Welcome to the Beta Place, the 3rd version of the original thread! Here, one can apply to be a beta reader - someone who reads a story before it is submitted to the Internet - or apply to get a beta reader for their fic. This system will hopefully make things easier for people willing to help others with their fic, or people who want help with their fic - whether if it's for another set of eyes to proofread, or major improvements in their fic.
All previous Beta Readers will need to reapply, given nobody on it was active with beta reading. It is a relaunch after all! If you are willing to offer your services and have the time for it please apply.
RULES: beyond the standard forum-wide and FF&W rules:
All contact between beta readers and their 'clients' should be through PM and/or email, NOT in the thread. Yes, this goes for people asking someone to be their beta reader and vice versa. This is merely a place of reference, and for applying/submitting applications.
Emphasis on no spamming. This goes for 'thank you' posts - there's no need for them here.
Don’t apply unless you’re serious about the story or being a beta-reader. By ‘serious’ I mean you’ve thought about it, you know where it’s going and/or know you’re going to stick with it. Taking breaks from time to time is perfectly fine - but be sure to notify us about that to change your status if so.
Astinus and I have the right to refuse your submission to be a beta reader, if we think you may not be up to standard. We want people we are sure will help out others, not people who will do a limited job.
If you were waiting for a beta reader and got one, or you want to update your status, tell me and I'll update it here.
Beta readers have the right to refuse to beta a story if they have a reason for it. If said reason is they don't have time to take any more stories, they should however tell myself or Astinus via PM about it, so we can update your information here.
So, stick to those rules, people, or risk the wrath of those Sentret with flamethrowers by your window.
General advice as well:
This thread is about guidance, so if you disagree with your mentor you can bring it up with them. Just be polite about it; remember, they are just trying to help you.
It is advisable to read over your work BEFORE you hand it over to the beta reader. Beta readers aren't a spell and grammar check, but real people (gasp!), so keep that in mind. In other words - don't hand in something that hasn't been run through a proof-read by yourself and a simple spell check to pick up on the simple mistakes (after all, that's what a spell check is for anyway) - Beta Readers want to be able to read your work without going mad.
Be patient. Beta readers have to take the time to help, so don’t pester them about when they’ll be done with your chapter. That said, if it’s been two weeks or something and you haven’t heard a word, then feel free to give them a poke.
If you know that you'll be unable to get a beta back in the near future for whatever reason, let your client know!.
To be clear, you CAN be a beta reader and also apply for one with your story as well. We're not all perfect.
Non-Pokemon stories or even original writings are perfectly fine - just be sure to mention that in your submission, is all.
Now that's over with, here we go with the applications. First, to be a beta reader. These are both for people to see your style of beta reading and all that jazz, and Astinus and I to see if you are acceptable or not.
BETA READERS:
Category: Genre: Preferred method of contact: Examples of writing: Examples of reviews/beta-reports: Strengths/weaknesses (optional):
Now, for what each one means... PLEASE READ!
Spoiler:
Category - what type of beta reader you are. Here are the list of what you can choose from:
Comprehensive - basically, everything and anything on fanfiction
Character
Plot
Language
Grammar
Proof-reading - just another set of eyes to look over the work.
You can have multiple types for category as well.
Genre - what genre or type of story are you best in? Tragedy? OT fics?
Preferred method of contact - PM or e-mail - if the latter, specify your e-mail too, for obvious reasons.
Examples of writing - here, insert links or quotes of your writing - AT LEAST TWO! You can have more as well. Also, a short paragraph or the such does not count as an example. Show us what you can do, and also the people wanting a beta reader as well. A scene will do, but don't hesitate in linking to an entire story if you choose to. If you haven't actually written anything - no problems there, just say so - we are more concerned over your ability with the next one...
Examples of reviews/beta-reports: - same as before, link (or spoiler-fy) preferable here - but this time AT THE VERY LEAST TWO examples of reviews or beta reports. Here, Astinus and I can see how well you can beta or, if you have no examples handy, review. This will also show those clients how well you can do your job as well. This is a necessary part of your application.
Strengths/weaknesses (optional): optional unlike the others, but here you can add in what your strengths and weaknesses are in writing and/or beta-reading. This is more beneficial for the clients who can see your strengths and weaknesses if they can't decide between two beta readers.
Ok, now, to be a client. If you look at the list and already know who you want, and you contact them outside this thread, no worries. However, if you are undecided or want people to know you need a beta reader, use this application which should give the necessary information a beta reader may be interested in.
CLIENTS:
Title of Story: Fandom: Plot summary: Genre: Rating (PG, R, etc): Type of mentor needed: Writing sample of story: Other: (such as, how long you've been writing for, what you think your strengths and weaknesses in writing are - optional)
Fandom refers to, for example, Pokemon, or others such as, say, Digimon.
Genre - type of story - horror, Original Trainer, etc.
Type of mentor needed - refers to the category section - do you want a Comprehensive beta reader, or a Proofreader, and so forth.
Writing sample - please include at least a few paragraphs of the story you want beta-reading.
So remember, post to apply to be a beta reader, or a client (unless you know who you want to contact here, of course). Communicate between yourselves then via PM or E-mail, and then notify me so I can update your status.
Get posting people! MORE NEW BETA READERS NEEDED!
CURRENT LIST OF BETA READERS:
Comprehensive Beta Readers: [Mentors who are pretty good at all aspects of fiction. Best for very new writers or anyone in need of general help.]
psyanic - Also a Language Beta Reader/Proofreader Preferred method of contact: PM/VM Read more here
Character Beta Readers:
[Mentors skilled in character portrayal and development.] PhantomX0990 Preferred method of contact: PM Read more here
Plot Beta Readers: [Mentors who can help with the development of plot twists, the story climax, and other problems with the storyline.]
Grammar Beta Readers: [Mentors who can help with ironing out those pesky grammatical errors.] PhantomX0990 Preferred method of contact: PM Read more here
Language Beta Readers: [Mentors who can help with the fine-tuning of language, including things such as description and dialogue.] PhantomX0990 Preferred method of contact: PM Read more here
psyanic - Also a Comprehensive Beta Reader/Proofreader Preferred method of contact: PM/VM Read more here
Proofreaders: [For the more experienced writers who need a second set of eyes and to offer a second opinion - usually aim to give a general overview of a work, but may focus on aspects the author particularly wants an opinion on or which they specialise in.]
psyanic - Also a Comprehensive/Language Beta Reader Preferred method of contact: PM/VM Read more here
DForte Title of Story: The Blacklist Fandom: Pokémon Plot summary: A trainer has his pokémon killed and is looking to avenge them Genre: Undecided Rating: PG Type of mentor needed: Proofreader, Language. Writing sample of story: Archer sends out three Nidokings in front of Blastoise, Magmortar and Electivire. As they are getting up, Archer orders the Nidokings to use Horn Drill. The horn drills pierce through all three pokémon, thus killing them.
Mockingjay Title of Story: Pokemon: Explorers of the Shining Dawn Fandom: Pokemon Plot summary: "Celia" the Eevee influences the minds and thoughts of various Pokemon in the Pokemon world as she tries to save them all. Genre: Mystery Dungeon Rating: K+ ! (10 year olds?) Type of mentor needed: ANY. Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
What was I to do? State the plain truth and face execution?
Spoiler:
It was safer and easier to do when the pieces weren't in full view. I knew what this meant; I had to lie to whoever I met. How many feelings would be hurt? I'd rather hurt feelings than risk lives. They say that lying isn't a good thing. However, I like to think of it as "playing pretend," and this specific round of "pretend" could mean the demise of myself and millions if anything went wrong.
Other: Stressing here that I've never written a fanfic. Yeah.
PhantomX0990 Title of Story: (May Change) Those That Came Before Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians Plot summary: While Percy is cleaning out the Oracle's attic he finds a file labeled 1941-1945. The file contains the story of an unclaimed demigod who fought against the tide of evil in WWII. Genre: Adventure? Rating (PG, R, etc): PG-13 Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive/any Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
Now he was almost eighteen, and Jacob was terriffied. Once he and Erick were eighteen they would be cast away from the Camp, too old to be campers they would be sent into the world. It was a sad thing and pretty uncommon since many demigods hardly make it to puberty. He would be eighteen in three days, Erik in two.
Luckily the monsters were more attracted to what was going on in Europe. The Nazi war machine had invaded Poland and started a war. Most people didn't know it, but it was a war of the gods. Adolf Hitler, a son of Hades, lead the Nazis, he not only has tanks and soldiers, but monsters as well.
As they got closer they could see that everyone was surrounding the radio, a gift from Hermes to the Camp. They dropped their gear and came in to listen, the voice was none other that Franklin D. Roosevelt himself, they'd heard him on the radio a dozen times before, "Yesterday, December 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan. "
Other: I'd like to think that I'm an experienced writer, and this isn't my first fanfic.
Vato Title of Story: Pokemon: The Rest Of All Fandom: Pokemon Plot summary: What If? We've all asked ourselves this question, a simple mistake, for small it is, can lead humanity to its own doom. What if Team Galactic was never stopped? What if the Red Chain also controled Giratina? What if the world as we knew it has been reformed by Cyrus? What if there isn't any was to restore it?
The Fic follows the adventures of Drew, a young boy that mysteriously woke up in Pallet Beach with no memory at all. Across his journey he will try to collect the badges from the remaining gyms of the Pokemon world... but little does he know of what Arceus has planned for him. Genre: Action with a bit of Mystery and a small bit of Comedy every now and then. A OT Fic, but with actual characters from the Pokemon World every now and then. Rating: PG-15 for bits of strong language and mild suggestive themes Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
This is sort of a spoiler since it will be uploaded soon, anyways:
His eyes opened. He sat over the fine sands of the beach. Who was he? Where was he? For some reason, he couldn’t remind a single thing about himself. He was wearing a white shirt and black cargo pants. His face, scratched, as if something had attacked. Something… or someone. The sound of the waves, it was relaxing, how could you focus with that soothing sound next to you?
The sun was setting behind the horizon; the sunlight barely rubbed the waves of the ocean and the sand around him. It’s a nice day to be a victim of amnesia, that’s for sure.
He stood up, trying to make his mind up. –Who am I?-, this question echoed inside of his head as he tried to walk around the beach. He hadn’t said a thing since he woke up, so it was natural he wondered how would his voice sound, maybe a deep voice, or, a super acute voice, perhaps?
Other: English is not my first lenguage, in fact, it's Spanish, so I have grammar errors every now and then. I've been writing this in my laptop for over a year... but I'm now forced to restart since my hard drive broke and I lost every single bit of information in my computer.
WestsideConnection Title of Story: Wise Guys (WIP, if aformentioned Beta Reader has a better title idea, I will consider their opinion) Fandom: (Original) Any Mafia movies, games etc.. Plot summary:
This story follows the story of Francisco Botenzi, who was born to two Sicilian immigrants. Out of a job, Francisco, or Frank as he is called, is forced into finding creative ways to pay his bills, and is looking for something a bit better than the labour jobs his parents were forced into. Through connections, Francisco meets Emmanuel "Manny" Rennasino, who is a successful, business oriented wise guy. Frank has started working for Manny, in order to pay his bills and create a better life for himself then he had growing up. But Frank will come to see that it isn't easy in this business. Genre: Action, Crime Rating: M for violence, depictions of crime, coarse language, suggestive themes, alcohol references, sexual themes (nothing too hardcore) Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive, plot, character Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
“ Hey Manny,” was the sound rippling through Gino’s Bar, the central drinking hole of Little Italy, the nickname of the Italian Ghetto in Seaport.
It was Antonio “Tony” Lombardi, son of the leader of the Lombardi family, Ricardo Lombardi. Tony was a bit of a spoiled brat, but in honesty, Manny didn’t mind the guy. Tony was wearing a black three-piece suit, which is what most Mafioso prefer to wear. Tony was a short guy, but built like a tank. Tony is a pretty good fighter, and few could match with him. Tony had his short black hair gelled back.
“ Hello Tony, what is it,” was Manny’s reply as he shook Tony’s hand.
Tony was usually Ricardo’s messenger boy, so Manny knew something was up. Tony motioned Manny to follow him to a booth, and the two sat down inside the booth of the Bar.
“ So, Manny it seems that French b*****d Giguere has decided to not pay his protection costs. You know, for his tailor shop on Thirty-fourth Street. I need you to remind him why he needs to pay those costs. I had Dad call off the protectors, so you can move right in,” Tony explained to Manny.
Manny nodded in approval.
“ Yea, I can send some of my guys on it,” Manny replied, brushing off Tony’s hinting that he wanted Manny to do it.
“ May I ask who these guys are, if you have made your decision,” Tony quietly asked Manny.
“ Freddy Salence and Frank Botenzi,” Manny quickly replied,
“ I’ve been looking for a chance to test Frank.”
“ Good, good,” Tony assured himself.
“ Now, I must be going now, Father has some business for me, so arrivederci my friend.” With that, Tony got up and left the bar.
That gave time for Manny to do some planning. Manny got up out of the booth and over to the public telephone. Manny picked the phone up, and began dialing Frank’s number.
Other: This is my first fanfic, but I do have RP'ing experience so keep those things in mind. (Not to sound like a d!ck) I also tend to have short chapters as well.
Title of Story: Team Evolite: The Eevee Rescue Team (I know, I need a better subtitle...) Fandom: Pokemon (Mystery Dungeon) Plot summary: On her way to become a top rate solo explorer, Eevette, a young and very pompous Eevee, happens upon another of her kind, only his fur is a sterling white... and his only memory is of him once being human! Together, Eevette and Nico must travel the land of Divelo and find out how the white Eevee ended up on the beach and what happened in his past to transform him into a Pokemon. However, lurking behind the darkness, many enemies are working against our two fledgling heroes, seeking to stop them in their tracks. But with Nico's mysterious ability to see past the past the darkness and discover the unknown, they might just survive find what they're looking for. Genre: Adventure
Rating (PG, R, etc): RP-PG13 Type of mentor needed: Plot/Grammar (One that can give good advice on where to veer the story when it starts to become boring as well as a grammar "professor".) Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
Eevette: But that’s not fair! There are many solo explorers out there, some of them very famous!
???: They’ve earned the right to explore alone. If the Board deems you skilled enough, they will allow you to train as a one-Pokémon exploration team. Until then, you must have a partner.
Eevette closed her eyes and ground her teeth out of frustration. She obviously wasn’t happy with what she was hearing.
Eevette: I would find one, but there’s no Pokémon in this desolate town remotely worthy of being my partner…
The voice behind the gate gave off a heavy sigh, which sounded like the hoot of a melancholy owl.
???: With that attitude, it’s no wonder you can’t find a partner. You run off every Pokémon you meet instead of trying to learn about them. Like I said before, the fact that Eevees are extremely hard to come by doesn’t put you above anyone else. Until you accept that and make a friend, you are not to bother us again. Now I must get back to my tasks, so I’m afraid you’ll have to leave the premises immediately. Have a good evening.
And with that, everything became silent, aside from the hushed whispers of the gentle summer breeze. For some time, Eevette didn’t move from her spot. She was immobilized by a mixture of shock and wrath.
Eevette: (How… H-How DARE that inferior Pokémon talk down to me! Without showing his face, even! Does he not know who I am?! I don’t care what he says! These Pokémon aren’t even worth having their names memorized, let alone become acquainted with! Well, I’ll show him! I’ll show them all!)
She bowed her head to view the charm hanging around her neck, and her unpleasant scowl transformed into a fulsome grin, her remaining fury into a powerful confidence. Spinning around to show her back to the guild, she directed her gaze upward and shouts to the sky a boastful decree
Eevette: Hear me, Pokémon of the land! You might be unaware of who I am for now, but I swear upon the treasure hanging from my collar, you will soon know my name! One day, the whole world will recognize the amazing talent of Eevette, solo explorer extraordinaire!!!
Other: Well, I guess my writing abilities began to form when I took up roleplaying during my high school Freshman year. I've done many partial stories since then. I know I'm not the first to say this, but I have so many ideas swimming in my head that I try to put onto paper, though I never really finished any of them due to a mixture of writer's block, and a major lack of moral support as well as a number of friends who would just laugh at my ideas. I understand the basics of writing a story already, such as setting and character development. However, I need a lot of help on the details, like how to make people sympathize with the characters and how to keep the plot interesting without it running on and on. I also get a lot of my material from the games, like most other people, but I sometimes have trouble morphing that material into something original. If anyone can help me with becoming the best fan fiction writer I can be, I'd be a very happy Meep.
Khawill Title of story: Risio's Story Fandom: Pokémon Plot summary: Risio has moved to Rosepetal City, located on an island known for the sadness people feel when they go there. He explains his life on the island, and the people he met. Genre: Tragedy/Drama Rating: T Type of mentor needed: Plot, Proof-reading Writing sample of story: "The island is said to make people sad, and the stories are true. That girl you saw, you made her happy even here, and that should make you happy, even if you feel empty inside.” She looked at me and tried to smile “I don’t know if that girl really existed but, rumors say there are spirits of the island and maybe she was one. You should get home though before you get rained on more.” I couldn’t say anything; I had a heavy chest and a lump in my throat; Other: I've written 4 other fictions, 2 of them adventure, one tragedy, and one psychological. My strength is versatile plot development, weaknesses are grammar, spelling and minor plotholes
Star Girl
Title of Story: Uniting the Five
Fandom: Pokemon
Plot summary: A post-apocalyptic fanfic revolving around one girls rather reluctant journey to put things back together. Based off of most of the Nuzlocke rules with a couple of ones I have thrown in for the story.
Genre: Adventure
Rating (PG, R, etc): T
Type of mentor needed:Comprehensive
Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
We were children, just children, when we saw our world turned upside down.
Ethan and I were just five when the dissolving peace between the five regions disappeared like it had never existed with the death of President Helton. He was the last stronghold of peace between the regions. The Teams who ran most of the regions behind the scenes dissolved into a full out war against each other to try to gain more control.
The Elite tried, they did, but eventually they disappeared into hiding. They may be strong but they only stood so much against an army. No one has heard from them in almost seventeen years now. Most think they are dead, but I think otherwise. With the regions so scattered as they are it may be just as dangerous to return to the real world as it was when the war started.
The war lasted three years, three long years. What happened in the mean time changed the world forever. Some cities and towns disappeared overnight. The major thoroughfares were altered and changed from the bombings. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Three years after it started, supplies and troops running low what remained of the leadership finally called for a ceasefire. The fighting ended just as quickly as it seemed to have started to Ethan and mine's young eyes.
The fighting wasn't without a price even to the small town of New Bark Town. While we had usually been ignored for larger cities such as Goldenrod and Olivine it didn't mean we had the occasional attack.
With the fighting over the regions had isolated each other in order to heal. However the distrust now ever larger than ever, no one, not ever Kanto and Johto had tried to make contact again. Eventually over time even the cities themselves had become isolated from each other. The war having caused such distrust that many felt it was best to keep to themselves. And since there was central government to unite us there was nothing to stop us from becoming isolated. When the teams had withdrawn to try to heal themselves after the war they themselves had caused so had the last of the central government that had kept Johto together. So most cities turned to their own citizens for a way to create order and leadership.
New Bark Town was no exception to the rule, while we had a town council of sorts we also had a person designated as our spokesperson/leader. Professor Elm filled this role. Our biggest contact was with Cherrygrove a city just a few miles down the road from us with a bit more limited contact with Violet City a bit further off.
It had been 14 years since the war had ended. People moved on, children grew, and cities began to get back on their feet. But the weariness that had existed since before even the war had begun kept the region from reuniting under a central government again. From what little we had heard about Kanto it was supposedly in the same sort of disrepair. The remaining three regions had lost contact with us since the end of the war.
It would take a big force for the cities to start talking again, it would take an even larger one for them to reunite like they once were.
Other: Writing is going to take time due to the fact I am playing under a rule that all tasks must be accomplished by 6:30 pm.
Also would love for someone willing to beta in the LONG run or be willing to beta a second fanfic. This is a prequel to another project (non-Nuzlocke) that has been in the works for years now.
Oh and story timeline may not always line up perfectly with the game. Meaning some events may take place out of order due to how my brain comes up with it. I only seen this happening once so far but then again I've only outlined up to the edge of the Illex Forest so far and were talking a grand story that's going to overarc over five regions so anything is up for grabs except for some major events.
Been writing fanfics on and off since I was in grade school. My current style of writing only really began to develop when I was in my first couple years of college (so about five years back now). It should be noted that I've never been really great at summaries so if you want a better idea of this story PM me and I can message you the first two chapters.
Also expect to maybe edit two or three times I have the tendency to go back and edit things multiple times before I'm happy.
imevil
Title of Story: Varus (Name subject to change, just temporary)
Fandom: Pokemon
Plot summary: An ex-Team Plasma officer leaves Plasma after the events of Pokemon Black. He leaves with items of importance to Plasma and they go after him. He must fight for his life to escape, and bring down team Neo Plasma.
Genre:Action, Drama
Rating (PG, R, etc): PG-13
Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive, I'm sorta new, but anyone who specializs in anything story related would be ok.
Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
It had been years since it ended. Since Varus had left. Since Varus had quit. Since Varus had escaped. He was alone now, other than his Patrat. They always told him it was weak, that he had to get rid of it, it would slow him down. But he couldn’t do it. Now that he escaped, he released all his Pokémon back to the wild. He was hoping they would find the trainers he stole them from. He knew it would probably not happen, but he still hoped. He thought back, what got him in all of this? He used to be an innocent child. His youth made him gullible, for an orphan like himself; he thought he had found a home. He wouldn’t need to go from Pokémon center to Pokémon center. It was a mistake. And now he knew they would come after him, he knew too much. He knew about their plans to reform. They would try to stop him, and there was only one person that could help him. There was only one person powerful enough, and willing, to take on the whole organization. He knew he would need his help, he needed to find N, N would be his last hope.
Title of Story: The Legend and the Apprentice
Fandom: Pokémon
Plot summary: Things grow personal for this Pokémon Trainer when his Venusaur got badly injured by a Typhlosion.
Genre: Journey fic
Rating (PG, R, etc): T
Type of mentor needed: Language, Description
Writing sample of story:
Quote:
The second half was about to start. 14-year old Andrew Masterson tugged one last time on the edge of his right hand glove. The catacomb was empty and the grey silver walls were as bare as they were clean as they shone like mirrors. At the end of the catacomb was a bright light and the sound of thousands of people cheering. This is it. He graced with his fingertips over the Poké Balls attached to his belt. He touched the latter three a second longer. It’s your turn now, Andrew thought to them. Andrew wasn’t a telepathic, but he knew what his Pokémon were aware of his expectations and they rarely let him down when it came to his expectations. Sure, he lost countless battles as much as he won. One year and a half he spent time with his Pokémon and now in the Best 16 round with three of his six Pokémon remaining, the tension was harder then ever. He already beat three opponents, one of which his fierce rival Bart in the Best 32. He admired how they both changed in a good way since they started their journey, both with a Bulbasaur.
Other: It's a rewrite of an old story of mine (Legend in Making on serebii)
Title of Story: Pokemon: Explorers of the Shining Dawn Fandom: Pokemon Plot summary: "Celia" the Eevee influences the minds and thoughts of various Pokemon in the Pokemon world as she tries to save them all. Genre: Mystery Dungeon Rating (PG, R, etc): K+ ! (10 year olds?) Type of mentor needed: ANY. Writing sample of story: What was I to do? State the plain truth and face execution?
It was safer and easier to do when the pieces weren't in full view.
I knew what this meant; I had to lie to whoever I met.
How many feelings would be hurt? I'd rather hurt feelings than risk lives.
They say that lying isn't a good thing. However, I like to think of it as "playing pretend," and this specific round of "pretend" could mean the demise of myself and millions if anything went wrong. Other: Stressing here that I've never written a fanfic. Yeah.
Title of Story: The Dark Prince Fandom: Pokemon Plot summary:
Spoiler:
Ash Ketchum is returning back from Unova after losing in the finals to his friend Stephan. Giovanni makes an agreement with Darkrai to use his power to spread chaos. Realizing that Giovanni is softer than he looks, Darkrai requests him to use the son he abandoned and teach him the way of Darkness.
I intend to write this as a series of four multi chapter fiction, The Dark Prince being the first of the series (quadrology?)
Genre: Adventure...I think I am not even sure :x Rating (PG, R, etc): T according to fanfiction.net ratings Type of mentor needed: Someone who can find flaws in my story telling and point out the correct path.(They should not be fiddling with my story though,just point out the flaws) Writing sample of story:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8004981/...aster_Take_Two
Category: Comprehensive, Language, Grammar, Character, all around. Genre: General, Fantasy, Adventure. (Pretty much anything) Preferred method of contact: PM/VM Examples of writing: [Two from my fanfic for Skyrim, "The Divine Champion".]
Spoiler:
Revak was torn. He didn't want to lead these people to their deaths, or otherwise. But on the other hand, he knew that he needed strong people around him to accomplish what he needed done. He sighed. The most frustrating part of being a god was not being able to help the mortals without intruding upon their free will. If a god stepped in and made everything better, then would they really be the same people they were before the god stepped in? He was reminded of a blizzard. It was dangerous and damaged property. It was cold and uncomfortable. If a god were to come in and take every bad storm away, make it perfect weather all the time, then the Nords wouldn't be the hearty, strong people they were. The Nords were the children of the North, people born of the cold and the harsh.
This always gave Talos an interesting perspective as a god, because he lived as a man once before. He knew the struggles that were survival. He would even admit wondering what the gods were for, besides watching. Then he became one. He learned the limits they had, the sacrifices they made for the world. The Aedra didn't just make the world. They sacrificed their own power to create it. The gods were willing to do more than watch, but they just couldn't. It was a fact. Their energy wasn't theirs, it belong and existed in the mortal world. In fact, Revak knew that it was this energy that he called upon when he channeled his Divine Aura. Even that energy was limited. But he could do more as a man than he ever could as a god. As a god he was mostly a voice on the Pantheon, here he could use his words to alter actions, or if it was needed his blade. The gods didn't pity the mortals, they envied them. Revak remembered the determined faces of his friends as they agreed to help him on what might be called a suicide mission. These were the sort of people that would make the gods jealous.
The storm had ended three days ago. As soon as they were able Revak lead the way down the south road to get to the base of the mountains. The Khajiit caravan loaned them a wagon, which Revak's horse was strapped to. They weighed the wagon down with their traveling gear, tents, and tools; much of it donated with kinds words from the Khajiit traders. They were a generous people, and perhaps they figured that if they helped the Dragonborn then maybe when a dragon tried to roast them that he would be there to help. Not weighed down with packs they made good time. Like machines, as the sun began to fade over the horizon, they made camp. Revak took the moment to look at the map. If he was right on the location of the ruin, they would be there within three days, maybe two.
As he left his tent he almost collided with a wall of black and orange fur. Revak smiled up at Malik, who returned with a pointed grin. The behemoth cat put a light hand on Revak's shoulder and guided the Dragonborn to the campfire, where Cato was already cooking. "I found some rabbits," Cato said, stirring the kettle. "I figured a hot stew."
Revak sat on one of the rocks arranged around the fire. "Sounds great."
"Yes," Malik said, taking the seat next to Revak. "But who decided the former assassin gets to cook?"
Revak chuckled lightly, but stopped when he caught Cato's glare. "Because you cat people use Moon Sugar in your food," Cato chided.
Malik shrugged. "Not in all of it."
"The only thing dangerous about my cooking is maybe the amount of pepper I use," Cato explained as he handed a bowl to Malik. "But don't tell Lydia I made it. She'll starve herself."
Revak shook his head as he was handed a bowl of stew. Making sure that the others were still engrossed in their conversation he sniffed the broth, checking for poison. It wasn't that he didn't like Cato, but old habits die hard. It never hurt to be cautious. Revak took a sip of the harmless stew. Then he coughed. Eight Divines and me, that is a lot of pepper, he thought, grabbing for his water skin.
Spoiler:
Cato stared at the man in front of him, and at the Blade of Woe in his hand. Was he really going to do this? Kill the Emperor? The Emperor stood behind his desk chair onboard The Katariah. The old Imperial's hands gripped the chair with white knuckles. His head was bowed, ready to accept the death that awaited him at the hands of the Dark Brotherhood. Titus Mede II knew he had to die. He knew the Dark Brotherhood could never deny a contract; especially one that was this important, one that paid such a high bounty.
But he'd stopped Cato when he had entered. He asked not for his life, but for justice. He asked for a new contract. A contract to kill the man who made his original contract. "For the Empire," the Emperor had said, for he feared that the murderer came from within his own Elder Council.
Cato hated this man. He felt the mark of the Legion on his left arm. It felt like it was burning, a fresh reminder of what he lost. Furious, Cato removed his mask and hood, revealing his face to the Emperor. His hand gripped the Blade of Woe like it was his lifeline. "You are contracted for death, Emperor," he said slowly.
The Emperor looked at Cato with gentle eyes, like the eyes of a father scorned. "Yes, I must die. And you must deliver the blow. It is simply the way it is."
Cato scowled. He reached for his Nightingale gauntlet and removed it, revealing the mark of the Legion. "Former Legate Aventus Cato, Eighteenth Legion," he growled. "Not everything is simple."
The Emperor was silent.
Cato scowled. "Then you recognize me?"
The Emperor nodded solemnly. "I do. Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss."
"A little late, your Highness," Cato spat.
"I did what I had to do for the Empire. If I hadn't signed that treaty we would have all been killed. I saved so many!"
Cato closed the gap between them. "You betrayed more people than you ever saved."
Titus Mede II dipped his head. "I know. Talos preserve me, I know."
Examples of reviews/beta-reports: Spoiler/links
NOTE: I have A LOT more experience in this than what I've linked here. Thing is, most of it's on fanfiction.net, and I can't release it because the fics haven't been posted yet. I don't want to post someone's fic and spoil it or even get it... borrowed...
DOUBLE NOTE: When I am actually someone's beta I go much further in depth than I do for the on site reviews. I work with the author, rather than just point out issues.
Strengths/weaknesses (optional): I can help with basic grammar, plot development, and overall beta read on the story given.
That being said I still read through material given with speed and a personal touch. I am willing to help you along with your story in any way possible, whether it be helping you with new ideas, or helping a writer word something on paper. I'm also available via PM or VM.
Approved! I'd just suggest adding a bit more explanation to why mistakes you find are wrong/why the fix is correct going off the examples in those two reviews, but I imagine you would do that anyway.
(And for future reference other sites reviews are fine).
I've been meaning to be a beta reader for some time. Now's as good as any time, right?
Category: Comprehensive, language, proofreader Genre: I really like OT fics, and I can do Fantasy, Drama, Adventure, a bit of Sci-Fi if I'm up for it. These are for specific genres. Preferred method of contact: PM/VM, either one. Examples of writing:Hopping on Cloud Nine is a story I've worked on, and I'm not sure if I want to continue it at the moment. Either way, it's something. Some Stars is a story I just started. Examples of reviews/beta-reports:Here's a really long review I somehow mustered up. I think it's safe to say that's what most of my feedback will look like. Here is another review, where I'm rambling on and on, and it's fairly comprehensive. There's a touch of characters, plot, you name it. Strengths/weaknesses: I would say I'm speedy at reviewing, and I'll probably send you feedback within a week at the most, and that's when I start exams and I have to study. I suppose this is also a weakness, since I can overlook a few things, but I'll try my best. I promise. I'm online every day and that's a bonus. Also, I can help you with plots, characters, or anything else.
However, grammar isn't my forte. I'm decent, but I'm not an English major or anything so I'll probably look over a few things. Overall, it's not too bad. I can catch a few mistakes here and there, but don't expect too much.
Last edited by psyanic; June 7th, 2012 at 02:20 AM.
And cheers for saying that, Phantom. Updates are always cool so that we don't have people left on the list for months when they might already have been taken.
Title of Story: Night of the Red Moon Fandom: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon (EoS) Plot summary: Four months after defeating Darkrai, Team Firestorm are stunned to learn that he has returned, but Chloe's partner has to face a problem of his own. Genre: Adventure/Friendship Rating: PG-13 Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive beta reader Writing sample of story: Chloe and Chimchar climbed up the steps and started passing through the lush Treasure Town, almost everyone greeted them, Chloe and Chimchar happily greeted back with a wave. They had become rather famous and popular around here but that’s what saving the world twice does to you.
Everyone in town knew their names even most of the travelling explorers who pass by. In fact a few of them asked for their autographs. Chimchar often joked that they now could be as famous as Dusknoir used to be if not more.
Ashygirl contacted me. So I'll be picking theirs up.
This means I won't be accepting any more betas for the time being.
Hmmm, I need a beta reader pleeeeeaase.
Title of Story: (May Change) Those That Came Before Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians Plot summary: While Percy is cleaning out the Oracle's attic he finds a file labeled 1941-1945. The file contains the story of an unclaimed demigod who fought against the tide of evil in WWII. Genre: Adventure? Rating (PG, R, etc): PG-13 Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive/any Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
Now he was almost eighteen, and Jacob was terriffied. Once he and Erick were eighteen they would be cast away from the Camp, too old to be campers they would be sent into the world. It was a sad thing and pretty uncommon since many demigods hardly make it to puberty. He would be eighteen in three days, Erik in two.
Luckily the monsters were more attracted to what was going on in Europe. The Nazi war machine had invaded Poland and started a war. Most people didn't know it, but it was a war of the gods. Adolf Hitler, a son of Hades, lead the Nazis, he not only has tanks and soldiers, but monsters as well.
As they got closer they could see that everyone was surrounding the radio, a gift from Hermes to the Camp. They dropped their gear and came in to listen, the voice was none other that Franklin D. Roosevelt himself, they'd heard him on the radio a dozen times before, "Yesterday, December 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan. "
Other: I'd like to think that I'm an experienced writer, and this isn't my first fanfic.
Title of Story: Pokemon: The Rest Of All
Fandom: Pokemon
Plot summary: What If? We've all asked ourselves this question, a simple mistake, for small it is, can lead humanity to its own doom. What if Team Galactic was never stopped? What if the Red Chain also controled Giratina? What if the world as we knew it has been reformed by Cyrus? What if there isn't any was to restore it?
The Fic follows the adventures of Drew, a young boy that mysteriously woke up in Pallet Beach with no memory at all. Across his journey he will try to collect the badges from the remaining gyms of the Pokemon world... but little does he know of what Arceus has planned for him.
Genre: Action with a bit of Mystery and a small bit of Comedy every now and then. A OT Fic, but with actual characters from the Pokemon World every now and then.
Rating (PG, R, etc): PG-15 for bits of strong language and mild suggestive themes
Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive
Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
This is sort of a spoiler since it will be uploaded soon, anyways:
His eyes opened. He sat over the fine sands of the beach. Who was he? Where was he? For some reason, he couldn’t remind a single thing about himself. He was wearing a white shirt and black cargo pants. His face, scratched, as if something had attacked. Something… or someone. The sound of the waves, it was relaxing, how could you focus with that soothing sound next to you?
The sun was setting behind the horizon; the sunlight barely rubbed the waves of the ocean and the sand around him. It’s a nice day to be a victim of amnesia, that’s for sure.
He stood up, trying to make his mind up. –Who am I?-, this question echoed inside of his head as he tried to walk around the beach. He hadn’t said a thing since he woke up, so it was natural he wondered how would his voice sound, maybe a deep voice, or, a super acute voice, perhaps?
Other: English is not my first lenguage, in fact, it's Spanish, so I have grammar errors every now and then. I've been writing this in my laptop for over a year... but I'm now forced to restart since my hard drive broke and I lost every single bit of information in my computer.
__________________
Hoenn
FC [B2]: 0992 1015 0443
VM/PM me whenever you feel like trading/kicking my butt on a battle
Last edited by Vato; June 7th, 2012 at 03:16 PM.
Vato
Also Known As: V, The Guy Who Wanted To Have 'Burrito' As His Username
Category: Comprehensive, so basically, everything and anything.
Genre: Almost everything, really. My favorites, though, are hurt/comfort, angst, adventure, and fantasy.
Preferred method of contact: PM me if you want me to beta for you and I'll give my email. :3 (In other words, email.)
Examples of writing:
Quote:
As Mitsu sat down at the small tan desk, she quickly glanced at the girl she would sit next to in Physics class for the rest of the year.
The female teen had the “I-Just-Woke-Up-And-Found-Nothing-Intersting-So-I’m-Gonna-Go-Hibernate-Now-Okay-Good night” look to her. The girl had a slim figure, and was clad in the standard green school uniform. Though the fact that it was singed and torn at the edges threw her off and made her wonder whether she ran through a fire and a forest before coming to school today. Mitsu found her eyes slowly wandering higher till she found her face. She was very pale, as if she hadn’t seen the sun in years. She had pale pink lips, that weren’t smiling or frowning, but were in a rather… Neutral position. Her hair was quite wavy and alternated between the colors black and white, framing and contrasting well with her face. Mitsu kept trailing up slowly until she finally reached her eyes. She stopped there, finding something that made her blush and look down at the floor in embarrassment.
Sleepy dark blue eyes staring right back at her.
Examples of reviews/beta-reports: This is sort of the hard part for me. You see, most of the beta-ing I do takes place irl. I can't post that because I don't have any of it with me. I'm only doing one on the internet right now, and I can't post a sample because I haven't started on it yet, and I have to get permission from the author once I finish. And so, this section is going to be edited later.
Strengths/weaknesses (optional): Although I don't have any particularly terrible weaknesses I do have strength in grammar and language.
CyranoandArisu - I'm afraid we do need examples of reviews/betas for this, although note that reviews for fics can be easily made here and will do, and they don't have to come from this forum either). There's no need to rush with that either; take your time with getting those.
Title of Story: Agents (it's a rewrite of one of my old fics.) Fandom: Pokemon Plot summary: Joseph is just your average guy with uber-famous parents. However, when his mom and best friend are kidnapped, he and his sister step up and try to get them back. Of course, what follows next is anything but average. Genre: Adventure/Suspense. Rating (PG, R, etc): PG-13 Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive (the main problems I have are characterization and plot) Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
Anna’s eyes were practically burning into my back. Or it just might have been a piece of that chair embedded in my back. Either way, I was skating on thin ice. If I told the truth, then Team Chrono would know we suspected them. Of course, Karla’s dad might not have told her what was really going on at the labs, but even if that was the case, Anna would probably kill me. I needed to think of something fast.
“I said Elias is in danger . . . because he broke something in his mom’s closet earlier.” I hoped that was a good cover-up. Elias’ mom would most likely kill him for smashing up her closet, anyways. “Whitney’s obsessed with her clothes,” I added.
My work done, I stood back and gauged everybody’s expressions. Anna looked apathetic, but there was a familiar cold anger in her silver eyes. Elias seemed nervous and embarrassed. He was most likely worried about Karla laughing at him or Whitney killing him. Karla just looked confused. “Is that all?” she asked. “Then why are you two sitting in the basement and talking about it? No offense, but you and your sister are kind of strange. Would you like to come up to a more comfortable room with us? You two don’t have to stay out of our way.” With that, she turned and left, Elias trailing her like a lost Growlithe.
Other: My writing is dialogue-heavy. I'm usually good with character interactions and not much else.
__________________
OH GOD Click, plz?
Last edited by Electricmudkip; June 17th, 2012 at 05:26 PM.
Reason: I guess this is important
So, since I'm down to one beta overall I have a lot of extra time on my hands. I know I should pick an older posting, but Electricmudkip's request really interests me, and I think I can help them out best.
Title of Story: Wise Guys (WIP, if aformentioned Beta Reader has a better title idea, I will consider their opinion)
Fandom: Any Mafia movies, games etc..
Plot summary:
This story follows the story of Francisco Botenzi, who was born to two Sicilian immigrants. Out of a job, Francisco, or Frank as he is called, is forced into finding creative ways to pay his bills, and is looking for something a bit better than the labour jobs his parents were forced into. Through connections, Francisco meets Emmanuel "Manny" Rennasino, who is a successful, business oriented wise guy. Frank has started working for Manny, in order to pay his bills and create a better life for himself then he had growing up. But Frank will come to see that it isn't easy in this business.
Genre: Action, Crime
Rating: M for violence, depictions of crime, coarse language, suggestive themes, alcohol references, sexual themes (nothing too hardcore)
Type of mentor needed: comprehensive, plot, character
Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:
“ Hey Manny,” was the sound rippling through Gino’s Bar, the central drinking hole of Little Italy, the nickname of the Italian Ghetto in Seaport.
It was Antonio “Tony” Lombardi, son of the leader of the Lombardi family, Ricardo Lombardi. Tony was a bit of a spoiled brat, but in honesty, Manny didn’t mind the guy. Tony was wearing a black three-piece suit, which is what most Mafioso prefer to wear. Tony was a short guy, but built like a tank. Tony is a pretty good fighter, and few could match with him. Tony had his short black hair gelled back.
“ Hello Tony, what is it,” was Manny’s reply as he shook Tony’s hand.
Tony was usually Ricardo’s messenger boy, so Manny knew something was up. Tony motioned Manny to follow him to a booth, and the two sat down inside the booth of the Bar.
“ So, Manny it seems that French b*****d Giguere has decided to not pay his protection costs. You know, for his tailor shop on Thirty-fourth Street. I need you to remind him why he needs to pay those costs. I had Dad call off the protectors, so you can move right in,” Tony explained to Manny.
Manny nodded in approval.
“ Yea, I can send some of my guys on it,” Manny replied, brushing off Tony’s hinting that he wanted Manny to do it.
“ May I ask who these guys are, if you have made your decision,” Tony quietly asked Manny.
“ Freddy Salence and Frank Botenzi,” Manny quickly replied,
“ I’ve been looking for a chance to test Frank.”
“ Good, good,” Tony assured himself.
“ Now, I must be going now, Father has some business for me, so arrivederci my friend.” With that, Tony got up and left the bar.
That gave time for Manny to do some planning. Manny got up out of the booth and over to the public telephone. Manny picked the phone up, and began dialing Frank’s number.
Other: This is my first fanfic, but I do have RP'ing experience so keep those things in mind. (Not to sound like a d!ck) I also tend to have short chapters as well
#1
March 26th, 2012, 12:15 PM
Click, plz?
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