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  #3626    
Old April 16th, 2013 (7:14 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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Somehow, I feel like the rest of my family knows somehow, because, while I was working in the kitchen making dinner with my mom and sister, they told me that they're "proud of me for saying that" and my mom said "I'm proud of you for just being you" or something to the sort, and my dad wanted to talk to me earlier...

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  #3627    
Old April 16th, 2013 (7:46 PM).
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=) It's best when things need no explanation.
  #3628    
Old April 16th, 2013 (7:56 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
Somehow, I feel like the rest of my family knows somehow, because, while I was working in the kitchen making dinner with my mom and sister, they told me that they're "proud of me for saying that" and my mom said "I'm proud of you for just being you" or something to the sort, and my dad wanted to talk to me earlier...
If you just told a close family member, and then the rest of your family suddenly knows, I'd say it's pretty obvious what happened.
  #3629    
Old April 16th, 2013 (8:39 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
If you just told a close family member, and then the rest of your family suddenly knows, I'd say it's pretty obvious what happened.
....Damn it.
Imma gonna go kick his booty.

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  #3630    
Old April 17th, 2013 (10:01 AM).
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Well, at least he made things easier for you, unless you wanted to tell your close relatives personally. Lol

I mean, now you know that they're fairly accepting of it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. He should have never said anything in the first place, though.
  #3631    
Old April 17th, 2013 (4:10 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gyardosamped View Post
Well, at least he made things easier for you, unless you wanted to tell your close relatives personally. Lol

I mean, now you know that they're fairly accepting of it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. He should have never said anything in the first place, though.
Eh. I know I'll have to go face-to-face on them with the topic later.
Just hearing it from the brother a good source does not make.

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  #3632    
Old April 17th, 2013 (5:09 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
Eh. I know I'll have to go face-to-face on them with the topic later.
Just hearing it from the brother a good source does not make.
It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.

I'm glad it's going well
  #3633    
Old April 17th, 2013 (6:04 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.

I'm glad it's going well
Yeah...
I think the hard part would be telling them my boyfriend is 19...

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  #3634    
Old April 17th, 2013 (6:20 PM).
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Haha, but at least you're no worse than anyone else in your situation I think if they were okay with it so far it's only reason to be confident about the future ahead.
  #3635    
Old April 18th, 2013 (11:17 AM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.
And yet it's really common. At least from what I've heard from people. If you tell one family member and they think another family member will be okay then they often tell them without asking you first. You know, because "OMG, Bobby told me he was gay. Me! I have to tell someone!"
  #3636    
Old April 18th, 2013 (11:22 AM).
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I had a friend write to me that he thought he was gay before. We stopped talking for 3 years after >.< But when I started to speak with him again, he told me it was just a phase. Do these things happen?
  #3637    
Old April 18th, 2013 (12:06 PM).
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Yeah, they do. Especially when you're going through puberty and/or if you've been raised in such a way that you didn't learn or talk much about sexuality so that you won't necessarily have the frame of reference that you might ideally have.

Lots of people think they might be gay because they really are gay, or bi, or even trans, but then decide they'd rather live as straight or at least tell people they're straight, and maybe that's how they really feel. (I'm of the camp that thinks sexuality can be fluid for some people, but that's another topic.) And plenty of people go through feeling like they might be gay because they might have strong feelings for one particular person or another, not necessarily sexual or romantic, but strong enough that they wonder if there's something else at work.
  #3638    
Old April 18th, 2013 (12:15 PM).
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I just hope he made the right decision ._. But then again it is high school, and everything happens during high school.
  #3639    
Old April 18th, 2013 (5:21 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
What's it like dating someone older? or younger? I can't imagine myself doing either.
Lolololololol
yeah, well, it's nothing big, in my opinion. It's maturity that matters; not age. Well, personally. LEGALLY age still matters. xD Too big a difference can seem odd . . . and obviously dating someone too young is just really freaking creepy. By that I mean <13, and that's if there's less than a four year difference between you. A) because it just seems odd for a twenty-year-old to date a thirteen-year-old, and B) it's kinda illegal in most places. However, if we take minors out of the equation (but I am one, so it's somewhat hard to do in my personal cases xD) then . . . well, the difference doesn't matter at all. Just maturity.
And even then that can be worked around in some cases. xD

As for the whole smell topic . . . UM, I actually understand this question completely. And it can certainly get some odd answers . . . like most people here say, they don't like the smell of sweaty people. When it comes to guys, or, more specifically, my guy . . . I kind of enjoy the smell of sweat. It's odd, but hey, whatever.
When it comes to girls? Normally they smell good, but that's typically artificial. And I'm kind of not shoving my face into the armpits of every female I see.

@FenrirDarkWolf - Regardless, I think it's good to get such things out in the open. Sometimes we need an outside mind to help us be objective. And sometimes it takes someone outside of the equation to find it's solution. So, while it can be a bit . . . um, rude, I guess, for someone to tell others that, it can be helpful. And, honestly, if it's one family member telling others, and they're genuinely trying to be helpful, I think that's . . . somewhat more okay than in other cases, if you know what I mean?

EVI

this is a secret
  #3640    
Old April 18th, 2013 (5:25 PM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nakuzami View Post
@FenrirDarkWolf - Regardless, I think it's good to get such things out in the open. Sometimes we need an outside mind to help us be objective. And sometimes it takes someone outside of the equation to find it's solution. So, while it can be a bit . . . um, rude, I guess, for someone to tell others that, it can be helpful. And, honestly, if it's one family member telling others, and they're genuinely trying to be helpful, I think that's . . . somewhat more okay than in other cases, if you know what I mean?
I tend to be really Machiavellian about this. If they tell someone and it turns for the better, I'd say they made really good judgement and they should be praised. But if they tell someone and it turns for the worse, I would want to smack them. I don't really care about what they do, just as long as they can bring into the world the result they intended.
  #3641    
Old April 18th, 2013 (7:04 PM).
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*pokes head in* Hello! May I join in?

I am aromantic asexual. Hopefully I don't step on any toes by joining, I know there's still a lot of controversy about whether asexuals who aren't bi-, homo-, or pan- romantic should be able to call themselves "queer". I myself am still struggling with whether I feel right joining in under the queer umbrella, as it's only been a couple of years since I discovered asexuality and realized that this is what I am.

Actually, I think that might relate somewhat to a question I saw above about whether or not being gay can be a "phase." I - and many asexuals - for the longest time assumed that because I didn't feel any kind of attraction to guys, ever, not even once, that I MUST be gay. I never came out as gay, partly because I was afraid of getting the "you're too young to know what you want" speech, and partly because, even though I knew I definitely wasn't straight, and it always felt wrong when I said I was straight, I had also never felt any kind of attraction to girls, and this confused me quite a bit.
  #3642    
Old April 18th, 2013 (7:14 PM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is online now
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Don't ever feel pressured to decide whether you fit under a label or not. That's the opinion other people hold of you and you'll always find people with differing opinions. Personally, I consider asexuality to be a sexual minority and that suffices for you to be called queer. If others decide to exclude you then that's their ignorance and their loss.

All the while though, there is some fluidity in sexual and gender identity and people change over time. So whatever happens, it might be a phase? I mean this only that it's a possibility, and the important thing is not to focus on questions of identity too much. There's no point questioning yourself if you aren't going to find an answer and you, as an individual, don't really need an answer - only society and other people need answers.
  #3643    
Old April 18th, 2013 (7:36 PM). Edited April 18th, 2013 by Inkblots.
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Thank you

I never felt pressured to label myself, just kind of awkward, because I didn't have the words to describe the way I felt, and didn't have the confidence when I was a teenager to tell people that I just wasn't attracted to ANYONE, because well, that was just weird (now, I don't really give a damn if people think I'm weird). I'm no longer struggling with my identity in terms of orientation, I basically knew within minutes of reading about it that hey, this is me. When I came out, it was the first time I was able to give myself a "label" (for lack of a better word) that didn't feel weird to say. Right now, like I said, it's just whether I consider myself queer or not that I'm still trying to figure out. I'm not overly concerned about it though - if an LGBTQ group wants to include me, I'm cool with that. If they don't, I'm fine being an ally. And if, eventually, there's some kind of collective agreement that aces will have their own group, I'm good with that too. As long as no one's trying to tell me my orientation doesn't exist, I'm happy, haha
  #3644    
Old April 18th, 2013 (7:52 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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Y'know, I often considered myself to asexual for a time...
And, I think I still kinda am, in a sense, because, I'm normally not attracted to people, and I'm really still not. It's weird, because, whenever I do feel attracted to someone, it's either gender...
I think my mate just kinda wormed his way into my heart, and I love him for that, because, no one else has been able to do that before...

Does this make any sense at all?

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  #3645    
Old April 18th, 2013 (7:59 PM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is online now
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I'm not normally attracted to people either, but I don't consider myself asexual Okay that is kind of a lie - I can be easily distracted by assets, but I'm very rarely attracted to someone in that way. If that makes sense and it's fair for me to differentiate between the two.

@Fenrir

I just realized what you posted. Dude! Aren't you ecstatic about being intimate with your boyfriend? I can't even say the same myself
  #3646    
Old April 18th, 2013 (8:43 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
@Fenrir

I just realized what you posted. Dude! Aren't you ecstatic about being intimate with your boyfriend? I can't even say the same myself
Well, it's a little hard to be intimate with him when I'm technically not legal, and he's a few states away from me.
Though, we hope to get the latter fixed sometime soon....
Hopefully.

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  #3647    
Old April 18th, 2013 (8:45 PM). Edited April 18th, 2013 by Inkblots.
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There is also grey-ace/greysexual or demi-sexual, which might be an appropriate description for you? Grey-ace/greysexual meaning it's very rare that you experience sexual attraction, and demi-sexual meaning that you don't feel sexual attraction until after developing a strong emotional attachment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
I'm not normally attracted to people either, but I don't consider myself asexual Okay that is kind of a lie - I can be easily distracted by assets, but I'm very rarely attracted to someone in that way. If that makes sense and it's fair for me to differentiate between the two.
I think I understand what you're saying...? I always have to explain to people that if I say someone is "beautiful" or "cute", I don't mean that I find them attractive, I just think they're beautiful the way a sunset is beautiful, or cute the way a puppy is cute (although more often, when it comes to being cute, I'm referring to personality rather than looks). Is it something like that for you? Or am I way off the mark, lol.
  #3648    
Old April 18th, 2013 (8:51 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkblots View Post
There is also grey-ace/greysexual or demi-sexual, which might be an appropriate description for you? Grey-ace/greysexual meaning it's very rare that you experience sexual attraction, and demi-sexual meaning that you don't feel sexual attraction until after developing a strong emotional attachment.
That seems to fit me more, especially the latter, because, unless I've grown a strong emotional bond with someone, like how me and my boyfriend did, I don't actually like their body.
See, this also happened before, with one of my female friends...

I'm weird okay, all this labels stuff, it confuses me.

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  #3649    
Old April 18th, 2013 (8:56 PM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is online now
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Yes and no. I'm a bit of a horndog see, so I don't think anything I say could be taken seriously anymore XDDD No, but I am able to recognize aesthetic value of both a person's physical appearance, and their style, of either sexes - that's a rather academic way of putting it. I think you hit the mark whenever I'm not a horndog. Which is more often than you might expect

Quote:
Well, it's a little hard to be intimate with him when I'm technically not legal, and he's a few states away from me.
Though, we hope to get the latter fixed sometime soon....
Hopefully.
Oh, goodness that makes you jailbait doesn't it XD Yeah labels are useful until they are useless, and then they are just extremely useless.
  #3650    
Old April 18th, 2013 (9:13 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
Oh, goodness that makes you jailbait doesn't it XD Yeah labels are useful until they are useless, and then they are just extremely useless.
You're the second person to call me that!
According to Texas State Laws, I'm only jailbait until I'm 17! >.<
But it doesn't matter! It would be completely consensual anyway.

I don't like labels anymore, all that matters is I'm a guy, and I'm dating a guy I happily and proudly call my boyfriend.

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