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  #1    
Old July 24th, 2011, 10:02 AM
Moltres Rider
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I wrote a story involving Justin (self), a Reshiram, & a Zekrom, about merging the Reshiram Club & the Zekrom Club... I don't have a name yet, if you can give me some ideas for a name would be helpful... also tell me how you like it... and don't complain about the lack of capitalizations in some places and other goofs, I am not a professional writer... I took Mizan de la Plume Kuro's & Dagzar's advice and used MSWord to fix all mistakes that I missed





Last edited by Moltres Rider; July 24th, 2011 at 04:11 PM. Reason: Fixed 2 typos from attached (thanks sis)
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  #2    
Old July 24th, 2011, 12:20 PM
Mizan de la Plume Kuro's Avatar
Mizan de la Plume Kuro
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I uhh... I... there's just so many things that I need to point out here that it's not even funny.

Starting with your question in the rules thread.
Quote:
I have a question, I proofread and corrected my mistakes... then I uploaded it, then I find 2 more later (after printing it out)(my sis noticed one) after I uploaded it how do I go about replacing the original .txt file with the corrected one?
First off, this is quite a short story (nothing wrong with that), but you might want to avoid printing it out just to proofread it. I only say this because it's a waste of ink and paper and I myself am in the poorer classes of people, so I avoid printing out things when not necessary, even if I find reading on paper easier than reading on screen. I just thought I'd tell you this, nothing to do with the fic at all, just some eco-advice.

Next, instead of using notepad to write your story, consider using a word processing software like MS Word. Or, if you don't have that, download Open Office which is free. If you don't even want to use that, I'm sure there are plenty of other online spellcheckers and word processors. The point I'm trying to make here is that notepad won't help very much in finding your grammar and or punctuation mistakes because it's a bare bones text editor.

Quote:
complain about the lack of capitalizations in some places and other goofs, I am not a professional writer...
Thirdly, this is an excuse a lot of writers give, but we actually do have to care about capitalizations and goofs. To paraphrase those in the business, if you don't care about your own writing enough to not fix any mistakes, why should your reader care about reading it either? Meaning that since you're posting it for people to read and enjoy, which is the goal of many writers who post their work online, then it's a good idea to polish up your work before showing it to people. Also, a lot of us here are not professional writers either, at least as far as I'm aware, but we do try to keep our work to acceptable standards.

Finally, you don't need to attach the story as a .txt file. You can copy and paste the story into the post; that way we don't have to download it to be able to read it.
I'm sure you'll get more reviews that way, if any. It's easier for people and it's just common courtesy.

Good luck in your writing endeavors, and I'll review the story if I have time in the future, and if you just post it into the thread.
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  #3    
Old July 24th, 2011, 12:29 PM
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You shouldn't be attaching your story to your post. Just copy and paste your story straight into your message.

While I haven't read your story since I don't download files on forums, I will tell you now that people are going to complain about the lack of capitilization and punctuation if they see it. It doesn't matter if you're not a professional writer, none of us are, but if you're posting on a forum, we expect you to put effort into the stories you're showing off. If you don't care enough about your story to use proper punctuation, then why should we?

And I'm not trying to be mean, I just wanted to let you know.

EDIT: Ninja'd by Mizan. D:
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Last edited by Dagzar; July 24th, 2011 at 12:30 PM. Reason: Ninja'd.
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  #4    
Old July 24th, 2011, 03:01 PM
Moltres Rider
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I'll see what I can do, I do have MSWord, but I just don't like the fact that it doesn't like Pokemon names, I use MSWord a lot, but I use notepad for all stories (especially if it has unique names like Pokemon names), I like the formatting better in notepad and don't have to worry about page separation... It makes me feel like I have more control, without all these fancy dancy formatting options... but I do use MSWord for all song lyric creations and other things...
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Old July 24th, 2011, 03:08 PM
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While MSWord does always highlight Pokemon names in red, just right click the word and you should get the option of 'Add to Dictionary' and MSWord will recognize it from now on. It's very fast and simple. I find MSWord does take time to get used to, especially depending on what version you get. I recently got MSWord 2010 and it now automatically double spaces my paragraphs which is very annoying, let me tell you. But you'll get used to it, trust me.
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  #6    
Old July 24th, 2011, 03:58 PM
Moltres Rider
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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I imported to word just to do spelling and grammar check, plus to fix all capitalization issues. here is the fully corrected story





--8PM at the Reshiram Club in a metropolitan city...

"This meeting is adjourned." the head Reshiram of the Reshiram Club says, she continues, "Justin, can you stay after? I want to speak with you." "Sure!" Justin replies.

After all the Reshirams leave, Justin & the head Reshiram talk. "What is it, Reshiram?" Justin asks. "Since you are one of our best valued members of the Reshiram club here, we want you to be a part of our next big plan. We’ll talk about our plans tomorrow and I'll fill you in then. Meet me at the green mansion by the big lake at 1PM tomorrow here is the address. Go to the 3rd floor, third room on the left and I'll be there" Reshiram explains to Justin. "You may leave now"

Justin exits the club and gets on his Moltres and rides his Moltres home. Upon arriving, he wonders what the big plan is for the Reshiram club. And then goes to bed.

--The next day, 30 minutes after noon.

Justin rides his Moltres to the green mansion and arrives right on schedule. He goes to the room that Reshiram told him to go to. He sees the Reshiram; she is talking to a Zekrom.

Justin speaks, "hey! I he..." Justin was interrupted by Zekrom, Zekrom yells, "An intruder! Bolt Strike!" "Zekrom!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Reshiram yells. But it was too late, the attack was initiated and it hit Justin, Justin was knocked out!

"That was our best valued member of the Reshiram Club, he was going to join us in the discussion of the merging of the Reshiram Club and the Zekrom Club, now look what you have done!!" Reshiram explains to Zekrom, Zekrom apologizes, "Sorry!!!"

"We still have time, Zekrom, hurry to the large kitchen and grab a revive from the fridge" Reshiram commanded, "Will it work on a human?" Zekrom asks. Reshiram replies, "Yes! I've done this before"

Zekrom runs and grabs the revive and uses it on Justin, Justin slowly wakes up. Zekrom speaks to Justin, "I am so sorry, we have been getting a lot of attackers lately!" Reshiram asks, "Are you OK?" Justin says in a slurred voice, "I feel woozy, weak, and a lot of pain" Reshiram says to Justin, "yeah, you definitely took a beating, this is Bolt Strike, we're talking about, and it was a direct hit!, you'll be out of commission for a few days, you need some rest"

Reshiram and Zekrom take Justin to the luxury bedroom and puts him in the bed. "We’ll take turns watching over you until you recover, but Zekrom and I need to talk, I'll be back in 30 minutes" Reshiram says to Justin.

Reshiram and Zekrom go into another room, "this will delay our meeting for a few days" Reshiram says to Zekrom. "Yes, definitely. I hope this won't jeopardize our merging plans!" Zekrom replied. "Justin might protest it now!"

Reshiram returns to the room Justin is in. "I am the first to watch over you." Reshiram says to Justin. "Can you call the city's Pokemon center where I work and tell them that I won't be in for a few days?" Justin says back. "Sure!" Reshiram replies.

Reshiram calls the Pokemon Center. "Hello this is the city Pokemon center, how may I help you? The lady on the phone says. "I am calling to inform you that one of your employees, Justin Coolidge got attacked by a strong Pokemon attack and will not be able to come in to work for a few days." Reshiram says to the lady on the phone. "Oh I'm sorry to hear, he was the best! Business is usually up when he works! Not too many men are good at healing Pokemon like he is! Thanks for letting me know"

Reshiram watches over Justin for the remainder of the day. The next day Zekrom watches over Justin. Zekrom speaks with comforting words to Justin, to keep him comfortable until the next day when Reshiram watches over Justin until 5PM "Zekrom is going to watch over you for the rest of the day, I need to run the Reshiram Club today." Zekrom comes in and Reshiram returns to the Club.

--at the Reshiram Club

Reshiram speaks at the club "I am sorry to inform all of you that Justin our valued only human member is sick after being hit by a strong Pokemon attack. we will have a moment of silence ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Keep Justin in your thoughts and prayers, now to official business." the meeting continues until 8PM.

For the next few days, Reshiram and Zekrom take turns watching over Justin. Justin gets up during Zekrom's turn of watching. "Seems like you're all better now! Can I get you anything?" Zekrom asks "coffee and a bagel." Justin replies. "I am so sorry for what I've done, I want to make it up to you, here is a check for $5000, courtesy of the Zekrom Club for all your trouble." Zekrom says back.

Justin and Zekrom walk to the master living room and meet Reshiram in the room. "I see you've recovered from the Bolt Strike attack." Reshiram says to Justin. Justin replies, "I bet I would have had better luck surviving Fusion Flare." "How so?" Reshiram asks. "I ride Moltres for transportation. I've been riding Moltres for 10 years! I am around fire all the time!" Justin explains. "My Fusion Flare is more powerful than any fire of Moltres's. Don’t take any chances." Reshiram said back

"We’ll do this discussion we were originally going to do several days ago at 6PM today. You in, Justin? Reshiram asks. "Yes! As long as Zekrom doesn't Bolt Strike me again when I walk into the room!" Justin says. Reshiram & Zekrom say together, "I don't think you'll have that problem."

--6PM in the same room as before, third floor, third room on the left.

Reshiram opens the discussion with the following words "We were talking about combining the Reshiram Club with the Zekrom club, merging them together. Do you like that idea, Justin?" Justin replies with "yeah, I'm OK with it." Zekrom says next, "I was really worried you wouldn't want that after what I did." Justin says to Zekrom, "well, I believe in forgiveness." the discussion continues for a few hours and a decision was made to merge the clubs into one.

Reshiram says, "All we need is a name now." Justin floats the idea, "how about the ReshiramZekrom club" "good" Reshiram replies "anything else?" Zekrom says, "why not the other way around, ZekromReshiram." Justin says, "maybe, but I think ReshiramZekrom has more of a ring to it." Zekrom thinks about it for a moment then says, "Yeah it does, I like that, The ReshiramZekrom Club" after another half and hour discussion, it was agreed upon that after the merge, the club name will be The ReshiramZekrom Club."

The next day, both clubs had meetings simultaneously at their own original locations, the first time for that to ever occur. Both clubs made the announcement. Within 4 months, both clubs were fully merged into one and The ReshiramZekrom Club was born. Both locations were used, they just had two branches. both locations for there on out, had both Reshirams and Zekroms at the club during meetings, get togethers, and other fun activities" Justin himself went back and forth between the two locations, although one was a greater distance than the other, Justin still had his trusty Moltres to get there." and the club lives on!!

THE END

Last edited by Moltres Rider; July 24th, 2011 at 04:08 PM.
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