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  #201    
Old May 4th, 2011 (06:10 PM).
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Then you could still use your idea.

Or for another idea, have some medicine in a different place that the nurse needs, and it's Paul who offers to go get it. That way, it's not completely like what happened in the show when they were at Viridian City. (Since there is an episode where medicine had to be transferred by Ash and friends.)
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Old May 4th, 2011 (06:20 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Konekodemon:
And my point is I'm trying to show readers that deep down inside even though Paul can be a jerk sometimes, he does really care about people and Pokemon.
There's definitely alternate ways of doing this, yes. Part of his training methods within the show imply that he actually cares about his Pokémon (which is why the stronger ones like Torterra put up with him); it's just that he doesn't have much patience with anything he thinks is needy (like Chimchar). It might be a good idea to ask yourself how what he does now (in canon) shows what he thinks about Pokémon and then go from there, rather than explore an idea that might sound a bit on the it's-been-done side. (I mean, sure, you just went over the fact that Team Rocket isn't attacking the center, but the entire "loss of power + sick patients = bad times" isn't exactly a new idea in general. You'll also avoid making him seem softer than he really is while forcing the reader to look at what he does on the show in a completely different light -- because you're basically showing the Paul we've been seeing, rather than a secret Paul we've never met, if that makes sense.)
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  #203    
Old May 4th, 2011 (07:47 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Astinus:
Then you could still use your idea.

Or for another idea, have some medicine in a different place that the nurse needs, and it's Paul who offers to go get it. That way, it's not completely like what happened in the show when they were at Viridian City. (Since there is an episode where medicine had to be transferred by Ash and friends.)
That's a good idea. And what if it wasn't a Pokemon but actually Kairi that was hurt. You never see humans being hurt very badly on Pokemon.
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  #204    
Old May 4th, 2011 (09:26 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Konekodemon:
I'm confused about my Pokemon Adventures story. I don't know what should happen when Paul and Kairi get to the Viridian City Pokemon center. I don't want it to be what happened on the show. My sister suggested that the Center loses power and there's a Pokemon that's real sick and could die if power isn't returned soon. And Kairi and Paul help Nurse Joy treat it. Is that a good idea? Would Paul really do something like this?
No. Personally, I don't think so. Paul is so apathetic that he'd probably just say 'Well, if it's so weak that it gets sick/injured so easily, it's not worth saving.' Remember, that's his logic - if it's not strong, give it the boot.

Regardless, it could be a good opportunity for a little character development - even if he doesn't end up helping to save the Pokemon, he could be forced to think a little bit about how he treats other people and Pokemon.
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  #205    
Old May 4th, 2011 (09:33 PM).
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Just remember to keep Jax's advice in mind. Like I said, the transferring of medicine has been done before, like the power being cut from the Center. If you're worried about doing something that's been done before, then perhaps Paul getting the medicine for a Pokemon or for a human wouldn't be the best way to go.

I can't believe that I skipped over this advice, but take a look at Paul through the course of the anime. Figure out which stage of his character you want to write about (him as a possible abusive trainer? Or later, when his character is more understood?) and take a look at how the anime writers handle him. That way, you'll understand the basis of his character and use that to explore him even deeper in your story.

So ask yourself if the Paul you're writing about is at the stage where he's willing to help someone who got hurt, especially if Kairi got hurt through her own fault (because that will make her seem "weak" in his eyes). If he does decide to help her, then work out the reasons why he will through what you know about his character from the show and through what you could add in your story. Like, why would he change an important part of his personality to help this girl? Make sure the reason's a believable one for Paul to use, because you don't want to treat Kairi like she's so special Paul will completely change for her.

So, I'll say study Paul in the anime. Look at how he treats the other characters in the show and how he acts. Everything about him that you can see. That way, as was said, you'll be giving more insight into the Paul character that readers are used to from the anime, not a new character who looks like Paul but isn't really him.
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  #206    
Old May 5th, 2011 (06:27 AM).
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But what if it wasn't Kairi's own fault she got hurt? What if it was Paul's fault she got hurt? Then he'd probably help her cause he'd feel guilty about it.
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  #207    
Old May 5th, 2011 (09:28 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Konekodemon:
But what if it wasn't Kairi's own fault she got hurt? What if it was Paul's fault she got hurt? Then he'd probably help her cause he'd feel guilty about it.
I would still think Paul might see her as weak and not admit it's his fault. Again, with that kind of situation you don't want to make it seem as if Paul will completely change for her, as Astinus said.
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  #208    
Old May 5th, 2011 (02:16 PM).
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I think its one of those situations where he'd help if there's no one else around to help but he wouldn't like it and would complain about it later.
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  #209    
Old May 5th, 2011 (02:53 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Konekodemon:
I think its one of those situations where he'd help if there's no one else around to help but he wouldn't like it and would complain about it later.
I'm going to be blunt and say just write it however you want, Koneko. Four different people have offered tips about characterization. If you're going to reply by telling us that you're going to make it work despite what we say we know about Paul (and incidentally, there's no evidence in the anime that would say he would act any differently if no one was around), then you probably won't get much out of this thread. :/
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  #210    
Old May 21st, 2011 (05:22 PM).
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Hey everyone, this section is for our own creations so I would like to share my most recent one! I just recently got my second book published this month, Drylor The First Artifact. It is about a man that suffers amnesia and as he slowly regains his memory he finds out that his brother has gone hay-wire and has started killing mass amounts of innocent people. Drylor The First Artifact is my second book but the very first I've wrote in the fantasy genre.

I'd like some opinions on what everyone thinks about it so below is what the back of the book says, I am curious if it perks your interests at all and if you saw it in a store if you would pick it up and buy it or put it back on the shelf.

When a man wakes up inside a cage that is being carried through
an underground city, he has no idea where he is or what has
happened to him. As Von, a victim of amnesia, is taken to a jail
cell to await his fate amongst elves, humans, dwarfs, gnomes, and
halflings, he is told he is a member of the Royal Guard of Genisus.
It is not long before he is transported to the palace where he
meets an impatient king who eventually returns him to his jail
cell while deciding his destiny.

As Von’s memory slowly returns, he discovers that he is the only
one who can protect Drylor—a world that abandoned him—
from its greatest evil, his own brother. Through his journey to the
truth, Von meets an unlikely group of friends who are willing
to sacrifice everything to help him stop his brother Scarlet
from annihilating the only world they have ever known.

As Von’s past becomes clear and reveals his future, he soon
realizes the only way he can end his brother’s heartless
massacres is to find him and kill him.
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  #211    
Old May 21st, 2011 (05:54 PM).
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Is this fully written or not? You say that it's published, but would still like opinions on how the plot sounds. So I'm not sure if you're actually looking for opinions on the plot to change it, or if you're just advertising your book to gain readers. Because on a quick Google search, it seems like you're just joining every forum that you can, posting a thread like this, and then leaving.

Still, plot ideas go into the Plot Bunny thread, so this will be moved over there.
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  #212    
Old June 3rd, 2011 (07:58 AM).
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Quote originally posted by JX Valentine:
I'm going to be blunt and say just write it however you want, Koneko. Four different people have offered tips about characterization. If you're going to reply by telling us that you're going to make it work despite what we say we know about Paul (and incidentally, there's no evidence in the anime that would say he would act any differently if no one was around), then you probably won't get much out of this thread. :/
But, I am. I'm just saying what I think as well.
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  #213    
Old June 3rd, 2011 (03:05 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Konekodemon:
But, I am. I'm just saying what I think as well.
And that would be fine. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions about different characters.

However, your original question was asking whether or not your ideas would work. People are answering that question by telling you things that you should watch out for in order to make it work. (Namely, they're saying that Paul isn't like this in canon and that there's no reason to believe he would act any differently off the camera compared to how he acts on. Because of that, it probably won't work, especially because Paul is a very recognizable and popular character with a personality a lot of fans are familiar with.) Your opinions are stating that you'll make the fic work despite the advice people are giving you. Therefore, there doesn't seem to be much else we can tell you because the way Paul is written is pretty much the one thing that could make or break your idea. So, yeah, you might as well just write it however you feel like tackling it.
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  #214    
Old June 4th, 2011 (04:38 PM).
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I've been writing Fan Fiction for almost two years now. But I've never written a Pokemon story, but I just got an idea for a Pokemon and Kim Possible crossover story. Does this sound like a stupid idea please tell me?
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Old June 4th, 2011 (04:48 PM).
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Merging with the Plot Bunny thread as that's where fic idea feedback and all ought to go.

On paper it could be a good fic but it's really hard to say any more than that due to the lack of information. =p (E.g. would it be done seriously or as a comedy, what format would it be (one shot, chaptered, etc) and so forth - stuff mentioned in the first post really). Depends how you go about it really.
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Old June 4th, 2011 (05:29 PM).
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I plan on it being a chapter story with some comedy and drama elements.
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Old June 4th, 2011 (06:23 PM).
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But how do the two worlds cross together and what does the actual plot entail? I'll admit that I've written my own crossovers just because I wanted to see the two canons collide, but only one of them actually works for two reasons: I can get the characters together easily, and there a plot to go along with it.

How would Kim Possible and the Pokemon world cross together? I'm very foggy on Kim Possible canon, so... But I mean you could write absolute crack fic and just have KP wake up to find Pokemon everywhere, and her mission is to find out why. Or something like that.

Take your crossover idea as "What would happen if Kim Possible and Pokemon were combined?" and go from there. Come up with stories and situations for the characters to get involved in and have to resolve. Then once you have a plot in mind, you can ask us how it'll work. Because right now we don't have any information because really, any crossover can possibly work.
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Old June 4th, 2011 (09:19 PM). Edited June 4th, 2011 by YungKnowledge.
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I really thinking about really using her brothers as the main characters. Seeing that they are tech wizs. I was going to have them find a dsi laying around that has a copy Heart Gold in it. They are going to play for a little while and then get bored with it. So then they will decide to bring a Pokemon to life. Then that when Kim Possible would come into play.
Because they bring to life HO-HO and its cause havoc in Middleton.


Thanks you guys for the feedback. It really is helping.
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Old June 5th, 2011 (04:31 PM). Edited June 5th, 2011 by xMaksy.
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Start: My Life Story

Around a month ago, I had a due date for a form for a course I picked for my next school year, Co-op Education. I went serious on the 3 choices I put on my form, since I was going to be interviewed soon. I picked Animator, Screenwriter, and Music Video Editor.

I make flash animations with Maplestory characters, thanks to the character simulator, Bannedstory, and I have been since I turned 12. I wish to get a career that benefits me as a person, and as a Maplestory movie maker. That's why I broke it into the specific careers above.

All my life, I was trying to express my imagination to the world. I noticed after I overheard my mom talking to someone a few years ago. Even before making maple videos, I've been doing childish things, such as making the first chapter of a novel (Monster Mysteries :3 ).

I have a wild imagination, and it builds up every time I'm alone or taking stroll outside. It's because of this that I decided screenwriting. I wish to express my imagination through creating the screenplays to shows and stuff.

-----------
That's where this forum post comes from. The best way to start a career is to get experience prior to actually having one. It started with these stories I do in English. I've never left 9/10s since the beginning of the semester, and I've been getting 10/10s ever since my first 10/10. (Coincidentally the first 10/10 happened after my Co-op form) :D

Currently, I'm auditioning for a community production team on youtube, who make Maplestory videos. I'm giving myself a two week deadline from yesterday to make a video idea that I will never be able to animate myself.

Now we get to the point of the forum post.

End: My Life Story

------------
I had a secondary pokemon series in mind, but I know I will never get anywhere with it in my head, so I'm going to start a fan-fiction. It's based on a slightly older audience than the Ash&Pikachu trilogy, a rating of about 14+. I thought of it this way, because a big population of pokemon fans are only fans of the games, because the show today is too "corny". It seems like a genius idea, because the pokemon world is very well known, and an older audience is all you need for bigger production.

-----
My series starts with a 15 year old boy, along with an Emolga. A new technology has been developed, and it's been in production as a civilization project for pokemon. The technology is a device that allows pokemon to speak the human language. It had to be safely tested, so only select pokemon get to try it. Only one thing was missing, they needed a normal pokemon to try it out, and not some G.I. Joe trained professional.

The boy turns 16, and he's desperate to get some worth in his life. He decides to take his childhood friends, Emolga and two other humans - male and female - on a journey. Their local professor felt these were the perfect people to take the test, especially since they were 16. (The female would most likely seem to still be 15)

The boy is already in possession of Emolga, so he just had to receive his pokeball. The other two get their starters. They then get introduced to the new technology, and their pokemon were taken to the lab and technical work was done to be able to speak. The characters get funny feelings when they first experience conversations with talking pokemon. :D

Here's where the higher rating comes in; before they start their journey, a secret organization raids the lab. (I thought it would be nice to have one of the antagonists as a dewott with dual razor shells. He could dress like a mix of the new Team Rocket designs and Cad Bane from Star Wars: The Clone Wars.)

The evil organization wishes to use the same technology used to give pokemon the human language, to control their minds. They cause a mini war at the lab, and the characters get caught in it.

Once it's over, and the pokemon at the lab protect themselves, the protagonists begin their journey. (Other than emolgas, grovyles are my second favorite pokemon, so I gave this part to him) The heroes are required to take a highly skilled grovyle with them, so they can be protected from ambushes like the previous one. (Grovyle would eventually take ownership of the main character)

The heroes then become vulnerable targets, considering they are travelling. This creates the conflict you see throughout the series.

As Emolga finally polishes his battle skills, the heroes meet, catch and train other pokemon, while at the same time, fend themselves from the evil forces that try to abduct their pokemon for research.

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention; what if I said that Emolga, Grovyle, and such talking pokemon were wearing clothes. It would make more sense to me that with civilization, comes society.

------
Tell me what you think about this series. I'm sorry for too much about myself, but I'd thought it would be nice to tell everyone about myself before I get started on my objective.
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Old June 5th, 2011 (05:06 PM).
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I'll move this to the Plot Bunny thread if you want feedback on the story summary then.

A few thoughts that came to mind when glancing over the summary:
Quote:
Only one thing was missing, they needed a normal pokemon to try it out, and not some G.I. Joe trained professional.
Why is this, curiously? That, and
Quote:
Their local professor felt these were the perfect people to take the test, especially since they were 16. (The female would most likely seem to still be 15)
That seems rather... odd that they're especially good because they are 16 (which sounds a bit creepy) - why this age?
Quote:
The evil organization wishes to use the same technology used to give pokemon the human language, to control their minds.
I also wonder if the technology before this happened had any sort of mine control in it or just simply interpreted their 'language' to english... that and what makes up this organisation - just dewotts dressed up as TR for an unknown reason or people as well, etc? Also why are the protagonists allowed to leave like that and leave themselves open to further attacks instead of, say, the lab people contacting the police for protection?
Quote:
Oh yeah! I forgot to mention; what if I said that Emolga, Grovyle, and such talking pokemon were wearing clothes. It would make more sense to me that with civilization, comes society
This is also confusing - what does the technology actually do then? At first I thought it would allow them to speak english and I'm not sure how that necessarily jumps into making them 'civilised' (and arguably they already have their own 'language' in some canons) and hence why they'd want to wear clothes as well. Sounds rather vague and confusing - I'd suggest considering more on what this exactly does and how it works (you'd have to be able to make it seem realistic if you went with them wanting to wear clothes imo as it seems a bit hard for me to believe atm).
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Old June 5th, 2011 (06:38 PM).
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Agreeing that this does need some more information to it to help lessen reader confusion.

Quote:
It would make more sense to me that with civilization, comes society.
Eh...this is bothering me for some reason. I mean, as was pointed out, Pokemon can already speak. They have their own language, as was shown in the anime and the various manga. So I started out thinking that this device that is being introduced would just simply translate the Pokemon's language to be understood by humans. So they can already speak. It's just like if someone is talking to you in a different language, and you couldn't understand them. But they knew what they were talking about. (Check the eleventh episode of the first Pokemon season, "Charmander - The Stray Pokemon", to see a brief scene where Pikachu has to tell Ash what Charmander told Pikachu. Pikachu knew the words and how to say them in Pikachu's own language, but the humans don't have a clue.)

So I guess what my problem is with what I know from canon and what you told about your story is that it's like other languages don't lead to civilization. It's only English that makes a society civilized.

Another example of this again comes from the Pokemon anime: Team Rocket's Meowth. He talks like a human, walks like a human, and very rarely wears human clothes. He only does when he's trying to enter more into human society (like getting a job). Most of the time, though, he's running around without any clothes on.

What does this technology actually do, then? And how would it be used to control minds if all it does is translate languages?

And what's with the evil organization? With all that you said, all I'm picturing is one lone Dewott wearing clothes. Is there more people/Pokemon as a part of this organization? Do Pokemon mainly make up this organization, which would need some explanation, especially since canon really tells us that "there's no such thing as a bad Pokemon".

Quote:
(Grovyle would eventually take ownership of the main character)
Ownership? I'm not sure what you were going for here. That reads as if Grovyle will actually become the owner of the main male character. I'm thinking that you meant it the other way around, but... Well, if the Pokemon can suddenly be understood, wouldn't it change the way training and everything else is done? Especially if suddenly Pokemon become way more human-like? If they wear clothes and form organizations, what's stopping them from going even further?

I think you should think some more on this story idea. You have the start of something, but there's a lot more that needs expanding. The technology, how it works, what it could lead to, how it changes the way Pokemon and humans interact... Those are the main things to think about because of how much the technology could change that world. While keeping in mind how the canon world works, depending on which canon you follow.
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  #222    
Old June 14th, 2011 (11:33 PM). Edited June 14th, 2011 by Spinor.
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Ok, so I think it's time for me to share my latest brilliance :D

What I'm plotting is basically a crossover between My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and the Anime canon of Pokemon.

The background is that after Team Galactic's downfall, Charon went on to create a new group dedicated to space/time research.

Oh, but first the funny part: Equestria is actually a hidden land within the Pokemon world. I have the detail on how this is justified. And basically Ponies and Pokemon split according to legends thousands of years ago.

Charon researches these legends and now plans to create a sort of powerful hybrid between an unicorn and a ditto. A ditto would have the most pure and manipulatable Pokemon DNA. Charon also finds out how to transcend the space/time warping to Equestria. However nothing material can go through.

This is resolved by him using the powers of Musharna and dreams. The result is that a stream of dreams can go to and from Equestria. The dreams can also be manipulated and materialized thanks to Musharna.

Twilight Sparkle, the main Pony character, got caught into the 'dream scheme' because her magical essence forced her dreams to be the strongest and least risky for the operation.

So Twilight Sparkle ended up existing in two places at the same time: asleep in Equestria, and under a different time continuum in the Pokemon world under Charon's control.

Then some bad genetic engineering stuff happens and she gives birth to Codename: PokèPony.

So when the dream stream is shut down, space/time stabilizes and Twilight wakes up with fragments of memories of the dream. Which can be said that it occurred under 'inception' logic, but the dream was real and involved usage of Ph.D Quantum Mechanics and Parabolic Calculus ad nauseum.

And... That wasn't the fanfic, that was its background and foundation for its story. I actually don't have a complete plot, but I feel like this is a lot to work with.

So basically PokePony is the antagonist. I plan for her downfall to actually be tragic. Twilight Sparkle and her friends manage to teleport to the Pokemon world with the Pony Ruby. The pony ruby also happens to allow Twilight and her friends to change between pony and human form. I then initiate interaction between them and the main Pokemon cast Ash, Iris, and Cilan.

Side stories include a little shipping between Ash and Twilight [Ash doesn't know that Twilight is a pony until she has to transform to save his life] and maybe give Ash a tour of Equestria.

The main conflict would be that Charon is using PokéPony to steal Pokemon. Ash, Twilight, and co. try to intersect, and [for no details on cause, atm] PokéPony is sent on a semi-psychotic frenzy. Ash and co. conflict with Charon over the search and control of her. She is, after all, Twilight's daughter.

So I'm not far from having a complete story. I'll appreciate comments and suggestions.
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  #223    
Old June 15th, 2011 (03:34 PM).
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Quote originally posted by AdvancedK47:
What I'm plotting is basically a crossover between My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and the Anime canon of Pokemon.
I'm sorry. I can't go any further. My brain imploded from how amazing this single sentence is.

Seriously, DO IT. I gather that the entire bit about Inception and abuse of the laws of quantum physics will be made a bit clearer (with a lot of handwaving) in the fic, but beyond that? I'd read the **** out of this.

The only suggestion I can think of revolves around the uncertainty of the plot. While I'd love to see the ponies and Team Ash interact, that plot's going to be your main pillar for supporting this crossover. I guess you can figure things out by asking yourself why Charon needed to make PokéPony and why he wants to use her to steal Pokémon. Once you figure that part out, you'll probably find it a bit easier to go from there.
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  #224    
Old June 18th, 2011 (04:02 PM).
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Once upon a time, I was seriously in love with Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness. (I'm still in love with it but that's another story.) After I finished it, I thought it would be interesting to see a sequel be spawned out from it, particularly because of its ending and my own speculations about the main bad guys. So what started out as a game idea turned into a story idea. The plot went something like this (bear with me, I no longer have the story in front of me as I write this):
Thirty years has passed since the events of Michael(our hero) and the Snag Machine and the Orre region has been relatively peaceful since then. Cipher literally disappeared from the map and Grandmaster Greevil has long since been dead. Eldes had reformed and now works with Michael in the Pokemon Lab. Michael is now the new Pokemon Professor after the one before him retired and has a son. During this peacetime, Michael decided it was necessary to create an organization to make sure Shadow Pokemon never appear in the Orre region again, aptly named Alpha & Omega. For a while it didn't seem like they were ever going to be needed.
Meanwhile, Ardos decides it's time to revive Cipher under a new name (which I cannot remember at this point in time), with the creation of a new project he had been working on while outside of the Orre region and in hiding. This project is called XD002 or rather Lorelei and it's essentially a killing machine of a Pokemon. Created from the DNA of other strong Pokemon, (Lugia, Milotec, Banette, Mewtwo, etc etc) Lorelei is the first triple ability Pokemon and first Pokemon to be "born" with its heart closed, a "born" Shadow Pokemon. This makes it not only immensely powerful, but ruthless and nigh impossible to open it's heart. The new Grandmaster Ardos hasn't revealed his plans for the Orre region but it's safe to say that it's not benevolent. Also, ust what is he doing with the Legendary Pokemon?
So it's up to Michael's son, Aiden and a new ally, a mysterious girl who not only can identify Shadow Pokemon without the use of a Snag Machine, but can communicate with them as well. They must stop Ardos's plans from coming into fruitation or else the world could be lost to Shadow Pokemon for good.
I had drawn several pictures to accompany the story but I gave up on it, fearing that it was too cliche and expected. I'm sort of curious to take up this project again but I need ideas. Should I continue this story? And if so, what should I change about it?
Comments and questions are appreciated.
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  #225    
Old June 18th, 2011 (04:59 PM).
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Moved to the plot bunny thread as this what it is for.

One question I have is if Michael decides how this organisation is made and all then when does that happen during the 30 years gap given he's only a kid by the end of XD...so I imagine it wouldn't have been right away without a lot of help from other people.

I also wonder why there's a need for him to use a Pokemon spliced from the DNA of multiple legendaries...and Pokemon like Bannette which aren't really regarded as that strong generally seems a bit odd to me and possibly hard to explain (such as - why use the DNA of a Mewtwo if they had/have a Mewtwo, and if not where did they get such DNA?). (as a note it's also the same name
as a E4 member in Kanto which initially confused me because my mind went 'Shadow Lorelei what' XD).

This Aiden fellow and the mysterious girl... would they also be a parallel to Wes and Rui in the first game? (As a note I would be curious if you'd touch on those two in the story or not). That and does Michael take part in this as well or would he just leave it up to his son (because around then he'd be 40... which isn't really that old).
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