The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club]

[QuilavaKing]

Originally Posted by deoxys121

OK, guys, I think this is the best place to post this: Based on a dream I had the other night, and thoughts and feelings I've had since having that dream, I think I'm bi. The dream involved sexual relations with a man, and with my current girlfriend in the same dream. I still have all the feelings for my girlfriend, so that's why I think "bi" would be the best term, not gay. Despite the fact that I know my family would accept me, and I know my girlfriend would stay with me, I'm kind of scared about coming out. Any advice?

Well, first of all I would say don't base it on just one dream. Give yourself time to figure things out, and be completely sure before you start telling people. It won't be fun trying to explain things to people if you decide you really are straight later on.

And as Charlie Kelly said, you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. Only do it if you're comfortable with other people knowing, and think it may make you feel better about it. There's no need to rush into it.

That said, I haven't been dealing with it all that long myself. That's just based on my experience.

[Ineffable~]

Originally Posted by deoxys121

OK, guys, I think this is the best place to post this: Based on a dream I had the other night, and thoughts and feelings I've had since having that dream, I think I'm bi. The dream involved sexual relations with a man, and with my current girlfriend in the same dream. I still have all the feelings for my girlfriend, so that's why I think "bi" would be the best term, not gay. Despite the fact that I know my family would accept me, and I know my girlfriend would stay with me, I'm kind of scared about coming out. Any advice?

I agree with Quilavaking on this. I think you have to learn a bit more before you can really quite say you're bi.
Also even if you did know completely, it is irrelevant being that you're with a woman at the moment, I mean unless you want to tell her but I would be careful with that, if only to avoid awkwardness or weird "are you breaking up with me?" moments haha.


Anyway congratulations on finding something new about yourself! :)
I don't know if it's weird to congratulate someone for that but I always do it sooooo . . .

[Shining Raichu]

@ Cat Dog: Of course it's OK to post here even if you don't join and thanks for that, it looks amazing! My sucky downloading abilities will probably result in me waiting for the DVD though... /curses Australia.

Originally Posted by deoxys121

OK, guys, I think this is the best place to post this: Based on a dream I had the other night, and thoughts and feelings I've had since having that dream, I think I'm bi. The dream involved sexual relations with a man, and with my current girlfriend in the same dream. I still have all the feelings for my girlfriend, so that's why I think "bi" would be the best term, not gay. Despite the fact that I know my family would accept me, and I know my girlfriend would stay with me, I'm kind of scared about coming out. Any advice?

If you have a girlfriend to whom you are attracted and you're happy in your heterosexual relationship, I don't really see much point in coming out at this stage. To my mind, the point of coming out is because you are unhappy in your life and you need to be honest with people so that you can live more openly and freely. So coming out as bi when you have a girlfriend that you're happy with just seems like stirring the pot unnecessarily.

I'd say wait until it actually starts affecting your happiness, because your happiness is what counts. Honesty for the sake of honesty can be gratuitous sometimes.

EDIT: What I said could be seen as "we should hide in the closet until we really can't stand it anymore" but that's not what I meant. I just think that if you do it, it should be for the right reasons.

[deoxys121]

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu

If you have a girlfriend to whom you are attracted and you're happy in your heterosexual relationship, I don't really see much point in coming out at this stage. To my mind, the point of coming out is because you are unhappy in your life and you need to be honest with people so that you can live more openly and freely. So coming out as bi when you have a girlfriend that you're happy with just seems like stirring the pot unnecessarily.

I'd say wait until it actually starts affecting your happiness, because your happiness is what counts. Honesty for the sake of honesty can be gratuitous sometimes.

EDIT: What I said could be seen as "we should hide in the closet until we really can't stand it anymore" but that's not what I meant. I just think that if you do it, it should be for the right reasons.

Well, I'm not 100% sure of this yet. I think the reason I'd want to tell her if I got to the point where I was 100% sure of it is because she and I have vowed to never keep secrets from each other. When you say I should do so for the right reasons, I think keeping that promise to her is reason enough. I know for a fact that if I was, she would accept me. We've been together for almost 9 months. Also, I know for a fact she is already accepting of LGBT people. I'll wait and see if anything else convincing happens. Until then, I'll remain how I am.

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by deoxys121

Well, I'm not 100% sure of this yet. I think the reason I'd want to tell her if I got to the point where I was 100% sure of it is because she and I have vowed to never keep secrets from each other. When you say I should do so for the right reasons, I think keeping that promise to her is reason enough. I know for a fact that if I was, she would accept me. We've been together for almost 9 months. Also, I know for a fact she is already accepting of LGBT people. I'll wait and see if anything else convincing happens. Until then, I'll remain how I am.

If you do decide to tell her you wouldn't have to say "I think I'm bi." It would probably be best to tell her simply that you had a dream and it's been on your mind.

Like everyone else I'd say you might want to wait at least a little bit. I don't know how long ago you had this dream, but if it was just the other day you might not want to jump the gun and cause her any worry. As much as you are in a committed relationship and she's fine with LGBT people there's always the potential to stir things up with a revelation like this.

[-ty-]

It's hard for me to say exactly what you should do. From my own experience, my sexuality was clear, although it was hard coming to terms with it, I knew for sure I was 100% gay.

Are you sexually/physically attracted to your girlfriend?
Have you had "homoerotic" thoughts before?
Also, bisexual individuals often time are more attracted to one sex over the other, though not always; do you have a preference?

Assuming that your are either equally attracted to both or a bit more attracted to woman, I would have to say that when you are in a committed relationship, as long as you are attracted to your gf/bf physically/sexually, then there should not be a need to talk about your sexuality. I know that even gay men feel insecure when they discover or know that there boyfriend/partner/husband is bisexual. It makes a person feel like you may not be sexually attracted to them. In addition, although your girlfriend may be very supportive of the LGBT community, it may not translate to a relationship. For example, many people who are supportive of LGBT individuals may not feel comfortable dating a transgender person. Although they are advocates of transgender people's rights, they may not be attracted to the idea of dating them.

I am sorry this is so long, and a bit all-over-the-place, but these were the initial thoughts that came up in my head.

[deoxys121]

Originally Posted by -ty-

It's hard for me to say exactly what you should do. From my own experience, my sexuality was clear, although it was hard coming to terms with it, I knew for sure I was 100% gay.

Are you sexually/physically attracted to your girlfriend?
Have you had "homoerotic" thoughts before?
Also, bisexual individuals often time are more attracted to one sex over the other, though not always; do you have a preference?

Assuming that your are either equally attracted to both or a bit more attracted to woman, I would have to say that when you are in a committed relationship, as long as you are attracted to your gf/bf physically/sexually, then there should not be a need to talk about your sexuality. I know that even gay men feel insecure when they discover or know that there boyfriend/partner/husband is bisexual. It makes a person feel like you may not be sexually attracted to them. In addition, although your girlfriend may be very supportive of the LGBT community, it may not translate to a relationship. For example, many people who are supportive of LGBT individuals may not feel comfortable dating a transgender person. Although they are advocates of transgender people's rights, they may not be attracted to the idea of dating them.

I am sorry this is so long, and a bit all-over-the-place, but these were the initial thoughts that came up in my head.

Well, I'm definitely still attracted to my girlfriend on all levels, physically, sexually, and emotionally. As far as "homoerotic" thoughts... well, I won't go into graphic detail, but yes. Since I had that dream (about a week ago), I have had thoughts of that nature come into my head, and when it comes to the level of arousal yielded by such thoughts, it's similar to the sexual thoughts about my girlfriend, and women in general. Since I'm so emotionally attached to my girlfriend, that emotional attachment makes the thoughts about her seem more pleasing, though. And as far as not talking about it, as I said before, we have promised to never keep any sort of secrets.

[U_Flame]

I love it when games make gay references. I was playing Tales of the Abyss and in Baticul Port, a woman is always talking about General Celceil's beauty and obsesses about t her safety. This woman also wants to "Be born as a man." Also many other hints of attraction. I wonder if they ever get together?

[Shining Raichu]

It seems to be a theme in a lot of new video games lately that there is a gay storyline - or at least an option for one. I am not a huge gamer myself, but my best friend is. She often tells me about her gay relationships in Dragon Age and an assortment of other games, as well as her plans to pursue a gay relationship in the new game Skyrim which comes out next week lol

[Sap Sipper]

I guess I could join? I fall into the bisexual/gay category (I don't even know - that's kinda strange).

And I have nothing to say that would make this post seem less bland.

[Shining Raichu]

That's okay, if you're ever at a loss for something to say you can always just join in whatever we're talking about or go back and answer some of the million questions we've asked throughout the pages (they're almost always written in bold XD)

But either way, welcome to the club! I'll add your name to the member list now

[-ty-]

Originally Posted by deoxys121

Well, I'm definitely still attracted to my girlfriend on all levels, physically, sexually, and emotionally. As far as "homoerotic" thoughts... well, I won't go into graphic detail, but yes. Since I had that dream (about a week ago), I have had thoughts of that nature come into my head, and when it comes to the level of arousal yielded by such thoughts, it's similar to the sexual thoughts about my girlfriend, and women in general. Since I'm so emotionally attached to my girlfriend, that emotional attachment makes the thoughts about her seem more pleasing, though. And as far as not talking about it, as I said before, we have promised to never keep any sort of secrets.

Sorry if it sounded like you have no choice but to hide information about your sexuality from your girlfriend. I think that when you tell her some of your feeling about it you should really reaffirm her about not only your emotional/romantic feeling for her, but your sexual/physical attraction toward her. Since she seems really nice and excepting she may not let you know if it makes her feel insecure or the extent to which it may make her feel insecure, so I think it's best if you really emphasize that attraction that you have for her still, and that she is the only one that you want to be with. I hope it goes well!


Although this is not a LGBT-exclusive question, I thought it would be interesting, and Freaky+other heterosexual individuals can have an opportunity to answer.
What is you age? What is your age-range for dating (minimum/maximum)?


I am 19. And I would say that 20 is my minimum, and 28 is my maximum.
I don't like dating anyone younger than I am for some reason, but I don't want a "sugar daddy" by any means. :/

[TornZero]

Originally Posted by -ty-

Although this is not a LGBT-exclusive question, I thought it would be interesting, and Freaky+other heterosexual individuals can have an opportunity to answer.
What is you age? What is your age-range for dating (minimum/maximum)?

I'm 18. I prefer the people I date being within about 2-3 years of my own age.

[FreakyLocz14]

Originally Posted by -ty-

Although this is not a LGBT-exclusive question, I thought it would be interesting, and Freaky+other heterosexual individuals can have an opportunity to answer.
What is you age? What is your age-range for dating (minimum/maximum)?

I'm 21. Minimum is 18 for legal purposes. Maximum? I don't really have one. Some older guys are younger looking, but they should generally be in their 20's.

[QuilavaKing]

Originally Posted by -ty-

What is you age? What is your age-range for dating (minimum/maximum)?

I'm 19. I would prefer that they're younger than me, so like 16-19. I look like I'm like 15 myself though, so I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I wouldn't actually go for someone in high school though, just because they're way too annoying on average. lol

So I guess 18-19.

[Scarf]

Originally Posted by -ty-

In addition, although your girlfriend may be very supportive of the LGBT community, it may not translate to a relationship. For example, many people who are supportive of LGBT individuals may not feel comfortable dating a transgender person. Although they are advocates of transgender people's rights, they may not be attracted to the idea of dating them.

While very true, there are still people who will surprise you in a good way. :)

Originally Posted by -ty-

What is you age? What is your age-range for dating (minimum/maximum)?/

While I don't have a problem with the idea of dating someone much younger or older than I am, I don't think I would have as much in common with someone who's 18 as I would with someone who is 21 or 25. I'm actually dating someone several years older than me, but I could see myself hypothetically dating someone even older if it were the right person.

Then again, I don't like the whole sugar daddy thing either.

[Shining Raichu]

I'm 21. I'd say my minimum is 17 and my maximum is 25. I don't think I'd like to go more than four years above or below. Not while I'm this young as least. I think as you get older, age differences tend to matter less.

[Rednael]

I'm 17, My minimum is.. 15? and my maximum is 18. I want someone around my age so I can relate to them.

[Ineffable~]

I prefer someone I can relate to, but like Scarf said, age otherwise doesn't matter much to me. I would like to say I would always follow the "your age minus seven, then doubled" rule (converse to the half plus seven rule) but honestly I just date whoever feels right to me. I probably wouldn't date anyone muchmuch younger than me simply since I'm approaching eighteen right now, but I guess anything could happen. As long as I can relate to the person well enough.

[Pikapal642]

What is you age? What is your age-range for dating (minimum/maximum)?

Oops, I had no idea this topic was happening, xD.

I am 20, and my range for dating would be 18-25, about. I won't discount the possibility of dating someone older, but I don't think it is likely. xD

[Kikyochanx]

Count me in on joining this club. Never knew there was one in the social groups, but this also seems pretty cool. ^.^

I'm bisexual, and I'm a female. Yes, people do know about me being bisexual. I have told friends, some family, and other people who I know online really well.

[bubblebeam]

Ooooh, I'd like to join!

And to answer the question everyone seems to be answering, I'm 17, and would only go two years above or one year below. Most of the time I'd stay in a one year radius though, mainly because I have brothers older and younger in a two year radius of my age, and 1. I'd feel weird going out with someone in the same school year as my little brother, and 2. They don't know I'm gay, and would probably find out if I went out with someone their age.

[Shining Raichu]

Welcome to bubblebeam and Kikyochanx!! Adding your names into the member list now

Also, another small win in the fight for our rights!

I remember this caused outrage not too long ago, so I'm really glad to see it changing.

[Ineffable~]

Originally Posted by Shining Raichu

Also, another small win in the fight for our rights!

I remember this caused outrage not too long ago, so I'm really glad to see it changing.

I feel somewhat uncompelled to think of this as a real victory. It feels more like a non-loss, I mean seriously? Still no donating blood if you have had sex in the past year?
I'll call it a win once the policies for all sexes/sexualities/gender identities (and all combinations of the three) are the exact same.

Originally Posted by Kikyochanx

Count me in on joining this club. Never knew there was one in the social groups, but this also seems pretty cool. ^.^

I'm bisexual, and I'm a female. Yes, people do know about me being bisexual. I have told friends, some family, and other people who I know online really well.

Originally Posted by bubblebeam

Ooooh, I'd like to join!

And to answer the question everyone seems to be answering, I'm 17, and would only go two years above or one year below. Most of the time I'd stay in a one year radius though, mainly because I have brothers older and younger in a two year radius of my age, and 1. I'd feel weird going out with someone in the same school year as my little brother, and 2. They don't know I'm gay, and would probably find out if I went out with someone their age.

^^ Welcome to both of you! Have fun here and stay active!

[U_Flame]

What the ****!? I found out that if you're not a citizen and you marry someone of the same sex (I believe this is before gay marrage became illegal) who is, you DON'T become one! So why is it that a straight marriagemakes a difference?