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  #3851    
Old May 29th, 2013 (09:29 AM).
Aeon Aeon is offline
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Quote originally posted by Counterfeit:
Now, not that I need one at all but, is there a name for this? Demisexual seems the closest, but still pretty far off as the empathy doesn't have to come from any deep relationship.
Demi is probably the most accurate thing for ya.

Anyways, back to what happened last night:

So I decided I would finally tell my mom that I am MtF through a three page letter, also going about how the gender dysphoria has slowed down my progress, my life happiness, and how I'm just looking for support. Well when I got home last night we talked about it for about a solid thirty minutes. She was saying that she always knew something was upsetting me all the time, and was actually extremely happy to see me write it because it's the most feelings she has seen from me in all of my life. She went onto other stuff, like how she just wants me to be happy in life no matter what it takes, and said she supports me, is proud of me, etc.

TL;DR, happiest I've been in years.
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  #3852    
Old May 29th, 2013 (11:16 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Insomniac:
You know what I did? I deleted her phone number.

And now I swear to god I feel 80% better than yesterday. I didn't feel obliged to text her every time I saw her name.
That's great! That is the first step. Try to get her out of your mind.

@Aeon- That is amazing! You are so lucky to have such a supportive mom. I am happy for you
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  #3853    
Old May 29th, 2013 (04:50 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Counterfeit:
If you remember my previous post I was becoming pretty sure I was bi, but it still wasn't the most clear cut thing ever.

Well, as I continue to try and understand my sexuality I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that it's empathy for the other person that's key.

Physically attraction is present, but not nearly as relevant.

To put it crudely I get off from making other people feel good. (Or as it stands at the moment, imagining such things wow that sounds lonely ._. )

Now, not that I need one at all but, is there a name for this? Demisexual seems the closest, but still pretty far off as the empathy doesn't have to come from any deep relationship.

As well is anyone else, or does anybody know of anybody, similar to me in this regard?
Demisexual is pretty accurate yeah. I think I'm demisexual too but I still only love women. It can apply to anyone pretty much.

Quote originally posted by Aeon:
Demi is probably the most accurate thing for ya.

Anyways, back to what happened last night:

So I decided I would finally tell my mom that I am MtF through a three page letter, also going about how the gender dysphoria has slowed down my progress, my life happiness, and how I'm just looking for support. Well when I got home last night we talked about it for about a solid thirty minutes. She was saying that she always knew something was upsetting me all the time, and was actually extremely happy to see me write it because it's the most feelings she has seen from me in all of my life. She went onto other stuff, like how she just wants me to be happy in life no matter what it takes, and said she supports me, is proud of me, etc.

TL;DR, happiest I've been in years.
That is so great :D I was hoping it would go well but I was also fearing the alternative. I'm so glad she accepts you!

Quote originally posted by Rai:
That's great! That is the first step. Try to get her out of your mind.

@Aeon- That is amazing! You are so lucky to have such a supportive mom. I am happy for you ^^
I have also made it clear to her that I have no intention of flirting with her either.. I'm tired of it.

This thread is turning happier lol
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  #3854    
Old May 29th, 2013 (05:06 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Aeon:
So I decided I would finally tell my mom that I am MtF through a three page letter, also going about how the gender dysphoria has slowed down my progress, my life happiness, and how I'm just looking for support. Well when I got home last night we talked about it for about a solid thirty minutes. She was saying that she always knew something was upsetting me all the time, and was actually extremely happy to see me write it because it's the most feelings she has seen from me in all of my life. She went onto other stuff, like how she just wants me to be happy in life no matter what it takes, and said she supports me, is proud of me, etc.

TL;DR, happiest I've been in years.
That's really something. It's great to have someone you can be open with and who can be supportive of you.
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  #3855    
Old May 30th, 2013 (11:38 AM).
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BI-ROMATIC/PANROMATIC DEMISEXUAL!

I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!

HOLY **** you have no idea of the load that has taken off my shoulders

actually of all people you lot should come the closest
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  #3856    
Old May 31st, 2013 (03:51 PM).
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So, I had my heart ripped out by a text message earlier today.

Apparently she didn't see us together in the 'end game' and thought it would be easier than to break it off two years from now.

That I can get. I understand feeling that way.

But a flipping text message. That's the lowest form of...

I just need all the hugs.

On the other hand. Back on the market. Overjoyed >:/
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  #3857    
Old May 31st, 2013 (04:11 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Counterfeit:
BI-ROMATIC/PANROMATIC DEMISEXUAL!

I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!

HOLY **** you have no idea of the load that has taken off my shoulders

actually of all people you lot should come the closest
That is a really long label :o Cool you figured it out

Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
So, I had my heart ripped out by a text message earlier today.

Apparently she didn't see us together in the 'end game' and thought it would be easier than to break it off two years from now.

That I can get. I understand feeling that way.

But a flipping text message. That's the lowest form of...

I just need all the hugs.

On the other hand. Back on the market. Overjoyed >:/
:( *hugs* ugh I know how you feel. You know you've got someone to talk to buddy
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  #3858    
Old May 31st, 2013 (04:21 PM).
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Worst part is she did this and hour before I needed to be at work. So now I haven't had a chance to recover since. And by recover I mean play Skyrim and kill everything in game, then find my dog to use as giant pillow, proceed cuddling while watching cheesy comedies all night. And then later in the week having a large bonfire with my bro.

I have a system.

I think I give up on romance though. Being a hopeless romantic sucks from this point of view.
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  #3859    
Old May 31st, 2013 (05:38 PM).
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You'll die a little inside every time it happens. It's not too bad in the long run, though. I don't think I'm a romantic anymore and life is pretty awesome considering that what I had before was a dream and not a very good one. You'll learn that you're still able to chase dreams, it's just up to you to find the right ones to chase. I think it's very empowering to realize that you don't need to be limited by the expectations brought about by being a hopeless romantic, and as well realizing your ability to vie so fiercely for something. Somebody better always comes along, so I'm told, but it's probably true.
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  #3860    
Old May 31st, 2013 (06:41 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Counterfeit:
BI-ROMATIC/PANROMATIC DEMISEXUAL!

I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!

HOLY **** you have no idea of the load that has taken off my shoulders

actually of all people you lot should come the closest
I know exactly how you feel Congratulations on figuring it out!
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  #3861    
Old May 31st, 2013 (07:19 PM).
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YamiNoBlade Twihiki Amias YamiNoBlade Twihiki Amias is offline
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Quote originally posted by Counterfeit:
BI-ROMATIC/PANROMATIC DEMISEXUAL!

I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!

HOLY **** you have no idea of the load that has taken off my shoulders

actually of all people you lot should come the closest
ZOMG, CONGRATS CONGRATS!! :D The load must have been sooo bulky~ x.x



Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
So, I had my heart ripped out by a text message earlier today.

Apparently she didn't see us together in the 'end game' and thought it would be easier than to break it off two years from now.

That I can get. I understand feeling that way.

But a flipping text message. That's the lowest form of...

I just need all the hugs.

On the other hand. Back on the market. Overjoyed >:/
WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD DO IT OVER A TEXT MESSAGE?? THAT'S JUST....UGH!!~ -.-'

I'm sorry about your heart being ripped out, know what it's like... D:

*Gives you a big hug* :>

Yeah being back in the market must feel pretty godamn good, no? xD
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  #3862    
Old May 31st, 2013 (10:08 PM).
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Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
Worst part is she did this and hour before I needed to be at work. So now I haven't had a chance to recover since. And by recover I mean play Skyrim and kill everything in game, then find my dog to use as giant pillow, proceed cuddling while watching cheesy comedies all night. And then later in the week having a large bonfire with my bro.

I have a system.

I think I give up on romance though. Being a hopeless romantic sucks from this point of view.
:( You'll find someone great eventually. It is a process that takes a while depending on how you go through it. We'll be supporting you though

Quote originally posted by BlahISuck:
You'll die a little inside every time it happens. It's not too bad in the long run, though. I don't think I'm a romantic anymore and life is pretty awesome considering that what I had before was a dream and not a very good one. You'll learn that you're still able to chase dreams, it's just up to you to find the right ones to chase. I think it's very empowering to realize that you don't need to be limited by the expectations brought about by being a hopeless romantic, and as well realizing your ability to vie so fiercely for something. Somebody better always comes along, so I'm told, but it's probably true.
I agree with this. Times will be tough for a while, but you have to eventually move on. Someone else will come along :)
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  #3863    
Old June 1st, 2013 (02:36 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Insomniac:
That is a really long label :o Cool you figured it out
Yeah, unfortunately I think It has the potential to work against it's credibility; I can imagine getting a quarter way through it and my dad bursting out laughing.

I'm probably going to simplify it when telling my parents and just say I'm Bi. (eventually)

I've told my closest cousin already though and he's been very accepting. :']

Quote originally posted by Inkblots:
I know exactly how you feel :) Congratulations on figuring it out!
I'm glad you figured yourself out too. :]

Quote originally posted by Twihiki_Amias:
ZOMG, CONGRATS CONGRATS!! :D The load must have been sooo bulky~ x.x
Not only had It caused me to question myself as to whether I was making up any attraction I had for guys o_0, but also caused me to have feelings that, when directed towards certain people, are deemed inappropriate by most. (e.g Relationships that start out platonic and are perceived by the other party to be fixed in place here can often turn into an unrequited kinda biz)


tyyyyy again you lovely people

I'll stop going on now though and join in the conversation.

@Insomniac: Deleting their number was a good move. Out of sight, out of mind.

It really pays to watch how much you think about things that are getting you down, and whether anything good comes out of it at all.

Focus on yourself and the things that you enjoy instead, and like Phantom said have to stuff to do.

@Aeon: That's aweeesoooome news! :DD

And well done, you were really brave. :]

Writing it down was a good move; I think this method of delivery really helps combat people underestimating the certainty that we feel and how much thought has gone into it all.

@Phantom: I'd like to believe that the reason they chose to text that instead of saying it face to face is because they were, to a certain extent, embarrassed. It's usually a problem they THEY have in these types of situations, which they are aware of, and just struggle to break it off without hurting the other person.

This is just what I'm getting from my experience though.
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  #3864    
Old June 1st, 2013 (03:50 AM).
Classical Insect Classical Insect is offline
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Interrupting the flow, per usual.

Quote originally posted by Counterfeit:
BI-ROMATIC/PANROMATIC DEMISEXUAL!
I'm going to say that I'm ignorant of these terms for the most part, care to explain them in your own terms? I mean, I looked it up and I sorta kinda get it.

Also, congrats Jose~
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  #3865    
Old June 1st, 2013 (04:36 AM).
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Magic Magic is online now
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To add to the whole 'text break up thing', do people really view it as that bad?

I've had to break up with the majority of my exs, not because I hated them or anything but either the situation was hard or we had drifted a part a lot. Text was the best way for me to do it because I found the words almost impossible to say, the one time I did break up with someone face-to-face I was drunk and utterly fed up with them.

Basically, the ones I cared about I broke up with by text - imo it's short, quick, and means there isn't the potential to break down and reconsider.
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  #3866    
Old June 1st, 2013 (04:38 AM).
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Hey y'all, I just saw this thread & even as a straight I was curious to take a look
I think it would be fun to join, not because I'm LGBT but because I might have stuff to add.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hater or anything just so you know, I think I have some experiences that I would like to share, they're not mine though they're of people I know in real life, also I might give some advice, maybe from a straight's point of view?

I also don't want to say if I actually support gay marriage rights or not because:
- If I say I do then the people in real life that I know, who are stalking me here, would hate me.
- If I say I don't then all of you will hate me.


Also this:

This is kinda true in KSA, there are more secretly gay men than meets the eye, mainly because women don't exist in a growing boy's mind, since the only woman he will ever see is his mother, all other women across the country completely cover their body & face, so this makes sense.
They never made a gay pride however, because obviously KSA is an Islamic country, & Islam forbids homosexuality, & the penalty in KSA is death, it's not the same however in other Islamic countries.
I don't live there, but I know people who do & they told me this, but it's funny 'cause I was also told that the king already knows about the gays but he is pretending not to...

So anyway, I would like to join, but I hope you allow me to refrain from adding a user-bar or anything similar in my sig.
Cheers
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  #3867    
Old June 1st, 2013 (05:35 AM). Edited June 1st, 2013 by Josephine.
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Quote originally posted by Retro Bug:
Interrupting the flow, per usual.



I'm going to say that I'm ignorant of these terms for the most part, care to explain them in your own terms? I mean, I looked it up and I sorta kinda get it.

Also, congrats Jose~
ty!

And ok:

I feel romantic interest for both/any gender, but sexual interest only develops from a real connection. (Again though, gender is not a concern)

That is to say the more interesting I find a human and the more I connect to a human, the more sexually attracted to them I am.

I appreciate aesthetics greatly and this is in fact one of the main ways in which I feel a connection can begin to form (at least in the scenario of meeting someone new) but It's things like clothes and hair etc that are key here as they're a direct extension of personality.

Appreciation of physical aesthetics develops, but to quote "Kitty Spoon Train" of asexuality.org it is "because their appearance [is] the physical form of the person underneath, rather than some kind of predetermined aesthetic form which I can appreciate in a depersonalised way" and so requires that connection.


I think I've 'filed' myself correctly, but it is damn confusing. I've also been assured that when it gets this complicated wherever you feel you fit best is probably right.

That said, if anyone disagrees or knows of a more fitting name for this let me know.
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Old June 1st, 2013 (07:51 AM).
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Brynjolf Brynjolf is offline
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Quote originally posted by Counterfeit:
ty!

And ok:

I feel romantic interest for both/any gender, but sexual interest only develops from a real connection. (Again though, gender is not a concern)

That is to say the more interesting I find a human and the more I connect to a human, the more sexually attracted to them I am.

I appreciate aesthetics greatly and this is in fact one of the main ways in which I feel a connection can begin to form (at least in the scenario of meeting someone new) but It's things like clothes and hair etc that are key here as they're a direct extension of personality.

Appreciation of physical aesthetics develops, but to quote "Kitty Spoon Train" of asexuality.org it is "because their appearance [is] the physical form of the person underneath, rather than some kind of predetermined aesthetic form which I can appreciate in a depersonalised way" and so requires that connection.


I think I've 'filed' myself correctly, but it is damn confusing. I've also been assured that when it gets this complicated wherever you feel you fit best is probably right.

That said, if anyone disagrees or knows of a more fitting name for this let me know.
Haha I think you've got it all figured out. I don't think you'd need to fix the label, you've got it so precise now.

Hey I've got a question

Does anyone else who is gay have random crushes on the opposite sex? Even though you're gay?

(Because I would in no way date/touch/etc a man, but damn RDJ is hot)
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Old June 1st, 2013 (08:53 AM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime?
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Old June 1st, 2013 (09:01 AM).
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Quote originally posted by BlahISuck:
I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime? :S
Same here. I've liked about a total of 3-4 in my total life.

But that doesn't stop me from knowing what my preferences are.

I don't have to test out a relationship to know if the person's the kind of person I like.
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Old June 1st, 2013 (09:22 AM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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Do you think people do that? Test out relationships? So once they break up with you they'll never want to get back together again? That makes the world feel soo much colder.
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Old June 1st, 2013 (09:28 AM).
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Brynjolf Brynjolf is offline
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Quote originally posted by BlahISuck:
Do you think people do that? Test out relationships? So once they break up with you they'll never want to get back together again? That makes the world feel soo much colder. :(
Sadly, people do.

Bi curious people are the highest offenders (I have nothing against bi curious but it's the truth) they'll go out with someone to experiment and then break up with them if they figure out they're not bi or they just don't care.

Of course there are good bi curious and mischievous bi curious (the ones who are only "bi" because they think it's cool)
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Old June 6th, 2013 (07:01 AM).
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FenrirDarkWolf FenrirDarkWolf is offline
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So...
My boyfriend and I broke up for too reason.
One: I did find someone else my age, and, we're together now.
Two: I feel like me and him just lost that.. Spark, y'know?

But he didn't mind. He said he would wait for me. And for that, I'm forever grateful.

I still feel a small bit bad for what Leon(my new guy) did for me... In that, he broke up with his boyfriend at the time, and the bastard had to Leon a "dick, stupid ass, and worthless" and I just wanted to find this guy and beat his ass so badly for putting Leon though hell like that.
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Old June 6th, 2013 (08:34 AM).
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LOL I know what that feels like (losing spark) and it's kind of hilarious to me. To think how quickly feelings can change in so short a span of time. I'm kind of apathetic about it now.
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Old June 6th, 2013 (11:13 AM).
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I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
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