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  #1    
Old September 13th, 2011 (04:26 AM).
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IanDonyer IanDonyer is offline
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The Second War

Prologue: Watching from afar

The ancient War of the Magi... When its flames at last receded, only the charred husk of a world remained.

Snow hit the rough, jagged side of the mountains with a soft touch, dousing their normally gray tint in a deep white that was one of the very few beauties left in this torn and broken world.

Even the power of magic was lost. In the thousand years that followed, iron, gunpowder, and steam engines took the place of magic, and life slowly returned to the barren land.

Ever since that cursed war, nothing was truly natural anymore. Even the grass that grew in small patches across the world was somewhat forced: growth hormones added to natural seeds and planted into the ground. It refused to flourish. The only thing left to flourish were the people, who took their hands and bent the world into an industrialized giant: guns, steam-powered boats, and the true usage of iron served as their hammers, defending them against the monsters that roamed outside of their cities.

Yet there now stands one who would reawaken the magic of ages past, and use its dread power as a means by which to conquer all the world.

Mog let his feet dangle off of the cliff's edge, watching the hulking pieces of metal carrying these fleshy giants trudge through the snow, iron feet crunching and voices screaming over the howl of the wind. He grinned softly, his spear in hand.

Could anyone truly be foolish enough to repeat that mistake?

"This oughta be fun," he told himself.
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Old September 13th, 2011 (04:41 AM).
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I enjoyed the prologue - it's one of the first fanfic's I've read in a while, and it did not let me down.

I've never really indulged in the FF series, but hopefully that won't alter my enjoyment of what's yet to come. I am also really enjoying your use of descriptive words - they add a layer of professionalism that I really appreciate. And, as I expected, there are no grammar mistakes that I have found.

I can't wait for the next installment, could you please notify me by VM :) ?
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Old September 13th, 2011 (06:18 AM).
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Final Fantasy Vi is one of my favorite games, so I am excited to see what you do with this.

May I be notified of new episodes?
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Old September 13th, 2011 (06:31 AM). Edited September 13th, 2011 by IanDonyer.
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Rather unexpected.

Well, thank you two. Glad you like it so far. I'll definitely be sure to notify you two once the first chapter comes out, but that may take a while - my access to a computer is limited to during school hours. As for you Impo, I'd suggest playing the games - at the very least, FFVI. It is one of my, if not my number one, favorite games of all time.

Thanks again!
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Old September 13th, 2011 (08:52 AM).
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A Final Fantasy VI fic here? Ian, you're amazing!

I also like your descriptive words of how industry took over.

And hee. Mog.

Looking forward to more! And now you have me wanting to play that game.
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Old September 15th, 2011 (03:56 AM).
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The Second War

Chapter One: Storming through the Snow

"Question for ya, Wedge," the soldier said, glancing behind him, his black-gloved hand slipping up into his light brown helmet (they had to make them wear loose clothing like this into the only cold place left in the word) to scratch at a small itch on his lower forehead. "Why did we have to bring her along again?"

"Because we're dealing with a very important mission, Biggs," Wedge responded. "We want as much security as possible."

The two soldiers sat around the campfire, embracing themselves and shivering. Even with the fire, lit through magical energy, the two longed for the climate of their home, the south Imperial Capital, Vector. The white, flaky substance in the air around them was unfamiliar and agonizing, pelting them until their already bad moods were worse ones.

"Aye, I know," he muttered, "but it still makes me nervous. I heard she fried fifty of our best soldiers in three minutes." A shaky laugh. "I'd almost rather be with Kefka."

"Eh," Wedge started, looking at the sleepping form next to them. He was rather jealous of her: she looked so peaceful, her petite form draped in the rare red cloth robe that told the world that the wearer was a female court mage, her hood down to show the locks of blonde hair draped down over her shoulders. Her green shoulder guards dug into the ground, crunching in further as she shivered slightly: but the soldier personally doubted it was anything but the wind. The snow itself seemed to avoid her. "At least she has the slave crown. She won't breathe unless we tell her to. Kefka would fry us if we tried to breath without him telling us to."
Another laugh, his partner beginning to stand. A soft crack echoed through his ears over the howling wind, as the hulking piece of machinery closeby started to move in sync with its owner.

"Biggs, ya forgot 'ta turn off the sync. Nice one."

"Shut up," Biggs said, before making a quick leap up. His foot connected to the side of the metallic behemoth, and he used that leverage to finish his movement and land comfortably in the leather seat.

"Someone's eager. Gonna leave me to wake up the girl, huh?" Wedge shrugged. He was the leader of their little group anyway, he supposed, but even he felt a small tinge of nervousness around the famous slave of the Empire - the girl who would bring the empire to glory. He walked over to her form and gently shook her on the side. "Oi, it's time to get up."
The girl quickly scrambled up to her feet, nodding dutifully.

"Uh-huh!" she said.

"Into the armor. We're heading off to Narshe."

The girl walked over to her own armor - a special edition one, lucky for her. It had two large cannons on its arms rather than the iron claws that the normal ones had, allowing it more techniques. Like she wasn't already strong enough - and climbed in. Wedge did the same to his own.

And off they went, trudging through the snow and cruel, battering winds with only one objective on their mind: life, and probably not in the sense of the word most people would think. A grin crossed Wedge's lips.




At the gates of the small mining town Narshe, a young man dressed in a drab gray robe, covering all but his piercing black eyes. He sighed, leaning up against the walls of the town.

"Lord knows," he muttered, "that this is one of the most boring jobs in the world."

"Better than watching paint dry, Jek," the man opposite him noted.

"This is true." Jek shrugged. "But Zek, don't you wish we had something more exciting? I can't stand sitting around and doing nothing."

"Quit then," Zek said.

"You know I can't."

Zek grunted, obviously a tad bit annoyed. "Then be quiet and do your job."

Jek sighed and nodded. Isn't like it requires THAT much effort... nothing exciting ever happens around here.

And at that moment, Jek got proved quite wrong.

He heard Zek draw in a quick breath, standing upright. Jek joined in, looking toward him with concern in his eyes, drawing his weapon.

"Be alert," Zek said. "We have company."

Three hulking masses of machinery trudged toward the gates of Narshe, sending shivers down the spine of the young guard Jek- he recognized these monsters, even from the distance they were coming from.

"Magitek Armor!?" Jek whispered. "What in all holy hell is the Empire doing here?"

"I don't know," Zek said, "but it can't be good."

After about three minutes or so (Jek counted in his head, a nervous tic), the three suits of armor approached the gates of Narshe. Two soldiers, dressed in typical Imperial garb, sat in one of their own suits - a third held an oddly dressed girl, her eyes devoid of any sort of emotion. She gave Jek an odd mix of comfort and of fear.

"What does the Empire want with Narshe!?" Jek blurted, and Zek glared at him - he had probably intended to take a calmer route through the ordeal, but Jek knew that the Empire never really listened to the word "calm".


Wedge felt an odd sense of pleasure, staring down at the guard who held his gaze with wide eyes, his voice full of fear.

"The Empire fears Narshe may be hiding something... important to us."

The other guard, oddly much more calm, approached him and shook his head. "The only secret Narshe harbors is that there's maybe a small water deposit in our mines. We still haven't found the source yet, though." He shrugged. "Is that all? Sorry to disappoint you."

"And the Esper?"

The guard was noticeably taken aback.

"Espers no longer exist in our world. You know the way the legend works."

"After the War of the Magi, Espers built their own world, saying that we and them are incompatible. Right?" Biggs said.

"Right," the calm-yet-now-somewhat-frightened-as-well-guard said.

"That's exactly it."

"But what of those who were frozen? Cryogenically, I think the term is, alive?" Wedge asked.

"...Nonsense!" the originally-frightened-guard blurted.

Wedge raised his hand, the claws of the Magitek Armor raising as well. It was the beauty of the sync function - made things so much easier.

"Fry 'em," Wedge said, "in exactly ten seconds if they don't decide to speak."

The girl raised her arm, cannon raising as well- a small orb of bright red energy fell out of its circular opening, glowing, steadily increasing in size.

"Ten... nine..."

The guards stood still, until the seven hit, where the originally-calm guard raised his weapon.

"It's in the mines!" the frightened one exclaimed.

"Jek, you idiot!" the originally-calm exclaimed.

"Good," Wedge said. "You may go now. I doubt it'd do you traitors any good to go back into Narshe now, huh?"

A barking laugh issued itself from Biggs' throat. "Try heading on down to Figaro. Maybe old Edgar'll give ya a job!"

The frightened guard - "Jek" - turned tail and got the hell out of dodge, just as suggested. Letting loose a howl of frustration, his friend followed.

"...Well, then! Off to the mines, hrm?" Biggs asked.

"Aye. Off to the mines."

The two treked through the streets of Narshe, the girl in lead: she was the fastest, and when it came to battle, she was an expert user of the armor, much better than either Biggs or Wedge. But battle was the only thing she could think in, though - with everything else, including identification of who her enemies were, she had to be told.

Eventually, they reached the mines, after pushing through a few unfortunate soldiers - guards, dedicated toward protecting their city. Foolishly so. They had all been turned to ash.

The inside of the mines were dark and damp, giving Wedge a cold, chilled feeling, settling deep in his bones - different from the frigid temperatures of the area simply because it went past the level of skin. They were relatively unexciting, though, until the trio reached a gate, placed down as if in defense of the three imperial warriors invading the town. Biggs stepped forward.

"Eh, stand back," he said. "I'll take care of this."

Grawwwkkk...

Wedge was not all that intimidated, but Biggs was grinning from ear to ear - he would let his partner have his fun. He watched as the man stood, raising his arm and forming his fingers into a claw-like stance: the armor's posture straightened, its actual claws curling into a metallic fist. Biggs let loose a war-cry, deep from his throat, and rushed forward. With a single swipe, the iron frame crashed down to the ground with a loud boom.

"Alright," Wedge said, shrugging. Biggs stepped back, nodding.

"Let's go!" Biggs exclaimed, but before they could even make their first step, another guard came forth- this time, he had company.

It was unlike anything Biggs had ever seen before, it seemed- he could hear it in the surprised gasp that his partner issued. But Wedge recognized it almost immediately, and knew that they were in trouble.

Grawwwkkk!

"Oh... sh-"

"You recognize this thing?" Biggs asked.

"Ymir, defend the mines!"

It was about twice the size of each individual suit of armor: its body covered in a thin casing of yellow slime. Its back was covered by a large purple shell, crackling with yellow energy. Wedge closed his eyes and let loose a grunt.

They were in for one hell of a fight.



Author's Note: I admit, a tad bit short, but next chapter leads into much more interesting events - at least in my opinion. I found this one rather boring to write, and admittedly, it feels... lacking. Either way, expect longer and better written Chapter Two to be released sometime next week, depending on when I can get a steady net connection back. ~_^
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Old September 15th, 2011 (10:33 AM).
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You updated! And you gave more life to Biggs and Wedge, whom I always felt just a little bad for in the beginning of the game. I also like the added information to the Magitek Armor, with the synchronization.

Found one little mishap.

Quote:
It had two large cannons on its arms rather than the iron claws that the normal ones had, allowing it more techniques. Like she wasn't already strong enough - and climbed in.
I feel as though you should have a dash after "techniques" so that this is all one sentence. It just reads better that way.

I do like where this chapter ends, with that cliff-hanger and them about to fight Ymir. I like your chapter endings, since they end with a character thinking of a reaction to future events, and it makes the reader want to read on to find out just what could cause those reactions.

So yeah. Don't worry about your chapter lengths.
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