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  #26    
Old Posted April 23rd, 2012 (04:08 PM). Edited April 23rd, 2012 by Cirrus.
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Cirrus
dreaming a transient dream.
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: 風見学園
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Nature: Mild
@rufflestiltskin: Your sign-up is perfectly good, actually ... so since nobody else is even interested in your spot, I will note your acceptance as well (and update the main post).
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pair · in tempore momenti · personal vloid playlist
d.c. ii art assets belong to circus. text: tororo.
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  #27    
Old Posted April 23rd, 2012 (05:00 PM). Edited April 27th, 2012 by ThatWhiteKid.
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ThatWhiteKid
What is this Math~
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Peanut Butter
Age: 16
Gender: Male
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Wow. Can you spell competition? Kidding, kidding. Good luck everyone!

Just keep an eye out for the rest of my SU, okay? I'm only putting in the major details (Name, etc.) and RP Sample (which I'm writing as we speak). Wish me luck! And please do consider. Done! I'm really hoping that no one's feelings will be hurt when I win. XD No, again, I kid. Really.

Name: Brennan Elizaar Elivayne
Age: 17
Gender: Male

Personality: Brennan is a cold calculator, much like Theseus of the Greek myths. He has, for as long as anyone can remember, been one for solitude and altogether asocial. He does things his way, quick and efficient, not wasting a second on anything but his main goal. He is one to live and let live, not really caring what others do with their time so long as it does no harm to him or his loved ones; however, he views unreasonable dishonesty and trecheary as heinous injustices and will see to it that the old saying does not go unheaded--an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

That is not to say that Brennan is a jerk to everyone. His family and their friends (who by extension are his own--and only--friends) are the most precious things in the world to him, and he would do anything to see them happy and healthy. In social situations, however, as said before, he isn't the most...eloquent bard of the college. He often uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism or just to be smart with someone. He likes playing mind games with people and watching how they react, always studying, learning about other people.

To the surprise of many, though, he is quite bright and capable of great mental feats. He loves a good book to curl up with--one night, maybe an epic of the great heroes of the past, then the next evening a mathematics textbook, watching endless equations dance before his eyes and stun himself with his own accuracy. And finally, the next morning, let breakfast settle over a good set of ruminations on the religions of the present and past day. He also enjoys to sing, in a voice not unlike the chirping of a songbird; high, sweet and pure. He often likes to sing for his family (but only after minutes of begging), and even moreso and eagerly for his father's best friend's son (Brennan's own best friend).

Appearance: Brennan stands short at age seventeen, barely reaching past his mother's own crown of golden locks. He looks more youthful, and somewhat feminine, with close-set shoulders, straight, shoulder-length, blindingly blond hair with bangs pouring into his eyes, a button nose, and round, storm-grey eyes. His lips are drawn thin and he has full, alluring eyelashes. His ears are medium-large yet gracefully curvy at the sides of his head. He has high, jutting cheekbones that somehow pull his face together as somewhat of a sharp, feirce cat.

His neck is short and slender, with a prominent collarbone not inches below. His shoulders draw down to twigs of arms, bony and thin, and covered in a thin sheen of stark white hair. His hands are small and deft, with long, graceful and dexterous fingers. His torso is long and filled, not stuffed with muscles or defined by any means, but hard and smooth from years of various physical jobs. His waist is a little wide and bony, but not so much to draw any attention. His legs are long with spidery grace, and small feet sit at the ends, big toes frilling the edges of their smooth overside skin. He often walks around barefoot, as he feels shoes are restraining and socks annoy him. Sandals are what he prefers, but he hates how they rub his feet. So he goes without shoes a lot.

Brennan's wardrobe consists of three different outfits:
-A formal outfit. This consists of a black silk shirt under a white jacket with a short fron and long coattails and golden trim. He wears a silver waistcoat with this sometimes. The pants are also black silk, with gleaming silver-colored loafers. There is an elegant silver and jade circlet that he sometimes wears with this outfit.
-Everyday clothes. This includes a billowing beige tunic with a seafoam ribbon at the collar, black slacks and padded leather sandals.
-Outing garb. He wears an olive, sleeveless tunic with loose, earth-toned cotton leggings reaching to the middle of his calfs, where they draw closed and tight around them. Hanging from his neck is what appears to be a scarf at first glance, but is actually a black lace cape bearing his family's emblem, a raven, in silver. He wears supple leather fingerless gauntlets and boots reaching just below where his pants end, all of which have long since molded to to his figure.

Background: Brennan was born in Calis to a Calian father, John Heath Elivayne, and a Salantirian noblwomamnamed Elise Kilgredth. Elise had met John when she traveled to Calis to gather fine silks for herself and her family back in Estaren, and had quickly fallen in love with the strapping young owner of the Elivayne Raiments, a clothing, sundry and fabric shop in the downtown. He was raised by his mother while his father was off to tend the shop, so he grew very close to his mother. She would lose patience with him when he played his little games with people's heads or didn't act how a proper boy should, but she would never stay mad, as he was her whole world. He soon started to sing, but it was while his mother was out tending the shop while his father was meeting with an important customer about a major order. The maids were cleaning the dining room, when they heard a sudden gush of wonderful singing. It was coming from the young master's room, but they quickly dismissed the idea that he ws singing, and started to wonder who it was that the young Brennan had sneaked in. After a while, the first maid that had heard the singing opened his door while all wss silent in the hose and saw the young boy asleep on the bed at high noon, his hand on his chest and his chest rising and falling slowly. He awoke as the maid walked in to clean and waved a silent hello in the mirror. The maid inquired about the singing and got her answer--Brennan started to tell of tales grand and noble. His voice was honey in her ears and soon all of the other maids had come to clean his large and apparently filthy room as he went about his business reading and writing and staying out of the way, but in earshot.

Brennan spent the next few years being showcased at fine dinner parties and business gatherings, singing for his mother's friends and his father's superiors and business associates. At one dinner party when Brennan was nine years old, a professor of the Academia Caliae, who happened to be married to Elise's close friend, remarked that the boy was practically a prodigy, that he should be tutored by a professor of the fine arts. Elise's eye twinkled and saw her son, a successful and wondrous singer, actor, writer, and everything else he might learn to be. She soon after snatched him off the stage and told him of the good news. He simply shrugged and slipped away from the party while out of his parents' sight.

He stole the key to the shop next morning when his father took him there. It was his "field day" his father had said. He soon slipped into the back rooms and picked what he fancied; an olive tunic, brown pants, a black cape which he figured he would paint a raven on, and supple leather boots. He figured his father wouldn't notice one missing set of clothes. From then on he would sneak out after his daily arts and academic tutoring for about three hours and explore the Julian Forest to the west of the maze of a city. He would hide from hunters and dangerous animals alike with ease, loving how he practically became a shadow. One day he came across a bow that a pair of hunters and their protege had left behind--a fine hickory shortbow and quiver of 12 arrows. He quickly equipped the gear and got to work. He first started to practice shooting at trees, then branches, then small animals. His skill quickly developed and soon there was an extra quail at dinner every other night.

Of course his secret was soon figured out when he had made the mistake of leaving too early. His tutor from the Academia had come back soon after remembering to retrieve his sheet music, and could not find his pupil who gave him so much trouble and yet was increasingly bright with every lesson. He sent for a search and the boy was soon found in his bed by dusk, an innocent look on his face, playing his mind games with the authorities. Soon they had weeded out his activities and relayed the informaton to the now-infuriated parents of the boy. They contemplated and reflected for the night, and by dawn's light they had found an answer. They would hire a third tutor for Brennan--a master archer. Or ranged weapons specialist, as he liked to call himself.

The tutor, named Aerus Willthrall, soon grew a liking to the boy called Brennan, as was the reverse. His teachings engulfed the boy's nights for years on end, growing him to be shadow, to be an arrow flying silently through the darkness. He was taught to wield a dagger, which was cleverly hidden under the collar of his cape, hewn of polished silver with a leather hilt and gilded pommel. Defense and evasion was the game in close combat, unless there was an opening--then there was a quick strike that either staggered or debilitated an opponent. Quick retreat, then a barrage of arrows or knives or stars. And then death. He also learned the ways of the genuises with his academic tutor, but he had dropped his arts tutor as it was becoming quite apparent that Brennan would become an archer, but still remain closely bound to his intellectual curiosities. Recently he has returned from an outing with Aerus, as a final training regiment before he would look for a teacher with skills beyond his own...

...or maybe something more?

Legend: Ciefe, Reticent Shadow

Statistics:

Strength - 12 (+4)
Dexterity - 18 (+10) (+2)
Constitution - 11 (+3)
Intelligence - 14 (+6)
Wisdom - 14 (+6)
Charisma - 11 (+3)

Abilities:

Major Ranged Weapon Mastery: Brennan's extensive training with Master Aerus has honed his ranged skills to a razor point. Most used Weapon: Shortbow

Intermediate Swiftness: Master Aerus has taught Brennan to be one with the shadows and use them to his advantage. +2 Dexterity

Minor Edged Weapon Mastery: Master Aerus has taught Brennan to weild a dagger well and to defend himself with it, although he may use it for offence as he sees fit.


Roleplay Sample:
Spoiler:

He woke up heaving.

He felt his toes being tickled by something--what was that? Rascal's wet nose? Or maybe the blanket flowing in the breeze of the fan? He didn't know. But what he did know is that it felt weird and he did nothing to stop it. Oddly enough.

He lifted his hand to his head--sweat? Was that it? It had to be. But with the fan on and no blanket--even in the middle of a scorching Ohio summer, that would be enough to keep you shivering. His hair felt stringy and wet, and his eyes stung from the sweat dripping off the edge of his brow. He wiped it away and sat up.

It was, in fact, Rascal at his feet--the puppy was lightly nipping at his toes, confused at their function. He lifted his head and the light brown spot showed itself. It was the sole spot on the dog's blizzard-white body, and it actually made him look all the more adorable. It had the approximate size of a silver dollar, and was smack dab above his right eye. He looked up at Henry and trotted to his lap. Henry patted him affectionately but absentmindedly--he was outside his body right now, deep in thought.

Henry couldn't remember--where was he? What time was it? When and where had he fallen asleep? What had caused it? He had often woken up like this, alone in his room and, more recently, accompanied by his dog. His condition caused him to fall asleep at random moments. Well, he reminded himself, not completely random. It is brought on by emotions.

Narcolepsy. What a weird name. It sounded to him like some bacteria or something. Wasn't it that thing where you had to steal stuff? he had thought when he was first officially diagnosed. But when he had thought about it more, he didn't think it was a disease--more of a pair of wings. When things got too stressful, or he was too angry, he could just escape into some crazy world of his own creations with bolder colors, vivid personalities and scalding memory-brands called dreams by everyone else. But a pair of wings is not only the triumph of a bird, but ultimately its downfall. Not to get into details, he had had other mind-wiping experiences such as this current one.

He checked his wrist. No watch. He hadn't plugged his alarm clock back in when he got home, so that was off. His mother--or whoever had put him to bed--had drawn the drapes and closed the blinds. It was, essentially, the middle of the night to him. There was a soft knock on the door and his mother slipped in through the crack in the door.

"Henry, honey?" she asked quietly in a honeyed voice. "Are you up?"

"Yeah...what time is it?" He pet Rascal as he slipped away and ran into the hallway outside the door. His mother turned on the light and the blinding light shone through his eyelids as he blinked.

"It's time to wake up--it's your finals today, remember? You fell asleep cramming. It was kind of because of the stress, and Gillian left right after you fell asleep. She said you were freaking out and you just fell asleep right on the spot." She came over to him and lightly caressed his cheek. She meant well, but Henry saw her as persistently annoying, as all rational teenagers would. "You have to get yourself under control today, okay?" she said with a voice more coated with sugar than a gumdrop.

Henry just groaned and muttered something along the lines of "pphhhttt."

*I don't mean to offend anyone reading in any way, I just felt that this might give me something to work with--I stretched it a little bit, but it's a topic of high interest to me.
If you need a longer one, I've got it right on my computer. But this one just came to me.
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  #28    
Old Posted April 23rd, 2012 (06:09 PM).
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parallelzero
chelia.blendy
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The capital of Canada (not Toronto)
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Nature: Calm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrus View Post
@parallelzero: You increase to 18, since you're not actually investing any points - just increasing a statistic by a flat amount. Also, for stuff about the church of St. Elendra, take a look at the nation of Teucrion, the one and only theocracy for now; I'll write up some extra supplementary information if you give me a bit of time.
The supplementary information would be appreciated. It'll be difficult to play a devout if I'm not really sure of their traditions and order. XD Could I get some more detailed information on how Miracles are performed, too? I want to get a better idea of how I'm going to handle that form of magic in the RP.

I edited Crea's personality and history to include her religious background, and will probably add more once I understand the church a little better.
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  #29    
Old Posted April 23rd, 2012 (06:50 PM). Edited April 23rd, 2012 by Cirrus.
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Cirrus
dreaming a transient dream.
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: 風見学園
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
Yep, I quickly realized that and began writing about half an hour or forty-five minutes ago. : o STILL NOT DONE BUT FEEL FREE TO READ ANYWAYS (there's a lot of stuff here already).

EDIT: Done.

Sidebar: The Church of St. Elendra.

Spoiler:

History


The main extant religion on the continent of Khellius is, of course, the church of Saint Elendra, whose font of holy power and object of worship is its namesake, a winged goddess of incredible purity and strength attended by three flights of angels; how she came to have the prefix of "Saint" before her name is a hot topic of debate within the church itself, with one part of it maintaining that she was initially mortal and the other that it was a posthumous title affixed to her name. Regardless, however, her name is constant and unchanged everywhere on the continent, and very well known.

A goddess of victory and cleansing with many titles such as the Merciful, the Healer, the Beautiful One, and the Champion, her divine symbol is a six-petaled flower, dyed alternately white and red. Although her wrath usually takes on the form of fire, it is not the same sort of flame that is usually found in life, being thousands of times hotter and more powerful - even creatures normally immune to fire will take a severe beating from a flame strike channeled by a petitioner of St. Elendra. Though the force of her miracles are seen everywhere in the land, she usually only interacts physically with extremely accomplished members of her clergy.

Nobody is quite sure how the goddess came to exist; she has been a part of humanity's memory since the dawn of recorded history. There are, once again, numerous theories about her - whether she is the greatest power on Lunicia, or there is someone mightier, as well as how she came into being.

The incentive for people to worship St. Elendra are twofold - first, it is evident that she has actual power, and the common people rely on a mixture of their faith and holy symbols to protect themselves in the occurrence of a malevolent attack; second, the concept of rewards after death exist, and if a follower is especially pious, there is a possibility of ascension into the ranks of her angels, which are separated into three flights (as is the church itself, somewhat), described below.

The Flight of the White Lotus
The flight of the White Lotus is associated with healing, light, sacred cleansing, barriers, and protection. Angels from this flight have wings of pure ivory and very light hair, and associated clergymen are often apothecaries, inventors, and healers, working for the benefit of the church as well as the wider world.

The Flight of the Crimson Lilium
The flight of the Crimson Lilium is associated with flame, righteous anger, struggle, and victory. Angels from this flight are more heavily armored and possess a more warlike bearing, and usually have wings tipped with a warm color, though this can range from light orange to deep carnelian. Associated clergymen are usually inquisitors and militant members of the church, actively seeking out and eliminating ancient sources of evil as well as darkness within.

The Flight of the Twin Fantasia
The flight of the Twin Fantasia is associated with joy, music, good news, and encouragement. Angels from this flight are often dark-haired, with cheerful expressions on their visages, and their wingtips are tinged with a pleasant blue. Associated clergymen are usually artistically gifted, and are accomplished writers, orators, preachers, and capable leaders and administrators of the church.

Hierarchy of the Church
The Luminarch holds the highest position in the church, and is elected by a council of archbishops and cardinals. Accompanying the Luminarch is a gathering of the aforementioned high-ranking members of the clergy, who serve as a source of valuable advice as well as the governing body. Below the archbishops and cardinals are the bishops, who act as municipal leaders in Teucrion and leaders of large congregations elsewhere, and below that are the priests and clerics who propagate the teachings of St. Elendra.

Special Divisions of the Church
The crucesignati (sing. crucesignatus) are an elite faction of priests, mostly from the flights of the Crimson Lilium and the White Lotus, who are skilled in warfare and are tasked with the defense of Noviopolis as well as select important tasks around the continent. The exorcistati sancti (sing. exorcistatus sanctus)are a group of petitioners alike that act in the interests of the church as well as educate the members of the wider public in the art of performing miracles. The cognoscentes (sing. cognoscens) are the inquisitors, in charge of routing corruption from the ranks of the church and the keeping of laws.

Customs


The teachings of Saint Elendra are passed down in a few holy books, with little to no commentary attached; inspired by Saint Elendra, the books are a narrative of holy acts and struggles in ancient times, as well as her principles of faith. The religion's deadly sins include avarice, thoughtlessness, apathy, sloth, and irresponsibility, while the books extol the virtues of moderation, bravery, and temperance. The priesthood accepts members from either gender, and theological study is not required, though it often occurs with potential clergymen. Worship includes, besides congregation in designated sacred buildings (i.e. churches), private meditation as well as solemn prayer.

Calendar:
Aquerin (mid-winter)
Dairmen (late winter)
Eulis (early spring)
Sylvaeris (mid-spring)
Panoris (late spring)
Itana (early summer)
Zanatria (mid-summer)
Rethica (late summer)
Thonoro (early autumn)
Meselo (mid-autumn)
Camasto (late autumn)
Viodion (early winter)

Months are not separated into weeks, and each month has only twenty-four days. In colloquial language the later days of the month are sometimes referred to by the number of days remaining until the next month, though this is never done in writing.

The most important holidays are Caspenalia, during the winter solstice sometime in Dairmen, celebrating the goddess's sweeping away of the overpowering frost of winter; Sanctalia, on the eighth day of Eulis, commemoratingthe traditional date of when the goddess first came into full divinity; Viritalia, a holiday devoted to extolling the virtues of the goddess, on the twelfth of Zanatria; and Messalia, three days of thanksgiving between Meselo and Camasto to the goddess for the bountiful harvest and her continued protection.
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~あさきゆめみし君と~




さくらの色 いとしさの花 あさきゆめみし君と
そっとそっと口づけをして 涙あふれてく


pair · in tempore momenti · personal vloid playlist
d.c. ii art assets belong to circus. text: tororo.
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  #30    
Old Posted April 23rd, 2012 (09:04 PM).
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MattyJ
Serial Procrastinator
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Cirrus, I've just updated my SU to include a RP sample. Feel free to check it out!
This is shaping up into a very exciting little adventure - I'll be sure to read it even if I don't get accepted!
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  #31    
Old Posted April 23rd, 2012 (10:07 PM). Edited May 18th, 2012 by Cirrus.
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Cirrus
dreaming a transient dream.
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: 風見学園
Gender: Male
Nature: Mild
@MattyJ: Noted! That is long enough, thank you. =) I'll just wait for a day or two more for everyone interested currently to finish their sign-ups, then begin the judging process on the contested position(s). (... everybody wants to play Ciefe; I guess Reticent Shadow sounds nice?)

And I will dump my own sign-up here, as well.



Name:
Lyrian Sileres Morianus
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Personality: For the most part, Lyrian is aptly described as a temperate and rather halcyon personality. A practiced speaker, he is able to diffuse even the most hostile of atmospheres with a simple smile and a few select words of consolation, accompanied by an expression of innocence. An individual with a very flexible perspective on many things, he seems to be extremely malleable on first glance; nevertheless, this is not to say that he lacks his own ideals – quite the opposite – and his tenacity displays itself when acting in defense of those ideals. He is a man ruled by his emotions, perhaps uncharacteristically so, and though rational thought is dominant the majority of the time, passion may very well erase reason when the former runs high, and though typically he exerts enough self-control not to do so, unrestrained manifestations of raw psionic power might ensue a particularly severe outburst. Not an avid conversationalist, he prefers instead to give each of his individual statements greater weight, though he takes great pleasure in conversing with his very close acquaintances, and is someone who enjoys others’ company in general.

While some may have the habit of veiling their opinions, it is a trait noticeably absent from Lyrian's personality; he carries a candid simplicity about himself, and tends to reveal at least a hint of what he is thinking on his visage, and is unabashed at displaying sudden shifts in mood openly, whether for better or for worse. Connected to this is his abundance of naivete; he believes the best of others, and is very trusting of their claims as long as they are mostly plausible - a trait Cecily often jokingly criticized with the words "not everyone is as forthright as you are, you know", but which would obviously lead to a number of problems when encountered with less savory individuals. He treats his friends as generally equal in importance, and has enough faith in all of them (even newly made ones) to entrust his safety to each.

Still, despite his cheerful front, all is definitely not well. In conversations with others, his eyes have the tendency to shift out of focus briefly before returning to reality, and he becomes absentminded at very inopportune times; when inquired about it by even his closest of acquaintances, he brushes it off with a strained smile and a casual wave of the hand, insisting that it's nothing to be worried about. Humans are fragile creatures, and Lyrian is no different; even if the precise trigger is unknown at the present, the frailty imbued within his overwrought mind is immanent, and difficult to remove. The wholeness of his heart is only an illusion, constructed of metaphorical smoke and mirrors, concealing innumerable fine fissures that threaten to tear at any opportunity.

Appearance: Bearing a slender build, Lyrian is of a medium stature, standing at some two inches below six feet. Fine silver locks of hair, combed in a seemingly extratemporaneous manner, flow untended, save for two small braids, one at each side of his head, attached by a hairpin adorned by a plain white feather. His eyes are a light steel blue, rounded and of a watery consistency, and his expression is innocuous, almost melancholic at times. His skin is very pale, and generally unblemished in the parts that are usually uncovered, though the remnants of a blade wound, healed to a pallid line that stretches across the front of his chest, is extant. His fingers are slender and well-manicured, though there is a thin layer of callused skin on his right hand, the result of extended periods of glove-less fencing.

Lyrian wears a sweeping cape of goldenrod wool, which is parted at the middle of his back and cascades outwards; decorated with a simple, singular floral crest at the front, it is affixed to his person by means of two steel fasteners, which are embedded with small alexandrite gemstones. Beneath this garment is a long velvet jacket with medium-lengthed open sleeves - the coattails of which almost reach the ground - dyed a dark royal blue with a large panel of alabaster at its anterior, it is adorned by a number of metallic buttons, which are also embedded with tiny shards of chrysoberyl. Closest to his body is a raiment of luxurious Calian silk, acting as a sort of undertunic and protective garment for the hands at the same time. Practical boots of tough leather, enchanted against water damage, rise up halfway to his knees, and are accompanied by loose-fitting tan trousers, which are embellished by a vertically descending pattern of turquoise rhombuses; the latter rest comfortably on his legs, and are ornamented by stylized cruciform medallions of an alloy of silver and gold.

Numerous preparations for travel and combat are visible as part of his attire. The most apparent, by far, is the gleaming crysteel blade at his side, which incandesces with each turn in the light; in addition to serving as a weapon, the sword is a powerful receptacle of mental energy, and as long as a portion of a manifester's vitality is invested into it, its inherent qualities will be enhanced greatly, even though it is not as hard as regular steel would otherwise be. Slightly less noticeable, though still easily perceived, are the strands of copper wire attached to the edges of his cape, tipped with amethysts and decorative feathers; these are able to serve as foci - a defensive barrier, good against most ordinary weapons if only for short periods of time, can be conjured according to the specifications programmed into the power stones, depending on how much energy is channeled into the item. Furthermore, though one of the belts - a sturdy thing of reliable brown leather - he wears is for utility, storing a manner of useful tools of irrelevant size in its pouch, various cognizance crystals and psionatrices hang from his secondary belt, which is itself an artistic affair of etched ivory. Finally, a lightweight shirt of fine aerelium links between his jacket and undertunic serves as protection without impeding movement.

Background: Originating from a lower-upper class Helvan family, Lyrian has always grown up in the shadows. Because of his naturally frail constitution, Lyrian spent much of his childhood years bedridden and afflicted with various illnesses, and, having lost his mother very early on in his life - when he was only three or four - he was largely raised by his brother, the general Regulus Sileres Morianus, at that time only a young officer in the army. Though his father cares greatly for the both of them, his lack of time limited their interactions; he could not spend very much time with him, being increasingly busied by work. His health did not prevent him from engaging in study, though, and often it was the only sort of activity he was able to engage in. The perusal of books lit a spark in his mind, one that would only grow brighter as he aged: the spark of imagination.

When his mental abilities were discovered at eight years of age, he was sent off at once to the Collegium Magiae; a series of experiments needed to ascertain his ability passed, and he was deemed relatively talented in the art, but his health prevented him from attending classes. Instead, a professor was hired from the college to tutor him privately on the usage of manifestation – an enigmatic Nemaesian scholar by the name of Darien Asmaris, hailing from Naranum, who would become his mentor. The man taught Lyrian the ways in which one could draw upon reserves of mental strength and convert it to fortitude, and thereby strengthen oneself, with the stern warning that if overuse of his abilities occurred, the negative side-effects on his health would be much greater than that of a typical failed manifestation. Under the man’s tutelage, Lyrian’s condition slowly began to improve, and within a year, he was able to attend a grammar school in person. There, Lyrian learned literature and oratory, as well as the natural sciences, mathematics, history, geography, and other such subjects.

Admitted to the Collegium as a novice at fourteen, he was not a very diligent student; often, pretending to have issues with his health, he would choose to skip the rudimentary classes on his schedule and instead sit quietly in the gardens of the school, as he was already familiar with the material. After each instance of this, he would usually receive a lecture from Darien as well as chastisement in the form of additional after-classes tutelage; he did not mind this, however, as he was much more suited to take advantage of private lessons than a broad coverage of topics that he already grasped quite firmly. During his time at the Collegium, Lyrian took up swordsmanship; if he wanted to be of assistance to his brother, he had to at least be able to take care of himself on the battlefield. This was of great aid to improving his agility, reflexes, and sense of balance, and augmented his fitness.

His life in academia was fairly ordinary; his personality, though not the most entrancing, was nonetheless quite charming, and won him a number of close acquaintances, among them an optimistic and intelligent alchemist named Tomas Welriam, as well as a withdrawn but talented conjurer, Frerin Vinarion. As others were drawn to him, so he in turn was drawn to another: Cecily Madeleine, a gifted evoker whose radiance dazzled him and bound him with intangible chains to her side. Though she considered him simply another admirer at first - and a troublesome one at that, having large amounts of free time at his disposal! - after a dangerous incident relating to a rapidly regenerating carnivorous plant that briefly ran rampant through the laboratories in the greenhouse of the Collegium and Lyrian's resolute display of determination to act for the sake of her welfare, which was well beyond normal standards of admiration, the two became inseparable friends. As the months passed into years and their amity grew, affection bloomed forth as well; before the third winter had passed, the two were enmeshed in an inseparable relationship. Following their graduations in their sixth year, Lyrian proposed to his beloved with a shining ring, crowned with a star sapphire; Cecily, smiling brilliantly, accepted in an instant.

Unfortunately, their happiness was not to persist. At the end of that very same year, Arianne is set upon by a group of extremists; both Lyrian and Cecily are severely wounded, acting in the defense of the city that was their home. Anticipating the powerful magicians that the Helvan Empire possessed, the perpetrators were equipped with curved blades that were able to lessen the effects of even the most powerful manifestations and magicks; wounds inflicted with such weapons refused to close upon treatment with spells, and though Lyrian miraculously recovered, his fiancée did not have the same fortune. In a single night, the night of her passing, his glossy chestnut hair transformed into a shade of curious silver. He blamed himself for her untimely demise, and entered a sort of existential paralysis for the better part of the next half-year, only being shaken out of his fruitless reverie by his former mentor, Darien Asmaris. Following the sharp admonishments of his erstwhile tutor, Lyrian slowly recovered himself from the void of despair that he had fallen into. Though his spirit had shattered from the adversity, he realized that his current state was not doing anyone any favors whatsoever, and certainly served as a poor remembrance of the person most precious to him; and, collecting his thoughts, applied for a position as an independent magister under the command of the military. Most recently, the empire's conquests have brought him to the battlefront, on the outskirts of the fallen Tyrovion.

Legend: Helvenn, Heroic Champion.

Statistics:
Strength - 14 (6)
Dexterity - 15 (8)
Constitution - 12 (4)
Intelligence - 12 (4)
Wisdom - 8
Charisma - 17 (10) [+1]

Abilities:
Major
Mindcraft (Metacreativity, Psychoportation)
- Minor Influence
Minor Edged Weapon Mastery (Longsword)

Roleplay Sample: I think this entire thread should suffice.
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  #32    
Old Posted April 24th, 2012 (08:57 AM).
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Made the changes! Hopefully it's acceptable now. :3

If not, I'm still open to editing.
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  #33    
Old Posted April 24th, 2012 (10:07 AM).
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Yay, something came up today meaning I have to concentrate on doing work more. So I will be withdrawing my interest in the role play; apologies if I held anyone up.

-breaks down over half-written SU-
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Old Posted April 24th, 2012 (05:35 PM).
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Updated Rhys' sign-up with a banner. i should be doing homework cryforever

The unedited version is also in his appearance section now. I changed his colors ultimately because I can't color steel to save my life /sob
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Old Posted April 24th, 2012 (06:32 PM).
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ohgawdloki
you drew that?

I can't even
I was going to draw Pesca a banner but now can't even aslkdfskdlfksj so pretty

Also, thank you for accepting me Cirrus can't wait can't wait!
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  #36    
Old Posted April 24th, 2012 (07:28 PM). Edited July 6th, 2012 by The Last Sentinel.
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Well, here is what I have so far...

I honestly simply chose what I believe to be my best RP post for the sample,though I could change it if you'd like.

Edit: Done! Hope you like it.

The Essence of Beauty...

Sign-Up Sheet:

Name: Isabella Aegle

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Personality: Isabella is, like most humans, asociable creature. She absolutely lives to be social. Able to talk to manypeople, each in different ways, it isn't hard to believe that she can makefriends fairly easily. To help with her social ability, she possesses many ofthe traits needed. She is a kind girl, keen to help others in anything she canpossibly do. She is protective of friends and family, willing to risk her ownlife for any of them. Coinciding with the last statement, it is obvious thatshe is caring. She tends to never put her self above others, thinking everyone can reach as far as they want as long as they try.

Following this, Isabella is an intelligent woman and keen to learn anything. Not technically a scholar atheart and only a bit curious to things, she can surprisingly learn quite a fewthings pretty quickly though it may sometime be only when she is pushed intolearning it or actually wanting to learn something. , evidence being in herrecent mastery of Arcana and such an early age. Generally, this leaves her tothe point of being agnostic, simply due to the fact that the idea of an allpowerful being has never been proven in her eyes, only opinionated. Typically,this leaves her on the bad side of some religious people. (Obviously.)

Even with all of this, Isabella tends to be artistic and, on the occasion, wild. She loves art in all forms, music, paintings, sculptures, etc. She always tries to find and interpret thedeeper meaning in the art, tending to think that all art expresses what theartist was feeling. Due to her love for music, she recently took to playing theflute. It is one of the many things that are fun to her and, well, why wouldn'tit be? As stated above, she can occasionally be wild. Not in the exact sense ofbeing, well, wild, but in a sense of general playfulness. Far from being aperson who gets hyper, she'll love to play any game that she can with anybodyshe could. Some people will definitely call her childish, but it is one of herways of fun. In her opinion, that's all that matters.

On the case of battle, she isquite unskilled due to the fact that she only had the occasional chance tofight monsters. She had never needed to defend herself otherwise. She doeshowever believe that she could be a balanced fighter with her arcana skillsbeing balanced in many ways themselves.

Even with all of these aboveattributes, Isabella is far from perfect. She tends to fail at finding thedarkness in people, hoping that everyone is good at heart. It is easy to sayshe is wrong about it. She is gullible at times, occasionally believing peopleon something that she knows nothing about. This tends to lead to a small butobvious hate of liars. To lie about being great or something of the manner justshows one is the complete opposite of that. It is despicable. She also is onewho fears the oncoming approach of death, believing that no one has the rightto take a life, unless ABSOLUTELY needed, not even "god" as religiouspeople would see it. Isabella can never stand egos in people. The one thoughtthat a person is better than someone else is simply wrong and stupid in hereyes.

Appearance: Isabella is by far a beautiful woman.Standing at a height of five foot, seven inches and weighing at around 104 lbs,she appears to be the average of a woman her age. Her eyes are the color of lightmahogany, although they do happen to have a little tinge of red to them. Forsome reason, these eyes show passion and wisdom even in her young (-ish) age.

Her hair is somewhat similar toher eye color in many ways. It is a dark auburn, obviously hued with a tad bitof red. It is actually quite long, ending just below her shoulders. Her bangsarc down to the left, covering most of her forehead and just a tad of her lefteye. The rest of her hair seems to arc in the same fashion, though it goesoutward, away from her face. Her body, being at the age she is, matured as wellas her mind, giving her signs of development in her features.

Onto clothing, Isabella's weremade by her mother. Her mother, a seamstress from another country, made itcompletely from scratch, making it quite unique in some ways.

Starting with the upper half ofher dressing, Isabella's top (or tops) are that of balanced elegance.Basically, the first layer is a plain, long sleeved, black shirt that endsabove her stomach. Over it she wears a white shirt made of lace, with a designsimilar to that of flowers as many are, that is just as long as her undershirt.It is slightly different as, instead of going straight down, it curves to theleft, leaving nearly half of her abdomen shown. Finally, Isabella has a blacktravel robe, though it mainly used to guard from the elements.

Onto the bottom half, Isabella's clothing is much like most worn by traveling women. She wears a basic, whiteshort skirt with long stockings to cover the rest of her legs. The stockings, however, are black in color and have a white trim. Usually, Isabella is one to wear plain black boots, ideal for traveling as well as running if she absolutely had to.

She possesses only a few pieces of jewelry including a single golden bracelet and a necklace with a tanzanite gemstone set within it. She tells others that both pieces had been given to herby her mother.

Background: Born in the capital city of Arianne to a single woman by the name of Fey Aegle, Isabella is the lone child of a fatherless family.

Isabella's mother was a skilled woman, trained in textiles in her birth city of Calis, and a high-ranking member of the Arianne Trade and Services Association. A common lover of all forms of art, she insisted that Isabella be the same in her preference of it. This ultimately gave her the love she has today and eventually led to her discovery of her own arcane prowess.

At the age of six, Isabella and her mother had gone to an art show-like event, where upon seeing a painting that reminded the young girl of fire, she unknowingly invoked the construction of fire right in front of her.

A master arcanist, known by thename of Tyranious Abarath, had happened to be at the event and as he watched the occasion occur, knew exactly what had happened. It wasn't everyday that theman saw such talent at a young age and immediately went to Isabella's mother to request to train the girl. It was an odd request but Fey eventually gave into Tyranious' offer. Even at her young age, Isabella knew that this would be the chance of a lifetime.

Isabella moved in with the manat the start of the apprenticeship and viewed it as the moment that changed herlife, likely for the better. To be trained in so many of the arcane arts waswhat she was made for and in her own words, the meaning of her reality. Sheexcelled in several forms of the magic and tended to train above her level atsuch an early age, surprising her mentor. Most lessons he gave to her wereunderstood fairly easily and interpreted well, especially those having to dowith the two elements of fire and water. The reason she excelled at these twospecific pieces of nature was unknown to her and her mentor, but they were soonused in all forms of her magic.

Astonishingly enough, she wasonly nine at the end of the short education, leaving her with quite a few yearsof knowledge in the short amount of time that they had trained. Tyranious (orin a sense, her father) was proud of her and quickly submitted for her entryinto the Collegium Magiae. All of it was for the lone chance to let hercomplete the full amount of training she possibly could.

Not long after the submission,she was accepted into the school.

It was here where she honed herabilities, mastering Evocation and excelling in the other arts. It was splendidin her own sense of the word and before long; she was an admirable student inthe eyes of teachers and students alike.

The school also happened to bewhere she met her best friend, a student by the name of Brius Amalar. He wasabout three years older, practicing in the miracles "bestowed" to himby the Goddess, St. Elendra. Brius also happened to be a master flautist, orflute-player.

The pair grew close to eachother and in the end, Brius chose to teach the younger person the art of themusical instrument he played. Isabella loved the flute and in the long run, shehad a love for Brius in the way a sister would love her brother. It wasn't longafter but eventually, Brius graduated, leaving the young girl to her owndevices in the college as well as unfinished training in the instrument.

It was at this time that Isabellaalso happened to start doing jobs for Tyranious. It wasn't anything to overexerting and it didn't mess with her studies too much. It was just simplethings that an Arcanist could do, mainly consisting of general evocationalentertainment as well as small monster corralling. It happened less frequentlythan Isabella would have liked but it was what Tyranious wanted and shecomplied because of it.

Within seven years, the girlfinally graduated the college at the age of sixteen and was seen as a fullrealized master of the arcane arts. She grew restless not having anything to dobesides the odd job here and there.

She wanted more than that andsooner than later, her mentor chose to bring her on a journey around theircountry.

The journey was a long one andconsisted of traveling through each of the separate provinces of Helvenand. Isabellaloved seeing the different ways of life in the single country and it amazed herhow people not that far apart could be so different. One town could be afishing village and a town or city not too far away was devoted to schooling oreven to business. It was interesting to say the least.

Better yet is the fact that thetwo still did the odd jobs they did before. Yes, it was for different kinds ofpeople and there were some jobs different than what they were used to, but itwas fun and interesting, which was something perfect in Isabella's own belief.Eventually, Isabella wanted to visit the other countries as well simply to seethe differences.

Unfortunately, the journey endedafter only two years.

The reason it ended the death ofIsabella's mother by arson fire. Isabella had been astonished to hear that thishad happened, especially during the time of Caspenalia, one of the most famousreligious holidays in the land.

Who would do such a thing? Shesoon found out not long after that it was a group of Perinthian terrorists. Her mother's life had ended and now all she had to remember her by was a couplepieces of jewelry, the clothing on her back, and simple memories.

With her mother dead, Isabella didn’t know what to do. Would she keep doing jobs with Tyranious or would she do something about it? Her mentor talked with her about it and with time, both decided to enter the war. Tyranious was sent to a group of commandos on one side of the fight under the Empire while Isabella joined a small group of free-running mercenaries.



Legend: Varras, the Eloquent Diplomat

Statistics:
Strength - 9
Dexterity - 12
Constitution - 13
Intelligence -14 (+2) 16
Wisdom -15
Charisma - 15

Abilities: (Total 4 points)

Major Arcana (3)
Primary: Evocation

Secondary: Conjuration,Abjuration

Tertiary: Transmutation,Illusion
Gives -----> Minor Brilliance+1 = Intermediate Brilliance
Gives-----> Talent (Flautist)The talent was learned during the time that Isabella attended the CollegiumMagiae from a brother figure named Brius.
Roleplay Sample: Just something really random and just a tad crazy...

Spoiler:

"Get away from me," David heard as he passed an alleyway. Turning to see who exactly the voice was, he saw something he probably shouldn't.

"Come on babe," a mansaid, pushing the girl into the alley wall, badgering her as he did so.

He was a burly and frighteningman, looking as if he could be one of those tough bikers David often saw goingaround the city. It was obvious that the man felt he could do whatever hewanted, even when the costs could be high.

The girl on the other hand wasthe complete opposite of her attacker. She was small and appeared to be themost fragile thing David had ever seen in his life. For prominent reasons,David saw that she needed protection.

"Why are you being likethis? I thought we were a good couple, didn't you?" The man looked at thegirl as if he couldn't possibly live without her.

David was terrified as he staredat the commotion. He hated people that would try and pick on someone smaller orof less strength than them, even if they had a so-called 'reason'. He believed,as a simple fact, that they were scum.

Looking past his fear, Davidtook a step forward only knowing that he needed to do something in some way,shape, or form, simply to protect the girl that was almost pinned to the wall.

"Hey," he called."Listen to the girl and get away from her." David didn't think thatthe call would happen to do much, but he seemed to at least get the attentionof both the attacker.

The man's face indicated hissurprise as he heard the call. He seemed to be not only surprised that someonespoke up, but more at the fact that someone as frail-looking as David wouldpossibly attempt to stand up to him and to be honest, David was shocked aswell. He would never see himself as the one who would try to stick up forsomebody at anytime but there he stood, doing the unexpected.

As her attacker stood in shock,the girl took her chance to get loose of his grip, barely getting more than ameter before he grabbed her arms once again. Whether it was because of the man'squick thinking or the fact that it may have caused her some pain, a smallsqueak escaped her mouth.

"What makes you think thatyou can stop me? I'm only trying to talk to my girlfriend for a little bit, youknow, just to make her know whose boss." The man gave David a toothy grinas he squeezed his 'girlfriend's' arm tighter, prepared to not let her getaway. It was disgusting.

David knew better than to admitthat there was absolutely no way he could stop him. "Well," Davidstarted, "There is the fact that I just called the cops."

"You're bluffing," theattacker said. "There's no way you could have called the po-po.Ultimately, the man was right and David was bluffing. The thing is, that's allDavid had going for him at the moment. The ability to bluff was his onlyweapon.

"What makes you think I'mnot telling the truth? This is New York and a cop could be here in a matter ofseconds if I call. I actually think there's one walking just down the street." David took a step out of the alley and squinted almost as if hereally saw a cop. All he could hope for is that the man would fall for it orthat the girl would simply take another chance, whichever would possibly work.

Fortunately, the man did the former and let her go. "Realize that I'm only doing this because I won't take any chances," the man said loathingly. Looking at the girl beside me,he began once again. "You better watch out for me honey, I don'tbelieve were exactly done talking."

With that, the guy turned around to head to the other side of the alley. He doesn't want to run into my fake cop, David thought. He wasn't merely taking chances, he did believeme.

As the man left the alley, David decided to do the same as he directed the girl to follow. "Where do you live?" he asked as they started to walk away. "I'd feel better if I knew you got home safely."

The girl looked at David as if she was surprised anyone would ever ask that. "A... at h... hishouse," she said.

David was alarmed at the thought that she could possibly live with that horrible man. The two had just met andyet, for some reason, he now felt responsible for her. He just couldn't explain the reason why.

"How about we go over there," he said as he pointed at a coffee shop. "We'll be able totalk over there."

The girl simply nodded and followed him, her eyes set to the ground. Her emotions were unreadable and David could only hope she would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Thank you," the girlsaid before taking a drink. The solemn in her voice was still there as the twosat at the table.

"Don't mention it,"David said. "It was the least bit I could do. By the way, my name's David." He reached his hand over the table, happy that the two had finallystarted a conversation.

"Tori," she saidtaking his hand.

"So could you tell me what's going on? I understand that it's not necessarily my business, but I want to know."

"Well... That was Luke. He's... He was my boyfriend. I broke up with him this morning after I found out that he was getting into some really bad stuff. As you saw, he didn't take it too kindly." All of the shyness in her voice was gone, replaced with new found confidence.

That change was rapid, David thought. Just moments ago she would jump at a single breeze from behind her. It was odd but David wanted to extol herfor the confidence. It was clear that she felt safe right then and instead of saying anything about it, he simply carried on with the conversation.

"So do you have a place to stay tonight?"

"No," said Tori."Like I told you, his place is my place."

David thought to himself for a moment. Tori definitely needed a place to stay and god forbid it be any where near her original place of stay. He only had one idea, but he wasn't to sure of it himself. "How about you come to my place for tonight? I can sleep on my couch and you can take my bed if you want." It was an idea, but only god knew what Tori would say to it.

Tori took her time as she thought over the idea. She ultimately had no knowledge of who exactly David was. For all she knew, he could be one of those crazy serial killers who cozied up to their victims before killing them. She shuddered at the thought but continued to think about it. So far, David had been nice to her and was far better than most of the men she knew.

The clock ticked away as she continued to think. It was a hard choice, but she knew what the best answer was. "If it's okay with you, I would like to stay at your place."

David nodded as she spoke up,giving him her acknowledgement. Tonight, she would be at his place and that was that.
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  #37    
Old Posted April 26th, 2012 (07:34 PM). Edited April 26th, 2012 by ThatWhiteKid.
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Sorry for being so distant-family stuff. I'm doing everything right now from my Kindle and it's sorta hard, so it'll take me about a half hour to finish up and clean it, and another to actually post it and then clean it up again and blah, because everything is there except history and stats so...

Oh, my computer's dead and I can't find the charger. Errrgh. Hate life a little bit. @_@

EDIT: Done! Well, it was tough but fun. Mostly because the best characters are tough to make. ;p
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  #38    
Old Posted April 27th, 2012 (05:22 AM).
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I'm still waiting on Yuukihime (and myself, as well =[) to finish sign-ups, and then I will initiate judging. It will likely be very difficult to decide easily, which is a good thing (for you)! Not so much for me, but that's okay.

@parallelzero: I still need to write how magic is actually performed, don't I... I will get on that very soon. 8|
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d.c. ii art assets belong to circus. text: tororo.
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  #39    
Old Posted April 27th, 2012 (07:26 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrus View Post
I'm still waiting on Yuukihime (and myself, as well =[) to finish sign-ups, and then I will initiate judging. It will likely be very difficult to decide easily, which is a good thing (for you)! Not so much for me, but that's okay.

@parallelzero: I still need to write how magic is actually performed, don't I... I will get on that very soon. 8|
Don't rush it. Since the signups aren't done and the RP isn't ready to go yet, there's no immediate need. XD
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Old Posted April 28th, 2012 (12:29 PM).
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Is there any general idea/date for when the RP will start? I understand that applicants (and you, of course! c: ) need time to produce the best work possible, I'm only wondering because I'm going on college visits out of the area over the next few days and my computer access may be limited.
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  #41    
Old Posted April 29th, 2012 (06:18 AM). Edited April 30th, 2012 by Cirrus.
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Don't worry, the tentative start date is probably some time the week after next, since I will also be going on an extended competition for 4 days in the middle of next week.

EDIT: So this is what is occurring.

My academic obligations are taking me elsewhere as well as into the realm of intense studying, so I will be incapacitated for about a week. Lack of activity here does not mean that I am dead (though the competition I am attending may very well strike me dead due to the stress - okay maybe not), though it does mean that I will be missing in action until May 8th.

Judging will unfortunately have to delay until that time. Until then, feel free to browse my own sign-up (which was done ... I don't remember when - sometime last week).
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そっとそっと口づけをして 涙あふれてく


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  #42    
Old Posted May 7th, 2012 (04:18 PM). Edited May 7th, 2012 by Cirrus.
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I'm back.

The verdict:

... I hate doing this, I really do, but it is a necessary evil. The time for rejections has come. =[

I considered the applicants for the position of Ciefe, and after some consultation with a certain friend of mine (someone different from the person who inspired the myth), unfortunately I will have to decline Brennan Elizaar Elivayne - one of the reasons is his personality, when I heard it described to me:

Quote:
"The first one smacks of 'he's a jerk and antisocial and calculating and can sing, shoot, and do math perfectly, but EVERYBODY LOVES HIM', which doesn't really make a lot of sense."
As well, there are quite a few spelling mistakes and a few problems with the flow of the writing.

Artemis Circe is very mechanically sound, and has the least number of mistakes among the three, but even though brevity is an art as well and your writing is more than acceptable, MattyJ, I must decline you as well; the sign-up is not quite as strong as its competitor, which brings me to ...

Acceptance for Viticari Nim. Welcome, Kiyoshi the Polar Bear, in the role of Ciefe. Your writing is quite solid, with only a few mistakes (which is okay, as I make mistakes as well ... : s), and the only fault my friend could really find with your sign-up was your background, which we've already discussed.

---

I'm still very unsure about the current candidates for Arianne, to be honest. I will wait a bit and see what comes of it, then maybe play her myself if I have to, but my current criticisms include blandness for Bella Aegle and lack of organized thought and syntax errors for Fiora Amarel.
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~あさきゆめみし君と~




さくらの色 いとしさの花 あさきゆめみし君と
そっとそっと口づけをして 涙あふれてく


pair · in tempore momenti · personal vloid playlist
d.c. ii art assets belong to circus. text: tororo.
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  #43    
Old Posted May 7th, 2012 (05:07 PM).
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Thanks anyway. Guess I'll have to polish myself up a bit. And don't hate having to do it. It's my fault - I had plenty of opportunity to clean it up and I didn't. Have fun guys!
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  #44    
Old Posted May 7th, 2012 (07:39 PM). Edited May 7th, 2012 by Cirrus.
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The first post has also been updated with how magic functions, for anyone interested; the update has been included below. Also, I realized that having "miracles" as a form of magic and not the name for its individual acts was incredibly silly, and that has now been revised to theurgy.

EDIT: Go read it in the main post, never mind - it's under [Workings of Magic].
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さくらの色 いとしさの花 あさきゆめみし君と
そっとそっと口づけをして 涙あふれてく


pair · in tempore momenti · personal vloid playlist
d.c. ii art assets belong to circus. text: tororo.
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  #45    
Old Posted May 7th, 2012 (10:41 PM).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrus View Post
Artemis Circe is very mechanically sound, and has the least number of mistakes among the three, but even though brevity is an art as well and your writing is more than acceptable, MattyJ, I must decline you as well; the sign-up is not quite as strong as its competitor, which brings me to ...
Thanks for all the effort you've put into this, Cirrus. I'm really looking forward to reading this RP regardless - I'd like to wish you (and all the participants) all the best for it!
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  #46    
Old Posted May 8th, 2012 (12:52 PM).
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chelia.blendy
 
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With the new information, I went through and edited chunks of Crea's background to promote her involvement in the church. I originally wrote the signup at 3am, and I found a lot of mistakes in my writing, so I fixed those at the same time. >.>;
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  #47    
Old Posted May 8th, 2012 (02:28 PM).
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That's like ... six hundred words more o_o.

A few small mistakes though, mostly lore-related (I'm not the clearest of people when I write lore);

Quote:
In Histria, one Castranalia morning, a girl with red hair was born to a pair of irresponsible parents.
Caspenalia? Or do you want one of the months? : o

Quote:
It proved to be an invaluable experience for the girl, learning directly from a exorcistati sancti,
The singular is exorcistatus sanctus (as indicated with the bracket with "sing. exorcistatus sanctus) - exorcistatus is also an acceptable abbreviation.

Quote:
She spent some of her time traveling to nearby churches in order to retain, even enhance her faith as she prayed for her tutor to return to her side. She expanded her repetoire [editor's note: sp.] of hymns, that would increase the effectiveness of the miracles she created, as well.
Consider revising that paragraph as well, I think - maybe some conjunctions are missing, but it doesn't seem quite right to me.

Everything else is very satisfactory. Thank you for bearing with my whimsical changes to my material =_=
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~あさきゆめみし君と~




さくらの色 いとしさの花 あさきゆめみし君と
そっとそっと口づけをして 涙あふれてく


pair · in tempore momenti · personal vloid playlist
d.c. ii art assets belong to circus. text: tororo.
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  #48    
Old Posted May 8th, 2012 (02:48 PM).
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chelia.blendy
 
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Alright, fixed again. >.>; I need to get back into old RP habits regarding triple checking, apparently.
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  #49    
Old Posted May 9th, 2012 (09:00 PM).
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Cirrus
dreaming a transient dream.
 
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I would like a roll call of sorts to occur, to make sure that everyone is still here; this roleplay is slated to begin this weekend, so please make your presence known sometime before then!

(parallelzero, you're exempt. : I)
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~あさきゆめみし君と~




さくらの色 いとしさの花 あさきゆめみし君と
そっとそっと口づけをして 涙あふれてく


pair · in tempore momenti · personal vloid playlist
d.c. ii art assets belong to circus. text: tororo.
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  #50    
Old Posted May 10th, 2012 (03:08 AM).
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Y'all makin' me paranoid and making me want to check my SU again. XDDD
/casually embraces my typos while checking in I am still here yeahhhh
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