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  #2151    
Old February 4th, 2012 (01:01 AM).
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Well, the differentiation of bisexual vs pansexual for myself is that bisexuals maintain favorable lists of qualities for boys and a favorable list of qualities for girls. A pansexual maintains a single list of desirable qualities.

So, in my case, as a pansexual girl I honestly can't foresee a prediction with regards to gender. It'll just be whoever I wind up with, I guess.
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  #2152    
Old February 4th, 2012 (01:16 AM). Edited February 4th, 2012 by TwiDragon.
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Quote originally posted by QuilavaKing:
I have a couple questions for other Bisexuals(or pan/poly/omni lol), just out of curiosity. (How many do we have anyway?)

I'm just wondering how equally other people like each gender, and which do you see yourself more likely to be in a long-term (possibly permanent) relationship with? Also, how often does that change for you? Do you ever have times where you don't like one gender at all, and it's all about the other one?

For me, I would have to say that I like girl in terms of apperence about 60/40. A lot of my fantasys however normality revolve around at least one guy involved in them other than myself. I can be very nit-picky with apperence, and this goes with both genders, however a lot of masculine traits don't really please me, so I tend to be more picky towards guys.
I would love to have a relationship with a guy, infact I've had a lot thought about weather or not I should open up to a guy online, but I'm not sure due to distance. In terms of my desires of what I would like right now, I'd probably be able to do more things a true full relationship has with a guy. I don't want to get into much detail, but there is more things I'd be willing to do sexually either through conversation or through physical interaction. Even with past girlfriends I haven't been able to build up confidence to do any kind of action. However, with guys I can go up to them and have a conversation about all sorts of stuff like its nothing (Mostly online)

So in short, I like the feminine nature however I have more gay/bi fantasys than straight ones.

EDIT - I also would like to say that I am jumping around a bit. I could really go into detail (insane detail) over a PM or something. I don't want to say anything that would land me with an infraction :x
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  #2153    
Old February 4th, 2012 (01:39 AM).
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If you find feminine qualities attractive in both boys and girls you might just be gynephilic
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  #2154    
Old February 4th, 2012 (01:46 AM).
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Well thing is, its really three things that get to me: Super Short Hair, Large Muscular Build, and Hair (outside the head)
I know its a fictional character, but the Main Protagonist in Persona 3 and Russia from Hetalia are two guys I find attractive. However, if their were an irl version of a charachter like Goku(DBZ), then I wouldn't be interested :x
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Old February 4th, 2012 (01:50 AM).
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Uhhuh, so you desire more feminine qualities in a partner regardless of gender. Likewise, I suspect a very boyish girl (who might have some of those same qualities) would be equally unappealing to you, right?~
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  #2156    
Old February 4th, 2012 (01:52 AM).
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Actually, I find them to be rather attractive. I wouldn't know what you mean by text, which is why its hard for me to say what I don't and do like in terms of apperence. If I could show images, and go into massive detail I would, but as I said I don't want to drag it out too long, and I don't even know if some of the stuff I would have to say would be rated for the fourm :x
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Old February 4th, 2012 (02:25 AM).
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I find girls who look like boys hot and boys who look like girls hot XD Its different I know
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  #2158    
Old February 4th, 2012 (08:42 AM).
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^That actually isn't far off from me. I actually find girls with reasonably short hair (not like bald or borderline) and who go as tomboys to be attractive. However, my line of what I'm attracted too is a lot more open than just that
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  #2159    
Old February 4th, 2012 (10:09 AM).
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Quote originally posted by QuilavaKing:
I'm just wondering how equally other people like each gender, and which do you see yourself more likely to be in a long-term (possibly permanent) relationship with? Also, how often does that change for you? Do you ever have times where you don't like one gender at all, and it's all about the other one?
Short answer: I like girls more than boys.

Long answer: I am, or have been, attracted to a large range of genders/body types/appearances/etc., more often than not a girl, but there are plenty of guys and trans people I think are cute. Recently I've been finding more guys more attractive more often, but I think that's because I'm in a relationship and have all the feminine beauty I could possibly want right before my eyes. :3 Of course I'm not saying I'm gonna act on the other feelings, just that I'm noticing them. When I'm single I tend to find feminine traits more attractive on average, regardless of who they appear on.

Quote originally posted by Pudz:
If you find feminine qualities attractive in both boys and girls you might just be gynephilic ^_^
Pudz wins the Word of the Day award.
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  #2160    
Old February 4th, 2012 (02:29 PM).
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OK here we have a garden variety bigot talking about why gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry. Nothing special, certainly nothing we haven't seen before. It's become so common it doesn't even really anger me anymore lol - but the reason I'm pasting this is because the argument he is using is one that they all seem to use as if by some filthy bigot hive-mind. He's using the argument that essentially gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry because it doesn't benefit society. For some reason, this time it got me thinking.

Pretend for a moment that he is right - that gay marriage doesn't benefit society in any way. He's not, of course, but just use your imaginations. Why on earth, even if correct, is this argument relevant? Why does everything have to further some sort of human agenda in order for it to be legal? Why does everything we do have to have a point?
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  #2161    
Old February 4th, 2012 (02:50 PM).
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Any person in political power who has to back up something on religion or on hatred for a group, is not a good person. I think that in time all of these old people who go by standereds from 40 years ago need to go. We need politicians who are more modern, ones that weren't raised under the roof of an anti-gay agenda. Its not right.
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Old February 4th, 2012 (03:08 PM).
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Considering what Santorum means now, I don't see how anyone could possibly take him seriously. lol
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  #2163    
Old February 4th, 2012 (04:43 PM). Edited February 4th, 2012 by Phantom.
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I am never watching House again. Due to a rude and outright distastful episode this season.

For those who haven't watched the episode. Wilson has an asexual couple as patients, and House makes a bet with him that she's not asexual, that it doesn't exist and something can explain it. So he scans the guy and finds he has a brain tumor that is affecting his sex drive and giving him ED. Then his wife says she's not asexual, she just humored him. Basically they said it didn't exist. And they put this on national television.

Link to a story. I just saw this episode and I had no idea so I was seriously shocked when I watched it.
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  #2164    
Old February 4th, 2012 (06:31 PM).
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Your link is broken

I think it's very important though, when watching fiction, not to take it too seriously. It was the opinion of Dr. House that asexualism does not exist; and I don't watch the show but from my understanding his character is fairly cantankerous and closed-minded anyway. I don't think this was meant to be some statement to the world that it doesn't exist, just that it wasn't the case for the couple in this story. In any case, it is all fiction... it's just meant for entertainment and I think it goes with the tone of the show.
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Old February 4th, 2012 (06:50 PM).
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Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
I am never watching House again. Due to a rude and outright distastful episode this season.

For those who haven't watched the episode. Wilson has an asexual couple as patients, and House makes a bet with him that she's not asexual, that it doesn't exist and something can explain it. So he scans the guy and finds he has a brain tumor that is affecting his sex drive and giving him ED. Then his wife says she's not asexual, she just humored him. Basically they said it didn't exist. And they put this on national television.

Link to a story. I just saw this episode and I had no idea so I was seriously shocked when I watched it.
Do you watch House often? He also claims that it's impossible for a little girl to be brave in the face of cancer and impossible that a woman can feel calm when surrounded by mentally disabled children. House just thinks anything that's not usual isn't possible, and it usually is. House isn't realistic, lol.
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  #2166    
Old February 4th, 2012 (07:46 PM).
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The writer of the episode had this to say in response to the concerns she received:

Quote:
“I did a lot of research on asexuality for the episode. My original intent was to introduce it and legitimize it, because I was struck by the response most of you experience, which is similar to the prejudice the homosexual community has received. People hear you’re asexual and they immediately think, ‘What’s wrong with you, how do I fix you?’ I wanted to write against that. Unfortunately, we are a medical mystery show. Time & again, my notes came back that House needed to solve a mystery and not be wrong. So in THIS CASE, with THESE patients, it was a tumor near the pituitary. But I hoped I could (now it seems unsuccessfully) introduce asexuality to the general public and get them asking questions. All they need to do is one google search and they can see for themselves it’s a real community of great people. Originally, part of my dialog included thoughts about whether as a species we’ve grown past sex. Any time we tackle a subject, we risk the possibility of not doing it justice. I apologize that you feel I did you a disservice. It was not my intent. Asexuality is a new topic for me and definitely one I find fascinating. It is a subject I would like to continue to explore here or on future shows I write for. I think it speaks to where humans are now and where we are going. I will do my best in the future to do it justice.”

— House writer Kath Lingenfelter on writing the eighth episode of season nine (“Better Half”), in a Twitter response to AVEN user cleuchtturm.
I still haven't seen the episode in question, but I have followed this since the promo of the episode aired. And while House isn't realistic, it still hurts the asexual community that both "asexual" characters of that episode had that label erased by either medical reasons or just plain lying. Especially in a popular show like House. Now more people know that asexuality exists, but in the show it was explained away and not treated like an actual orientation. This was probably the first introduction to asexuality for hundreds of people. While some educate themselves and learn that it's an actual orientation, other people will just think that anyone who is asexual has either something medically wrong with them or is lying.

Since I'm tired, this isn't making much sense. But this is the article PhantomX0990 linked to, which explains it better. I should mention, though, that the comments are full of fail.
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  #2167    
Old February 5th, 2012 (04:42 AM).
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Well, this is new. I'm not even quite sure I know what to say for this article, it's... there are no words, it's so horrifying. I'll give you a two-word spoiler: "Jailed. Pantsless."
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Old February 5th, 2012 (05:15 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Pudz:
As with the above, I think you're making a big deal out of nothing at all. As well as it being entirely in-character for House to have that opinion, many people are situationally asexual to begin with. I'm not arguing that there aren't people out there who know from the earliest age that they lack a sex-drive, but for every one of them, there's likely three or four people who were led that way by circumstance. Three examples?

One of my ex-girlfriends settled into a contented state of asexuality when it became clear that she'd never be able to live as the person she so badly desired to be.

Another, my most recent, was asexual before transitioning because any association with her masculine body traits made her feel anxious. Thing is, now that she's a girl? She's significantly more sexual.

And then, there's me; I was the kind of boy who would go out four nights a week to hook up with girls (or boys) for one-night encounters, and I /enjoyed/ it. Now that I've started to transition, my sexual desires have all-but stopped, and I would almost describe myself as asexual as a result. It's not that I don't want sex anymore, it's just that it seems boring to me.

In all three of these cases - and in the case of the House episode - the asexuality is a conscious choice and/or entirely situational. I think that's all the writers were seeking to demonstrate; that while most homosexuals are born with a predisposition, many asexuals are the way they are due to situational circumstances; perhaps even those beyond their control.

Of course, it could all be a bit of observation in the ridiculousness of self-labeling, but it's probably not.
Yeah and the fact that everyone knows House is a complete and utter jerk haha.. it's kind of in his role to be that way.


Why is this thread becoming like.. pinpointing every other person who's saying homosexuality or some form of sexuality other than heterosexual is wrong?
Isn't it better to ignore them completely than give them attention?
Either that or I keep popping back here at the wrong times haha.
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Old February 5th, 2012 (05:24 AM).
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Because when you type "gay" into Google News search that's all that comes up for us to talk about. If you have alternate topics for us, by all means fire away!
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Old February 5th, 2012 (06:15 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
Well, this is new. I'm not even quite sure I know what to say for this article, it's... there are no words, it's so horrifying. I'll give you a two-word spoiler: "Jailed. Pantsless."
A friend of mine from that area said there was a gay bashing there just the other night, too, where the victim ended up in the ER. It's very disheartening to hear.
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Old February 5th, 2012 (09:52 AM). Edited February 6th, 2012 by Kura.
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
Because when you type "gay" into Google News search that's all that comes up for us to talk about. If you have alternate topics for us, by all means fire away!
So you're saying it's ok to bash people who bash you first? : |
Well no wonder no one can get along.. if we're going by google, it feels like people in general are just looking for others to hate because they need some sort of excitement in their lives so they start fights. I don't think that's right; yeah we can get offended, but we can't give them the time of day or they'll ultimately win in their hate-battle.

I say that we should call more attention to actually supporting gays rather than giving negative attention to people who don't support gays.

You really can't think of another topic? There are endless possibilities.
Ok..
What do you realistically think the worldview on homosexuality might be like in 20 years time and why? What would you do now to help change the worldview so that it's one that you would like to see in the future?

As for me.. raise awareness most definitely! Go to the pride parades every year and if I have a child who's gay or a friend who is gay I would be accepting and I would want to be someone they could go to for help or just to talk. I guess try to help in any way that I could, really and when the opportunity arises. Perhaps voting against government figures who oppose homosexuality would be a start, too.
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Old February 5th, 2012 (10:38 AM).
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The awareness is speeding quickly. Celbertys and political figures are speaking up against it, and it feels as if the world is becoming more open (The USA in name). There are still a lot of old biggoted people such as the guys on Fox News, Rick Santorum, and the govener of Tennesee. These powers are influencing others to be anti-gay. As well as religion, but thats not going down anytime soon.
There have been so much discrimination in the history, but in the end the tables turn, and they are treated equally. The gay rights moment has a large voice, and it will soon be heard throughout the country.
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Old February 5th, 2012 (11:09 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Kura:
So you're saying it's ok to bash people who bash you first? : |
Well no wonder no one can get along.. if we're going by google, it feels like people in general are just looking for others to hate because they need some sort of excitement in their lives so they start fights. I don't think that's right; yeah we can get offended, but we can't give them the time of day or they'll ultimately win in their hate-battle.
Give him a break, geez. He wasn't bashing anyone, just pointing out news stories relating to the LGBT community. Unfortunately, most happen to be negative because most stories are of something wrong that's happened to someone in the community. This:

Quote:
You really can't think of another topic? There are endless possibilities.
Is also quite rude (I'm just letting you know since you seem to never know when you are being rude), Andy has been here from the beginning and coming up with topics quite often, it's understandable that he's not going to be able to come up with a topic that you approve of on demand. If he popped in once every couple weeks maybe he would be more inclined to have amazing new ideas when he came back.

I also have to say that I vehemently disagree with this:

Quote originally posted by Kura:
Isn't it better to ignore them completely than give them attention?
If you ignore an issue, the issue gets larger. The people who are bigots remain bigots and will not be influenced by the greater fabric of LGBT acceptance. The people that are on the fence on LGBT rights (I've met some who I personally convinced) will only have the loud voices of homophobes to guide them in their decision. If you just shut up and put up and don't try to change anything, then nothing will change. I feel a club like this is a great way to bring awareness to issues that can then be spread by other means. I've taken articles from here and posted them to Facebook and to my school's LGBT club, spreading the amount of people that know about the injustice and that may do something about it.

Take for example Andy's latest link. Do you really think if people just 'ignored' what those police officers did, it would get better? They're not doing it to look for attention, they're doing it because they're homophobes and want to abuse them whenever they can. If that's ignored, then people in that area will still be subject to homophobic police officers because we decided it's too sad to think about what's wrong in the world and would rather come up with hypothetical topics about what may happen sometime in the future than deal with the sadness and try to make a difference.
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Old February 5th, 2012 (11:20 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
OK here we have a garden variety bigot talking about why gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry. Nothing special, certainly nothing we haven't seen before. It's become so common it doesn't even really anger me anymore lol - but the reason I'm pasting this is because the argument he is using is one that they all seem to use as if by some filthy bigot hive-mind. He's using the argument that essentially gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry because it doesn't benefit society. For some reason, this time it got me thinking.

Pretend for a moment that he is right - that gay marriage doesn't benefit society in any way. He's not, of course, but just use your imaginations. Why on earth, even if correct, is this argument relevant? Why does everything have to further some sort of human agenda in order for it to be legal? Why does everything we do have to have a point?
Presumably, everyone who isn't gay is straight (asexuals get forgotten completely) so, presumably, they're all going to want to get married and have children and, again, presumably, having children is how you contribute. Doesn't matter that not everyone who can have kids "the old fashioned way" actually do, they still get a pass because, ya know, maybe they'll change their minds.

Er, yeah. Best I could do to get into the minds of people totally unlike me. I mean, I understand that you would ideally want all people to be contributing to the world. That's what I'd like, but I don't see people contributing through their orientations. I see it in stuff like people teaching, charities, and all that good stuff.

Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
I am never watching House again. Due to a rude and outright distastful episode this season.

For those who haven't watched the episode. Wilson has an asexual couple as patients, and House makes a bet with him that she's not asexual, that it doesn't exist and something can explain it. So he scans the guy and finds he has a brain tumor that is affecting his sex drive and giving him ED. Then his wife says she's not asexual, she just humored him. Basically they said it didn't exist. And they put this on national television.

Link to a story. I just saw this episode and I had no idea so I was seriously shocked when I watched it.
It's not easy to have good portrayals outside of gay people in mass media outside of niche areas. Everything is kind of hit and miss. People who are asexual, bi, trans, and so on don't exactly have the wide support we need.

Quote originally posted by Kura:
What do you realistically think the worldview on homosexuality might be like in 20 years time and why? What would you do now to help change the worldview so that it's one that you would like to see in the future
I see things steadily improving overall. I expect that in 20 years there is an even greater push world-wide to have it be respected even in parts of the world where you can be arrested for being gay. I'm optimistic that 20 years from now we'll have seen the last instance of someone being executed by a government for being queer and that the number of gay bashings will be next to zero. I'd expect that all the developed countries, the USA included, will allow marriage to everyone, though places like China to still be behind in official recognition.

I think 20 years is enough of a generation gap to put people who are young now into positions of power and for old fashioned people to step down, die off, or what have you, to the extent that they aren't representing the people of the world in politics and business and so on.

What do I do? Nothing specific at the moment. I try to stop bad comments when I hear them and all that. I used to go to a group that helped young people in trouble, but I've let that slide. I dunno, does being out count?
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Old February 5th, 2012 (11:42 AM). Edited February 5th, 2012 by Kura.
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Kura Kura is offline
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Quote originally posted by Toujours:


Give him a break, geez. He wasn't bashing anyone, just pointing out news stories relating to the LGBT community. Unfortunately, most happen to be negative because most stories are of something wrong that's happened to someone in the community. This:



Is also quite rude (I'm just letting you know since you seem to never know when you are being rude), Andy has been here from the beginning and coming up with topics quite often, it's understandable that he's not going to be able to come up with a topic that you approve of on demand. If he popped in once every couple weeks maybe he would be more inclined to have amazing new ideas when he came back.

I also have to say that I vehemently disagree with this:



If you ignore an issue, the issue gets larger. The people who are bigots remain bigots and will not be influenced by the greater fabric of LGBT acceptance. The people that are on the fence on LGBT rights (I've met some who I personally convinced) will only have the loud voices of homophobes to guide them in their decision. If you just shut up and put up and don't try to change anything, then nothing will change. I feel a club like this is a great way to bring awareness to issues that can then be spread by other means. I've taken articles from here and posted them to Facebook and to my school's LGBT club, spreading the amount of people that know about the injustice and that may do something about it.

Take for example Andy's latest link. Do you really think if people just 'ignored' what those police officers did, it would get better? They're not doing it to look for attention, they're doing it because they're homophobes and want to abuse them whenever they can. If that's ignored, then people in that area will still be subject to homophobic police officers because we decided it's too sad to think about what's wrong in the world and would rather come up with hypothetical topics about what may happen sometime in the future than deal with the sadness and try to make a difference.
Dude, if you really know me then you'd I wasn't trying to be rude at all. It's just like.. really? Is there nothing else you want to talk about other than to point out what some close-minded person said? Come on, guys, I know you're better than that. Haters shouldn't be that pressing- at least that's what I think.

You're taking everything I said and blowing it out of proportion; no, police officers shouldn't avoid doing their jobs, and no, people should get off the hook for causing harm to others.. but if we're just gonna draw attention to people who want to be stuck in oldworld views then.. what's the point? How's that furthering us?

I mean come on, I thought we were better than that. To go back and point at everyone who does something anti-gay and say "Oh my god they are terrible people" and basically call attention to it (there's not really any other type of discussion to it because everyone in here is already pro-homo.) I really don't see that as benefitting to trying to get more supporters. If anything it segregates people even more.

So if you don't want to ignore it, then fine.. go ahead and do that. All the power to you, you know? But I choose not to waste my thoughts on the people who want to hurt other people, and I choose to spend my time helping in ways that I can. I don't think spreading news about closeminded people is actually helping much.. those people are going to keep being stupid. :/

I would appreciate it if you didn't call me out here for being rude, though. I mean, how about giving me a break for once and not assuming I meant something malicious? VM me about it if you think that's the case, but I think you're obviously getting the wrong impression of me.. and if Andy thinks I'm being rude, then let him know I encourage him to PM me too. I know I've PMed him for things and we've ironed things out before. I don't think he should be discouraged from doing it again. I knew Andy was here from the beginning.. he freaking started this thread lol! He challenged me to start a new topic because he couldn't think of a pressing one atm.. so I did. Does that actually call for being rude? I don't get it.

In other news, a friend from college was talking to me yesterday and he mentioned he's in a relationship now (a homosexual relationship.) And he never came out beforehand so when he did.. I just had to give him a huge congrats and tell him that I'm glad that he's doing well and seems really happy with him. It was really nice that he was really open about it and didn't feel like he couldn't tell me or his other friends. A huge step in the right direction!
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