The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

[YungKnowledge]

Originally Posted by Scarf

I think it's time for a little news. Haven't had much of this in a while.

Here in the US of A we've got a bit of politics going on:

• In the state of Missouri there is a potential law making its way through the legislature that would ban "teaching, extracurricular activities or materials that discuss sexual orientation unless they relate to the scientific facts about human reproduction" but a Republican lawmaker has come out (literally!) in opposition to it. [link]

• In the state of North Carolina there is another bill that, if passed, would outlaw same-sex marriage... and take away many existing rights of civil unions for gay and straight alike. When the bill's sponsor's wife was asked about it she said it was important because the Caucasian race is "diminishing." Isn't it great when homophobia and racism get together like this? [link] Oh, but if you'd prefer your homophobia with side of religious intolerance I've got another NC story for that about a pastor who thinks we should hit kids with "limp wrists." [link]

I deal with people like this all the time being from the RED State of Tennessee.
I watched the video with the woman from North Carolina who said why her husband wrote the Marriage Bill. There honestly a bunch other people who think just like them in the south and its a sad sad sad thing.

[Shining Raichu]

Originally Posted by YungKnowledge

Thank you guys for the welcome.
@Shining Raichu I compelety understand were you come from.
One of the true reason I don't label myself is because they are so many young women in my hometown that say they are bi or whatevea and are truly not. Then they end up hurting someone really bad because it was just a game to them. I honestly don't want to be label with girls like them.

Oh I most definitely get that. I feel bad but whenever a pretty teenage girl calls herself bisexual I never believe her. It's a once-bitten-twice-shy thing, once you have enough girls exposed as liars just trying to turn on boys, it jades you a little on that topic.

Originally Posted by Magdalena~

This just about summarises my thoughts on the matter, actually.

<3

Originally Posted by Magdalena~

Don't tempt me.

Spoiler:

Calm yo tits

Originally Posted by Kura

I'm kind of irked lately. On another forum some people were posting pics of "hot lesbians hurrhurr" (because they're guys and "lesbians are hot stuff") and I was like "Awesome! LGBT!" because who doesn't want to spread the love? And so I posted this:

Because I thought it was a really artful and pretty picture. And then I had people raging saying I should be banned for posting it, and "that's gross." Etc. I mean.. we're not talking about hormonal 13 year olds or semi-retarded 7 year olds raging. I'm talking about grown adults going "ew." I mean.. what? Are you serious?

Have any of you ever experienced this?

Yeah well... you get that. It sucks, but some straight guys tend to be that way. They are cherry-pickers when it comes to the LGBT community; if it turns them on it's OK but if it threatens their own buff masculinity it's not. There's nothing you can do about it because it just comes from a lack of maturity. Some of them will grow out of it and some of them won't. It's frustrating but if you're gay for long enough you come to accept it

Originally Posted by Scarf

Oh, but if you'd prefer your homophobia with side of religious intolerance I've got another NC story for that about a pastor who thinks we should hit kids with "limp wrists." [link]

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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA moron.

This wouldn't be funny if it weren't a demented preacher. If you click the link you can see what a whackjob he is just by looking at him. Nobody's going to take it seriously, so it's good for people to say stuff like this once in a while. You know, for the lols.

[ToriSora]

Permission to join the club?

[QuilavaKing]

Originally Posted by Kura

Have any of you ever experienced this? >_> It's just so frustrating IMO.. argh. I wanna smack some sense of respect into these people.

Yeah, all the time. So much so that my first reaction to this post was "well, duh."

That's why there are so many countries that have penalties as high as the death sentence for gay males, and no penalties at all for gay females... and if there are penalties for females, most of the time they're not as severe as those for males.



Edit: Well, if we're all posting yuri now, I guess I'll just leave this here...

Spoiler:

JK they're both boys. trololololol

[Team Fail]

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu

In some oddly disturbing news, merely supporting LGBT rights now closes down schools. Apparently we are too far from God to teach people how to speak English.

That is rather disturbing tbqh.

@Kura I love how they're posing all this lesbian content, and when you post gay content, they're all up in arms about it. It's the same type of relationship, just different genders. If you were actually banned, I'd see the others getting banned too. Talk about talking out of both sides of your mouth >_>

[TornZero]

I don't seem to have missed much since my last check-in, just double standards and a Republican coming out against same-sex marriage opposition.

Oh, and I'll add this, just because Kura said it was fine.

Spoiler:

Alice Margatroid & Marisa Kirisame, probably the cutest Touhou-related pairing I've ever seen.

I'll add this, too.

Spoiler:

The genderswaps of Hatsune Miku and Megurine Luka make a nice pair, don't you think?

[SwiftSign]

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu

They are cherry-pickers when it comes to the LGBT community;

I read this bit wrong the first time Andy

Originally Posted by ToriSora

Permission to join the club?

WELCOME! :D Have a cupcake, it comes with optional sprinkles and rainbows.

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by ToriSora

Permission to join the club?

Granted! Shining Raichu will add you to the list (if he hasn't already). Care to share what made you interested in joining? You don't have to, of course. If you'd rather pretend I never asked then that's fine. But if you are comfortable sharing it's nice to hear people's stories.

@Kura: I wish there were some better explanation for their behavior, but they're just immature boys who live in a man's world where they never have to think about things outside their narrow views of life. What you did when you saw their thread was perfectly rational: you saw support for same-sex couples. But if you put your straight-boy-glasses on you'd see it wasn't about that at all, that the fact that they're gay is only incidental and it was just an excuse to look at girls as something that's pleasing to them. Not knocking people looking at things, you understand. Yeah. I'm loosing my train of thought now.

[U_Flame]

Originally Posted by Kura

I'm kind of irked lately. On another forum some people were posting pics of "hot lesbians hurrhurr" (because they're guys and "lesbians are hot stuff") and I was like "Awesome! LGBT!" because who doesn't want to spread the love? And so I posted this:

Because I thought it was a really artful and pretty picture. And then I had people raging saying I should be banned for posting it, and "that's gross." Etc. I mean.. we're not talking about hormonal 13 year olds or semi-retarded 7 year olds raging. I'm talking about grown adults going "ew." I mean.. what? Are you serious?
So now I'm just pissy. It's like.. what the heck. It's okay to post girls kissing and not this? These guys aren't even kissing! What's so bad about gay guys? Is it really more socially acceptable to be a lesbian because according to some immature buttholes it's "hot"? Ugh it just makes me rage.
Man I'm not here to knock lesbians at all. Seriously. Post all the lesbian pictures you want; I don't care. I embrace it and I think it's awesome, too. Free love FTW!! But don't cry a river when someone brings up something gay. It's so hypocritical it's not even funny.

Have any of you ever experienced this? >_> It's just so frustrating IMO.. argh. I wanna smack some sense of respect into these people.

Yep, I've experianced that frustration too. It's terrible! That's why I like to troll homophobes in my school by "hitting on them". The results are hilarious and I've had rumors about my sexuality for a long time so my reputation is really unchanged. ^_^

[ToriSora]

Originally Posted by Scarf

Granted! Shining Raichu will add you to the list (if he hasn't already). Care to share what made you interested in joining? You don't have to, of course. If you'd rather pretend I never asked then that's fine. But if you are comfortable sharing it's nice to hear people's stories.

Well its odd but not sure what I am. Like I would rather be with boys (relationships) but hang outwith more girls and feel more comfy with them then with boys. Plus I like cute stuff and don't like people referring to me as dude boy man etc. So not sure what I am but felt it would be good to join

[Lateon]

When I was in high school I did a bomb presentation on pros/cons of gay marriage. Being from a very republican area, I got a ton of comments such as "Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" and "If my kid said they were gay I wouldn't accept it" but the one that took the cake was the "redneck" kid saying "I'm okay if I see two girls dancing and kissing together, but two guys is gross." Double standard much?

Sometimes I wish gay kids upon people that are homophobic, but then I feel bad for the poor kids that would probably end up unloved and with low self-esteem.

[Shining Raichu]

Originally Posted by ToriSora

Well its odd but not sure what I am. Like I would rather be with boys (relationships) but hang outwith more girls and feel more comfy with them then with boys. Plus I like cute stuff and don't like people referring to me as dude boy man etc. So not sure what I am but felt it would be good to join

Hey welcome! You have indeed been added to the list

I'm gay and I'm much the same. Physically and romantically attracted to boys only, but in general I am more comfortable around girls and about 90% of my friends are girls. It's quite common to see gay guys hang around more with girls than guys because often they have more in common with girls than with straight guys. I also have a huge issue with people calling me a 'man' (though boy and dude don't bother me) so based only on the information you've given, I diagnose you as gay

But I'm not a homo doctor, it is something you'll have to figure out yourself XD

[-ty-]

Originally Posted by Lateon

Sometimes I wish gay kids upon people that are homophobic, but then I feel bad for the poor kids that would probably end up unloved and with low self-esteem.

I feel the exact same way. The reason why I would like homophobic people, or really, anyone who votes against same sex rights, to have gay children/siblings is so that they understand the sentiments of gays as human. Most people who are homophobic do not have a close relationship with a gay person. Studies show that the closer one is to a gay person, the more likely they are to vote for same-sex rights and have more acceptance of gay people. A testament to this is Dick Cheney; he now is an avid supporter for same sex marriage and the DADT repeal, he once favored "traditional marriage", DADT, and even the exclusion of women in the military. The same is true for transphobia. However, there is that chance that the children/siblings may be rejected from the family, and if not, they still will have to endure the long process of acceptance.

To sum it up, it's better for the gay community, and it's worse for the individual.

I haven't been that active on this thread for a while now, but I had a question lingering in my thoughts:

How would you distinguish dating standards (not including hook-ups) of gay men and straight men (If at all)?

(Not including lesbian, bisexual, and transgender, since there might be significant differences of opinions among the sentiments of all the LGBT groups, although by all means, you can include a separate explanation for another group.)


I only ask because I have made the generalization that most gay men have higher standards for appearance, whereas straight men have slightly lower standards. Also, it seems like gay men have much higher standards as far as career ambitions, salary, and other financial factors go. I think the reason might be that more straight men want to be the "bread-winner", whereas most gay men either want to be taken care of (YIKES) or contribute equally. I sometimes think that some gay men feel like they need to date someone who is a "great catch" in all respects in order to get better validation by parents and friends. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes this is a bad thing. For one, gay men often have unrealistic expectations and let decent guys go, to see if there is something better out there, more so than I think straight men do.

So, therefore, to me, it seems like gay men have higher standards for long-term dating. Although, I'd say proportionally less gay men desire long-term dating. I would say that the assumptions and generalizations come from my own bias sentiments as well as others I know, but I do acknowledge we are not all the same, no matter what skin tone, ethnicity, gender, or religion we are. So what are your thoughts?

[droomph]

Originally Posted by Lateon

When I was in high school I did a bomb presentation on pros/cons of gay marriage. Being from a very republican area, I got a ton of comments such as "Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" and "If my kid said they were gay I wouldn't accept it" but the one that took the cake was the "redneck" kid saying "I'm okay if I see two girls dancing and kissing together, but two guys is gross." Double standard much?

Go kick them in the crotchal area for me prtyplz

It's sad how people are like that I mean I understand if you hate gays but pleeaaase make up a good reason. The Old Testament is not The Constitution and even that's not very important. Besides Adam and Eve were made because they needed to spread the human population to survive, and frankly Adam and Steve just wouldn't last long enough for more than two people to exist.

[Shining Raichu]

Originally Posted by droomph

I mean I understand if you hate gays

You do? Care to explain it to me?

How would you distinguish dating standards (not including hook-ups) of gay men and straight men (If at all)?

The first thing that springs to mind is that gay men prefer men while straight men prefer women.

As far as looks are concerned, I've actually found gay guys and straight guys to be about equal. Everybody wants somebody good-looking. In my experience straight men (at least the ones who are hot themselves) want the 'hot chicks' and will refuse to date anything they deem 'below their level'. Of course I've noticed that in the gay community too. I think it's an age thing; a sign of immaturity more than a sign of culture differences between communities.

As far as ambition and success, I honestly have no frame of reference. I've never gotten serious enough about anybody for that to even become a concern and neither have my straight friends. I wasn't even aware that this was an actual concern outside of Sex and the City.

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by ToriSora

Well its odd but not sure what I am. Like I would rather be with boys (relationships) but hang outwith more girls and feel more comfy with them then with boys. Plus I like cute stuff and don't like people referring to me as dude boy man etc. So not sure what I am but felt it would be good to join :)

We're glad you did join. Whoever you are you'd be welcome. And of course only you can really know who you are, but I can't help but see something a little trans in how you describe yourself, but that's probably because I'm trans myself. Shining Raichu sees something a little gay in the same thing and I bet someone else would see something else entirely lol.

[Toujours]

I see unicorns!

It's just kind of unfortunate that people have to label themselves. Like I understand if someone feels like they want to self-label, so they understand themselves better if they fit into a category. But at some point, if someone isn't straight, they're going to be asked what sexuality they are and if they're not comfortable labeling I can just imagine that being really out of line. :( Idk do other people think knowing who you are almost always involves labeling so it doesn't matter? Or is that a legit problem?

[ToriSora]

Originally Posted by Scarf

We're glad you did join. Whoever you are you'd be welcome. And of course only you can really know who you are, but I can't help but see something a little trans in how you describe yourself, but that's probably because I'm trans myself. Shining Raichu sees something a little gay in the same thing and I bet someone else would see something else entirely lol.

Could I be a gay trans? I don't know if thats odd to say. But is that possible for someone?

[Magdalena~]

How would you distinguish dating standards (not including hook-ups) of gay men and straight men (If at all)?
I honestly didn't notice a large-scale difference between the two, but perhaps that's my chronic cluelessness at work.anyway, when I think about it closely, I seem to think that in same-sex relationships, the people involved usually have more in common with each other, unless it's a dominance relationship. Of course, this could obviously stem from the fact that the two people are not the opposite sex as opposed to dating standards, but nonetheless it's something *I think* I've noticed.
As far as appearance, I agree with Rai--straight men want good looking partners too.

Sorry, I don't really have a lot of situations to compare on this. (Most of my LGBT friends--myself included--are polysexual and actually in opposite-sex relationships right now. xD)

Originally Posted by Scarf

We're glad you did join. Whoever you are you'd be welcome. And of course only you can really know who you are, but I can't help but see something a little trans in how you describe yourself, but that's probably because I'm trans myself. Shining Raichu sees something a little gay in the same thing and I bet someone else would see something else entirely lol.

I'll have to side with Scarf on this one. I definitely heard something "trans" about what LoriSora said, but in the end it depends how you feel and what you think you are.
That being said, if you have the means to make yourself without hurting others without knowing exactly what "term" fits you, then there's no need for a term at all. :3

Originally Posted by Toujours

I see unicorns!

It's just kind of unfortunate that people have to label themselves. Like I understand if someone feels like they want to self-label, so they understand themselves better if they fit into a category. But at some point, if someone isn't straight, they're going to be asked what sexuality they are and if they're not comfortable labeling I can just imagine that being really out of line. :( Idk do other people think knowing who you are almost always involves labeling so it doesn't matter? Or is that a legit problem?

I know a few people who simply don't know what name they fit under so it's kind of uncomfortable for them to be asked their sexuality. I personally don't see the issue with labelling (a very leniently used word) in and of itself--the problem is people who think they need to fit others into strict categories and not allow any wiggle room at all.
But terms aren't really that hard to come by, as you can see by looking at the list on the first post of this thread. I think the people who have real problems are the people who think they absolutely need terms or they'll never be happy. If someone asked me my sexuality and I didn't have such a quick answer ready, I would just simply say to them "I like lots of things". If they're not satisfied with the answer, that's just too bad. xD

Originally Posted by ToriSora

Could I be a gay trans? I don't know if thats odd to say. But is that possible for someone?

If you're trans, it wouldn't be gay to be attracted to men--it would be "straight" so to speak.

[QuilavaKing]

Originally Posted by ToriSora

Could I be a gay trans? I don't know if thats odd to say. But is that possible for someone?

Well, if you're transsexual, it means that you are the opposite gender inside of what you are on the outside. Most trans people think of their inside gender as who they really are, meaning that if you're male on the outside, female on the inside, and like boys, you're actually straight, and if you like girls, then you'd be gay. (Terrible explanation is terrible.)

But yeah, it's possible to have just about any combination of sexuality/gender identity.


It's also possible to have both genders, no gender, or something in between. You don't have to be just male or female.

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by Toujours

I see unicorns!

It's just kind of unfortunate that people have to label themselves. Like I understand if someone feels like they want to self-label, so they understand themselves better if they fit into a category. But at some point, if someone isn't straight, they're going to be asked what sexuality they are and if they're not comfortable labeling I can just imagine that being really out of line. :( Idk do other people think knowing who you are almost always involves labeling so it doesn't matter? Or is that a legit problem?

I just wanted an excuse to post that.

But in response to your question I think we all have a backup label for ourselves because sometimes you can't really explain who you are to someone very easily and you have some reason you want to. Like most of the time I don't bother mentioning a lot of stuff about myself because it's not really important, but when I do I'm always half expecting I'll need to figuratively pull out a dictionary so I can have all definitions ready in case someone either doesn't get it or is just more curious that most. In my own head I don't usually think of myself as "trans" or other things though.

Originally Posted by ToriSora

Could I be a gay trans? I don't know if thats odd to say. But is that possible for someone?

Well, if you where physically male and attracted to guys and also felt your identity was more female then you would be straight (a girl attracted to a guy), but there are plenty of trans people who are gay, bi, etc. so it's not that weird even if it's not that well known outside of these circles.

Edit: ninja'd while wasting time watching youtube videos

[Shining Raichu]

Personally I find labels incredibly helpful. I've never had a problem with labels or the practice of labelling and I wish people wouldn't be so hesitant to accept them. While I appreciate the validity of the "I am who I am, I like who I like" school of thought, I can't help but feel that unwillingness to adopt a label to describe who you are is just buckling under the pressure of the stigma that bigots put into them. It sort of feels like we're being scared out of the lingo that we use to define us, and that feels like a win for them.

Saying "I'm a guy and I like guys" and "I'm a gay/homosexual man" are essentially the same thing. "Gay" and "homosexual" are just words that have been invented to describe the former. To use the former in an active attempt to avoid labelling may seem bold and progressive in a world where our main goal is to train everybody in the art of apathy, but it just looks shame-based to me. It feels counterproductive to the point we're trying to make because we are trying to teach people to either accept or not care about who we are, but it sends mixed messages if we're not even willing to use the words ourselves.

I'm gay. That's the word I've been given to describe who I am and I use it without shame. I won't be forced into dropping that word because you have attached connotations to it that do not necessarily fit me. I'd prefer to let you get to know me and change your mind about the word instead of changing the terminology I use to make you more comfortable. Because if I'm changing myself to evade your perceptions instead of remaining stagnant and forcing you to change your perspective, then I'm giving you the balance of power. I'm not going to do that, because bigots like you have had that power for long enough.

That's how I see labels anyway. It might be different for people whose labels are less clean-cut than mine, though.

[SwiftSign]

And once again, my point of people thinking they are trans just because they don't fit straight stereotypes arises ;_;.

I'm with Andy on this, after all my best friends (and many of my gay friend's circles) revolve around girls. It isn't because we are girls, it's simply because girls tend to be more understanding of gay men.

---

As to labels, whilst I think it's a good idea to have an answer to the 'who do you like?' question I don't like the idea of complicated labels. Just because you say to someone you are gay doesn't mean you have to 100% fit the idea of what 'gay' is.

Example: If you are a homo-romantic asexual: 'gay' is perfectly fitting. 'Homosexual' may not be, since it implies sexualness but there is nothing wrong with 'gay' and nobody is going to be confused.

These complicated labels just make things so specific, I'd prefer the much broader boxes with the blurred line.

[Magdalena~]

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu

Personally I find labels incredibly helpful. I've never had a problem with labels or the practice of labelling and I wish people wouldn't be so hesitant to accept them. While I appreciate the validity of the "I am who I am, I like who I like" school of thought, I can't help but feel that unwillingness to adopt a label to describe who you are is just buckling under the pressure of the stigma that bigots put into them. It sort of feels like we're being scared out of the lingo that we use to define us, and that feels like a win for them.

Saying "I'm a guy and I like guys" and "I'm a gay/homosexual man" are essentially the same thing. "Gay" and "homosexual" are just words that have been invented to describe the former. To use the former in an active attempt to avoid labelling may seem bold and progressive in a world where our main goal is to train everybody in the art of apathy, but it just looks shame-based to me. It feels counterproductive to the point we're trying to make because we are trying to teach people to either accept or not care about who we are, but it sends mixed messages if we're not even willing to use the words ourselves.

I'm gay. That's the word I've been given to describe who I am and I use it without shame. I won't be forced into dropping that word because you have attached connotations to it that do not necessarily fit me. I'd prefer to let you get to know me and change your mind about the word instead of changing the terminology I use to make you more comfortable. Because if I'm changing myself to evade your perceptions instead of remaining stagnant and forcing you to change your perspective, then I'm giving you the balance of power. I'm not going to do that, because bigots like you have had that power for long enough.

That's how I see labels anyway. It might be different for people whose labels are less clean-cut than mine, though.

That's pretty much the point I was trying to make. I don't go as far as the people who say "I'm against labels" (like I said the word is used too loosely) but at the same time you don't have to have one word to describe yourself as in order to know what you truly are and how to be happy. I have no problem calling myself transsexual, or pansexual, or demisexual or gender fluid, even though my situation is a lot more complicated than that and can't be perfectly accurately described even by all of those words combined. But to anyone who has trouble with terms like that and can't figure out "hmmm, should I consider myself pansexual or gender fluid or what? I'm not sure! What do I do!", I simply say, "it doesn't matter. You don't need simple words if you don't want them."
So yes, personally I like labels too. However at the same time I don't think they're always necessary and while I would be wholly against doing away with them completely, they don't work for some people.

Originally Posted by SwiftSign

And once again, my point of people thinking they are trans just because they don't fit straight stereotypes arises ;_;.

I'm with Andy on this, after all my best friends (and many of my gay friend's circles) revolve around girls. It isn't because we are girls, it's simply because girls tend to be more understanding of gay men.

I don't think ToriSora said anything about being trans. Scarf and I simply pointed out he may be gender variant in some significant way. The reason I brought up the whole label thing was just because he seemed unsure and I wanted to convey the feeling of "no big deal, as long as you can be happy without hurting others". Also I didn't have in mind the fact that he hangs out more with girls--moreso the idea that he doesn't like being called guy/boy/man. Obviously that doesn't automatically make him trans, but I was just pointing out the possibility is all.

Originally Posted by SwiftSign

As to labels, whilst I think it's a good idea to have an answer to the 'who do you like?' question I don't like the idea of complicated labels. Just because you say to someone you are gay doesn't mean you have to 100% fit the idea of what 'gay' is.

Example: If you are a homo-romantic asexual: 'gay' is perfectly fitting. 'Homosexual' may not be, since it implies sexualness but there is nothing wrong with 'gay' and nobody is going to be confused.

These complicated labels just make things so specific, I'd prefer the much broader boxes with the blurred line.

I also like the blurred lines. :3 I kind of need them to describe myself with any accuracy, actually. xD

[Lateon]

Off the topic of labels and more into news, but I wanted to share this link with you guys:
18 Worst Anti-LGBT Moments of the week.

This applies more to the US, but some of the stories are amusing in a sad way. My favorite is the one where one million moms is protesting JCP because of the same-sex couple pictured in the mothers day ad- really? If it's that big a problem, don't shop there. Enough people shop there that losing you is no big deal and probably would make my shopping experience better. The amount of times I've been through the mall holding my wife's hand to head over there and had people cross to the other side of the hallway... ugh.