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  #1776    
Old December 21st, 2011 (08:17 AM).
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Ctrl.Alt.Geak Ctrl.Alt.Geak is offline
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I'm loving all these positive coming out stories recently. They are very sweet and are making me stress less about the thought of coming out myself (which I really want to do...I'm just too scared)

What are your 5 most important non-negotiables when it comes to dating? (You absolutely cannot date anyone with these qualities) Also, avoid being vague, like saying, "must be nice".

1) Must be a feminine female
2) Must not have some kind of substance abuse problem
3) Must be mature, at least somewhat educated and not be egotistical
4) Must not make sex a primary concern (stolen from FreakyLocz14)
5) Must not have anger/violence issues
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  #1777    
Old December 21st, 2011 (08:22 AM).
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Quote originally posted by FreakyLocz14:
5) Must not make sex a primary concern of our relationship
I forgot this one. This is just fundamental to me because I don't even really get sexually attracted until a long way into the relationship.
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#077: Ponyta - The Fire Horse Pokémon
Fire ~ Field eggs
3'03" ~ 66.1lbs ~ 50/50

Its hooves are 10 times harder
than diamonds. It can trample
anything completely flat in moments.

Abilities: Run Away or Flash Fire or Flame Body
Moves: Growl, Flame Wheel, Stomp, Agility
Locations: Pokémon Mansion

Cry

Other names:

jp: ポニータ (Ponyta)
de: Ponita
fr: Ponyta
cn: 小火馬 (Xiǎohuǒmǎ)


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  #1778    
Old December 21st, 2011 (08:27 AM).
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Quote:
1.) Cute personality. Not loud, or rude, etc.
2a.) Small boobs if they're a girl.
2b.) No body hair if they're a guy. (I guess I could've just said good looking, but you said not to be vague. lol)
3.) Serious about the relationship. No chance of cheating or anything like that.
4.) Smart. (And now I'm gonna be vague, because I can't think of anything else to say about it.)
5.) Doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. Cares about their health. (And willing to put up with me trying to make them eat healthier/exercise, since I'm a health nut. lol)
There are still people like you left that prefer this?! My hero!! <3

What are your 5 most important non-negotiables when it comes to dating? (You absolutely cannot date anyone with these qualities) Also, avoid being vague, like saying, "must be nice".

1. Please for the love of God have a sense of humor.
2. Overly-religious people turn me off. I'm fine with religion, I'm a Christian myself, but don't be a backwards, pushy, always talking about God or Allah or whatever.
3. Take the relationship seriously. Not like "omg we must stay together forever" seriously, just don't cheat, flirt with someone else, you know. But don't be trying to get me in bed. It won't work.
4. Don't smoke cigarettes. Weed is kinda pushing it, but I can tolerate it as long as you don't do it around me. Other drugs are a no-no and I'll punch you. I don't care about alcohol, just don't be an alcoholic.
5. Be adorable and be yourself. :) Chances are, if you're being yourself, you're being adorable.

Maybe I'm too specific. :( I have kinda high standards really, lol.

Quote:
I don't pick people who I'm interested in being in a relationship with based on a set of criteria, lol. I don't care about intelligence or bad habits or whatever, all I'm interested in is that they value me over sex. That said, a healthy amount of sex is always nice too!! I'll stop now.
I agree, even though I wouldn't be doing it haha. I still could never bring myself to do that before I'm married. There's one rare occasion I can think of, but other than that, no.
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  #1779    
Old December 21st, 2011 (08:30 AM).
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1) Someone who is very social. The person needs to know how to talk to me without all the awkward silences that come up when I talk with someone.

2) No drug and alcohol addicts. They must be clean.

3) Educated. I don't want an imbecile as my partner.

4) Someone that'll make me happy.

5) Someone who values family and will make an effort to get along with mine no matter who it is.
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  #1780    
Old December 21st, 2011 (09:35 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Razor Leaf:
I don't pick people who I'm interested in being in a relationship with based on a set of criteria, lol. I don't care about intelligence or bad habits or whatever, all I'm interested in is that they value me over sex. That said, a healthy amount of sex is always nice too!! I'll stop now.
I completely understand where you are coming from, but I didn't set any standards or requirements and I ended up with someone who I was really not compatible with because I overlooked things that I valued, and thought I could overcome the differences. Overlooking something that you really need your partner to have is usually the root of most break-ups.

The whole point is to identify the important things. Yes, I may want to date a model, but realistically, I would never hold someone to that standard. More commonly, I see people say that they only date blondes or brunettes; that, in my opinion, seems to be WAY too superficial. So yes, some criteria can be unhealthy!!

Haha, and yes, mostly everyone is able to have sex, but very few people are able to offer, for lack of a better word or phrase, friendship or emotional chemistry to a specific person.

@ everyone, wow, there were alot of responses! There were alot of similarities among our relationship needs; you are starting to make me think that we should all start pairing off...lmao!
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  #1781    
Old December 21st, 2011 (09:38 AM).
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Patatas Fritas Patatas Fritas is offline
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So I've been meaning to for ages but yeah can I join please?

o.o
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  #1782    
Old December 21st, 2011 (09:39 AM). Edited December 21st, 2011 by Esper.
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Quote originally posted by Axєl:
Also, at Scarf's combo-breaker, I'm sorry work made your morning suck. I've had a similar issue happen at work where a trans person comes in and ruins the opinion of them for everyone in any nearby area. >__> Then you try to tell your co-workers differently, and not all trans people are the same, nor act the same, and it.. doesn't work. I feel you there.
The part about it that bothers me the most is that no one else who was there tried to say anything to her and she took the silence as agreement so I was left alone to try to be reasonable. I mean, I could tell people I'm trans (but I don't want to and I can easily pass as not trans when I choose to), but I keep hoping I can convince her to be reasonable without resorting to that.


What are your 5 most important non-negotiables when it comes to dating?

Eh, I only came up with 4, but they cover most everything.

1. Wit. I want to be able to talk with someone about a lot of different things and be stimulated mentally by being around them.
2. No substance abuse. I used to think this meant no drinking/smoking/anything whatsoever, but circumstances have made me amend that position somewhat.
3. Nerdy/geeky. That's what I am. They don't have have to be nerdy about the same things, but if they can't understand my interests because they have nothing even remotely similar in their life it's not going to be a long lasting relationship.
4. Not a Repubilcan. In other words someone who isn't simultaneously very religious, a gun-lover, anti-gay, and so on. There would be too many conflicts. I suppose I could maybe see myself dating someone who was seriously religious, but I just can't see someone like that being devoid of other qualities I don't like.



Edit: Yeah, ~Kawaii~, you can join. Andy will add you to the list but go ahead and jump in anytime.
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  #1783    
Old December 21st, 2011 (09:55 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
4. Not a Repubilcan. In other words someone who isn't simultaneously very religious, a gun-lover, anti-gay, and so on. There would be too many conflicts. I suppose I could maybe see myself dating someone who was seriously religious, but I just can't see someone like that being devoid of other qualities I don't like.
I agree with that one. It doesn't come in as the fifth though.
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  #1784    
Old December 21st, 2011 (10:05 AM).
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Quote:
@ everyone, wow, there were alot of responses! There were alot of similarities among our relationship needs; you are starting to make me think that we should all start pairing off...lmao!
I'll pair off with Scarf!!!

Quote:
4. Not a Repubilcan. In other words someone who isn't simultaneously very religious, a gun-lover, anti-gay, and so on. There would be too many conflicts. I suppose I could maybe see myself dating someone who was seriously religious, but I just can't see someone like that being devoid of other qualities I don't like.
If he can handle that I'm a Republican that happens to not be overly religious, a gun hater, pro-gay, and so on. :3c

On the subject of dating someone with different beliefs, I don't mind them having different beliefs as me, as long as they aren't pushing them on me and telling me that what I think is wrong. I just grew up learning to accept and love people for who they are, race, religion, sex, sexuality, etc aside. Breaks my heart when people can't do that. :( So if anything, I'd just have to be with someone accepting.

Also, I could have probably thought of 10 things for that list. I'm that picky. ;(
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  #1785    
Old December 21st, 2011 (12:36 PM).
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Quote originally posted by -ty-:
@nakuzami

You don't know who he is? Oh, you are 13, then you probably have never heard of Fast and the Furious(unless they made a bunch of sequals) or Joy Ride; they were both out in theatres a little over 10 years ago. He isn't quite as popular nowadays, but his hotness remains intact!
Well, I wouldn't want you to miss out, so here is a picture of Paul Walker:
Spoiler:


But anyways, he looks like Paul Walker and John Krasinski (from "the Office") combine. So he's kind of sexy and adorable rolled into one. But I want to stress that I am much more picky about a person's morals, ambitions, personality/temperament, and intentions than I am about appearance. Appearance-wise, the only "requirement" is attractive, lol; it's all by my own subjectivity.
Oh, him. Yeah, I've . . . well, I think I tried to watch one of the Fast and the Furious movies (I tihnk either the first or second) but I . . . wasn't too into it, lol.
I also don't watch The Office. That show seemed extremely stupid the few times I tried :/

As far as those non-negotiables go . . . well, I don't really know, really, but I figure one of them would be that he doesn't smoke or do drugs . . . or is an alchoholic (ugh, I've had enough of that with my brother >.>) but beyond that, I'm not quite sure what I have and don't have set in stone about all that, lol.

Ugh, the more I come here the more I feel that I want to come out/get a boyfriend, lol. Though, I guess that's a good thing xD
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  #1786    
Old December 21st, 2011 (02:14 PM).
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mm mm Paul Walkerrr <3

Anyway as for "non-negotiable" things...

Well I don't have many, if I like you I like you and that's all there is too it.
Smoking is a big turn off for me, as is drug use, if my partner did those things then I'd probably want them to stop it. I'm not a fan of people who drink excessively, I don't mind if you get drunk sometimes but if it's like ALL THE TIME then I'm just like "Uh... No?"... I guess I'd prefer them to be clean, look after them selves, have a likable personality - I don't want to date a guy who doesn't treat me nicely, a compliment now and then would be appreciated, the odd gift etc. and I'm not gonna lie - If you have money I'm more likely to date you; (It's terrible I know.) I'd much rather be with a guy who can actually live stably and not always have to worry about money than someone who can hardly afford to pay the bills!

Not to mention... I... Like the "finer things" in life.
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  #1787    
Old December 21st, 2011 (03:22 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Sydian:
There are still people like you left that prefer this?! My hero!! <3
Well, big boobs just aren't as cute, imo. lol
Wait, if that makes me your hero... Le gasp! Did I just uncover the mysterious Sydian's true gender?
Quote originally posted by Nakuzami:
Ugh, the more I come here the more I feel that I want to come out/get a boyfriend, lol. Though, I guess that's a good thing xD
Lol, no need to rush. I'll be 20 tomorrow, and I've never had a bf/gf... though I have been asked out a few times. (There needs to be a term that encompasses both boyfriends and girlfriends, other than just date, because that sounds like it's a one time affair to me.)
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  #1788    
Old December 21st, 2011 (03:40 PM).
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Quote:
Well, big boobs just aren't as cute, imo. lol
Wait, if that makes me your hero... Le gasp! Did I just uncover the mysterious Sydian's true gender?
Not really. :( I just don't understand the fascination with big boobs, so finding people that like small boobs is amazing to me. lol

NICE TRY BRO :3c
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  #1789    
Old December 21st, 2011 (05:09 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Sydian:


Not really. :( I just don't understand the fascination with big boobs, so finding people that like small boobs is amazing to me. lol

NICE TRY BRO :3c
Dang. Well, at least I'm amazing now. That's good enough for me. :P
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  #1790    
Old December 21st, 2011 (05:21 PM).
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What are your 5 most important non-negotiables when it comes to dating? (You absolutely cannot date anyone with these qualities) Also, avoid being vague, like saying, "must be nice"

1. I'm going to have to say hygenic. Like I'm kind of a clean freak so we'd just be at odds all day.
2. Quirky, or at least able to understand me and my humor. Like my parents don't laught at my jokes so it'd be amazing if le future bf does.
3. Somewhat decent dresser. This isn't required, but is always welcomed.
4. Emotional, or able to empathize with me as I'm quite emotional myself.
5. Must be a redhead. They are freaking sex on legs.
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  #1791    
Old December 21st, 2011 (05:30 PM).
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This is a pretty interesting topic and I find myself nodding my head and shaking my head at a lot of your answers, hahah. Not that I'm looking up to or down upon any of you! Anyways, that is just my small bit of contribution. I really would rather not answer this question. I would just be typing a very confusing essay and typing in circle since I tend to think on these sorts of things overmuch.
So, if it ever comes up in coversation just between you (whomever) and I, be prepared. xD
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  #1792    
Old December 21st, 2011 (07:14 PM).
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Nakuzami Nakuzami is offline
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Quote originally posted by QuilavaKing:
Lol, no need to rush. I'll be 20 tomorrow, and I've never had a bf/gf... though I have been asked out a few times. (There needs to be a term that encompasses both boyfriends and girlfriends, other than just date, because that sounds like it's a one time affair to me.)
I know, lol, but still~ xD
I've been asked out, and multiple people have apparently had crushes on me. What's the problem? They were all girls, of course. xD

I want to say that Sydian is . . . er . . . um . . . okay, there's a 50/50 chance (unless we count herm, in which case it's 33/33/33 xD) so I'ma guess that Sydian is a guy. I dunno, that's just what I assumed the very first time I saw 'em around, lol.

Well, other than this:
Quote originally posted by Nakuzami:
I figure one of them would be that he doesn't smoke or do drugs . . . or is an alchoholic

the only other thing I can think of, other than those shallow little things that you just want in someone, is that, of course, they have a personality compatible with mine. Being cute would be a bonus, although I guess that's not required, lol x3
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  #1793    
Old December 22nd, 2011 (01:05 AM).
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Briar Briar is offline
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What are your 5 most important non-negotiables when it comes to dating? (You absolutely cannot date anyone with these qualities) Also, avoid being vague, like saying, "must be nice".
1. must not have any vices.
2. generally, i'd want to date someone who is very clean and hygienic. for guys, especially, i wouldn't date you if you don't shave at least thrice a week (when i say "shave", i mean your face).
3. someone with whom i can have both shallow and deep conversations with. it's not really a non-negotiable, but i wouldn't date you in the first place if you couldn't do that.
4. someone who likes to read and/or watch a lot of fiction. i'd want someone with a good imagination.
5. must like me for who i am. :-) /cliché
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  #1794    
Old December 22nd, 2011 (01:35 AM).
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Ineffable~ Ineffable~ is offline
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Guys, I don't know, the slowness here makes me cry (figuratively). Please ansher my new topics:

What do you think of the stereotypes that are attached to your sexuality/identity (gay/bi/trans/whatever)? Which one of them, if any, do you fit the best? Do you ever conform to them intentionally, or go out of your way to defy them?

Slightly separate but related:

Did stereotypes affect you when you were in the questioning stage?

(E.g. if you were not sure if you were gay, did you ever think "I don't fit this stereotype so idk"?)

Quote originally posted by Nakuzami:
I want to say that Sydian is . . . er . . . um . . . okay, there's a 50/50 chance (unless we count herm, in which case it's 33/33/33 xD) so I'ma guess that Sydian is a guy. I dunno, that's just what I assumed the very first time I saw 'em around, lol.

THERE IS A 100% CHANCE THAT SYDIAN IS SYDIAN. :D


Offtopic: I must go to some Internet-less place for Christmas, everybody. ;3; See you in like a week. I WILL MISS YOU ALL ASDFGHJKL.
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#077: Ponyta - The Fire Horse Pokémon
Fire ~ Field eggs
3'03" ~ 66.1lbs ~ 50/50

Its hooves are 10 times harder
than diamonds. It can trample
anything completely flat in moments.

Abilities: Run Away or Flash Fire or Flame Body
Moves: Growl, Flame Wheel, Stomp, Agility
Locations: Pokémon Mansion

Cry

Other names:

jp: ポニータ (Ponyta)
de: Ponita
fr: Ponyta
cn: 小火馬 (Xiǎohuǒmǎ)


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  #1795    
Old December 22nd, 2011 (05:33 AM). Edited December 22nd, 2011 by Briar.
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Quote originally posted by Ineffable~:
Guys, I don't know, the slowness here makes me cry (figuratively). Please ansher my new topics:

What do you think of the stereotypes that are attached to your sexuality/identity (gay/bi/trans/whatever)? Which one of them, if any, do you fit the best? Do you ever conform to them intentionally, or go out of your way to defy them?

Slightly separate but related:

Did stereotypes affect you when you were in the questioning stage?

(E.g. if you were not sure if you were gay, did you ever think "I don't fit this stereotype so idk"?)

OOPS.
i don't know. in my country, although we're pretty much accepting of lgbtq people, we're still quite misinformed about the difference between sexual identity vs. sexual orientation. if you're a non-straight girl, then you must want to be a boy, act like a boy, or want to assume the domineering role in a relationship. as much as i want to debunk these stereotypes about non-heterosexual women, i, unfortunately, grew up with a rather androgynous personality and physical appearance, so i can't really help but fit into the non-heterosexual girl stereotype.

as for the second question, i still am in a rather questioning/fluid stage, and sometimes, i ask myself if there's a possibility that i could be genderqueer or anything like that because of my preference for clothing and style. right now, i try not to think about labelling myself because i'm still not sure of my identity and my feelings, and i do feel that it will just complicate my self-perception. the only thing i'm comfortable labelling myself with is "non-heterosexual".
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  #1796    
Old December 22nd, 2011 (01:14 PM).
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Keiran Keiran is offline
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This was pretty funny.

http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2011/12/gay_marriage_amy_koch_michael_brodkorb.php
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  #1797    
Old December 22nd, 2011 (01:28 PM).
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I believe that it's her fault that her marriage fell apart, not ours... >.<
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  #1798    
Old December 22nd, 2011 (02:16 PM).
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Keiran Keiran is offline
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Quote originally posted by First Snow:
I believe that it's her fault that her marriage fell apart, not ours... >.<
That's..the point >.> They are being sarcastic.
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  #1799    
Old December 22nd, 2011 (02:27 PM).
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Patatas Fritas Patatas Fritas is offline
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Haha yeah I saw that earlier, put a smile on my face. I love the sarcasm in it it's just like "lol at you."
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Old December 22nd, 2011 (03:02 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Keiran777:
That's..the point >.> They are being sarcastic.
Ahahaha. :D Sorry I only skimmed it. XD
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