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  #1    
Old July 21st, 2011, 07:30 AM
Etoire's Avatar
Etoire
Beginning Trainer
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Gender: Male

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Note: This is a story I'm working on for a character I'm playing; I'm not much of a writer, so feel free togive lots of constructive criticism. Here's some shameless advertising for the roleplay: http://goldenrodhs.proboards.com/index.cgi
Hope that's allowed, it's not exactly unrelated.

Thank you, moderators, for the title edit!

This will be a three part "oneshot" story, I think, being that this is an origin story.

On a side note, Etoire starts off by calling it Magik, based off it's name Magikarp. Later when it evolves, Etoire calls it Gyara, closer to it's new form of Gyarados.

Story begin!

Part 1: The Festival of Arceus

“Etty! It’s time to go!” a voice called out. Looking up from his toys, 8 year old Etoire put on a big grin and bounded down the steps excitedly, taking large bounding steps and risking missing a step or two. As expected, nearing the end of the staircase, he tripped over the last step; his eyes widened in horror as the floor came closer to his face until a pair of strong hands plucked him from midair, saving him from a quick bloody nose.

“And where are you going in such a rush? Look at you, falling all over yourself!” a strong but gentle voice admonished. Etoire looked bashful at his dad. He was excited, as to be expected—they were about to go to his favorite festival, the Festival of Arceus. The family always went to the annual festivals, and Etoire was excited to go see the show there.

An older boy popped out from the kitchen and waved erratically at Etoire who was still wriggling around in his dad’s hands. “Hey, Etty, you’re so slow! Go get changed so we can leave!” He was practically bouncing up and down. Etoire grinned at his brother. They were all excited for the festival.

“Dad, where’s mom and sis? I don’t see them…” Etoire looked around the room quizzically. They were nowhere to be found, oddly enough. It was just him hanging limply from his dad's hands, his brother excitedly in the dining room and edging for the door, and his dad standing around.

“They’re waiting outside impatiently, now go! Get!” Etoire’s dad lightly put Etoire down before chasing him upstairs and helping him into his kimono. They were finally ready after a brief struggle with the sash, and the trio walked outside, "walk" being used in a very loose definition. The pair of boys were leapfrogging and doing cartwheels in their excitement, while the father looked bemused by the antics of his two sons. Waiting outside impatiently was Etoire and Brian's sister,Cynthia, who giggled when she saw how crazy her siblings were. Etoire's mother tightly grasped her sons' hands, not letting go of them in fear that they cartwheel into someone. "Silly boys." She smiled and began walking down the road with the struggling masses attached to her arms.

As they looked out to the main street, they heard the festival sounds and cheering and clapping. Etoire and Brian looked at one another before declaring in unison, “We’re late! The show’s begun!” and tearing off down the street, finally free from their imprisonment. Their father chuckled and shook his head before calling out “Be careful and don’t fall!” while their mother raised an eyebrow and clasped her daughter's hand instead. She was decidedly less prone to insane antics, in anycase.

Upon reaching the large crowd assembled before a stage, Etoire and Brian wriggled their way through the crowd until they reached the front where they could see. It was a play retelling the story of Arceus and the creation of the universe. Soon afterwards, their sister joined the fray to the mother's dismay, and they watched the story unfold in front of their eyes, eyes widening and mouth open as the actors performed.

After the show, Etoire’s mom chided her children “Hey, you little rascals. You guys disappeared again! Next time you do that we won’t bring you here. And how was the show?” Brian’s eyes widened as he tried to explain all of what he had seen, making large hand motions and sound effects, bringing a stifled giggle from his siblings that was quickly stopped as he glared grumpily at them. It was a breathtaking experience as always, the three agreed before bouncing off to the booths. Etoire and Cynthia were suddenly picked up by their father “So they don’t run off, little rascals they are” as he unceremoniously walked off with them in tow, one under each arm playing dead, with a large grin on his face while Brian was restrained by their mother.

After the show, the family usually visited the booths, eating and playing games, and so they headed off. Gently, Etoire's father let the two go, and the family slowly strode down the aisle looking at what was around. A handful of new booths and vendors had set up this year, but Etoire was only interested in one.

“Hey, Etoire! How was your year so far?” a comforting old voice called out as he passed by. It was the fishing booth, where people attempted to catch small fish with paper nets. Etoire never managed to catch one, but he loved trying. “Hello grandpa!” Etoire said this out of habit as he bounded towards the fishing booth; he wasn’t really related to the man, but he felt close with him since he always came here.

“I still don't like school, it's boring. I still got into the top 10 though! Are those new fish?” Etoire gasped and jumped up and down, pointing excitedly to what appeared to be a covered tank. He couldn't see what was in it and it didn't make any noise either, but Etoire had never seen it here before. He was sure it was something amazing.

“Ohh, you got me. It’s a secret though. Have you gotten any better?” He smiled and gave Etoire a handful of nets. Excitedly, Etoire quickly went through them all before looking up with a stunned look on his face. “I broke them all again.” he said with a silly look on his face. The old man chuckled when he saw Etoire’s face before taking the broken nets away from him. Etoire was always pretty bad at this game, and this year was no exception.

“Actually, Etoire, aside from your poor fishing skills, I’ve got some news for you. This is my last year coming to this festival; I’m getting old and the distance is too far." The old man tutted as Etoire was about to interrupt with complaints and sorrow. "This year I brought you something special, for always coming every year and making this old man laugh.” The old man walked over to the covered tank and reached in with a small bowl of water before giving it to Etoire. It was a pokemon egg, floating around in the bowl. Etoire looked at the old man in surprise.

“Isn’t that a pokemon egg?!” Etoire was surprised and humbled by this gift. He had seen a lot of pokemon and some trainers had walked into his parents PokeMart carrying eggs, but he never expected to get his own.

“Yes, it is. I’ve been meaning to get you one for a while, since you’re about to turn of age. Now then, that little one may seem like a burden at first, but shower him with love and eventually, you’ll see him for what he truly is.” The old man smiled before sending Etoire off on his way, a knowing twinkle in his eye.

When he had returned to his family with the pokemon egg in the fishbowl, Etoire's siblings oohed and aahed enviously while Etoire proudly showed it off. He wasn't sure what it was, except it was probably a fish. A few days later, when Etoire was staring at the egg wondering what it could be, muttering "Is it a Goldeen? Luvdisc? Oooh, I wonder what it is..." his father called out to him. "Hey, Etty, time for dinner! That's enough staring at the egg, it's not going to hatch just because you're staring at it."

Moments after that remark, suddenly a large glowing light enveloped the egg as it began to crack. Excitedly, Etoire called everyone over, as they all stared into the bowl. A very tiny baby Magikarp came out of the egg moments later, doing a small flourish as it exited the eggshell. Etoire looked quizzically at it--he'd never seen something like this before, none of the trainers had one. Maybe he had something legendary, something amazing! His parents smiled at their son's excitement.

Etoire wasn’t sure what it was, but he decided it would be his first pokemon he’d bring with him on his journey when he turned of age in two years, unaware of the new law prohibiting children under 18 to go on a pokemon journey.

Several months had passed and the Magikarp had grown happily larger. He and Etoire spent the majority of the day together, and Etoire had managed to persuade his parents to renovate the pool in the backyard into a large "aquarium" for the Magikarp. Etoire would often be found inside, horsing around with the Magikarp. His siblings and parents knew that a Magikarp was actually nothing special, but supplied Etoire with all of the interesting facts as to not crush his high hopes for the large fish.
__________________
The Silph Co. Chronicles (Finished)
Character: Raymond Li
Pokemon: Sulli the Absol
Etoire the Gyarados
Jin the Scizor
Sol the Electivire
Aggron the Aggron

Last edited by Etoire; July 22nd, 2011 at 05:15 AM. Reason: changed wording and grammar, story flows a little smoother now.
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  #2    
Old July 21st, 2011, 10:06 AM
Etoire's Avatar
Etoire
Beginning Trainer
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Gender: Male
Part 2: Suddenly Downhill


Etoire sighed glumly. Today was his birthday, yet he was rather depressed as of late. Magikarp had started to act odd lately, losing his cheerful disposition and alternating between being lethargic and suddenly furious, venting it's anger by swimming around. He had never acted like this in the two years he's been with the family, and by now he had turned into a majestic and large Magikarp, though never much of a swimmer. Etoire was rather worried that maybe Magikarp had caught an illness, and tried to comfort it to no avail.

“Hey, Et, the Nurse is here!” his brother’s voice called out. His parents had called over Nurse Joy from the local Pokemon Center to check up on what was wrong with Magikarp, who was also sprouting odd blue patches over it's skin, almost the opposite color of his usual red coat.

“Okay! Got it.” Etoire bounced up from his spot next to the pool, brushed off his knees and ran into the house to show the nurse where they kept the Magikarp.

As he walked, he explained the situation to Nurse Joy, and finally reached the pool. There in the middle of it was Magikarp sitting in the bottom, being rather lethargic and not moving. Hearing Etoire calling him over, the Magikarp slowly made his way to the pools edge, not bothering to splash around like usual.

After a moment’s examination, the somber Joy brightened up and explained to Etoire that Magikarp was in a delicate stage of evolution. “Actually, your Magikarp isn’t sick. If you look closer, the blue patches that have started to grow on him are actually scales. He’s evolving naturally! This is a crucial stage of development, and he mustn’t be bothered. Keep his water clean and feed him as you would normally, he should be done in a few weeks.”

Etoire sighed in relief. He was worried that Magikarp was in pain and sick. This new develpoment was confusing, though; he had read about what evolution was in school, and played the games based off Pokemon, but he thought it was supposed to happen quickly, not slowly.

"On the other hand, if when I played Pokemon Red, my Charmander took ages to evolve, that wouldn't be a fun game." Etoire reasoned out as he patted Magik on the head. Etoire also had read about many different situations and ways a pokemon could evolve, and this was probably a natural evolution.

“Etoire, Brian, Cynthia, we’re home!” a voice called out. It was their parents, home from work. Etoire ran over to greet them with the news that Joy had told him, relief growing in their eyes. Etoire loved that Magikarp dearly and would have been crushed if he had died.

Two weeks later, Etoire was watching Magikarp glumly by the poolside. He had lengthened drastically and almost all of his scales had changed colors, its face slowly transforming from it's normal happy-go-lucky dopey look to a more intelligent, fearsome look.

“Hey, Magik. Are you done yet?” Etoire complained lazily. In the last few weeks, Etoire had buried himself in books about Magikarp and their evolution, as well as books on evolution in general. He was pretty sure that Magik should have finished by now, and he'd read of how Gyarados's could fly and live outside of water. Etoire wanted to go on an adventure, but his parent's had told him about the new law, much to his dismay. He had thrown a large tantrum before sulkily accepting that his parent's couldn't let him go even if they wanted to.

A few moments later, in reply to Etoire’s question, the Gyarados/Magikarp flicked its wide tail lazily at him, sending a small wave over the side of the pool and onto him. “Hey!” Etoire laughed as he spluttered, the water dripping off his face. “Geez.”

That day would be imprinted in everyone's mind for a long time.

After finishing dinner with his parents and siblings, excitedly chattering about school and work, they suddenly heard a loud breaking noise coming from their yard where Magik laid, resting lazily. Etoire was the first one out of his seat, sprinting to the door and running out before freezing in fear. His family soon joined him, the same reaction showing on his siblings face while his father's features hardened.

A large, angry feral pokemon was situated in front of their now broken fence, growling angrily at the family. It wasn't native to the region, and didn't appear to be very happy. It's gleaming white fur was marred by splinters of wood from their broken fence, and it waved it's claws around in a show of superiority before settling down and trashing random objects nearby.

“Vigoroth... it must have broken out of the zoo nearby,” his father breathed softly as he explained. “I left my pokeballs inside, and I don’t think it’s going to let us go anytime soon.” he swore softly.

Glancing worriedly at the pool, Etoire breathed a sigh of relief as the Vigoroth had not noticed Magik sleepily lying on the floor of the pool. His grip relaxed, and he let go of a fork he hadn't realized he was holding onto. It took less than a split second for him to realize what a bad idea that was.

The sudden tinkling noise from the fork hitting the floor caused the Vigoroth to look over at the family, and realize that they weren't inanimate objects. The Vigoroth ran towards the family, anger at being disturbed showing in it's eyes. Etoire's father stood firm against the pokemon, and swung his fist towards the pokemon's face; barely slowed, it threw him aside angrily, shouting angrily at him. Etoire's father hit the fence with a loud thud, stunned momentarily by the impact. Noting that the man had stopped moving and was no significant risk, the Vigoroth raised it's arm, ready to dispatch the disturbance. Etoire's mother screamed and curled up over the children, hoping to protect them even if it meant her own sacrifice.

What happened next had occurred in an instant. Hearing the distress above water, Magik has surfaced in time to see the Vigoroth throw Etoire’s dad to the side like a child throwing an angry tantrum. At first, he felt confusion; what was happening? What was that white pokemon? It's mind was moving rather sluggishly while taking in the images.

Suddenly, a scream pierced the air as the Vigoroth raised its arm, about to Slash downwards. Sensing the danger, Magikarp felt himself dart forward, rage enveloping him as he realized the peril his loved ones were in. His evolution completed in an instant, and he clamped his new fangs down on the Vigoroth’s arm and pulled the assaulter into the water.

The Vigoroth was surprised by the new assaulter, whose large face glared at him from above. The Vigoroth struggled and tried to escape in defiance, his claws on his other arm reaching in to scratch the Gyarados's face. Flinching backwards, the Gyarados reared up and roared, it's Intimidation kicking in as the Vigoroth shrank backwards.

Darting forwards again, Gyara bit down on the Vigoroth's injured arm again and pulled it into the pool, the Vigoroth struggling against the force to no avail. Furiously, the Vigoroth unleashed his claws as it tried to slash through the muscular body that now enveloped him that threatened to choke his breath away from him. Slowly, Gyarados tightened it's hold around the Vigoroth, a solid unflinching mass even as the Vigoroth cut away at his body. He would protect Etoire and his family, even if it cost him his life, Gyara had decided.

Finally, all was silent as the thrashing underwater had finished, blood pooling onto the surface as an unmoving mass slowly floated upwards. Slowly, Gyara had surfaced, rresting it's head on the poolside while sleepily looking at Etoire.
Everyone was silent, hugging each other in fear. Etoire’s dad had gotten back up and began to comfort his family, and everyone watched the Gyarados in fear as it glanced at them. Several deep gouges were leaking blood from all over the Gyarados as it slowly lost conciousness.

"No, no, no, no..." Etoire was shaking in a curled up ball, covering his head until the sounds had gone away. He looked up to see that Magik had been hurt badly, blood leaking from several long slash marks, and the sight sent more fear and pain through him: Magik was hurt. He ran over to the Gyarados and patted his head like Etoire always had when he was a Gyarados, and quickly fished out Gyarados's ball from his pocket, snot and tears streaming down his face as he tried to reassure his pokemon that it was okay.

A red beam of light struck the large water pokemon as Etoire started to sprint on wobbly legs, falling several times before even making it out of the house. Determined to bring Gyarados to the Pokemon Center, Etoire wiped his tears away from his eyes and ran like he had never before. By then, Gyarados had fainted from the pain and lay there unmoving in the ball as Etoire ran down the streets, cars honking as he barreled through traffic without care.

Upon reaching the Pokemon Center, Etoire limped towards the counter and handed the ball to a surprised Nurse Joy, muttering "Please... help him." and collapsing. A group of concerned faces flickered in front of his eyes before he blacked out completely.
__________________
The Silph Co. Chronicles (Finished)
Character: Raymond Li
Pokemon: Sulli the Absol
Etoire the Gyarados
Jin the Scizor
Sol the Electivire
Aggron the Aggron

Last edited by Etoire; July 22nd, 2011 at 05:57 AM. Reason: Changed ending. Tell me what you think of the new one.
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