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  #4151    
Old September 3rd, 2013 (9:18 AM).
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Jasper Jasper is offline
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Originally Posted by Magic Fox View Post
I hate to break it to your friend but this is actually a good thing. There are far too many people in the world anyway o_o.

Plus I don't see how us getting married would stop straight couples reproducing in anyway. It's a bit of a silly reason :D.
This is what I try to explain to my dad.

What is strange is that he was raised Christian, says constantly that creationism is bullcrap and "who knows what happens after death, who knows if god even exists. we should just enjoy life while we can, because no one really knows whats good or bad or if he's even out there".

Yet... he hates gays. I'm not even allowed to say the word gay.

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  #4152    
Old September 4th, 2013 (2:57 AM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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I just... don't understand. The mind boggles so much that Australia wants Tony Abbott. They all know he's mad as a cut snake, it's ridiculous. There is no alternative so bad that Tony Abbott is the correct option. The worst part of it is that Kevin Rudd finally changed his position on gay marriage, just when it was too late.
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  #4153    
Old September 4th, 2013 (7:12 PM). Edited September 5th, 2013 by Kanzler.
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Come to Canada, bro. We're pretty much the same country - Anglo, immigrants, population, economy, huge amounts of territory where nobody lives, the natives we forget about, proud military traditions, and plenty of uranium! Same-sex marriage included.

-----

So I'm cruising along the internet and PC and find myself on r/genderqueer. Then I read this:

Quote:
But after puberty hit, my peers became quite vocal about how I wasn't a normal girl. Girls don't play video games and read Plato. Girls wear bras, talk about boys, put on makeup, dress pretty and torture themselves with hot wax. I was puzzled because I just couldn't see the point in doing all those things. Bras are uncomfortable. Baggy clothes are more practical. Waxing hurts. Putting on makeup is boring.

I became widely known at school as "the tranny" and I was soon convinced there was something wrong with me.
Don't play video games and read Plato, wtf? Who makes that **** up? That just read as the most stereotypical, ignorant, mischaracterized approach to gender that I've seen in a long time. Really, Plato? Philosophizing is a man's work? I've honestly never heard of that one before. And a personality like that --> tranny? Those are some messed up assumptions with some messed up people involving someone who needs to take a damn good look at the rest of the world instead of those who happen to be in her immediate community before making sweeping conclusions like that. There is more to life than what the people physically around you think.

rant over. More serious and controversial question:

We generally take everybody who's questioning their gender or orientation seriously. Should we? Is this the case for all people? If not - when is it appropriate not to take someone seriously? I know this is a touchy subject for those of us personally invested, but it's not targeted at anybody in particular and if we can agree "all" is an overstatement, is it wrong to doubt the others?

http://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/1lqfqj/so_theres_nothing_wrong_with_me_after_all/
  #4154    
Old September 6th, 2013 (11:34 AM).
Mimosa_song Mimosa_song is offline
 
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I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.

I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support.

Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o
  #4155    
Old September 7th, 2013 (3:12 AM).
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Mana Mana is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mimosa_song View Post
I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.

I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support.

Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o
I... I think I missed the question here.


Quote:
We generally take everybody who's questioning their gender or orientation seriously. Should we? Is this the case for all people?
Oooh touchy subject here. Should we take everyone seriously - I think it depends on what counts as serious or not.

For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made.

Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter.

Did that even make sense?...
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  #4156    
Old September 7th, 2013 (12:46 PM).
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Originally Posted by Magic Fox View Post
For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made.

Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter.
I don't think it's the fact of being encouraged or discouraged, I think it's more of showing support. Support doesn't have to mean encourage. Support just means that you tell the person that you're there for them, whatever their choice is. Support, I think, is more important than encouragement. Encouragement in a situation like finding your sexuality, or figuring out your gender, sounds like peer pressure to me.

You mentioned that you know gay people who claim to be bi, well I know straight people that claim to be bi or even gay to get attention. (In my opinion these people are sick, but I digress) There are cliques where being gay is interpreted as not really cool, but attention grabbing. Where people see you as different and want to cling to you because they think its cool. Part of this is why when I told my mother I was questioning, she asked if it was someone elses' influence. She said I was just saying it because so and so was doing it.

Every situation is different though. But support is what everyone needs. Encouragement, discouragement... they make it sound like there's an option, like they're making a choice on whether to try out for the 'insert sport' team. You need to support them, not their change. Don't point out there differences, they are who they are, they are just discovering who they are.


Speaking of discovering.

So...

My heads a bit swirly right now.

Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it.

But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap.

And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's.

Demi romantic kept coming up.

Anyone willing to offer assistance?
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  #4157    
Old September 7th, 2013 (1:56 PM). Edited September 7th, 2013 by Alice.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
So...

My heads a bit swirly right now.

Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it.

But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap.

And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's.

Demi romantic kept coming up.

Anyone willing to offer assistance?
I went through the exact same thing through most of last year. I kept trying to figure out exactly who I was. I wanted to narrow it down to a single label that I could confidently say was me. After coming out to a lot of my friends, and trying to explain all of the nuances of my sexuality to them, I realized... who cares? Frankly, I don't, and I seriously doubt anyone that I'm not romantically engaged with does either. I guess I've just become jaded, but it's so much easier to just say **** it, and be me the way I want to be. If anyone asks, I say I'm bi, which is entirely inaccurate, but it's just not worth worrying about it, and it's certainly not worth explaining it to people that have never heard of a sexuality other than gay, straight, or bi.

At first, I thought I was straight, then realized I was gay, then I decided that I'm probably just bi, then realized I must be homoromantic polysexual gynephiliac, who's actual preference changes every few months. I think you can see why I stopped trying. Probably not the answer you wanted to hear, but it's how I'm dealing with the exact same situation. I also have Asperger's as well, although I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it.
  #4158    
Old September 7th, 2013 (2:26 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it.
Naw, I am too. Like. I don't know... Facts. I tend to think in facts a lot of the time with something, and the thing is there is no black and white when it comes to things, at least, this thing. It's why I read blogs, to see how others feel, and to see if their conclusions and experiences match my own.

Though demiromantic seems to be the answer... this week. >:/
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  #4159    
Old September 7th, 2013 (6:21 PM). Edited September 7th, 2013 by Entermaid.
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I'll butt into this conversation as well.

Being a gay man with virtually zero sexual attraction to women whatsoever. Straight and even those who identify as gay, that likewise are not attracted to the opposite sex, tend to be uncomfortable by the idea that of bisexuals, among other sexualities aside from gay and straight. I, myself, thought thought that most bi men were actually just gay (compensating for being portrayed as feminine), and most bi women were straight (attention-seeking). Though, certainly some people may exhibit those affectations, likely the vast majority are actually bisexual, or are simply moving closer to identifying a sexuality that transcends both gay and straight classifications which I could assume could be a struggle for those that are neither of those. The hypocrisy of it all for gay individuals that harbor this sentiment against bisexuals, "how could a person possibly be attracted to both genders" is that these sort of sentiments mirror ignorant comments about homosexuality. For instance, a good number of people still believe that being gay is a choice of lifestyle, when, in most cases, it is an inherent quality of which the only choice is either to suppress the quality or not. Essentially, like a straight person choosing to suppress their attraction for the opposite sex in place of someone of the same sex. We don't see many straight people making that choice now do we? (Though, there is always the exception)

The only sexual identification I sometimes question the intentions are for those that claim to be panromantic while simultaneous not being pansexual or asexual. For instance, if someone is only sexually attracted to men, I am not quite convinced that dating a woman is good for either person in the relationship. So, this criticism is not coming from a place of disgust or condemnation, but rather, as a voice of concern that the implication of this behavior engenders needless disappointment and hurt feelings. Though, it is troubling and even frustrating to an extent when people want to be different or stand out by being a sexual minority when it's not completely genuine, like my cousin who is a die-hard liberal stating, "Oh, I was very moved by Brokeback Mountain...now I'd really be interested in trying out being a lesbian." (Might I add, she is a 30-year-old grown woman). I really think many of these people just don't understand the complexities of sexuality, even if they are extremely tolerant and accepting of others. So no, I don't harbor disgust for those that falsely represent their sexuality, rather it's just a nuisance. I will most likely ignore this behavior or gently advise them to reconsider how their actions affect others, especially those that they are romantically involved with on a false pretense if I know the person well enough.
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  #4160    
Old September 7th, 2013 (7:22 PM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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Ehh, nuisance, disgust, tomato, tomato. I feel you.
  #4161    
Old September 9th, 2013 (9:54 PM).
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New Eden New Eden is offline
Ascension to heaven
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
That just read as the most stereotypical, ignorant, mischaracterized approach to gender that I've seen in a long time.
I think there's a bunch of people who miss the point of the whole thing. It's not that you don't conform to the roles of your assigned gender, but what really matters in the end is how you feel inside. I understand OP talks about this later on, but thought that was kinda irritating myself.

Honestly I take people seriously depending on how themselves are serious about their sexual orientation/gender identity. Most folk here seem to, so I don't see it as an issue. I am a tad bit skeptical of how seriously people take demi- into question though, kind of as if they haven't challenged themselves about it. It's particularly a description that I merely see as a preference for plenty of people, myself included. If it seems like I'm attempting to put some people down, I'm not, it's just my two cents. Maybe it's just my personal preference, since I seem to prefer to use definitions instead of labels, I don't know.
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  #4162    
Old September 16th, 2013 (5:21 AM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenneking
Straight and even those who identify as gay, that likewise are not attracted to the opposite sex, tend to be uncomfortable by the idea that of bisexuals, among other sexualities aside from gay and straight. I, myself, thought thought that most bi men were actually just gay (compensating for being portrayed as feminine), and most bi women were straight (attention-seeking). Though, certainly some people may exhibit those affectations, likely the vast majority are actually bisexual, or are simply moving closer to identifying a sexuality that transcends both gay and straight classifications which I could assume could be a struggle for those that are neither of those.
I agree with this mostly - I've often thought this myself. But I don't know that it comes from a place of discomfort exactly. I've never been uncomfortable with the idea of people being bisexual, and I've never disbelieved in the orientation itself, but I did believe that most people were faking it as either a stepping stone to ease people into their homosexuality or for attention. That's because in the teenage years, that can quite often be the case, as it was in my experience.
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  #4163    
Old September 25th, 2013 (12:11 AM).
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Uh, well, my gf is not my gf anymore, but she's still lovely -w-
Maybe hope for the future, but then maybe not, who knows, but she's still a valued friend no matter how it goes.

About bisexuality...for some reason...I don't feel right if I say I'm bi o_o I feel like it doesn't explain enough or something, though I don't know what else I'd have to explain. Like it sounds too broad..? Or not broad enough? Actually, I have no idea, I just like people sometimes.
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  #4164    
Old September 25th, 2013 (8:53 AM).
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Maybe you should just avoid labeling yourself. After all, there aren't enough labels out there to describe everyone and if you're not comfortable with the constraints of the label then you shouldn't force yourself into it. "I just like people sometimes" might be the most appropriate label for you.
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  #4165    
Old September 27th, 2013 (2:32 AM).
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Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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While I do see the need for labels, in this instance I'd have to agree with Scarfy. Sometimes it's better not to think too much, especially in situations that shouldn't necessarily be about thinking. Do what you want, be attracted to who you're attracted to and let that be that.

Or if you really feel the need to say something, then something I often find helpful is saying "I'm a boy who likes boys." That way I'm not saying I'm gay, but I'm describing my gender and my attraction. Then there's no need for a label or a pigeonhole, just a description of what's up.
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  #4166    
Old September 27th, 2013 (4:41 AM).
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I'd have to agree with Scarfy too, Sometimes it's better not to think too much\\
  #4167    
Old September 27th, 2013 (4:04 PM).
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Oh, I don't think you can ever think too much. :D

But you don't need to dwell on certain things. Like, if you have a door to open and none of the keys you have work, it doesn't help to keep trying them, but you should think about how else you can open the door or whether opening the door is really what you should be doing.
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  #4168    
Old September 27th, 2013 (4:08 PM).
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Kanzler Kanzler is offline
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The solution to that problem is climbing on top of your roof and breaking into your own house through a window. Been there, done that. Tangent, I know. I guess the analogy would be - do something original!
  #4169    
Old September 28th, 2013 (2:04 AM).
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Ah, I was just adding my thoughts about bisexuality :3 I'm pretty comfortable with it myself, but I was just meaning it's difficult to explain exactly how it is if someone else asks or if it comes up in discussion somehow lol
Most of the time it's just with friends so I can tell them whatever I want, but it's still weird when someone's like, "Oh, so you're bi?" I just...no. I just don't like the word! Kinda like how I'll always say "I'm from the US" rather than "I'm American" because the word "American" reminds me of the taste of American cheese by itself.
:P
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  #4170    
Old September 29th, 2013 (8:34 AM).
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Oh, goodness, I would never say to someone "Oh, so you're _____?" Really awkward. It's, like, what would you expect as a response? "Nope, not really. I just wanted to confuse you."
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  #4171    
Old October 1st, 2013 (11:45 AM).
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Shiarra Shiarra is offline
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I'd like to join please, what are the requirements?
  #4172    
Old October 1st, 2013 (11:51 AM).
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I'd like to join please, what are the requirements?
You've just met them by posting. Everyone who is amazing is welcome.

It's not all that rules-intensive. Just chime in to whatever discussion is going on or bring up whatever you feel like. Well, as long as it's not breaking the rules of course. You can tell us about yourself, ask questions - whatever. No pressure to talk about yourself though. Respectin' boundaries and all that.
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  #4173    
Old October 1st, 2013 (12:04 PM).
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Shiarra Shiarra is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
You've just met them by posting. Everyone who is amazing is welcome.

It's not all that rules-intensive. Just chime in to whatever discussion is going on or bring up whatever you feel like. Well, as long as it's not breaking the rules of course. You can tell us about yourself, ask questions - whatever. No pressure to talk about yourself though. Respectin' boundaries and all that.
Thank you for the explanation.
  #4174    
Old October 1st, 2013 (6:31 PM).
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I just moved to a city I've more or less never been to... don't know anyone at all. I've been trying to find get-togethers for games and stuff, but there's just... nothing. Are there LGBT clubs, or anything that aren't associated with a school? Haven't been able to find anything unfortunately, but I'm gonna go crazy just sitting alone at home. lol
  #4175    
Old October 7th, 2013 (12:19 AM).
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Phantom's back!


Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
I just moved to a city I've more or less never been to... don't know anyone at all. I've been trying to find get-togethers for games and stuff, but there's just... nothing. Are there LGBT clubs, or anything that aren't associated with a school? Haven't been able to find anything unfortunately, but I'm gonna go crazy just sitting alone at home. lol
Well, depends on the city.

If you can't find a group, and surely there has to be one SOMEWHERE if you dig deep enough. If not, well, what's stopping you from creating one? Sometimes, if groups are hard to find, maybe it's because those that run them aren't advertising enough, or they need people who are willing to be out there and be active.


ANYWHO, guess who finally had a total sitdown with her family today? This person.

It was... Not bad. My mom cried a bit and my dad was quiet. My grandma, well I'm not sure, she's a really good actor... but they aren't mad, that's a plus.

I think I finally got through to them that it isn't a phase, or something I am going through. They agreed, saying, according to my mother that when I mentioned being bi (back in the day I labeled myself that because I was in that stage of discovering myself) they knew that there was a 95% chance of being totally lesbain. So my mom said she was only 5% shocked. I think that works. They said they love me because I am a good person, that I'm theirs, not because of who I love.

My mom was actually upset I didn't say anything sooner.

Anywho, I didn't go into big labeling, I just said that yep, I like woman. I've dated women.

It's a happy feeling. Like... it feels like it's my birthday. It's just that excitement you feel just under your skin and you just feel like nothing can go wrong. Like I have exciting news to tell everybody.

I think it's the best thing I've done in a long time.
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