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  #1251    
Old October 25th, 2011, 10:54 PM
Ineffable~'s Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reddit View Post
HEY GUYS, I'M POLITE_ALL_CAPS_GUY AND I'D LIKE TO JOIN, YO!

Anyways, I am a bit hyper right now. I am the Landorus AKA the jerk who disappeared and left the club un-updated. THANKS ANDREW FOR STEALING THE CLUB! seriously

So..hi! :3 I don't really have much to say about the current topic besides the guy saying it doesn't get better is..very pessimistic.
D: If you are the Landorus then why are you on a different account?

CONFUSED.
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  #1252    
Old October 25th, 2011, 11:02 PM
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I have another question:

Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?

I thought about this dude to what happened to a friend of mine. Her boyfriend cheated on her with guy. When confronted, he admitted that his desires for men are new and stem from dissatisfaction with the performance of women.
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  #1253    
Old October 25th, 2011, 11:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
I have another question:

Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
Well, I have definitely heard of people suddenly choosing to turn gay because of bad experiences with the other sex. I.E. a girl friend of mine wants to start dating girls because she's fed up with guys, but up until that point she'd been flawlessly straight. Though, I don't understand how someone can switch so suddenly later on in their life.. xD; seems like they maybe had to be bisexual the entire time, but might've not realized.
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  #1254    
Old October 25th, 2011, 11:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ineffable~ View Post

D: If you are the Landorus then why are you on a different account?

CONFUSED.
Because I hated that name. ^-^; I changed the signature on that account to say the name of this account.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew View Post


Well, I have definitely heard of people suddenly choosing to turn gay because of bad experiences with the other sex. I.E. a girl friend of mine wants to start dating girls because she's fed up with guys, but up until that point she'd been flawlessly straight. Though, I don't understand how someone can switch so suddenly later on in their life.. xD; seems like they maybe had to be bisexual the entire time, but might've not realized.
I agree with the bisexual statement.

SO TODAY THIS GUY AT WORK MADE ME VERY ANGRY.

This guy - first of all he thinks I am gay but isn't sure - anyways, he was ranting about how the gay community at my college is too big and that it's nasty, then he was saying how it was "sick" that they repealed DADT

I was thinking.."ARE YOU TRYING TO INSULT ME? DO YOU WANT TO GET FIRED YOU BIGOTED JERK-OFF?" But I just smiled and walked away because I am being considered for a management job.
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  #1255    
Old October 25th, 2011, 11:36 PM
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Drew, you said she was "Flawlessly Straight", are you sure that's what you mean? It's perfectly possible she was either hiding her other impulses or were as you mentioned, unaware of them.

Yeah...Usually you don't just flip. Generally I do happen to believe as Drew said, you might have been bi or gay in the first place but never accepted or realized that usually. Secondly, So what if you do choose it? It's not wrong. It kind of upsets me to see that LGBTs who don't like who they are take out their anger on those who happen to be flexible enough to change, assuming the person who does change is actually in the middle of the Kinsey scale and not on one extreme end or the other.

Bisexuals are surprisingly more common than you think, but it's true that some lean one way or another more heavily than others do. Not to mention that Bisexuals do tend to be able to "Blend in" better than some others do...and it is quite possible to be Bisexual and not know it, because it's so easy to fall in the mindset of "Oh, I'm just curious or over-imaginative, not actually craving the same sex." So yeah, if someone is bi then it's possible to place the "straw that broke the camel's back" and cause them to lean and/or trend the other direction. It kind of disappoints me to see that some people call themselves bi or just straight and then change their orientation based on whatever gender their mate happens to be because they want to seem less "promiscuous" when that's not the case at all.

But I do believe that your place on the Kinsey scale is NOT fixed at birth. Your place on the Kinsey scale is not set in stone, it's likely to slide around up to 2 points in either direction as you learn, mature and grow...based upon how you experience life. If you grow up in a homo-unfriendly environment you might shy away from increasing your score and if you grew up in a homo-friendly environment, you might not care at all and let your score increase. So naturally I dislike it when ANYONE, LGBT or not says that it is set in stone at birth. What we become as we grow into adults is just as much influenced by our upbringing, and surroundings as it is by our genetics, family history and much more.

Given a few years, anyone can change who they are as a person pretty well if that is what they choose to do. So I don't disbelieve that someone younger can do so faster than that, nor do I believe sexual orientation is the exception to the rule.
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  #1256    
Old October 26th, 2011, 01:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
Hello.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
I thought about this dude to what happened to a friend of mine. Her boyfriend cheated on her with guy. When confronted, he admitted that his desires for men are new and stem from dissatisfaction with the performance of women.
I've never had a relationship with anyone, and wasn't attracted to guys in the slightest until a year ago or so.

There's really no reason, I just changed.
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  #1257    
Old October 26th, 2011, 01:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
I have to disagree with this a little. The guy is really cynical and that kind of attitude isn't helpful if you are a potentially suicidal teen watching the video, but he's saying things that need to be said and addressed, even if it's just him saying something so that everyone else can disagree with it or prove him wrong. If you get past his attitude he's for making things better for queer people and his overall message is just "Are we really going about things the right way?"

I really should try watching some of the related videos to see how they approach the idea, but I don't want to get all cynical, too. D;
I think the cynicism really overrode anything he was trying to say. There were things said that need to be addressed, particularly regarding the in-fighting within the LGBT community itself, however the message I took from the video was not "Are we really going about things the right way?" it was "It doesn't get better" which is simply not true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?
I haven't run into much trouble with that yet. My mother desperately wants grandchildren someday though, because... well, I don't really know. I guess that's just what mothers want. I don't think it's really about the name as such, though, she just wants grandchildren. Unfortunately, since I'm gay and my sister hates children nearly as much as I do, she won't be getting any lol. I think that will cause some problems down the line.

As far as the "family name" issue is concerned, I honestly don't understand why this is an issue for anybody. Why does it matter? It's just a name. It means nothing. In 100 years time, if there's a descendant of yours running around with your last name, it won't change the fact that you're dead and that nobody remembers who you are. It's more prudent to make an impact on people while you're alive than hoping that your name flowing down a line of descendants will be enough to carry your memory.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?

I thought about this dude to what happened to a friend of mine. Her boyfriend cheated on her with guy. When confronted, he admitted that his desires for men are new and stem from dissatisfaction with the performance of women.
No, I don't think thing people "become LGBT" later in life. There's any number of explanations for this situation, but the most likely is that your friend's boyfriend was lying to cover the fact that he's always been gay. It's kind of genius really, it's along the lines of saying "I'm not gay, I'm just experimenting".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reddit View Post
HEY GUYS, I'M POLITE_ALL_CAPS_GUY AND I'D LIKE TO JOIN, YO!

Anyways, I am a bit hyper right now. I am the Landorus AKA the jerk who disappeared and left the club un-updated. THANKS ANDREW FOR STEALING THE CLUB! seriously
Haha welcome back, Landorus! You're quite welcome, but MINE NAO. ALL MINE. MUAHAHAHA
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  #1258    
Old October 26th, 2011, 02:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
No, I don't think thing people "become LGBT" later in life.
Again, I have to say, Hello.
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  #1259    
Old October 26th, 2011, 06:23 AM
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So, a question I have relates somewhat to the question brought up earlier regarding having children via your love's siblings. What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?
Gah, there is a lot to respond to. 0_o I think I'll just answer this though, lol.

For me, there kida is some pressure to carry on the name. :\ My mom, who otherwise is super supporting of my sexuality, says the ONE reason she wishes I wasn't gay was because she wants me to have biological children so that she can have, in her words, "Little Jareds". >__> And while I appreciate the sentiment, it just makes me feel bad, because while I do want children, I would rather adopt than go with in vitro or something. :\
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  #1260    
Old October 26th, 2011, 06:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
No. This is something I stay quite adamant about. I believe people can realize or come to terms with being LGBT, but I can not possibly believe that someone can "become" or "turn" LGBT later in life.
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  #1261    
Old October 26th, 2011, 09:56 AM
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No, people don't "turn" gay later in life. If they suddenly, later in life, just say "OMG, I'm gay," then that means they've been gay all their life; it's just taken up until that point for them to realize it or come to terms with it. For people who have relationships with the opposite sex, sometimes even get married and have kids (i.e. my aunt), before coming out, it's because they were in denial or too scared to come out, so they forced themselves to conform to the norm. Now, my aunt has been with her girlfriend for 2 years.
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  #1262    
Old October 26th, 2011, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
Again, I have to say, Hello.
To be fair, you were probably what you are now your entire life and you just didn't realize it or admit it to yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
Haha welcome back, Landorus! You're quite welcome, but MINE NAO. ALL MINE. MUAHAHAHA
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  #1263    
Old October 26th, 2011, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
I have another question:

Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
Honestly, I don't believe people turn gay later in life. But that's just my opinion.
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  #1264    
Old October 26th, 2011, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Reddit View Post
To be fair, you were probably what you are now your entire life and you just didn't realize it or admit it to yourself.
But I was actually quite homophobic, and just the thought of doing anything with a guy was extremely disgusting. I was 100% straight until I was exposed to Gays for a long period of time, (which I wasn't for the first time until a couple years ago) as well as the Japanese media's portrayal of Gays. They often make homosexual relationships out to be perfect, pure, gentle things, while they make heterosexual relationships out to be all about sex.

I think after a couple years of that, especially because that sort of relationship appeals to me a lot more, it started to influence me, essentially changing my sexuality.
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  #1265    
Old October 26th, 2011, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew View Post
Well, I have definitely heard of people suddenly choosing to turn gay because of bad experiences with the other sex. I.E. a girl friend of mine wants to start dating girls because she's fed up with guys, but up until that point she'd been flawlessly straight. Though, I don't understand how someone can switch so suddenly later on in their life.. xD; seems like they maybe had to be bisexual the entire time, but might've not realized.
Your "flawlessly straight" caught my attention. Kinda awesome description.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pachy View Post
So what if you do choose it?
Seconded. But I feel I know why some wouldn't want to believe this.

If you were "born this way" that's your own experience and it would be kind of natural to assume that others have gone through a similar experience, especially since most people you talk to, regardless of their sexuality, will tell you that they have always been how they are.

More than that though, I think it's seen as a dangerous idea by many a queer person because it's seen to give fuel to the anti-gay crowd. They (the anti-gay groups) will say that if it's a choice then people should not choose it and that choosing it makes you a pervert or whatever else they would call you.

There's an underlying assumption to the "it's not a choice" stance which, sort of, kind of, plays into the anti-gay crowd's views. When you say "I didn't have a choice!" you sound defensive, like what you are is something bad, which is unfortunate, but nothing you should be punished for.

If more people took a "So what if I did choose?" approach - regardless of whether they did or not - then that would send a stronger message. It would say: "What this is isn't something bad so it doesn't matter how someone got to be how they are." It would be more inclusive, too, because it would make it easier for someone who was curious or unsure of their sexuality to accept themselves and have others accept them if it turned out they were only just curious. And for the trans or genderqueer or just different people it would make it easier for us, too, since there are things some of us do have to make choices about regarding our identity. To be perfectly honest, the whole "it's not a choice" thing seems very homosexual-specific and maybe not the best line for other people who are queer, but not gay.

Of course this is ~just my opinion~ so feel free to argue with me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reddit View Post
SO TODAY THIS GUY AT WORK MADE ME VERY ANGRY.

This guy - first of all he thinks I am gay but isn't sure - anyways, he was ranting about how the gay community at my college is too big and that it's nasty, then he was saying how it was "sick" that they repealed DADT

I was thinking.."ARE YOU TRYING TO INSULT ME? DO YOU WANT TO GET FIRED YOU BIGOTED JERK-OFF?" But I just smiled and walked away because I am being considered for a management job.
You did the right thing, probably. Of course if he does it again you ought to say something reasonable and level-headed to show him what a jerk he is without having to do anything jerk-y yourself.
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  #1266    
Old October 26th, 2011, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Scarf View Post

Seconded. But I feel I know why some wouldn't want to believe this.

If you were "born this way" that's your own experience and it would be kind of natural to assume that others have gone through a similar experience, especially since most people you talk to, regardless of their sexuality, will tell you that they have always been how they are.

More than that though, I think it's seen as a dangerous idea by many a queer person because it's seen to give fuel to the anti-gay crowd. They (the anti-gay groups) will say that if it's a choice then people should not choose it and that choosing it makes you a pervert or whatever else they would call you.

There's an underlying assumption to the "it's not a choice" stance which, sort of, kind of, plays into the anti-gay crowd's views. When you say "I didn't have a choice!" you sound defensive, like what you are is something bad, which is unfortunate, but nothing you should be punished for.

If more people took a "So what if I did choose?" approach - regardless of whether they did or not - then that would send a stronger message. It would say: "What this is isn't something bad so it doesn't matter how someone got to be how they are." It would be more inclusive, too, because it would make it easier for someone who was curious or unsure of their sexuality to accept themselves and have others accept them if it turned out they were only just curious. And for the trans or genderqueer or just different people it would make it easier for us, too, since there are things some of us do have to make choices about regarding our identity. To be perfectly honest, the whole "it's not a choice" thing seems very homosexual-specific and maybe not the best line for other people who are queer, but not gay.

Of course this is ~just my opinion~ so feel free to argue with me.
I like what you are saying, but I don't feel it applies to me, lol. For some of us, like you said, being gay, or bisexual, or anything, truly is something that has been a part of us our whole life, or at least ever since we were aware of sex. So you're line about "What if it is a choice" feels weird to me.

BUT

You are right in that there are people who choose to be who they are, and the whole attitude of "It isn't our choice!" could alienate some people who might just be looking for acceptance. So a change in attitude could probably do a world of good, do you think?
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  #1267    
Old October 26th, 2011, 01:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikapal642 View Post


I like what you are saying, but I don't feel it applies to me, lol. For some of us, like you said, being gay, or bisexual, or anything, truly is something that has been a part of us our whole life, or at least ever since we were aware of sex. So you're line about "What if it is a choice" feels weird to me.

BUT

You are right in that there are people who choose to be who they are, and the whole attitude of "It isn't our choice!" could alienate some people who might just be looking for acceptance. So a change in attitude could probably do a world of good, do you think?
Personally, I think it would be a little more accepting. Like it would make it easier to accept people who like to cross-dress some of the time, people who might otherwise feel alienated from the heterosexual crowd and not exactly a part of the queer crowd.

And the "What if I did choose?" line is more of something I would use with someone if I really wanted to make a point. I wouldn't expect everyone to use it. It's really no different than saying "There's nothing wrong with being gay" or whatever is more comfortable for you.
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  #1268    
Old October 26th, 2011, 02:06 PM
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I don't know if I can answer this.. personally I think it's a bit of both.. like.. you're both born with it and you also develop a liking to a certain type of sex or type of person as you grow. I guess it's the nature vs. nurture thing.. but instead of it being vs.. I think it's nature AND nurture.
Like I know sometimes you can't help who you love, and sometimes for others it's the fact that they've learned that they can look past physical features and grow more attached to the emotional aspect of people and that sort of pansexual nature has more of an influence than mere penis and vagina.

.. Uh.. am I making sense?
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  #1269    
Old October 26th, 2011, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilavaKing View Post
But I was actually quite homophobic, and just the thought of doing anything with a guy was extremely disgusting. I was 100% straight until I was exposed to Gays for a long period of time, (which I wasn't for the first time until a couple years ago) as well as the Japanese media's portrayal of Gays. They often make homosexual relationships out to be perfect, pure, gentle things, while they make heterosexual relationships out to be all about sex.

I think after a couple years of that, especially because that sort of relationship appeals to me a lot more, it started to influence me, essentially changing my sexuality.
That's a textbook case of being in denial of your sexuality, it makes no sense - and there is a strong credible argument that it's against the very nature of humans - for someone who is homophobic and believes they are straight to go "JK I LIKE MEN".

Although, due to the lack of knowledge around the cause of sexuality, it's possible that it could have been anything such as a sudden hormonal switch. Or there could be an even deeper psychological cause for the realization/switch. WHO KNOWS
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  #1270    
Old October 26th, 2011, 03:08 PM
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To be honest I don't think I'll ever be convinced that you can become gay. I had a similar experience to QuilavaKing in that I grew up in a homophobic household. It wasn't seriously homophobic in the "gay people are abominations and must die" sense, but it was just vaguely homophobic in the "ew they have buttsex" sense and of course, when you're a kid you just take on the opinions of your parents. It was watching Will & Grace that made me realise that there was nothing wrong with being gay and really normalised the idea.

So when I was 12 and discovered I was gay, it really wasn't all that big of a deal to me. But that doesn't mean I credit Will & Grace for influencing my sexuality. Now, everybody's experience is different so I will try to keep an open mind, but there are any number of explanations for those people who realise they are gay later than most, and I'm more inclined to believe any of those than their sexuality 'changing'.

I do agree that the idea that we could 'choose' to be gay is harmful to the community in all the ways Scarf said - though the two issues are not the same thing, so I don't think that the arguments as to why we wouldn't want to believe that people can choose to be gay really apply all that well to whether we believe people can become LGBT later.
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  #1271    
Old October 26th, 2011, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
And for the trans or genderqueer or just different people it would make it easier for us, too, since there are things some of us do have to make choices about regarding our identity.
This I think is a very important thing to regard, since technically, yes, transition is a choice (I have known a handful of people to choose not to transition--it is right for some people, not right for most, but there are still people who don't transition and are okay with it). Which is why I agree that we should regard it as "I don't care if it's a choice." I mean, I don't at all believe I ever chose to be trans or to be attracted to other women, but I don't hate myself and I don't hate my gender expression or my sexuality, so I wouldn't "opt out of" these things even if I could.

Besides, it may not be a choice to be attracted to someone of the same sex, but you do still have free will to choose whether or not you actually sleep with someone of the same sex, so it benefits everyone to stop caring whether or not it's a choice.
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3'03" ~ 66.1lbs ~ 50/50

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Abilities: Run Away or Flash Fire or Flame Body
Moves: Growl, Flame Wheel, Stomp, Agility
Locations: Pokémon Mansion

Cry

Other names:

jp: ポニータ (Ponyta)
de: Ponita
fr: Ponyta
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  #1272    
Old October 26th, 2011, 09:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
So, a question I have relates somewhat to the question brought up earlier regarding having children via your love's siblings. What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?
I'm very fortunate that my parents openly embrace me being childfree. They've known for years (even before I did) that I would never have children. Now that I've admitted it to them, they're quite happy about it. My mother's one of those who considers my pets her "grandchildren" and my father doesn't care.

My grandmother, on the other hand, is still expecting me to get married and have children. But my grandmother is very narrow-minded in her views on people.

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Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
I think that they just don't realize it or aren't willing to accept it.

I do like what Scarf said. And since my command of English isn't the best, I'll leave it at that for now.
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Old October 26th, 2011, 10:20 PM
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Your "flawlessly straight" caught my attention. Kinda awesome description.



Seconded. But I feel I know why some wouldn't want to believe this.

If you were "born this way" that's your own experience and it would be kind of natural to assume that others have gone through a similar experience, especially since most people you talk to, regardless of their sexuality, will tell you that they have always been how they are.

More than that though, I think it's seen as a dangerous idea by many a queer person because it's seen to give fuel to the anti-gay crowd. They (the anti-gay groups) will say that if it's a choice then people should not choose it and that choosing it makes you a pervert or whatever else they would call you.

There's an underlying assumption to the "it's not a choice" stance which, sort of, kind of, plays into the anti-gay crowd's views. When you say "I didn't have a choice!" you sound defensive, like what you are is something bad, which is unfortunate, but nothing you should be punished for.

If more people took a "So what if I did choose?" approach - regardless of whether they did or not - then that would send a stronger message. It would say: "What this is isn't something bad so it doesn't matter how someone got to be how they are." It would be more inclusive, too, because it would make it easier for someone who was curious or unsure of their sexuality to accept themselves and have others accept them if it turned out they were only just curious. And for the trans or genderqueer or just different people it would make it easier for us, too, since there are things some of us do have to make choices about regarding our identity. To be perfectly honest, the whole "it's not a choice" thing seems very homosexual-specific and maybe not the best line for other people who are queer, but not gay.

Of course this is ~just my opinion~ so feel free to argue with me.
Therein lies the problem. People are afraid of giving the phobic ones any fuel. I for one think that it's wrong to do that, we should be educating the ignorant ones, not sugarcoating things. However it is very true that someone "Choosing" to be gay is exceedingly rare. Mostly because 9/10 times it requires you to be that way anyway and have the instinct of wanting the same gender to make one realize they're "Not straight". You have to be exceedingly open minded to achieve it, and most people are NOT that way, as evidenced in this thread. I do believe QuilavaKing became that way, and it's true he may THINK he just choose it but there might have been a predisposition there anyway which was simply denied and supressed when he was around the homophobes. People can do very amazing things when it comes to love, and this also affects love for family. He might have just never thought about being gay because his family would have had trouble accepting it. But it's still equally possible, but probably improbable, that he did choose it. And I say again, So What if he did?

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Personally, I think it would be a little more accepting. Like it would make it easier to accept people who like to cross-dress some of the time, people who might otherwise feel alienated from the heterosexual crowd and not exactly a part of the queer crowd.

And the "What if I did choose?" line is more of something I would use with someone if I really wanted to make a point. I wouldn't expect everyone to use it. It's really no different than saying "There's nothing wrong with being gay" or whatever is more comfortable for you.
It's true. I say that to make a point. My point being that we shouldn't let the homophobic people dominate things at any turn. We shouldn't give them any indication that their rude behavior affects us. It's like dealing with a bully or troll, ignore them and they eventually lay off.

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Originally Posted by Shining Raichu View Post
To be honest I don't think I'll ever be convinced that you can become gay. I had a similar experience to QuilavaKing in that I grew up in a homophobic household. It wasn't seriously homophobic in the "gay people are abominations and must die" sense, but it was just vaguely homophobic in the "ew they have buttsex" sense and of course, when you're a kid you just take on the opinions of your parents. It was watching Will & Grace that made me realise that there was nothing wrong with being gay and really normalised the idea.

So when I was 12 and discovered I was gay, it really wasn't all that big of a deal to me. But that doesn't mean I credit Will & Grace for influencing my sexuality. Now, everybody's experience is different so I will try to keep an open mind, but there are any number of explanations for those people who realise they are gay later than most, and I'm more inclined to believe any of those than their sexuality 'changing'.

I do agree that the idea that we could 'choose' to be gay is harmful to the community in all the ways Scarf said - though the two issues are not the same thing, so I don't think that the arguments as to why we wouldn't want to believe that people can choose to be gay really apply all that well to whether we believe people can become LGBT later.
Actually they're related in one small way. My point in this is that because of the "apparent harm" that the ideal of "choosing to be" gay could have, people who actually claim to have or believe they have chosen it are treated with less acceptance. My evidence in point, being how you reacted to QuilavaKing when he said he 'Chose' it. I for one believe that even if he DIDN'T choose it and doesn't realize it yet, that it's somewhat a good sign to see from someone who is emerging as LGBT, because it signals their acceptance. I'm kind of disappointed to see that you seem so doubtful about people actually being happy about 'choosing' it, or coming to the realization that they are this way if that's indeed the case as it normally is.
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Old October 27th, 2011, 01:27 AM
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QuilavaKing when he said he 'Chose' it.
I didn't actually say that I chose it. I don't think very many people genuinely choose their sexuality.

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Originally Posted by Reddit View Post
That's a textbook case of being in denial of your sexuality, it makes no sense - and there is a strong credible argument that it's against the very nature of humans - for someone who is homophobic and believes they are straight to go "JK I LIKE MEN".
It wasn't a sudden change at all... in fact, I think I can explain exactly how it happened.

Up until I joined PC, I literally had zero contact with any LGBT people. I was raised in a Christian home, and genuinely believed that Gays were evil.

Once I was exposed to them for the first time, I realized... hey they're normal people just like me... but I was still fairly homophobic.

After awhile I started to think, why is it so wrong? They're just normal people, and as far as I can tell what they're doing isn't really any different. But I'm still a Christian so I can't support their lifestyle. (I remember thinking this exactly, when people were talking about joining the GSA at school.)

After graduating from high school at some point, while talking to my mom about it (she talked to me about religion all the time, to make sure I would stay Christian I guess) I decided that there was nothing wrong with it, and that we're wrong to hate gays. Whether they go to hell or not, we don't have the right to treat them badly.

Now, throughout all of this, I'm still 100% straight, and had never once thought about being gay or bi myself.

This progression just continued until I eventually found myself noticing guys here and there. And it wasn't until I met a friend online, when I was planning to go to anime expo last summer, that I truly felt something for a guy. I found myself wishing I could ask him out, but I was still straight in my mind. A couple months and a lot of confusion later, I started posting in this thread, and here I am now.


I know this was kind of long and pointless, but since no one seems to believe me, I want to explain as well as possible. Plus, I kind of feel like some of you don’t want to accept that others did choose/change because it undermines your own belief of what a sexuality is… and this may sound really weird to you, but I don't even really think there is such thing as a sexuality. It's just a label we made up to understand it better. Your sexuality is really more of a wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy ball of... stuff, that is never set in stone, until you set it there yourself. Which is why I think all three ways of 'obtaining'(couldn't think of a better word lol) your sexuality are possibilities.


(This seriously took me like 2 hours to type by the way... and I kind of want to take out that last bit... but I can't bring myself to delete the Doctor Who reference. lol)
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Old October 27th, 2011, 01:50 AM
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Hey Quilava.. I'm curious. During your straight period, as you so put it.. did you actually like girls? Or were you like a "meh" towards them? ._.
Just wondering .O.;; [/randomquestion]
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