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  #301    
Old July 17th, 2011, 01:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Landorus View Post
But, they have a right to know.
This is just a technical semantic issue and probably not even worth posting, but I don't know that this is true. A gay person should of course tell the people in his or her life, but because it is mentally healthy for the person him/herself and because he/she shouldn't have to hide, not because they have a right to know. When it comes to something that's about you, nobody has a right to know anything you don't want to tell them.

This doesn't affect my advice or Landorus's, it was just a semantic detail that didn't sit well with me for some reason lol
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  #302    
Old July 17th, 2011, 10:48 AM
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I'd like to join, please. I've been questioning myself for about a year...
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  #303    
Old July 17th, 2011, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Eeveon View Post
I'd like to join, please. I've been questioning myself for about a year...
Let me be the first to welcome you eeveon,(weither you're Gay/straight/Bi/Bi-curious or attracted to purple spotted dinosaurs.)

Also, I'd like to ask a question to the group (came up in a conversation I had recently), Why do you think there's such stigma towards the LGBT part of society. (Cue philosophical debate)
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  #304    
Old July 17th, 2011, 03:28 PM
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Originally Posted by NurseBarbra View Post
Why do you think there's such stigma towards the LGBT part of society. (Cue philosophical debate)
  1. Religion
  2. Takes a man and a woman to make a baby
  3. Its different
  4. Homophobes are scared that people will think their gay too (which most of the time they are)
  5. People are scared your gonna rape them in the changing rooms
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  #305    
Old July 17th, 2011, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Eeveon View Post
I'd like to join, please. I've been questioning myself for about a year...
Welcome Eeveon! If you're questioning you've come to the right place, and if you have any questions to ask us we'd be more than willing to help you

Quote:
Originally Posted by NurseBarbra View Post
Why do you think there's such stigma towards the LGBT part of society. (Cue philosophical debate)
First of all, everything Hybrid Trainer said.

Secondly, I must put emphasis on religion. No matter how many people swear that their church is gay-friendly, I don't believe it. Religion is the major barrier to equality and the main excuse people use for their homophobia.
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  #306    
Old July 17th, 2011, 04:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NurseBarbra View Post
Why do you think there's such stigma towards the LGBT part of society. (Cue philosophical debate)
First, everything the other two said, along with the emphasis on religious troubles with the LGBT society.

Second, an emphasis on the fifth one Hybrid Trainer posted; yes, the one he crossed out. A lot of same-sex people think that, when you come out to them, it instantly means you're attracted to them and are likely to hit on them or rape them. It's an extremely self-centered reason for homophobia, and gets even worse as it spreads amongst others ("Hey, did you hear about x being gay?" "Really? Ew, they better not hit on me or something!"). I see it quite a lot in both of my high schools (one in first and second year, another one for junior and senior year).
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  #307    
Old July 17th, 2011, 06:28 PM
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Well i only crossed it out because after school the only people who say that sort of thing are either complete morons or past rape victims x]
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  #308    
Old July 17th, 2011, 09:10 PM
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Hey there, tehGDS, of course you can join.

The first thing that needs to be said immediately is that clearly your parents are not good enough and they don't deserve you. Never let anybody make you think that you are the bad person in this scenario, because they are the disgusting bullies. The bad part is, right now I'm sure you need them financially, so for now you're kinda stuck. You shouldn't have to hide, but I guess for now you do. It breaks my heart to hear that there are parents who would be this way to their own child over something so insignificant.

The only advice I can give is wait until you're 18 and then tell them when you're in college. The more independent you are, the less you need them. If I were you and my parents had told me they'd kick me out of home for being gay, then what I would do is find an incredibly creative way to let them know you're gay that will inflict the largest amount of pain on them possible. Use your homosexuality and their homophobia as weapons. If they're religious, go into a detailed speech about how much fun you'll have living in sin. If they're just bigoted for no reason (not that religion is a reason) then at the very least you can put on your most condescending smile and let them know in no uncertain terms that you are gay and that you are a better person now than they could ever hope to be.

*snaps out of rage-trance* Wow, I'm a little bitter, aren't I?
Sure lol, I guess I can grab the nearest guy say I'm gay and make love to him right in front of them <3 lol Thanks for that, welcome lol, I think that I might just keep it to myself, I actually like my parents though they're horrible at times I know they love me so um I don't want to cause them pain. How did you know my mom is religious? lol Lucky guess..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Landorus
Welcome to the club!

I can't stress this enough. Do not come out to your parents until you are living by yourself and your life is stable enough to risk losing them.

Right now, you're dependent on them. So, if you are risking ruining your life just to tell them it isn't worth telling them. But, they have a right to know. You should tell them eventually, in your case it will take longer.

Your friends..I don't know what to say about it. On one hand I want to call them rude and that you don't deserve them. But on another, some of my friends and I do the same thing. For example, my friend Isaiah (who is black..and gay for that matter) he calls me a honkey and makes fun of me whenever I do something stereotypically white. When he comes up behind me I'll scream "Don't rob me!" and I'll make fun of him whenever he does something stereotypical. We do that because we think racism is so stupid it's funny and that's our way of making fun of racism.

Just try and don't let being gay control your life. Some people put too much focus on it. You're gay, so what? Who you have sex with doesn't matter, although people don't see it that way sometimes. Just ignore those people (although, that is very hard to do at times) and focus on the good people!

Although it sounds cheesy (I think it does anyways)..it does get better.

(I'm using a lot of parenthesis.)
Thanks for that really warm welcome ^ ^, I feel appreciated Well, Bye America! Good luck with your weed and Homophobic things : D , hello Japan freedom, work, (censored) and acceptance Lol that's my future tbh. My friends and I always joke around like that, I say why are you so emo, he says, because you touch yourself at night, or because.. then he yells Jason is a F****t, then he gets something coming to him lol, another example coming to my friends, he says, Get ready to hear something really gay, I mean what? lol "One time in band camp.. I mean hi" Lol, we just joke around like that, but if I don't know them and they start annoying me then um, I ask why are they getting into my business you know, lol, nosy haters make me angry, you know those people who have something up their butt all the time and constantly getting into your business, eugh.. I had a run in once, he just pretended to be my friend I never felt betrayed before.. but yeah you know, people gonna hate, all you got to do is smile, that's all worth it. : )
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  #309    
Old July 18th, 2011, 09:44 PM
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Originally Posted by NurseBarbra View Post
Also, I'd like to ask a question to the group (came up in a conversation I had recently), Why do you think there's such stigma towards the LGBT part of society. (Cue philosophical debate)
Anything LGBT that's existed in the past has not exactly been at the front of history books so there aren't well known (outside of the right circles) institutions and examples in history that show queer people in a normal/positive/everyday light. It's still a bit of a shadowy existence.

I was going to say a lot more on that but I'm suddenly without battery power on my laptop. :(
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  #310    
Old July 18th, 2011, 11:45 PM
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I need opinions from LGBT people on this. Every semester, some GSA members try to pass a bill that would ban blood drives on our campus. Every semester, it fails.

Their reasoning is that the FDA policy tht says that all men "who have had sex with another man, even just once, since 1970" are not allowed to give blood is discriminatory; thus, we shouldn't allow blood drives on our campus.

The bill has been introduced yet again. Again, I am opposing it. I'm the Senator that represnts GSA in the AS Senate, so some of my constituents got made at me for it. My GOP party leaders are also opposed to it, and the Majority Leader (our party) is glad that I'm opposed to it.

Should I changed my position? Why or why not? I've went against the party leadership on LGBT issues a lot in the past, so it shouldn't shock anyone.

Last edited by FreakyLocz14; July 21st, 2011 at 01:22 AM.
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  #311    
Old July 19th, 2011, 03:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
I need opinions from LGBT people on this. Every semester, some GSA members try to pass a bill that would ban blood drives on our campus. Every semester, it fails.

Their reasoning is that the FDA policy tht says that all men "who have had sex with another man, even just once, since 1970" are not allowed to give blood is discriminatory; thus, we shouldn't allow blood drives on our campus.

The bill has been introduced yet again. Again, I am opposing it. I'm the Senato that represnts GSA in the AS Senate, so some of my constituents got made at me for it. My GOP party leaders are also opposed to it, and the Majority Leader (our party) is glad that I'm opposed to it.

Should I changed my position? Why or why not? I've went against the party leadership on LGBT issues a lot in the past, so it shouldn't shock anyone.
No, don't change your position on that. While I know the reasoning behind the bill, HIV and AIDS are a high risk with intercourse between two males, I believe that the bill is horribly discriminatory. It's basically saying that all gay men must have HIV and AIDS. While there is a high risk for it between two men, HIV and AIDS isn't limited to gay men. A straight man or woman could get the disease if they're not careful enough. So continue fighting this bill.

I'm joining this group by the way for I am bisexual myself.
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  #312    
Old July 19th, 2011, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by roen52 View Post
No, don't change your position on that. While I know the reasoning behind the bill, HIV and AIDS are a high risk with intercourse between two males, I believe that the bill is horribly discriminatory. It's basically saying that all gay men must have HIV and AIDS. While there is a high risk for it between two men, HIV and AIDS isn't limited to gay men. A straight man or woman could get the disease if they're not careful enough. So continue fighting this bill.

I'm joining this group by the way for I am bisexual myself.
I didn't oppose it in the past because I believed that AIDS is a "gay disease". I opposed it because I felt that depriving life-saving blood for a political cause, even if I happen to agree with it, is wrong.
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  #313    
Old July 20th, 2011, 10:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
I need opinions from LGBT people on this. Every semester, some GSA members try to pass a bill that would ban blood drives on our campus. Every semester, it fails.

Their reasoning is that the FDA policy tht says that all men "who have had sex with another man, even just once, since 1970" are not allowed to give blood is discriminatory; thus, we shouldn't allow blood drives on our campus.

The bill has been introduced yet again. Again, I am opposing it. I'm the Senato that represnts GSA in the AS Senate, so some of my constituents got made at me for it. My GOP party leaders are also opposed to it, and the Majority Leader (our party) is glad that I'm opposed to it.

Should I changed my position? Why or why not? I've went against the party leadership on LGBT issues a lot in the past, so it shouldn't shock anyone.
I think that you should continue to oppose the bill. There are many heterosexual people who have HIV/AIDS. To be equitable, the FDA should have to extend the prohibition to all individuals who are or have been sexually active. But sometimes, for the better good, you have to look past the discrimination, and analyze what the consequences would be if the blood drives were not allowed on campuses. If more and more campuses created bills like this, the unintended consequence might be less blood supplies. And obviously blood is vital in the survival of patients who need blood transfusions. Correct me if I misinterpreted what the contents of the bill were.

Oh, by the way, I would like to become a member of the group. I just want to add that, I do realize at times I let myself get a little to fired up about these issues b/c of my past experiences. I will try use restraint so that we can discuss and constructively debate, not argue.



Well, I guess I should give a bit of background like everyone else did. I am from the upper peninsula of Michigan, if you are not familiar with area, it is very conservative; everyone goes hunting, there are 13 churches within a mile of my house, and talking about homosexuality is kind of a taboo. There really are not very many "out" gay people who live here. With that being said, I have kinda suffered from self-hatred throughout high school; I literally believed that I could fake a heterosexual life. But after failed attempts dating women, I just new that it would not be fair to them or myself to feign a relationship. I think I reversed my self-hatred when I met my boyfriend. I realized that if I were born straight that I would not have met him. Thus, my metamorphosis into a die-hard gay rights advocate began. I went from one extreme to the other!



Well then. I have a question for everyone. As a kid I was extremely outgoing, but as I hit puberty, and I became more self-conscious about my sexuality, I began to develop social phobias. The root causes of like self-hatred and trying to act "straight", may not be a problem anymore, but I still have social phobias and feel extremely uncomfortable in front of men who kind of exude their "straightness" in particular. Like to the point where I know I am sending unfriendly vibes, but I cannot seem to control my body language. According to mental health specialists, gay teens are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, commit suicide, or suffer from other mental/emotional complications because of the the challenges they face.

Does anyone else have or know other GLBT people that have social phobias, or mental health problems in general ? If so, what do you think we should do to prevent GLBT people from suffering from mental/emotional complications? Should parents ask their children about their sexuality, and take preventative action by seeking counseling?
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Last edited by -ty-; July 20th, 2011 at 11:16 PM.
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  #314    
Old July 21st, 2011, 01:31 AM
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This has already happened at another Califoria campus:
SJSU bans blood drives over gay donor law.

Text of the bill for all those who are interested:

IN THE ASSOCIATED STUDENTS HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
H.R. 2: NON-DISCRIMINATION IN GIVING BLOOD ACT

The current policy of the Food and Drug Administration gpermanently barring any male who has had sexual contact with another male, even just once, since 1970, violates the nondiscrimination policy of this campus.

Upon the passage of this bill, any event intended to collect blood from donors is prohibited from taking place on University property until the ban on the donation of blood from men who have had sexual contact with men is lifted.

Note that this is a bill I am writing (haven't submitted yet). Please share your thoughts with me so that I can decide to introduce it or not:

IN THE ASSOCIATED STUDENTS SENATE
S.B. 1: BLOOD DRIVE DISCRIMINATION AWARENESS ACT

While we find the exluscion of men who have had sexual contact with men to be unfortunate and unnecessary due to great advances in the ability to screen donated blood for HIV/AIDS contamination effectively, we feel that prohibiting all blood donation events on this campus would harm many people in need who have no say in whether or not men who have had sexual contact with men can donate blood.

Upon the passage of this bill, the Associated Students General Assembly shall do its best to make the student population that it represents are informed about the Food and Drug Administartion's dicriminatory exclusion policy so that students may decide for themselves whether or not they will comofortable donating blood while that policy is in place.

This bill will give the AS the authority to organize events, create and distribute literature, run adverstisements in campus media, and speak in classrooms in a manner that distrupts normal instruction as little as possible in order to inform stuents of the FDA's discriminatory policy.

Last edited by FreakyLocz14; July 21st, 2011 at 01:51 AM.
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  #315    
Old July 21st, 2011, 01:57 AM
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Well, I do oppose the FDA's policy. But If the college has no control over the policy, I do believe that gay people who are being discriminated against will have to bite the bullet so that patients undergoing surgeries have an adequate supply of blood.

I do understand that if the bill is passed that the FDA may become worried that blood supplies may drop, and consequently, they might lift the ban.

It is a tough call, but I have to say that holding-out on blood for patients is just not the right way to negotiate with the FDA, although it may be effective.
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  #316    
Old July 21st, 2011, 10:32 AM
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Hi, I'd like to join. I'm 16 gay and came out to my parents last week. The whole family is really supportive and now I'm out to everyone ;D

So far, the vacation doesn't really go as planned and there's a lot that needs to happen by the beginning of the next school year in september xd
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  #317    
Old July 21st, 2011, 12:00 PM
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I guess I should join this now... I've been fighting it for nigh on a year now, but I guess I'm bi... maybe even Gay, I'm not entirely sure yet. It's really weird for me, because I'm a Christian, and while I have always fully supported Gay rights, I still don't like the thought of it, for obvious religious reasons.

I'm sure my mom would freak out if I told her, but I doubt I'll ever actually have to. I've never shown any interest in either sex to them, even when they tried asking me about it, I just ignored them. So, they're kind of used to that. Either way, I imagine it would be kinda nice to not have to hide it.

(Also, I don't think I've ever said nigh before. lol)
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  #318    
Old July 21st, 2011, 02:48 PM
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QuilavaKing,

I don't advocate actively coming out. I advoacte passively being out.
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  #319    
Old July 21st, 2011, 03:14 PM
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Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
QuilavaKing,

I don't advocate actively coming out. I advoacte passively being out.
At some point his parents will notice the difference and and ask him if he's gay and then he'll have to explain. Either way he'll have to come out by explaining to people, it's not like if he starts mentioning his boyfriend or whatever everyone will just ignore it if they knew him as straight all their lives. I feel like I would be offended if a good friend of mine suddenly decided to "passively be out" without saying anything, because I would feel like he or she was too uncomfortable to actually tell me upfront and instead just hoped I would get it from context clues so we couldn't have a real discussion about it.
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  #320    
Old July 21st, 2011, 09:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Toujours View Post


At some point his parents will notice the difference and and ask him if he's gay and then he'll have to explain. Either way he'll have to come out by explaining to people, it's not like if he starts mentioning his boyfriend or whatever everyone will just ignore it if they knew him as straight all their lives. I feel like I would be offended if a good friend of mine suddenly decided to "passively be out" without saying anything, because I would feel like he or she was too uncomfortable to actually tell me upfront and instead just hoped I would get it from context clues so we couldn't have a real discussion about it.
I'd come out if there was that much pressure. The reason why I advocate just being out instead of coming out is because it makes it seem normal. If you just go ahead and date like straight guy would, then it would seem like he views himself as equal to a straight guy instead of strange and different for liking guys instead of girls. Pulling someone aside and telling them that you're gay draws attention to it, which makes you look different. Other than the gender of their sexual and romanctic partners, they aren't different. That sameness needs to be stressed so that people will see them as people just like them.

Part of the passively being out approach is being honest when asked.
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  #321    
Old July 21st, 2011, 10:15 PM
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Hmm... well, I don't think I have to worry anyone finding out for now. Tbh, I'm still probably the straightest guy I know, personality wise... so I don't know how anyone could find out without me telling them, honestly. lol

I'll keep that in mind if I do decide to start dating or something though.


Btw, if anyone wants to chat, I'd be totally cool with that. :)
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  #322    
Old July 22nd, 2011, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by -ty- View Post
Does anyone else have or know other GLBT people that have social phobias, or mental health problems in general ? If so, what do you think we should do to prevent GLBT people from suffering from mental/emotional complications? Should parents ask their children about their sexuality, and take preventative action by seeking counseling?
I've had a lot of trouble being social. It's better for me now than it was in high school. I think it's partly because I just wasn't comfortable with myself and partly because I didn't have anyone I felt I could talk with or any place I felt completely safe. I also had trouble with suicidal thoughts and even attempted it.

From my own experience I don't find that parents are much help. For me counseling isn't quite what I would have wanted as much as having friends or some kind of group to talk to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
I guess I should join this now... I've been fighting it for nigh on a year now, but I guess I'm bi... maybe even Gay, I'm not entirely sure yet. It's really weird for me, because I'm a Christian, and while I have always fully supported Gay rights, I still don't like the thought of it, for obvious religious reasons.

I'm sure my mom would freak out if I told her, but I doubt I'll ever actually have to. I've never shown any interest in either sex to them, even when they tried asking me about it, I just ignored them. So, they're kind of used to that. Either way, I imagine it would be kinda nice to not have to hide it.

(Also, I don't think I've ever said nigh before. lol)
If you're not sure then it's probably best to keep your parents out of it for the moment. Maybe you could find a group in your area, or another website or forum for people who are gay/bi/questioning and religious. Stay safe, whatever you decide to do.
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  #323    
Old July 22nd, 2011, 11:41 PM
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UPDATE

H.R. 2, a bill to ban blood drives on our campus was discussed by the AS Joint LGBT Issues Committee. We were split even on recommeding a yes or no vote. The bill was voted on today.

AS HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Membership: 51 Republicans, 50 Democrats
H.R. 2 vote: 58 Nays, 43 Ayes

It died on the first floor vote.
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  #324    
Old July 23rd, 2011, 06:24 AM
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Oh my Goodness I've been horribly slack!

Welcome to roen52, -ty-, tropios and QuilavaKing!

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
I guess I should join this now... I've been fighting it for nigh on a year now, but I guess I'm bi... maybe even Gay, I'm not entirely sure yet. It's really weird for me, because I'm a Christian, and while I have always fully supported Gay rights, I still don't like the thought of it, for obvious religious reasons.

I'm sure my mom would freak out if I told her, but I doubt I'll ever actually have to. I've never shown any interest in either sex to them, even when they tried asking me about it, I just ignored them. So, they're kind of used to that. Either way, I imagine it would be kinda nice to not have to hide it.

(Also, I don't think I've ever said nigh before. lol)
So, the first thing we need to do is get you healthy. If there is any message you have been given in your religious or home life that has made you believe that homosexuality is in any way wrong or abnormal, now would be the time to start disregarding those teachings - because they will only hinder you in your life.

And also, if you're showing lack of interest in either sex, then to a parent that generally means "gay and hiding it". I tried that one myself and it didn't work out so well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
Btw, if anyone wants to chat, I'd be totally cool with that.
Did you just send out a blanket proposition?

-------------------

Now, it's time for some:


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My opinion on the last one is that it had to be a straight man that asked the lesbian to remove her shirt.
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Old July 23rd, 2011, 07:13 AM
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QuilavaKing
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Okay, so update from me...

I had been hating on myself quite a bit for the past few days, for obvious reasons... and I was talking to my friend on skype last night, and this topic came up, so I ended up telling him about it, and it turns out he's Gay... I had no clue, haha. (Well, technically, he said bi, but he also said that vaginas were scary, so I'm just gonna pretend he's gay. lol)

We talked about it for a few hours, and I definitely feel a lot better about it now.

I've felt sick ever since I stopped talking to him though, and just haven't been able to eat at all. On top of that, I'm waking up every couple hours thinking about it, and not getting any sleep. This reaction just doesn't make any sense... but it's really starting to get to me. =/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
So, the first thing we need to do is get you healthy. If there is any message you have been given in your religious or home life that has made you believe that homosexuality is in any way wrong or abnormal, now would be the time to start disregarding those teachings - because they will only hinder you in your life.
The only problem with that, is that I don't not believe it. As much as I've always hated that little detail, I can't just throw away my core beliefs, after 19 years, and hope I was wrong all this time. I know that causes some major conflict... but I don't think there's anything I can do about it. =/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
And also, if you're showing lack of interest in either sex, then to a parent that generally means "gay and hiding it". I tried that one myself and it didn't work out so well.
Well, I've always done that. Originally because I actually didn't have any interest, and then because I was too embarrassed to talk about it. It wasn't ever because I was Gay before now. lol

Maybe they do think so though... I dunno. =/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
Did you just send out a blanket proposition?
I've been trying to look that term up for like 30 minutes now, to no avail. So... yeah, I feel dumb now. I actually just wanted to talk about it though.
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Last edited by QuilavaKing; July 23rd, 2011 at 07:46 AM.
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