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  #3051    
Old August 21st, 2012 (09:29 PM).
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SchwarzRozen SchwarzRozen is offline
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Hello all, its been a bit of time sense I was around these parts :3

I finalized my labels and names and am more positive and most comfortable with the orientations I fall in. Most of the confusion was with gender from going everywhere around the spectrum.

I'm Pansexual and I'm Genderqueer. I've been very open about it ever sense I started writing about it on tumblr, and I'm very happy, unlike other phases where I was happy for a moment, but then depressed for months.

I'd like to make this post a "reintroduction" post if you will, Hey all! <3
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  #3052    
Old August 22nd, 2012 (07:54 AM).
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Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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I figured out I was gay in the locker room when I was 12 years old . I think you can all imagine how I figured it out and why I had to rush to get changed before anybody saw me.

And yay, welcome Vato :D

And welcome back SchwarzRozen! I'm so happy to hear you're finally content with yourself. These beginning years are probably the hardest for us all, so I'm so happy you've gotten through the rough part. Now that you've figured yourself out, you can get on with the party that is life :D
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  #3053    
Old August 22nd, 2012 (10:08 AM).
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Kiyoshi the Polar Bear Kiyoshi the Polar Bear is offline
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Hm, when did I find out? I can't really pinpoint when Mr. Hormone said to the rest of my body to crave men emotionally, mentally, and sexually, but I can tell you when I picked up the term and really "said" it for the first time.

I said it to my best friend at the time via text, whom immediately called me and she had this gush fest of how happy she was for me. And then I went to my school's GSA, and then got real comfortable with the fact.

It's just that cute guys were cute and cute girls were unappealing and smelt weird.

._.

Please don't kill me girls are cool too and have great hair and oh gawd gonna go cry now brb.
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Old August 24th, 2012 (09:42 AM).
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I think I first realized I was gay in middle school. When hot boys where all like...yay. I had lots of boy crushes last year...like...10 XD one of which i was gonna send a valentine to...but I didnt have any money. perhaps that was a good thing?
Lol I decided neon green was a good color. ya know cuz the sites all evil and dark now. easy to read. I plan on (trying) starting a gsa at my new middle school. I may be murdered but....meh. I live in a town where there was a HUGE uproar when A gsa was being started in a collage. pretty sad. So chances are I will face resistance, but its not like im gonna be the only gay kid....right?
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Old August 24th, 2012 (12:39 PM).
Manila Luzon Manila Luzon is offline
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Quote originally posted by Altix:
I think I first realized I was gay in middle school. When hot boys where all like...yay. I had lots of boy crushes last year...like...10 XD one of which i was gonna send a valentine to...but I didnt have any money. perhaps that was a good thing?
Lol I decided neon green was a good color. ya know cuz the sites all evil and dark now. easy to read. I plan on (trying) starting a gsa at my new middle school. I may be murdered but....meh. I live in a town where there was a HUGE uproar when A gsa was being started in a collage. pretty sad. So chances are I will face resistance, but its not like im gonna be the only gay kid....right?
That was the single most worst decision of your life. ): Also you can change the theme you're using at the bottom of the main index. :P

And I forgot to add one small detail to my post about when I realized I was gay.

i may or may not have been caught looking at porn when i was 12.

shut up
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  #3056    
Old August 24th, 2012 (07:32 PM).
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^ You beat me by a couple years. lol
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  #3057    
Old August 25th, 2012 (10:01 AM).
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Hey, folks. Got a question for y'all.

There are these terms for attraction that don't get used very much. Androphilia and gynephilia. They mean "attracted to males/masculinity" or, of course, "attracted to females/femininity." They're words that make a person not need to specify their own gender to describe their attraction. Here is an infographic.

Spoiler:


(Additionally, there are terms like ambiphilia for attraction toward intersex people, etc. etc.)

Oh, yeah. The question. Do any of you like this alternate system? See potential for its use? Think it's unnecessary?

Personally, I find it rather useful. Or I would if they were terms that were widely understood, but since they aren't it's kind of confusing if I tried to use them.
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  #3058    
Old August 25th, 2012 (11:56 AM).
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I think it's a bit unnecessary.. for example it's like calling people "homo-sapiens" instead of "people".. really they mean the same thing but there is just a term now for it.

Same with heterosexual female and androphilic female. Same thing so why not just use the more common one? My spellcheck is even telling me the word androphilic is wrong haha. Just my thoughts though. If you didn't want to announce what gender you are, you can just simply say "I like males/ I'm attracted to masculinity" and people would understand that more than throwing out this scientific term.
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Old August 25th, 2012 (01:09 PM).
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I'd agree, it seems excessive.

About the other questions, who was your first and when did you know.

For me it sort of went hand in hand, and I remember every detail, cause I'm a hopeless romantic like that.

It was the girl from down the street. We were in the same year and had been good friends since were were little when I first moved into the neighborhood when I was ten. We were best friends, and when we were in like 8th grade she came out to me, and I was okay with it, more than okay really, since I had yet to come out.

Right after we started high school we were having movie night at my house, and my parents were in Chicago for work. She fell asleep at like three in the morning, but started to fall asleep on me. I wasn't always a person comfortable with people touching me, it's a part of my asperger's syndrome, but I got used to it at that point with the help of my friends. And her resting on my shoulder was nice. It felt natural when I lifted my arm and wrapped it around her, but I was nervous just after that I'd freaked her out, that I'd crossed that invisible friendship line. Instead she actually moved closer and grabbed my hand. I remember my heart pounding in my chest, but when she sighed and snuggled closer everything just felt natural. We both fell asleep like that, and when she started moving in the morning, I woke at the same time. I had no idea what to say, and apparently she didn't either cause right there she kissed me full on. I kissed back and that was the start.

We were head over heels over each other, completely twitterpated. I was the only person she'd come out to, so it was a secret. It was easy to hide our relationship from our parents. Since were were such good friends before we were always together anyways. It did get in the way of school friends after a while, and I ended up telling my other best friend, who was cool with it and ever classy with his response of "You'd so be the guy in that relationship". She told a few of her friends too. We were in love.

I had no problem keeping it from my parents. We weren't that close. But she was really close to her parents, and felt guilty. I said I'd support her no matter what happened. She was afraid that they'd kick her out, and I said then she could live with me, my parents wouldn't care. We decided that she'd tell them that she was lesbian, but not that she and I were in a relationship. I would be there to support her, as a 'friend'. They were absolutely livid when she told them. They kicked me out, saying they were sorry, that they understood that I wanted to support my friend, but they needed to talk to their daughter alone. I remember standing in the doorway, and seeing her crying in the dining room and I felt so angry at the sight of that. I seriously remember wanting to rip through the screen door and just hug her. They ended up grounding her and explicitly not wanting to talk to her again about it, not even mention it.

After that her parent's relationship started to get ****ed up, I mean it was rocky as it was, but she sort of felt that her coming out was the last straw. Her parents ended up getting a divorce about five months after. She moved away with her mother to another state where she had family. We didn't see each other for years after that when she told her mother she was 'visiting' the schools here for college. It had been two years and I skipped school every day that week and all we did was walk around downtown and go to movies. It was like she'd never left. That was the last time we saw each other for a few more years, she visited again last month. Same thing.

We moved on, I still love her, but distance ruined the relationship. Even today my parents still don't know that we had been together. It's sort of funny.
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  #3060    
Old August 26th, 2012 (08:59 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Kura:
I think it's a bit unnecessary.. for example it's like calling people "homo-sapiens" instead of "people".. really they mean the same thing but there is just a term now for it.

Same with heterosexual female and androphilic female. Same thing so why not just use the more common one? My spellcheck is even telling me the word androphilic is wrong haha. Just my thoughts though. If you didn't want to announce what gender you are, you can just simply say "I like males/ I'm attracted to masculinity" and people would understand that more than throwing out this scientific term.
The whole terminology thing aside (which I admit is cumbersome, but then I'm sure that was true with words like "bisexual" and "transgender" once, too), it's not the easiest thing for people who are intersexed or genderqueer to use terms like "heterosexual" because... what would it mean in their cases? Rhetorical question, btw. Not asking you to solve this.

And Phantom, you really are a hopeless romantic.
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  #3061    
Old August 26th, 2012 (04:07 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
The whole terminology thing aside (which I admit is cumbersome, but then I'm sure that was true with words like "bisexual" and "transgender" once, too), it's not the easiest thing for people who are intersexed or genderqueer to use terms like "heterosexual" because... what would it mean in their cases? Rhetorical question, btw. Not asking you to solve this.

And Phantom, you really are a hopeless romantic.
Yeah but wasn't it true with those words before there was really a word for it besides "I like both girls and boys?" that's why I think this new thing isn't necessary.. we have words now so it is a bit redundant to me. Who knows though.. maybe it'll catch on?
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  #3062    
Old August 26th, 2012 (05:49 PM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Phantom, your story was beautiful! Scarfy, you're a mean old cynic

I agree that these new terms probably aren't entirely necessary, but I do like them and I can see how they'd be useful. As Scarf said, they're great for the genderqueer and intersex community who may not know whether the more correct term for them would be 'heterosexual' and 'homosexual' because they're not sure of what their gender is themselves, and these words disregard your own gender entirely (way to repeat everything that was already said, Andy!) They're probably also good for more private people who are of the 'my life is none of your business' school of thought as they reveal less about you than the -sexual terms do.

In addition, the words probably are necessary as far as the English language is concerned. We have a whole set of 'philia' words to describe human attraction - paedophilia, necrophilia, ephebophilia, xenophilia, just to name a few. The set would be incomplete without the two most basic ones of all - the attraction toward males and females. And if we have the words, what's the harm in using them if they're more convenient?
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  #3063    
Old August 26th, 2012 (09:57 PM).
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They're really not more convenient though, since no one knows what they mean. lol

So... I've moved in with my new roommates... and none of them ever check facebook apparently, because they don't know that I'm bi. I was so happy that I was able to get it out online too =/. I guess enough other people know though... so they'll probably find out on their own.
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Old August 27th, 2012 (11:37 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
Scarfy, you're a mean old cynic :P
You think I'm mean? :(

Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
In addition, the words probably are necessary as far as the English language is concerned. We have a whole set of 'philia' words to describe human attraction - paedophilia, necrophilia, ephebophilia, xenophilia, just to name a few. The set would be incomplete without the two most basic ones of all - the attraction toward males and females. And if we have the words, what's the harm in using them if they're more convenient?
Very good, positive examples there, Shining. (b'')b

For the record, I'm one of those hipster types who don't like using labels and would rather people all just kept open minds and didn't assume about anyone, but I also like equal representation so I feel like there could be a place for new words if we're gonna be using words in this sense. I'm all about possibilities.

And while I'm posting I feel like I should post some news, but it's mostly bad stuff from what I'm gleaning so I think I'll hold back. The US does now have its first openly gay general so... yay?
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Old August 29th, 2012 (10:29 PM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Of course I don't think you're mean! The is meant to convey a joking energy. It seems someone got a bit cocky and skipped some of their Internetiquette 101 classes!

Quote originally posted by QuilavaKing:
So... I've moved in with my new roommates... and none of them ever check facebook apparently, because they don't know that I'm bi. I was so happy that I was able to get it out online too =/. I guess enough other people know though... so they'll probably find out on their own.
Well I guess you just go onto Plan B! Don't bother telling them unless it comes up and then just naturally slip it into the conversation, or just wait until they find out on their own and approach you about it.
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Old August 30th, 2012 (04:28 PM).
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Nice examples of philias there Andy, very positive ones indeed >.>
Aww thats a bummer Quil, but I agree with Andy, they have a way to find out now so you don't need to tell them. Im sure that gets a lot of your chest doesnt it! As long as youre happy with how things are with them you really dont need to bring it up or tell them until they approach you about it, so you're basically free now to be yourself completely now.
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Old August 30th, 2012 (06:57 PM).
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Aha! Roommates.

Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
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Old August 30th, 2012 (11:34 PM).
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Hey, maybe I can get the house to myself if I tell them I'm gay! Fool proof plan. :D
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Old August 31st, 2012 (02:46 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Retro Bug:
Aha! Roommates.

Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
Wow, that guy is horrible :\ I don't want to say anything, but I'm pretty sure I know what his religion is...
Good thing you got rid of him, though Maybe you can now get a roommate that'll allow girls in the dorm....

Quote originally posted by QuilavaKing:
Hey, maybe I can get the house to myself if I tell them I'm gay! Fool proof plan. :D
Yeah, it is a fool-proof plan, if all of your roommates are intolerant bastards xD
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Old August 31st, 2012 (12:08 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Retro Bug:
Aha! Roommates.

Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."
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Old August 31st, 2012 (06:41 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."

I am now running for President. That is my campaign slogan. Vote for Phantom!
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Old August 31st, 2012 (07:40 PM).
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Hey everyone!

I'd like to join the club
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Old September 1st, 2012 (06:19 AM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Hey there Gliberty, welcome!

Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? Are you gay, straight, bi, other, transgender? If you're gay or etc, are you out? Are your parents OK with it? That kinda thing

Quote originally posted by Retro Bug:
Aha! Roommates.

Yes, okay, so I had a roommate but then he cancelled the roommate contract. Something happened that I don't care to go into detail about. Then I got another one who I thought was going to be a chill guy. Except I had my female friend over and I can see that he was acting all weird and then when I came in (after going out to a party with her) he told me that because of his religious views he doesn't want girls in the dorm. I said okay because I try to be tolerant of other people's (religious) views. Though, most of my friends are girls but whatever. And, then on this roommate sheet we had to fill out to get to know each other I put I was gay because I thought it's a good of a time as ever. Anyway, when he read it he packed a bag and walked out the room. Needtheless to say he didn't spend much time in the room after that and he didn't even sleep in our room and he moved out yesterday. Sooo now I'm roommate free.
Yeah... I'm gonna go with Scarf on this one lol. When I read this (and I'm sure I replied to it when I read it, but I guess the disgust was just swirling through my head and I didn't actually write it down) I just thought "what. the. ****."

I don't take to people's religious views very well. So if somebody had tried to use their religion to impose on who I could bring into my own home, I would be very much not OK with that. Even without the whole gay thing, I would have gotten rid of him the fastest I could.

The worst part of this is that I can see it in my head lol. He's just reading your sheet then gets to that part. All of a sudden he puts the sheet down, walks to his room, puts his stuff in a bag and leaves. That would have just infuriated me, it's like you were diseased or something. Oh well, that jackass will get what's coming to him, one way or another.
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Old September 1st, 2012 (08:56 AM).
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Retro Bug Retro Bug is offline
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Quote originally posted by LightningAlex:
Wow, that guy is horrible :\ I don't want to say anything, but I'm pretty sure I know what his religion is...
Good thing you got rid of him, though :) Maybe you can now get a roommate that'll allow girls in the dorm....
You do? Me and my friend were trying to figure it out, what is it? Aha, I sure hope so or not get another one. I like living alone.


Quote originally posted by Scarf:
You're a lot more tolerant of people's religious views that I would have been. I mean, people can believe what they want, but if I were in your shoes I would have said "If you don't want girls in the dorm, don't bring girls into the dorm." Kind of like my stance on gay marriage which is "if you don't like gay marriage don't get gay-married."
Really? Hmm, I just didn't want to be rude and thought that's what "a respectable" person would've done. I really didn't realize how dumb it was until my (girl) friends wanted to come over and I had to deny them that privilege.

Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
Yeah... I'm gonna go with Scarf on this one lol. When I read this (and I'm sure I replied to it when I read it, but I guess the disgust was just swirling through my head and I didn't actually write it down) I just thought "what. the. ****."

I don't take to people's religious views very well. So if somebody had tried to use their religion to impose on who I could bring into my own home, I would be very much not OK with that. Even without the whole gay thing, I would have gotten rid of him the fastest I could.

The worst part of this is that I can see it in my head lol. He's just reading your sheet then gets to that part. All of a sudden he puts the sheet down, walks to his room, puts his stuff in a bag and leaves. That would have just infuriated me, it's like you were diseased or something. Oh well, that jackass will get what's coming to him, one way or another.
(C/P what I said to Scarf here~) Also, it did make me pretty mad but I knew that he'd would be requesting a change, which made me happier. I just wasn't sure what to do in that situation as I've never been it before. It definitely prepares me and hopefully next time I don't get a prick.
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Old September 1st, 2012 (03:40 PM).
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-ty- -ty- is offline
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Hey guys,

I have returned to the PC, after what has been nearly 6 months, maybe more.
Not much new has happened in my life though; although, it seems like my political science courses discussions have been gearing toward some LGBTQ-related issues due to the upcoming election.

This one girl actually yelled out, "you know what, I just don't care; it's wrong because I know it's wrong," after I pointed out her flawed propositions in a ten minute long rebuttal, since she never took the time to formulate an opinion rather than restating a learned prejudice. After she said that though, I just kept my composure and smiled and said, "well, you just proved my point; ultimately you are saying something is wrong using the fact that it is wrong to prove that point. That is a circular argument, which is derived from a prejudice rather than a philosophical argument." After that, she just glared down at her desk in anguish and didn't participate in any of the class discussion for the remaining hour of class.

Oh boy, I can just tell this is going to be a great year. XD
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