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  #3651    
Old April 18th, 2013 (9:48 PM).
Ledgetheorc's Avatar
Ledgetheorc Ledgetheorc is offline
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Bumrushing the conversation! Hello there! I'm a Homobear. Figured I'd put my name in the pool here since it seems the thread is alive and well. Herro all!

Mini-blurb - I'm a happily mated bear, having been out since early High School (Which I graduated from in 2008, So, I'll let you adjust my age accordingly). See my Intro post for more info.

Either way, I do pledge my assistance in any seeking to ask me questions or anything. Here I am. Joining the fray. . ..

Rawr.

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  #3652    
Old April 18th, 2013 (10:16 PM).
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Somniac Somniac is offline
Probably sleeping.
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Its just my opinion, naturally but personally I think anyone is welcome to join this thread even if they consider themselves entirely heterosexual. If someone simply holds curiosity for something which they have never encountered then we should all be happy to assist them in anything they would like to know. Many people don't know their sexuality and it can help to talk to people from all different 'camps' of the spectrum.

That said, if there's anything anyone would like to know i'd be happy to do my best to explain.
  #3653    
Old April 18th, 2013 (11:18 PM).
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SylphyStarr SylphyStarr is offline
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I would love love loveee to join this group <3

I personally don't really believe in prescribing to a single label, especially for something as fluid and diverse as sexuality but I will try to describe myself. What I know as far as sexual attraction is that I like women. A lot. And since I am one myself and I don't find men sexually attractive, that makes me homosexual I guess. I am however romantically attracted to men though, which I somewhat accredit to society and the whole Disney "prince charming" scenario. My relationship with men still seem to seem a lot smoother than those with women though, so I am still unsure of a lot of things.
  #3654    
Old April 19th, 2013 (7:12 AM).
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Inkblots Inkblots is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
Yeah labels are useful until they are useless, and then they are just extremely useless.
Could not agree more, haha XD Especially when you get into some of the more complex sexualities, like SylphyStarr, where sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't necessarily match up.

Personally, I've always felt like such labels are really only useful when you aren't currently in a relationship, if only to let other people know in a succinct way who you might potentially be interested in, or not interested in. Once you're in a relationship, it's not so important anymore, in my opinion (though I don't think there's anything wrong with continuing to label oneself while in a relationship, as it can be important both to one's sense of identity, and to dispelling misconceptions about those labels, e.g., when a bi person finds a partner, and so many people who don't seem to understand what bi means then assume they have "chosen a team" and are now gay or straight).
  #3655    
Old April 19th, 2013 (9:42 AM).
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Melody Melody is offline
Bubbly Bubbly Bobblun
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SylphyStarr View Post
I would love love loveee to join this group <3

I personally don't really believe in prescribing to a single label, especially for something as fluid and diverse as sexuality but I will try to describe myself. What I know as far as sexual attraction is that I like women. A lot. And since I am one myself and I don't find men sexually attractive, that makes me homosexual I guess. I am however romantically attracted to men though, which I somewhat accredit to society and the whole Disney "prince charming" scenario. My relationship with men still seem to seem a lot smoother than those with women though, so I am still unsure of a lot of things.
I agree. As someone who is pretty blurry in both sexuality and gender, I definitely don't like to put labels on anything. As a matter of fact, I try to stick with the broader descriptors when trying to explain myself to others, so they don't put me into some tiny box and then get upset when my behavior is too broad for that box.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkblots View Post
Could not agree more, haha XD Especially when you get into some of the more complex sexualities, like SylphyStarr, where sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't necessarily match up.

Personally, I've always felt like such labels are really only useful when you aren't currently in a relationship, if only to let other people know in a succinct way who you might potentially be interested in, or not interested in. Once you're in a relationship, it's not so important anymore, in my opinion (though I don't think there's anything wrong with continuing to label oneself while in a relationship, as it can be important both to one's sense of identity, and to dispelling misconceptions about those labels, e.g., when a bi person finds a partner, and so many people who don't seem to understand what bi means then assume they have "chosen a team" and are now gay or straight).
Labels are unfortunately a necessity of our language, since most of the time either we or the receiver of our message lacks the time, the will or the patience to partake in a detailed description. Sometimes even our chosen language of conveyance lacks detailed enough descriptors to accurately and succinctly convey exactly what we mean. Other times the receiver has a non-standard or incorrect interpretation of your message, a different meaning assigned to the descriptors being chosen or has some sort of bias towards interpreting your message in an undesirable way. Sometimes they just don't understand the meaning of your descriptors and make an erroneous extrapolation based on what they do know.

It gets even more slippery when you fall under the broader spectrum terms, and there's a wider margin for error to exist in interpreting your message. Sometimes we even make the mistake of overgeneralizing for brevity, and this leaves questions unanswered to be filled by speculation which may not be a positive thing.

While those of us in this group have our own jargon of classification, it has not yet quite reached maturity nor has it reached the mainstream.
On Hiatus until further notice
  #3656    
Old April 19th, 2013 (4:55 PM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassino
I believe the question pertains only to natural body odour(s), not manufactured fragrances to which we are not genetically predisposed to react
Then that makes no sense to me. I had no idea that there was any difference whatsoever between the natural scent of a man or a woman lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Somniac
Its just my opinion, naturally but personally I think anyone is welcome to join this thread even if they consider themselves entirely heterosexual.
That's not opinion, that's just simple fact lol - anybody at all is welcome to join the club, it's in the section rules and it would also kind of go against the whole message of unity we're trying to send if we rejected people from the club for being straight

Also welcome to Ledgetheorc, SylphyStarr and Inkblots!

As for Fenrir, I say screw legality. If you're lucky enough to get yourself a hot older guy then you go for it, we should all be so lucky. My friend Alyshia was dating a guy in high school when she was 16 and he was 21. Six years later and they're still together.

"So this is why God bombed us."

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  #3657    
Old April 19th, 2013 (5:01 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
As for Fenrir, I say screw legality. If you're lucky enough to get yourself a hot older guy then you go for it, we should all be so lucky. My friend Alyshia was dating a guy in high school when she was 16 and he was 21. Six years later and they're still together.
Ahh...
Wow.
I still hate how he lives so far away, and he no way to get here...
And, even if he did, where would he live anyway..
Theses are the problems...

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  #3658    
Old April 19th, 2013 (6:17 PM).
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Ledgetheorc Ledgetheorc is offline
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I cannot condone any form of long distance, yes I do believe it has the potential to work, but that chance seems pretty slim (especially from my own experience). There's nothing like meeting someone IRL for the first time without knowing much about them. As for the older bit, as I'm 23, and my mate is 32, best experience of my life. :D Even if I was sperm when he was 9.
  #3659    
Old April 19th, 2013 (6:32 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgetheorc View Post
I cannot condone any form of long distance, yes I do believe it has the potential to work, but that chance seems pretty slim (especially from my own experience). There's nothing like meeting someone IRL for the first time without knowing much about them. As for the older bit, as I'm 23, and my mate is 32, best experience of my life. :D Even if I was sperm when he was 9.
Damn it! I know it will work! I will make it work, I'll make it....
I know we'll make it work...
I know it.

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  #3660    
Old April 19th, 2013 (6:40 PM).
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SylphyStarr SylphyStarr is offline
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It really can work! My longest and deepest relationship was with someone I meet through mutual friends on facebook. He lived in New Jersey and I am from Wisconsin. We were together for over a year and he visited here twice and I went out there once. It was a really great experience and I am still close with him. Our breakup was not because of the distance at all and he is even planning to come visit again soon sometime.

All that being said, it definately isn't easy as a more traditional relationship, but it can be a good fit fit for certain people. I can see why some people look down on long-distance relationships as being wrong or silly but I think that denying someone that you truly connect with the chance to be with you just because of location is even worse.
  #3661    
Old April 19th, 2013 (7:08 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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What I hate the most is that he would have nowhere to go when he gets down here...
I would love for him to stay here with me, but, I don't think they'll want their son's boyfriend living with him yet...

The reason I like long-distance relationships better is because, I can fall in love with the personality of the person first, and not the look of them...
And we really just fit and complete each other. We balance each other out, his more controlled emotions keep my rather random emotions in check. Hell, he's a Taurus, and I'm a Cancer, and these two are supposed to be good together, after all...

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  #3662    
Old April 19th, 2013 (8:38 PM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is offline
naughty biscotti
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
The reason I like long-distance relationships better is because, I can fall in love with the personality of the person first, and not the look of them...
And we really just fit and complete each other. We balance each other out, his more controlled emotions keep my rather random emotions in check. Hell, he's a Taurus, and I'm a Cancer, and these two are supposed to be good together, after all...
You don't have to be so ultra-pure - what we non-long-distance relationship people are skanks now, aren't we >.> XD It's not too difficult to have self-control, even if you're a horndog like me. And there's a lot more you can get from being in intimate contact. Like body-language - you know how they say 90% of communication is body language You get to notice little things that kind of flesh out the whole experience, I guess. And going out and doing stuff. Being in intimate contact doesn't mean you have to be making out all the time, it doesn't even mean you have to be talking all the time. I've been in an effectively long-distance relationship because we both have exams and are as busy as hell right now.

Astrology is a bunch of BS, imo. I checked out my matching, and it said we wouldn't work out! And then I saw another website and it said the matching would be successful... so I guess we could be best partners, worst enemies and everything in the middle? smh.
  #3663    
Old April 19th, 2013 (8:48 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
Water Musician Fenrir
 
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There are reasons I want him with me...
And it's not for the good stuff, it is for fluffy stuff too...
Or maybe I'm just crazy, crazy in love perhaps...

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  #3664    
Old April 19th, 2013 (8:55 PM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is offline
naughty biscotti
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What's the diff between good and fluffy stuff?
  #3665    
Old April 19th, 2013 (8:57 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
Water Musician Fenrir
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
What's the diff between good and fluffy stuff?
Good=Sexy.
Fluffy=Cuddling in bed asleep.

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  #3666    
Old April 20th, 2013 (6:37 PM).
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Phantom Phantom is offline
Uh, I didn't do it
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Well. That could not have gone any worse.

Stuff happened with what I posted a few pages back. And. Yeah. I need a corner.
  #3667    
Old April 20th, 2013 (7:03 PM).
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Ledgetheorc Ledgetheorc is offline
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_Dramatic Drumroll.- .... I feel you shouldn't associate the connotation of good with sexy. I mean, seperately they are great, though don't make them mutually exclusive. As negative as I sound, I promise I don't mean to come off so brash.
  #3668    
Old April 20th, 2013 (7:12 PM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
Water Musician Fenrir
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgetheorc View Post
_Dramatic Drumroll.- .... I feel you shouldn't associate the connotation of good with sexy. I mean, seperately they are great, though don't make them mutually exclusive. As negative as I sound, I promise I don't mean to come off so brash.
Nah, you're entirely alright.
I know what you're trying to say, it's just, they were the first thing's that came to mind, so...

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  #3669    
Old April 20th, 2013 (7:13 PM).
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Esper Esper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
Well. That could not have gone any worse.

Stuff happened with what I posted a few pages back. And. Yeah. I need a corner.
Did something happen with your father? I think that's who you said was not the most accepting person in your family.

This is a corner you can be in if you need to get something off your chest. You know, to vent if you're angry or just feel like you're in good company.
  #3670    
Old April 20th, 2013 (7:24 PM).
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Somniac Somniac is offline
Probably sleeping.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
Well. That could not have gone any worse.

Stuff happened with what I posted a few pages back. And. Yeah. I need a corner.
If you feel comfortable telling us what happened, I'm sure we'd all agree that we'll happily be a silent listener, or a vocal advisor depending on what you need.
  #3671    
Old April 21st, 2013 (9:54 AM).
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Rai Rai is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
Well. That could not have gone any worse.

Stuff happened with what I posted a few pages back. And. Yeah. I need a corner.
I agree with what the others said. If you need anything, this is a safe zone for you to come to and talk about whatever you need.
  #3672    
Old April 21st, 2013 (4:38 PM).
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Jasper Jasper is offline
C'mere, brat
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SylphyStarr View Post
I would love love loveee to join this group <3

I personally don't really believe in prescribing to a single label, especially for something as fluid and diverse as sexuality but I will try to describe myself. What I know as far as sexual attraction is that I like women. A lot. And since I am one myself and I don't find men sexually attractive, that makes me homosexual I guess. I am however romantically attracted to men though, which I somewhat accredit to society and the whole Disney "prince charming" scenario. My relationship with men still seem to seem a lot smoother than those with women though, so I am still unsure of a lot of things.
I really actually don't mind labels. I like them, in fact.

Why is it bad to simply call myself "lesbian"?

I don't feel the need to go and explain to everyone the specifics, and really, that is what I am. I am lesbian. I like women.

I guess it's just me but I think labels are okay unless you are recognized only as the label ("hey look at that chick!" "the gay one?" "yeah" unless its used like this or for discrimination of course).
  #3673    
Old April 21st, 2013 (4:50 PM).
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SylphyStarr SylphyStarr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
I really actually don't mind labels. I like them, in fact.

Why is it bad to simply call myself "lesbian"?

I don't feel the need to go and explain to everyone the specifics, and really, that is what I am. I am lesbian. I like women.

I guess it's just me but I think labels are okay unless you are recognized only as the label ("hey look at that chick!" "the gay one?" "yeah" unless its used like this or for discrimination of course).
If someone likes labels then that is their choice I guess. I just personally don't think they are constructive in any way and lead to people taking shortcuts when it comes to getting to know who someone and leaves too much room for stereotypes and generalizations.
  #3674    
Old April 21st, 2013 (6:45 PM).
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Inkblots Inkblots is offline
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
I really actually don't mind labels. I like them, in fact.

Why is it bad to simply call myself "lesbian"?

I don't feel the need to go and explain to everyone the specifics, and really, that is what I am. I am lesbian. I like women.

I guess it's just me but I think labels are okay unless you are recognized only as the label ("hey look at that chick!" "the gay one?" "yeah" unless its used like this or for discrimination of course).
I think it partly depends on how well a person actually fits into any particular label. For myself, my sexuality isn't really all that nuanced: I am very asexual, and very aromantic. I fit quite neatly into both of these labels, and am quite happy to use them to describe myself. Likewise, there are people who fit perfectly (or close enough to perfectly) into straight, gay, bi, and pan, who probably don't mind the labels either. But, there are people in between all those things that probably don't feel like any one label accurately describes the way they are, and that's when labels are not so useful any more. Like someone who is attracted to the opposite sex 99% of the time, and the same sex 1% of the time. Do they tell people they're straight, or bi? Same issue if someone is sexually attracted to one sex, but romantically attracted to another. Or sexually attracted to men and women, but romantically attracted only to men. There's also the all-too-prevelant issue of people making personality assumptions based on orientation, or not realizing that a person's orientation can change over the course of their lifetime, so I can understand people not liking labels from that perspective as well.

It can all get pretty complicated, and getting people who don't understand how nuanced and fluid sexuality can be (which seems to be most people) to accept a new label can be extremely difficult, if not impossible (I have run across a few people who just flat out refuse to use the term asexual or pansexual because they are "ridiculous" orientations that "don't really exist" or because they think we "have too many labels as it is")
  #3675    
Old April 22nd, 2013 (10:25 AM).
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LaVida LaVida is offline
 
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Anyone should use labels if they like to. I agree with SylphyStarr on this one.

I feel that sexuality is very fluid (at least for me, it is), so when I label myself, I get a feeling that I somewhat limit myself. For the sake of explaining myself to others, though, I identify as bisexual and I'm comfortable with that most of the time.
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