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  #1    
Old December 24th, 2012, 08:32 PM
Airhead
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How do I live, knowing I have forgotten him.
How do I breathe, knowing I am not with him.
How do I find him, if he is already gone.
The answer avails me, as I am deep in a midnight trance.

Please comment. I need to know if this poem sucks, or is like meh, or good enough.

Last edited by Airhead; December 24th, 2012 at 10:04 PM. Reason: Your double post has been automatically merged.
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  #2    
Old December 27th, 2012, 05:41 AM
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Freak A
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there's not much to critique here because i understand this is only a show of free style. obviously you have written this with more heart and less sense of poetry (sorry if that sounds harsh)

Though if i was to judge the flow i would say its a little between kind of good but kind of bad as well. i think this poem deserves more then just 4 lines i feel it could have been even more exaggerated but the fact that you've put some feeling into it (and if u haven't you've at least made me think you have) and for that i can easily say that you do have a poetic touch.
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