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  #3201    
Old November 7th, 2012 (01:20 PM).
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Wow, looks like the US are becoming more and more gay-friendly every day. I'm so glad for you guys
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  #3202    
Old November 7th, 2012 (01:38 PM).
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Hey Andy I just read your story; I hope everything continues to go fairly well for you!
I know for me I felt both like throwing-up and smiling simultaneously when I told my parents that I was 'gfay' XD

To add to the pro-gay election results, let's not forget about President Obama's reelection, simply because it is likely that two justices will retire this term, and I believe that the Supreme Court will be the institution that uproots marriage inequality if there are 5 or 6 liberal-leaning justices. All-in-all, I was happy with most of the election result across the board my first election!
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  #3203    
Old November 7th, 2012 (09:52 PM).
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aww Andy that was beautiful

I love how you made the conversation less Brady-Bunch-esque than it needed to be

and the first openly gay person on big brother won and then proposed it was so beautiful

so many feels
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  #3204    
Old November 8th, 2012 (02:29 AM).
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andy that was actually super gay but aw ilu
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  #3205    
Old November 9th, 2012 (02:01 PM).
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Yay Andy!

I am sooo proud of Minnesota!

And my grandma! She had SEVEN "VOTE NO" signs on her lawn. SEVEN.

I love my granny.
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  #3206    
Old November 10th, 2012 (12:33 PM).
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I love your granny, too. I really wish we'd hurry up with that legal challenge to Prop 8 so it can get to the Supreme Court which can then overturn all the anti-gay marriage laws in the country and we can finally have that done with.
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  #3207    
Old November 11th, 2012 (08:02 AM).
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QueenMadz
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Hello all, I would like to join this group ^,^

I'm Pansexual ,Transgender (MtF) and Genderqueer

So hello all <3
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  #3208    
Old November 11th, 2012 (10:25 AM).
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Welcome aboard. We used to have a crown we passed around, but I think it got lost several pages back.

Since you're new you can tell us something more about yourself, if you'd like, like where you're from or if you're out to anyone, or whatever you're comfortable with. Or you could just wait until the conversation picks back up. Anyway, hope to see you around.
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  #3209    
Old November 11th, 2012 (10:32 AM).
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Welcome, QueenMadz. I'm sure you'll enjoy your stay here
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  #3210    
Old November 11th, 2012 (12:06 PM).
Destructor
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I'm freaking terrified. I want to come out and just tell my family to get it over with. I'd rather live with their hate for who I am than live in fear that they might find out. I have planned to do it tonight, which is probobly a bad time, but I don't care. I will be posting tomorrow to say how it goes, but right now I'm so scared it's making me sick to my stomach and pale.
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  #3211    
Old November 11th, 2012 (01:07 PM).
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Do you still depend on your parents? If the answer is yes in any way (Money, food, a place to live), then I wouldn't do it. If I were you, I'd try and convince them that I'm straight.

But if you don't depend on your parents, if you're making money on your own, and have a place to live, then it'd be a lot safer to do it.
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  #3212    
Old November 11th, 2012 (05:07 PM).
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Well to talk about myself, hmm.

Well I recently came out as Trans, I have had a mental battle with gender and I eventually came to terms with who I am after a good year or so. I did originally come out as trans back in February, but there was too much stuff going on at the time, I just ended up rejecting it all. While I'm not ashamed of being trans, I am afraid of some of the things I could end up dealing with such as not being able to pass (voice being the big one) or not being able to find romance due to me being trans*. I really wish I could just "womanize" myself and have a voice and apperence that matches to what I want.

I wish society wasn't such a butt about this kind of stuff. :x
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  #3213    
Old November 12th, 2012 (04:22 AM).
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I'm not turned off by trans, I wish society wouldn't portray thdm as weird, that's just unfair.
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  #3214    
Old November 12th, 2012 (06:47 AM). Edited November 12th, 2012 by Sodom.
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Welcome, QueenMadz! It's great to meet you :D

Also thank you to everybody else who posted nice things about my coming out story since I last posted, it means a lot to me

Quote originally posted by Destructor:
I'm freaking terrified. I want to come out and just tell my family to get it over with. I'd rather live with their hate for who I am than live in fear that they might find out. I have planned to do it tonight, which is probobly a bad time, but I don't care. I will be posting tomorrow to say how it goes, but right now I'm so scared it's making me sick to my stomach and pale.
If there's one thing I've learned recently, it's that living in fear is the worst thing you can do. But if you're going to come out (and there's a strong chance I'm already too late to give you this advice, but I'm going to persevere just in case I'm not) then you have to make sure you do it right.

Firstly, don't do it with everybody at once. Get one person on their own at a time and do it one on one. This does prolong the horrifying experience, but it makes each session a lot less pressure-packed. If everybody reacts badly, then you don't want them all in the same room at the same time.

Find the person who you believe is most likely to be accepting of the news, and start with them. Be it a sibling or one of your parents, it doesn't matter. Give them a little time to absorb, and then if they don't react too badly, you know you have at least a bit of support behind you for the next person you tell. Also, if any of your friends know that you're gay, let them know that you're going to tell your family and that if it goes badly, you might need to spend the night at their place.

The amount of people who actually get kicked out for being gay is dramatically decreasing, so I'm not personally too worried about that, but you know your family better than I do so I'd go with your own gut on that one. I think the fact that they already think you're gay and haven't kicked you out is a good indication that they won't even when they do have it confirmed.

You did mention before that they were abusing you about this. Could you maybe elaborate on that if it's not too painful to talk about?

Also good luck. Let us know how it goes/went

Quote originally posted by QueenMadz:
Well I recently came out as Trans, I have had a mental battle with gender and I eventually came to terms with who I am after a good year or so. I did originally come out as trans back in February, but there was too much stuff going on at the time, I just ended up rejecting it all. While I'm not ashamed of being trans, I am afraid of some of the things I could end up dealing with such as not being able to pass (voice being the big one) or not being able to find romance due to me being trans*. I really wish I could just "womanize" myself and have a voice and apperence that matches to what I want.
I'm glad you've gotten to a place where you're happy with yourself . When you came out to other people, how did they react? Did you meet much resistance? I imagine it's worse than coming out as gay because it generally means an even tougher road than gay people generally face.
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  #3215    
Old November 12th, 2012 (07:49 AM).
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I agree. It seems like people are much more accepting of gays then trans. Congrats on coming out though Andy! And welcome to the group, Destructor!
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  #3216    
Old November 12th, 2012 (11:12 PM).
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Is it transphobic to say "You've failed as a parent if your son thinks he's a girl"?
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  #3217    
Old November 12th, 2012 (11:47 PM).
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I'd assume it would be. How would you feel if someone asked you that?
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  #3218    
Old November 13th, 2012 (12:11 AM).
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It's incredibly Transphobic, considering parenting skills have nothing to do with a persons gender identity, I hope no one would ever say that. And other than being transphobic and incorrect, it's rude to insult someone's parenting skills.
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  #3219    
Old November 13th, 2012 (12:31 AM).
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erase the noise.
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I would call it less Transphobic, and more ignorant. I mean, it makes them sound stupid, but phobia is fear, and they sound more just uneducated than afraid. If someone ever said that to me, I'd tell them to sit down and they would be educated on the matter. Then if they reacted badly, and did spout hate, I would call them Transphobic and annoying. -w-
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  #3220    
Old November 13th, 2012 (12:46 AM).
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My mom said the same thing about herself when I came out to her. I wouldn't say it's any kind of phobic though, it's just stupid.
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  #3221    
Old November 13th, 2012 (02:26 AM).
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guys there's the most adorable short film on youtube it's in another language (brazil i think) but it's still completely adorable

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wav5KjBHbI&feature=youtu.be

It's so cute that I had eye crinkles I don't know how to embed it but you need subtitles which can be turned on by clicking the second box on the bottom right of the video (only on browsers)

sorry for straying from the conversation feel free to ignore me
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  #3222    
Old November 13th, 2012 (03:16 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Impo:
guys there's the most adorable short film on youtube it's in another language (brazil i think) but it's still completely adorable

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wav5KjBHbI&feature=youtu.be

It's so cute that I had eye crinkles I don't know how to embed it but you need subtitles which can be turned on by clicking the second box on the bottom right of the video (only on browsers)

sorry for straying from the conversation feel free to ignore me
You're right, that really is an adorable short film I wish things would work like that in real life...

Anyway, to add up to the "phobia" talk, I never understood why the hatred towards homosexuals, and in this case, transsexuals, is called a "phobia". No-one is scared, they're just idiotic jerks!
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  #3223    
Old November 13th, 2012 (03:41 AM). Edited November 13th, 2012 by Zet.
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Clinically speaking; phobia is fear, but non-clinical it can be negative attitudes. Some people can actually be afraid of homosexuals, while others can also be afraid of heterosexuals.
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  #3224    
Old November 13th, 2012 (11:38 AM).
Destructor
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Well, I came out to mom.

I went up to mom and said I had to tell her something to which she said alright. I asked her to sit down and when she said asked why, I told her it was something really important. Her reply "Well, it's about time" I guessed she just knew what I was going to tell her. So, she sat down and I explained everything from when I first figured out I was gay until the other dayand she had a smile on the whole time. Inside I was so happy, I actually thought I got her wrong the whole time. When I was done, she stood up and gave me a hug and told me I had nothing to hide from her and that she figured but didn't want to jump to the conclusion just in case. I felt like I was going to cry I was so happy and then....

"But still, I don't know what I did to deserve this. Are you punishing me for something? Do you hate me?"

I tried to explain to her that it's just who I am but...

"No, I don't want to hear it. I don't. I understand I failed as a parent and I understand I raised some kind of creature and I can accept that, though I don't have to live with it"

And so here I am, on my laptop, at my grandparents place where they, much to my surprise, accepted me for who I am and still seem to love me. Mom hates and wants nothing to do with me now.
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  #3225    
Old November 13th, 2012 (11:43 AM).
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Oh my gosh, I can't even begin to imagine how horrible it is. I'm so glad your grandparents are so accepting, I'm so so sorry. I really hope she's comes around, this must be a major shock too her, sure, she might have had an inkling before but facing the reality must be difficult. It shouldn't be, but it is. For the time being let her cool down I suppose and stay with your grandparents, maybe they'll try and talk some sense into her...

I'm sure she still loves you, you're still her child, after all.
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