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  #4151    
Old August 29th, 2013 (03:03 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
I think that's why people's first relationships usually don't work out in the end, 'cuz lots of first relationships happen when you're young and still figuring out your future.

Heck, I know a few people in their 20s and 30s who still don't have their futures figured out and are having dating issues because of it.
OMG! Your avatar is adorable xD
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Old August 29th, 2013 (04:02 PM).
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Hi, I was wondering if I can join this club. Been looking at it on and off for a while. I support and all for it. I'm not sure I'm heterosexual but anything can be possible. (Though always been heterosexual ) But I like to chat here and meet others. I love helping and I care for others a lot. Nice meeting you all.
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Old August 31st, 2013 (12:45 PM).
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I'm seriously starting to think I overestimated that puddle earlier. >:\

ANYWHO

Question for people that now live in areas that allow gay marriage. My state, Minnesota, just legalized gay marriage, with the starting date August first. How has allowing gay marriage effected the LGBT community in your area? Are people being more open?

Because I'm sort of noticing that. People are being way more open with their orientation, I mean, someone flirted with me at the grocery store, and I'm pretty sure I've seen that woman before, since I go to the same store every week. She must live in the area. Just something tells me that she would not have done that a month ago.


Quote originally posted by Mimosa_song:
Hi, I was wondering if I can join this club. Been looking at it on and off for a while. I support and all for it. I'm not sure I'm heterosexual but anything can be possible. (Though always been heterosexual ) But I like to chat here and meet others. I love helping and I care for others a lot. Nice meeting you all.
Nice to meet ya.

Welcome to the club, Shining will now sing you the theme song.

*waits*
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Old August 31st, 2013 (01:12 PM).
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We have a theme song? o.O I've never had anybody flirt at me before :\ dunno what that feels like
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Old August 31st, 2013 (04:07 PM).
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Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
Question for people that now live in areas that allow gay marriage. My state, Minnesota, just legalized gay marriage, with the starting date August first. How has allowing gay marriage effected the LGBT community in your area? Are people being more open?
Well considering the fact that gay marriage isn't legal in Australia and the party that is supporting Gay Marriage probably isn't going to win in the election.... I"ll get back to you in 5-20 years.
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Old August 31st, 2013 (05:24 PM).
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I've been lurking for a while now without posting but I felt the necessity.

Our theme-song;
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Old September 1st, 2013 (04:40 AM).
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Quote originally posted by GreatTornado:
Well considering the fact that gay marriage isn't legal in Australia and the party that is supporting Gay Marriage probably isn't going to win in the election.... I"ll get back to you in 5-20 years.
Don't worry, I'm gonna vote for them and there seems to be a lot of support for them in my area! I wouldn't write them off just yet - a lot of people don't like Tony Abbott.
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Old September 1st, 2013 (03:04 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
Don't worry, I'm gonna vote for them and there seems to be a lot of support for them in my area! I wouldn't write them off just yet - a lot of people don't like Tony Abbott.
Unfortunately, Australia wants Tony...
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Old September 1st, 2013 (04:09 PM).
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I'm still confused as to which areas allow gay marriage and which areas don't, it's all happening so fast! I actually had a gay marriage discussion with a friend of mine. He said he doesn't have anything against gays but is against gay marriage for complicated reasons. Basically, he thinks it will result in a population decrease. I believe marriage is just a title and won't affect the number of homosexuals nor the amount of couples that want children. There's no reason it shouldn't be legalized.
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  #4160    
Old September 2nd, 2013 (01:53 AM).
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Quote originally posted by U_Flame:
Basically, he thinks it will result in a population decrease.
I hate to break it to your friend but this is actually a good thing. There are far too many people in the world anyway o_o.

Plus I don't see how us getting married would stop straight couples reproducing in anyway. It's a bit of a silly reason :D.
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Old September 2nd, 2013 (09:52 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Magic Fox:
Plus I don't see how us getting married would stop straight couples reproducing in anyway. It's a bit of a silly reason :D.
B-b-but that's impossible! Letting gays marry means that our kids will turn out to be gay and the whole world will will DIE!!!!!!

That's what I would say anyway.
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Old September 3rd, 2013 (09:18 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Magic Fox:
I hate to break it to your friend but this is actually a good thing. There are far too many people in the world anyway o_o.

Plus I don't see how us getting married would stop straight couples reproducing in anyway. It's a bit of a silly reason :D.
This is what I try to explain to my dad.

What is strange is that he was raised Christian, says constantly that creationism is bullcrap and "who knows what happens after death, who knows if god even exists. we should just enjoy life while we can, because no one really knows whats good or bad or if he's even out there".

Yet... he hates gays. I'm not even allowed to say the word gay.
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Old September 4th, 2013 (02:57 AM).
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I just... don't understand. The mind boggles so much that Australia wants Tony Abbott. They all know he's mad as a cut snake, it's ridiculous. There is no alternative so bad that Tony Abbott is the correct option. The worst part of it is that Kevin Rudd finally changed his position on gay marriage, just when it was too late.
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  #4164    
Old September 4th, 2013 (07:12 PM). Edited September 5th, 2013 by Kanzler.
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Come to Canada, bro. We're pretty much the same country - Anglo, immigrants, population, economy, huge amounts of territory where nobody lives, the natives we forget about, proud military traditions, and plenty of uranium! Same-sex marriage included.

-----

So I'm cruising along the internet and PC and find myself on r/genderqueer. Then I read this:

Quote:
But after puberty hit, my peers became quite vocal about how I wasn't a normal girl. Girls don't play video games and read Plato. Girls wear bras, talk about boys, put on makeup, dress pretty and torture themselves with hot wax. I was puzzled because I just couldn't see the point in doing all those things. Bras are uncomfortable. Baggy clothes are more practical. Waxing hurts. Putting on makeup is boring.

I became widely known at school as "the tranny" and I was soon convinced there was something wrong with me.
Don't play video games and read Plato, wtf? Who makes that **** up? That just read as the most stereotypical, ignorant, mischaracterized approach to gender that I've seen in a long time. Really, Plato? Philosophizing is a man's work? I've honestly never heard of that one before. And a personality like that --> tranny? Those are some messed up assumptions with some messed up people involving someone who needs to take a damn good look at the rest of the world instead of those who happen to be in her immediate community before making sweeping conclusions like that. There is more to life than what the people physically around you think.

rant over. More serious and controversial question:

We generally take everybody who's questioning their gender or orientation seriously. Should we? Is this the case for all people? If not - when is it appropriate not to take someone seriously? I know this is a touchy subject for those of us personally invested, but it's not targeted at anybody in particular and if we can agree "all" is an overstatement, is it wrong to doubt the others?

http://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/1lqfqj/so_theres_nothing_wrong_with_me_after_all/
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Old September 6th, 2013 (11:34 AM).
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I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.

I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support.

Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o
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Old September 7th, 2013 (03:12 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Mimosa_song:
I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.

I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support.

Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o
I... I think I missed the question here.


Quote:
We generally take everybody who's questioning their gender or orientation seriously. Should we? Is this the case for all people?
Oooh touchy subject here. Should we take everyone seriously - I think it depends on what counts as serious or not.

For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made.

Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter.

Did that even make sense?...
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Old September 7th, 2013 (12:46 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Magic Fox:
For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made.

Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter.
I don't think it's the fact of being encouraged or discouraged, I think it's more of showing support. Support doesn't have to mean encourage. Support just means that you tell the person that you're there for them, whatever their choice is. Support, I think, is more important than encouragement. Encouragement in a situation like finding your sexuality, or figuring out your gender, sounds like peer pressure to me.

You mentioned that you know gay people who claim to be bi, well I know straight people that claim to be bi or even gay to get attention. (In my opinion these people are sick, but I digress) There are cliques where being gay is interpreted as not really cool, but attention grabbing. Where people see you as different and want to cling to you because they think its cool. Part of this is why when I told my mother I was questioning, she asked if it was someone elses' influence. She said I was just saying it because so and so was doing it.

Every situation is different though. But support is what everyone needs. Encouragement, discouragement... they make it sound like there's an option, like they're making a choice on whether to try out for the 'insert sport' team. You need to support them, not their change. Don't point out there differences, they are who they are, they are just discovering who they are.


Speaking of discovering.

So...

My heads a bit swirly right now.

Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it.

But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap.

And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's.

Demi romantic kept coming up.

Anyone willing to offer assistance?
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Old September 7th, 2013 (01:56 PM). Edited September 7th, 2013 by Alice.
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Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
So...

My heads a bit swirly right now.

Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it.

But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap.

And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's.

Demi romantic kept coming up.

Anyone willing to offer assistance?
I went through the exact same thing through most of last year. I kept trying to figure out exactly who I was. I wanted to narrow it down to a single label that I could confidently say was me. After coming out to a lot of my friends, and trying to explain all of the nuances of my sexuality to them, I realized... who cares? Frankly, I don't, and I seriously doubt anyone that I'm not romantically engaged with does either. I guess I've just become jaded, but it's so much easier to just say **** it, and be me the way I want to be. If anyone asks, I say I'm bi, which is entirely inaccurate, but it's just not worth worrying about it, and it's certainly not worth explaining it to people that have never heard of a sexuality other than gay, straight, or bi.

At first, I thought I was straight, then realized I was gay, then I decided that I'm probably just bi, then realized I must be homoromantic polysexual gynephiliac, who's actual preference changes every few months. I think you can see why I stopped trying. Probably not the answer you wanted to hear, but it's how I'm dealing with the exact same situation. I also have Asperger's as well, although I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it.
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Old September 7th, 2013 (02:26 PM).
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Quote originally posted by QuilavaKing:
This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it.
Naw, I am too. Like. I don't know... Facts. I tend to think in facts a lot of the time with something, and the thing is there is no black and white when it comes to things, at least, this thing. It's why I read blogs, to see how others feel, and to see if their conclusions and experiences match my own.

Though demiromantic seems to be the answer... this week. >:/
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Old September 7th, 2013 (06:21 PM). Edited September 7th, 2013 by The Dark Avenger.
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I'll butt into this conversation as well.

Being a gay man with virtually zero sexual attraction to women whatsoever. Straight and even those who identify as gay, that likewise are not attracted to the opposite sex, tend to be uncomfortable by the idea that of bisexuals, among other sexualities aside from gay and straight. I, myself, thought thought that most bi men were actually just gay (compensating for being portrayed as feminine), and most bi women were straight (attention-seeking). Though, certainly some people may exhibit those affectations, likely the vast majority are actually bisexual, or are simply moving closer to identifying a sexuality that transcends both gay and straight classifications which I could assume could be a struggle for those that are neither of those. The hypocrisy of it all for gay individuals that harbor this sentiment against bisexuals, "how could a person possibly be attracted to both genders" is that these sort of sentiments mirror ignorant comments about homosexuality. For instance, a good number of people still believe that being gay is a choice of lifestyle, when, in most cases, it is an inherent quality of which the only choice is either to suppress the quality or not. Essentially, like a straight person choosing to suppress their attraction for the opposite sex in place of someone of the same sex. We don't see many straight people making that choice now do we? (Though, there is always the exception)

The only sexual identification I sometimes question the intentions are for those that claim to be panromantic while simultaneous not being pansexual or asexual. For instance, if someone is only sexually attracted to men, I am not quite convinced that dating a woman is good for either person in the relationship. So, this criticism is not coming from a place of disgust or condemnation, but rather, as a voice of concern that the implication of this behavior engenders needless disappointment and hurt feelings. Though, it is troubling and even frustrating to an extent when people want to be different or stand out by being a sexual minority when it's not completely genuine, like my cousin who is a die-hard liberal stating, "Oh, I was very moved by Brokeback Mountain...now I'd really be interested in trying out being a lesbian." (Might I add, she is a 30-year-old grown woman). I really think many of these people just don't understand the complexities of sexuality, even if they are extremely tolerant and accepting of others. So no, I don't harbor disgust for those that falsely represent their sexuality, rather it's just a nuisance. I will most likely ignore this behavior or gently advise them to reconsider how their actions affect others, especially those that they are romantically involved with on a false pretense if I know the person well enough.
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Old September 7th, 2013 (07:22 PM).
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Ehh, nuisance, disgust, tomato, tomato. I feel you.
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Old September 9th, 2013 (09:54 PM).
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Quote originally posted by BlahISuck:
That just read as the most stereotypical, ignorant, mischaracterized approach to gender that I've seen in a long time.
I think there's a bunch of people who miss the point of the whole thing. It's not that you don't conform to the roles of your assigned gender, but what really matters in the end is how you feel inside. I understand OP talks about this later on, but thought that was kinda irritating myself.

Honestly I take people seriously depending on how themselves are serious about their sexual orientation/gender identity. Most folk here seem to, so I don't see it as an issue. I am a tad bit skeptical of how seriously people take demi- into question though, kind of as if they haven't challenged themselves about it. It's particularly a description that I merely see as a preference for plenty of people, myself included. If it seems like I'm attempting to put some people down, I'm not, it's just my two cents. Maybe it's just my personal preference, since I seem to prefer to use definitions instead of labels, I don't know.
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Old September 16th, 2013 (05:21 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Fenneking:
Straight and even those who identify as gay, that likewise are not attracted to the opposite sex, tend to be uncomfortable by the idea that of bisexuals, among other sexualities aside from gay and straight. I, myself, thought thought that most bi men were actually just gay (compensating for being portrayed as feminine), and most bi women were straight (attention-seeking). Though, certainly some people may exhibit those affectations, likely the vast majority are actually bisexual, or are simply moving closer to identifying a sexuality that transcends both gay and straight classifications which I could assume could be a struggle for those that are neither of those.
I agree with this mostly - I've often thought this myself. But I don't know that it comes from a place of discomfort exactly. I've never been uncomfortable with the idea of people being bisexual, and I've never disbelieved in the orientation itself, but I did believe that most people were faking it as either a stepping stone to ease people into their homosexuality or for attention. That's because in the teenage years, that can quite often be the case, as it was in my experience.
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Old September 25th, 2013 (12:11 AM).
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Uh, well, my gf is not my gf anymore, but she's still lovely -w-
Maybe hope for the future, but then maybe not, who knows, but she's still a valued friend no matter how it goes.

About bisexuality...for some reason...I don't feel right if I say I'm bi o_o I feel like it doesn't explain enough or something, though I don't know what else I'd have to explain. Like it sounds too broad..? Or not broad enough? Actually, I have no idea, I just like people sometimes.
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Old September 25th, 2013 (08:53 AM).
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Maybe you should just avoid labeling yourself. After all, there aren't enough labels out there to describe everyone and if you're not comfortable with the constraints of the label then you shouldn't force yourself into it. "I just like people sometimes" might be the most appropriate label for you.
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