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  #1    
Old January 26th, 2005, 04:53 PM
Kyosuke's Avatar
Kyosuke
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This is a new story that has been in my head for a few days (yes I'm writing another one XD), it deals with a 15 year old girl who was "jailed" for causing a huge situation in the school, due to her depression and wanting revenge for those who made fun of her.

Its rated 14+, because it deals with certain situations that a teenager might experience, and not suited for people under that age. I've decided to put this in chapters, because there is much to tell and I don't want to make it into a single one-shot

Chapter 1

"Katerina Thomas, wake up you have a visitor." The guard said to the prisoner inside the correctional institute, lightly tapping on the cold painted bars.

"Huh.." The young teenager mumbled in her sleep, laying on the rough prison bed.

"I said... wake up you have a visitor who wants to talk to you." The guard said in a more bold voice, then she already had.

The teenager sat up from her bed rubbing her eyes, with her long brunette hair covering much of her face including her eyes. "Who is it?" she spoke up in a soft voice, that was barely heard.

"I think its someone from the press, who wants to ask you a few questions." The thin guard said, while getting out his keys to open the door of the prison.

The young girl then stood up and stretched her arms, in a wide "V" position. The prison that she stayed at was full of girls her age, some younger, many older. She got along with the majority of them, but a few gave her trouble from time to time, but she handled herself properly in there to not be sexually harassed, as many girls did every day.

"Not again, I don't care to talk to these people anymore." She sighed while sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Well get use to it Kit, because they'll just keep coming as time goes by." The guard said in a more positive tone.

The short and thin teenage girl liked this particular prison guard Sharon, she was one of the few "minority" (if that's what you want to call them), guards at the institute, and she got along with her the best. The rest of them didn't care what happened to the inmates if a fought broke out or anything like that.

As the painted bars slid to the left, the teenager stepped out of the dimly lit hallway, and followed Sharon to the visitor room. As she walked in front of Sharon, she couldn't help but notice the other inmates watching her in their cells, since not many outsiders came to visit anyone else before she came in.

When Sharon finally unlocked the heavy blue door that separated jail (as she called it), and the outside world (as she also called it), there was a sense of relieve and freedom, that overwhelmed her pale body.

The visitor room had a setup similar to a cafeteria, with many picnic style benches that are attached to the table, surrounded by prison guards that guarded in case of an escape or an outsider gives something to the "prisoner". Above many white lights lit the large room, that was about the size of a classroom.

As the teenager walked with her grey "prison" jumpsuit that read " 258716" on the back, she noticed a man who was clearly from the press wearing a large brown trench coat, that almost touched the ground as he was seated, with a matching hat rested next to him exposing the strands of hair he had left on his bald head.

"Katerina Thomas?" he spoke out in a normal subtle voice.

"I believe that's me." she responded sarcastically, before taking a seat across from him.

He stared at her hazel eyes, and pale face as she stared back into his, waiting for the usual question to "break the ice" between them.

"My name is Dave Maine, So are you ok in here, they treating you good? He asked, trying not to sound like a reporter, but more like a friend.

"'I'm ok so far, I obviously don't want to be here anymore." She responded rudely.

"Hmm.." he went to himself, smiling a bit, "So tell me...," he started off before taking out his pen and orange notepad he had on the inside pocket of his coat, "How did you end up in here?"

"Like you don't already know...." Katerina said laughing a bit with a smile on her face, "But I'll tell you from the start, since that's why you're here" Katerina said slouching on the table, trying to get a bit more comfortable.

"It all started off when I was just in pre-school, I was always different from the other kids, a bit of a loner and I wanted to be by myself all the time. It was the same at home too, when my parents would set up "playdates" for me to play with various kids in the neighbourhood, but even then I refused to and stayed by myself.

It didn't bother me until I was in real school, that I noticed some kids would whisper and laugh then look in my direction, showing that they were talking about me. It didn't bother me until, Amanda Strodes ridiculed me in front of the class when she pulled out an adult magazine from my bag, and showed it to the class.

"So you're a lesbian?" Dave asked, carefully trying not to offend her.

"No, a bisexual." Katerina responded boldly.


"Eww look what Kit has (everyone called her Kit, even though her name was Katerina), these are two women and they're kissing!" Amanda yelled so everyone including the teacher, Ms. Elliot heard.

The whole class erupted in laughter and "Eww", as the teacher quickly grabbed the magazine from her and strangely, placed it in her desk drawer instead of reporting it to the teacher.

Ever since that grade 4 incident, the kids found other ways to tease her calling her stupid and ugly as the years passed by leading up to grade 8 where she tried to commit suicide but failed, then reconsidered that she should live.

"Tell me about high school." Dave said, while writing notes down on his notepad.

"Well in high school it was even worse, that's when I began to feel those urges....."

As the bell rang for the first day of high school, Katerina looked at the timetable that she had received, and went to her first class which was history. When she arrived, Amanda Strodes was there with her blonde hair and baby blue clothes that matched down to her shoes. She looked up from the noisy classroom to find that Katerina was there, and whispered something next to a boy who was sitting next to her, and he laughed without looking at her, but she knew it was about her. She took her seat at the back and stayed there for the whole year.

As a month passed by, Katerina was still unpopular and didn't have any friends, but by now the majority of the school knew that a grade 9 girl was bisexual thanks to Amanda's big mouth, and other people who went to her old school. She was teased everyday in someway or another whether it being that she was a loner, or not attractive to the other boys and girls, she hated it and couldn't take it anymore she knew one day she would snap.

When it was time for the school dance and a lot of people either had dates, or friends to go with, the only thing Kit could do was stay home depressed. Katerina wanted revenge on the world badly, and she began her plan of revenge on the school...
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  #2    
Old January 27th, 2005, 06:30 PM
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Very interesting~ Though I would have liked it better if you showed more about why Kit sought revenge. o.o; The transistion to flashbacks were really nice too.

And oooh, the cliffhanger! xD Love it... =3

*wants to find out what happens*
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Old January 27th, 2005, 06:42 PM
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Thanks Miyu-chan, I knew someone would like it .

Oh you'll see that in the next chapter XD. I'm still working on it, and more of the flashbacks to why she had to do what she had to do. *not giving any details '*
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Old January 27th, 2005, 06:49 PM
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That sure sounds good LT. Look forward to more of it.
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Old January 28th, 2005, 01:32 AM
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I love it =3 A few punctuation mistakes and stuff but meh. I understood the story.

Really good and suspenseful~ I'll come back and read the next chapter.

Le travail de Nice !

~Kylie
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Old January 28th, 2005, 06:02 PM
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Here is chapter 2 that I have been working on for a while, it explains more of Katerina's past and part of her plan for revenge. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

"What urges did you begin to feel, in high school?" Dave asked crossing his arms across his stomach.

"Well everytime I heard someone talk about me, I would get the urge to....kill. I've experienced so much ridicule in my life, from the magazine being found in my bag in fourth grade, to being embarrased at graduation." Katerina said while moving some of her dangling hair that began to cover her face.

"Tell me about the graduation incident." Dave said while preparing his notes.

"It was in grade 8 when the graduation dance was coming up, seeing as how I had no friends, I sort of felt lonely that everyone would be dancing and having a good time except me, so if anyone asked me I would have accepted happily just knowing that I have someone to enjoy it with." Katerina said still slouched on the hard bench, now staring at the small pattern of black dots that covered the surface...

"Graduation is less then 2 weeks away, make sure you all pass your subjects if you want to graduate into highschool." Mrs. Radovic, the grade 8 teacher announced to the class while they were working on some math problems.

Mrs. Radovic was at least in her 50's, and it showed greatly in her wrinkled face, and old fasioned dress style diffrent from the other staff at Katerina's school. Her protruding nose stuck out like some sort of carrot, on a snowman and her hair was always short with grey patches throughout. Everyday she wore her usual, long black skirt that went as far to cover parts of her ankles, and kept her white blouse tucked in.

She was a favourite amoung the many teachers Katerina had in the past, because even though she was old she had great knowlege, so thats who she went to, to help deal with depression she faced everyday.

The wide class that Katerina stayed it, was filled with students as the school was slightly smaller then others in the area, but her class in particular had about 27 students that filled the rows of desks lined up in many straight lines. Katerina did really well in school, because of her free time and little distractions so her marks always ranged from 85% to 95%. Amanda Strodes who teased her the most, was in every single class that she had, it was common for this to happen, but thats who Katerina disliked the most, near to hating her.

"Let's get Katerina at grad, it'll be funny to pull a prank on her before high school." Amanda said to three of her friends sitting around her at the back of the class, Kristen, and Keisha, and Kelly. Katerina didn't mind these girls as they just followed everything Amanda did.

"At grad though? Thats going a bit too far don't you think?" Kristen whispered in the silence, sounding a bit sympothetic.

"She's an ugly b****, nobody even talks to her and proberly never will, what a stupid loner....." Amanda whispered, quite harshly.

"So what ended up happening, at the graduation dance?" Dave asked, looking down at the orange notepad he was writing on to, revealing the speckled coloured scaps on his semi-bald head that refelcted the ceiling lights.

"We went to a basement restaurent, and the dinner wasn't too bad, even though all we had was chicken strips. I was sitting at the "loners table", as people called it because when other kids pick their friends to sit with them, they're are always the kids with no friends who get grouped together. But throughout the whole dinner, I noticed how Brendan Mchammond, a popular boy in my class, kept looking my way when he sat at the girls' table, with Amanda and her "sidekicks"....

"When its time to slow dance, just go over there and ask her to dance to make her feel good, then we'll do the rest." Amanda whispered into Brendan ear, due to the loud music that played by the DJ that was hired for entertainment.

Brendan was popular with everyone at her school, he seemed to get along really well with the girls, and the guys. Even some of the geeks and teachers were friends with him. He had alot of hair gel in his black hair due to the occasion of graduation, and a black suit that pretty much all the guys wore that night.

When it was time for couples and friends to slow dance, kids flooded the dance floor dancing close together moving stifly to the romantic music that blared in throughout the room.

As Katerina wore her long white dress that her mother bought for her, and having her brunnete hair done in a salon that flowed beatifully down her back, she watched everyone dance, including some of the teachers who just danced to be funny in front of the kids in her class, and the other grade 8 kids who graduated with them.

Brendan appoached her with his black suit, and asked, "Hey Kit, want to dance?".

Katerina looked up, and couldn't help but feel wonder and suspicion to why out of all the girls, he asked to dance with her based on his popularity. But knowing that this was her only chance to be close to a boy (other then her fantasy's), she took it, "Ok" she responded still dumbfounded to why he asked her.

When she stood up, dragging some of the dress behind her, she followed him to the dance floor and he took her arm to dance slowly with her. Katerina didn't know what she was doing, so she just followed what Brendan was doing while she stared into his beedy black eyes.

After the song finished, Katerina didn't know what to feel because she never been so close to a boy before so she just stood there.

"Katerina, come hang out with me and my friends in the hall!" Breden yelled into her ear while the music blared.

"What?!" She yelled back, now with a smile on her face.

"Just follow me!" Brendan yelled back.

Katerina followed him, and felt a strange feelign in her, "Is this is what happiness feels like?" She asked herself while she followed Brendan thorugh the restaurant hallways, still having a bright smile on her pretty face that showed her pearly white teeth.

When they reached the end, Katerina was shocked to find what seemed to be a pillowcase over her head. She struggled and screamed hoping that Brendan would help her, but the pillowcase was held tightly over her head so she couldn't get it off.

She was pushed into the girls washroom with the pillowcase still tightly wrapped around her head, of what seemed to be 3 people and had her head dunked into the toilet. Luckily, the toilet was already flushed so her head didn't have to touch human waste. As she screamed and shouted while gurgling the toilet water that came in contact with her mouth, she heard a voice say, "Don't you think that's enough?" Katerina knew that voice, and it was Kelly, one of the "sidekicks" that followed Amanda around.

"Idiot!" Amanda yelled, to her friend with amugst all the commotion that was going on, "Let's get the hell out of here, before were caught!"

All four girls ran out, and left Katerina in the girls' washroom with the pillowcase over her head. As she slid it off, all she could do was cry for being so stupid with the water mixed in on her face, and shorty passed out to having her head hit numerous times in the struggle. She shortly woke up in her bed with her parents and paramedics around her...

There was a moment of silence through the visitor room, with Sharon, one of the guards, over hearing Katerina telling the story for the 9th time, stood there without an emotion on her face. "You have 30 minutes Mr. Maine." She finally spoke out in a soft voice.

Even though Katerina told this story many times in the past, she's a human being just like everybody else and tears slowly streamed down her soft cheeks, that she quickly rubbed away before she went any deeper with her emotions.

Katerina delt with it by herself in highschool without any conselling, and it destroyed her inside emotionally. The teasing had to stop and she only knew of one way... voilence.

There was a safe in her basement, because her father worked in the military officer, which had several supplies in there in case of emergency, and protection from criminals. Katerina knew there were some violent things in that safe, but the combination was the only thing stopping her.

One day after school when both her mother and father were at work, Katerina sneaked into the dark basement, dodging the various old washing machines and refridgerators that coverd the area in the darkness. As she pulled on the thin white rope that turned on the light, the brown heavy safe was neatly tucked away in an area underneath the stairs with the combination numbers on a dial at the front.

Katerina tried various possible combinations such as birthdays, holiday dates, etc., there was no success at all. Then a thought hit her, she remembered how her father always said he first entered the army in March 12 1987.

She slowly moved the dial to "3" from zero then turned it counter clockwise to "12", "19", and finally "87". There was a click and she opened the handle that swung open with a creaking noise. Inside there was various weapons, such as nightsticks, pistols, shotguns, and machineguns.

A small smirk appeared on her face...
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  #7    
Old January 28th, 2005, 11:08 PM
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I found some spelling errors... like the one in the last sentence~ =x;

But I loved it~ =3 Katrina was really real... I can understand how she felt...

This scenario reminds me of Carrie somehow... xD;
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Old January 29th, 2005, 12:15 PM
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Oh crap, I should really spellcheck this >>', but MS Word isn't working for me though XD.

Thanks Miyu-chan, I'm trying to make iKaterina as real to life as I can, and trying to take out the "fictional" part of it .
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Old January 29th, 2005, 02:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiquidThunder
This is a new story that has been in my head for a few days (yes I'm writing another one XD), it deals with a 15 year old girl who was "jailed" for causing a huge situation in the school, due to her depression and wanting revenge for those who made fun of her.

Its rated 14+, because it deals with certain situations that a teenager might experience, and not suited for people under that age. I've decided to put this in chapters, because there is much to tell and I don't want to make it into a single one-shot

Chapter 1

"Katerina Thomas, wake up you have a visitor." The guard said to the prisonor inside the correctional institute, lightly tapping on the cold painted bars.

"Huh.." The young teenager mumbled in her sleep, laying on the rough prison bed.

"I said... wake up you have a visitor who wants to talk to you." The guard said in a more bold voice, then she already had.

The teenager sat up from her bed rubbing her eyes, with her long brunette hair covering much of her face including her eyes. "Who is it?" she spoke up in a soft voice, that was barely heard.

"I think its someone from the press, who wants to ask you a few questions." The thin guard said, while getting out his(Isn't the guard a girl? If so, then it should be 'her' XD) keys to open the door of the prison.

The young girl then stood up and stretched her arms, in a wide "V" position. The prison that she stayed at was full of girls her age, some younger, many older. She got along with the majority of them, but a few gave her trouble from time to time, but she handled herself properly in there to not be sexually harrased(harassed), as many girls did every day.

"Not again, I don't care to talk to these people anymore." She sighed while sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Well get use to it Kit, because they'll just keep coming as time goes by." The guard said in a more positive tone.

The short and thin teenage girl liked this particular prison guard Sharon, she was one of the few "minority" (if thats what you want to call them), guards at the institute, and she got along with her the best. The rest of them didn't care what happened to the inmates if a fought(fight) broke out or anything like that.

As the painted bars slid to the left, the teenger stepped out of the dimly lit hallway, and followed Sharon to the visitor room. As she walked infront(in front) of Sharon, she couldn't help but notice the other inmates watching her in their cells, since not many outsiders came to visit anyone else before she came in.

When Sharon finally unlocked the heavy blue door that seperated(separated) jail (as she called it), and the outside world (as she also called it), there was a sense of relieve(relief) and freedom, that overwhelmed her pale body.

The visitor room had a setup similar to a cafeteria, with many picnic style benches that are attached to the table, surronded(surrounded) by prison guards that guarded in case of an escape or an outsider gives something to the "prisoner". Above many white lights lit the large room, that was about the size of a classroom.

As the teenager walked with her grey "prison" jumpsuit that read " 258716" on the back, she noticed a man who was clearly from the press wearing a large brown trench coat, that almost touched the ground as he was seated, with a matching hat rested next to him exposing the strands of hair he had left on his bald head.

"Katerina Thomas?" he spoke out in a normal subtle voice.

"I believe thats me." she responded sarcastically, before taking a seat across from him.

He stared at her hazel eyes, and pale face as she stared back into his, waiting for the usual question to "break the ice" between them.

"My name is Dave Maine, So are you ok in here, they treating you good? He asked, trying not to sound like a reporter, but more like a friend.

"'I'm ok so far, I obviously don't want to be here anymore." She reponded rudely.

"Hmm.." he wne to himself, smiling a bit, "So tell me...," he started off before taking out his pen and orange notepad he had on the inside pocket of his coat, "How did you end up in here?"

"Like you don't already know...." Katerina said laughing a bit with a smile on her face, "But I'll tell you from the start, since thats why you're here" Katerina said slouching on the table, trying to get a bit more confortable(comfortable).

"It all started off when I was just in pre-school, I was always diffrent(different) from the other kids, a bit of a loner and I wanted to be by myself all the time. It was the same at home too, when my parents would set up "playdates" for me to play with various kids in the neighboorhood, but even then I refused to and stayed by myself.

It didn't bother me until I was in real school, that I noticed some kids would whisper and laugh then look in my direction, showing that they were talking about me. It didn't bother me until, Amanda Strodes ridiculed me in front of the class when she pulled out an adult magazine from my bag, and showed it to the class.

"So you're a lesbian?" Dave asked, carefully trying not to offend her.

"No, a bisexual." Katerina responded boldly.


"Eww look what Kit has (everyone called her Kit, even though her name was Katerina), these are two women and they're kissing!" Amanda yelled so everyone including the teacher, Ms. Elliot heard.

The whole class erupted in laughter and "Eww", as the teacher quickly grabbed the magazine from her and strangely, placed it in her desk drawer insted of reporting it to the teacher.

Ever since that grade 4 incident, the kids found other ways to tease her calling her stupid and ugly as the years passed by leading up to grade 8 where she tried to commit suicide but failed, then reconsidered that she should live.

"Tell me about high school." Dave said, while writing notes down on his notepad.

"Well in high school it was even worse, thats when I began to feel those urges....."

As the bell rang for the first day of highschool, Katerina looked at the timetable that she had received, and went to her first class which was history. When she arrived, Amanda Strodes was there with her blonde hair and baby blue clothes that matched down to her shoes. She looked upfrom(up from) the noisy classroom to find that Katerina was there, and whispered something next to a boy who was sitting next to her, and he laughed without looking at her, but she knew it was about her. She took her seat at the back and stayed there for the whole year.

As a month passed by, Katerina was still unpopular and didn't have any friends, but by now the majority of the school knew that a grade 9 girl was bisexual thanks to Amanda's big mouth, and other people who went to her old school. She was teased everyday in someway(some way) or another wheather(whether) it being that she was a loner, or not attractive to the other boys and girls, she hated it and couldn't take it anymore she knew one day she would snap.

When it was time for the school dance and alot of people either had dates, or friends to go with, the only thing Kit could do was stay home depressed. That night she "pleasured herself" like she did almost everynight before bed, and cried all night in her depressed state.

Katerina wanted revenge on the world badly, and it first began her plan of revenge on the school...
Ooh, this first chapter is wonderful Lance! I already favor Katerina, because of her sarcastic replies to the reporter, yer she still willingly tells her story to him.

The spelling and grammar mistakes I found are in red in the quote. I might recommend typing your fics in a Word document if you have one, that way your mistakes will be shown and you can fix them.

There was one mistake I noticed to be re-occuring. Once you are done with a quote, you need a comma before you put out the last quotation mark. Here's an example:
"Jessie, please come here," Jessie's mother stated.

I love the overall plot of this fic so far. And I think Miyu's right, it does make you think of the movie, Carrie. XD I can't wait for more chapters Lance, keep up the awsome work!
(I'll come back and rate chapter two in a bit. )

~Kelsey
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Old January 29th, 2005, 03:24 PM
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I usually always type my things in a word program with spellchecker (Microsoft word), but tis not working so I have to make due with using Wordpad with no spellchecker. I could look over my work for errors, but sometimes when you write things its hard to pick up on those type of typos you're because you already know the story, and I just wanted to get these chapters out .

Hmm.. Carrie huh? I gotta see that movie, if thats what you all refer to this as XD.
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Old January 29th, 2005, 03:31 PM
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I know that MCD had the same problem. XD And that's very true, since you know the story, it's hard to pick out the errors.

But hey, that's what fan fic reviewers like me are for! XD You should rent the movie Carrie. It's fairly old, but still a good horror movie nonetheless. ^______^ Keep up the awsome work Lance! *glomps*

~Kelsey
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Old January 29th, 2005, 03:41 PM
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I so understand... o.o; When you're writing, it's hard to proofread it. But when you beta read someone else's... mistakes are all over the page. xD;

Carrie is a book too, if you want to read it. =3 It's written by Stephan King. (I think...)
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Old January 29th, 2005, 03:57 PM
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I'm working on Chapter 3 now and its going to be about more of Katerina's plan, and this time I'll proofread it properly, before submitting it XD.

What is Carrie about anyway? I keep hearing you both mention it and not give me any storyline details!
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Old January 29th, 2005, 04:19 PM
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lol, do you want to get spoilers? o.o;














Okay... I think that Carrie is basically about a girl who is very unattractive and very unpopular/disliked. Then one day, the most popular boy in school asks her to a school dance, but she gets pranked instead. They pour pig blood over her. o.O;

But what they don't know is that she has psychic powers... So she starts a killing spree...

(I think... n_n;;; )
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Old January 29th, 2005, 04:29 PM
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Wow Katerina is very similar to Carrie 0_o, I have to read this book! lol

The big diffrence is that Katerina dousn't have psychic powers, and she... *covers mouth due to spoliers* . Chapter 3 will be posted alot later tonight, due to the similarity between my fan-fic and this Carrie book/movie I have to do some editing.
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  #16    
Old January 29th, 2005, 06:20 PM
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Well, Miyu did a good job of describing Carrie. I hated the part where the other students poured pig's blood on her, that was so mean!

But anyways, Katerina seems to be a lot like Carrie. But from what we know so far, she seems a bit more head-strong and willful. I can't wait for the next chapter Lance, keep it up! Wootness! XD

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Old February 1st, 2005, 12:13 PM
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Here is the long awaited third chapter, it explains more of Katerina's depression.

Enjoy!

Chapter 3

Dave now had his arms crossed and just sighed while he stared at the white marble floor, that was covered with the dirt of visitor's shoes.

"Need to know anything else?" Katerina asked jokingly while still slouchedon the table and staring into his eyes.

"Yeah just give me a minute to take this all in, I wasn't expecting to hear all of this so fast." Dave said sighing one more time while rubbing his eyes with both of his hands...

When the heavy metal door swung open, and Katerina seen the weapons that were contained within, there was a sence of victory, dominence, and evil combined into one indescribeable emotion.

Followed by the guns and weapons, a lot of ammunition was found with further inspection that were contained in small match box like cases. Katerina steadily brought two pistols, two nightsticks, and two AK-47 assault riffles to her room upstairs not fearing to be caught by her soon to arrive parents from work, because it was felt as if she had nothing to loose if caught in her possesion.

She couldn't carry everything by herself so Katerina took the two black pistols in each hand to place on her bed for further relocation. She then carried the black nightsticks that police officers usually have with them at all time, beside the pistols. Then one at a time she brought the brown handled, black AK-47 riffile's upstairs. While walking with the weapons of mass destruction, she held the heavy gun tightly in her hands and grinned and laughed knowing that she can kill by just pulling the trigger.

Suddenly Katerina heard the familar roar of the family car pull into the two lane driveway that led to her front door of her house.

She rushed to her plain white room, with no posters or decorations and opened her closet door to put the gear into an old toy chest she had as a young child. She barely played with her toys at a young age so all that it contaned was a stuffed purple dinosaur that her mother had bought for her. She packed the gear two by two putting rounds of bullets next to the proper gun to reduce confusion, and left the two nightsticks on the right side of her toy box.

By this time the creak of the front door had opened and slammed just long enough for two people to walk through, signifying that her father had picked up her mother from work this day, much earlier then usual.

"Kit?!", her father's deep voice yelled downstairs, "I'm here dad." Katerina said flatly.

"Well come on down, we brought some KFT (Kentunky Fried Tofu), and we bought your favorite garden salad with tofu...

"KFT?" Dave asked, laughing a bit at the thought.

"Yeah my parents don't eat any meat, so the only real "meat" we eat is tofu. I've gotten used to it overtime but its getting tiring." Katerina repsonded, a bit more cheerful showing off her beautiful smile that was rarely seen by many.

The three family members gathered around the small wooden table that was painted a varnish brown, her mother covered it up with a white cloth to protect the table from spills and food falling onto it.

As the family ate quietly are the buffet style layout of the takeout food, her father finally said something to break the silence while heating his fried tofu, "How was you're day Kit? Any of the kids give you any trouble today?".

"No dad," she answered in her depressed, flat tone of voice, "Did you get discharged yet?"

"What did you say?" Her father asked sternly now staring into her eyes, trying to act threatening.

"I asked if you have been discharged yet." She answered quite rudely, playing with the tofu salad on her plate with her plastic fork.

He weakened his stare and focused on eating his fried tofu. Katerina's father was a fairly large man, not only large but a bit fat too. Luckily, those genes didn't pass on to her when she was born, because she would feel even worse about herself at school, and the kids would try to use her fat if she had it, to pick on her about even more then they already do. He was 44 but still looked young in a way, especially in his nearly wrinkle free face and protruding nose. It was difficult to really stare into his bready black eyes that were hidden behind his bold glasses, so Katerina never did when he looked at her.

He was an officer at the time, but was discharged in the past because of a homosexual scandal that occured. He fought it, saying it wasn't true, but then let back in because no proof was found.

Her father had a short temper, then suddenly just burst and yelled with his deep yet non threatening voice, "**** it Kit! You have to make friends at school, how do you expect to get a boyfriend or even married for that matter if you keep to yourself all the time?!".

"I don't know... who says I even want a boyfriend I could be interested in girls for all you know!" Katerina said, raising her voice at her father.

"Girls?" Her father softened, "what do you mean?"

"I'm a bisexual dad." Katerina spoke out quietly, but not ashamed.

"Katerina Thomas..." Her father started off softly, "absolutly no lesbian is living in my house!" he stood up and yelled, with some of his food being spit out on the table

"Rick calm down!" Her mother yelled to her husband, holding onto his right arm, "I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding."

Katerina respected her mother, she had been a homemaker for all of Katerina's life, and until recently she got a job at a law firm as a secretary. She knew her mother would always be there for her if she needed any help with anything, but when it came to conversation there was just nothing there to talk about.

Her flowing auburn hair was beautiful, it went down to the top half of her fairly thin body, and she always wore a white blouse that was always a little bigger then it needed to be for some reason. She tried at every moment to act young at age 40, but there was still signs that she was old because of the few wrinkles on the corners of her eyes, and hands.

"A bisexual means to be attracted to both male and females, so don't be too angry over this, there's nothing you can do about it anyway." Her mother's soothing reassuring voice spoke out.

"I can't believe you're supporting this!" Her father yelled out, still standing up above the kitchen table.

"Well the only thing we can do now, is support this if it means that she'll be happy, you know how Kit is already in her life." Her mother responded softly, letting go of his arm.

Her father sat down in his chair and sighed, "Katerina, from this day on I have no daughter, you understand me?" He then just walked from the table and left the kitchen to go into his bedroom for his daily nap...

"So is that the main cause for your sadness?" Dave asked, while still writing down notes in his notepad.

"Well not really, because I hated that bastard." She answered calmly.

"What, why?" Dave asked her a little concerned, putting the pen down and looking into her eyes.

Katerina sat and and sighed to herself, "When I was only 7, my father first molested me. He knew that no one would listen to a seven year old, so I never said a thing to a soul." tears began to slowly fall down her pale cheeks, as she closed her eyes briefly she continued with anger beginning to build in her, "For two years that basted forced an innocent child to have sex with him!" her voice began to break into short sobs, "Every Friday when my mother would go to the grocery store, he would force me into the guest room and...." Katerina couldn't continue and just burst out crying with a steadily flow of tears falling down her cheeks and falling onto the table.

Dave got up and went around the table to comfort her, he held her warm fragile body tightly while she cried and tried to continue, " It was just hard for me to get up in the mourning everyday for those years!"

"Shhh don't worry about it." Dave whispered into her ears while her tears was soaking his long shirt sleeve. She calmed down a bit and said, "I knew one day I would kill him for what he did to me, and after he told me "I'm not his daughter", I was glad knowing that I wouldn't have to feel guilty about killing a non existing father...
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  #18    
Old February 1st, 2005, 05:31 PM
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Oooh. o.o; Her dad did that? And... Good cliffhanger.. again. xD

Quote:
"I'm a bisexual dad." Katerina spoke out quietly, but not ashamed.
That phrasing got me a bit confused though... At first, I thought that her dad was saying that he was bisexual. xD;

Great chapter though! I love how you introduced her family. =D Can't wait fot the next... =D
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Old February 1st, 2005, 05:42 PM
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Lol! That was funny XD, sorry if it was a bit confusing though I'll change it later '. Chapter 4 will explain her plan (like I've been saying for a while now XD), but it will focus more about her own planning and what will be done, it should be a great chapter .
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  #20    
Old February 2nd, 2005, 02:37 PM
Kelsey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiquidThunder
Here is the long awaited third chapter, it explains more of Katerina's depression.

Enjoy!

Chapter 3

Dave now had his arms crossed and just sighed while he stared at the white marble floor, that was covered with the dirt of visitor's shoes.

"Need to know anything else?" Katerina asked jokingly while still slouchedon(slouched on) the table and staring into his eyes.

"Yeah just give me a minute to take this all in, I wasn't expecting to hear all of this so fast." Dave said sighing one more time while rubbing his eyes with both of his hands...

When the heavy metal door swung open, and Katerina seen(saw - or - had seen) the weapons that were contained within, there was a sence(sense) of victory, dominence(dominance), and evil combined into one indescribeable(indescribable) emotion.

Followed by the guns and weapons, a lot of ammunition was found with further inspection that were contained in small match box like cases. Katerina steadily brought two pistols, two nightsticks, and two AK-47 assault riffles(rifles) to her room upstairs not fearing to be caught by her soon to arrive parents from work, because it was felt as if she had nothing to loose if caught in her possesion(possession).

She couldn't carry everything by herself so Katerina took the two black pistols in each hand to place on her bed for further relocation. She then carried the black nightsticks that police officers usually have with them at all time, beside the pistols. Then one at a time she brought the brown handled, black AK-47 riffile's(rifles) upstairs. While walking with the weapons of mass destruction, she held the heavy gun tightly in her hands and grinned and laughed knowing that she can kill by just pulling the trigger.

Suddenly Katerina heard the familar roar of the family car pull into the two lane driveway that led to her front door of her house.

She rushed to her plain white room, with no posters or decorations and opened her closet door to put the gear into an old toy chest she had as a young child. She barely played with her toys at a young age so all that it contaned(contained) was a stuffed purple dinosaur that her mother had bought for her. She packed the gear two by two putting rounds of bullets next to the proper gun to reduce confusion, and left the two nightsticks on the right side of her toy box.

By this time the creak of the front door had opened and slammed just long enough for two people to walk through, signifying that her father had picked up her mother from work this day, much earlier then usual.

"Kit?!", her father's deep voice yelled downstairs, "I'm here dad." Katerina said flatly.

"Well come on down, we brought some KFT (Kentunky(Kentucky) Fried Tofu), and we bought your favorite garden salad with tofu...

"KFT?" Dave asked, laughing a bit at the thought.

"Yeah my parents don't eat any meat, so the only real "meat" we eat is tofu. I've gotten used to it overtime but its getting tiring." Katerina repsonded(responded), a bit more cheerful showing off her beautiful smile that was rarely seen by many.

The three family members gathered around the small wooden table that was painted a varnish brown, her mother covered it up with a white cloth to protect the table from spills and food falling onto it.

As the family ate quietly are the buffet style layout of the takeout food, her father finally said something to break the silence while heating his fried tofu, "How was you're day Kit? Any of the kids give you any trouble today?".

"No dad," she answered in her depressed, flat tone of voice, "Did you get discharged yet?"

"What did you say?" Her father asked sternly now staring into her eyes, trying to act threatening.

"I asked if you have been discharged yet." She answered quite rudely, playing with the tofu salad on her plate with her plastic fork.

He weakened his stare and focused on eating his fried tofu. Katerina's father was a fairly large man, not only large but a bit fat too. Luckily, those genes didn't pass on to her when she was born, because she would feel even worse about herself at school, and the kids would try to use her fat if she had it, to pick on her about even more then they already do. He was 44 but still looked young in a way, especially in his nearly wrinkle free face and protruding nose. It was difficult to really stare into his bready(beady) black eyes that were hidden behind his bold glasses, so Katerina never did when he looked at her.

He was an officer at the time, but was discharged in the past because of a homosexual scandal that occured(occurred). He fought it, saying it wasn't true, but then let back in because no proof was found.

Her father had a short temper, then suddenly just burst and yelled with his deep yet non threatening voice, "**** it Kit! You have to make friends at school, how do you expect to get a boyfriend or even married for that matter if you keep to yourself all the time?!".

"I don't know... who says I even want a boyfriend I could be interested in girls for all you know!" Katerina said, raising her voice at her father.

"Girls?" Her father softened, "what do you mean?"

"I'm a bisexual dad." Katerina spoke out quietly, but not ashamed.

"Katerina Thomas..." Her father started off softly, "absolutly(absolutely) no lesbian is living in my house!" he stood up and yelled, with some of his food being spit out on the table.

"Rick calm down!" Her mother yelled to her husband, holding onto his right arm, "I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding."

Katerina respected her mother, she had been a homemaker for all of Katerina's life, and until recently she got a job at a law firm as a secretary. She knew her mother would always be there for her if she needed any help with anything, but when it came to conversation there was just nothing there to talk about.

Her flowing auburn hair was beautiful, it went down to the top half of her fairly thin body, and she always wore a white blouse that was always a little bigger then it needed to be for some reason. She tried at every moment to act young at age 40, but there was still signs that she was old because of the few wrinkles on the corners of her eyes, and hands.

"A bisexual means to be attracted to both male and females, so don't be too angry over this, there's nothing you can do about it anyway." Her mother's soothing reassuring voice spoke out.

"I can't believe you're supporting this!" Her father yelled out, still standing up above the kitchen table.

"Well the only thing we can do now, is support this if it means that she'll be happy, you know how Kit is already in her life." Her mother responded softly, letting go of his arm.

Her father sat down in his chair and sighed, "Katerina, from this day on I have no daughter, you understand me?" He then just walked from the table and left the kitchen to go into his bedroom for his daily nap...

"So is that the main cause for your sadness?" Dave asked, while still writing down notes in his notepad.

"Well not really, because I hated that bastard." She answered calmly.

"What, why?" Dave asked her a little concerned, putting the pen down and looking into her eyes.

Katerina sat and and sighed to herself, "When I was only 7, my father first molested me. He knew that no one would listen to a seven year old, so I never said a thing to a soul." tears began to slowly fall down her pale cheeks, as she closed her eyes briefly she continued with anger beginning to build in her, "For two years that basted forced an innocent child to have sex with him!" her voice began to break into short sobs, "Every Friday when my mother would go to the grocery store, he would force me into the guest room and...." Katerina couldn't continue and just burst out crying with a steadily flow of tears falling down her cheeks and falling onto the table.

Dave got up and went around the table to comfort her, he held her warm fragile body tightly while she cried and tried to continue, " It was just hard for me to get up in the mourning everyday for those years!"

"Shhh don't worry about it." Dave whispered into her ears while her tears was soaking his long shirt sleeve. She calmed down a bit and said, "I knew one day I would kill him for what he did to me, and after he told me "I'm not his daughter", I was glad knowing that I wouldn't have to feel guilty about killing a non existing father...
Wow, this chapter was amazing Lance! It kind of explains some of Kit's heartache, seeing as her father was a molester. oO;;

Anyways, I think the father's reaction to Kit being bisexual was just how a number of parents act when something like this comes up unexpectedly. Some parents hate bisexuals, and others are more afraid for their children then angry. But I think this part brought out some real arguments in your fic.

I also appreciate how you have at least the mother be mroe understanding of the situation, it shows that people can have at least some sense to others' feelings. ^____^

The spelling and grammar mistakes are noted above. Overall nice job Lance, I really enjoyed this chapter. ^__^

~Kelsey
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  #21    
Old February 4th, 2005, 07:41 PM
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This is a great story so far! If graded I would give it a 9/10. Its that good. Cant wait for thre next chapter.
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Old February 7th, 2005, 01:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiquidThunder
Lol! That was funny XD, sorry if it was a bit confusing though I'll change it later '. Chapter 4 will explain her plan (like I've been saying for a while now XD), but it will focus more about her own planning and what will be done, it should be a great chapter .
You just need to put it like this:

Quote:
I'm a bisexual, dad.
Vital comma. ;;

Wow. This is such a deep story. It almost brought me to tears. Poor Kit... I don't feel sorry for her. I feel sympathy with her.
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Old February 7th, 2005, 09:03 AM
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Very nicey worded D_P '.

From now on, I'll see what I can do about the spell checking, even though my MS Word isn't working, I can type out the next chapter on my sister's computer that does.
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  #24    
Old February 8th, 2005, 03:27 PM
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Lance, great job!! I really like this! As the others have said, there is a few spelling and grammar errors, but you can easily fix them. Since others have gone over those, I won't. I like how you show the reporter asking the questions and Kit having flashbacks. My favorite part was the clever combination that you came up with, with Kit figuring out the combination lock was her dad's date of entering the army (exscuse my poor wording) Well, Lance, I will look forward to you adding more installments, keep up the good work!! ~origin
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Old February 9th, 2005, 09:24 AM
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Wow, really moving story so far lance. Looking forward to the next chapter
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