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  #1    
Old December 3rd, 2012, 08:46 AM
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Do you find 'gay' used in a derogatory sense, but not in a directly homophobic sense, offensive? For example how do you feel about someone saying "What you said was really gay."? Is it harmful to society's view on homosexuality and disrespectful to homosexuals, or is it simply a word with no real direct meaning regarding gay people under this circumstance? Is there a way in which use of the word 'gay' in such a circumstance can avoid being homophobic, or is homophobic at all?

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  #2    
Old December 3rd, 2012, 08:52 AM
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Well, I don't agree with the way the word originated. Obviously someone considered being gay a bad thing and it turned into a word, but you can't help that it just went this way. Other than that I really don't care when people use it because usually they use it in the non-homophobic way. The word exists and you can't blame people for using it, sometimes it's the only appropriate word you can actually use to describe something. I can understand why gay people would feel offended or whatever, but I don't think they should because it's not personal, and it's nothing to do with their sexuality either. The word could have been poopy but it just so happens that it's 'gay', and it completely depends on the way it's used.
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Old December 3rd, 2012, 08:59 AM
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I would certainly prefer it if the person didn't use gay in a derogatory term, but... it's so common and frequently used that even I occasionally use it as a synonym for something stupid. It's effect has been desensitized to me over time, it doesn't bother me any more. In 2012, I don't think it's harmful to society for the effect has long passed, it's been accepted for far too long as a natural derogatory synonym for things. I don't encourage the use of the word gay in such a way, but again, as I said, it's 2012. Society has mostly become desensitized to that word.
It's the word *** that gets my blood boiling.

Edit: ah, that word seems to be censored. Well, we all know which three letter word I mean.
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  #4    
Old December 3rd, 2012, 10:32 AM
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I dont like how its used as an insult. Its not that hard to pick a different word if you dislike something. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with being gay, though I dont know that using it in this way is that offensive anymore. The other derogatory word is worse and I hate it, I dont need to mention which it is.
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Old December 3rd, 2012, 10:46 AM
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I dislike it being used as an insult the way it is. It's not hard to find something else to say, especially something else that's correct in context. Gay means homosexual, or happy in older terms, neither of which should be considered stupid as many people use the word gay for. This is similar to the word retarded. That doesn't mean stupid, it means slower paced from my understanding. That pisses me off more than anything, though. I can't stand the word retarded and if you have to resort to that as an insult, you're seriously ignorant and I have no respect for you. Sorry, but that's just how much I dislike the word.

Those are the only two words that I see get tossed around inappropriately though, but I'm sure there are more.
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Old December 3rd, 2012, 10:56 AM
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I've grown out of using it as an insult long ago. Whenever someone uses any variation of the word as an insult I like to call the person a homophobic 10 year old because that's what they are.
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  #7    
Old December 3rd, 2012, 11:12 AM
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I have maybe used 'gay' as a derogatory word for something maybe twice or thrice in middle school. Other than that, I say 'retarded' which really isn't much better.

I don't see a lot of people use 'gay' derogatorily either, but that could be influenced by the people I talk to.
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Old December 3rd, 2012, 11:51 AM
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Using the word "gay" when you mean "stupid" is insulting. I don't care if you didn't mean for it to be insulting. If you wanted to say something was dumb say it was dumb, otherwise you're looking pretty dumb in my eyes.

Really, if you are at all close to someone who is gay you won't use the word except to mean, well, gay. You just won't. That one time you did use it in front of them it was really, really awkward and you realized it was the wrong thing to say even before your friend or relative even called you out on it. Because you're a considerate person, right? I mean, for you to use "gay" to mean "stupid" when you know someone who is gay makes you terribly insensitive.
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  #9    
Old December 3rd, 2012, 01:25 PM
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Keep in mind that using the word "gay" to describe something bad is only going to be used in this generation, since every generation has their own phrases to describe something else (i.e. bootlegger). Expect the phrase to not be used in our next generation and will be replaced by another new phrase.
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  #10    
Old December 3rd, 2012, 02:45 PM
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Doesn't bother me. It's just the way people talk.
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  #11    
Old December 3rd, 2012, 03:56 PM
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I'm a lesbian. I used to find it very offensive, but now, not so much. I use "f_ggot" sometimes. I don't like it if it's used in a homophobic way, but I guess gay is the new word for stupid. And it's not like we can just go out and stop whoever is saying it, so why not let them have their free speech? I don't know.
I wish it wasn't used but I don't make a big deal of it.
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  #12    
Old December 3rd, 2012, 04:20 PM
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I always think that the user of the term is being terribly immature, and I might look down on them because of it. Sure being offensive may not be one of their intentions, but either way they're being terribly insensitive nonetheless.

I have a friend who would use it constantly before I came out to him, and when I did, it had produced perhaps the most awkward and cringe-worthy discussion to have with him afterwards. He hasn't been using it ever since though it seems, so I guess that's... okay?
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  #13    
Old December 4th, 2012, 04:45 AM
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I don't really think of the word gay as offensive, in fact I find it funny considering the fact that in the english dictionary there is a treasure trove of adjectives and yet they choose the word gay.
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  #14    
Old December 4th, 2012, 12:45 PM
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This usage of gay is merely a colloquialism to me, but one that just doesn't make sense. I don't find it offensive, because most of the time I hear it being used, it's not being used in a way that is hurtful to gay people; the usage usually has nothing to do with sexuality. But at the same time, that word has no right being used in that context, because obviously the origin of the colloquialism has derogatory roots and the definition of gay just doesn't work there. Why would you use a word that doesn't even make sense in the context?
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Old December 4th, 2012, 04:34 PM
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I don't find it offensive, I just think that there are much better words people could use to describe things they find to be stupid. Like swear words
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  #16    
Old December 4th, 2012, 05:30 PM
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It really depends with the person, some person have a good humor and don't really mind that they call stuffs gay or themselves. Like me, I'm half asian/latino. If someone made jokes about asians or latino I wouldn't be offended, if it's funny i'll laugh at it. I think it really depends on the person and how they feel.
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Old December 4th, 2012, 06:31 PM
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Personally, I don't think the word 'gay' is actually offensive by itself. It's how you use the word and what context you're using it in that determines whether it's offensive to another or not. Like most say, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.
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Old December 4th, 2012, 06:53 PM
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If it's someones go-to word for insulting or describing something less than favorable it's harmful in the sense that they are comfortable with having terrible diction. I think that's a bad thing, honestly.

If someone uses it that way I usually respond with "yeah, I like it too!" or something condescending. I don't find it offensive.
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  #19    
Old December 4th, 2012, 08:28 PM
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I only use that word if the person is really into that kind of relationships, but of course, I don't use it infront of that person. Other than that, I find it rather offensive if you use it as a swear word or something to scold someone who is not at all a gay.
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  #20    
Old December 4th, 2012, 11:11 PM
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I think the term gay has strayed so far fromt he actual term it shouldn't even be used in that context anymore
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  #21    
Old December 5th, 2012, 12:59 AM
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I'm not bothered by other people's language, unless they clearly intend to be offensive, or they use a word that is a derogatory slur.
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Old December 5th, 2012, 09:18 AM
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I dislike when people use the word 'gay' as a synonym for bad, but people are gonna use whatever words they want.

****** is a tricky word on the other hand, for me at least. In my mind, it is not synonymous to a homosexual, but to an *******, thus why I use the word (typically when joking though).
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  #23    
Old December 5th, 2012, 11:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
Using the word "gay" when you mean "stupid" is insulting. I don't care if you didn't mean for it to be insulting. If you wanted to say something was dumb say it was dumb, otherwise you're looking pretty dumb in my eyes.

Really, if you are at all close to someone who is gay you won't use the word except to mean, well, gay. You just won't. That one time you did use it in front of them it was really, really awkward and you realized it was the wrong thing to say even before your friend or relative even called you out on it. Because you're a considerate person, right? I mean, for you to use "gay" to mean "stupid" when you know someone who is gay makes you terribly insensitive.
Wait are you saying it's ok to say 'dumb' but not 'gay'? Because really that's just as insulting (to an even smaller minority).

As long as it's not obviously being used as a slur, I think using the word gay is fine.
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Old December 5th, 2012, 12:25 PM
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Wait are you saying it's ok to say 'dumb' but not 'gay'? :P Because really that's just as insulting (to an even smaller minority).
Yes, it is okay to say "That's dumb." Dumb means lacking intelligence or judgement, and as such can be used to describe people or actions. For instance: a teacher's decision to test students on material the teacher hasn't taught them yet is dumb. It's not the most articulate word, but it's an acceptable word. It's not the same thing as equating a group of people with an insult.
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  #25    
Old December 5th, 2012, 11:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
Yes, it is okay to say "That's dumb." Dumb means lacking intelligence or judgement, and as such can be used to describe people or actions. For instance: a teacher's decision to test students on material the teacher hasn't taught them yet is dumb. It's not the most articulate word, but it's an acceptable word. It's not the same thing as equating a group of people with an insult.
'Dumb' originally only referred to as another word for mute, or people who could not speak. So really it's a very similar situation, where a derogatory term for a minority has become the norm and gained a new definition.
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