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  #3651    
Old April 16th, 2013, 08:39 PM
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Water Musician Fenrir
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
If you just told a close family member, and then the rest of your family suddenly knows, I'd say it's pretty obvious what happened.
....Damn it.
Imma gonna go kick his booty.
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  #3652    
Old April 17th, 2013, 10:01 AM
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Well, at least he made things easier for you, unless you wanted to tell your close relatives personally. Lol

I mean, now you know that they're fairly accepting of it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. He should have never said anything in the first place, though.
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  #3653    
Old April 17th, 2013, 04:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gyardosamped View Post
Well, at least he made things easier for you, unless you wanted to tell your close relatives personally. Lol

I mean, now you know that they're fairly accepting of it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. He should have never said anything in the first place, though.
Eh. I know I'll have to go face-to-face on them with the topic later.
Just hearing it from the brother a good source does not make.
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  #3654    
Old April 17th, 2013, 05:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FenrirDarkWolf View Post
Eh. I know I'll have to go face-to-face on them with the topic later.
Just hearing it from the brother a good source does not make.
It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.

I'm glad it's going well
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  #3655    
Old April 17th, 2013, 06:04 PM
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FenrirDarkWolf
Water Musician Fenrir
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.

I'm glad it's going well
Yeah...
I think the hard part would be telling them my boyfriend is 19...
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  #3656    
Old April 17th, 2013, 06:20 PM
Kanzler
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Haha, but at least you're no worse than anyone else in your situation I think if they were okay with it so far it's only reason to be confident about the future ahead.
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  #3657    
Old April 18th, 2013, 11:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.
And yet it's really common. At least from what I've heard from people. If you tell one family member and they think another family member will be okay then they often tell them without asking you first. You know, because "OMG, Bobby told me he was gay. Me! I have to tell someone!"
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  #3658    
Old April 18th, 2013, 11:22 AM
Kanzler
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I had a friend write to me that he thought he was gay before. We stopped talking for 3 years after >.< But when I started to speak with him again, he told me it was just a phase. Do these things happen?
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  #3659    
Old April 18th, 2013, 12:06 PM
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Yeah, they do. Especially when you're going through puberty and/or if you've been raised in such a way that you didn't learn or talk much about sexuality so that you won't necessarily have the frame of reference that you might ideally have.

Lots of people think they might be gay because they really are gay, or bi, or even trans, but then decide they'd rather live as straight or at least tell people they're straight, and maybe that's how they really feel. (I'm of the camp that thinks sexuality can be fluid for some people, but that's another topic.) And plenty of people go through feeling like they might be gay because they might have strong feelings for one particular person or another, not necessarily sexual or romantic, but strong enough that they wonder if there's something else at work.
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  #3660    
Old April 18th, 2013, 12:15 PM
Kanzler
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I just hope he made the right decision ._. But then again it is high school, and everything happens during high school.
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  #3661    
Old April 18th, 2013, 05:21 PM
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Together . . . always.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
What's it like dating someone older? or younger? I can't imagine myself doing either.
Lolololololol
yeah, well, it's nothing big, in my opinion. It's maturity that matters; not age. Well, personally. LEGALLY age still matters. xD Too big a difference can seem odd . . . and obviously dating someone too young is just really freaking creepy. By that I mean <13, and that's if there's less than a four year difference between you. A) because it just seems odd for a twenty-year-old to date a thirteen-year-old, and B) it's kinda illegal in most places. However, if we take minors out of the equation (but I am one, so it's somewhat hard to do in my personal cases xD) then . . . well, the difference doesn't matter at all. Just maturity.
And even then that can be worked around in some cases. xD

As for the whole smell topic . . . UM, I actually understand this question completely. And it can certainly get some odd answers . . . like most people here say, they don't like the smell of sweaty people. When it comes to guys, or, more specifically, my guy . . . I kind of enjoy the smell of sweat. It's odd, but hey, whatever.
When it comes to girls? Normally they smell good, but that's typically artificial. And I'm kind of not shoving my face into the armpits of every female I see.

@FenrirDarkWolf - Regardless, I think it's good to get such things out in the open. Sometimes we need an outside mind to help us be objective. And sometimes it takes someone outside of the equation to find it's solution. So, while it can be a bit . . . um, rude, I guess, for someone to tell others that, it can be helpful. And, honestly, if it's one family member telling others, and they're genuinely trying to be helpful, I think that's . . . somewhat more okay than in other cases, if you know what I mean?
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  #3662    
Old April 18th, 2013, 05:25 PM
Kanzler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nakuzami View Post
@FenrirDarkWolf - Regardless, I think it's good to get such things out in the open. Sometimes we need an outside mind to help us be objective. And sometimes it takes someone outside of the equation to find it's solution. So, while it can be a bit . . . um, rude, I guess, for someone to tell others that, it can be helpful. And, honestly, if it's one family member telling others, and they're genuinely trying to be helpful, I think that's . . . somewhat more okay than in other cases, if you know what I mean?
I tend to be really Machiavellian about this. If they tell someone and it turns for the better, I'd say they made really good judgement and they should be praised. But if they tell someone and it turns for the worse, I would want to smack them. I don't really care about what they do, just as long as they can bring into the world the result they intended.
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  #3663    
Old April 18th, 2013, 07:04 PM
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*pokes head in* Hello! May I join in?

I am aromantic asexual. Hopefully I don't step on any toes by joining, I know there's still a lot of controversy about whether asexuals who aren't bi-, homo-, or pan- romantic should be able to call themselves "queer". I myself am still struggling with whether I feel right joining in under the queer umbrella, as it's only been a couple of years since I discovered asexuality and realized that this is what I am.

Actually, I think that might relate somewhat to a question I saw above about whether or not being gay can be a "phase." I - and many asexuals - for the longest time assumed that because I didn't feel any kind of attraction to guys, ever, not even once, that I MUST be gay. I never came out as gay, partly because I was afraid of getting the "you're too young to know what you want" speech, and partly because, even though I knew I definitely wasn't straight, and it always felt wrong when I said I was straight, I had also never felt any kind of attraction to girls, and this confused me quite a bit.
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  #3664    
Old April 18th, 2013, 07:14 PM
Kanzler
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Don't ever feel pressured to decide whether you fit under a label or not. That's the opinion other people hold of you and you'll always find people with differing opinions. Personally, I consider asexuality to be a sexual minority and that suffices for you to be called queer. If others decide to exclude you then that's their ignorance and their loss.

All the while though, there is some fluidity in sexual and gender identity and people change over time. So whatever happens, it might be a phase? I mean this only that it's a possibility, and the important thing is not to focus on questions of identity too much. There's no point questioning yourself if you aren't going to find an answer and you, as an individual, don't really need an answer - only society and other people need answers.
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  #3665    
Old April 18th, 2013, 07:36 PM
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Thank you

I never felt pressured to label myself, just kind of awkward, because I didn't have the words to describe the way I felt, and didn't have the confidence when I was a teenager to tell people that I just wasn't attracted to ANYONE, because well, that was just weird (now, I don't really give a damn if people think I'm weird). I'm no longer struggling with my identity in terms of orientation, I basically knew within minutes of reading about it that hey, this is me. When I came out, it was the first time I was able to give myself a "label" (for lack of a better word) that didn't feel weird to say. Right now, like I said, it's just whether I consider myself queer or not that I'm still trying to figure out. I'm not overly concerned about it though - if an LGBTQ group wants to include me, I'm cool with that. If they don't, I'm fine being an ally. And if, eventually, there's some kind of collective agreement that aces will have their own group, I'm good with that too. As long as no one's trying to tell me my orientation doesn't exist, I'm happy, haha

Last edited by Inkblots; April 18th, 2013 at 07:49 PM.
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  #3666    
Old April 18th, 2013, 07:52 PM
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FenrirDarkWolf
Water Musician Fenrir
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Gender: Male
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Y'know, I often considered myself to asexual for a time...
And, I think I still kinda am, in a sense, because, I'm normally not attracted to people, and I'm really still not. It's weird, because, whenever I do feel attracted to someone, it's either gender...
I think my mate just kinda wormed his way into my heart, and I love him for that, because, no one else has been able to do that before...

Does this make any sense at all?
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  #3667    
Old April 18th, 2013, 07:59 PM
Kanzler
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I'm not normally attracted to people either, but I don't consider myself asexual Okay that is kind of a lie - I can be easily distracted by assets, but I'm very rarely attracted to someone in that way. If that makes sense and it's fair for me to differentiate between the two.

@Fenrir

I just realized what you posted. Dude! Aren't you ecstatic about being intimate with your boyfriend? I can't even say the same myself
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  #3668    
Old April 18th, 2013, 08:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
@Fenrir

I just realized what you posted. Dude! Aren't you ecstatic about being intimate with your boyfriend? I can't even say the same myself
Well, it's a little hard to be intimate with him when I'm technically not legal, and he's a few states away from me.
Though, we hope to get the latter fixed sometime soon....
Hopefully.
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  #3669    
Old April 18th, 2013, 08:45 PM
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There is also grey-ace/greysexual or demi-sexual, which might be an appropriate description for you? Grey-ace/greysexual meaning it's very rare that you experience sexual attraction, and demi-sexual meaning that you don't feel sexual attraction until after developing a strong emotional attachment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
I'm not normally attracted to people either, but I don't consider myself asexual Okay that is kind of a lie - I can be easily distracted by assets, but I'm very rarely attracted to someone in that way. If that makes sense and it's fair for me to differentiate between the two.
I think I understand what you're saying...? I always have to explain to people that if I say someone is "beautiful" or "cute", I don't mean that I find them attractive, I just think they're beautiful the way a sunset is beautiful, or cute the way a puppy is cute (although more often, when it comes to being cute, I'm referring to personality rather than looks). Is it something like that for you? Or am I way off the mark, lol.

Last edited by Inkblots; April 18th, 2013 at 08:50 PM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #3670    
Old April 18th, 2013, 08:51 PM
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FenrirDarkWolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkblots View Post
There is also grey-ace/greysexual or demi-sexual, which might be an appropriate description for you? Grey-ace/greysexual meaning it's very rare that you experience sexual attraction, and demi-sexual meaning that you don't feel sexual attraction until after developing a strong emotional attachment.
That seems to fit me more, especially the latter, because, unless I've grown a strong emotional bond with someone, like how me and my boyfriend did, I don't actually like their body.
See, this also happened before, with one of my female friends...

I'm weird okay, all this labels stuff, it confuses me.
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  #3671    
Old April 18th, 2013, 08:56 PM
Kanzler
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Yes and no. I'm a bit of a horndog see, so I don't think anything I say could be taken seriously anymore XDDD No, but I am able to recognize aesthetic value of both a person's physical appearance, and their style, of either sexes - that's a rather academic way of putting it. I think you hit the mark whenever I'm not a horndog. Which is more often than you might expect

Quote:
Well, it's a little hard to be intimate with him when I'm technically not legal, and he's a few states away from me.
Though, we hope to get the latter fixed sometime soon....
Hopefully.
Oh, goodness that makes you jailbait doesn't it XD Yeah labels are useful until they are useless, and then they are just extremely useless.
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  #3672    
Old April 18th, 2013, 09:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
Oh, goodness that makes you jailbait doesn't it XD Yeah labels are useful until they are useless, and then they are just extremely useless.
You're the second person to call me that!
According to Texas State Laws, I'm only jailbait until I'm 17! >.<
But it doesn't matter! It would be completely consensual anyway.

I don't like labels anymore, all that matters is I'm a guy, and I'm dating a guy I happily and proudly call my boyfriend.
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  #3673    
Old April 18th, 2013, 09:48 PM
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Ledgetheorc
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Bumrushing the conversation! Hello there! I'm a Homobear. Figured I'd put my name in the pool here since it seems the thread is alive and well. Herro all!

Mini-blurb - I'm a happily mated bear, having been out since early High School (Which I graduated from in 2008, So, I'll let you adjust my age accordingly). See my Intro post for more info.

Either way, I do pledge my assistance in any seeking to ask me questions or anything. Here I am. Joining the fray. . ..

Rawr.
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  #3674    
Old April 18th, 2013, 10:16 PM
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Its just my opinion, naturally but personally I think anyone is welcome to join this thread even if they consider themselves entirely heterosexual. If someone simply holds curiosity for something which they have never encountered then we should all be happy to assist them in anything they would like to know. Many people don't know their sexuality and it can help to talk to people from all different 'camps' of the spectrum.

That said, if there's anything anyone would like to know i'd be happy to do my best to explain.
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  #3675    
Old April 18th, 2013, 11:18 PM
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I would love love loveee to join this group <3

I personally don't really believe in prescribing to a single label, especially for something as fluid and diverse as sexuality but I will try to describe myself. What I know as far as sexual attraction is that I like women. A lot. And since I am one myself and I don't find men sexually attractive, that makes me homosexual I guess. I am however romantically attracted to men though, which I somewhat accredit to society and the whole Disney "prince charming" scenario. My relationship with men still seem to seem a lot smoother than those with women though, so I am still unsure of a lot of things.
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