The PokéCommunity Forums  

Go Back   The PokéCommunity Forums > Creative Discussions > Fan Fiction and Writing
Sign Up Rules/FAQ Live Battle Blogs Mark Forums Read

Notices

Fan Fiction and Writing Submit your stories and poems.


Reply
Click here to go to the first staff post in this thread.  
Thread Tools
  #1    
Old November 1st, 2012, 01:04 PM
miley810's Avatar
miley810
Assassin
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Kukuroo Mountain
Gender: Female
Nature: Jolly
Hey everyone, getting back on here and seeing the new background reminded me of a one-shot I wrote about Hypno's Lullaby once, and I remembered wanting to post it on here sometime. So, here I am. I worked on this story for at least six hours or so, rested two hours, and reread it, then auto-corrected it on several different places, had my cousin read over it, and finally posted it on FanFiction.net. Anyways, I really wanted to post it here because I know there are a lot of people here who give good feedback, and I wanted to know what people thought of this story. So yeah. This story is a bit cheesy, but I did my best. So yeah. Here we go~

_____________________________________________
Sixteen year old Blake Royals tip toed softly down the hall, holding her auburn hair back. With each step her wedged dark brown flip flops made a soft 'clunk'. She carefully opened her bedroom door with her hand which was gloved with dark brown leather fingerless gloves. She crept to her bed, residing on staying her blue jean shorts and light brown t-shirt. She gave a quiet sigh of relief. No one had noticed she had been gone.

Blake revealingly closed her chocolate brown eyes, her eye lashes still a little dark against her fair skin with mascara. Blake laid back on her bed after kicking off her shoes and stared at the ceiling. Now she was safe from both her parents wrath and the rumored creepy pokemon that lurk around Lavender Town at night. Blake emptied her pockets, the contents being her cell phone, fifty dollars, a package of raisins, and her lucky guitar pick.

She nearly jumped out of her skin at hearing the crunching of her grass outside. She looked at her big window behind her to make sure it was covered well with her drawn shut blinds and black curtains. She replaced the stuff into her pockets, and at hearing a knock on her window, screamed and grabbed the thing closest to her- her guitar. She ran to the door, but she still saw it through the window long enough to be literally paralyzed. The little white circle pendulum that Hypno carried.

Her eyes were unwillingly stuck to the object. To think, fifteen minutes ago she was at her best friend's late night party. Now she was stuck at her bedroom door, so close yet so far from escape, unwillingly being captured by Hypno's hypnotic waves. Her eyes slid down to slits, and with that they closed, causing her to drop to the floor, still clutching her guitar.

When Blake woke up, she was in a cave. She propped herself up as much as she could to get a look around. They were in a big cave with a small exit that she didn't know how she got through. She just faintly remembered her occurrence. She called out for help, which echoed around the cave. She heard a snickering, sicking laugh from behind, causing her to gasp. She turned her head to look behind her, and sure enough there stood Hypno. she also saw her guitar against the wall behind him.

"Well well. Look what you've gotten yourself into." it said.

"You did this!" she said, then froze. There were at least fifteen other kids laying around her, struggling to get free of their bonds.

"It doesn't matter who did it. But now, I've got a song for you." he said.

Everyone stared at him, their eyes wide with fear.

"Come little children, come with me. Safe and happy you will be. Away from your homes now, let us run. With Hypno you'll have so much fun."

Blake had a painful look on her face. The song was starting to hurt her ears- was this his lullaby? The song he sang before they died? Or was it a song he sang before he controlled them all?

"Oh little children, please don't cry. Hypno wouldn't hurt a fly. Be free, be free, be free to play. Come down in my cave with me to stay."

Blake bit her lip. Something was breaking into her mind. She was shocked when she stood up and started to sing in unison with Hypno.

"Oh little children, please don't squirm. These ropes, I know, will hold you firm. Hypno tells you this is true."

Blake was left for the next line to be sang alone. "But sadly, Hypno lied to you."

"Oh little children you mustn't leave." Hypno sang.

"Your families, for you will grieve." Blake sang. "Their minds will unravel, at the seams."

"Allowing me to haunt their dreams." Hypno sang. "But surely, all of you must know."

"That it is time, for you to go."

"Oh little children, you weren't clever. Now you will stay with me, forever." They sang in unison once more.

After that, Blake's eyes closed, as if mentally bowing. Then she felt herself falling, and she hit the cave floor, and it all faded out.

Blake had no idea how long it'd been since she'd been awake. She was scared of what she'd see upon her eyes opening once she was awake, but eventually she did open her eyes. She found she and the other children were all still in the cave, and shockingly enough untied up this time. A big bolder blocked the cave, but she figured she would later by hypnotized to help Hypno move it. She wanted to stand up and go grab her guitar, but she didn't want to push her luck quite yet.

"Ah, you're all awake." Hypno said. "Why don't we watch a little film?"

He sat a video camera- probably stolen from a towns-person- on a smooth, flat rock. It projected against the cave wall. All of them were walking around through the town, various screams and cries came from around. Blake saw herself push past her confused mother, and go to her little brother, get down on her knees in front of him, and look straight into his eyes.

"Come little children, come with me. Safe and happy you will be. Away from your homes now, let us run. With Hypno you'll have so much fun."

"Oh little children, please don't cry. Hypno wouldn't hurt a fly." her little brother started to sing the song, and followed her mindlessly. She saw the other kids do a similar process, with siblings, close friends, cousins, etc. She saw all of them return to the cave. She looked around the cave, but the new kids were absent.

"They're in a different area. You hypnotizing them isn't as strong as myself doing so, so they must be dealt with...later." Hypno informed her.

Once the video was over, they were allowed to walk around the cave and converse. Hypno wanted their minds to still be calm enough, so he wished for them to speak with each other or something. She grabbed her guitar, and picked it up. After pulling her dark brown lucky guitar pick out of her pocket, she began strumming a continuous pattern to the beat of Hypno's lullaby. She hummed the words. Soon, she stopped and looked around. No one had paid any attention, but now Hypno started to sing again, commenting under his breath about him starting to loose connection or something.

"Come little children, come with me."

In a spur-of-the-moment situation, Blake started to strum her guitar. She'd read his lullaby can sometimes be countered by someone else singing without him making her. He didn't take notice of her strumming until the the third verse. "Oh little children, please don't squirm. These ropes I know will hold you firm. Hypno tells you this is true. But sadly, hypno LIED to you." she sang, and one of the boys- she recognized him as Henry- stood up and rammed into Hypno, making Hypno fall back and drop the pendulum. Henry swiped it up, and ran over to Blake.

"Keep singing guitar-girl!" he said.

At this point- still playing very close to the original beat, she started to replace the lyrics." Your dear families, waiting for you. We all know, what we must do. Attack crazy Hypno, it seems, is how to keep him from your dreams."

Blake took the next verse for her. "But surely, all of you must know. It is time, for hypno to go. Oh little children, we're all clever. Time to get rid of Hypno, forever."

All the little kids clapped. They surrounded hypno, who looked slightly scared at this point.

"Come little children, come with us. There's no time, to make a fuss. To our homes, we must return. Hypno surely must be burned." They all sang in unison."Come little children, please don't cry. From this place, we all must fly. Set free, set free, set free the children. Cause in the end, we all will win. Come little children, please don't worry. We'll all leave here, in a hurry. Hypno promises his safety is true. But sadly, Hypno lied to you. Your dear families, waiting for you. We all know, what we must do. Attack crazy Hypno, it seems, is how to keep him from your dreams. But surely, all of you must know. It is time, for hypno to go. Oh little children, we're all clever. Time to get rid of Hypno, forever!"

Everyone helped pick up the panicking Hypno. He pulled and tugged, but if they weren't holding a limb or a head, they were holding his side or pressing up on his back so he couldn't buck down. They went to the fire, and they got out from underneath him. and lowered him into the fire, holding on to his paws to keep him in, although it was hot nobody received burns.

Once they were sure the deed was done, they stood up and backed up They could still see the burnt fur, the skull, it was a extremely scary sight. Since Hypno stole a few of their belongings, they retrieved them they lined up behind Blake and Henry. There were 18 in all- since Blake had counted them all while they retrieved their belongings. They marched out, singing the song, calling for the other kids, and talking. Soon, a reply was called back.

"Help!"

They hurried through a hypno-sized opening and into the room. To their horror, another Hypno stood there. It turned to look at them.

"How'd you get here?" he demanded.

"Your little friend isn't clever. Now he'll stay with death, forever." Blake said tauntingly.

As this Hypno started his version of the song, so did Blake's crew.

"Come little children, come with us. There's no time, to make a fuss. To our homes, we must return. Hypno surely must be burned. Come little children, please don't cry. From this place, we all must fly. Set free, set free, set free the children. Cause in the end, we all will win." They all sang together." Come little children, please don't worry. We'll all leave here, in a hurry. Hypno promises his safety is true. But sadly, Hypno lied to you. Your dear families, waiting for you. We all know, what we must do. Attack crazy Hypno, it seems, is how to keep him from your dreams. But surely, all of you must know. It is time, for hypno to go. Oh little children, we're all clever. Time to get rid of Hypno, forever!"

Hypno send the hypnotic waves directly at Blake, who ducked as the little kids ran at Hypno and knocked him over, retrieved the pendulum, and gave it to Henry who still had the other one. This one was slightly bigger than the last, so Blake had the idea to hypnotize him. he handed the pendulum to Blake, and they stood in front of the little kids and the now untied little kids they'd hypnotized themselves. By swinging her wrist while playing the guitar, she helped with the hypnotizing, while Blake sang and swung his like Hypno had.

"Time to get rid of Hypno, forever!" they all sang, and Hypno unwillingly stood up and walked into the fire himself, and they watched him burn, still tauntingly singing the song in unison, until he was finally finished. They all crawled out after Blake got a for-sure headcount. while walking out of the cave, she contently took a head count, almost losing a few kids in the confusing cave. They finally made it to the exit. The sun was setting before them. They started to run to the town up in the distance, and they ran in.

While the little kids ran to their homes, Blake and Henry entered the police station. Blake whirled the door open and raced over to the front desk, which was vacant. She slammed the bell, and Officer Jenny came running down the hall into the room.

"Yes? What's going on? You look like you've seen a ghastly!"

"No, more like a Hypno." Blake said. "Hypno kidnapped us and 35 other kids. We're all free now- or at least I hope. I can show you the caves- we had to burn the two Hypnos to get free. That's why a bunch of kids came into town the other night and kidnapped a bunch of kids."

"Oh my Arceus! Can you show me the cave?" Officer Jenny asked.

"Of course, follow me." she said.

After stopping by her house she led Officer Jenny and five other officers- who had given her a growlithe and vaporeon for protection for the cave trip- to the Hypno Cave. They carefully walked around inside, examining everything. They first went to the room they had been in, the bolder still moved over. The fire had pretty much went out, and the burnt fur and charred skeleton of the dead Hypno were very bold and scary there.

"My goodness, this is crazy! Hypno aren't supposed to be around here- we've tried so hard for so many years to keep them fought off." a officer said.

"Well obviously they set up base just outside of town." another officer said.

"Is there any more?" Officer Jenny asked.

"Yeah, follow me." she said, and they crawled into the other room, where pretty much the same scene awaited them. A burnt skeleton.

"Well, we'll have to investigate. For the time being, we need to warn everyone to stay at home. We need to have officers here and patrolling the town." She said, and immediately all of the officers started using walkie-talkies, setting up their crew. "How did you get out?"

"A counter-song." Blake said. "We sang to the same beat of his lullaby, but with different lyrics, breaking the connection."

"Oh, I see. Do you mind singing this song for me?" she asked. "Er- both versions?"

"Sure, but it may have more effect with my guitar, which I left at home."

After singing both versions, Officer Jenny and the other policemen escorted Blake to her home, assuring her and the other kids who'd been kidnapped's house would be heavily guarded- along with the rest of the town. Blake stayed on high guard, and kept her pendulum in her hand and her guitar next to her the entire time, her two ways to rebel against Hypno's waves. There were constant updates from the police. At three am, they found a few more kids who'd been kidnapped from Hypno. three-thirty am was probably the saddest, most disturbing one. A set of triplets- 7 years old, two boys and a girl- had been set into such a deep sleep it might has well have been a comma.

Four am was the nightmare hour. They were talking to one of the policemen who were in the cave, who said they'd heard something. Then, during the call, they heard a scream and faintly 'come little children, come with me...'. Blake shot up out of her seat, put the pendulum around her neck, swiped her guitar, and charged out of the house, the two guard pokemon the police had given her on her belt. She charged to Henry's house, and on the way out of town, ignoring the police's protests, a few of the little kids joined them. They ran through the grassy plain, straight to cave. They charged in, yelling carelessly. Something knocked Blake over, but she kept her guitar up. She rolled onto her back to see yet another Hypno.

Blake shot up and started strumming her guitar, and all of them sang their counter song. "Come little children, come with us. There's no time, to make a fuss. To our homes, we must return. Hypno surely must be little children, please don't cry. From this place, we all must fly. Set free, set free, set free the children. Cause in the end, we all will win. Come little children, please don't worry. We'll all leave here, in a hurry. Hypno promises his safety is true. But sadly, Hypno lied to you. Your dear families, waiting for you. We all know, what we must do. Attack crazy Hypno, it seems, is how to keep him from your dreams. But surely, all of you must know. It is time, for hypno to go. Oh little children, we're all clever. Time to get rid of Hypno, forever!"

The hypno was disoriented, confused, while the policemen handcuffed it and taped it mouth shut. Blake and the kids cheered, and continued to search around. Soon, they found a slightly chubby policeman in the room Blake had earlier been captive in. A group of five hypno were standing around, waiting and watching for them. All the kids formed a circle around the fire, looking outwards so no one had their back to a Hypno. After singing the oh-so-catchy song, the Hypno all walked where the kids split for them, and walked into the fire.

"I seriously hope that's the last. This is the grossest thing I've ever seen." Blake commented.

"I don't know, but it was quite dangerous for you to have come." Officer Jenny said, crossing her arms. "We knew the song, we could have countered it."

"I don't like this. There could be a lot more hypno somewhere." Blake said, completely ignoring officer Jenny.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see if any more come." Henry said.

"No." Officer Jenny said. "All of you are going home. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You're oing right now, and you're not coming back. Is that understood?"

"Yes." Blake said groaning.

After returning home Blake constantly stayed on the phones with the police officers for updates. Eventually they just brought her and Henry walkie-talkies to talk to each other and the police with. Blake and Henry fell asleep, in their own bedrooms, and when they woke up, they found out nothing had happened.

- a week later -

By now, the cave had been searched thoroughly. The police had sealed up any cracks and the entrance with cement. Now Hypno couldn't go in there, and if there were any in there they couldn't come out. The town finally came out of lock-down, and soon the streets were full of talkative people. Little kids ran around frantically, so joyful to have fresh air again. Blake and Henry couldn't take three steps without someone coming over and thanking them for helping with the Hypno.

Soon they noticed several sets of footsteps sounding off behind them. They turned around to see eight of the little kids were following them. They continued on, to make sure they were following them, which they were. Finally they turned fully around.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Blake asked.

"Nothing." one little boy said.

"Then why ya following us?" Henry asked.

"You're our heroes!" one of the little girls called out. "All of us, all 35 of us. You're like, our leaders!"

"Yeah!" another girl said, soon followed by more agreed 'yeahs!' from the other kids.

"Well then, I guess that's okay." Blake said laughing.

Blake and Henry became two of the most respected people in town. Over time, the two began to have feelings for each other. They were 16, and their relationship lasted four years before Henry could take it no longer. He got down on one knee for her, proposed, and their wedding followed at the end of the year. They always wear the Hypno pendulum around their necks, and all the kids have some well made replicas made to look like Hypno's. Blake and Henry started a detective agency, which all the little kids helped with.

As for the Hypno they took into custody, nobody had done anything to the Hypno. It was completely out of the Hypnos' will to do what they did. Now all Hypno throughout any of the regions are to be captured and-or reported, and if you wish to train one you have to get legal papers for it, stating you accepted the consequences if Hypno hypnotized you. And if you allow it to hypnotize another trainer you will be arrested.

They only had two more Hypno encounters in Lavender Town, and those two Hypno were captured and trained by Blake and Henry. The two Hypno are the mascots for the detective agency now, and they've been well trained to obey orders. Blake and Henry still use their pokemon from their journeys, along with the Hypno. No favoritism for any pokemon. The cave still remains sealed up, as it always will remain as long as nothing bad happens. And hopefully, nothing bad will happen. And none of them will ever forget the lullaby Hypno or they sang. No one who heard it will. Ever.
__________________

Card Captor Sakura ★ April

Miley ★ BFF // Cousin // Siblings
Sig Credit: Fire Heart (thanks sis!)

My vampire brother: ShinyDiamond
My vampire sister: PinkSapphire
My Pair: Nonexistant...Besides anime characters of course

Last edited by miley810; November 1st, 2012 at 01:13 PM. Reason: Noticed a error
Reply With Quote
  #2    
Old November 3rd, 2012, 05:02 PM
PhantomX0990's Avatar
PhantomX0990
Uh, I didn't do it.
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Minnesota
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Nature: Brave
I like it. Bit of dialogue punctuation issues. You never use a period at the end of a quotation. IE:

Wrong: "This isn't right." Terry said.
Right: "This is correct," Billy said.
__________________
"I'll just... wait here then..."
Reply With Quote
  #3    
Old November 3rd, 2012, 09:44 PM
bobandbill's Avatar
bobandbill
Where's that sheep...
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
Send a message via AIM to bobandbill Send a message via Windows Live Messenger to bobandbill
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
I like it. Bit of dialogue punctuation issues. You never use a period at the end of a quotation. IE:

Wrong: "This isn't right." Terry said.
Right: "This is correct," Billy said.
I'll add that you can use a period at the end of the quotation... but only if the sentence ends there. E.g. '"I feel like dancing." Then the man breakdanced.' is valid. Basically, if what follows the dialogue can't stand up as its own sentence (e.g. it flows on from the dialogue by say telling us who said it/how it was said), then you need to treat the two parts as one sentence and hence cannot use full stops. However you'd be allowed to say use ! or ? ('"Hello!" she shouted'), because yay English. =p
__________________


Sheep in the Big City: General Specific
Reply With Quote
  #4    
Old November 5th, 2012, 01:23 PM
miley810's Avatar
miley810
Assassin
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Kukuroo Mountain
Gender: Female
Nature: Jolly
Oh my god you're right. I forgot about that, fail. Thank you for pointing that out! Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go fix the stories I'm currently writing. *facepalm* Thanks again!
__________________

Card Captor Sakura ★ April

Miley ★ BFF // Cousin // Siblings
Sig Credit: Fire Heart (thanks sis!)

My vampire brother: ShinyDiamond
My vampire sister: PinkSapphire
My Pair: Nonexistant...Besides anime characters of course
Reply With Quote
Reply
Quick Reply

Sponsored Links


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Minimum Characters Per Post: 25



All times are UTC -8. The time now is 03:26 AM.


Style by Nymphadora, artwork by Sa-Dui.
Like our Facebook Page Follow us on Twitter © 2002 - 2014 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2014 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.