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  #1    
Old March 20th, 2010 (06:51 PM). Edited July 30th, 2010 by zapdos926.
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
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this story was writen by Drag0nl0ver (me) on Deviant Art. Enjoy!

EDIT: i re-wrote this chapter, and i will soon re-write the rest. I'll keep the original for comparisons... top- rewrite, bottom- original

DRAGONS WINTER
CH.1
-----------------


A freezing wind blew across the forest. Ice hung from the branches of trees, threatening to fall off with the next wind and impale something. A group of pidgey huddled in their nest, some of the few still left. Most others had either died from the cold, frozen bodies could often be found on the ground, or flown to a warmer place.

A frosslass had been preying upon two dragons, with her partner, a Glalie. The two pokemon had followed the dragons, One was red with a white upper half, and a red pentagon on top of her head. The other was quite similar, but he was blue and had a blue circle on top of his head, rather than a pentagon.

The two pokemon were extremely weak because of the cold, and because they were dragons it was only worse, clouding all their senses, making it very hard, if not impossible to hunt and defend them selves. Ice cycles hung from the tips of their wings, and noses too, creating a direct source of cold.

The Frosslass shot an ice beam at the red one, who just had enough time to lift her head as the attack hit her. She was instantly frozen in a large block of ice. The Glalie was about to fire its own attack at the blue dragon, when a jet of fire blasted through the forest, nearly hitting the pokemon square in the face. The two ice types quickly fled.

A boy walked out of the trees, followed by a Quilava, whose back and head were still flaming. The boy had a long sword strapped to his back, and had longish dirty blonde hair. His strange yellow eyes glowed faintly. He had taken pity on the few dragons left during this fridged winter, and did his best to protect them.

The blue dragon didn’t notice him for two reasons: one, his senses were too clouded up to realize that his attackers had left; and two he was to absorbed in helping the red dragon to do anything else.

The boy walked over to the blue dragon and tapped his wing. The pokemon turned around startled.

What? Who- who are you?” a voice in the boys head answered the tap.

“I am Andrew.” The boy answered. “Quilava!” Andrew called. The little pokemon nodded and started to breathe a constant jet of fire on the frozen red dragon, melting away the ice.

Okay then, Andrew, why are you helping? This is no concern of yours!

“Fine, if you don’t want me to help you, that’s your option.” Andrew shrugged. “Quilava, we’re leaving.” The fire type stopped his jet of flame, and scampered up to the boys shoulder.

Wait, please, don’t let my sister die.” the blue pokemon called into Andrews’ mind after a moment. The boy turned around.

“Well then, Quilava lets not let his sister die. That would be sad.” The blue dragon looked appalled at Andrews' sarcasm, but after a second of thinking, found that the boy was being sincere.

Quilava had finished melting the snow around the red dragon, and gave one more puff of fire to help heat her up.

Thank you.” The blue pokemon said. “I am Latios, that’s Latias.

“Glad to have met you.” answered the boy. He looked at the one called Latias. “She’s severely wounded. I can take you to my cabin its not far, and you can rest, and Latias can heal.” Andrew offered.

Yes, thank you.” Latios replied. Andrew picked up Latias, she was quite heavy compared to the boy, but he still picked her up with ease. He called Quilava, who crawled onto his shoulder, and began to walk along a small, natural path between the trees. Latios, as he flew along, wondered how the boy could survive. Nothing could actually thrive in the freezing cold alone. Even ice types, who loved it, needed some amount of heat to survive. And any normal human would need multiple layers in this kind of cold, yet Andrew seemed only to wear on coat.

Andrew looked down for a moment when he felt a slight movement in his arms. He felt Quilava looked down too. Latias had begun to move a little. She opened her eyes for a moment, and then closed them again. In that second her eyes were open, Andrew saw a beautiful luminescent gold that looked like it could light the darkest of caves. The boy looked up just in time to see a low hanging branch and ducked.

Is that your house?” Latios asked as they entered a clearing with a wood cabin standing in the center.

“Yes, come along.” Andrew entered the house, with Latios close behind.
- - - - - - - --- -

(original)

It was a cold mid-winters afternoon as the Frosslass and her partner, a Glalie entered the edge of a clearing where two dragons looked for food. One of the dragons, slightly smaller than the other was red and white while the other was blue and white. Glalie fired its ice beam and the red dragon took a hit. She was almost instantly knocked out.

Right before frosslass could fire her attack a blast of flame shot at her from the other end of the clearing and right behind it came a Typhlosion. There was a flash of light and in the pokemons’ place was a boy who looked about 13. He was carrying a long sword strapped to his back.


The frosslass knew that he was trying to protect the two dragons. He had been protecting all dragons that the frosslass and her partner could find which was few in the winter. The frosslass told her partner it was time to go and they left. The boy walked closer to the two dragons he noticed that one was encased in a block of ice.


“Quilava!” he shouted and a small blue and tan pokemon came bounding out of the woods.


The boy suddenly heard a voice in his head. “What are you doing here” said the voice.


The boy didn’t seem to be very surprised. “I’m trying to help you” he said. “Quilava can you melt this ice with your ember?” the little pokemon nodded its head and went
over to the red dragons frozen form. Out of its mouth came a large flame that gradually got smaller as more ice melted so as not to hurt the dragon.


Why are you doing this?” the voice asked. The boy replied “why wouldn’t I?” “Because you’re human” said the voice which the boy suspected came from the blue one since he was still conscious.


“You’d be surprised at that answer” the boy said. Up to that point he had been staring at the blue dragon but now he looked at the red one which was now thawed.

“She’s seriously injured, I live in a cabin not to far from here it will be warm and safe there.” The boy said.


She was quite large and heavy compared to the boy but he still picked her up and carried her with ease.


Thank you” said the voice “I’m latios by the way.


“No problem, my name is Andrew, nice to meet you” answered the boy.


“Quilava!” Andrew shouted and the little pokemon came scurrying up to him and climbed to his shoulder. Despite the weight of the dragon in his arms Andrew ran swiftly between the trees. He slowed down when he felt a slight movement in his arms he looked down and saw that she had opened her eyes slightly. From what he saw he could see a sliver of a beautiful luminescent gold that made him slow a bit more and almost crash into a tree. After a few minutes of walking, they reached the cabin
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  #2    
Old March 20th, 2010 (09:52 PM).
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Krystallyn Krystallyn is offline
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Ooohhh... Sounds interesting. I can't wait for more.
__________________
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.
C. S. Lewis


♥ Dedicated to Justin, a guy I want to know much better ♥
☼You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile☼




Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis
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  #3    
Old March 20th, 2010 (10:21 PM). Edited July 30th, 2010 by zapdos926.
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Age: 18
Gender: Male
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Posts: 998
actually i wrote this in February, I just never thought of posting it, the most recent ch. Is 19 of the second story.
here is ch.2
edit: finally re wrote this one
---------

The second they entered the cabin Quilava jumped off Andrews’ shoulder and curled up in a ball on a small rug in the center of the main room. Andrew set Latias down on a small cot and put a blanket over her back. He got another blanket for Latios.

Andrew and Latios sat in silence in front of the fire for a moment when he heard the red dragon stir in the cot; she had woken up and was looking at Andrew.

Andrew smiled and said: “hello.” Latias didn’t reply, but just looked at him, and then glanced at her brother. The blue dragon nodded.

hello.” She thought to him. The pokemon sounded scared, and a little confused.

Andrew got up, as if remembering something, and walked over to a small cupboard at the edge of the room. He opened it and pulled out a small bowl full of a thick, gooey orange glob. It was steaming, and Andrew walked over to Latias and knelt next to her.

“This might feel warm.” Andrew said and dipped two of his fingers in the goo, he was about to let it drip onto Latias’ wing when she instinctively tried to fly away. Her wing knocked the bowl over, and Andrew quickly jumped back about three feet.

What is that anyways?” latios asked from behind.

“It’s an anti-freeze. It’s warm and will keep your sister from getting hypothermia.” Andrew replied simply. He left the room for a moment and came back with a small towel. He proceeded to wipe the anti-freeze off the floor, and when he was done, got another bowl of the stuff from the cupboard. “I always keep two of each kind of medicine.” Andrew explained when he saw Latios looking at him quizzically.

“Now, are you willing to let this drip on your back and wings?” Andrew asked Latias, who nodded. Again Andrew dipped his fingers in the mixture, and then he let it drip off his fingers. The goop instantly dissolved into Latias’ back, and she stopped shivering. Andrew continued letting the anti-freeze drip for about five more minutes, then put the bowl back, and sat down in front of the fire.

Thank you.” Latias said from behind, and se co her eyes to sleep.

“Your welcome.” Andrew answered without looking back. The boy absentmindedly stroked Quilavas' back, who had since fallen asleep.

He doesn’t talk much does he?” Latios nodded towards the small fire type.

“Nope, in the few years that I've known him, he hasn’t ever made a noise, with the exceptions of the occasional sneeze and cough.” Andrew shrugged.

It doesn’t bother you?” the blue pokemon asked.

“Not in the slightest.” Andrew answered. “I think its time we get to sleep.” Andrew got up and fetched two thick blankets from a closet, and spread them out on the floor. Andrew removed his sword and coat and lay down on the blanket.

Where are your parents?” Latios asked after he looked around.

“The bottom of the ocean.” Andrew said.

I’m sorry. Was it a shipwreck?

Andrew thought for a minute and said: “of sorts. Have you ever been to the ocean?”

Well not exactly but I’ve heard stories about it. How at times it’s beautiful, and others, its violent.

“Right on target. That’s exactly what its like.” And with that he rolled over and closed his eyes.

Well, good night to you too.” Latios rolled his eyes and then he too closed them and fell asleep.

Andrew though wasn’t asleep yet, but when slumber finally took its hold, he had a strange dream.

--------------
original

Right before they reached the cabin, Andrew noticed something was wrong. He lay latias down and told Quilava to help keep her and latios warm.

As he got closer he noticed that there was something or someone there. He walked all around the cabin and found nothing. Then he tried inside but he couldn’t open the door. He was positive he had left it unlocked. The boy tried the key he always kept in his pocket but for some reason it wouldn’t fit in the lock. He looked through the window and saw a frosslass, the same one that had attacked the two dragons, inside freezing the lock so no one could turn the knob nor put a key in the lock.

He went back to where the two dragons and Quilava were. He saw that the red dragon was fully awake now.

“Hello” Andrew made himself present. She seemed startled by his sudden appearance.

Hello” she quickly thought to him. Her voice was a mixture of shyness and gratitude.

“It seems as though we’ve been frozen out” Andrew said “Quilava come on, you’re welcome to come along too if you like” he announced to the two dragons. Latios floated easily up but when latias tried to rise she quickly fell back down.

I don’t think I can fly” she announced.

“Latios, you’re going to need to stay with her and keep her warm apparently.” Andrew said. The blue dragon nodded his head in agreement. “Come on Quilava” Andrew said quietly.

As the duo arrived at the house the boy sensed that everything was back to normal, but when he tried the door it was still frozen.

“Quilava, a little heat please” Andrew said. The small pokemon erupted in flames coming out pores on its back and head. The ice soon started to melt and when it did he sent Quilava back inside to warm the house up. He went back to where latios and latias were and quickly lifted up latias and led latios the rest of the way to the small cabin.

Once inside he put latias on the cot he slept on and prepared some food and potion for all of them. After a good meal of Tailow eggs and Miltank meat they all went to bed. Andrew rolled out a small mat and lay down next to the fire place after putting some blankets on latias and some blankets on the floor for latios to sleep. Latios floated down next to Andrew and asked “what did you mean when I said you were human and you said ‘you might surprised by the answer to that’”.

Andrew replied “I shouldn’t tell you right now, I’ve only just met you” And that night he had a dream…
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  #4    
Old March 21st, 2010 (05:00 PM).
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Krystallyn Krystallyn is offline
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Good chapter. I'm wondering what he means by you'd be surprised by the answer to that. Can't wait till you post the next chapter. It is a really good story.
__________________
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.
C. S. Lewis


♥ Dedicated to Justin, a guy I want to know much better ♥
☼You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile☼




Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis
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  #5    
Old March 21st, 2010 (05:13 PM).
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: I dunno... Ya know?
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Gentle
Posts: 998
thank you very much, again you can see that it was made up, but here is the third ch. these c. are only one word page long or less, but the secondbook can make it up to four pages.
------------
The dream was more like a nightmare. In it Andrew saw latias she was dangling limply, but from where? In his dream he looked up and saw that she was in the jaws of a very large dragon. He could see the light leaving her eyes. He knew the name of the pokemon he just couldn’t remember it. Then all of a sudden he was a Groudon and he saw latios being held down and a Lugia coming out of the sky attacking the large dragon. Then it was over.

He woke up to hear soft noises, like pokemon talking. He sat up and saw that it was just latios and latias talking in the pokemon dialect.

“good morning” he announced. He then remembered his dream and thought about telling latias but decided against. He shakily got up and started to make a breakfast of spoink bacon and starly eggs. While he was cooking latias came up to him “I can sense something troubling you” she said.

“It’s nothing” Andrew replied even though he was still shaking from seeing her dangling from that other dragon’s mouth. He got a better look at her right now, her beautiful golden eyes showed worry.

It’s never nothing” she replied and floated away. Later that day Andrew had a feeling something was up. He asked latios if sensed anything. “Yes actually, I do. Why?
“We need to get out of here” Andrew said. Andrew started to pack a small pack with provisions like bread and water. He attached a large tent to the side and slung his sword over his shoulder. Andrew called it and Quilava crawled into his shoulder.

“Latias, can you fly more? We’re leaving.” Andrew said

Yes, but why? Where are we going?” she said

“Its no longer safe here, they’ve found me.”

Wait a minute, who found you?” questioned latios.

Andrew didn’t wait any longer he pulled them both out the door and jumped into the air. The dragons both expected him to just fall back to earth, but instead there was a flash of light and in Andrews place was a young looking Rayquaza. Quilava who had been expecting this new where he was to sit. The small pokemon secured the bag with provisions to the Rayquazas’ back.

Hurry, follow me” he thought to the two dragons.


Wait, what’s happening?” latios inquired.


I’ve been hunted for a long time” Rayquaza said. “I’ll tell you more once I find a safe spot to land.” Just as they all took off a large group of men all equipped with bows and two quivers of arrows each stepped out of the woods.

Before the dragons could even gain any good altitude every last one of them had arrows knocked and were aiming. They all fired at once and two arrows hit latios and he plunged.
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  #6    
Old March 21st, 2010 (05:19 PM).
Krystallyn's Avatar
Krystallyn Krystallyn is offline
☼ ♥You make me smile♥ ☼
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Lost in a book.♥
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 148
*gasp* Suspense!! I like this story.
__________________
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.
C. S. Lewis


♥ Dedicated to Justin, a guy I want to know much better ♥
☼You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile☼




Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis
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  #7    
Old March 21st, 2010 (06:02 PM). Edited March 21st, 2010 by zapdos926.
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: I dunno... Ya know?
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Gentle
Posts: 998
you know, i was going to wait till tomorrow to post these next few ch. but i'm headed to florida on tues. and iwant to get as many ch. as possible here before i go. so here is ch. 4
--------------
As latios plunged, Rayquaza dived after him and right before latios hit the ground the large green dragon lifted him up and put latios on his back.

I need to find a place to land soon, those arrows might be poisoned, furry follow me!” Andrew thought to latias. Her eyes showed fear, not of the men below her but of the dragon in front of her.

Please latias!” Andrew pleaded “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything before, but if I had… just hurry! Latios might die.” Even fear of someone who she had quickly come to trust after only two days was over powered by the need to help her older brother.

Ok” she thought back. Soon they were far out of range of the men’s arrows.
- - - - - - - - - -

“Sir, we have sent two search parties to investigate where the blue dragon supposedly crashed, we have found neither hide nor scale, nor feather.” said a man wearing very heavy clothes.

“Yes, I know, someone else already told me.” said the man he was speaking to. He was equipped with a large scythe and a short sword. Behind him, shivering in the cold stood a Salamence. The large dragon roared as if it would make the winter go away.

“Charizard” the man called and a medium sized orange dragon appeared behind him. “Warm up Salamence for me” the man said. Charizard nodded its head and bathed the large light blue dragon in flames. Salamence nodded its thanks.

The man, who went by Lukas, leaped onto the Salamence’ back.

“Salamence, east.” The man said and the dragon flew off in the direction the Rayquaza and latias went.
- - - - - - - - - - -

When Andrew looked back he saw that latias was slowing down. They had been traveling for hours and Quilava was doing its best to keep Latios warm.

I think we’ve lost them for now, they’ve probably sent some one after us though but for now we can rest” he thought to Latias who seemed relieved to hear the word rest.

Ok” she replied. She had said almost nothing the entire flight. She was still wounded from the day before but she healed quickly.

The group landed and Rayquaza set Latios down and there was a flash of light. In the green dragons place was the boy that latias had come to trust, his dirty blonde hair blowing slightly in the breeze.

what are you?” latias asked as Andrew worked on the arrows, one in his back and one in his side, a mixture of fear and wonderment in her voice.

“A pokemon just like you” he answered.

What do you mean?” she inquired.

“I have an ability that I don’t think anyone else has except for ditto maybe, I can change into any pokemon that I have ever touched, including you and latios.”

---------
and ch.5
---------

Latias was extremely surprised.“So you have met many pokemon and absorbed them? My brother and I, well we have a similar ability. We can reflect and bend the light around us with our feathers to look like anything.” She proved it by turning into a nearby tree and then shimmering back to her real form.

So how did you meet the pokemon that you just were?” she asked. “It must have been a challenge to find whatever it was.

“That form was a Rayquaza” Andrew answered. “He was one of my best friends actually,” He said after a while.

So where is he now?” latias inquired.

“Dead.” Andrew said.

Oh, I-I’m sorry” she apologized.

“Its fine but I’m the one who should be apologizing.” Andrew said. He grunted as he finally got the arrow out of Latios’ back. “I didn’t tell you who I really am.” He said again and started to work on the arrow in latios’ side.

Well, how did he die?” latias questioned.

“That’s the reason I was worried about latios, he died from a poisoned arrow to the chest.” Andrew said. He grunted again as he pulled the other arrow out of the blue dragons side. He inspected the tip of the arrow, it was covered in blood but he could see the slightest bit of greenish white at the tip.

“Quilava! The bag!” Andrew shouted. The little pokemon had been asleep by a small fire that it had made and woke with a start but fetched the small sack none the less. Andrew opened the sack and pulled out a small bottle of purple liquid.

What is that?” latias asked warily, distrust in her eyes.

“It’s a poison antidote, I made it just for this purpose, you should get some rest latias, you’ve had a long flight. Ill take care of latios.” Out of the pack he took a couple of large blankets and quickly set up the tent.

“Quilava, can you make some dry ground for us to sleep on? It’s quite wet where the tent is now.” The small tan and blue pokemon nodded and let out a jet of flame and melted the snow to make a dry spot for the tent which Andrew then moved it onto.

“Latias please trust me” Andrew said to the red and white dragon as she drifted into the tent.

I want to, but I don’t know if I can.” She answered.

“Goodnight” Andrew said. If she heard him, latias didn’t reply.

After feeding him some antidote, and moving latios into the tent he pulled a few blankets out of the pack and lay them on the ground after getting Quilava to melt a spot of snow for him.

“You’d better get into the tent with latios and latias, they seem prone to cold weather, and tonight is going to very cold I have a feeling, keep them warm” Andrew said and the small pokemon nodded its head and went inside.

That night Andrew had another dream, but it lasted much longer this time and it was just the same thing playing over and over. It was a man, a man he knew well, holding a scythe to a red and white dragon’s neck and a short sword to her chest.

----------
ch.6
----------

Andrew woke up in a cold sweat. He looked up at the moons position. It was about morning, he could see the first sliver of light on the horizon. He could tell whoever was chasing them was getting closer.

He went over to the tent and opened it. The two dragons were sleeping peacefully, and Quilava was giving off a comfortable heat. He didn’t want to wake them but he had to.

“Rise and shine” he said. The two dragons looked up groggily, and Quilava yawned and got up.

“Come on, we’ve got to get moving, the hunters are coming” Andrew said. “Latios let me see your back.” The blue dragon obeyed. Looking through his feathers Andrew saw the wound where the arrow struck.

“It doesn’t look infected, how are you feeling” Andrew asked.

Ok I guess” he thought to the boy. Andrew looked into his red eyes. In them he saw trust. He looked at latias who was fully awake now, her eyes showed the opposite.

Next Andrew got on his knees and looked at latios’ side. When he moved the feathers he saw exactly what he didn’t want to, a horrible infection.

“Here drink some of this” he told the dragon. “Its antidote it should help, your side has an infection; this should help rid the rest of the poison from your body.”

What poison, what are you talking about?” Latios asked worriedly. Andrew was about to answer this but Latias did for him.

One of the arrows that hit was poisoned.” she said. Andrew looked at her. All of a sudden the forest around them was ablaze.

“Oh-no, not good, they’re here” Andrew muttered. There was a flash of light and the boy was no longer there and once again there was a Rayquaza in his place and a look of fear in both latios’ and latias’ eyes. Quilava was already on his back and had secured the bag and sword to the Rayquazas’ back.

Before Andrew could even say anything to the two dragons a man seemed to float out of the flames in front of him. When Andrew looked closer though he saw that the man was on top of a Salamence. He soon realized that this was Lukas the one who had been hunting them. A jet of flame came from the salamences’ mouth. Andrew was separated from latias and latios. He flew strait up and shot a beam of light from his mouth into the flames where Lukas was. Then he looked around. And saw a blue in the flames and dived into the fire. He saw latios who was choking in the blaze. He tossed the now smoky blue dragon onto his back. When he looked back down Lukas and his dragon from the underworld were gone.
- - - - - - - - - - -
He flew about a mile in away from the fire and landed. After a few hours the flames still hadn’t died down but were slowly spreading. Latios had gotten over his coughing fit and had stopped breathing so hard.

“I’m going back to look for latias” Andrew announced who was now back in his human form.

I’m coming with you” said latios

“Suit yourself.” Muttered the boy.

Andrew walked while latios flew and Quilava rode on Andrews’ shoulder. As they entered the blaze looking for their missing and possibly dead friend they had no idea that she was no where near there.

---------
ch.7 will be the last for this post.
---------

The last thing latias saw before she was knocked out was a Salamence. She had been separated from both Andrew and Latios when a jet of flame had shot out of the already burning forest.

She suddenly saw a large light blue dragon that said in its dialect”Good night” and every thing went black.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Orin loved the feel of riding, he felt as though he could go as fast as he pleased while the Rapidash carrying him practically flew. He had been riding for almost an hour when he came to what he thought was a clearing when he heard a voice.

He looked around after dismounting saw that much of the forest around him was burnt. He then saw a young boy with dirty blonde hair speaking to a blue dragon. Orin hid behind a tree and silently watched.

“Please just let me see your arm” said the boy, “you’re burnt.” The blue dragon didn’t move, but just hovered there. The boy became impatient and grabbed the dragons arm and started wrapping a strip of cloth around it. The dragon tried to pull away but couldn’t, the boy was surprisingly strong.

“Now drink some more of this.” The boy said again. “Yes, I know you don’t trust me but I don’t want you to die!” the boy began to shout. “One of those damn arrows is the reason my best friend died!” he yelled

“The arrow that hit him barely glanced off his skin, this arrow hit you and stuck into you!” the boy screamed, but then suddenly stopped. He seemed more startled at his own outburst than the blue dragon did.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.” The blue dragon glanced toward Orin who quickly concealed himself behind a tree.

“Yes, I know someone is here.” Said the boy. When Orin quickly glanced back the boy was no longer there but only the dragon. Orin turned back to his Rapidash when it whinnied. Standing next to it was the boy patting its neck softly.

“What are you doing here” asked the boy, extremely calmly after that outburst.

“I was riding and heard a voice so I stopped.” Orin said.

“What’s your name?” asked the boy

“Orin”, he replied.

“I am Andrew, and behind me is latios.” Said the boy

“But the only thing behind you is my-“he stopped short when he saw a shimmer behind Andrew, then the blue dragon appeared.

Hello” said a voice in Orin’s head.

“What, who said that and how did he do that?” Orin asked the first question to anyone, and the second one to the boy.

I did” said the voice again. “I am latios

“Wait, that was you?” the man stared at the blue dragon in disbelief.

Yes, it was.” Replied the dragon. “And about the appearing, my sister and have the ability to render ourselves invisible by controlling the light that hits our feathers.”

“Umm, ok” the man sounded skeptical. “Then where is your so said sister? Is she invisible, waiting to pop out?” he asked.
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  #8    
Old March 21st, 2010 (08:05 PM).
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Krystallyn Krystallyn is offline
☼ ♥You make me smile♥ ☼
 
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Hmm... It appears I'll have to wait for the next chapter. Oh well.
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Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.
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♥ Dedicated to Justin, a guy I want to know much better ♥
☼You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile☼




Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis
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  #9    
Old March 22nd, 2010 (10:49 AM).
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
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well, here are a few more ch. i tink i'll go from 8 to 12 in this post
-----------------

ch.8

Latias woke up, the first thing she saw was the ocean, it was a beautiful clear blue. She tried to move he arms but couldn’t she looked down and saw that she was bound by a thick rope. A shadow fell over her. She looked up and she saw a man, he had an evil aura around him.

He was holding a large scythe with an edge that looked like a saw and was a shiny black. Behind him there was a Salamence, the same one that had knocked her out and to either side of the man were 2 cloaked figures each had a bow and quiver slung across their shoulders and were holding halberds.

“Hello” said the man. Latias didn’t reply. “I have seen you traveling with that boy.” He continued. The man could see fear and distrust in her eyes. He couldn’t tell of whom though, she seemed to be far off.

“Let me introduce myself, I am Lucas, and behind me is my Salamence.

What do you want with me?’ latias asked fearfully. Lukas seemed surprised that she didn’t just speak in the pokemon dialect.

“I have been hunting your friend for a very long time, if he has not already told you he has the abili-“

Yes, he told me, the ability to absorb the essence of a pokemon and become it at his whim.

“Hmmm, well yes, and I want that power.” He said. “You seem distrusting of him. You have a right to feel like that though. He did leave you to die in the flames.” A small smirk came across the mans face.
- - - - - - - - - - -
“So let me get this strait, you have the ability to change into any pokemon that you have touched and absorbed their essence?” asked Orin.

“Sounds about right” replied Andrew. All the pokemon had fallen asleep, Quilava had curled up next to latios, and together with the Rapidash they made a pleasant heat. Andrew was glad that he no longer had latios’ gaze burning into him. He didn’t like the look of distrust that was now in latios’ eyes as well as latias’. As an example, Andrew turned into latios and back. Another reason he was glad all the pokemon were asleep.

“And you’re trying to rescue a friend that is latios’ sister?” Orin continued.

“Yes” answered Andrew. The boy knelt next to the blue dragon and looked at his side. The infection was spreading, and the skin around the wound was turning black and when Andrew sifted through them some feathers fell out.

“This is not good” he muttered to himself.

“What? What’s happening?” Orin asked.

“Latios was hit with a poisoned arrow yesterday.” Andrew answered “I’ve tried everything to help him” he said as he pulled out a syringe filled with antidote.

“Well good luck with every thing.” Orin said. “I’m sorry about your friend, both of them.”

The man woke his Rapidash, mounted, and with one last wave he left leaving Andrew all alone with a dieing dragon and his Quilava.
-------------------
ch.9
For a while Andrew just sat there. He was thinking of a rescue plan and soon came up with one. He woke up latios and Quilava, the little pokemon stretched and climbed to Andrews’ shoulder. Latios just looked up sleepily shivered at the sudden loss of heat and lay his head back down.

“Latios, I’m going to find your sister, you’re welcome to come along.”

There’s no use, she died in the fire.” Latios said sadly.

“No she didn’t, how can you not sense her presence? She is not here but she is alive!” Andrew shouted. Latios was more awake now and focused deeply.

Yes I do sense something, but it can’t be her, it’s in to much distress and pain to be her. Even when she’s hurt or sad her spirit is never like this” latios said.

“Has she ever been threatened with death?”
- - - - - - - - - - -
“Happy feasting” said a man with a halberd to latias. He tossed her a long dead pidgey and a bowl of water. She gladly ate the pidgey even though it looked diseased; she had only been fed enough to last through one more day, which was usually just a loaf of bread. Today Lucas visited her again.

“Guard, untie her wings.” Lucas commanded. The guard took his halberd and swung, cutting the ropes that had bound latias’ wings to her sides.

“Come with me” said Lucas, she floated up and almost fell back down but the guard nudged her with the butt of his halberd and warned that he would use the tip if she didn’t keep moving.
- - - - - - - - - - -
As Andrew flew east in his Rayquaza form he noticed that the smell of flowers and the ocean was getting stronger. He was getting closer to his home. Latios seemed to notice the change too.

Were getting closer, aren’t we?” latios asked. “I’ve never been to the ocean before.” He continued.

It’s a wonderful place, and that’s where my original form is from” Andrew said “it’s my home
- - - - - - - - - - -
The young Lugia lifted her head and listened closely when she heard foot steps in the cave above hers. She put her head to a small vent that led between caves and listened. She heard the voice of the man who kept his armies here. She also heard a voice this one was in her head though.

She didn’t like what she heard.

“Now tell me how your friend got his powers.” Said the man.

I told you, he never said!” the voice in her head answered. The Lugia heard a thud followed by the sound of someone hitting the ground. She flew out of her cave. What she saw she didn’t like even more than what she heard.

She landed on top of the mouth of the cave so that no one could see her but she could see everything that came in and out of the cave. One of the guards she typically saw came out of the cave carrying a red and white feathered dragon that had blood running down her neck and head. The dragon opened her golden eyes and she some how saw the Lugia and one thought entered her head right before the dragon closed her eyes again: “help me”
---------------------
ch.10

Latios soon saw an island. They had been flying over open ocean for days, Andrew carrying him when he got too tired. Every once and while they found a small island and camped there for a night.

Land ho!’ shouted the blue dragon into Andrews head.
<I don’t know why you keep speaking to me through telepathy, I can understand the pokemon dialect> Andrew said over the wind in the pokemon dialect.

<I know but it feels more right to speak to you through telepathy since when I first met you, you were human> said the dragon. They quickly approached the island and landed. Andrew changed back into his human form and wandered around.

He gathered up palm leaves and made a shelter just large enough for both boy and dragon to fit. Quilava immediately went inside and fell asleep. A cool breeze blew across the ocean, ruffling latios’ feathers and blowing Andrews’s hair around his head.

The boy turned to latios, “let me see your side again.” He said. Distrust quickly filled the dragons red eyes. “Look, I don’t want you to die, I know it’s only been a week since I met you but we’ve already been through a lot.” The boy walked over to the blue dragon. The boy quickly inspected latios’ side and saw that the infection was becoming smaller.

The dragon lay down on the beach and Andrew sat next to him and began rubbing his neck. Latios sighed contentedly.

“We are very close to latias, don’t worry.” Andrew said.

How can I not worry? She’s my little sister, I’d do everything to protect her.” thought latios
“I would do the same for both of you. Let me see your arm now.” said the boy. Distrust again showed in the dragons red eyes, but only for a moment and he held out his arm. Without taking his hand of Latios’ neck Andrew removed the strip of cloth. The burn had turned into a blister which made the boy feel like puking, but he didn’t and just tossed the bloody cloth away and ripped a new shred from his under shirt, soaked it in the ocean and wrapped it around latios’ forearm again.

Ocean sunsets are so beautiful.” Latios said dreamily.

“Oh, that reminds me, I think it’s time I showed you my true form.” Said Andrew who let go of latios’ neck and walked strait into the water. Latios was worried he might drown and almost went in after the boy but a sudden spray of water hit him in the face.

He looked around and saw in the water beneath him a large blue whale with red markings going up and down its body. The whale looked up at latios playfully.
This is my real form” said the whale, which looked extremely young. “I’m a Kyogre
- - - - - - - - - - -
Off on an island about a mile south the young Lugia thought about what she had heard from the red dragon, then she sensed that someone new was entering her territory, and she flew off north.
-------------------
ch.11

As she soared across the ocean the Lugia could tell that whoever was here was not here to do harm. She came to a small island she usually came to when thinking. When she arrived she saw a small tent made out of palm leaves. She could feel faint warmth coming from the inside. It was still dark out so who ever made the tent must be sleeping in it she thought

The Lugia peered into the tent to see a boy with dirty blonde hair and soot all over his face, a small pokemon which she took to be a Quilava, and a dragon that looked almost exactly like the one from her island, except this one was a bit bigger, blue and had an oval on its head rather than a pentagon.

She looked on the floor and saw a long sword; it was un-sheathed and laying right by the boys’ hand. The sword was made of a metal like none she had ever seen, it was colored exactly like the ocean on a bad day and in the hilt and blade waves were etched into it.

The boy opened his eyes and the Lugia flew into the forest. Andrew sat up and looked around, his hands on the sword. He went out side and tended the fire that Quilava had made the night before. He went into the forest and found some bananas and a few varieties of melons. He found some sticks and began roasting some bananas. He pulled out a loaf of bread from his pack and ripped it in half.

He entered the tent and placed a half loaf in front of Quilava and the other half in front of latios. When he went back outside, he saw the Lugia from his dream sitting by the fire.

<Why are you here?> she asked in her dialect.

“Hello” Andrew said. He was shocked by the sudden appearance and questioning of the pokemon. “I’m here to help a friend.” He answered. A sudden look of knowing spread across the lugias’ face, followed by confusion.

<are you here to help a red dragon? And how did you know what I said, you’re human?> she asked.

“Yes, I am here to help her.” he answered, ignoring the second question. “Can you take me to her?” he asked hastily. Just then, latios came out of the tent. Andrew looked at him. His face showed shock, and then a mild curiosity. The blue dragon floated up next to the boy.

<yes, but you didn’t answer my-> she was cut off by latios.

<who are you? What are you doing here?> the dragon asked.

<I’m Luni, and who might you be?> she asked both of them.

“I’m Andrew and this is latios.” said the boy. “Nice to meet you I guess.”

<well, if it’s the red dragon you seek, come with me, boy, you can ride on my back. And I’m assuming you can fly latios?> Luni said.

<Yes> replied Latios who looked at Andrew.

Will you ride on her back or will you fly?” the dragon thought directly to him, no one else.

I will ride her, it would probably scare her if I flew.> said Andrew, again directly to latios. The blue dragon looked startled at this form of communication; he had never heard Andrew use it before.

“May I?” Andrew went over to Luni, who bent over so he could hop on, his sword was in his hand that whole time and now he sheathed it and called Quilava who scurried up oto Andews' shoulder.
---------------------
ch.12

Right when Andrew mounted Luni he felt a tingling in his mind. The young Lugia closed her eyes and then opened them again. He had absorbed part of her essence.

As they flew latios asked “where are we going?

“Before you came out of the tent Luni told me that she had seen your sister.” Andrew replied. He looked at the blue dragon, who was still looking strait ahead but acknowledged him with a red eye.

<So, you’re going to take us to her?> latios asked in his dialect.

<Yes, and when you get there you might have, umm, complications, to deal with.> she said.

“Andrew put his hand to his swords hilt and said “we’ll be ready.”

The group soon approached the island, Luni banked sharply to the left and latios followed suit. The young Lugia dropped them off in the middle of a forest.

<If you need me, just call> said the Lugia.

“I think we’ll be fine, but I will if needed.” answered the boy. Luni flew off, still confused about how a human could understand her.

For the flight, Quilava had fallen asleep in Andrews’ bag, but now got out and scouted ahead of Latios and the boy. The trio came to the edge of what looked like a clearing but with further examination, Andrew saw that a stone painted door had been put into a large rock. Latios saw two archers on top of the rock and warned Andrew.

“Yes I see them” the boy said, and he was suddenly holding a bow and had two arrows in a small quiver. The bow was the color of the sea on a calm day and seemed to ripple where the boy held it. The arrows were the same.

Andrew knocked one of the arrows and fired. The arrow barely grazed the first guard on the arm but the man still fell down and sounded like he was drowning. The second guard aimed towards where the first arrow came from and let loose. His arrow flew right by Andrews’ face but the boy seemed un-fazed. The boy had another arrow knocked and fired within two seconds. This arrow hit the second guard in the chest.

The man looked at his chest in shock. The arrow seemed to have past through him, not leaving even a scrape. Then he seemed to choke and fell to the ground.

“How did you do that?” asked latios in surprise, “the arrow didn’t even leave a mark!”
Andrew looked in his quiver and showed what was inside to latios.

“It's just water.” said the dragon.

“Yes, but those arrows had the essence of water imbued into them,” Andrew began “they kill without even barely touching someone, when the arrow hits; it exchanges all the air inside a living thing with water, giving the appearance of drowning.” He explained. “My sword is almost exactly the same, except it can decapitate someone.” Latios looked horrified.

Andrew walked over to the door and slashed at it with his sword and it quickly fell to pieces. Latios floated over to him.

“Dragons first” said the boy, and they entered into a long dark passage way with Quilava ablaze leading them.
-----------------
leave comments! :D

i probably wont be posting anything for eight days, i'll probably post the rest of this book today though.

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  #10    
Old March 22nd, 2010 (10:54 AM).
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Porygon-Z Porygon-Z is offline
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I really like the story and I'd certainly keep reading, but I think the pace is moving a little too quickly.
Maybe go over what you have so far and flesh it out with some scene setting, descriptions and incidental dialogue and events for character development. At the moment the whole thing is very to the point and feels slightly rushed.

I love the winter landscape setting and the main story! The landscape to me seems a very fresh and unique idea, and I think you could afford to make more of it with scene setting and some more descriptive passages to really make the world the characters inhabit seem more realistic and deep.
Also you have a strong sense of plot which is good.

I think mainly, since your story is good you shouldn't feel like you have to rush it. The readers will enjoy taking their time to savour the story, lose themselves in your world as you build it up around them and give them time to get to know your characters.

Keep going, I hope to see more of this story too!
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  #11    
Old March 22nd, 2010 (11:04 AM).
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
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yes, i know. it gets much better in book two though.
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Old March 22nd, 2010 (06:26 PM).
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
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well, this is my last post with ch. for the next eight days. i might still be able to just post to your comments though. here is ch. 13-?
------------
ch.13

Latias could sense that they were near. Maybe the Lugia had found them somehow, maybe not, but Andrew and Latios were here. She had stopped hoping the day before when she was hit in the head with the back of Lucas’ scythe. She just hoped they weren’t here because they had been captured too.
- - - - - - - - - - -
When they finally exited the long tunnel both boy and dragon were amazed. They were standing on the edge of a sheer cliff over looking a calm deep blue ocean. Andrew turned around and looked up. There were more sheer edges layered above each other. Each with a series of caves leading to who knows where.

<I can smell… blood> came a small voice. Andrew and latios looked down at Quilava, startled. It was the first time Andrew had heard the pokemon make a noise of any kind for 4 years.

“Was that you?” Andrew asked, amazed.

<yes, but the smell, I can smell pain too, and hope, very little, but its still there.> Quilava said. The little pokemon looked at Andrew and latios, as if expecting them to say something. < I can also smell a life fading…> it continued.

“Whoa hold on, you can smell these things?” asked latios who had recovered from the slight shock. Andrew was still just staring.

<Yes> Quilava replied. <But these scents, they are coming from latias.>. The red dragons name brought Andrew back.

“Come on” said the boy. Latios and Quilava looked at him as he started up the slope that led to the next level of caves, and slowly started after him.

The group soon reached the next level of caves.

<The smell is getting stronger> said Quilava. Andrew acknowledged him by nodding his head.

“Why haven’t you said anything all these years?” asked the boy as they reached the second level of caves.

<I was afraid if I said anything I would disappoint you.> the small pokemon said shyly.

“I don’t know why you would think that” Andrew said.

<You saved me all those years ago from that Feraligatr, I was extremely grateful, but I knew that a human couldn’t understand me so I said nothing.> Quilava explained.

“But what about when you learned that I wasn’t human?” Andrew inquired.

<When I learned that, I thought about thanking you then and there, but thought I might say something that would offend you.> the small pokemon continued. The boy seemed to think about this.

Just then they reached the third level where at least forty men were waiting for them.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Luni had been thinking about it for sometime now, tossing ideas around her mind. She had come up with only a few possibilities of how a human could understand her. But the only two that seemed even slightly reasonable was that he had a special ability, or that he wasn’t human, obviously not a ditto since it couldn’t speak even if it did turn into a human. If the boy survived she would ask him. The Lugia lay her head down and listened while she fell asleep, she blocked every thing except out, so that if the boy happens to call for her she will hear.
------------
ch.14

The foot steps grew closer, and two men wielding two-handed swords made their way to the chamber latias was kept in on the third level of caves. Another man wielding two small steel halberds walked in behind the other two.

“My commander would like to have a word with you.” said the man. Latias could see in his eyes that he knew what was happening and that he was sorry he had to do it. The two guards untied her wings, and led her down the passage way to a door that she hadn’t noticed before.

“What’s happening?” she asked the man with fear and pain in her voice. He didn’t reply. One of the guards opened the large door and she was led up a set of stairs to another door which the man opened again. This time they were outside. Latias was almost blinded by the light from being stuck in the cave for so long.

She instinctively tried to shield her eyes but her arms were still bound to her sides. She just wanted the pain and suffering to end.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Andrew quickly recovered from the shock of seeing so many men on the narrow ledge. They were lined up in two columns of 20, each group of four wielding a different weapon, starting with long swords and ending with two-handed swords.

“Quilava” Andrew said. The little pokemon breathed a jet of flame so large that the first eight men instantly caught fire and were burnt to a crisp.

“How do they make armor that isn’t fire proof?” asked latios in mock surprise. He had noticed that underneath of the metal was extra wood plating so that it was very hard to pierce, but that fire was very hot.

Some of the men who caught fire backed into the men behind them and pushed quite a few off the cliff and catching others on fire. By the time the game of flaming dominoes was over there was only one man with a two handed sword left. The man thought of his odds and choices, decided the least messy one and jumped off the cliff into the churning waters where a group of hungry Carvana where waiting.

“That was easy” said latios. Quilava looked distraught.

<I killed them, I killed them all> he said. Andrew tried to help.

“No, you killed all but one, and that one jumped into a group of hungry Carvana.” he said, but then frowned. “Look, I know it’s not fun to kill people, but you chose to travel with me and for those who do its kill or be killed.” said the boy, whose face was now dark.

“Come on” said latios, “we’re on a mission.” Quilava looked up to the dragon and nodded. The trio quickly began their ascent to the top of the cliff, but above them a pair of red eyes watched. The black dog-like pokemon sprinted off; it had some one to meet.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Luni heard soft foot steps coming toward her and lifted her head. The only thing she could see was a group of glowing yellow circles and a pair of red eyes, all of which seemed to be floating.

<Hello, Umbreon.> Luni said.

<Afternoon> the pokemon replied. Luni went outside and the dark pokemon followed her.

<So, what did you see?> Luni asked.
----------------
ch.15

<Well, where should I start?> the pokemon asked himself. <well, the trio got to the third level where they had a tea party with a group of 40 armed men. What do you think happened?> Umbreon said sarcastically.

<come on just spit it out.> Luni said with a sigh.

<The Quilava burnt them all to a crisp, serves ‘em right to.> Umbreon said. <But what worries me is that mine weren’t the only eyes watching.>
- - - - - - - - - - -
“I have gotten word that your friends have indeed come to rescue you.” said Lucas, an evil grin on his face. When latias didn’t even change her expression he went on.

“They should be here right…about…now” and right then the trio came up the slope. “Guards!” he yelled and a group of about 200 men surrounded the boy and his companions. Andrew drew his sword.

“Quilava, climb onto Latios’ back and both of you stay out of reach of all weapons including arrows until I give you the signal.” Andrew said and both pokemon nodded and the dragon took off once Quilava was safe on his back.

“Come and get me!” he shouted to the soldiers and a frown fell across his face. As one the men charged and in a flurry of slices and lunges his attacking foes fell one by one. Within five minutes every single one of them was on the ground.

“You killed nearly half of my men without even touching them.” Lucas was shocked.

“Yes they… drowned” replied the boy who now was slowly approaching Lucas, twirling his bloodied sword. Lucas’ officers who were standing next to him backed away. Andrew put his left hand into a fist and held it up in the air. At that moment latios came out of the sky with Quilava on his back, flames pouring out the small pokemons’ mouth. The officers were burnt as quickly as the men on the cliff.

Andrew looked at the two pokemon, who again at his signal burnt the nearby archers. Andrew now looked at Lucas and the Salamence behind him. The boy instantly stopped moving, he saw latias at the salamences feet. There was a flash of light and he was Groudon, latios had landed next to him and looked up, less fearful then when he had first seen this happen.

The Groudon roared and the ground shook.

<Luni!> he called out with a roar.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Luni had been in a cave almost below him, so when she heard her name roared her ears nearly split. She flew off any way.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Andrew saw Luni coming from the cliff and told her to take care of the Salamence. She fired a powerful attack but missed, Salamence seemed only pestered by her appearance and flew off to do battle with her. She was quickly hit and fell to the ground with a resounding thud. Salamence flew back to his masters’ side. This time though he picked latias up in his mouth.

“Machoke” Lucas called out and two bulky pokemon appeared out of no where behind latios and held him down, a third one grabbed Quilava by the neck.

“You have no one to help you right now” said Lucas “turn back into your human form and let’s talk.”
---------------
ch.16

Andrew looked at his companions all being held down except Luni who was just laying on the ground. He then looked at latias in the jaws of the Salamence. He then turned back into his human form and a Machoke grabbed him.

“Tell your Salamence to drop her.” Andrew said, head hanging down. “If you don’t I’ll turn back into Groudon and step on you.” Lucas thought about this.

“Salamence, drop her.” he commanded. The dragon didn’t even lower its head, instead he just let her roll out of his mouth and she dropped 8 feet. She lay still and Lucas nudged her with the butt of his scythe.

“It would be a loss if she’s dead; she made a good bargaining chip.” Lucas said.

“Do you really enjoy doing your job?” Andrew whispered to the Machoke holding him. “If you don’t you will let me go, if you really enjoy seeing other pokemon die, you’re sick”

<I don’t like what I do> said the Machoke. <I have nightmares all the time about what I’ve seen.>

“Then release me” whispered Andrew.

<I can’t> the Machoke sighed with regret.

“I’ll just have to break free then.” The boy turned suddenly broke out of Machokes hands and rushed Lucas, picking up his sword as he passed it. He stopped abruptly when he saw that Lucas wasn’t just holding his weapons any more. He stared at the man who was now holding his scythe to Latias' neck and his sword to her chest. He threw latias to the ground when he saw Andrew stop and throw his sword down.

Machoke appeared again behind him and held on tighter this time.

“No let him go” Lucas said to the Machoke who released the boy. It pushed Andrew toward Latias where he fell to his knees and put her head on his lap.

She opened her eyes slightly and saw Andrew looking down at her. He stroked her head and felt the spot where she had been hit. He looked down her neck, and saw the bite marks that were still bleeding from where Salamence had picked her up. He could tell she was dieing. She said what he was thinking.

<I’m dieing aren’t I?> she said, to weak to use telepathy.

“No, I wont let you, every thing will be all right.” he forced a smile. Latios had been able to break free of the Machoke holding him when blasting them with a weak attack. He then helped Quilava and they both went to Andrew’s side. When latios really saw the condition he charged Lucas.

The man pulled out a knife and Andrew had seen what was about to happen and tackled the blue dragon before he made contact with the blade. They rolled for a few feet and came to a halt.

“That was very foolish of you; did you not see the knife?” Andrew said after getting up. A faint white glow came from behind him and both boy and dragon turned. Quilava had begun to glow the pokemon became larger and stood on its hind legs. In its place was a Typhlosion.

<I did not come all this way and kill all those people to see her die! He shouted. Lucas couldn’t understand but could tell he was angry. The large pokemon now was completely engulfed in flames and before Andrew could stop him the pokemon rushed Lucas.
----------------
ch.17

Lucas held out his knife to intercept the flaming pokemon, but the heat of the pokemon melted the blade as if it were butter. The Typhlosion hit him in the chest and knocked him to the ground with such force that the ground cracked. How he didn’t burn like his men Lucas didn’t know.

<You don’t deserve to live> said Typhlosion as he hovered over the man. Again Lucas didn’t understand what he was saying but could tell he was even angrier than before. The pokemon raised a fist which caught fire and was about to bring it down on the man.

“Stop!” Andrew shouted. The large blue and tan pokemon abruptly stopped his flaming punch right above Lucas’ face and walked over to the boy. Lucas sat up and wiped blood from his lip. Salamence just standing there behind him the whole time.

Lucas yelled at it “why didn’t you defend me?” the pokemon just stood there, gazing at where the two dragons were. Lucas followed the dragons gaze to find that the dragons weren’t there.

“Latios, now” the boy said and there was a shimmer of light behind Lucas and the dragon appeared. Latios’ eyes began to glow blue and Lucas seemed to become paralyzed. Salamence recovered from the shock of the two dragons disappearing and the blue one reappearing and tackled latios.

The blue dragon lost its focus and Lucas became mobile again. Salamence was on top of latios now who was on his back, pinning down his wings with sharp claws. Salamence let go of latios who floated up, and with a whack from its large tail, sent latios flying into a large rock, where he fell and no longer moved.

“Typhlosion, take care of Salamence” Andrew whispered to the pokemon who advanced on the dragon. Andrew then approached Lucas once more, no longer worried that he could hurt latias. Andrew then got to the man.

“Are you ready to fight me?” the boy asked.

“Fight you, I’m going to kill you since you won’t oblige to telling me anything.” Lucas said. He brought his scythe down on the boy who parried it with his sword. The fight between the two raged on. Even though Andrew wore no armor, every blow that Lucas’ scythe landed seemed to not even leave a mark.

“You know a god way to respect your elders is to not try and kill them.” Lucas said as he blocked another powerful blow, this boy was unusually strong.

“Elder? Ha, I think not.” The boy said. “How old are you?” he asked, as a blow glanced of his arm.

“Older than you by far, but because your asking politely, I’m 31.” The man said
“Try 130 on for size.” The boy grinned. The man lost his focus for a second and was hit in the chest.
“There is no way you can be that old, you look to be only 13!” he said after he recovered and made another slash.

“Well you see, for most legendary pokemon, 10 years is equal to one human year.” A sly grin spread across the boys face. Andrew was now facing Lucas, his back to the sheer cliff. Lucas kicked him and he went flying over the edge into the water below.

Lucas looked over the edge and saw nothing, but then the water pulled away from the cliff side and formed one massive wave that moved slowly towards the island. In it Lucas saw a large blue whale with red markings going up and down its body and fins, its eyes glowing yellow.
------------
there are still two chapters left, but i'll post them when i get back

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Old March 24th, 2010 (01:56 AM).
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Quite a good story so far, keep it up. I love fics based on Latios and pokemon POVs.
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Old March 24th, 2010 (06:54 AM).
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Mwahaha. I love how the boy/pokemon took on the bad guy. I am left with one question, though, why was Lucas hunting him if he didn't know his secret? Hmm... Guess I'll have to wait to find out.
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Old March 26th, 2010 (04:07 PM).
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coooooooool!!!!!!! i have internet here! ok, lucas did know of the ability, thats why he was hunting Andrew, because he wanted the ability.
i will not be able to post anything accept for my own comments, sorry.
and thank you for the comment clivekoopa.
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Old March 28th, 2010 (11:26 AM).
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ok,i have not gotten any posts, sooooo, lets see if this works...

------------
CH. 17


<Why do you do this?> Typhlosion asked Salamence.

<The man treats me well.> it said as he deflected a fiery punch.

<you enjoy seeing others pokemon get killed?> Typhlosion continued.

<Actually I don't really care, it's gruesome but it means food.> Salamence said and launched an attack with its wings which Typhlosion nimbly dodged. The flaming pokemon made its whole body catch fire and was about to rush the dragon when a huge wave seemed to come from no where and crashed on top of him. Or so he thought.

He looked around and saw that he wasn't drowning but was in a large bubble of air. He could see two other similar bubbles, one holding latios' unmoving form and the other seemed empty, but there was a flicker and latias was there, her eyes glowing blue. He than looked at where Salamence had been and saw the pokemon being swept away by the wave.

To Typhlosion it seemed that as the wave left, winter came to the island. His bubble had dissipated, and he now wandered about. Instead of green grass on the ground, snow was there and melted where the pokemon stepped. Snow covered the palm trees and he looked off into the distance and saw that on the other islands the same had happened, instead of seeing the green canopy; he saw what looked like his home back west.

He looked closer at his surroundings and saw Andrew's sword, it was leaning against a rock. The pokemon went over to see the boy lying against the rock next to his sword, unconscious. Andrew suddenly woke up.

"Are latios and latias ok?" he asked.

<I don't know.> replied Typhlosion. The boy quickly got up, sheathed his sword and ran to where latias lay unconscious and shivering on the now snow covered ground.

"Bring latios over here." Andrew told Typhlosion who quickly obeyed. "Latios is bleeding from where he hit the rock and his burn hasn't healed, but other wise he's ok." Andrew said as he felt along the blue dragons' body and wings for broken bones.

<She is in much pain.> Typhlosion said as he stared at Latias. <She doesn't trust you, she thinks you left her to die in the fire> just then latias woke up.

<But you didn't, did you?> she said as if she had heard Typhlosion.

"No, no, of course not, we looked every where for you; latios even burnt his arm in the flames." Andrew said. Latios woke up just then also.

<Is he dead?> he asked. <Is Lucas dead?>

"Unfortunately not, he and his Salamence were swept away by my wave but not drowned." Andrew answered. "Next time we meet him though, he will be possessed by a power greater than any of ours." Just then Luni woke up too.

She looked up, <stop the world, I want to get off.> she said dizzily. Everyone laughed. She walked over to them like a drunk and collapsed. Umbreon suddenly appeared in her shadow.

<She's badly wounded> the black dog like pokemon said. Andrew now looked more closely at the young Lugia; he saw blood coming out her foot and one wing dangled limply at her side. Andrew felt for broken bones and found that her left wing was broken was bleeding heavily out her foot, where Salamence had bit before blasting her out of the sky.

<Looks like the doctors got a full house tonight.> latias said weakly, and Andrew got his bag and set to work.
--------------
i got it to work *dancing happily* yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old March 29th, 2010 (12:33 PM).
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Haha. Good chapter. And in response to my last question, I didn't mean his ability. I meant about him being legendary.
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♥ Dedicated to Justin, a guy I want to know much better ♥
☼You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile☼




Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
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Old March 29th, 2010 (01:53 PM).
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ah, that was a secret, but that wasnt why Lucas was hunting Andrew. Lucas just thought he was a kid with a power that he wanted.

i will now submit the next chapter.
---------
ch. 19

"Yes, my lord" Lucas said. "I understand" the man was staring into a large crevice in the ruins of a castle. A deep rumble came from the bowels of the crevice.

"Yes they will be killed, Mightyena!" Lucas shouted and a pack of black wolf like pokemon melted out of the shadows. A smirk fell across the mans face.

"Its time to go hunting." He said and the Mightyena howled and ran off into the night. Lucas silently followed.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Andrew looked up from his work. He was trying to soothe both latias' and Luni's bite marks.

"Someone is coming, we must hide." He said. The boy picked up latias and was able to get all the rest of the pokemon moving. They group was able to hide in the forest and nobody was seen. Andrew looked out from behind a palm tree just to see nothing.

He scanned the area and saw a black pokemon melt from the shadows as if it had never been there. It scented the area; it seemed to not notice that the large group was even there. It ran over to the bag of supplies, and pulled out a bottle of green liquid, potion. The pokemon than seemed to turn into a shadow itself. Nothing but a black shapeless and indistinguishable form. It moved quickly into the real shadows again and Andrew sensed that it was truly gone.

"The evil has arisen" Andrew said.

<What evil?> Luni asked tiredly. <I meant to ask earlier, but what are you?>
Everyone except Andrew looked at her like she was crazy.

<you can understand pokemon, and yet you are not one, at least you don't seem to be.>

"Well, I'll answer your first question first" Andrew sighed. All the pokemon listened intently; none of them knew what was going on.

"There is a prophecy," the boy said. "It states that a powerful being will defeat a great evil, only for a much more powerful one to arise, it will send horde after horde of wolf-like pokemon after the being." Andrew waited for this to sink in. The boy continued, "Nobody knows what this evil is, or how strong it really is, but that it will do anything to destroy the being."

<so Lucas was the first evil?"> Typhlosion asked thoughtfully.

"Yes, it seems so, and as to your second question Luni, follow me." Andrew said. He walked toward the ocean and dived in. The group followed and waited, but latias became worried after a few minutes.

"He has not come up for a while now" she said, and tried to go in after him.

"wait." Latios said and held his sister back. Luni and Umbreon were just staring intently into the waves. Then out of the water came a large whale. Latias and Luni were both shocked. Latias, that this was his true form, and Luni that she had been right about him not being human.

<All of you must rest now> the Kyogre said, <I will tend your to your wounds again.> the whale swam to relatively shallow water and there was a bright flash. In Kyogres place a sopping wet boy was standing, chest deep in the water.

"Well that was fun." He said with a laugh and shook his head. He swam back to shore and began to tend the pokemons' wound once more.

As he bandaged Luni's foot she asked him, <so you are the powerful being?>

"Yes, I guess I am" he said, and caught the first signs of spring in the air.
--------------
ok, i will also submit the rest of my other books as i type them. if you have guessed, the next book will be "dragons spring" and there will be four books total. i have already gone to ch.20 in dragons spring, so i will post the prologue and ch. 1 next.
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Old March 30th, 2010 (01:52 PM).
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Haha. I can't wait for the next book. If it's anything like this one, I have every reason to be excited.
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Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.
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♥ Dedicated to Justin, a guy I want to know much better ♥
☼You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile☼




Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis
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  #20    
Old March 31st, 2010 (01:34 AM).
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Hey there! I'm pretty new to this community - pretty much meaning, I just created my account yesterday - but I wanted to leave a review regardless. Hopefully it'll help in some way. I'll just start at the first chapter, if that's okay.

~

Quote:
It was a cold mid-winter afternoon as a Frosslass and her partner, a Glalie, entered the edge of a clearing where two dragons were looking for food.


To be honest this looks like a bit of a weak opening to me. While the mention of a 'cold mid-winter afternoon' is nice, I think the appearance of the froslass and the glalie could have been more striking. They're the bad guys in this, right? If they are, they should have some sort of threatening introduction, which would make the beginning of your story all the more exciting.

Also, I bolded and coloured some changes I would make. It's either a 'mid-winter afternoon' or a 'mid-winter's afternoon', since you're talking about possession there.

I would say 'a' froslass here, as 'the' has always sounded very specific to me. As if we've already been introduced to this froslass, which we haven't.

There should be a comma after glalie, because it's part of a segment that gives unnecessary information. It's a sentence structure that is very common and has its own set punctuation. Take these examples:

The queen, who had recently turned thirty, had no interest in their games.

The crowd, busy talking amongst themselves, paid no attention to him whatsoever.

Notice how the parts between commas are addition information that isn't necessary to create the sentence? If you let it out, you would still have a complete sentence. That's the aim of such a sentence, to share additional information. In this case 'a glalie' is giving additional information on who 'her partner' is, so it gets two commas and not one.

Now, onto 'were looking'. I'm not sure if you know what tenses a sentence can be in. (And I'm not just talking about past and present here.) That part of the sentence should have been in the past continuous. A past continuous refers to things that were happening at that specific time. Taking your situation as an example, they were looking for food right when the bad guys showed up. Otherwise you're implying that that is usually the place they look for food, but that they might not actually be there right now.

Quote:
One of the dragons, slightly smaller than the other, was red and white while the other was blue and white. Glalie fired its ice beam and the red dragon took a hit. She was almost instantly knocked out.


This is another example of additional information. As a result, it needs a comma. Now, I want to talk about the dragons here. I'm assuming you're talking about Latias and Latios? It can be easy to guess, but I'm still not entirely sure, so I would suggest describing them a bit more in-depth. It couldn't hurt and would make sure that we're not imagining some sort of fakemon you've created.

Now, I know they are doubly weak to ice moves, but you'd think legendaries would be able to endure at least one move before fainting. I'd also be wary of using legendaries like this, but that is your choice entirely.

Quote:
Right before Froslass could fire her attack a blast of flame shot at her from the other end of the clearing and right behind it came a Typhlosion.


I neglected to mention it earlier, because it's a very touchy subject and usually results in a lot of debating over right or wrong, but there's a bit of an issue with your capitalization of pokémon. Now, personally, I believe they're all common nouns - much like 'rat' or 'horse' - and shouldn't be capitalized, but that's something I'm not willing to debate.

What I do want to point out is that you should be consistent. If you start out calling them 'the Froslass' and 'a Glalie', then that should remain so. Don't switch halfway through.

Also, I believe there is only one 's' in the beginning part of froslass.

Quote:
There was a flash of light and in the pokemons’ place stood a boy who looked about thirteen.


I would use 'stood' instead of 'was', because he's replacing the pokémon, who was standing there. (By the way, I'm not sure if you're using windows, but you can probably get the é by combining ALT and 130 on your numberpad.)

Also, I've always been taught to write out numbers under a hundred. So 'thirteen', not '13'.

Quote:
The frosslass knew that he was trying to protect the two dragons. He had been protecting all dragons that the frosslass and her partner could find, but there were few in the winter.


Here's the capitalization problem again. Either only capitalize names - the frosslass was named Froslass - or capitalize all of it. Don't combine the two.

The last part of the sentence read a bit awkwardly, so I changed it a bit. You can choose to do whatever you want with it.

I do find this scenario a bit strange, though. Why would a young boy end up protecting creatures so much stronger than he is? Why would he even want to, when all the froslass and glalie are doing right now is attacking other wild animals? I'm assuming dragon pokémon eat meat as well, is he going to stop them from finding food? It seems wrong to meddle in the affairs of wild pokémon. So far the frosslass and glalie haven't been shown to do anything wrong, yet.

Quote:
The frosslass told her partner it was time to go and they left. The boy walked closer to the two dragons and noticed that one was encased in a block of ice.


That sentence needs an 'and', otherwise it's not complete. I do wonder about them giving up so soon, though. They're perfectly willing to attack strong, legendary dragon pokémon, but not a little boy and his fire pokémon? I understand they are weak to fire moves, but it still seems like the easy way out.

Quote:
What are you doing here?” asked a voice.


The boy didn’t seem to be very surprised. “I’m trying to help you,” he said. “Quilava, can you melt this ice with your ember?” The little pokemon nodded its head and went over to the red dragon's frozen form.


I quoted this entire section because almost all of it has to do with my explanation about punctuating speech. It's a tricky subject, but one that's very rewarding. If you get this right, then everything will look a lot better.

Now, first of all if someone - or in this case, something - is asking a question, then that gets a question mark and not a speech verb like 'said'. You don't say a question, you ask it, or you inquire, or something like that. So I wouldn't use 'said' here, though it's good that you're comfortable with using that verb. (Too many people treat said as if it's some dangerous disease that should be avoided.)

Now, the next bit is very important. It's about the standard way of punctuating speech. Here are some examples:

"Hello," she said.

"Hi," he answered.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Nothing." The boy crossed his arms.

Notice how, in the first two sentences, you get a comma and a lowercased word following it? That's because it involves speech verbs. Speech verbs are verbs that can show speech. (Whispered, suggested, asked, yelled, etc.) Not sound - because verbs such as 'snorted' don't really count as speech verbs - but speech.

So whenever you see a verb like that, it means it should get a comma and a lowercased word. Unless - and I stress this - you need another punctuation mark such as a question mark and an exclamation point. Then you get those instead of the comma, though the lowercase remains. (See the third sentence.)

The fourth sentence shows what happens when there's no speech verb involved. The verb 'crossed' is key here. You can't 'cross' a sentence. It's not related to speech at all. So, the two are separate sentences and you get a period/full-stop and a capitalized word after it.

There's a lot more to find out about this, but I'll keep it at this for now. If you're ever curious about other speech-punctuation rules, feel free to contact me. The rest of your story contains a lot of these errors, but you should be able to edit them now.

I also put a comma after 'Quilava'. This is because that's a case of direct address. You're directly addressing someone, in this case the quilava, and thus it gets a comma.

'Hello, Amy', for example, or 'Bye, son!'

Quote:
“She’s seriously injured. I live in a cabin not too far from here it will be warm and safe there.” The boy said.
'She's seriously injured' is a complete sentence. It is not connected to 'I live in...' and can stand on its own, so you shouldn't put a comma there. They're separate sentences, after all!

Too is one of those tricky words that a lot of people get wrong. Here you want 'too', not 'to', because you're looking for this definition:

–adverb1.in addition; also; furthermore; moreover: young, clever, and rich too.

2.to an excessive extent or degree; beyond what is desirable, fitting, or right: too sick to travel.

3.more, as specified, than should be: too near the fire.

4.(used as an affirmative to contradict a negative statement): I am too!

5.extremely; very: She wasn't too pleased with his behavior.



Quote:
She was quite large and heavy compared to the boy but he still picked her up and carried her with ease.


So he picked her up with ease and carried her all the way to his cabin? Well, I'm glad he gets his work-out, then.

Quote:
Despite the weight of the dragon in his arms Andrew ran swiftly between the trees.


Ehm, she weighs fourty kilos and is pretty cumbersome to carry. I doubt he could really run with it much, especially as a thirteen year old boy. You have to keep it realistic.

Quote:
He slowed down when he felt a slight movement in his arms. He looked down and saw that she had opened her eyes slightly.


This happens a lot in your story. You have to end a sentence when it's through, not simply add a comma or nothing at all. The sentence is finished after 'arms', so add a period/full-stop and move on.

~

General Comments.

All in all, this needs a lot of work. While I can see you're enjoying writing, it could be a lot better. I'll point out some things I think you could work on to make this even better than it already is.

Description.

You don't really have any. There are basic things, such as what colour the 'dragons' are, but that's about it. Try to imagine what is going on. What do their surroundings look like, or the weather? What is having an effect on the world surrounding your main character? What do the pokémon look like? Try to tell a story, don't just list things happening.

Take these examples:

1.
He woke up and got out of bed. Downstairs he ate his breakfast, then went to visit his neighbours. After he'd done that, he walked to the Pokémon Centre and picked up his injured pokémon.

2.
A young boy carefully opened his eyes as sunlight filtered through the window. His bed felt warm, quite comfortably so, but he knew that breakfast was waiting downstairs and that he had a busy day ahead of him. Following the scent of freshly baked bread, he hurried downstairs - past the dirty laundry he had yet to put away - and into the kitchen.

The weather looked promising as he slowly munched on his meal. Wispy clouds floated in a startling blue sky, promising nothing but sun and a gentle breeze. He was glad for it, because he'd never enjoyed being soaked to the bone by spring showers.

Finishing breakfast, he put his dirty dishes away and hurried out the door. Wind tugged at his dark brown hair ever so slightly, but he took no note as he dashed down the dusty path and towards his neighbour's house that stood basking in the sun.

Etc.

Notice the difference? These may not be the best examples, but the second one looks and sounds better, right? It's more of a story and not so much 'just telling us what happens'. Take your time writing and maybe give it a go?

Punctuation.

Your punctuation needs a bit of work. I've already explained some of them, but it would really help if you looked the basics up yourself, as well. Or, even better, get a beta and work on it together! A beta reader can be extremely useful and I'm sure you could find someone to help you out.

Plot.

Last but not least, I'm a bit worried about the plot. Now, I haven't read the other chapters yet, so maybe it gets really exciting, but right now it seems a bit flimsy. First of all, why are two pokémon randomly attacking two dragons? (Heck, what are ice-pokémon and dragons doing in the same area?) Why is there a boy protecting them, when it's just nature? Why are these legendaries so weak that they can't do anything themselves?

It also seems very convenient that two ice-times attack dragons - who have a weakness to them - and are then attacked by a fire pokémon, who they have a weakness to.

Also be careful not to turn your character into a Gary-Stu. If you don't know what that is, feel free to contact me!

~

Pwew, that was it. I know I ramble, but I really think you could make something of this. Good luck!

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  #21    
Old March 31st, 2010 (11:58 AM). Edited March 31st, 2010 by zapdos926.
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My God!!!!!! That was a really long post. Well, I made this thread in hope to get comments like that (I don't get alot on deviantart...). well now,
where you said Latias wrighs forty kilos, and that i should be realistic, yea 2 things.
1. she weighs 88pounds
2.it is realistic. if you read the rest of the story than you will find out why.

ok, about the plot: the part about the legendaries being attacked, it was a surprise attack and its winter, meaning: cold, meaning: dragons are weaker (and dragons have to eat during winter too, thats why they were out), the ice-types were hiding and attacked fom behind the bushes, Latias was instantly frozen, and Latios had no idea where the attack had come from. About the boy helping, who wouldnt? And it is winter, those two Lati's live in that area, and with winter comes snow, and with snow comes ice-type pokemon, thats why they are in the same area.

i will now post the prolugue and ch.1 of Dragns Spring.
-------------
Dragons Spring
-------------

Prologue

Legend says that a powerful being will rise and defeat a great evil with the blade “Cunamio”, meaning tidal eave, a blade that possesses the power to drown an enemy from the slightest scratch. After the evil is defeated, a greater more powerful evil will awaken and control the mind and body of the first. This can only travel in pure darkness and shadows. It can get dark pokemon to do its bidding at a thought. No one knows what this evil looks like or what it is, but this evil cannot be defeated only by blade but by the power of light. It cowers in fear of light and lives in the deepest bowels of the earth. It is said that it can all but put out the darkness, and as the days get longer and spring grows near it becomes weaker. This beast can never truly be killed, at least not yet, but it has been defeated before by a man who went by the name of Eni. Eni and his friend a Lucario were able to defeat the evil, but only by sacrificing themselves. After its master died, the blade, “Cunamio” disappeared until needed again when the evil once more becomes whole. The blade hides in the deepest crevice of the ocean, by the pits of lava where it was forged. When the evil arises once more the blade seeks a new master and floats off. . The carrier of the blade faces many dangers, betrayals and friendships; many are killed before they know that they have been chosen by the sword to defeat the evil. Shadows have always been dangerous places, anything could lurk in the darkness, lives have been lost in them, but they are especially dangerous for the one who carries the blade and the carriers friends, for the evil always searches for the perfect time to strike from the darkness…

Now as winter ends and spring begins, the evil awakes, ready to enshroud the planet in darkness before summer arrives.
-----------
Ch1

Andrew sat on the beach staring at the waves as they crashed against the shore. A dragon with a body that was top half white and bottom half red, and had a blue triangle on its chest and had golden eyes and a pentagon on her head lay on the boys lap. Behind him a dragon similar to the red one but blue and with red eyes and an oval on its head and a red triangle on its chest lay sleeping on the sand. A large pokemon lay next to the boy, it was white with blue spikes on its back, and tail, and around its eyes were blue diamonds.

The breeze whipped Andrew’s dirty blonde hair around his face.

The red dragon, latias, sighed. “I wish we could stay here forever” she thought to Andrew. The blue dragon, latios, stirred.

“It is nice here”, he sighed contently.

<I can stay here forever> the large white pokemon, a Lugia called Luni said. Andrew glared at her. <I didn’t mean to brag,> she said.

“I could stay here forever if I wished too, but I wont.” The boy said as latios floated next to him. Andrew began to rub the blue pokemons neck.

“Why not?” latias asked. Andrew unsheathed his sword, 'Cunamio'

“This sword is why; I learned the legend when I was very young.”

Andrew informed them. “It states that the bearer of the sword must fight the evil, that it chooses its bearer.” he continued, “that Mightyena we saw last month, it was sent by the evil.”

“How do you know this, it might have just been scavenging.” Latios said.

<It wasn’t just scavenging, I could smell its fear of something, darker and greater than it> a voice said. Andrew turned around to face the forest.

“Typhlosion!” Andrew greeted the tan and blue pokemon. “Did you find any food?” he asked.

<you’d be surprised at how many Swablu and Altaria live here, I got a lot of eggs.” The pokemon said.

<Eggs are good.> Luni said, <but I’m going to need, I don’t know, 3 Altaria, not just some eggs.> she said as Typhlosion laid the eggs on a large rock. Andrew gently pushed latias off his lap, sheathed Cunamio, and started to gather fire wood. After he had made a good sized pile, he called Typhlosion over.

“Let’s have some heat, shall we?” the boy said. Typhlosion let a jet of flame from its mouth and the wood instantly began to burn. “Thank you.” Andrew said and got a small pan out from his bag and cracked some eggs over it. All the pokemon looked at it disgustingly.

“I know all of you would rather have meat, so I'll be right back.” Andrew said and a small quiver appeared on his back, and he was suddenly holding a bow. He wandered into the woods.

<Be back before dark!> Luni called after him, < I get very hungry very quickly.> after he was gone she whispered <Umbreon, go with him, make sure he isn’t late.> a black doglike pokemon with yellow rings around its body materialized from her shadow.

<Yes my lady.> it said sarcastically and wandered into the shadows of the trees where it once again disappeared.

<I’m going to go swimming.> latios said and dove into the ocean.

<Wait for me!> latias said and dove in after her older brother.

<I’m guessing you’re going to jump in now?>Typhlosion asked Luni.

<no, my foot still hurts and when I crashed, I landed on my wing funny, so it hurts to fly and even more to swim.> she replied. <how about… wait, sorry stupid question, you’re a->

<a fire type, yes I know.> Typhlosion finished. <If I didn’t die from just being completely submerged, I would drown, I can’t swim and I don’t plan to learn.>

<So how did you meet Andrew?> Luni asked to change the subject.

<He saved me from a Feraligatr when I was just a little Cyndaquil, I made the bad choice of wandering to close to the river, and it decided to jump out at me.> Typhlosion said.

Luni nodded her head thoughtfully, and they just sat there watching the sunset and latios and latias chase each other through the waves. Latios then seemed to disappear. Luni was laying really close to the shore and she was suddenly hit in the face with salty spray. She loked at where the water had come from but nothing was there. Then there was a shimmer and latios was there, a childish grin on his face.

<I’m going to get you for that!> Luni laughed and splashed latios with her good wing from a small tide pool that she was close to.

<If there are going to be water wars, I’m going to just walk away.> Typhlosion said and backed off a few feet. <I can drink it I just can’t be hit by it>

Latias then appeared behind latios and splashed him in the face, for a moment he just stared stupidly then realized what had happened and began to chase her again. Andrew then walked out of the woods, a Stantler and two Altaria flung over his shoulder.

“Dinner time!” he called out and all the pokemon came to him, except for Luni who tried to getup but wobbled on her injured foot and collapsed.

“Its ok, I’ll bring the food to you, the Stantler is all yours.” He said and laid the deer like pokemon in front of her. That night they all feasted, but two more pairs of eyes watched them hungrily. They would be their meals soon enough, but now they melted into the shadows and ran off, they had business to do.
-------------
ok, i know there are probabl spelling, grammar and capitalization issues, but am jus copying and pasting this from a word file. i do edit some partsf it thogh, so enjoy.
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  #22    
Old April 1st, 2010 (04:19 AM).
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where you said Latias wrighs forty kilos, and that i should be realistic, yea 2 things.
1. she weighs 88pounds
2.it is realistic. if you read the rest of the story than you will find out why.
Ehm, yeah, 88 pounds equals about forty kilo. I'm not used to dealing with pounds, so I converted it for myself. It's the same weight.

So, basically, he's some sort of special kid with superpowers, or something? That isn't helping your cause any. In fact, it only makes it worse. Instead of having a kid who makes light of something that should be very difficult, you have a kid with superpowers who is amazingly strong. That's not good.

Quote:
ok, about the plot: the part about the legendaries being attacked, it was a surprise attack and its winter, meaning: cold, meaning: dragons are weaker (and dragons have to eat during winter too, thats why they were out), the ice-types were hiding and attacked fom behind the bushes, Latias was instantly frozen, and Latios had no idea where the attack had come from. About the boy helping, who wouldnt? And it is winter, those two Lati's live in that area, and with winter comes snow, and with snow comes ice-type pokemon, thats why they are in the same area.
First of all, if you have to explain this to me outside of your story, then it's clear that you should edit the initial chapter. It's obvious that what you intended to portray isn't clear, because otherwise I would have seen it in the first place.

Second, this still doesn't explain half of the things I mentioned. Legendaries being in cold surroundings - it must have been really cold, which you didn't really talk about - doesn't make them incompetent. They would still be legendaries.

Who wouldn't help? Is he going to keep the dragon pokémon from attacking other pokémon for food, then? They'd need to eat, right? Also, his pokémon, did he attack any to catch them? Does he think that nature works only for those he likes? It's very typical of people to be completely okay with their favourites attacking other pokémon, but not others attacking their favourites. Why shouldn't the ice-pokémon attack the dragons? It's nature, what's wrong with that?
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  #23    
Old April 1st, 2010 (01:53 PM). Edited April 1st, 2010 by zapdos926.
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
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^(not Krystalin) holy crap! The kid isn't even human!

To everything else, I have nothing to say...


an new for chapter two...
--------

CH.2

Lucas approached the chasm. “My lord, scouts have found where the boy and his companions are,” he said, “Do we have permission to kill?” a deep rumble resounded from the deepest corners of the pit.

“Yes my lord, but they are ready for blood, they are becoming restless.” The man said. A louder seemingly angrier rumble came from within. “Yes, I completely understand my lord. Salamence, its time to fly.” the man said with a frown. A light blue dragon with large red wings came from the darkness, and Lucas jumped onto its back. The large dragon crawled out of the cave, and began to fly. As he flew Honchkrow and Murkrow joined him. At least 400 of the bird like pokemon flew with him to the island just west of the island where he once kept his armies. The boy would be completely unsuspecting of the assault.

- - - - - - - - - - -

As Latias looked out over the ocean she noticed a swarm of black dots approaching the island.

<What are those?> she asked Andrew in her dialect. It would take some getting used to though.

“Well I can tell you this much, they’re not Wingull.” He said, a slight amount of fear in his voice which worried all of his companions, he was never scared.
<What’s wrong?> Typhlosion asked, smelling more than seeing the boys fear.

“The reason I was not harmed while fighting last month, was because they were using human made swords. I can only be wounded by one of their weapons here” Andrew explained and motioned to his chest, none of the pokemon had known this.

“But those pokemon are here to kill or capture, I can be wounded any where by a pokemon.” He shuddered as if a bad memory had returned to him.

<Those black dots are getting closer> Umbreon noted. Andrew nodded.

“Luni, can you fight?” the boy asked.

<Of course, just because I cant move doesn’t mean I can’t attack.> she replied as though it was obvious.

“Ok, well the every one prepare for a large fight.” Andrew said shakily, and drew Cunamio. The pokemon all nodded and prepared for a battle. The flock of what seemed to be Murkrow and Honchkrow now approached. The flock of birds all dive bombed the travelers at the same time. Five Honchkrow and a massive group of Murkrow attacked Andrew. In a flurry of twists and slashes, all of the birds fell to the ground some of them seemingly untouched others decapitated. Latios and Latias were fighting back to back, slashing at the black birds with sharp claws, and occasionally letting a beam of light loose from their mouths. Typhlosion was fighting with Luni, he toasting 10 to 20 at a time and Luni knocking large groups to the ground and then obliterating them with a blast from her mouth. Umbreon letting bits of dark energy burst from his mouth.

Latios and Latias’ eyes suddenly began to glow, the sky darkened and a group of meteors colored blue, purple, red and every color in between fell from the sky. Andrew barely avoided being hit by one and jumped out of the way just as one hit the ground. Each time a meteor came it took out at least twenty of the Honchkrow and Murkrow at once. The two dragons’ eyes stopped glowing and the meteors both in the sky and on the ground disappeared. By the time the meteor storm was over, one lone Murkrow was left, which Typhlosion quickly burnt to a crisp. The last thing in the sky Andrew saw was a man atop a Salamence flying away.

“What was that?!” Andrew asked the two dragons, who looked as startled at the meteor shower and new found power as the rest of the group did.

<I have no idea> they said in unison.

“Well next time watch where they land, I was almost crushed!” Andrew said with a laugh. Latios noticed a large cut across the boys arm and shoulder that was bleeding.

“You’re hurt.” Latios said deep concern in his voice.

“I’m thankful for your worry, but right now I’m more worried about you.” Andrew said as he noticed a scratch also stretching along Typhlosions chest, and a cut that ran the length of latios’ neck on the blue and white dragon. Luni, Umbreon and Latias didn’t seem hurt.

“Both of you come here.” Andrew motioned towards Latios and Typhlosion, who obeyed. The boy examined the scratch on Typhlosions chest.

“Well, it’s not bleeding and it’s not deep.” Andrew said. He then looked at Latios’ wound; when he lifted his hands his finger tips were sticky with blood. He also looked at the blue dragons back.

“Well, you seem to more badly wounded, than Typhlosion, but you’ll be fine.” Andrew said a look of relief on his face. Andrew then called Latias over and examined her neck, checking to make sure that a previous wound hadn’t re-opened. The boy went to his pack and pulled out a small jar containing green liquid. Andre opened the jar and rubbed some of the potion on Latios’ neck, then Typhlosions scratch, then his own wound.

<Is anyone else as hungry as I am?> Umbreon asked. The group just stared at him and then burst out laughing at the extremely random comment.

<Wow, that sounds like something I would say.> Luni sighed after calming down.

“Looks like I’m going hunting again.” Andrew said and was once again holding his bow and the quiver was around his neck once more. He wandered into the woods, but this time Luni didn’t send Umbreon with him, she had fallen asleep. Typhlosion built another fire since the first one was put out by a meteor. He then just sat there, staring intently into the flames.

<What are you looking at?> latios asked. Typhlosion jumped and latios smiled.

<Sorry if I startled you.> he said with a laugh. The blue dragon settled on his back claws and stared at the flames.

<I can see things that will happen in the future, or have happened in the past in flames.> Typhlosion said. Latios looked at him in disbelief. <The images are very brief, but I can see a full hour of something in 3 seconds.> he continued.

<so what are you seeing right now?> latios asked, curiosity and fascination in his voice.

<I see pain, and suffering, I can see us, our group, enjoying ourselves.>Typhlosion said as if hypnotized, his voice dull. <someone is dieing now, I can’t tell who though. Andrew is talking to you now, very seriously, something bad has happened.> Typhlosion finished. He looked at Latios who was staring at him thoughtfully.

<It’s an interesting ability, does Andrew know about it?>

Typhlosion looked down, <no,> he said. < I have seen horrible images, of him dieing, of him killing, I have seen him when he was young, not yet with his power, being thrashed by someone larger than he.>. Night had fallen and Latias and Umbreon were curled up by the fire and had since fallen asleep.

“Can you use telepathy, I don’t want to wake them” latios thought to him and motioned to the two pokemon. To Latios’ surprise, Typhlosion answered in thought.

“Yes.” Typhlosion replied. “Not very good though, very hard for me.” He continued. Just then Latios yawned.

“I’m very tired.” He said and lie down next to the fire, head under his wing and began to snore softly. Typhlosion knew that he should probably keep watch since he was still awake. The soft breathing of the pokemon around him made him tired; he tossed a few more onto the fire and fell into a deep sleep, sitting upright. About an hour later Andrew returned.

“These things are so hard to find at night but easy to kill.” He muttered to himself as he approached the fire with 3 Stantler across his shoulders. He lay the three pokemon down and noticed that his companions had all fallen asleep. He noticed Typhlosion was grunting in his sleep, he was having a nightmare. He patted the pokemon on the back a few times and Typhlosion stopped. Andrew wandered to the rest of his companions. He rubbed latias’ neck for a second and she flinched when he toughed one of the tooth marks in her neck but quickly relaxed again. He moved all the dead Honchkrow and Murkrow to the forest and lay down by the fire after putting some blankets over all the pokemon and lay one down for him to sleep on. He soon fell into a deep dreamless slumber.
- - - - - - - - - - -
“Our attack didn’t work out as planned, my lord.” Lucas said trying to hide his fear. He knew the punishment for incompetence was brutal. A calm roar came from deep within the chasm.

“Yes my lord, I will accompany them once morning comes, I would like to take part in the killing of the boy, your world of darkness will soon arrive.” Another roar came from within. A large group of 200 Mightyena came out of the shadows. They followed Lucas out into the night, Salamence keeping any stragglers with the group. Once they exited the cave a group of 100 black Gallade came from either side of the entrance. The large group waited for about 10 minutes and another flock of about 300 Honchkrow came from the sky followed by about 20 black and silver Dragonite, each carrying two large baskets to transport the large group of pokemon. Lucas rode in front on his Salamence and the Honchkrow flanked the transport Dragonite on all sides. As the large group flew into the night Lucas knew it would take more than this to get any information out of the boy.
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  #24    
Old April 4th, 2010 (01:28 PM).
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zapdos926 zapdos926 is offline
I'm secretly a typhlosion, shh
 
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jeez, i atleast get one comment in three days... oh well

here is ch. 3, this one is kind of sad, beware...
-----------
ch.3

As Andrew woke up he noticed something was wrong. No birds were calling, there was no rustling on the forest floor, and everything was unusually still. Andrew knew what this meant; every time they came nothing moved or made a sound.

“Wake up, they’re here” Andrew said to his companions. One by one they slowly woke up, starting with Umbreon and ending in Typhlosion. There was a flash of light and Andrew was no longer standing there. In his place was a long green dragon with black and yellow eyes, and a stream lined body. Typhlosion quickly climbed onto its back. Luni still could not fly or walk so Andrew helped her onto his back as well. Umbreon rode on latios and the group took off. Once again, just as the group took off, a group of pokemon, Gallade came out of the forest. But these Gallade were much different then any others Andrew had ever seen. These ones were black where they should be green and grey where they should be white. All of them had a strap around its shoulders holding 30 throwing knives each. One of them even had a couple of small throwing axes. Out of the trees then came a large flock of Honchkrow, and only Honchkrow.

Andrew looked at Typhlosion with one yellow eye and the blue and tan pokemon understood. The Rayquaza knocked at least 50 out with his large tail and Typhlosion toasted another 50 with a flame larger than any he had ever produced. Andrew let loose a powerful hyper beam which cut through the ranks of Honchkrow, incinerating at least 100 of the birds.

<Flee!> he roared to latios and latias, who reluctantly obeyed and flew off too a near isle. Andrew was still being swarmed by Honchkrow, and throwing knives started whistling past his head. Typhlosion was doing his best to keep the black birds away, but couldn’t get enough. The black pokemon repeatedly dive bombed them. Typhlosion suddenly burst into flame, the heat was so intense that Andrew flinched even through his Rayquaza forms’ thick skin. Every Honchkrow that came within 10 feet of Andrew instantly caught fire and plummeted, sometimes taking other Honchkrow with it, sometimes catching a Gallade on fire as well. Luni was only kept alive by her own small amount of power to create a personal defensive shield. Eventually all the Honchkrow were gone, but there were still at least 50 Gallade left, and Typhlosion was too weak after his flame fest to do anything else.

An ax came whistling past his head, and then a barrage of knives. Then another group of 20 Gallade came out of the trees, each holding a bow, and a quiver around its neck. The arrows were already knocked and the projectiles kept on missing him by only a foot. Then another barrage of projectiles, this time axes only came at him. He managed to evade almost all of them without his passengers falling off, but Andrew heard a grunt of pain from his back and looked back with one eye. Typhlosion had been hit in the back with an axe, and was starting to fall off.

<Luni!> he yelled and the young Lugia caught the pokemon by the skin of his neck.

<I’ve got him!> she yelled back slightly muffled by the pokemon in her mouth. Andrew quickly flew off in the direction that latios and latias had gone. He finally saw a small island and the two dragons and Umbreon were staring at the sky, waiting for him. Andrew landed, gently got Luni and Typhlosion off and in a flash of light, Andrew was back in his human form. Umbreon looked closer at Typhlosion, who hadn’t moved since Andrew had set him down and saw the small axe wedged in his back.

<Not good.> he said blankly. Latios and Latias followed the doglike pokemons gaze and saw what wasn’t good.

<oh no!> Latias said, shock and despair in her voice. Latios just stared at the axe in Typhlosions back. Andrew immediately went to work on the small axe. It was wedged in relatively tightly, for them flying, and the Gallade standing still. Andrew was finally able to get the axe out of Typhlosions back. he quickly inspected the tip and found that it wasn’t poisoned. Andrew felt along the blue and tan pokemons side and found two ribs that had seemingly been cut in half from the axe. When Andrew gently pushed in on one of the ribs to see if it had damaged anything vital Typhlosion opened his eyes in pain.

<My stomach!> he yelled and lay back down breathing hard.

“Sorry, sorry” Andrew said. “Are you breathing ok?” he asked when he saw that the right side of his chest seemed to rising higher then the left when he breathed.

<Hard-to-breath> he muttered and coughed up blood.

“One of his lungs isn’t working.” Andrew said a deep sadness in his voice.

<He’ll be ok.> latias said, hoping to make him feel a bit better.

“No, he wont, this has happened before.” Andrew said quietly. “I was trying to help a young Articuno; it had accidentally been shot with an arrow, through its chest. Suddenly he was reliving the moment, but his friends were still with him, he didn’t know how he was doing it so he just watched what had happened 10 years ago unfold in front of his eyes once more.

He saw the young Articuno, lying on its side, an arrow in its chest. He saw himself then trying to pull the arrow out of its chest, but it wouldn’t budge. When he finally got the arrow out, the beautiful blue feathers that the bird had were stained a dark red, and one side of its chest wasn’t moving. Andrew now looked into the bird’s eye, which were saying thank you in the best way it could. But he bird was looking at the past version of the boy. The young Articunos’ eyes closed, and it took its last breath. Then they were back on the island. Typhlosion was still breathing, heavily, but breathing. Latios and latias wore extremely sad expressions. Luni looked horrified, and Umbreon showed no emotion what so ever.

“I don’t want that to happen again, but I can only delay the inevitable.” Andrew said. “He will die, no matter what I do.” The boy started sobbing.

<You can’t- save everyone.> Typhlosion gasped. He was still lying on his stomach, but he was talking. <You saved me all those years ago, when I was small, and I never got- to truly thank- you> the dieing pokemon continued. <so now, thank you, for everything. You were the best friend- I could have ever had.> Typhlosion closed his eyes, never to open them again. Latias had begun to cry also, Latios had remained to keep his posture, and bowed his head, Umbreon still showed no emotion, but he too bowed his head.

<He cared a lot about you.> Luni said. She too began crying. Andrew sat next to Typhlosion holding the body of his friend and cried, he then reached around Typhlosions neck and he removed a small pendant from around his neck. Nobody had known about the pendant, and they were surprised that it had gone unnoticed by all of them for more than a month. Andrew wrapped his hand around the pendant. It was gleaming silver, and had one yellow gem in the middle. Latias went to the boy and hugged him. He gently pushed her away and rubbed his eyes.

Andrew put the pendant in his bag, and there was a flash of light and there was a Sand slash in his place. The small pokemon began digging a hole and when he was done, he turned back into a human form and picked up his friend. He then set the corpse into the hole.

“You stayed with me through thick and thin, and you defended me when needed, we helped each other...” Andrew trailed off. He began to fill the hole with his hands. He then took a bag from his pack and opened it. It was filled with seeds which he proceeded to plant into the ground. As soon as the seeds were planted flowers sprouted into full bloom. When all the seeds were planted, they were in the exact shape and color of Typhlosion.

It was latios’ turn to cry. They had become friends in the short period of time he knew him. A small tear came from his eye but no more.

“May the tied never wash you away.” Andrew said and a small wave crashed over the flowers but didn’t actually hit them. The water seemed to roll over the flowers like a shield was over top of them. Andrew, satisfied, walked into the woods. His companions knew he hadn’t gone hunting, but they just sat in silence around the grave of their lost friend. Dark eyes were again watching them, but Andrew had sneaked up behind the intruder without him noticing. The intruder was a Gallade, and it was equipped with throwing axes. Andrew plunged his sword through its chest.

“These are personal matters, you neednt be here.” He said angrily.

<Your friend is dead, who will you trust now?> the black and grey pokemon said slyly and crumpled to the ground.

About an hour later Andrew came back to the beach to find his friends sleeping in a circle around Typhlosions grave. Luni was the first to wake.

“It’s my fault he died; if I had told him to leave all those years ago he would still be alive.” Andrew said to her which startled the young Lugia since his back was turned to her.

<No, it’s your fault he lived as long as he did.> she said. <If you hadn’t saved him from that Feraligatr all those years ago he would have died then.> Andrew jumped, he had apparently been talking to himself.

“He told you?” he said, slightly surprised.

<yes, he was more grateful then you know. He believed he owed his life to you.> Luni continued.

“Well, that would mean I am in charge of keeping him alive.” Andrew said angrily, his back still turned.

<you heard what he said, ‘you can’t save everyone’.” Luni said.

“No, but I can always try.” Andrew said and his shoulders started shaking and he began once more to cry.

<You did your best to save him, you were his best friend.> latias said as she woke up. She floated up and once more tried to comfort him. This time Andrew didn’t push her away.
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  #25    
Old April 7th, 2010 (10:16 AM).
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Krystallyn Krystallyn is offline
☼ ♥You make me smile♥ ☼
 
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Aww... Sweet chapter. I cried. Haha. Don't tell.
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♥ Dedicated to Justin, a guy I want to know much better ♥
☼You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
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Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile☼




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