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  #401    
Old August 2nd, 2011 (03:39 PM).
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I can't be with a man knowing that he was born a woman. He'll always be a woman to me.
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  #402    
Old August 2nd, 2011 (03:46 PM).
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Quote originally posted by FreakyLocz14:
I can't be with a man knowing that he was born a woman. He'll always be a woman to me.
~shivers~
Now that you think of it, I now feel the same way, except the other way around. It's creepy to know that your girlfriend was once a male. It's just unsettling.
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Old August 2nd, 2011 (03:46 PM).
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Quote originally posted by FreakyLocz14:
My goal is to find a potential husband rather than just a causual boyfriend, which would lead to children. I guess a transman could fit that job once technology develops more.
Quote originally posted by FreakyLocz14:
I can't be with a man knowing that he was born a woman. He'll always be a woman to me.
I am kinda confused. If you loved a guy, you were attracted to him, and he was able to have children with you (essentially become a potential husband) would it matter if he was born a woman?
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  #404    
Old August 2nd, 2011 (03:55 PM).
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Quote originally posted by -ty-:
I am kinda confused. If you loved a guy, you were attracted to him, and he was able to have children with you (essentially become a potential husband) would it matter if he was born a woman?
It's just the feeling itself. I personally would not feel good knowing that I'm dating someone that was once a man. And then "she" talks about having sexual intercourse. I just want to be sure what I'm gonna see in between that person's legs.
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  #405    
Old August 2nd, 2011 (03:58 PM).
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I understand where Freaky and Domo are coming from on this one. Psychologically, I do see how it could be unsettling or make people feel weird. That said, I don't think it would affect me all that much, as long as they were an attractive male now.
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  #406    
Old August 2nd, 2011 (04:17 PM).
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Quote originally posted by -ty-:
I am kinda confused. If you loved a guy, you were attracted to him, and he was able to have children with you (essentially become a potential husband) would it matter if he was born a woman?
SRS patients basically give up their ability to have children, unless they donate sperm or have their oocytes (immature egg cells for those who didn't pay much attention in school) stored.

So if you want to have children, yes, it would matter.
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  #407    
Old August 3rd, 2011 (08:45 AM).
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Hey, can I join? I may not be gay or bisexual but I fully believe in rights and equalities for such.

On the subject of being with transgender people, I could be with a woman who I loved dearly who was born a man. I currently do have a girlfriend (who was born a woman) who I can see myself marrying, but if I were to get to that situation, I could be with someone who is transgender as long as they are open and honest about it. Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. As long as that is provided, I don't care what they were born. As far as the issue of children, adoption is always an option.
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  #408    
Old August 3rd, 2011 (09:30 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Domo Genesis:
It's just the feeling itself. I personally would not feel good knowing that I'm dating someone that was once a man. And then "she" talks about having sexual intercourse. I just want to be sure what I'm gonna see in between that person's legs.
I feel it's a bit rude to say "she" with quotes around it like that.

A person shouldn't be defined by what's between their legs. I know that kind of thing can matter to someone regarding their own relationships and that's fine. I'm just a wee big sensitive about this so do forgive me.
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  #409    
Old August 3rd, 2011 (03:09 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
I feel it's a bit rude to say "she" with quotes around it like that.
Sorry. I didn't mean that in an offensive manner.
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  #410    
Old August 3rd, 2011 (03:22 PM).
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Id like to join :)

As for the current topic at hand...
Ive tought about it, and im still not sure how I would feel. I mean, if they were born a woman and are now a man, i could see myself being okay with that. However, vise-versa, I dont know, it just seems a bit weird. I mean, ive met a person who was born a man and became a woman, and she was so cool and so inspirational. If they were like her (maybe albiet a bit prettier), I wouldnt have a problem. Its one of those situations where you think one thing, but when it happens, something totally different occurs.
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  #411    
Old August 3rd, 2011 (11:02 PM). Edited August 3rd, 2011 by Alice.
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Would or could you be attracted to or date or consider dating someone who is transgendered?
Hmm... I wish I could say yes, but honestly, I think I would have a really hard time actually finding them attractive. I suppose if I did, then it wouldn't matter, but I doubt I could in the first place. I could handle it if a guy wanted to cross dress, and if they looked good enough in it, I wouldn't mind if they did it all the time, but not if they had a complete sex change.


Off Topic:
Telling people is hard...

I had the perfect opportunity today... my mom actually asked me if I thought women were sexy (It made sense in the context of that conversation. lol), and I couldn't say it. I wanted to, and actually like whispered the words, but I just couldn't make a sound. She just assumed I was too embarrassed to talk about it. =/

I suppose now just isn't the right time.


My mom has been talking about Gays way more than normal lately though... It's pretty annoying when your own mother says you're disgusting to your face, and you can't react. If it's out there, at the very least, I can argue with her instead of just smiling and pretending nothing's wrong.
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  #412    
Old August 3rd, 2011 (11:10 PM).
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I kind of refuse to tell my parents, for the fact being that they wouldn't be too happy. It annoys me too when my dad tells me to "go get that teenage girls number" immensely, it's like, "UH NO. I want that hot guys over there but you're too simply minded to accept that!"
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  #413    
Old August 4th, 2011 (12:38 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Jubilation:
I kind of refuse to tell my parents, for the fact being that they wouldn't be too happy. It annoys me too when my dad tells me to "go get that teenage girls number" immensely, it's like, "UH NO. I want that hot guys over there but you're too simply minded to accept that!"
I wouldn't judge you. It is probably best to wait until you are completely independent of your parents before being out, though. Unfortunately, some parents choose to disown their children over that.
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  #414    
Old August 4th, 2011 (02:44 AM).
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Welcome to Lady Gaga and deoxys121!

Quote originally posted by Jubilation:
I kind of refuse to tell my parents, for the fact being that they wouldn't be too happy. It annoys me too when my dad tells me to "go get that teenage girls number" immensely, it's like, "UH NO. I want that hot guys over there but you're too simply minded to accept that!"
Does your father seriously do that? He tells you to go get someone's number? That would be intensely awkward even if you were straight. Do parents really do that? Maybe my family is weird... we don't talk about this kind of thing at all
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  #415    
Old August 4th, 2011 (03:34 AM).
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My parents don't really bother urging their kids to get out and date, but my mother definitely makes fun out of when someone likes her kids. (Whenever she gets the chance, she'll rag on my little brother [14 and came out as gay, but Mom mostly ignores this considering the fact that he's 14 and likely hasn't done much research regarding sexual orientation] about an 11 or 12 year-old girl that claimed, "he's ho~t," in a lengthened, girly voice.)

But, as soon as they find out about a relationship, they'll "teasingly" push for information, which honestly gets more annoying than if they just flat-out asked.

That said...

Would you prefer to be asked clearly about your sexuality ("clear" as in they want to cut the crap and actually want to know), or have it brought up in a nonchalant manner (as in trying to beat around the bush like it doesn't matter)?

I would rather serious things in general be asked about seriously, even if it's offensive, as long as they're sincere about what they want to know. If they don't care, they shouldn't ask at all.
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  #416    
Old August 4th, 2011 (03:42 AM).
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Quote originally posted by TornZero:


Would you prefer to be asked clearly about your sexuality ("clear" as in they want to cut the crap and actually want to know), or have it brought up in a nonchalant manner (as in trying to beat around the bush like it doesn't matter)?
I totally agree. I'd rather people just ask me the question directly instead of fishing for clues. I don't see why it's awkward for people, I TOTALLY understand the curiosity. Asking someone if they're gay or whatever isn't at all a homophobic thing to do, nor is it a statement that sexuality matters more than it should. It's just human curiosity, I'd want to know myself.
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  #417    
Old August 4th, 2011 (04:54 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Jubilation:
I kind of refuse to tell my parents, for the fact being that they wouldn't be too happy. It annoys me too when my dad tells me to "go get that teenage girls number" immensely, it's like, "UH NO. I want that hot guys over there but you're too simply minded to accept that!"
seriously? wow, your dad's a nice guy.

But honestly, you should just sit down with your parents and talk to them about your current situation. The most important thing is for them to respect your sexuality and take it seriously, not as some kind of joke. But that's just my opinion, since I'm not gay.
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  #418    
Old August 4th, 2011 (05:10 AM).
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All I can say is that I thought my mother would be ambivalent about it. My father, whom is divorced from my mother, was another story. The majority of his "jokes" focus on racist and homophobic undertones. I just ignored him for about a half a year, but then I finally came out to him, and he didn't really care that much. The only dissent to it was, " Would I rather you be straight, yeah, but you're still my son." It kinda made me uneasy, but at least I wasn't disowned. I guess all I am saying is that sometimes you do know how your parents will react. With that being said, I have heard AWFUL coming-out scenarios. If your parents are very religious and conservative, like go to church every week or so, it might not be best to tell them quite yet. If they are not too conservative, and are not quite as fundamental and "traditional" in their religious views, then maybe you ought to come out. All-in-all, sometimes people are too ashamed to come out, like I was, even thought the reaction is not even close to as bad as first perceived.
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  #419    
Old August 4th, 2011 (05:44 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Jubilation:
I kind of refuse to tell my parents, for the fact being that they wouldn't be too happy. It annoys me too when my dad tells me to "go get that teenage girls number" immensely, it's like, "UH NO. I want that hot guys over there but you're too simply minded to accept that!"
I get something similar from my family too. It was hard to make friends of the opposite sex because at least one person in my family would automatically assume I had a crush on them.

Quote originally posted by TornZero:
Would you prefer to be asked clearly about your sexuality ("clear" as in they want to cut the crap and actually want to know), or have it brought up in a nonchalant manner (as in trying to beat around the bush like it doesn't matter)?
Like most people, I always prefer people ask me clearly about it. I'm really regretting lying about it whenever the question would come up now, I notice my friends will try and beat around the bush these days which just makes me end up overanalyzing things I say or do (I have noone to blame but myself for that though)
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  #420    
Old August 4th, 2011 (10:02 AM). Edited August 4th, 2011 by Alice.
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Yeah, my family does that... my grandma asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend yet yesterday.

And my mom always points out girls that walk by us when we're in the car and asks if I think they're good looking, and if she ever sees two guys/girls kiss on TV she'll pause it and say "isn't that disgusting?" and stuff like that. =/

I know for a fact she'd never kick me out, but she definitely won't like it.
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  #421    
Old August 4th, 2011 (11:53 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
I totally agree. I'd rather people just ask me the question directly instead of fishing for clues. I don't see why it's awkward for people, I TOTALLY understand the curiosity. Asking someone if they're gay or whatever isn't at all a homophobic thing to do, nor is it a statement that sexuality matters more than it should. It's just human curiosity, I'd want to know myself.
People fish for clues because they fear offending the person should their suspicions be false. To many, being suspected of homosexuality would lead to obsessive concern over what they did to raise those suspicions.
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  #422    
Old August 4th, 2011 (01:01 PM).
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I'm kinda surprised, but kinda not surprised that anyone's parents do these things to try to get their kids to date. My parents never would have.

Quote originally posted by QuilavaKing:
Yeah, my family does that... my grandma asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend yet yesterday.

And my mom always points out girls that walk by us when we're in the car and asks if I think they're good looking, and if she ever sees two guys/girls kiss on TV she'll pause it and say "isn't that disgusting?" and stuff like that. =/

I know for a fact she'd never kick me out, but she definitely won't like it.
I was thinking the same think Freaky was, that you mom was kind of trying to find out something without actually having to ask. Which I suppose is good. If she really hated gay people she probably wouldn't have any reservations about asking you directly. At least that's my outsider's subjective opinion.
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  #423    
Old August 4th, 2011 (04:37 PM).
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Quote originally posted by -ty-:
All I can say is that I thought my mother would be ambivalent about it. My father, whom is divorced from my mother, was another story. The majority of his "jokes" focus on racist and homophobic undertones. I just ignored him for about a half a year, but then I finally came out to him, and he didn't really care that much. The only dissent to it was, " Would I rather you be straight, yeah, but you're still my son." It kinda made me uneasy, but at least I wasn't disowned. I guess all I am saying is that sometimes you do know how your parents will react. With that being said, I have heard AWFUL coming-out scenarios. If your parents are very religious and conservative, like go to church every week or so, it might not be best to tell them quite yet. If they are not too conservative, and are not quite as fundamental and "traditional" in their religious views, then maybe you ought to come out. All-in-all, sometimes people are too ashamed to come out, like I was, even thought the reaction is not even close to as bad as first perceived.
It must be really hard for gays in the south to come out. That must be a nightmare.
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Old August 4th, 2011 (04:54 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Domo Genesis:
It must be really hard for gays in the south to come out. That must be a nightmare.
Yes it must be! I for one live in right next to the Canadian boarder, but people here have strong Judeo-Christian and Evangelical "moral values." Seriously, have you heard of the yoopers, they are all about hunting and church; it's awful! lmao.
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  #425    
Old August 4th, 2011 (05:13 PM).
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Quote originally posted by -ty-:
Yes it must be! I for one live in right next to the Canadian boarder, but people here have strong Judeo-Christian and Evangelical "moral values." Seriously, have you heard of the yoopers, they are all about hunting and church; it's awful! lmao.
Oh, god.

They're probably hunting for gays. I hate bible-bopping idiots like them.
I live in New York City. It actually has a large gay community there. In the downtown part, at least. And gay marriage was just legalized there.
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