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  #3051    
Old August 26th, 2012 (5:49 PM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Phantom, your story was beautiful! Scarfy, you're a mean old cynic

I agree that these new terms probably aren't entirely necessary, but I do like them and I can see how they'd be useful. As Scarf said, they're great for the genderqueer and intersex community who may not know whether the more correct term for them would be 'heterosexual' and 'homosexual' because they're not sure of what their gender is themselves, and these words disregard your own gender entirely (way to repeat everything that was already said, Andy!) They're probably also good for more private people who are of the 'my life is none of your business' school of thought as they reveal less about you than the -sexual terms do.

In addition, the words probably are necessary as far as the English language is concerned. We have a whole set of 'philia' words to describe human attraction - paedophilia, necrophilia, ephebophilia, xenophilia, just to name a few. The set would be incomplete without the two most basic ones of all - the attraction toward males and females. And if we have the words, what's the harm in using them if they're more convenient?
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  #3052    
Old August 26th, 2012 (9:57 PM).
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They're really not more convenient though, since no one knows what they mean. lol

So... I've moved in with my new roommates... and none of them ever check facebook apparently, because they don't know that I'm bi. I was so happy that I was able to get it out online too =/. I guess enough other people know though... so they'll probably find out on their own.
  #3053    
Old August 27th, 2012 (11:37 AM).
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Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
Scarfy, you're a mean old cynic :P
You think I'm mean? :(

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Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
In addition, the words probably are necessary as far as the English language is concerned. We have a whole set of 'philia' words to describe human attraction - paedophilia, necrophilia, ephebophilia, xenophilia, just to name a few. The set would be incomplete without the two most basic ones of all - the attraction toward males and females. And if we have the words, what's the harm in using them if they're more convenient?
Very good, positive examples there, Shining. (b'')b

For the record, I'm one of those hipster types who don't like using labels and would rather people all just kept open minds and didn't assume about anyone, but I also like equal representation so I feel like there could be a place for new words if we're gonna be using words in this sense. I'm all about possibilities.

And while I'm posting I feel like I should post some news, but it's mostly bad stuff from what I'm gleaning so I think I'll hold back. The US does now have its first openly gay general so... yay?
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  #3054    
Old August 29th, 2012 (10:29 PM).
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Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Of course I don't think you're mean! The is meant to convey a joking energy. It seems someone got a bit cocky and skipped some of their Internetiquette 101 classes!

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Originally Posted by QuilavaKing
So... I've moved in with my new roommates... and none of them ever check facebook apparently, because they don't know that I'm bi. I was so happy that I was able to get it out online too =/. I guess enough other people know though... so they'll probably find out on their own.
Well I guess you just go onto Plan B! Don't bother telling them unless it comes up and then just naturally slip it into the conversation, or just wait until they find out on their own and approach you about it.
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  #3055    
Old August 30th, 2012 (4:28 PM).
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Nice examples of philias there Andy, very positive ones indeed >.>
Aww thats a bummer Quil, but I agree with Andy, they have a way to find out now so you don't need to tell them. Im sure that gets a lot of your chest doesnt it! As long as youre happy with how things are with them you really dont need to bring it up or tell them until they approach you about it, so you're basically free now to be yourself completely now.
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  #3056    
Old August 30th, 2012 (6:57 PM).
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Aha! Roommates.

Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
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  #3057    
Old August 30th, 2012 (11:34 PM).
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Hey, maybe I can get the house to myself if I tell them I'm gay! Fool proof plan. :D
  #3058    
Old August 31st, 2012 (2:46 AM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Retro Bug View Post
Aha! Roommates.

Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
Wow, that guy is horrible :\ I don't want to say anything, but I'm pretty sure I know what his religion is...
Good thing you got rid of him, though Maybe you can now get a roommate that'll allow girls in the dorm....

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Hey, maybe I can get the house to myself if I tell them I'm gay! Fool proof plan. :D
Yeah, it is a fool-proof plan, if all of your roommates are intolerant bastards xD
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  #3059    
Old August 31st, 2012 (12:08 PM).
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Aha! Roommates.

Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."
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  #3060    
Old August 31st, 2012 (6:41 PM).
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You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."

I am now running for President. That is my campaign slogan. Vote for Phantom!
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  #3061    
Old August 31st, 2012 (7:40 PM).
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Hey everyone!

I'd like to join the club
  #3062    
Old September 1st, 2012 (6:19 AM).
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Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Hey there Gliberty, welcome!

Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? Are you gay, straight, bi, other, transgender? If you're gay or etc, are you out? Are your parents OK with it? That kinda thing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Retro Bug
Aha! Roommates.

Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
Yeah... I'm gonna go with Scarf on this one lol. When I read this (and I'm sure I replied to it when I read it, but I guess the disgust was just swirling through my head and I didn't actually write it down) I just thought "what. the. ****."

I don't take to people's religious views very well. So if somebody had tried to use their religion to impose on who I could bring into my own home, I would be very much not OK with that. Even without the whole gay thing, I would have gotten rid of him the fastest I could.

The worst part of this is that I can see it in my head lol. He's just reading your sheet then gets to that part. All of a sudden he puts the sheet down, walks to his room, puts his stuff in a bag and leaves. That would have just infuriated me, it's like you were diseased or something. Oh well, that jackass will get what's coming to him, one way or another.
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  #3063    
Old September 1st, 2012 (8:56 AM).
Retro Bug Retro Bug is offline
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Wow, that guy is horrible :\ I don't want to say anything, but I'm pretty sure I know what his religion is...
Good thing you got rid of him, though :) Maybe you can now get a roommate that'll allow girls in the dorm....
You do? Me and my friend were trying to figure it out, what is it? Aha, I sure hope so or not get another one. I like living alone.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."
Really? Hmm, I just didn't want to be rude and thought that's what "a respectable" person would've done. I really didn't realize how dumb it was until my (girl) friends wanted to come over and I had to deny them that privilege.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
Yeah... I'm gonna go with Scarf on this one lol. When I read this (and I'm sure I replied to it when I read it, but I guess the disgust was just swirling through my head and I didn't actually write it down) I just thought "what. the. ****."

I don't take to people's religious views very well. So if somebody had tried to use their religion to impose on who I could bring into my own home, I would be very much not OK with that. Even without the whole gay thing, I would have gotten rid of him the fastest I could.

The worst part of this is that I can see it in my head lol. He's just reading your sheet then gets to that part. All of a sudden he puts the sheet down, walks to his room, puts his stuff in a bag and leaves. That would have just infuriated me, it's like you were diseased or something. Oh well, that jackass will get what's coming to him, one way or another.
(C/P what I said to Scarf here~) Also, it did make me pretty mad but I knew that he'd would be requesting a change, which made me happier. I just wasn't sure what to do in that situation as I've never been it before. It definitely prepares me and hopefully next time I don't get a prick.
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  #3064    
Old September 1st, 2012 (3:40 PM).
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Hey guys,

I have returned to the PC, after what has been nearly 6 months, maybe more.
Not much new has happened in my life though; although, it seems like my political science courses discussions have been gearing toward some LGBTQ-related issues due to the upcoming election.

This one girl actually yelled out, "you know what, I just don't care; it's wrong because I know it's wrong," after I pointed out her flawed propositions in a ten minute long rebuttal, since she never took the time to formulate an opinion rather than restating a learned prejudice. After she said that though, I just kept my composure and smiled and said, "well, you just proved my point; ultimately you are saying something is wrong using the fact that it is wrong to prove that point. That is a circular argument, which is derived from a prejudice rather than a philosophical argument." After that, she just glared down at her desk in anguish and didn't participate in any of the class discussion for the remaining hour of class.

Oh boy, I can just tell this is going to be a great year. XD
  #3065    
Old September 1st, 2012 (5:20 PM).
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@Retro Bug - I demand to know what twenty-something heterosexual male college student in their right mind has a problem with girls being in his dorm.

No, seriously, tell me. It's like a paradox.

Religious views are one thing, and sure, respect of each other's beliefs is key. I wouldn't want anyone making me doing or watching something I'm uncomfortable with or don't believe in. But that was ridiculous. I think if I were you, I would've had a follow up discussion with my roommate if that came up. In what way does me bringing friends over impose on his religious beliefs?

Ugh, well, think on the bright side. In many ways that whole "leaving" stunt he did was better than what it could've been. He could've done something worse had he had a more violent disposition, and quite frankly, a passive aggressive bigot leave is much more preferable.

Here's to luck with any future roommates to you my sexy charming friend!

@PhantomX0990 - Y U MAK ME CRI ;;

That was beautiful. Very touching. Maybe one day you'll be back together. Maybe.

@-ty- - Good job. Hopefully she's re-thinking her mindset? Nice to see you again, btw. Welcome back.
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  #3066    
Old September 2nd, 2012 (9:10 AM).
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Hey guys,

I have returned to the PC, after what has been nearly 6 months, maybe more.
Not much new has happened in my life though; although, it seems like my political science courses discussions have been gearing toward some LGBTQ-related issues due to the upcoming election.

This one girl actually yelled out, "you know what, I just don't care; it's wrong because I know it's wrong," after I pointed out her flawed propositions in a ten minute long rebuttal, since she never took the time to formulate an opinion rather than restating a learned prejudice. After she said that though, I just kept my composure and smiled and said, "well, you just proved my point; ultimately you are saying something is wrong using the fact that it is wrong to prove that point. That is a circular argument, which is derived from a prejudice rather than a philosophical argument." After that, she just glared down at her desk in anguish and didn't participate in any of the class discussion for the remaining hour of class.

Oh boy, I can just tell this is going to be a great year. XD
It always makes me so sad to see young people with such prejudice. I wonder where they get it from. Older people I sort of understand because back when they first had learned about the fact that gay people existed it was probably something that no one knew much about and there were a lot of misconceptions, but today? How does someone not having a kid in their school who is gay, or a family member, or a neighbor, or at the very least see someone on television or other media?
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  #3067    
Old September 4th, 2012 (7:58 AM).
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Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Prejudice is learned. The older people who don't have the brain power to overcome their own bigotry can't help but spread it to the younger generation. The ones that allow it to stick are the ones that are weak-willed and impressionable, and should be pitied for that.

Also, it's great to have you back, ty!
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  #3068    
Old September 4th, 2012 (12:05 PM).
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There's a lot of ways a young person can learn to prejudge other people (especially homosexuals). It's not only the parents or grandparents. Media and friends can affect someone's brain as much as stubborn parents.
For example, if someones best friend is extremely homophobic, the same's to be expected from that someone (especially someone who is weak-willed/stupid)

Also, prejudice comes with stupidity. There are a lot of stupid people out there, who think that everything they do is awesome, and anything different is wrong and should be hated. Also, it's almost impossible to make a stupid person change their mind about anything! If a stupid person believes that milk is black, you couldn't change his mind even by showing him milk... yeah, a stupid example, but you get what I'm trying to say.

I believe that at least 80% of people are as stupid as I just described. If not even more...
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Old September 5th, 2012 (8:53 AM).
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Good to be back Kiyoshi, Scarf, and Andy

Yeah, this girl said she went to a baptist church twice a week. There, I am sure she gets a regular condemnation of homosexuality; although the bible makes very little, if any claims about homosexuality. Her parents probably solidify that viewpoint as well; she mentioned her parents were avid church-goers and were also part of the republican party (and got her participating with them).

Not to point fingers at either Republicans or Baptists, but the likeliness that someone will become homophobic increases dramatically if one grows up in a household that is extremely right-wing and follows the Baptist faith. So, in a way, she might not be homophobic if she were raised by a non-religious or tolerant religious family and/or if her parents were libertarian/democrat/independent. She would actually be highly likely to support gay rights if she was adopted by gay parents.

This all sort of ties into the idea of freewill. We are placed in a certain circumstance by birth, that we have no choice in. Factors included: where we are born, ethnicity/race, sex, gender, sexual orientation, medical conditions, religion, economic status, among other factors.

Our upbringing is not really much of a choice, so it's hard to change someone's ideals when they are ingrained into them. As Scarf mentioned, the number one reason why people switch their views on gay rights and homosexuality is discovering that a close relative is gay. Usually the impact can be gauged by how close the relationship is; if a second cousin is gay, then it may have little effect, and if their sibling or child is gay, it may have an enormous effect. All-in-all, gay rights support has soared simply because more people are able to come out than ever as gay rights and gay television/media is not being swept under the rug, and instead, is being integrated into our culture. IF I were born in the 50's or earlier, I most likely would not come out. The amount of people who are coming out really has legimized the concern for the those with close gay family members and the general population at large.

In short, I can't exactly hold her accountable for the upbringing she had, but I can try to make her think more logically in order to make her consider whether her ideals on homosexuality (from her upbringing) have negative effects on society. I totally keep the angry we're-queer-and-we're-here persona under complete wraps, since that is absolutely not effective on homophobic-types. I don't know if many, if any of the people in class know I am gay either; I would rather them not for the sake of the argument, so they don't think I am biased; although, my professor that I had from a previous class knows that I am gay.
  #3070    
Old September 5th, 2012 (11:40 AM).
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In short, I can't exactly hold her accountable for the upbringing she had, but I can try to make her think more logically in order to make her consider whether her ideals on homosexuality (from her upbringing) have negative effects on society. I totally keep the angry we're-queer-and-we're-here persona under complete wraps, since that is absolutely not effective on homophobic-types. I don't know if many, if any of the people in class know I am gay either; I would rather them not for the sake of the argument, so they don't think I am biased; although, my professor that I had from a previous class knows that I am gay.
It's funny. If you want to get people to understand your point of view you can't use the obvious and simple argument that "hey, this doesn't affect you in any way so let people do what they want" because it's so simple an idea that they just bat it away like a fly, like it can't be valid because it's so simple.

That part I bolded there, that's the kind of thing that irritates me to no end. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they can't make a coherent argument without ever referencing their own sexuality, but you'd get dismissed by a lot of people if you were supportive and then people found out you're gay.

Oh, let me also share something to make you want to vomit.



Srsly, this acting is so bad I could spew. Also, the message is terrible, backwards, etc.
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Old September 5th, 2012 (2:41 PM).
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I need to ask a question which I may know the answer too but maybe my answer is the wrong one. Ok so I'm trans and all but have not gotten the operation. However I wore skinny jeans and a girl Hot Topic shirt today to school today and did get some stares but a bunch of kids in the cafe just called me out on it. Now here is what I don't get. They were boys with pants pulled down and you could see their boxers and girls hardly wearing anything to cover up and yet they call me out for wearing girl clothes. Is it they are just stupid and ignorant or should I not dress as a girl in public without the operation. I mean I met some very supportive people about the whole thing today too but wondering if doing it at school is to much compared to just doing it at home or around the town/city. Sorry if it was worded wrong
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Old September 5th, 2012 (4:40 PM).
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Originally Posted by AshleyKetchum View Post
I need to ask a question which I may know the answer too but maybe my answer is the wrong one. Ok so I'm trans and all but have not gotten the operation. However I wore skinny jeans and a girl Hot Topic shirt today to school today and did get some stares but a bunch of kids in the cafe just called me out on it. Now here is what I don't get. They were boys with pants pulled down and you could see their boxers and girls hardly wearing anything to cover up and yet they call me out for wearing girl clothes. Is it they are just stupid and ignorant or should I not dress as a girl in public without the operation. I mean I met some very supportive people about the whole thing today too but wondering if doing it at school is to much compared to just doing it at home or around the town/city. Sorry if it was worded wrong
This is a situation with no perfect option

But here are my thoughts; I think some other members might be more able to give this type of advice.

Assuming you don't live in an accepting city like New York City, San Francisco, Fort Lauder-dale, Ann Arbor, Seattle, among several other cities, here is what I would do, or suggest for you to do.

If you feel as if you will be physically harmed for dressing more feminine, I would say ride-it-out; you don't have to dress particularly masculine or feminine, more neutral attire might be a better choice for you while in public places that are not accepting. Of course, your life is your first and foremost concern.

I know it feels cowardly and unfair, but it may be your only option until you are able to move. I know it is not right for anyone to judge you or harm you because of your gender identity, but if there is no safe-way of going about expressing your true gender in a given situation, then it may have to be a concession on your part to dress less feminine.

Although finances may not always permit, I think moving to a LGBT-friendly city and/or neighborhood would be the best solution you can make for yourself.
Similarly, if you are to have several corrective surgeries, it may help your ability to go about your life with less fear of being harassed for expressing yourself. Of course, that is very expensive as well.

I know this is not much, if any, help for your situation; let's see if anyone else has something to add or has differing advice.


@ Scarf -
Those videos LITERALLY seem like parody videos. XD
I absolutely love the dramatic piano music, along with the 3rd grade acting.
  #3073    
Old September 6th, 2012 (9:45 AM).
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Esper Esper is offline
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Originally Posted by AshleyKetchum View Post
I need to ask a question which I may know the answer too but maybe my answer is the wrong one. Ok so I'm trans and all but have not gotten the operation. However I wore skinny jeans and a girl Hot Topic shirt today to school today and did get some stares but a bunch of kids in the cafe just called me out on it. Now here is what I don't get. They were boys with pants pulled down and you could see their boxers and girls hardly wearing anything to cover up and yet they call me out for wearing girl clothes. Is it they are just stupid and ignorant or should I not dress as a girl in public without the operation. I mean I met some very supportive people about the whole thing today too but wondering if doing it at school is to much compared to just doing it at home or around the town/city. Sorry if it was worded wrong
First, those people are prejudiced. It's not about how much skin/underwear you show, it's that you're breaking gender norms and they're not going to use their reason in that case 'cause their prejudice is in the way. People like that aren't going to be very self-aware or sympathetic.

Anyway, here is my advice: do what makes you comfortable.

Obviously, other people can make you feel uncomfortable, or even unsafe, if they're exceptionally prejudiced. Don't do anything that makes you feel like you're in danger. As much as you should be able to dress and be whoever you want to be, there can be danger depending on what kind of place you live in and it's not worth getting hurt.

You don't need surgery to dress how you want to. You might feel better, more comfortable, more confident with the surgery, but it's not something you should feel you absolutely have to have. I just don't want you to think that you have to wait, that you can't do something until you get it because there are a lot of things that can get in the way if you let yourself fall into that mode of thinking. If you want to work up the courage you can always dress your way at home (if you don't already) and gradually change your look in public, but to be honest I don't see why anyone would take issue with skinny jeans like those jerks did.

But again, it's about your comfort in being who you are. It seems like you want to dress how you did and you were fine with it until some jerks got involved. I don't want to tell you how you should look at this and I don't know your personal situation, but I would like to think that if you just did your thing like you already tried that you could just ignore the haters and have enough faith in yourself not to get brought down by them. Seems that there are good people you've met so I'd listen to them, too. Get some of your support from them because they seem to have their heads in the right place.
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  #3074    
Old September 7th, 2012 (7:31 PM). Edited May 24th, 2013 by Phantom.
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Phantom Phantom is offline
Uh, I didn't do it
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Minnesota
Age: 25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear View Post
@PhantomX0990 - Y U MAK ME CRI ;;

That was beautiful. Very touching. Maybe one day you'll be back together. Maybe.
*hands tissue* I don't like people crying, it makes me feel like punching something cause that means that someone hurt them. In this case that'd be me, and I really don't want to punch myself.

We won't, and we know it. I don't do long distance relationships very well, and she's moved on. Which is a good thing. I want her happy. But if anyone hurts her so help me I will scalp them.
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Old September 8th, 2012 (10:54 AM).
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Altix Altix is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Cda' Idaho
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This week was my first week of school, and it was terribly depressing. Every day I would hear like 20+ gay slurs. so ya.... I don't think I will be starting a GSA.

Ugh.
 
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