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  #2401    
Old March 2nd, 2012 (06:47 PM). Edited March 3rd, 2012 by Victini.
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
After coming out, did you change at all?
Ooh, I thought I would go ahead and answer the topic at hand for myself...

I always knew what I was... there was just never a name for it until recently.. and honestly I haven't changed in the slightest, even upon discovering it... I've always been very open about myself in that category. Weirdly enough, no one has ever made a critical remark towards me about it...

.. I feel bad receiving that fortune when many have been way less fortunate...
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Old March 2nd, 2012 (07:33 PM).
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Welcome to the group Victini!

You never actually mentioned what category you fall under though. Would you care to share it with us? :)
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  #2403    
Old March 2nd, 2012 (07:55 PM).
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Quote originally posted by QuilavaKing:
Welcome to the group Victini!

You never actually mentioned what category you fall under though. Would you care to share it with us? :)

Ooh shucks, my bad... ;;

Uhm, I'm what they call a Gray-A...

But I haven't found myself particularly feeling physical attraction at any point... I'm a little bit wonky. /////////
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  #2404    
Old March 3rd, 2012 (10:36 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Victini:
Ooh, I thought I would go ahead and answer the topic at hand for myself...

I always knew what I was... there was just never a name for it until recently.. and honestly I haven't changed in the slightest, even upon discovering it... I've always been very open about myself in that category. Weirdly enough, no one has ever made a critical remark towards me about it...

.. I feel bad receiving that fortune when many have been way less fortunate...
We don't begrudge you if you had an easy coming out and found acceptance. It's what everyone wants, sure, but if we got mad at you for that we'd be no better than the people who aren't accepting us, you know?
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Old March 3rd, 2012 (10:48 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Victini:
Ooh shucks, my bad... ;;

Uhm, I'm what they call a Gray-A...

But I haven't found myself particularly feeling physical attraction at any point... I'm a little bit wonky. /////////
Oh, interesting, I'd never heard of that term before.

Sounds a bit like me, only I'd say I'm more demisexual..

I don't really care, I've stopped using labels at this point. I'm naturally attracted to females, can mentally crush on guys, and my sex drive is near nothing. XD; I give up on labels.

Also, I wouldn't call yourself wonky, Victini, what you are has a definition so it's just as normal as other definition that we fall under. -w-
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  #2406    
Old March 3rd, 2012 (02:26 PM).
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Labels make things confusing. Try explaining to a parent that you're a biromantic asexual. Go ahead. Try it. They give you funny looks.
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Old March 3rd, 2012 (03:54 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Scarf:
We don't begrudge you if you had an easy coming out and found acceptance. It's what everyone wants, sure, but if we got mad at you for that we'd be no better than the people who aren't accepting us, you know?
Aww... gosh, I feel better after hearing that.

I hope someday everybody can have that... Not just here, but out there as well. ♥

Quote originally posted by EntwinedSilence:


Oh, interesting, I'd never heard of that term before.

Sounds a bit like me, only I'd say I'm more demisexual..

I don't really care, I've stopped using labels at this point. I'm naturally attracted to females, can mentally crush on guys, and my sex drive is near nothing. XD; I give up on labels.

Also, I wouldn't call yourself wonky, Victini, what you are has a definition so it's just as normal as other definition that we fall under. -w-

I-I don't completely fall under my definition, though... I'm still managing to lean more towards asexual, but not completely so...

It really is terribly confusing. ;////;

I don't think you're "wonky" either... Your explanation I can relate to. ^^ I think it's always nice to know you can relate to somebody else!
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  #2408    
Old March 3rd, 2012 (05:53 PM).
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Quote originally posted by PhantomX0990:
Labels make things confusing. Try explaining to a parent that you're a biromantic asexual. Go ahead. Try it. They give you funny looks.
I almost wish I were a biromantic asexual just so I could try this out haha

Quote originally posted by Scarf:
We don't begrudge you if you had an easy coming out and found acceptance. It's what everyone wants, sure, but if we got mad at you for that we'd be no better than the people who aren't accepting us, you know?
This. I also have some thoughts that are semi-related:

I think the most difficult part of the whole process is coming out to and accepting yourself, and a great deal of the success of coming out to other people is contingent upon that. Of course there are other factors like bigots and parents who want grandchildren etc, but if you can be happy with who you are then I think it decreases the chances of people reacting badly and being happy with who you are allows it not to negatively affect your self-worth if they don't react well; which is incredibly important.

---

ALSO GUYS! There is very little chance any of you are going to care about this, but LGBT rights activist and all-round funnywoman Kathy Griffin IS GETTING HER OWN TALK SHOW!!!! I know this is not huge news but I could seriously not be more excited! Between this and finding out JK Rowling is writing books again, all just seems right with the world.
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  #2409    
Old March 3rd, 2012 (06:05 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
This. I also have some thoughts that are semi-related:

I think the most difficult part of the whole process is coming out to and accepting yourself, and a great deal of the success of coming out to other people is contingent upon that. Of course there are other factors like bigots and parents who want grandchildren etc, but if you can be happy with who you are then I think it decreases the chances of people reacting badly and being happy with who you are allows it not to negatively affect your self-worth if they don't react well; which is incredibly important.
I highly agree with this thought...

It's hard for you to be taken down by other's words if you are satisfied with yourself... if you take no shame, it's hard for what others think to bother you.. I guess that's a part of why no one never tried to with me...

It makes a lot of sense if you really think about it...

Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
ALSO GUYS! There is very little chance any of you are going to care about this, but LGBT rights activist and all-round funnywoman Kathy Griffin IS GETTING HER OWN TALK SHOW!!!! I know this is not huge news but I could seriously not be more excited! Between this and finding out JK Rowling is writing books again, all just seems right with the world.
Oh my goodness! Hooray! Somebody who supports groups like these is getting an opportunity to speak to the world~!

This is definitely a spectacle to behold~. I will certainly tune in for her show. :3 I'm really excited too!!
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  #2410    
Old March 5th, 2012 (07:51 PM).
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Okay, I have a personal and irrational hatred of bisexuals!! lmao (that point is sarcastic for the most part

So, I either get sexual propositions from them (let me mind you they always have girlfriends) or they want to date me and girls too. Also, they all seem to really be just closeted gay guys, because really...if you were attracted to men and women you wouldn't have to go through the issues that gay and transgender people face. Ugh, I am sorry about the rant, I am sure that the bisexual people I have met do not speak for any of you on here, or for the vast majority of bisexual people in general, lol.

So I have a follow-up question...
Why doesn't a bisexual person simply just date those of the opposite sex?
(Why go through all of the issues that gay/trans people face if it could be avoided.)


I guess I am still under the assumption that most "bi" people are gay, as many other people also believe. It may just be a misconception, and it's probably not completely true, but I know it is true for many bisexual individuals.
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  #2411    
Old March 5th, 2012 (08:01 PM).
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^I'm polysexual, which is kind of a branch name from bisexual.

So I'm going to give my personal response to you.

I'm always open to love from anyone. I find myself attracted to guys and girls; sexually and emotionally. I can imagine myself with another male the rest of my life just as much as I can with a girl.
I don't care if there are some issues to face. Love is love, and I don't need gender to put me off.

I can say that I have had male crushes and female crushes. I'm sexually attracted to both genders. I have had girlfriends and boyfriends (Not trying to brag :x ) I'm fine with who I am. If I'm full out gay or full out straight, then so be it. I don't care, I love who I do~
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Old March 5th, 2012 (08:01 PM).
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I think a lot of bisexual people would just opt to date the opposite sex for that very reason; it's easier, and they can escape any issues that being different in this world might bring. But in the end I think it depends on the person they fall for. I've always been of the opinion that if you like boys and girls equally, then it comes down to the person you fall in love with, rather than what's in their pants.

I think the problem for you though is our age. There is a lot of promiscuity and experimentation with younger people, and a lot of the time people just want your body rather than you. I've learned to just enjoy it while I'm young and not worry so much about finding a relationship. If one happens then that's fantastic, but there's plenty of time.
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  #2413    
Old March 5th, 2012 (08:12 PM).
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Well, I feel like that's the same as asking "why doesn't X person date Y person". Why don't you just date Andy, ty? It would make your life so much easier, no more awkwardness of trying to find a date, you wouldn't have to worry about how people saw you since it's online, etc. But you have your reasons for not proposing to Andy right here, right? (inb4 you proposing to Andy) Bisexual the way I see it is just the capacity for attraction to someone of either sex. It doesn't make you more able to control your attraction for one person or another. Maybe you fall for a guy, and then you fall for a girl.

I have to disagree with the idea that they don't have to go through issues as well. I've mentioned before that my sister is bi, and my mom pretty much told her that she thinks bi people are just ****s that want to sleep with everyone so they can't pick a side. She's fine with straight people and fine with gay people but doesn't think bisexual is a real sexuality, just an experimental phase. Then there are people like you that think people who are bi are just people who are too afraid to come out as gay. There's also the people who are afraid to date bisexuals, because they get the misconception of "I can be attracted to both genders so I might leave you for a person of the other gender" from the idea of bisexuality (similar to the age-old question that homophobic people say to gay people of the same gender, "are you attracted to me because you're gay?"). Bisexuals face a lot of issues as well, it's just less visible if they happen to date someone of the opposite sex. I think their advantage comes from the fact that if they are currently with someone of the opposite sex they can easily avoid questions raised unless they tell someone else they're bi, however it's a double-edged sword imo. Bi people dating people of the opposite sex I can imagine might hate the idea of constantly being assumed to be something other than what they are for convenience's sake.
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  #2414    
Old March 5th, 2012 (08:16 PM). Edited March 5th, 2012 by Alice.
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I'm technically bisexual, but I've opted to date only the same sex, not because I find them more attractive physically, but because I'm a bottom because I'm more easily attracted to them emotionally.

I would probably enjoy sex with a girl well enough, but I'm really not afraid of the challenges I would face for being gay, (thus, I usually do refer to myself as gay) so I see no reason to base who I want to date on what everyone else wants. If you're bi, it's because you like both genders, and to pretend that you don't is really no different than a gay person pretending they're straight. Maybe a little bit easier, but still, you're going to want to explore that side of yourself at some point.
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Old March 5th, 2012 (08:31 PM).
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I think what is meant by the lack of issues faced by bisexuals is that the fact that they can date the same sex means that they don't ever really have to come out of the closet if they don't want to, and it would have far less impact on their happiness, if any.
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Old March 5th, 2012 (08:45 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Shining Raichu:
I think what is meant by the lack of issues faced by bisexuals is that the fact that they can date the same sex means that they don't ever really have to come out of the closet if they don't want to, and it would have far less impact on their happiness, if any.
Unless they happened to fall in love with someone of the same sex. Then they get to go through the same thing a closeted gay person does. But they have no issues because they have the ability to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex, although they are currently attracted to someone of the same sex. 0 issues surely.
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  #2417    
Old March 6th, 2012 (12:04 AM).
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I'm not bi, but I would assume being with someone who is more compatible and that you can have a better relationship with would make life easier than some idiots opinions make it harder. Then again, I tend to not care one bit what someone thinks of me, unless they insult my weave or music taste.

Even if I was bi, I couldn't see myself sitting back and not caring about LGBT issues while dating a female and living a more "comfortable" life. I don't think my life would change at all if I was dating a guy rather than a girl.
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  #2418    
Old March 6th, 2012 (09:59 AM).
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For all we know there are tons of bi people out there who do opt for the 'easier' way and date people of the opposite sex. How would we know otherwise?

But if I may stir things up a bit, I've heard stories, read things, talked to people, and sort of have this feeling that a lot of gay guys are just distrustful of bi guys. Men do tend to see sexuality in more absolute terms than women (which may be why more women are accepting of bi and why there are more women who identify as bi) which isn't to say every man does, just that more do. I dunno. Maybe some people unconsciously see it as a bit of a threat to the gay identity, either from the perception that outsiders will assume gay men can be attracted to women or that gay men pretend to be bi because they don't want to embrace their gay-ness in some kind of self-hating psychological thing.

I'm not just pulling this out of my... sleeve. My close friend who is gay says he'd never date a bi guy because he wouldn't be comfortable. I don't judge him (or anyone) for that, but I do think there's some level of misunderstanding or assuming going on when a gay guy doesn't want to date bi guys.
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Old March 6th, 2012 (11:16 AM).
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A lot of gay people won't date people who are bi, just because they feel like the person they're dating could easily fall for someone of the opposite gender. It boils down to being a trust issue, though, because there are certainly bisexuals who can date someone of the same gender, and stay with them for years. -w- If they care about their partner enough, then it's the same as any other relationship, as stable or as risky..
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Old March 6th, 2012 (11:29 AM).
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Quote originally posted by EntwinedSilence:
A lot of gay people won't date people who are bi, just because they feel like the person they're dating could easily fall for someone of the opposite gender. It boils down to being a trust issue, though, because there are certainly bisexuals who can date someone of the same gender, and stay with them for years. -w- If they care about their partner enough, then it's the same as any other relationship, as stable or as risky..
Guess that's the same for any sexuality though, Bisexuals (and often gay men) get categorised as being ****s etc., even though most of them are loving, monogamous people.

Personally I think dating a Bisexual person would have it's issues, for example noticing them check out a girl's breasts might leave a "Well I can't offer that..." kind of thought.

Casually butting in to the thread (no pun intended).
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Old March 6th, 2012 (04:08 PM).
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It isn't even necessarily specific to gay guys. A lot of straight women won't date bisexual men because they are distrustful and see it as basically doubling the chances of being cheated on or because they feel like bisexuality is just a rest stop on the highway to homo. There is a label of promiscuity on bisexual people, even moreso than on the gays. They did an episode of Ally McBeal on this very subject.

However I have a male friend who has only ever dated bisexual women - not by design, that's just coincidentally how it's worked out. He has no problem with it. I think perhaps the idea of your girlfriend cheating on you with another woman is less disturbing to a man than having your boyfriend cheat on you with another man would be to a woman.
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Old March 6th, 2012 (07:42 PM).
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I hope there was no offense; I was just annoyed because yet ANOTHER "bi" guy wanted to... with me the other day, he is engaged to a girl. I guess a lot of what is annoying is the entitlement some people have, whether it's gay or bi; "since you are gay then we can have sex!" Ugh, the whole things irritates me. lol. This type of thing has happened a few times to me. It's like, if you are dating a girl, why is that not enough? Are they really just gay, in SOME cases?

Yeah, I would say I am one of those gay guys that, for whatever reason, just cannot trust a bisexual when it comes to dating. I feel like if I were bi, I would just think it would be sooo much easier to date and fall in love with a girl. I was just wondering why one would choose to seek out other gay or bi men when heterosexual girls are so much easier to casually meet and develop a lasting relationship with. Are most of these bi guys just MORE attracted to men? This brings up another thing, I have totally different perspectives of male and female bisexuals. I think more guys are more attracted to guys and more females are more attracted to males.
I guess I's just be ignorantz. haha
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  #2423    
Old March 7th, 2012 (01:34 AM).
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^Yeah, I see why some people who are bisexual give off a "untrustworthy" view of themselves.

I'm poly/pansexual so it may be different for me. I can see myself loving anyone as long as they love me back. I mean, I do have some personal preferences that might lead me away to not going out with someone, however I would give anyone a chance.


When I say anyone, I mean people within age, and people who are willing to work to fix bad habits of theres.

I don't know~If you want to go into this more; I can go on to skype or msn. C:
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Old March 7th, 2012 (08:19 AM).
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Quote originally posted by -ty-:
I hope there was no offense; I was just annoyed because yet ANOTHER "bi" guy wanted to... with me the other day, he is engaged to a girl. I guess a lot of what is annoying is the entitlement some people have, whether it's gay or bi; "since you are gay then we can have sex!" Ugh, the whole things irritates me. lol. This type of thing has happened a few times to me. It's like, if you are dating a girl, why is that not enough? Are they really just gay, in SOME cases?

Yeah, I would say I am one of those gay guys that, for whatever reason, just cannot trust a bisexual when it comes to dating. I feel like if I were bi, I would just think it would be sooo much easier to date and fall in love with a girl. I was just wondering why one would choose to seek out other gay or bi men when heterosexual girls are so much easier to casually meet and develop a lasting relationship with. Are most of these bi guys just MORE attracted to men? This brings up another thing, I have totally different perspectives of male and female bisexuals. I think more guys are more attracted to guys and more females are more attracted to males.
I guess I's just be ignorantz. haha
I'm gonna take a stab and say the bi guys you've encountered are all mostly young, yes? Lots of young people want to experiment with things and sexuality is gonna be one of them. I wouldn't chalk it up to them being bi. They just happen to be bi. I think it's because they're young and immature. Promiscuity is something that you find in every kind of person, but obviously your being gay means your chances of encountering that with a straight person aren't very high.
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Old March 8th, 2012 (06:27 AM).
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Emile Hersch turned 30 today. Who the hell is Emile Hersch?
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Hey guys, it has taken me HOURS to get this right because I am in no way to be mistaken for a coder, but here is our fancy new club design complete with the list of key terms! I know I've been saying I was gonna do this for months, but now I finally have haha.
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