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  #4176    
Old September 6th, 2013, 11:34 AM
Mimosa_song
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
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I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.

I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support.

Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o
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  #4177    
Old September 7th, 2013, 03:12 AM
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DLOA - Please contact Adventure
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mimosa_song View Post
I had a question or just curious about some things. I know some people that are christian but support gays/trans/bi's/lesbian. The others who are christian too that say "Oh your going be dammed if you support or do that" I mean this is my view with it. I see nothing wrong with supporting or choosing that. Even though it is in the bible or people who strongly believe its really bad. I think people only should get judge on there character and good morels and are a good person or not. Than what they are sexual attracted to the same sex or changing gender.

I support people who choose than and will never look at them wrong like some people do. Since the don't know it well or like it. We bleed the same color so what? I mean I don't judged since I got judged myself and bullied for my race. So I would never not like someone who likes the same sex. I support.

Also sorry if I sad something wrong in this post. o.o
I... I think I missed the question here.


Quote:
We generally take everybody who's questioning their gender or orientation seriously. Should we? Is this the case for all people?
Oooh touchy subject here. Should we take everyone seriously - I think it depends on what counts as serious or not.

For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made.

Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter.

Did that even make sense?...
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  #4178    
Old September 7th, 2013, 12:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Magic Fox View Post
For example, I don't think an 11 year old saying they are trans/gay/bi/pigeon should be encouraged or discouraged - in a sense. So they should know they'd be supported by their friend or family but it should be made clear that it doesn't matter - a decision doesn't need to be made.

Some people undoubtably suggest things to get attention. I know many gay people who claim to be bi - should they be taken seriously? Well, I can't see in to their heads. Does it even matter.
I don't think it's the fact of being encouraged or discouraged, I think it's more of showing support. Support doesn't have to mean encourage. Support just means that you tell the person that you're there for them, whatever their choice is. Support, I think, is more important than encouragement. Encouragement in a situation like finding your sexuality, or figuring out your gender, sounds like peer pressure to me.

You mentioned that you know gay people who claim to be bi, well I know straight people that claim to be bi or even gay to get attention. (In my opinion these people are sick, but I digress) There are cliques where being gay is interpreted as not really cool, but attention grabbing. Where people see you as different and want to cling to you because they think its cool. Part of this is why when I told my mother I was questioning, she asked if it was someone elses' influence. She said I was just saying it because so and so was doing it.

Every situation is different though. But support is what everyone needs. Encouragement, discouragement... they make it sound like there's an option, like they're making a choice on whether to try out for the 'insert sport' team. You need to support them, not their change. Don't point out there differences, they are who they are, they are just discovering who they are.


Speaking of discovering.

So...

My heads a bit swirly right now.

Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it.

But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap.

And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's.

Demi romantic kept coming up.

Anyone willing to offer assistance?
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  #4179    
Old September 7th, 2013, 01:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
So...

My heads a bit swirly right now.

Earlier I realized how gay I was... but... then I met a guy. **** I actually think I have a bit of a crush on him. Before that, I thought I had me figured out. Then I realized, I still feel that I'm asexual, I mean, sex is never something that's important to me, something I care about or even enjoy. Actually, I really really don't like it.

But an emotional connection. Getting back to where I started, it's like I've done a lap.

And I did my research, looking at other asexual people, blogs, etc. Because that's how my brain works. When I don't know something I research, a lot. It's part of my Asperger's.

Demi romantic kept coming up.

Anyone willing to offer assistance?
I went through the exact same thing through most of last year. I kept trying to figure out exactly who I was. I wanted to narrow it down to a single label that I could confidently say was me. After coming out to a lot of my friends, and trying to explain all of the nuances of my sexuality to them, I realized... who cares? Frankly, I don't, and I seriously doubt anyone that I'm not romantically engaged with does either. I guess I've just become jaded, but it's so much easier to just say **** it, and be me the way I want to be. If anyone asks, I say I'm bi, which is entirely inaccurate, but it's just not worth worrying about it, and it's certainly not worth explaining it to people that have never heard of a sexuality other than gay, straight, or bi.

At first, I thought I was straight, then realized I was gay, then I decided that I'm probably just bi, then realized I must be homoromantic polysexual gynephiliac, who's actual preference changes every few months. I think you can see why I stopped trying. Probably not the answer you wanted to hear, but it's how I'm dealing with the exact same situation. I also have Asperger's as well, although I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it.
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  #4180    
Old September 7th, 2013, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
This was a rant for my own sake as much as to respond to you, so sorry if it seemed aggressive. I'm just angry at myself over it.
Naw, I am too. Like. I don't know... Facts. I tend to think in facts a lot of the time with something, and the thing is there is no black and white when it comes to things, at least, this thing. It's why I read blogs, to see how others feel, and to see if their conclusions and experiences match my own.

Though demiromantic seems to be the answer... this week. >:/
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  #4181    
Old September 7th, 2013, 06:21 PM
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The Dark Avenger
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I'll butt into this conversation as well.

Being a gay man with virtually zero sexual attraction to women whatsoever. Straight and even those who identify as gay, that likewise are not attracted to the opposite sex, tend to be uncomfortable by the idea that of bisexuals, among other sexualities aside from gay and straight. I, myself, thought thought that most bi men were actually just gay (compensating for being portrayed as feminine), and most bi women were straight (attention-seeking). Though, certainly some people may exhibit those affectations, likely the vast majority are actually bisexual, or are simply moving closer to identifying a sexuality that transcends both gay and straight classifications which I could assume could be a struggle for those that are neither of those. The hypocrisy of it all for gay individuals that harbor this sentiment against bisexuals, "how could a person possibly be attracted to both genders" is that these sort of sentiments mirror ignorant comments about homosexuality. For instance, a good number of people still believe that being gay is a choice of lifestyle, when, in most cases, it is an inherent quality of which the only choice is either to suppress the quality or not. Essentially, like a straight person choosing to suppress their attraction for the opposite sex in place of someone of the same sex. We don't see many straight people making that choice now do we? (Though, there is always the exception)

The only sexual identification I sometimes question the intentions are for those that claim to be panromantic while simultaneous not being pansexual or asexual. For instance, if someone is only sexually attracted to men, I am not quite convinced that dating a woman is good for either person in the relationship. So, this criticism is not coming from a place of disgust or condemnation, but rather, as a voice of concern that the implication of this behavior engenders needless disappointment and hurt feelings. Though, it is troubling and even frustrating to an extent when people want to be different or stand out by being a sexual minority when it's not completely genuine, like my cousin who is a die-hard liberal stating, "Oh, I was very moved by Brokeback Mountain...now I'd really be interested in trying out being a lesbian." (Might I add, she is a 30-year-old grown woman). I really think many of these people just don't understand the complexities of sexuality, even if they are extremely tolerant and accepting of others. So no, I don't harbor disgust for those that falsely represent their sexuality, rather it's just a nuisance. I will most likely ignore this behavior or gently advise them to reconsider how their actions affect others, especially those that they are romantically involved with on a false pretense if I know the person well enough.
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  #4182    
Old September 7th, 2013, 07:22 PM
Kanzler
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Ehh, nuisance, disgust, tomato, tomato. I feel you.
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  #4183    
Old September 9th, 2013, 09:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
That just read as the most stereotypical, ignorant, mischaracterized approach to gender that I've seen in a long time.
I think there's a bunch of people who miss the point of the whole thing. It's not that you don't conform to the roles of your assigned gender, but what really matters in the end is how you feel inside. I understand OP talks about this later on, but thought that was kinda irritating myself.

Honestly I take people seriously depending on how themselves are serious about their sexual orientation/gender identity. Most folk here seem to, so I don't see it as an issue. I am a tad bit skeptical of how seriously people take demi- into question though, kind of as if they haven't challenged themselves about it. It's particularly a description that I merely see as a preference for plenty of people, myself included. If it seems like I'm attempting to put some people down, I'm not, it's just my two cents. Maybe it's just my personal preference, since I seem to prefer to use definitions instead of labels, I don't know.
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  #4184    
Old September 16th, 2013, 05:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenneking
Straight and even those who identify as gay, that likewise are not attracted to the opposite sex, tend to be uncomfortable by the idea that of bisexuals, among other sexualities aside from gay and straight. I, myself, thought thought that most bi men were actually just gay (compensating for being portrayed as feminine), and most bi women were straight (attention-seeking). Though, certainly some people may exhibit those affectations, likely the vast majority are actually bisexual, or are simply moving closer to identifying a sexuality that transcends both gay and straight classifications which I could assume could be a struggle for those that are neither of those.
I agree with this mostly - I've often thought this myself. But I don't know that it comes from a place of discomfort exactly. I've never been uncomfortable with the idea of people being bisexual, and I've never disbelieved in the orientation itself, but I did believe that most people were faking it as either a stepping stone to ease people into their homosexuality or for attention. That's because in the teenage years, that can quite often be the case, as it was in my experience.
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  #4185    
Old September 25th, 2013, 12:11 AM
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Uh, well, my gf is not my gf anymore, but she's still lovely -w-
Maybe hope for the future, but then maybe not, who knows, but she's still a valued friend no matter how it goes.

About bisexuality...for some reason...I don't feel right if I say I'm bi o_o I feel like it doesn't explain enough or something, though I don't know what else I'd have to explain. Like it sounds too broad..? Or not broad enough? Actually, I have no idea, I just like people sometimes.
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  #4186    
Old September 25th, 2013, 08:53 AM
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Maybe you should just avoid labeling yourself. After all, there aren't enough labels out there to describe everyone and if you're not comfortable with the constraints of the label then you shouldn't force yourself into it. "I just like people sometimes" might be the most appropriate label for you.
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  #4187    
Old September 27th, 2013, 02:32 AM
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While I do see the need for labels, in this instance I'd have to agree with Scarfy. Sometimes it's better not to think too much, especially in situations that shouldn't necessarily be about thinking. Do what you want, be attracted to who you're attracted to and let that be that.

Or if you really feel the need to say something, then something I often find helpful is saying "I'm a boy who likes boys." That way I'm not saying I'm gay, but I'm describing my gender and my attraction. Then there's no need for a label or a pigeonhole, just a description of what's up.
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  #4188    
Old September 27th, 2013, 04:41 AM
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I'd have to agree with Scarfy too, Sometimes it's better not to think too much\\
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  #4189    
Old September 27th, 2013, 04:04 PM
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Oh, I don't think you can ever think too much. :D

But you don't need to dwell on certain things. Like, if you have a door to open and none of the keys you have work, it doesn't help to keep trying them, but you should think about how else you can open the door or whether opening the door is really what you should be doing.
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  #4190    
Old September 27th, 2013, 04:08 PM
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The solution to that problem is climbing on top of your roof and breaking into your own house through a window. Been there, done that. Tangent, I know. I guess the analogy would be - do something original!
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  #4191    
Old September 28th, 2013, 02:04 AM
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Ah, I was just adding my thoughts about bisexuality :3 I'm pretty comfortable with it myself, but I was just meaning it's difficult to explain exactly how it is if someone else asks or if it comes up in discussion somehow lol
Most of the time it's just with friends so I can tell them whatever I want, but it's still weird when someone's like, "Oh, so you're bi?" I just...no. I just don't like the word! Kinda like how I'll always say "I'm from the US" rather than "I'm American" because the word "American" reminds me of the taste of American cheese by itself.
:P
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  #4192    
Old September 29th, 2013, 08:34 AM
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Oh, goodness, I would never say to someone "Oh, so you're _____?" Really awkward. It's, like, what would you expect as a response? "Nope, not really. I just wanted to confuse you."
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  #4193    
Old October 1st, 2013, 11:45 AM
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I'd like to join please, what are the requirements?
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  #4194    
Old October 1st, 2013, 11:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiarra View Post
I'd like to join please, what are the requirements?
You've just met them by posting. Everyone who is amazing is welcome.

It's not all that rules-intensive. Just chime in to whatever discussion is going on or bring up whatever you feel like. Well, as long as it's not breaking the rules of course. You can tell us about yourself, ask questions - whatever. No pressure to talk about yourself though. Respectin' boundaries and all that.
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  #4195    
Old October 1st, 2013, 12:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
You've just met them by posting. Everyone who is amazing is welcome.

It's not all that rules-intensive. Just chime in to whatever discussion is going on or bring up whatever you feel like. Well, as long as it's not breaking the rules of course. You can tell us about yourself, ask questions - whatever. No pressure to talk about yourself though. Respectin' boundaries and all that.
Thank you for the explanation.
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  #4196    
Old October 1st, 2013, 06:31 PM
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I just moved to a city I've more or less never been to... don't know anyone at all. I've been trying to find get-togethers for games and stuff, but there's just... nothing. Are there LGBT clubs, or anything that aren't associated with a school? Haven't been able to find anything unfortunately, but I'm gonna go crazy just sitting alone at home. lol
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  #4197    
Old October 7th, 2013, 12:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
I just moved to a city I've more or less never been to... don't know anyone at all. I've been trying to find get-togethers for games and stuff, but there's just... nothing. Are there LGBT clubs, or anything that aren't associated with a school? Haven't been able to find anything unfortunately, but I'm gonna go crazy just sitting alone at home. lol
Well, depends on the city.

If you can't find a group, and surely there has to be one SOMEWHERE if you dig deep enough. If not, well, what's stopping you from creating one? Sometimes, if groups are hard to find, maybe it's because those that run them aren't advertising enough, or they need people who are willing to be out there and be active.


ANYWHO, guess who finally had a total sitdown with her family today? This person.

It was... Not bad. My mom cried a bit and my dad was quiet. My grandma, well I'm not sure, she's a really good actor... but they aren't mad, that's a plus.

I think I finally got through to them that it isn't a phase, or something I am going through. They agreed, saying, according to my mother that when I mentioned being bi (back in the day I labeled myself that because I was in that stage of discovering myself) they knew that there was a 95% chance of being totally lesbain. So my mom said she was only 5% shocked. I think that works. They said they love me because I am a good person, that I'm theirs, not because of who I love.

My mom was actually upset I didn't say anything sooner.

Anywho, I didn't go into big labeling, I just said that yep, I like woman. I've dated women.

It's a happy feeling. Like... it feels like it's my birthday. It's just that excitement you feel just under your skin and you just feel like nothing can go wrong. Like I have exciting news to tell everybody.

I think it's the best thing I've done in a long time.
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  #4198    
Old October 7th, 2013, 01:25 AM
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You know, it's funny. We humans are so fixated on fitting in that we often assign ourselves labels even when we don't intend to. And sometimes the things we label ourselves as can be quite humorous.

I don't so much label myself as I accept that who I am closely relates to a particular definition of a certain word. But even that similarity isn't 100% accurate. I am a man who is most definitely attracted to guys, and in fact am in love with one of the most amazing guys I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. But even so, I am quite capable of recognizing and even appreciating the attractiveness of someone of the opposite sex. I have no interest in sexual relationships with women, but I would be foolish to deny that I find someone, regardless of gender, to be attractive... or not.

I think there is a very small percentage of people who are exclusively attracted to someone of the opposite sex, and a very small percentage of people who are exclusively attracted to someone of the same sex. There is something called a Kinsey scale, which, through testing, measures a person's orientation. I think a lot of people would be surprised to discover that they're not a 0 or a 6 (0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual) on the scale. I, myself, am between 4 and 5 on the scale.

I find it also very fascinating that of all of us, females tend to exhibit the most varied range of sexuality. Theirs is more fluid where males are more rigid (no that is not a pun).

So, a label certainly helps us to fit in with a certain group, I think we should all be willing to accept that our labels are not absolutes. We have to accept that throughout our lives changes will occur that can and do make us question the labels we've assigned ourselves.
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  #4199    
Old October 7th, 2013, 02:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
I just moved to a city I've more or less never been to... don't know anyone at all. I've been trying to find get-togethers for games and stuff, but there's just... nothing. Are there LGBT clubs, or anything that aren't associated with a school? Haven't been able to find anything unfortunately, but I'm gonna go crazy just sitting alone at home. lol
I've told you before and I'll tell you again Q, Grindr. Yes, a lot of the people there are looking for sex and nothing more but now you've moved a little closer to civilisation I think you should give it another shot. I live in a coastal area where there isn't much of a gay community so Grindr and other similar phone apps are the only real way to meet other gay/bi people. And you get to talk to them online first so you get a general idea of what they're about before you go to the trouble of meeting them lol
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Old October 7th, 2013, 08:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
I've told you before and I'll tell you again Q, Grindr. Yes, a lot of the people there are looking for sex and nothing more but now you've moved a little closer to civilisation I think you should give it another shot. I live in a coastal area where there isn't much of a gay community so Grindr and other similar phone apps are the only real way to meet other gay/bi people. And you get to talk to them online first so you get a general idea of what they're about before you go to the trouble of meeting them lol
I have. There's no one I'd be even remotely interested in talking to around here. I'm going into town today actually... I guess I could pick some people out and talk to them later, but I'm not really sure how well that would work out, considering I live 30 minutes away.
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