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  #476    
Old March 7th, 2013 (10:07 AM).
Vato Vato is offline
This Is Our Last Goodbye
Team Kanto
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
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Age: 17
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SU REVIEW TIME!!!

DragoShock - First things first. You may want to add spaces between sections, cause that way it will stop looking like a GIGANTIC wall of text

I see a few typos, nothing big, tough... Except for the robot-arm-thingy. See, Team Gaia is like all evil organizations in the sense that they are evil and stuff. Yet they are different in the sense that they don't run around cutting limbs away and stealing Linnone

The backstory has a few inconsistencies. He was born right next to the fast currents while his mother was trying to make it to hospital? Make it where? Pacifidlog is derpy enough as it is, so a hospital wouldn't be deserving to be called so if there was one, and Slateport is like, really, really far away. You could either explain that better, or just plain remove it and replace it. Your call. What I do want removed is the befriended Mightyena part. I've said it before: some Pokemon are total killing machines, and Mightyena is one of them. Perhaps replacing it with a Poochyena would work?

I'm also struggling over letting you join with the robotic arm, as I find it... kinda odd. Beside you don't tell much about it. Yes, he lost his arm, and got a new one... then what? Did he adapt correctly to that piece of cold steel wagging around. No phantom limb syndrome? Ye has to add some more sauce to yer steak! Make it interesting, make it awesome! ...Or just remove it. I'm cool with whatever...

Also, excuse any mean or rude comments. I did not meant for any part to be taken as something offensive. It's for you to improve and be a better RPer, after all :D

PS: NEW PAGE DANCE :3
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  #477    
Old March 8th, 2013 (03:49 PM).
DragoShock101 DragoShock101 is offline
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I'll edit it soon, it might be slightly inaccurate because I forgot how close Slateport was to the sky pillar. And the arm is just something I add, and team Gaia injured his arm, and they were simply trying to attack him.
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  #478    
Old March 9th, 2013 (08:39 PM).
Vato Vato is offline
This Is Our Last Goodbye
Team Kanto
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Juarez City, Mexico
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Nature: Lonely
Posts: 533
I have no problem with the arm, really. It just needs to be fleshed out better. And as I said, Gaia is not that desperate to do stuff just for the sake of doing it. I'll have to ask for a change in that part for something else, please
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  #479    
Old March 14th, 2013 (04:57 AM).
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Bleacher Bleacher is offline
Chaos Worshipper
Team Hoenn
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
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Nature: Gentle
Posts: 117
*clears throat* Testing.. 1, 2, 3.. *does a Harlem shake* Yeah! I'm back! *music stops* But unable to post before 22nd Mar. *music rolls again* And as for the compensation.. A BRAND NEW JOHTO BASED RP FOR YOU
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  #480    
Old March 14th, 2013 (06:21 AM).
Vato Vato is offline
This Is Our Last Goodbye
Team Kanto
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Juarez City, Mexico
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Nature: Lonely
Posts: 533
At least you're alive, Bleacher

As for the music *Harlem Shake suddenly ends, and Like A Stone from Audioslave plays*

Ahhh... Much better :D
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  #481    
Old March 14th, 2013 (08:31 AM).
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TornZero TornZero is offline
Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
Team Hoenn
 
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Okay, since it seems like it's only Bleacher right now, and if we ever get the IC going again, I think the only starters unavailable are Eli's Skitty and Ju Ju's Mudkipz.

So, yeah, there's a lot of spots available. xD
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  #482    
Old March 14th, 2013 (08:39 AM).
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deathbymanga deathbymanga is offline
Team Kalos
 
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can i join this thread with Slugma as my starter?
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  #483    
Old March 14th, 2013 (08:40 AM).
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TornZero TornZero is offline
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Team Hoenn
 
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No problem! Just make yourself a character sheet and we'll see if it qualifies!

Don't worry if it doesn't, though — you're able to try as many times as you want, and Vato and I will do our best to help you get it right on at least the second try. :D

As a note, and for the purpose of examples, this and this are what we're not looking for (at least not anymore).

This is a pretty good example of the average length we'd like to see.
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  #484    
Old March 14th, 2013 (08:42 AM).
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deathbymanga deathbymanga is offline
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can we already have Reburst? just wondering
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  #485    
Old March 14th, 2013 (08:45 AM).
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TornZero TornZero is offline
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You mean a Burst Heart? That's up to whether your sign-up justifies having one or not. Burst Hearts aren't really a commodity like Pokéballs are, so you have to have a good reason for having one.
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  #486    
Old March 14th, 2013 (08:46 AM).
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deathbymanga deathbymanga is offline
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alright, I'll try and make a good character then
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  #487    
Old March 14th, 2013 (12:11 PM).
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Team Johto
Gold Tier
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: England
Age: 18
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Ooooh a Hoenn RP :D can I please reserve a spot with Pikachu? Cheeeers
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  #488    
Old March 14th, 2013 (12:16 PM).
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We're no longer reserving spots, but you're free to grab up Pikachu if you get accepted before anyone else gets it! :D
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  #489    
Old March 14th, 2013 (02:02 PM). Edited March 16th, 2013 by Satan.EXE.
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Satan.EXE Satan.EXE is offline
King of the Hell
Team Unova
 
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∣ PROJECT: Eris
Signing-Up

Chapter Zero: Part Zero
PROJECT: Eris


Name: Eris
Age: 18
Gender: Female

Appearance: Eris is a young, thin, and well-proportioned girl at the age of eighteen. She has light skin, a pretty face, and burnt-amber eyes that seem to show almost red until you look up close. Her hair is short and black, somewhat of a bedhead appearance, though it seems to work for her. Seeing as she is stuck in Burst Form, her 'clothing' is always the same. Red and black themed armor-like attire, including a low-cut black shirt, silver-white fingerless gauntlets, red puffy sweats, and silver-white skintight boots that are made of some type of strong metal just like the gauntlets. These boots cause her footsteps to sound like metallic clings and clangs. The Burst Heart was dissolved into the small pendant around her neck, and no matter how hard she tries, she can't remove it. Her appearance has always had one of two effects on people; either they'd be terrified of her, or they'd laugh t her and tell her that it's not Halloween, she has an excellent costume, and things along those lines.

Personality: Eris has a certain longing for attention and friendship, as her history is lacking in things of that sort. Yet most people mock her or cower away because of the unremovable Bisharp Fusion. She hopes to find friends, and possibly even love, or at the very least some people who don't either fear her or laugh at her. Around others she is usually quiet, though this is a personal test she does to see who (if anyone) is interested in her. If someone starts a conversation (within reason) she'll likely become involved in it. She is slightly sheltered about a lot of things, and will decide on her own if she should ask about them or not. She enjoys her freedom and will willingly fight for it if she has to. She is modest, but very much enjoys it when she is complimented, whether it be her looks, her skills, or just about anything else. Some might consider her a bit of a tomboy, though this is likely because of her temper, as she is actually a very feminine girl. She dislikes things average people would consider gross or creepy, and enjoys the beauty of nature, and the creativity of buildings and architecture. She can grow silent and simply stare in awe at something like a field full of colorful flowers, or a skyscraper.

History: Eris is (unbeknownst to herself) the daughter of Team Gaia's Top Scientist. She was born in Lilycove, although the short amount of her life that she was there was before she could remember. Just before age five, her father brought her to Team Gaia's Laboratories, where she spent the next thirteen years of her life, before finally escaping at age seventeen. Those thirteen years were, for lack of better words, excruciating. She was forcibly fused with a Bisharp. It was caught by a Master Ball, and this caused a devastating effect: just as the Bisharp could not escape the ball, Eris cannot undo the form that has been given to her, and has retained the Bisharp-like appearance ever since the initial fusion. She was trained by Team Gaia's top scientists to become the team's greatest weapon. However, with her near-infinite potential, they hit a snag in the road. She was reluctant to follow most orders, and seemed to have more interest in the windows; they showed calm waters, tall trees, and gorgeous flowers. She was bribed with short walks outside in return for her obedience, and she enjoyed those walks. Her training she began to take more seriously, and she gained toned muscles yet kept her lean shape. She learned many new abilities, though she didn't stay for the full lessons. Her next walk, she managed to escape. For the next year or so, she began to explore Hoenn, taking in the vast imagery everywhere she went. She looked to destroy Team Gaia for ruining her childhood, her appearance, and any chance she could have had at making friends. She also travels in hopes that she can find friends and possibly love.

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  #490    
Old March 15th, 2013 (08:11 AM). Edited March 15th, 2013 by deathbymanga.
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deathbymanga deathbymanga is offline
Team Kalos
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 131
Name: Rick Cache
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Appearance:
Spoiler:

Personality: Rick is a book-smart type of person. He doesn't like battling and would much rather spend his days studying and reading philosophy than fighting with captive Pokemon. This tends to be evident in Rick's passive attitude towards life: He doesn't like to fight with people, either with words, actions, or pokemon. But that doesn't make him a push-over, rather it tends to make Fred very passive-aggressive. Fred does have a soft spot for women though, doing whatever it is that they tell him to do, so long as it isn't ridiculous, and has shown that when he does fight, he does enjoy it. Rick doesn't really care about finding love though, despite his attitude towards women, rather, he just got yelled at by his mother so often that any woman, talking to him in a stern voice, will get him to do what they want, provided it isn't ridiculous. Rick considers it to be a low form of intellect to call someone a coward for not wanting to battle, since he would much rather be reading anyway. But Rick does have a tendency to run from fights on occasion should he get pestered enough when it happens. Despite Rick's lack of experience, he is incredibly well-read, having memorized all Pokemon stats and abilities and available moves himself, which means that he is very good at making strategies, even against enemies with significantly more battle experience.

History: Rick's father left the house to relive his dream of being a Pokemon Master. The youngest in his family, Rick's mother had a weak heart but a sharp tongue, while his brother, Ross, was a deadbeat who would brag all night long about how he beat trainers all the time, and then asked for more money cause he lost it all battling. Rick's father said one last thing to him before he left, patting his shoulder and telling him this. "Son, people will always laugh or scowl at you for doing things against the norm and I want you to know this. If you spend your days worrying about how people will think about you, you'll never think about yourself, and you are the only one who knows what's best for yourself."

Ross soon left as well, saying he had gotten a nice, good paying job with some eco-friendly company, saying smell ya later and ran off. Rick's mother hated the idea of Rick becoming a Pokemon Trainer, so when he turned 11, she took all of their savings and sent him to a Private school, telling him to get a good degree and not to waist his life battling. And as Rick went through his classes, getting great grades, in everything, he was always being pestered by classmates to battle him.

Then, one day, word came out the Proffessor Birch was coming to the school to give away a Pokemon to one lucky trainer. Rick didn't care about that, but when he started getting yelled at by some young woman to do some battling test, he couldn't say no, so he did it and passed it. Birch then showed up, saying that he had heard about how skilled he was, but needed to see for it himself, so he had his assistant make him fight. He tossed him a Pokeball containing a Slugma inside. He said, as he left, that maybe having a Fire Pokemon will give him some passion in his life.

When Rick turned 18, and was about to graduate, his brother showed up wearing a Team Gaia uniform. He threw some weird gemstone at Rick and told him to never let Gaia have it. The stone didn't look anything special, other than the fact that it was pretty and geometrically shaped. What Rick did not know was that this was an empty Burst Heart. The next day, Rick got word of how his brother was murdered by Team Gaia. Realizing the value of the stone, but also knowing that he can't just hand the stone back over to Gaia, Rick finished his courses and graduated early, and made his way to see Proffessor Birch, hoping that he could him him out
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  #491    
Old March 15th, 2013 (08:50 AM).
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Satan.EXE Satan.EXE is offline
King of the Hell
Team Unova
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: C:\
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Well, Vato, while I await the results of my sign-up (Yes, I came back!) I'd like you to know that I've made a banner specially for this RP!





Code:
[CENTER][title="Join Vato's RP, ReBURST!"][URL="http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=287157"][IMG]http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u665/WolfOfEve/Roleplay/RP/ReBURST/ReBURSTmini.png[/IMG][/URL][/title][/CENTER]

It includes A background of a Zekrom-Fusion, a "Burst Heart" on the left, and some fitting text on the right. Simple, maybe, but I think it turned out well.

You can also copy/paste the code I provided into the first OOC page, if you'd like others to put it in their signatures as well.
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  #492    
Old March 15th, 2013 (11:14 AM).
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Khawill Khawill is offline
Swaggins
Team Kalos
Silver Tier
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: The Cave of Hymns
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Posts: 1,490
Vato I will apologize for my departure, which was caused by a block in progress that I could make (and lack of interaction). Thus I wish to restart from the same character, though back in the town, instead of where I left her.


Name: Sara Lain
Age: 16
Gender: Female

Appearance: Sara is a very brightly dressed girl, she loves to wear solid colors mostly green and blues. She likes to have designs of normal type Pokemon on her hairband that holds back her long brown hair. She never wears a dress, always wearing t-shirts and jeans or skirts are typical. Her eyes are hazel complementing her gentle facial features. She is lean and fit, favoring to be slender and cut rather than big and bulky to easily maneuver. Her belief that the more she wears, the less efficient it is to do her art, thus she prefers simple clothing; though she always carries a jacket in her backpack for things such as a makeshift blanket or rainguard. On the other hand she loves to decorate her hair, putting all manner of beads and clips to make it look pretty to her. She also wears sneakers meant for running whenever she goes outside.

Personality: She is the exact opposite of calm, always eager to move to the next place. Her problems stem from this inability to have patience. She is reckless in a battle and usually wins from last ditch efforts and avoidance. She herself is a proficient hand-to-hand fighter and can hold her own in a fight. She is not aggressive though and is polite to adults, though she sees herself as superior to people her own age. She has an odd obsession with normal type pokemon. She trains hard and prefers not to always use pokemon unless it is against other pokemon. She also has bad spending habits; tending to overspend, slowing her journey as she often needs to find miscellaneous jobs in cities. She doesn't know how to live on the land so she often tries to rush to cities and towns as fast as possible to escape camping out. If she does get caught outside she doesn't mind resorting to sleeping against a tree though she never likes to stay in forests.

History: Sara came from Pyrite Town in Orre when she was 12. In Orre she would constantly have to fight pro-Cipher kids and sometimes even aggressive shadow pokemon because she would snoop around and steal from them in the Under. Sara herself despised Cipher and what they did to pokemon. She was asked by the Kids Grid to assist them but didn't see their methods as useful and declined. Her mother was a traveling entertainer acrobat; and she wanted Sara to follow in her footsteps. So at the early age of 5 Sara's mother taught Sara and trained her. Sara then created her own crude martial art out of the skills her mother taught her to help defend herself, furthering the problems she caused in the Under. Her mother didn't like how she was fighting so much and especially worried when she came home with bruises. One day a cipher admin told her mother that if they didn't leave they would hurt Sara. Her mother took this as a chance to get away and convinced the admin to pay for them to leave to Hoenn. Moving to Hoenn meant Sara couldn't fight against Cipher but her mother convinced her that living here was the only safe way they could live. Even in their modest apartment in Rustboro City Sara's mom is happy, Sara on the other hand spent two years angry and training so she could one day go back to Orre. But then she heard of a new group here in Hoenn, one that uses weapons to hurt people and special pokemon. She reasoned that they were more dangerous than Cipher and is dedicated to taking them down. She convinced her mother that this was her reason for being there, and reluctantly her mother agreed on one condition: only if she would bring pokemon to help her. Her mother reasoned that a pokemon would be safer than going alone and may make her a better trainer. Sara happily accepted and began to become more like herself, training out of drive instead of anger. She perfected her fighting style and spent her time looking for a pokemon. The one problem she had with that was, she couldn't purchase a pokeball because her family didn't have enough money even with all the odd jobs she did and the money sent from her father in Orre (who was a scientist working on making Orre more habitable for pokemon). When she was called by Professor Birch with the promise of a starting pokemon she saved up money for food on the journey, and kissed her mother goody with the promise that she would come back making her mother and her father proud.
On her way to Littleroot she passed through Petalburg city and met Norman, the gym leader there. He allowed her to watch him battle, this made Sara become fascinated by normal type pokemon and see Norman as an idol. She vowed to become a pokemon master along with her goal to help take down Team Gaia. Norman saw her off and gave her a single pokeball. She ran as fast as she could to the start of her adventure.
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  #493    
Old March 15th, 2013 (11:36 AM).
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TornZero TornZero is offline
Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
Team Hoenn
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In your pantry, eatin' your delicious cake.
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,139
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Well, you didn't need to resubmit the sheet. Sara was already accepted, so we'll just add you back to the list. You can continue with the same Pokémon you had before, if you can find them.

Wolfy, I already told you you'll be waiting for Vato's final judgement, since Gaia's boss is out of my hands.

deathbymanga, I'll get to your sign-up soon, but from a glance it looks like you worked quite a bit on the history. A little expansion on the personality would be helpful, though, since it's not that big.
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  #494    
Old March 15th, 2013 (12:01 PM).
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Satan.EXE Satan.EXE is offline
King of the Hell
Team Unova
 
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Quote originally posted by TornZero:
Wolfy, I already told you you'll be waiting for Vato's final judgement, since Gaia's boss is out of my hands.
I was already aware of that...?
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  #495    
Old March 15th, 2013 (12:02 PM).
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TornZero TornZero is offline
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Team Hoenn
 
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I know; I just didn't want to leave you out since I was already dealing with the other two. :D *Inclusion!*
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  #496    
Old March 15th, 2013 (12:46 PM).
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deathbymanga deathbymanga is offline
Team Kalos
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 131
I edited my personality, so you should be able to accept it now when you look it over
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  #497    
Old March 15th, 2013 (02:23 PM).
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Crunch Punch Crunch Punch is online now
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Team Johto
Gold Tier
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: England
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,150

There are cat videos on the Internet! ehmergerd

Name: Scyke Ick

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Appearance: Scyke isn't attractive nor ugly; his just average looking. His around 5'10" and has a lean body. He rocks a white head band which has a black Pokeball design on it, which is wrapped over his messy, spiked black hair. Scyke has brilliant red eyes which does pop out sometimes, and he considers this to be his best feature. Scyke is always seen with a grin, whatever the situation. He has a faint scar on his cheek from something that happened in the past.

Apparel-wise, Scyke wears a red tee with a grey long-sleeve underneath. He also wears dark blue cargo jeans and standard white sneakers with red accents. When it comes to clothes Scyke isn't too fussed and just about wears anything that is in his closet.

Personality: Sckye is carefree and defines the saying "we'll cross that bridge when it comes". His confident yet modest, friendly and can easily get along with anyone. Scyke can be sometimes oblivious to other people's emotions; for example, if a girl finds him attractive it would take centuries for Scyke to even get a hint about it. This kind of happy-go-lucky personality makes Scyke easily likable by most people, but also makes him more prone to being detested by bullies and such just for being cheerful all the time. Scyke can get easily embarrassed by compliments and such, but isn't gullible at all. His ambitious in whatever he does, including his new goal to conquer all the gyms in the Hoenn region, and isn't easily backed down.

History: Scyke origins lies in the seaside city of Lilycove, and throughout the generations of the Icks every first son had became a sailor, including Scyke's dad. Scyke never had wanted to become a sailor; he has forgettable memories of always becoming sea-sick when he was young whenever his dad took the family out for a ride. One time, a Wingull had came down to eat a piece of dropped toast that it had targeted; it was actually Sckye who had dropped it. When the seagull-like Pokemon came down to sweep it up however, it's beak had sliced Scyke's cheek when he bent down to pick the toast up. He was about six then, and after that Scyke always has had a dislike for anything that looks like a seagull. Fortunately for Sckye, his older brother Matt, who is around four years older, was chosen to carry on the family tradition and that left Scyke having the opportunity to do whatever he wanted.

Scyke's fascination with Pokemon battles came around when his dad's ship started carrying trainers from Lilycove City towards the newly-formed Battle Frontier. Sometimes Scyke's father would take his youngest kid to tag along with him to show the finer points of sailing, but Scyke was never really interested about that and, being as enthusiastic as he was, always talked with the passengers who were boarding the ship. From young and talented trainers to more experienced, older ones, Scyke heard many different types of stories about all of their journeys, and that just made Scyke more and more thrilled about going to journeys with Pokemon and battling with them, and when he met a certain trainer who had acquired all the gym badges, Scyke promised himself to be just like him one day.

Scyke is oblivious to Burst or anything to do with it, and doesn't possess a Burst Heart.
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  #498    
Old March 15th, 2013 (09:42 PM).
Vato Vato is offline
This Is Our Last Goodbye
Team Kanto
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Juarez City, Mexico
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Nature: Lonely
Posts: 533
I hate it when PC logs me out when I'm about to reply T.T ---

Anyways:

WolfOfEve: PROJECT Eris is PENDING. Just change the part where you say she's the daughter of Team Gaia's leader, as I have already planned a lot of stuff involving him by now, afterwards, you'll be good to go

deathbymanga & Scyke - You two guys are in! :3 Congratz
Now, choose your starter Pokeymanz, the list of available ones should be more accurate than ever now :3

Khawill - You gotz it, bro! Ye iz back! :D Feel free to either resume or restart your journey

Also, aI'll post a recap and try to pick up where the story left so that the IC comes back from the death AS A ZOMBIE! so trhat you can post ASAP!
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  #499    
Old March 15th, 2013 (10:00 PM).
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deathbymanga deathbymanga is offline
Team Kalos
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 131
wait, didn't i already choose it? I said that Birch gave me a slugma, unless i get a starter besides my pokemon
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  #500    
Old March 15th, 2013 (10:10 PM).
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TornZero TornZero is offline
Resident Yuri-ism Cult Leader
Team Hoenn
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In your pantry, eatin' your delicious cake.
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,139
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The events of the history weren't completely clear on whether Birch had left the Slugma with Rick, but you're welcome to take it to Littleroot Town and have Birch tell Rick to keep it.

However, I would like to see the murder of his brother elaborated on. It shouldn't be an actual murder, since he has intel that Team Gaia would need, but if you'd like it to be sort of a "faked death" situation, feel free to PM me and I'd be happy to help you give it some more meaning. (Maybe we'll even give Rick's brother more use than just being in a body bag. :D)
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I will be moving my account to Songbird over the course of immediately. The signature will stay as is for posterity and reference.
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