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  #1    
Old January 17th, 2005, 12:46 PM
oni flygon's Avatar
oni flygon
:)
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Bittertown
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Nature: Lax
Um...hi...
It's been a while ever since I wrote a poem...
So...I hope you guys like this poem I wrote about a special person whom I miss in my life...

-Winds and her smile-

As I stood atop a hill
I felt the wind blow through my hair
It made me think of her
And of things my heart couldnt bear


The wind reminded me of her smile
A simple thing made in many ways
So beautiful and so innocent
Its the thing that made my days


The time I remember with her
Was the time when she sat next to me
With her long flowing hair untied
She was like a bird, oh so free

Shes different than any other girl
Her smile is so pure and so soothing
So gentle and so serene
So nave and so heart warming


What I want to see in this world
Is to once more see that smile
It makes my heart soar
And living life worthwhile


Winds and her smile
Oh so simple things in this Earth
Theyve been there together
Ever since our birth

They are the things that I love
Within my whole entire life
The free winds and her gentle smile
They make my mind with less strife
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  #2    
Old January 17th, 2005, 03:01 PM
Kelsey
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Awwwwwwwwwws, that was such a beautiful poem, oni. <3 I think it's sweet that you'd dedicate a poem to someone whom you loved so dearly. I'm sure if she were to read this poem now, she'd smile knowing you care.

I saw no spelling errors and your poem's flow is very well done. I really love this poem oni, it's very heartfelt indeed. <3

~Kelsey
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  #3    
Old January 17th, 2005, 03:11 PM
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MegaDitto
Windsor ™
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
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That was very deep and emotional.Great Job.
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  #4    
Old January 17th, 2005, 03:16 PM
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Mari
♠ [child] p r o d i g y
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: In a super~duper happy world with freakishly hyper people~! <33
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Waii~!

That was so sweet! I <3 how you expressed your fondness over her; it was so touching. I'd really love to see how she reacts.

And, as Kelsey said, there was no spelling errors and this poem is just so heartwarming! <3 I simply can't stand not re-reading it. =3
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  #5    
Old January 17th, 2005, 03:23 PM
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Sassydoll76
You want this?
 
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I love the poem good job keep goin
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  #6    
Old January 17th, 2005, 03:36 PM
oni flygon's Avatar
oni flygon
:)
 
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Ah...thanks so much, everyone! ;;

For a moment I thought that thread won't be discovered...>.>
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  #7    
Old January 17th, 2005, 03:38 PM
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MegaDitto
Windsor ™
 
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When a good poem is seen it's discovered.
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  #8    
Old January 17th, 2005, 03:49 PM
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Kyosuke
.·Simple Complexity
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Pickering, On
Age: 24
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Wow that thats nicely written, its easily seen that its from inside, with the words that you chose to the way that you wrote it. No complaints here, that was very good, and like I say, hard to critique because you're just writing what you feel.
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  #9    
Old January 19th, 2005, 01:29 AM
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Demonic Angel
I remember when I lost my mind
 
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Wow, very well written. o.o
So very deep and beautiful. Great job.
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  #10    
Old January 19th, 2005, 01:05 PM
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oni flygon
:)
 
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Thank you...
I did my best when writing this poem...even though I did it in a short time... ;;
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  #11    
Old January 19th, 2005, 01:13 PM
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Mr Cat Dog
Everything Will Be OK
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
It doesn't matter how long they take. Frosty once said to be that Ozymandias, supposedly the greatest poem ever written, was written in 15 minutes whilst the author was drunk. He gave this big long lecture to JA about it Most of my poems don't take long to write... although I am blowing my own trumpet XD As long sa htey come from the heart - I hate using that word when describing things like these - they'll be fine in the end
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  #12    
Old January 19th, 2005, 02:21 PM
Kelsey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oni flygon
Ah...thanks so much, everyone! ;;

For a moment I thought that thread won't be discovered...>.>
Awwwws, but how could it not be discovered? <3 This is a great poem, not to mention I'm in here 24/7 anyways. XD So I was only bound to discover it at some point. ^o^

~Kelsey
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  #13    
Old January 19th, 2005, 03:50 PM
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Stripes
TCG Master
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Kinda got lost when I ran into that last asteroid ;)
Age: 24
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As was I to discover this poem, and so I have. Great poem.
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  #14    
Old January 19th, 2005, 03:59 PM
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Miyu-chan
.::f l o w e r g i r l::.
 
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I love it. =3 I love your choice of words, which expresses your feelings for this special person in your life. =) Just beautiful. n_n
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