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Old October 24th, 2013 (8:47 PM).
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Chalifoux Chalifoux is online now
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Goodness me, this is a character we have not shipped already! What is this madness, and furthermore, how can we force help Seth join the official RéBURST ship?

Shipping thoughts aside, Seth has come to find an admirable opponent of smooth fur. A Cubchoo, and not just any Cubchoo, but the son of Brycen's Beartic himself! ... Or daughter, rather. Yeah, it's a girl, and not just any girl, but Meloeira de Bagette herself! It just so happens that the dear Cubchoo was walking back home after destroying that pink Rattata's prissy buttock while off-screen, because we're evil like that. And now, here she is, shaking her bootay around a metallic capsule as we gaze in awe, awaiting the decision on whether this Pokemon will be caught or not...

Have I mentioned we're evil?

Oh no, Cubchoo broke free!
Yup, Seth is pretty much screwed.
Low will suffer the wrath of both an ice-type AND a female Pokémon.
It won't be pretty...

Random fading to a very important event!
This is Clauncher. Clauncher says hi. Recently, a mass outbreak of wild Pokemon -particularly those inhabiting within the Kalos region- have been seen at multiple spots within the region. And Clauncher just so happens to be the most common sighting around Mauville. Chances are you'll be seeing loads of these busting the shores and being carried around by fashionable lads who want you to know they have one and you don't. The less common sight and also a rival of Clauncher: Skrelp, has been spotted as well, but with a less predominant frequency. Have fun catching one or twenty.

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Old November 4th, 2013 (11:07 AM).
Lilizuki Lilizuki is offline
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Imoen mutters gently to herself as she walks alongside the other group of random people she just happened to stumble across while, by chance, being flung across the sky to a particular moment of a specific island that involved a peculiar and secular series of events that happened and lead to where she is now. All too much of a coincidence, really. Her steps are taken at a regular pace and she occasionally makes a comment or an observation about where their steps lead them, but all she really wants is to arrive to a city with everything she could ever possibly want and for everything there to be perfect forever. A fair dream for most people, which made it decidedly average enough for this young woman.

Mauville is definitely not such a place. It's a place with a lot of things with confusing names and introductions and it doesn't even have the benefit of oddly-talking Rangers to serve as a guide to the madness. Like a child-friendly R'lyeh. Not to mention the fact that there's a strange fat man with a mustache who just happens to have a job that involves lots of time spent standing around children; it's a good thing he doesn't have a Vanillite, or else things would start getting awkward for the be-sweater'd gym leader. To put it shortly, she didn't like it, as anyone with telepathy could tell from Imoen's completely blank face as it stared big and blue over the many buildings and people that probably should call themselves something neat. Like Mauvillians. Mauvers. Supercalifrajulisticexpialimaucious.

Ni probably didn't like it, and the PokeDex definitely didn't like the fact that there were precisely zero attractive people to take pictures of. It much preferred the idea of that one other electric trainer, with the buzzing headphones and the clothes that looked like conductive tape that could barely hold itself together. That was a trainer who could push her buttons, refresh her batteries, turn her on, recalibrate her memory banks, and various other things one might do to an electric device. Knowing that it couldn't possibly be needed in a city filled with faux-Santas. At least, not until they got to the place with all the Hoes. Until then, it shut itself off, screen going blank as it was tucked away in its pocket and emitted a low buzzing noise.

Oh, the people she's with! Imoen smiles gently to herself and decides to say the first thing that comes to her head. "Who wants to get ice cream?" She says, loudly enough for anyone in the group to hear.
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Old November 4th, 2013 (7:14 PM).
DLMuerte DLMuerte is offline
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Seth: Arbitrarily decide that everything is directed by Michael Bay- oh wait there's no explosions
Boat -> Isle De Fairnorth

I am so positively screwed. And when I say screwed I mean screwed.

Seth watches desolately as the PokeBall shatters to reveal what he can now say is not the son, but the daughter of Brycen's Beartic. He thinks. He knows it's female, but now he's doubting himself. Additionally, he's doubting himself at the wrong time because Low is being hit with Powder Snow. Is Powder Snow really that bad? At this point, Low dodging a lot of these attacks, but quickly getting tired. The Pokemon can't go at it for long. And even then, there's no way that Low can survive the wrath of an Ice-type.

That is, until we factor in the slu- I mean, amazingly sexy fashionable shiny Ratata waltzing in and slapping- I mean, biting- the Cubchoo across the face. Low quickly gets out of the way due to a fear of getting caught in the crossfire. "Alright, then..." Seth sits back after snapping out of it, looking for popcorn but having none. Shame. He then simply sits there and watches what he could see as a horrible drama. That Cubchoo needs some acting lessons, ironically. He framed the scene.

Pokemon: The Legacy of the Reserve. Directed by Michael Bay.

The Cubchoo growls angrily, smacking Pecha. The words used are simply too strong to be put into this post.
Similarly, Pecha smacks Meloira, causing a back and forth of simply smacking and biting.
Seth sits back, noting that a lack of explosions does not conform with what Michael Bay does. But then, he shouldn't know who Michael Bay is to begin with! I don't? No. Oh.

Quite a lot of minutes of vicious lady-fighting later, Seth begins to yawn of boredom. The simple nature of the confrontation is horrible and quite boring. In fact, he's beginning to think he'd rather listen to opera. or Oprah. Or both. Anything but just sitting like a duck. After realizing how boring and immobile he's become, he stands up and looks at Low. "Bored?" The harbringer of doom simply nods. It is a signal of imminent capture. Or death. Or perhaps both.

Both Pokemon have exhausted much of their power as well as their energy, slowing down. Meloira had already used an exhaustive amount of Ice Punches, and the shiny Ratata was... well... being shiny. And thus, as both started to catch their breath, Seth nodded back at Low. And with this, Low bared it's beak and unleashed a Peck on Meloira. Suffice to say, the Ratata looked at him endearingly, but this was promptly ignored by the Taillow. But maybe something along the lines of "you're next" would be close enough to what he felt for the shiny-Ratata-thing.

Meloira realizes this treachery upon her. Two against one, on one who happens to be female. She quickly turns to the Ratata. Betch, you ain't doing this to me, are you?!
And what if I am? Whatcha' gonna do about it, guuuuuuurl?

At this point Low had hoped that the Ratata would simply shut up so that he could just help his trainer capture an ice-type and be done with it. But this wasn't happening anymore. It simply wasn't. And as Meloira used a massive amount of Powder Snows, Low was tempted to simply give up, considering his only asset was the one Pokemon who couldn't keep it's mouth shut- wait what.


Low quickly grabs the Ratata using his claws and quite literally using it as a shield, gets in close enough to throw the Ratata away (with cries of obscenities that should not be spoken at this moment) and unleash a Brave Bird on Meloira, which hits Meloira hard but also inflicts a lot of recoil on Low, as he stops and falls backward, nearly at the end of his energy.

This is the perfect time to throw a PokeBall... Seth winces at the thought. This was brutal enough... I hope this works, dammit! He throws the Pokeball at Meloira, crossing his fingers and hoping that it works this time.

If there's an option after this one, it's running.

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Old November 8th, 2013 (11:43 AM).
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Songbird Songbird is offline
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Screw everything for ten seconds. We need to ship Seth with someone. You will now be returned to your regularly scheduled butt-kicking.

I am not getting caught by no man...
Oh no, Cubchoo broke free!

In an explosion of the Poké Ball (perfectly executed thanks to Michael Bay's directing, of course) the Cubchoo Meloeira de Bagette refused to be captured! She's a strong woman who don't need no man! And she was gonna prove it.

In a flurry of snow, a Blizzard rocked Seth and his Pokémon, freezing Low solid. As Seth was stunned by the Blizzard, unable to run, Meloeira started to walk toward him, death stare equipped and all. She had proven her dominance—her independence!

But Seth was persistent. She could see it in his eyes. He must have been a masochist, refusing to give up so easily. It would have been too tiring to keep fighting and leaving them.

Meloeira removed a Poké Ball from Seth's ownership, tapping herself with it and capturing herself. Immediately after the satisfying *ding*, though, she broke herself out and assumed leadership of the group, keeping her container close so she'd never be confined to it on that man's whims.

Cubchoo was caught!

Lv. 10
Powder Snow | Growl | Blizzard

Low's level didn't increase at all, because Low is still stuck on previous-generation mechanics.

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Old November 8th, 2013 (4:26 PM).
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Nami Tange

Satisfied that her companions had made it to the Pokemon Center, Nami quietly exited out the main door. She wanted some time to herself to explore the huge city she found herself in. She slowly made her way to the beaches of Mauville City, taking time to visit the shops and markets of the city along her path. The city was busy, with the noise of people always present wherever she went.

When she got to the beach, she blanched at the number of people already there. She had to walk around people as she meandered along the shore. She noticed quite a few large, crustacean-like Pokemon loitering on the beach. She scanned one with her Pokedex. "Clauncher," it said. "The Water Gun Pokemon. Through controlled expulsions of internal gas, it can expel water like a pistol shot. At close distances, it can shatter rock."

Nami blanched even further. Obviously a water-type, she thought. That wouldn't bode well for Torchic, and Natu was still a low-leveled Pokemon. Even if it does look cool, I can't very well catch it with my current team. Disappointed, she turned away from a nearby group of Clauncher. Then, she was knocked over as something wet hit her in the small of the back, soaking her in the process. She quickly rose and turned. A small Clauncher was standing a few paces away from her. It started making a strange hissing noise. Nami realized it was laughing at her.

"Really?" she called to it. "You knock me over and then just stand there laughing about it?" She was surprised that the primitive looking Pokemon even had a sense of humor.

The Clauncher just stood there laughing, then aimed it's claw at her, a blue glow lighting inside of it. She quickly drew Natu's Pokeball from her bag, deploying it towards the crustacean. Natu burst from the Pokeball, but her aim had been rather off. Natu had appeared behind the Clauncher, which did nothing to block the Water Gun. She ended up flat on her back, her front soaked and sore from the force of the blow.

"Natu," she spluttered, "Do something please!" Natu cocked her head at Nami. The command had confused it somewhat, so it decided to play it safe. A purple aura surrounded it briefly. Nami was now wet, sore, and enraged. "Of all the thing to do!" she yelled. "Couldn't you have done anything other than Calm Mind?!"

The Clauncher was fairly confused by these new events, and was rather stunned by Nami's yelling. These attributes also applied to the surrounding tourists and citizens who shared the beach. So, it did what a wise, old Magikarp had once told it. Kid, there's only one thing to do when you're in a life or death situation. Splash. Splash for all you're worth. Clauncher had taken this advice to heart. And so, now that he was in a confusing and potentially dangerous situation, he Splashed. Just started flailing as much as he could. Natu took this opportunity to continue to enrage Nami. The purple glow intensified around it.

Nami just shook her head. This was one of the saddest battles she had ever seen, one definitely worth going on some comedy shows that exhibited battle failures. One of the Pokemon was splashing around, the other was Calm Minding, even though it didn't know a special attack. Wait a minute, the more battle savvy side of her mind said. Calm Mind also boosts Special Defense! Which means that if Natu keeps this up, the Clauncher's Water Gun won't be able to scratch it! "Natu! Keep using Calm Mind!"

At this point the Clauncher seemed to sense the threat. Turning to face Natu, it launched another of it's Water Guns. Natu was knocked aside by the force of the blow, but the purple aura had already intensified, so it took very little actual damage. "Retaliate with a Peck attack!
Nami shouted. Natu responded quickly, it's beak elongating before smashing into the Clauncher, who was knocked into the air by the blow.

The Clauncher was a great shot though, and managed to smash Natu with another Water Gun even while in midair. Both Pokemon managed to land on their feet, though Natu landed a bit more gracefully. "Again!" Nami commanded. Natu obliged. This one looked like it hurt. The Clauncher, never one to go against his elders, did what the old Magikarp had told him to. Which is to say, he felt the pain of the attack, decided he was in trouble, and started splashing. Natu hit him again to make it stop. Nami reached for a Pokeball. Taking careful aim, she threw the ball at the Clauncher. It hit and the Clauncher was sucked inside. Nami waited with anticipation as the ball started to shake...
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Old November 11th, 2013 (9:37 PM). Edited November 12th, 2013 by Chalifoux.
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Chalifoux Chalifoux is online now
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Well, look at that, a post involving Nami yet not including Mia? What is this madness and how can BROtad almighty permit it?! Geez, the world be crazy nowadays, yo... Anyhoot, as we can all see, we're in the presence of a very special Clauncher. Yes, Clauncher is a guy (girl?) of simple likes, such as surfing all around the world, devouring Barboach, y'know, the simple, charming things life's got to offer a fit blue crab... Or orange, rather. Huh? Didn't I mention that Clauncher is orange and shiny because it's certainly a lot cooler that way? No? Well, now I did. And since there aren't any decent shiny Clauncher sprites out there, serve this picture for a reference as to how they're meant to look when shiny. Yup, they are sparkly and all that jazz, they truly are something!


Although we have yet to see if these sexy narrators are willing to give Nami the sheer awesomeness of a shiny Clauncher...


And we're not exact the kindest GMs out there...


Except that we are...


Holy Bonkers! A shiny Claucher of awesomeness was caught!
(Picture it in orange, please!)
Mega Launcher
Splash | Water Gun | Swagger | Flash Cannon
Natu grew up one level!

Plot Device - Stray Pokémon

See, in this honkin' big world of ours, there's joy and happiness, but there is also sadness, despair and loneliness. And these buddies down there know exactly what it means to be alone. These are the Stray Pokémon, originally introduced in this one post of the original RéBURST. As their name indicates, they used to be a Trainer's Pokémon, but were separated by facts only worth opt being called tragedies: they were abandoned, they got lost, their Trainer passed away, you name it, they've endured it. And all cities within Hoenn have their own rooster of Stray Pokémon.

You may encounter these guys at any point in your traveling Mauville, and they might allow themselves to be captured. HOWEVER, trying to acquire a stray Pokémon requires a few simple musts:

They are always showing signs of mistreatment and/or dirtiness.
They can be very docile, utterly scared, or incredibly savage, and they have reasons to be that way.
They require superb posts of excellent quality, otherwise your capture either will fail or you'll be requested to release your Pokémon.
And finally, the GMs come up with the backstory of your Pokémon, period.

There are times in which acquiring a Stray Pokémon is quite simple, but other times, a Perfect Paralyzing Pachydermous Pikachu Pack appears and kills everything that exists. Your call to try and get these guys. These are the Strays of Mauville:

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Old November 12th, 2013 (1:15 PM).
DLMuerte DLMuerte is offline
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Seth: Deus Ex Machina, or "Life Sucks." They're interchangeable.
Naturia Reserve -> New Route 1

Seth had an immediate first reaction of thinking that there was so much awesome standing in front of him. And he was so happy, that he had finally caught a Pokemon without bribing it with food. That was, of course, when he realized that he hadn't really caught it. On the contrary; it had caught itself, and afterwards let itself out and began demanding that he had to obey his whim. And it was soon after that the only thoughts he could muster were what in the utter hell have I even done?!

It was soon after Seth's pitiful rejoicing that he had realized that he was no longer in control, and that this woman was about to rule his life. But first, he needed a name, and gave her one that rang [and was also grammatically correct], Meloira. Of course this happened to be her actual name, but the name of this post is [partially] called Deus Ex Machina, so you know, this could so totally happen. Actually, nah, this would make sense outside of context, because after the Cubchoo nodded to signify that was her name, she started thinking of what would've happened if he had gotten it wrong.

"Does it at least start with, uh... M?"

Eventually, this would lead to Seth's total freezing and possibly death from hypothermia. But never mind that, because it won't happen now, anyways! Now?! What do you mean- What? I never meant to foreshadow an event that may or may not happen, if that's the kind of vibe you were receiving. I'm sure you did[n't]. Whether or not I did or didn't, that's not the point here! The point is to start rolling on with this Deus ex Machina, dammit! Deus ex- AND WHETHER OR NOT SETH IS AWARE OF THIS LITERARY DEVICE DOES NOT MATTER. In continuation, finally, Seth flipped out his Pokedex. As late as it may have been, he checked her entry.

Cubchoo, The Chill Pokemon

Its nose is always running. It sniffs the snot back up because the mucus provides the raw material for its moves. Their snot is a barometer of health. When healthy, their snot is sticky and the power of their ice moves increases.

Seth flipped his Pokedex to a close and stared at the Cubchoo, who in reply jumped up and smacked him in the face with her amazingly graceful and sexy snot. He shivered in reply and rubbed his face. Chill? Are you kidding me? He began to slide his way down the mountain, and seeing as the Cubchoo was quite independent, he yelled out, "don't fall behind!" The Cubchoo simply glared. This bee-atch! This is my territory, and he thinks he can do it better than me?! Bull- And she didn't even finish her thought because it would've gotten filtered anyways she had more pressing matters to attend to. And thus began a rough tumble- I mean, graceful slide- down the mountain.

At the base of the mountain, Seth wiped off the back of his pants and began a leisurely stroll to the edge of the island to catch a boat. Or something. But alas, with this Cubchoo, it was not the case. Hence the long and very harsh trip around the Reserve again. Unlike a traditional Pokemon Trainer, who trains himself/herself and the Pokemon with them, this was a Pokemon training her Trainer and his Pokemon. And it was hell. Forget everything I said about Low being the apocalypse-bringer. A lap around the reserve in rugged sweat and a lost Taillow who couldn't find his way around the Reserve led to what they felt was the apocalypse. Additionally, it was in a freaking blizzard, which only made matters worse, as well as more cold.

In short, Seth ended up growing what seemed to be the beginnings of a goatee, and Low ended up freezing himself and probably ended up KO'd in Seth's arms. And then, finally, they left and caught a boat- in which Seth healed Low and they rested, but there wasn't any food. Not because Seth wanted too, even though he did. Because Meloira demanded he did. And then, finally, when they got to Route 1, he glared at the Cubchoo, who was satisfied with this tour de force. And he walked. He was allowed to walk. It made him happy, somewhat, but it also made him slightly tired. In fact, he really wanted something to eat. He checked his pockets for a protein bar. Something. But there was absolutely nothing. He opened his backpack. Unlike the way it was before, it was destitute. He was appalled, until he reached in deeply and pulled out a Weedle.

"Of course." These damnable creatures. He was done with them. It simply sneered until Seth threw it on the floor with all his might. It ate my food. It ate. All. Of. My. Food. It was on.

Knowing that Meloira wouldn't listen to him, and that this Pokemon was a relatively high-ish Pokemon on the leveling system [psyche], he motioned for Low to come forth. He knew that Low both needed the experience as well as that he had no other choice to exact his hate for what now to be slowly expanding from spiders to "beings that crawl on the ground and spin webs."

So he commanded Low to "Peck it. Peck it like there's no freaking tomorrow." Which it did, at first. But it countered with a Poison Sting, and immediately as Seth realized where this was leading he simply sighed. It's going to go back and forth like this for a while, until both are extremely tired and I end up with some more experience, but a mutilated Weedle and a tired out and probably a poisoned Taillow.
"Low, let's just go." He sighed.
The Weedle looked at him, wide-eyed. The Taillow did the same.
Low turned around and began to walk next to Seth.

At this point, Meloira had busted out the popcorn [metaphorically], made herself comfortable, as well as decided the outcome of the battle to be a loss for Seth [because masochists don't deserve to win]. But at this point, there was nothing to gawk at! The performance is lost if the actors do not act! And therefore, she decided to intervene. Stopping Seth in his tracks, she spinned him around and forced him [with countless threatening growls and Powder Snow[s] and whatnot] to combat the Weedle. With everything he had. This wasn't Seth's plan, however he could make it work.

"Alright, Low." He sighed. "Apparently, due to an invisible wall," he said, referring to Meloira, "we cannot move ahead." Meloira glared but let the procession continue. "So, let's take this bugger out. Growl!"

Low growled, but it wasn't anything amazing. Seth groaned and the Weedle raised an eyebrow, lowering it's offense. "Growl some more." Low looked at him. "C'mon, Growl!"

Seth stamped his foot on the ground. "C'mon, man! I wanna hear you roar! I mean, Growl. Those are two different moves." He then returned to a face with furrowed eyebrows as the Weedle lowered the little offense it had some more, realizing that this wasn't getting anywhere. Why did I even sign up for this stupid resistance, any- oof!

Lesson #1: You do not lower your guard after on duty.

The Weedle shook itself from the impact of the Peck as another one landed. It used a String Shot, which tangled up Low and lowered it's Speed. Greatly. It then began to scurry away. I'll just- OOF!

Lesson #2: You do not lower your guard on duty.

After a reckless Brave Bird, the Weedle was somewhat climatically punted into the sea. I mean, pecked. Punting is Birdy's job, anyways. Seth simply yawned, and hungry, began to walk to Mauville again. "That was a waste of time, and now I'm just hungrier..."

Meloira got down from her perch and walked as well, impressed, but not very much so.

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Old November 13th, 2013 (10:24 PM).
Lilizuki Lilizuki is offline
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Finding nobody willing to fetch ice cream with her, it was with a turn of her heel that Imoen decided to fetch some on her lonesome. Unaware, was she, of the prankster that had tied her shoelaces together while she stared blankly into a crowd she wasn't even sure was present. Her spin took a turn of its own, as she tugged her leg forward, only to find her momentum quite lacking in the necessary force with which to undo the double-jiffy-whacknutter-morphosis-knot that would serve as her most unsteadying foe in the hours to come. Naught could have prepared her for the fall, the greater weight of her torso tumbled forwards through the air in the slowest of ways, in order to heighten her humiliation for the few onlookers that remained. Desperate clutches at the air found no friction with which to impede Imoen's descent, nor did the mousy squeal that emerged from her throat, shortly before her skull collided with the ground with a resounding crack.


A groan was Imoen's only company in the dank caves she found herself laying in, her cheek dotted with tiny stones and her limbs grazed from a fall she couldn't quite remember. With a few steadying breaths, the young woman collected her senses and pushes her scarcely-gloved hands against the ground and managed to pull herself into a sitting position. Itchy cotton scraped against her back as she leaned against the naturally-worn wall, and reminded the young woman of all she needed to know about waking up in the dank place she found herself in. Discomfort was nothing compared to the dangers she could have faced soon, at least, if she was to believe the stories told by those scared of the dark and unknown.

First, she grasped her left wrist and pushed the clunky button that would light the otherwise pitch-black cave. With a satisfying whir, the room was illuminated with a pale white glow, and revealed that it was just as uneventful as her first few steps into it had been. Not a long time ago, she hoped, or else the dull aching at the back of her head would be a larger problem than she thought. And the sharp-ledged rock that caused her fall would be her downfall, as opposed to something glorious, or at least dignified. For whatever value luck had, she wasn't bleeding, and that was good enough. All she needed to do was stand back up and keep trundling through the cave whose windy whispers made chills run down the young woman's spine.

With one hand on the wall to guide her steps, Imoen fiddled with the dials attached to her wrist with some hope of entertainment to accompany her. Instead, there was nothing; no comforting radio that accompanied her through all of her life, nor even a disk that she could play herself. They claimed that it would weight her down too much, as though she didn't have only the clothes on her back and a leather satchel around her waist. Never one to be defeated by bitterness, Imoen made certain to mentally note the good things she'd been graced with. The cap on her head, purely a gift, would shield her from some of the piercing light that was sure to await her, and, as always, she hung a hefty club from her hip.

It was that very club that Imoen wrapped her slender fingers around, quite the contrast considering the weight of the weapon, as she approached the end of her journey through the cave. It hadn't lasted as long as she might have hoped, although she wasn't sure how long she had hoped it would be, but the tug at her stomach as the cave narrowed down to a single passage was enough to let her know that this was it. And that was why she needed her club; its presence was comforting, its weight an anchor to keep her grounded in the uncertain times to come. Plus, as she got closer and closer to the looming tomb-door that awaited her, she realized that it would be good to have something heavy, in case it had gotten a little rusty in time.

It was a door. Just one simple, metal door, just like Imoen had used through all of her life. Except this one was somehow more daunting; perhaps it was the complete lack of sound from the other side, or the hefty steel backing that had kept it closed through so many years. It should have been something simple, but, to her, it was a looming titan that both beckoned and warned with the promises its presence provided. For a while, Imoen just stood beside it, poking at the gears and stroking the hinges to make sure it wouldn't collapse on her with only slight provocation. Eventually, even she had to realize that she was postponing the inevitable.

Grasping the thick metal bars that would unlock the myriad of locks holding the door tight, Imoen wheezed and grunted with the effort needed to turn the unused gears. With heaves and sighs, and bracing herself against the wall with a foot, the door steadily allowed itself to be opened. Each clunk of a freed bar made her heart pump faster, her muscles strain harder, until, at last, the wheel could turn no more, and all it would take was a simple push to finally open it. Imoen gripped the club at her side with one hand and, with one shove, pushed the steel barrier. It didn't move. She let out another groan, this time of exasperation, and pushed her shoulder against the door, attempting to use all of her weight to push it open. Slowly, and with just enough creaks to drive a woman insane, the door opened by an inch and began to get easier.

Until, at least, Imoen decided that one quick, clean shove would be more than enough, rather than wasting more of her energy on gradually convincing it to open. She took a few steps away from the door, stretching out her jumpsuit-shrouded muscles and preparing herself mentally for what she was about to do. Then, with a great push, she sprinted towards the door, as fast as her lanky legs could carry her, and, just a foot or two away from it, leaped into the air with her shoulder pointed at the door. She collided with it at full force.

Suffice to say, Imoen had overshot her goal. The steel titan easily opened thanks to the leap, swinging wide open into a world that Imoen had never laid eyes upon before; and she wouldn't get to, just yet. The heavens shone into her eyelids and forced them closed, red spots covering her vision and searing into her brain as she tumbled across ground similar to that inside the caves, but covered with dust and gathered rocks that tore at her clothes and bruised her already-tender bones. She game tumbling down some form of hill, struggling to get back to her feet, or get some sense of balance. There was nothing to do but clutch her club tight and hope that she landed somewhere that wouldn't be fatal.

For whatever mistakes the sheltered girl had made that day, she was alive. Her cuts stung and her bones pulsed with the low thrum of pain, her shoulder felt like gelatin and her hat was no longer on her head, but all manner of new sensations graced her. The gentle feel of wind brushing against the skin bared from her fall, the scent of a place untamed by relentless hygiene, and, best of all, the kisses of light that came to her as she slowly allowed her eyelids to flutter open. It was disconcerting, at first, but the first thing she saw of the outside world was something comforting. Resting just before her head, as it rested on what felt like sand, was her club. Steadfast as ever, with even the little engraving of "Ni" in the bottom surviving whatever wear and tear it had faced. The sight made a smile tug at the corners of her lips.

Fortunately, Imoen had went through more than enough tumbles in that day alone to know how she would recover. First, she pushed the button on her wrist and heard the familiar whirl slow down. Then, she dragged herself back up to a sitting position, against the nearest pile of rocks she could, and laid Ni out across her lap. She took a few moments, with her eyes closed, to take in the scents of the area, so she could picture it in her mind before seeing what actually waited. Not for long, because some part of her still worried about the dangers she would face, but for long enough to enjoy it, and the hope that everything would soon turn out to be alright.

The scents weren't what she could have expected, but they were pleasant. The fresh wind was pleasant, and refreshing, compared to the sterile air she was used to. On it, she could taste the faint scent of cooking, but also of nearby herbs. If she focused on it, she was certain that she'd be able to find her way to some fresh fruit; some that hadn't been preserved for a few years. Most of the other citizens had managed to be born when such things were still commonly available, but she had to be unlucky enough to be born at just the right moment to not remember any of it. The sounds had little to be said for them, besides being calming. There was a faint rustling, the cool air rushing along rocks, and the low buzz of static from her wrist to let her know that somewhere, there was a radio she could tune into.

Eventually, the young woman resisted the temptation of daydreaming to open her squinting eyes that were yet unused to the daylight and see the sights around her. Which were, unfortunately, far yes beautiful than she had imagined. She was perched against a mountainside, with a desert all around her and the odd patches of devastation sitting around it, along with the stumps of what she assumed were the remains of trees, most of which had been stolen away. Who by and for what purpose, the young woman could only assume was shelter. Still, as she steadied herself against her rocky seat and got to her feet, Imoen noticed a few patches of green amongst the dead woodland. Things were already growing again, and that made her grin wider than she had all week.

The rustling. Imoen had noticed it, but only just remembered that it might mean things were lurking nearby. It was only as she heard a nearby yell that she span around to face the source of the noise, and came face to face with two particularly stern looking women, wearing mere imitations of the uniforms that the guardsmen of Imoen's home would wear. Jackets were strewn across their shoulders, tightly held together at the waist by what looked like an empty bandoleer, save for what seemed to be a few pieces of weaponry that Imoen had already hoped she'd never encounter. But there they were, grenades, being used by a pair of women wearing dirty and torn clothing with no semblance of order or fashion save for fitting them. And they did not look pleased with Imoen, as their odd boots clambered across the fallen trees.

"Stop right there!" One of the pair yelled, one hand resting on her bandoleer, while the other tossed aside branches to ease her path towards Imoen. And it was as the woman yanked aside some fallen tree-parts that Imoen laid her eyes upon the first mutated creature she had ever seen for true, and she wished she hadn't. It seemed as though it was composed of tens of thick, sinuous ropes that slid across each other's fleshy surfaces like a rolling ball of rotten green flesh. She would have thought it was some grotesque toy were it not for the piercing yellow eyes that peeked out from the writhing mass of tentacles, letting the young woman know that it was very much alive. And all the more horrifying for it.

Imoen screamed, because it was all she could think to do, as terror gripped her heart and her hands tightened around Ni. There were only two options for how she could react, and Imoen would not have been chosen for this most vital of tasks were she the kind to flee from danger when her people needed her defense, and her life depended on it even more. Still screaming, the young woman charged forward and ignored the boisterous commands of her assaulters as nothing more than attempts to distract her from her goal of survival. It seemed they hadn't expected her to attack, much less so viciously, and that meant, for the moment, she had the advantage over the mutant and its controllers.

With a mighty wallop, Imoen slammed Ni into the mutant in an upwards swing, which sent it stumbling backwards across the branches while her momentum only continued, headed straight towards one of the raiders that would have sought to capture her for whatever nefarious purposes they had in mind. But her naivety was her downfall, as she underestimated the power and determination of the mutant in defense of its masters. From out of the branches came a great swinging tentacle, slashing its length across Imoen's spine and causing a great searing pain to shoot through her. Her charge turned into a mere stumble forwards, as she knew that continuing her sprint would only lead to falling flat on her face for the third time that day.

Luckily, Imoen had traveled far enough to be within arm's reach of one such raider. While the mutated creature crawled out of the branches properly, she dashed into the raider, who was on unsteady footing, and knocked her clean off of her feet with a bash of Imoen's shoulder. Curses came from the mouth of the fallen raider, and the young woman was more vulnerable to being overwhelmed in close range, but at least it meant she couldn't be targeted by the explosive weights that hung from the bandoleers of the mutant-handlers. Unfortunately, her victory was short-lived, as the raider that went unmolested by violence called out a command to the emerging mutant, which swiftly made sure that Imoen would regret daring to fight back.

Four of the creature's tentacles shot out from where it stood, surrounding Imoen before she could get a chance to bat them away, and wrapping around her midriff slowly. They knotted together and ran over one another to tighten their bonds and prevent the young woman's escape, while she was squeezed like a tube of toothpaste with only a tiny amount left. It exacerbated the wounds she'd already suffered, causing blood to burst the scabs that had slowly formed across the cuts she suffered from her fall, and squeezing hard enough on her stomach to make her want to spew her breakfast back out to the world. For all her kicking and flailing of her head, she couldn't free herself from the surprisingly strong creature that was attempting to crush and restrain her. But, the creature's grasp was not yet complete.

Imoen's arms were still freed, and it seemed as though the monster only acted efficiently while being given commands. So, with a swing of her shoulder and a flick of her wrist, Imoen flung Ni with all of her might at the still-standing raider. She had barely the time to utter a curse word before the flattest end of Ni smashed into her forehead and sent her stumbling backwards, tripping over her own feet while her senses were robbed of her and she had no time to issue any further commands. With a grin of triumph, Imoen watched as one of her enemies was dispatched, only to let out another cry of pain as the tentacles wrapped more tightly around her, while the mutant was enraged at the sight of its mistress being taken down by its prey.

Consciousness begged to slip away from Imoen, but she would not have any of it, not while she still had some small chance of defeating her foe. So, her hand shot out despite the shaking it had thanks to the crushing constriction of the creature and grabbed one of its tentacles as tightly as it could, before twisting it sharply so she would be tilted towards the ground. And so she was, her arms next wrapping around the shattered stump of a tree and tugging tightly on it, with enough strength to tug her legs back towards the ground, despite the strength of the creature doing all it could to pull her back With grunts and wheezes, Imoen dragged herself towards the sight of her resting Ni, which seemed to be rolling towards her of its own volition.

It took only a few more steps, and a battle of strength with the creature, before Imoen could once again wrap her hands around the girth of Ni. And then let go of whatever tethered her to the ground. The poor little tentacle monster couldn't have expected that its own strength would be used against it, as the sudden loss of friction meant that its tugs were only for the purpose of causing Imoen to fly towards it, with Ni tightly gripped in her hands and brought backwards to prepare to strike it in the face. It was all the creature could do to let out some small whimper of worry before Ni was swung at its face, causing it to go tumbling and turning into a tree stump, knocked out cold.

With barely a breath left in her lungs, Imoen hugged Ni to her chest and did a little victory dance before she crumpled to the ground, exhausted, beaten, and bloodied...


"What the **** just happened?!" The first Officer Jenny cried out as she pulled herself out of one particular pile of fallen boxes, only to see her partner and her Pokemon knocked out, and the insane young woman who'd stolen a man's hat and broken into a box factory laying bruised on the ground, hugging a Magikarp to her chest.
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Old November 15th, 2013 (12:14 AM). Edited January 21st, 2014 by Dansparce.
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Dansparce Dansparce is offline
The Unbeatable
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Dark Cave
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Posts: 457
“We’ve restored your Pokémon to full health. We hope to see you again!” The Nurse spoke, hurriedly handing Mia her Pokéballs and giving a cherry smile. “Thanks!” Mia smiled back, leaving the lady. Humming a happy tune, Mia strolled out of the Pokémon Centre and onto the busy streets of Mauville. She released her latest capture, Chinchou, out in front of her, scooping it up in one arm. “Hmm... You know, I really need to come up with a nickname for you...” Mia said, listing off a few ideas to the anglerfish, while walking around without any sense of direction.

After what felt like hours of aimless wandering, Mia finally found herself at the ‘fanciest’ establishment in all of Hoenn (or at least Mauville), Casino de Bolts. A bright neon sign marked the way in, which just so happened to be lined with marble pillars and soft, red carpets. There were also at least five miniature waterfalls creating gentle streams of pristine water. And to top it all off, at the very end of this magnificent walkway was a giant fountain, which beautifully sprayed waters of blue, red and green. But what was the centrepiece, you ask? Well, it was a huge, golden statue of a Skitty and Wailord.

Mia gawked in awe at its lavish entrance, wondering what it could possibly look like from the inside. Eventually, she snapped herself out of her trance, realising that just looking at it would not be enough. Her curiosity and excitement were peaked, Mia needed to enter this casino. Her legs slowly carried her awe-struck body over to the front door, but stopped when she saw something unusual happen. Two big and burly bouncers chucked a pair of blue-hatted, short wearing youngsters. They reminded her of a certain Rattata trainer from Johto.

“AND STAY OUT!” Bouncer one shouted, turning back into the building. Bouncer two remained at his post, giving the Youngsters a glare sharper than Meloira’s attitude. The two kids slowly picked themselves off of the ground, disheartened and disappointed with their failure. Mia stared at the two boys, puzzled by what had just happened. Then Mia remembered, Casino de Bolts has an age limit of 18 and over.

“Oh...” Disappointment immediately covered her face, spoiling a once wonderful moment. ‘Maybe they wouldn’t notice that I’m underage?’ Mia thought, trying to instil a single drop of excitement back into her body. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and Mia quickly found herself slumping towards the exit. However, just before being able to leave this beautiful, but forbidden place, Mia felt a hand rest on her shoulder.

“Hey there hotst-GWAH!” A pair of high pitch voice squealed as Mia elbowed the figure behind her. She instantly turned around, to see the pair of youngsters sprawled across the ground. “Jeez lady, why’d you have to hit us so hard?” The slightly deeper voice said, placing his official Youngster Joey hat back on. “Well, maybe you boys shouldn’t have grabbed onto me!” Mia shouted, hoping that she could scare them into apologizing. However, something she said must’ve hit a nerve, as the other Joey-clone went a bright shade of red. “WHO’RE YOU CALLING BOY, FRIZZLES!?” Joey MK III shouted, grabbing onto a small ball attached to her pocket. Mia’s face went blank, was this ‘girl’ serious? Dressing like that, of course she’d be mistaken for a male.

“I’m... Sorry?” She responded, confused by the girl’s hostility. “Sorry? YOU WILL BE AFTER WE KICK YOUR ASS!” The girl turned to her twin, still boiling red in anger. “ARE YOU GOING TO SIT BACK AND WATCH, OR ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME?” Joey v2 was too scared to deny his sister’s demands, instantly pulling a Pokéball out of his pocket. Together, through the power of twinness, the two collectively shouted, “WE’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT OUR RATTATA ARE IN THE TOP PERCENTAGE OF RATTATA!”

Two purple rats materialised out of thin air, both of them screeching their lungs out. “Well... If it’s a fight you want...” Mia said, pulling two Pokéballs out of her mess of a bag. Her hands quickly launched the Pokéballs into the waterfall-powered current, releasing the two fish into the pristine water. “A fight you’ll receive. Vincent, try a brine out on Rattata 1, Chell use Supersonic on Rattata 2!” Mia commanded, excitement building up due to this being her (and ReBurst’s) first trainer battle.
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Old November 15th, 2013 (6:25 PM).
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YellowGardevoir YellowGardevoir is offline
"Intend to? I already have."
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Nami Tange

Nami watched in anticipation as the Pokeball rocked once... twice... a third time... then stopped rocking and made a click and a "ding." "Yes!" Nami exclaimed, shocking some nearby beach-goers out of their sand and wave-induced ecstasy. She returned Natu to it's Pokeball with an expression of gratitude. Then she picked up Clauncher's Pokeball. Speaking quietly to it, she said, "Now then, let's get you to a Pokemon Center." She then left the beach and walked back to the Pokemon Center.

The attending nurse seemed surprised to see her back at the clinic so soon after visiting, but after Nami explained that she had a new Pokemon to heal she understood. When she placed Clauncher's Pokeball into the machine and looked at it's data on the machine, she blanched. "Did... Did you know that this Pokemon is shiny?" she asked timidly.

"Shiny? What do you mean?" Nami questioned.

The nurse turned the monitor towards Nami. On the screen was a 3-D representation of Clauncher. Instead of the normal blue that it was before, it was now a red-orange color. "That is a shiny Pokemon. It's orange coloration is extremely rare, considering most Claunchers are blue."

Nami was confused. "But... that Clauncher was blue before. It somehow changed colors." Unless her eyes had been deceiving her before, which was highly unlikely considering that she could now tell that it was orange, then it had somehow changed colors after she had caught it. The nurse seemed confused, and mentally made a note to tell a professor the first chance she had. Externally she simply waved Nami on, informing her that there was nothing to worry about.

Nami left the clinic confused but happy. She had a rare Pokemon on her belt, and was in a town with millions of things to do. She saw a sign for a gym, but moved on without entering, not deeming her team strong enough to take on a gym leader. Thinking that perhaps she might train on some wild Pokemon outside of town, she left through Mauville through the entrance she had originally came through. The route seemed much the same, all seaside breezes and green grass. She cast her gaze around the field, looking for a wild Pokemon to beat up... I mean, prove my strength to... I give up, I have no way to make beating up defenseless wild Pokemon sound humane. Anyway, Nami didn't see any, but she did see a young boy playing with a Butterfree.

"Hey," the boy shouted. "Do you have Pokemon? Do you want to battle?" Following Nami's nod of assent, the boy cried out, "Yay! Go Lillipup!" He deployed his Normal-type Pokemon, and the battle was on.
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Old November 16th, 2013 (2:39 AM). Edited November 17th, 2015 by Sephear.
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Sephear Sephear is offline
Believe in the you that believes in cheese
Silver Tier
Join Date: Apr 2011
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Jeff Miles: They...they didn't say there were hordes...oh the humanity.

Jeff Miles, our handsome hero who must have a stronger set of plot armor than we thought considering how many sinking ships he survives. Oh, right...current events and exposition. Welp, Jeff ended up surrounded by yet even MORE women. BUT HE STILL DIDN'T HAVE THE BRASS TO MAKE A MO*thump* OW! TERRY WHAT DA EFF?

I thought I'd save Birdy the trouble of shutting you up.

Oh my...thanks, you may have just saved my hindquarters. *AHEM!* Jeff smiled pleasantly when Nami pointed the way to the Pokemon center and was about to lead his two la*Thump* MPF!...THE TWO LADIES WHO HE IS NOT SCHMOOZING AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF MANIPULATING HIM INTO SCHMOOZING...towards the Pokemon Center, when he heard Imoen pipe up about ice cream. Ice cream...yum this girl is a GENIUS! But oh...damn! "I'd love to." He chimed in out loud. "But my pokemon come before my needs, Romanov and Rodrigo have both been in multiple battles with little rest and berries can't fix everything. I need to head to the Pokemon Center now but afterwards I'd love some ice cream."

After a few more steps he turned around since Imoen hadn't answered yet but she was already gone. Probably to find a man who actually tries to get girls' attention-I MEAN BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T HEAR HIM AND WANTED ICE CREAM NAO! So he followed Nami and Mia to the Pokemon Center, noting with joy...Really? Whatever he noticed it was bigger than any other he had seen and he thought it was JUST NEAT-O! The girls who lead the way got their pokemon healed first, and after a surprisingly short period of contemplation decided to abandon her shipmate to the smexiest girl stealing trainer alive. But of course even though Mia surely would have fallen to Jeff's irresistible charms had they spoken at all...they didn't. When Jeff finally put his three pokeballs in the tray fate intervened...beginning with the sound of a spanish guitar.

"Oh Arceus...there's that noise again...what is that?" And with that Rodrigo de Montoya el Juarez burst out of his pokeball r-well a slightly redder shade of green-with outrage. What is this madness? I will not be healed by a cold, heartless machine. I need to be treated with the warmth and caring that can only come from a hot blooded female...or from the most cold blooded, sexy sexing sex sex pun innuendo mistress of evil sensuality love. Do not worry dear Meloira...I do not know how, but we will meet again. And someday after I have re-payed my debt to this foolish knave we shall be together, and I will prove to your parents that I am worthy, I will stand proud as your man instead of merely eloping...And I will convince you to allow me that harem. AND THEN, Signor RODRIGO DE MONTOYA EL JUAREZ SHALL BE THE ULTIM- The Span-Latnish Pokemon's completely unintelligible to humans and therefore pointless speech was cut off as he hacked and sprayed water on the floor of the pokemon center.

The nurse grimaced and swept Rodrigo off of the floor without wasting a moment. "Oh my, has your Larvitar swallowed any noticeable amount of salt water lately? Rock-types don't have the same bodily functions as us, he has no way of getting rid of that salt on his own, and if we don't do something about it he'll be eroded from the inside."

"Wait...that's a thing? And how can you tell he's a he?" Jeff stammered out both questions despite how obvious the answers were, but luckily our dear nurse explained very specifically in complete understanding of how a young man might not know these things.

"Of course it's a thing, I'm a doc-nurse. And because he's just plain masculine, unlike you, silly dolt." And with that she completely ignored how utterly lost Jeff's expression still was and whisked Rodrigo away to a rock-type friendly stomach pump.

Jeff turned back to Mia, sure that she must have heard at least some of the nonsense and stayed to watch and to see what Le Hawt Jeff was-"Huh, she's gone." WHY DO YOU INSIST ON RUINING MY MOMENTS? I'M TRYING TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD YOU BUMFUDDLING NINNYJACK! Jeff scratched his head at the weird feeling it was filled when I insulted him...oh that's right I finally got it right to where he couldn't hear me...you really don't know what you have till-screw it! So Jeff had to sit and wait for Rodrigo to get his special little snowflake treatment, but it wasn't all bad. At least in there he was safe from the insanity that had plagued his Pokemon journey so far. A good ten or so minutes later when the nurse finally returned with Rodrigo Jeff was about to ask if he would be alright when the memory of yet another shexeh ladeh was forced back into the forefront of his mind by me resurfaced, and he practically smacked Rodrigo with the pokeball he was sealed back inside of as Jeff rushed back to the world and out of the only pokecenter immune to our special brand of crazy.

Where did Karly go? Wasn't she following us? "Karly? Oh Karly? Where...who am I kidding? Nobody could hear me through this cacophony unless it was a part of some plot device." Wait...does he know- "And I'm not in some story, that's nonsense." Aha, sweet ignorant Jeff. With a hefty sigh our hero realized that Nami had the right idea all along and he should spend some time by himself, after all he was likely to meet up with everyone else at some point, he was back in fate's cruel hands and they all seemed linked. He had seen some interesting pokemon on his surprisingly peaceful sojourn through Route 1 and decided to go get a bit of extra training in and maybe even expand his team a little more. The poor fool, to think Route 1 ALMOST had nothing epic happen within it's bounds.

Poor doomed Jeff made his way back down the path he came into Mauville through and after padding over the magically shorter bridge saw Nami about to get in a battle with some boy and a Butterfree. She hadn't seemed all that interested in talking to him earlier and she was busy, so he simply waved as he passed them on the off chance that she'd see. After once again missing the chance to not be the subject of more plot torture Jeff followed the Jeff-nip I dangled in front of him...*ahem* I mean felt himself led by some mysterious force a fairly distant section of the beautiful green plains towards TOTAL SAFETY...I swear...muahahaha.

Jeff continued to walk aimlessly until he heard a lone sound that wasn't the wind...the only other sound he had heard for a depressingly long while. it sounded almost like- "A bark? What the heck-" Could await Jeff besides the obvious (That is of course...pain). He turned to see a Growlithe, standing all by itself around 40 feet away, just glaring at him with the most intense and comprehensive stare he had ever seen on a pokemon's face. And he had seen that one sitcom soap-opera thing about the ingenius Audino with the messed up leg that insulted people constantly but always figured everything out and was loved in the end, his name was shed or log cabin, some stupid thing people who aren't sexy narrators live in. Jeff got that greedy and malefic grin you must all be aware of now at the sight of a challenger that might just so happen to fit in a pokeball after a beating. "Rodrigo, you've got a type advantage and the MoPad my excellent sense as a trainer tells me you're not at the level Romanov and the Pidgey you seduced are yet, so this one's all yours!" The still-completely-alien-to-this-world instrument noises echoed through the empty air in complete defiance of physics in too many ways to count as Rodrigo emerged from his home angry for the second time in the past few hours.

At least I am free of that putrid liquid those stupid fish types that keep eating rule breaking roleplayers live in, your command will be Signor. Rodrigo took a battle ready stance and smirked at the idiot dog who was not afraid to face him in battle. Romanov, who's really managed to fade into the background lately, just watched in curiosity of what would happen next. His only concern was to keep Jeff safe if things went wrong or he was ordered into battle, so he would simply observe and be ready if the need arose to act.

Captain Beauregard Lefleur of the eastern Route 1 Growlithe Patrol stood firm at sight of the enemy, he didn't care if there was any type disadvantage to be had. He would remain resolute, the men depended on him to lead them and how could he if he couldn't keep some lousy upstart out of their territory? Rodrigo stepped towards his opponent and thought on his first attack (he had decided moments ago to ignore Jeff, but my throat got sore from all the blabbing I've had to do to communicate this long post to you, my beautiful audience. So I forgot to mention it earlier) It would be easier if there were some lovely things around he could seduce into fighting the captain for him.

When he actually thought about it Rodrigo remembered he only had one legitimate attack, so he charged at Beauregard and...bit him. Beauregard powered through the pain and did to Rodrigo what he does best...he bit him. And so went on the pointless gnawing for a while longer until Beauregard's jaw got sore from chewing on a living rock and he realized he was losing because Rodrigo's teeth could at least sink into his flesh, so he leapt back and considered the target. Pretty impressive Rodrigo, I must concede the contest of endurance to you.

Rodrigo smirked. You are a worthy adversary as well Captain, but I must ask, how and what do you know of me?

Beauregard's face turned grave again, as if insulted. "You can tell I'm the captain yet you don't remember me? The whole reason I joined the Growlithe patrol was because you took my sweet frozen-hearted love bear from me you swine!"

How dare you call me such you cur! I shall- Rodrigo's brow furrowed as a thought occurred to him. Beauregard, is that you? Wait...when Meloira said her parents weren't disappointed in her because of my social status...she meant...

You did not even bother to find out if she was single before courting her? You worthless sultry hound! Forget about giving thine opponent honorable and fair combat. With the pleasantries and ironic insults over Beauregard scrabbled at the ground only a moment before breaking the surface and disappearing beneath the earth. Before Rodrigo could react the captain burst from below and hit Rodrigo's most sensitive area and simultaneously launched him into the air, thanks to Rodrigo's dual types the attack was not super-effective, but considering where it hit it still did plenty of damage. And that's not all, I'm plenty prepared for dealing with pathetic stiffs like yourself. Guess what dear Meloira taught me through the many nights of amour we spent before she ever met you? Beauregard bared his fangs and his mouth began to fill with terrifyingly cold mist and he jumped to catch his most hated opponent in his mouth, ice began to form on Rodrigo around the frozen fangs rather quickly.

How does a simple Growlithe know Dig AND Ice Fang? There's no way, he's totally gonna forget them both right after catch him just like Rodrigo forgot Sandstorm. Who said you're going to catch him? I'm much to persistent not to catch that damn Growlithe! He's got the fighting spirit I'm looking for! Wait can you hear me again? I just hope I can pull it off before something horrible happens, this journey is unpredictable so far.That statement's too ambiguous! I can't tell if......Whatever.

The Larvitar had no intention of losing twice in one day, even if it was to an enemy that could break through his defenses so easily. He struggled to move his arms through the ice that was spreading from his torso, but to no avail. He could still move his head though, and righteous fury at the humiliation he was suffering filled him with power. (Guts kicked in, for anyone who doesn't remember how it works.) Luckily Beauregard was not much larger than himself and he was able to reach his target with his head. Rodrigo stretched his neck as far as he could (Rock-types can stretch?) and sank his teeth into the Growlithe captain's soft and vulnerable tail. Beauregard yelped and tossed Rodrigo away as he spasm'd in pain.

Rodrigo landed in a heap, but he had come much too far to give up. The spanish Larvitar dreamboat strained his rock-hard muscles (yup we're that low on comedic material) to stand and deliver doom to the failure in love that was Beauregard Lefleur who would soon undoubtedly be a failure in battle as well. But between his damaged lower extremities and the block of solid frost encapsulating part of his torso the warrior could not stand. "Oh no, Rodrigo!" Oh yeah Jeff, he's been shouting orders at Rodrigo this whole time, but if you know how to read he was being ignored. "You've done enough for one day buddy, return!" Beauregard sped towards the weakened object of his hatred, fangs ready to deliver love's justice. Just at the last moment a red light stole his victory from him, Beauregard slid to a stop and turned towards the human.

You...you bring him back out! Let him face me in single combat and die like a warrior you coward! His fur rose in pure rage and his teeth gleamed with murderous intent.

Jeff shuddered at the glare the Growlithe sent his way. "Uhm...alright still unnamed Pidgey, you're up!" The pokeball thrown moments later released Jeff's recently caught Pidgey to battle.

Beauregard looked down, lost in anger. You...dare to steal my hard earned victory away from me, and then try to defeat me with numbers instead of skill? There can be NO mercy for a villain as despicable as you. And he let out a sharp whistle followed by a series of angry barks. Brothers! The honor of this battle has been broken! It is time for punishment!

"Did...did that Growlithe just whistle? HOW IS THAT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!" Jeff's curiosity was cut short when he heard more barking...so much barking in fact that there was a low rumble behind it. Jeff looked towards the symphony of his doom and saw overtaking the crest of the hill behind Beauregard...an entire horde of Growlithe charging his way. "You've gotta be kidding me...why didn't I just go get ice cream?" The wave of orange flowed perfectly around Beauregard on it's way to murder town, and for a second Jeff had no idea how he could even stall the train to said town, let alone stop it.

*Beep* "That Pidgey knows Uproar moron."

"Shut up dex, you aren't in this post!"

"I am now bumfuddling ninnyjack."

"Hey!...Yeah thanks, jerk...why does that sound familiar?" Heheh. "Alright Pidgey, use Uproar!

In a bit of surprising luck the horde of killdogs was not concerned with eating the delicious bird, so when it began to stomp around in their midst and squawk so loud that they're ears actually hurt it disrupted their harmony. Anarchy ensued as Growlithes began to crash into each other left and right until on loud bark silence them, and another focused their rage again as Beauregard pointed at the Pidgey with his nose. When the horde simultaneously turned towards her the Pidgey realized very quickly the human was not worth her own life, and she flew straight up before they could rip her to pieces. "She...She abandoned me...I thought Rodrigo's philandering was more powerful than that...crapcrapcrapohmigodimgonnadiehere." When he made the mistake of speaking all the Growlithes focused on Jeff once again and he realized he was truly and utterly screwed.

Romanov however, was surprisingly quick witted and rational even in this situation, ESPECIALLY for a Munchlax. He danced back and forth, waggling his glowing fingers all the while. Jeff was so sure of his incoming death he forgot what this meant and yelled at his last hope. "ROMANOV THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR DANCING! WE ARE GOING TO DIE! WHY DON'T YOU HELP INSTEAD OF-" Jeff was silenced when the ground actually began to shake at the closeness of the doompuppy stampede and he only just then noticed Romanov was glowing brighter and brighter. Just as the sea of orange crashed over Romanov and barreled towards Jeff the brightness of the Munchlax's body reached it's peak and spread outward from in in sweet, yet still unimaginably painful salvation.


Jeff's aching eyelids were forced open by plot stuff and he was able to turn his head just enough to gasp at the sight around him. He was on the edge of a huge crater with unconscious fuzzy orange lumps strewn all about, and a scorched Munchlax in the middle. "That was some Explosion...I guess I'm not catching anything else today, that would require the strength to crawl towards one of them. Maybe this is what that doctor meant when he diagnosed me with 'Protagon-itis' the day I was born..." The only moving figure throughout all the destruction was a single Pidgey, which hopped around until it found a pokeball that had rolled away from Jeff, and shook back and forth with attempts to weak to break out of it. The Pidgey tapped the button with it's beak. Oh Rodrigo! Are you alright? You must live so we can escape this stupid human and be together! The time that followed rendered her attempts to fight back tears a failure.

The pokeball released it's grasp and a Larvitar flew out shouting in it's pokemon shouts. Argh! I don't fear that loveless sack of fur! Let me face him in-uh-uh...such carnage...could the tubby bear have done this? After analyzing the situation it became clear to Rodrigo that the battle was at a tie for the moment, but he still had a way to win. He could not beat the Captain in single comment at this point...but he could imprison him. He limped along to the inattentive and no longer conscious Jeff and grabbed one of the prison sphere's that had fallen around him in the chaos. He made his way over to the crater next, but he couldn't keep his balance between the terrain, his fatigue, and the lump of ice on him even with the boost of power from Guts. Rodrigo tumbled all the way down the crater until he slammed into a rock that had been hard enough to survive the explosion, and the ice shattered.

With his mobility restored Rodrigo sauntered over to the lump in the center of the crater that was Romanov, he dug through the Munchlax's fur until he found a Citrus berry before dropping it in it's mouth. The snoring quickly made it clear that with the healing power of the delicious berry made sure Romanov was more napping then unconscious. With his savior likely to survive Rodrigo could finally search until he smelt the world's greatest stench of unrequited love, then there was no doubt he knew which Growlithe was Beauregard. He summoned the last of his strength to drag his feet next to the limp form of his greatest enemy, regretting that he gave tubby the berry instead of eating it himself. Enjoy servitude, it's all a weakling like you could ever amount to with a strong woman like Meloira. When Rodrigo moved to take another step his leg gave out beneath him and he hit the ground like a sack of potatoes, his final movement as his vision faded was lightly tapping the sphere against the Growlithe before giving in to the dreamless darkness, content that he might have another chance to battle the Captain.
Sometimes all you need in life are the simple pleasures.

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Old November 16th, 2013 (3:54 PM). Edited November 16th, 2013 by Chalifoux.
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Chalifoux Chalifoux is online now
:: Lives In SHADES of COOL ::
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Leave your cast alone for a while they said. They are perfectly capable of taking care for themselves they told me. And look at what happened. Jeff managed to accidentally everything... AGAIN. By golly, if I only had a coin for every time that kid accidentally everythings. Yes, everything is now a verb, and Jeff is certainly very adept at everythinging.

And so, here they are, everythinging at their very best, unconscious armies of Growlithe lying around in the neatly defined crater that Romanov's Explosion created. And amongst the ruckus and puppy-like soldiers, Rodrigo el Juarez has managed to imprison his greatest rival within the steel-clad confines of a metallic device of captures. Question is, will he succeed in getting rid of Captain Beauregard Lefleur?


The suspense is unbearable...


So much that I might as well loose interest in this...


Yup, I just stopped giving a crap about it... Wanna see me not giving a crap again?

Also, Growlithe was caught and whatever. Romanov the Munchlax and Windshear the Pidgey skyrocketed to Level ten, whilst Rodrigo jumped all the way to level eight. Because facing the Royal Army of the Holy Empire of Growlithe (by the Grace of Goomy) /does/ come with rewards, y'know?

Lv. 10
Snore | Morning Sun | Rest | Ember

Plot Device - Salesman, by the Grace of Goomy

Fawkes Cortéz is a man of simple likes and simple means. He was born to an adequate, middle class family. He certainly didn't get to rent any limousines for prom, but he learned from a very early age that working hard comes with rewards. Son of Gerardo Cortez and Evangeline Swanson, and an only child. Just like his parents, Fawkes was blessed by the RNG of genes, as proven by his piercing, round blue eyes, peachy skin and dirty blond hair. His face was round but not because of weight, and his complexion has always been averagely slim - not too skinny, yet not very build, if at all-.

Fawkes has enjoyed dressing in simple attires consisting of a simple white shirt with short sleeves, dark gray skinny jeans, white sneakers and a simple black cap that goes along nicely with the mildly-dense beard that spreads majestically across his face. It was at age 19 that his parents grants him with a very special gift - a Flabébé - when he began traveling the mysterious island of Hoenn. And now, at age 37, he's still seen around, carrying a thick bag with all sorts of items and rarities, and his first Pokémon - now a Floétte - has made her home at his shoulders.

If there is anything that can serve to identify Fawkes and his Floétte, it most likely is the fact that they sell very rare goods for an dequate amount of money. All of these are treasures that they've found in their eighteen years of traveling the islands that compose Hoenn. His current stop is that of Mauville City, and as such, you might as well spot him around with Floétte floating by. As for the rarities he sells - which he'll make sure to let you know he has the moment this impulsive male spots you -, serve this convenient list for a reference.

Herbs, Medicine, Revives and the like - 2,000 Poké each.
Evolution Stones - 2,500 Poké each.

Additionally, within his many rarities and goods, you'll notice three gems. One is gray, the other two are blue and purple, respectively. They are shaped like hexagons, and are the size of a Pokéball *cough, cough, Burst Heart, cough*. Upon closer analyzing, you'll see the gray one has nothing else to it, but the blue one and purple one seem to contain a smaller version of a Zubat and a Goomy, respectively. - 1,000 for the gray one, 10,000 for the other two.

Lastly, within his bag, you'll see a Pokéball and, when deployed, a Magikarp will pop up. It is no ordinary fish Pokémon, however. Legends have told that this very same Magikarp was bred by the best breeders of the entire world, and raised by Champion Cynthia herself. You can get a piece of its epic awesomeness for a modest 500 Poké.

Finally, you can also challenge him to a battle, in which case I will provide you with details on his team. Be careful, tho, you might die and explode if you do challenge him... On second thought, go ahead, exploding characters sound like fun.

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Old November 18th, 2013 (3:45 AM). Edited November 18th, 2013 by Lilizuki.
Lilizuki Lilizuki is offline
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"I'm telling you; she needs a doctor, or a psychotherapist, not an interrogation." Nurse-Officer Jenny sighed, her nimble fingers working to wrap a fresh bandage around the shoulder of a slumped over young woman, whose frayed red hair created a pretty pattern as it rested on the plain white desk, in a plain grey room, with a plain black ceiling and a plain creamy-kinda-color trio of chairs. She looked first over the bruised captive's form, noting dat fiiiine booteh before giving every wrapping and plaster a once-over to make sure none would come unfurled, then shooting a forlorn glance at her now-empty medical kit. "Or a fishmonger..." She mumbled beneath a stray lock of hair, glancing at the mirror, behind which sat the injured girl's possessions.

"Your objections are noted, Jenny." Jenny repeated with a furrowed brow, while her fingers tapped incessantly on the edge of the desk, just yearning to reach out for the pink box of powdered donuts that rested nearby. Her lip twitched at the thought of them, but her belly reminded her that she needed to keep her stress in-check without devouring half the Sheriff's fridge. "But I can't let her go yet. I need to find out what makes a girl, a young woman, even, decide to go on a crime spree like hers. Did somebody set her up to it? Decided to cause chaos? Corporate sabotage? You know how cardboard box factories can get, and we're going to have them riding our butts like bouncy castles if we don't make even a token attempt at investigati-" She shook her head, placing her officer's cap on the table and shaking off her jackets to rest on the back of her chair. "Just give her the injection."

Nurse Jenny opened her mouth to speak again, but resigned herself to pulling the experimental needle out of her pack and briefly turning over the young woman's arms to search for her most prominent vein. It was as she did this that the young woman mumbled to herself, eyes slowly blinking open as a low groan escaped her lips. She felt the prick against her arm, but could protest only too late, as lightning shot through her veins and the myriad of bruises that bleached her pale hide swiftly began to heal. "Thank Joy for experimental healing stimulators..." The Nurse-Officer muttered, as a brief glance of the interrogation room was stolen from their prisoner in exchange for a slightly different perception.


The low thrum of whiskey's kiss pounded through Imoen's skull like a hail of cannonballs through the finest of ships, accompanied by the brief rush of exhilaration she would feel before finding the nearest container to hurl her stomach's contents into. Despite the situation declaring silk sheets of the finest quality, she found her rump parked firmly in a seat of hard wood with nary a cushion for her most graceful of posteriors to bless with its presence. Before opening her eyes, which were sure to find only the gaudiest of extravagant displays, she gave a few twitches and sniffs of her nose and found the familiar stench of pilfered perfumes carried past the docks in the most dishonorable of ways; legally.

Already, the suspicions had began to grow about where Imoen was, but she had to be sure, before they found out that she knew that they knew what she did and where she was. Reluctantly, she let her eyes flicker open by only a sliver, and found them resting against a myriad of clues. There was an open case of dyed silk, in which rested the exotic powder and brushes that were often used by the slimiest of rich-folk, along with the elegantly decorated window that stretched from-wall to wall, although the sun shone too brightly through it for her to get a proper evaluation of the situation outside. And, finally, she spotted that she was accompanied by two other women; one dressed in the garb of a torturer, with a dreaded bag of tools resting behind her feet, and the other, an officer of the law, whose gaze was quite stern indeed. "C'est la vie..." She muttered, brushing away hair from her eyes with cuffed hands as she sat up properly.

"Sleeping beauty awakens." The Officer stated, gesturing for her torturer to step aside and sit on the far comfier chair at the side of the desk, while she folded her hands together and firmly met the eyes of their captured Imoen. For a few moments, she just let the words hang in the air, waiting for some word to emerge from the prisoner's lips before she cleared her throat. "Well, then. Do you have anything to say for yourself, or do you want me to rid a list of your charges first?" She asked, dragging a length of paper from one end of the oak desk to sit in front of her, its quill idly rolling off. "Destruction of private property, pilfering, assault, breaking and entering, and improper use of fish. Do those ring any bells..." She ran her finger over the top of the sheet. "Imoen Gesenbow?"

"Captain... Captain Imoen Gesenbow." Imoen corrected, leaning over the table slightly to tilt her head at the finely-inked sheet and receiving a glare in response for it, as the Officer tugged the sheet away to stop her peeking at it. She flashed a smile back as she slipped properly back into her seat, discreetly snatching the quill and hiding it across her palm, its tip held between two fingers. Beside her, the torturer tilted her head curiously, and Imoen flashed a wink in return, slightly sliding her seat out from beneath the table to rise gently to her feet. "And I'm afraid that I don't really remember a thing. You see, when one finds oneself in need of a drowned-sorrow, one often finds them at the bottom of a bottle of rum." She dipped her finger in the cool glass of water resting on the table, then sucked on her finger as she walked to stand behind the torturer. "Savvy?"

"I...what?" The Officer replied with a look of bemusement scrawled across her poncy face, as she leaned backwards in her chair and shared a silent sentence with the torturer that Imoen didn't quite have it in herself to trust, although she did notice that the Officer had stolen her cap and gorgeous jacket, and left her dressed in only her skivvies. "What is wrong with you, and how can you not remember? You very deliberately went on a wreak of havoc through the city under my jurisdiction. Not only did you harass members of our public, you damaged the entrance to a factory, along with much of its property, and you assaulted both myself and my partner."

"Ah, sorry about that, love." Imoen said, holding up her finger as though to test the air and punctuate her point. "But now you have me at your mercy, locked in your cage and firmly bound." She held up her cuffed wrists and shook them gently, as she slid the torturer's bag of tools across the floor with her foot, to rest just besides the leg of the table. "And what is it that you're going to do, when it's not a pirate's life for me?" She asked, walking back over to her chair and pointing at the box of powders, as she shifted the legs of her chair so its back pushed against the bottom of the table, tilting ever so slightly. "May I powder my nose? I must look dreadful after being tied up for...a few hours? Days?"

"Go ahead." The Officer sighed, reaching for her quill and finding it missing before she threw her hands into the air in exasperation. Instead, for the moment, she leaned back in her chair and ran her hands through it in an attempt to restrain herself from sharing in the powder with their prisoner. And this gave Imoen just enough time to flip the box of powder towards the Officer, who let out a noise of surprise and spluttering as clumps of powder collided with her face and most went down her throat or up her nose, sending her into a massive coughing fit while she tried to reach out, grabbing whatever she could in an attempt to steady herself.

The Torturer watched with wide eyes as Imoen shot her a wink, snatching up the cap with a flick of her wrist and planting it firmly on her head, before tugging the coat off of the back of the Officer's chair and wrapping it around her shoulder. The Torturer grasped for her bag behind her, but found it missing as she sough to take action. Instead, she was greeted with a great whoosh, as Imoen's foot slammed into the seat of her own propped-up chair and sent the fine oak table flipping over against one of the elegantly decorated walls, thus providing the young woman with a ramp while gathered papers and props hurtled across and obscured the window on the opposite wall.

Imoen grinned to herself and sprinted up the makeshift ramp, leaping at the wall once she reached its top, and planting her foot firmly on a far-too-expensive portrait of a naval Commander, she kicked off of it with a great grunt and shove of her legs, reaching upwards and letting her cuffs catch the hanging light, which sent her hurtling towards the window ar a great speed. The light snapped out of its socket in the ceiling, as both of her feet collided with the window at great speed. On the other side, similary surprised by the sudden series of events, her boots collided with the chest of another Officer who had been watching the ongoing interrogation and its current chaotic state.

Back inside the room, the Officer had wiped the powder out of her eyes and was barely grasping the fact that Imoen had leaped through the window, and was now wearing her regained outfit, while the Torturer had finally found her bag of tools and had grabbed, what seemed to be to Imoen, some form of pistol. The young woman's eyes flashed wide open as she clambered off of the prone form of the second Officer she collided with, making certain to avoid the shattered glass, and ducking beneath the window to avoid any immediate shots. Still, crawling along the floor, she glanced swiftly about for the rest of the possessions that her captors had gladly confiscated, while using her stolen quill to pick the lock on her cuffs.

"Sound the alarm!" The Officer yelled, reaching besides the door and tugging on a thick rope that sent a series of small bells ringing through the halls, while the Torturer attempted to clamber her way through the shattered window and follow Imoen's retreat. Unfortunately for her, Imoen had just laid eyes on her sword; resting comfortably on a velvet pillow, just as it would have deserved, alongside her pistol. She flicked her hands onto the desk and stole away both items, sucking the latter into its sheath before wrapping the belt around herself and giving the entering Torturer a cheeky apologetic look, before dashing for the hallway as fast as her slender legs could carry her.

Imoen made to sprint down one end of the hallway corner, only to find the hurrying of stomping feet and yells coming from down its length, and twisted on her heel to make for the other end, as the window was far too high for her to jump through without a little bit of creativity first. As she came to the next corner, she spotted what seemed to be the main collection of the Officer's, as they cooled their heels and shared conversation about whatever not-so-nefarious deeds their Empire had gotten up to without a good shaking up first. And all of them were getting to their feet, drawing their blades and preparing to advance on the young woman who had just escaped from one of their holding places.

"Ah, now, you see..." Imoen began, holding up her finger, only for one swift swipe of a sword to cut off her speech and make her duck beneath the thrusting shoulder that followed. With so many Officers advancing on her, it was all she could do to sweep the Officer's feet from out beneath her and keep scrambling, ducking beneath swings and tumbling beneath tables, while making the occassional parry with her own blade and throwing the odd shiny apple at the heads of the Officer's. She was making her way towards the exist, where a grand set of doors just waited for her arrival. But, like many times, luck had seen to forbid her escape once more, as the doors were flung open by yet another group of the posh-private-pricking-privates.

With a smirk, Imoen drew her pistol and gave its trigger a squeeze. With a deafening bang, the bullet sprang from its muzzle and collided with the tapestry that hung over the door, loosening its strands just enough to let it collapse, heavy and concealing, across the soldiers gathering beneath the door. As she slammed the hilt of her blade into another Officer's jaw, Imoen spotted something that would lead to her hopeful escape, and all it would take was a little civilian injury. Weaving her way through the crowd of enraged officers, she leaped onto a chair, followed by a table, and kicked food at her pusuers with every long-step she took, until, she reached the end of the great table and made a leap.

This sent her careening over the head of the poor maid who had been caught in the hustle of the ringing alarm bells, while her feet landed firmly on the cart of food that the servant had been pushing. It immediately began to roll across the floor with her momentum, shoving into Officers and chairs alike on its path towards one of the walls. Using her foot to push off of tables, and give her cart more speed, Imoen wobbled and waved her blade in the air in an attempt to keep her balance until, finally, it collided with a particularly sturdy table and its back end flipped upwards, thus sending the pirate soaring into the air, apparently about to collide with the wall and do the Officers' job for them.

Imoen's free hand firmly grasped the ladder that stretched all the way up to the ceiling, wincing as her wrist was wrenched by the impact, but grinning as she heard the frustrated yells from the myriad of Officers beneath her. Many had already began to climb the ladder she found herself attached to, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to outrun all of them; not in that way, at least. With a firm kick against he wall, she sent the ladder careening back off into the crowd, with her at its very tip and the Officers that had been climbing trapped beneath it. Yet, at the very peak of its push, Imoen could just reach up and grab the chandelier that hung from the ceiling.

For a few moments, the panic amongst the Officers only heightened, as they scuttled around in search of their fleeing captive, but soon their eyes looked to the ceiling, and the chandelier upon which Imoen stood. She was balancing on its edge, with three frayed ropes hanging from its decorative edge and the final being sawed at with her sword. Many of them couldn't comprehend her action, while many others tried to get the ladder back up in order to follow the young woman, and others had drawn their pistols and were taking inaccurate shots at her. The chandelier was held up by eight ropes, four connecting it to each side of the room, and the last one held up only by a thread.

"M'ladies..." Imoen called out to the gathered Officers beneath her. "You will always remember this as the day you almost captured Captain Imoen Gesenbow!" With that, she swung her sword at the final strand and the chandelier began its swing. It hurtled through the air at a great speed, with Imoen clutching its framework, and its weight could be felt forcing through the air before it finally collided with the massive window. The chandelier's final four ropes snapped and it slammed into the ground outside, skidding across it with a series of sparks and, luckily, finding itself sliding through the courtyard of the Officer's den, where no civilians would lurk.

Captain Imoen Gesenbow, however, was sent careening quite a bit further than the chandelier at the apex of its swing. She flew through the air and collided quite heavily with a passing cart of melons, splattering over her while sirens began to ring in the distance...


Wattson blinked to himself as he stood outside of his Gym, and spotted as a young woman wearing an Officer Jenny cap and jacket landed in a passing cart of groceries, as the singing of Police Cars called sharply in the distance. With a furrow of his furry brow, he took pity on the poor and likely injured young woman, approaching the cart with the idea of helping out a Trainer in need.

Imoen's eyes flicked open.
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Old November 22nd, 2013 (4:08 PM). Edited November 24th, 2013 by DLMuerte.
DLMuerte DLMuerte is offline
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Seth: Encounter Mauville... and a salesman?
Boat -> Isle De Fairnorth

As Seth went through the mountain path that was Neo Route 1 [part two, obviously], he realized it was littered with red furry bodies as well as a few figures near the center of this mass. He didn't bother to even investigate; whoever did this was probably someone he didn't want to see at the moment. Both of his Pokemon were tired, and he was planning to get to a Pokemon Center as soon as possible. Of course, Seth would totally catch one of these guys right then and there, but obviously this would come with consequences, a very probable chance of waking up, a reinforcement horde [of a gang of delinquent Pikachu], or a brutal punting into the sea. None sounded quite appealing to him, so he just continued until he reached a wide, open, green plain.

And as if it just appeared and never existed before, BOOM, there's a city.

Seth assumed this was what had become of Mauville; it was around the same location that it was before anyways. But it was sprawling, and more importantly it was huge. He put Low back into his Pokeball, afraid that he would get lost, and nearly put Meloira back in hers before she smacked the capsule out of his hand and demanded that she stayed out. After which we immediately ignore that plot hole [considering that Meloira had said she would never be confined to it under his whims and held it tightly] and have Meloira holding her Pokeball fiercely once again, as Seth simply kept walking, trying to keep a positive attitude. Yes. Yes that sounds factually accurate and totally makes sense.

As Seth walked into the city, however, he began to wonder to himself. He- at that moment- was lost in his own mind, realizing one simple fact: He had no idea what he wants to do in Hoenn. He was simply told to meet this Tularosa professor. At this point, heck, he was practically confined to Hoenn, and he sighed to himself. Dad had threatened to kick him out, but he had never gone through with that threat; now he was chained to a rock, and although he liked the rock he had nothing to do with it. Maybe he could throw the rock? Suddenly, the thought of throwing Hoenn seemed very appealing to him. Especially throwing it next to Unova; he could annoy Gulliver and travel Hoenn, all at the same time! In full color! And without any regr-

Regardless of his thoughts at this moment, he bumped right into someone he didn't recognize.

This was a young man, maybe a year or two older than Seth, staring right at him [in some awesome shades too] with a Lioone standing on it's hind legs next to him. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, no, I'm sorry! I was just... um..." Seth looked away awkwardly. He didn't really have much to say.

"Preoccupied?" The Linoone guy stared him down. "Look kid, tell me. What's going on?"

"A normal person wouldn't tell that to someone they don't know." Seth grinned.

"Yet." The guy grinned at him, his brown skin gleaming slightly in the sunlight. "You'll know me soon enough, but for now you can just know my name: Miles. And b'sides, I can tell what's wrong already."

"Name's Seth- wait, what?"

The guy waved a large tree branch in the air, which was devoid of any other branches, and could actually be excused as a thin tree trunk. "You're just not used to it! You're new here, and you don't know anything about this place." Then he leaned over, his eyes now showing over his shades. "But trust me, if you need something to do, you should start by challenging the Pokemon League. If not, start filling up a Pokedex, and if you don't even want that, then visit Florence, and if not even that, just explore, man!" He grinned, then returned to his normal posture. "If you get lost, talk to random people, they'll be sure to help, alright! I'll see ya later, probably. I don't know."

"Uh, okay. Thanks. Bye." Seth felt semi-awkward as Miles walked away, breaking into a whistle.

"Oh, well, I guess I should go and check out all the other- Hey wait, where's Meloira?" He looked around quickly. "You.... you've gotta be kidding me." She wass nowhere to be found, but he suddenly saw a bit of her... err... nasal fluids on the ground. Following it, it lead him to a salesman who just so happens to be known as Fawkes Cortez, by the grace of Goomy which Meloira happens to stand... and pester for some reason. Seth scooped her up, obviously until smacked by her and she was put back down, now angrily by his side. "Sorry for that, Mister..."

"Fawkes! Fawkes Cortéz, at your service, with the best sales in town!" Suddenly, the salesman pulled out a folding table as well as a folding chair out of nowhere, sprawled the contents of a bag along his table, and siat down as if he had been there the entire time. "You shouldn't worry about that Cubchoo, honestly, it was fine." He leaned in next to Seth's ears. "I got the good stuff, too." He sat back down, showing Seth each item as he went along energetically.

"This, right here, is a Revive! 2000 Poke."

"This, ohhoho, this is a Thunderstone! You won't get a better one than this."

"Yes, I'm serious! Do you see the complexity of that design?!"

The remarks went on and on until Fawkes ended up with three different jewels. "These... these are a real treat. I can't tell you if I know what they are or not- trade secret!- but I can sell you this one for 1,000 Poke, and one of these two for 10,000 Poke. So? Huh? What do you say?"

Seth looked at each one. One contained what seemed to be a mini-Zubat, another one contained what seemed to be a mini-Goomy, and the other one was empty. Personally, he didn't like Zubat, and he liked the sound of a Goomy. But then again, the Goomy was too expensive. Seth looked at the amount of money he had: about 4,000. The only one of these strange jewel thingies he could afford was the empty one. But he felt something interesting about it. It was different. Special, even. He touched it, blew on it's surface carefully to remove the little specks of dust. All three felt that way, but this was the only one he could afford. He spoke up. "I'll take this one, Fawkes."

"Nice doing business with ya', heheh!" The energetic salesman grinned. "Would you like something else? A Pokemon trained by Cynthia herself, only 500 Poke-"

"Nah, nah, that's fine. Thanks for the business, kay?" He waved and walked away.

Cortéz sighed. "Good riddance, that thing wasn't selling anyways." He sighed again, putting everything away and folding the table and flinging it backwards. Some cats and random people can be heard yelling in the background.

Meanwhile, Seth stood at the front of the gym, tightening his hand around some random jewel and trying to make a choice... to go in... or go elsewhere. But of course, he didn't really have to make a choice. In front of him stood two of what could be said as some of the more eccentric personalities of Hoenn; Watson, who happened to be a Hoe himself, and Imoen, who he still didn't know the name of but we put it in here for your convenience. My convenience? No, the reader! Someone's reading this? O-of course not! Continue staring at them, okay? I'll just wrap it up by saying that he walked up and looked at them strangely, realizing the sound of cop cars away in the background.

"Hey, um, you," He said, referring to Imoen. "Are you fine? Need help getting up or something?" It's not like I know what to say, really.

homestuck fan club | astra story & ??? | the tatami galaxy
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Old November 30th, 2013 (6:13 AM). Edited July 3rd, 2014 by Sephear.
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Sephear Sephear is offline
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Protagon-itis: A rare condition where a person receives divine protection from the gods (and sexy narrator(s)) of a specific universe until they've done all they need to do, also see "Plot Armor" "Miraculous Survival" and "Main Character BS"

He opens his eyes, the Valkyries descend from the sky in a bright ray of light to whisk the warrior away from this mortal coil and to a land of eternal glory and feasting, he blinks one last time...and the Valkyries are gone, and instead he sees a crater and many furry orange lumps. "So...Metronome...talk about a gamble, but I guess I won more or less." He would have felt like an idiot for speaking out loud...but he was a little more stuck on the fact that he fought an entire army of Growlithe, asploded, and lived. "ROMANOV!" Jefferey Miles, our unlikely hero who has completely given up on questioning the madness that's plagued him ever since he got off that ferry on Isle de Fairnorth in the not-so-fair South shouted when he realized the situation he was in. He reached out, squeezed the ground with his right hand until he found purchase and pulled to drag himself forward a few agonizing inches before repeating the process with his left hand. After a good minute the bruised and burned young trainer peered down into the crater littered with KOed soldiers of the 10th brigade of the Holy Royal Army of Growlithe from the Ecclesiastic land of Volcanoes and chew toys.

At the epicenter of the carnage was a scorched, bear-like lump, with a similarly scorched green rock lying a few feet away, it's outstretched hand inches away from a pokeball. After a moment of groping at his belt Jeff realized the only two pokeballs still attached to it were the unused ones! Crap! If I went all the way down there there's no way I'd ever get back up again...So I need their pokeballs to-THUMP! "Ow!" Said thump was the result of a pokeball being dropped on Jeff's head and just barely caught by his hand before it rolled down the crater, after a moment he found the sticker on the front that looked like an apple with a bite out of it and looked up to see his recently-acquired Pidgey hovering in front of him. "Thanks gorgeous, ya think you could bring me Rodrigo's too? Sorry but you seem to have come out of this better than the rest of us." While she fluttered off Jeff readied the pokeball and gripped his temple with his other hand untile his vision steadied and cleared, then he pointed the sphere and muttered the age old phrase. "Romanov, return."

It didn't take long for Jeff to send another red beam to retrieve the wounded Spaniard-"I still have no idea what a Spaniard is"-Shut up I'm working here! *Ahem* He got Rodrigo back into his pokeball with an acoustic guitar sticker on it. Wait...I didn't do that, I had a sticker of a green rock for Rodrigo...where did that come from? Only when he was confident all his pokemon were safe did he take another peek into the crater and notice the pokeball Rodrigo had been near was still in there. So that isn't Rodrigo's pokeball down there? "Hey girly" He felt a slight pressure and his head and heard a soft coo, Jeff thought the Pidgey didn't like him but she definitely responded well to being called gorgeous. "I've got one last favor to ask, and then you can take a rest too, bring me that ball down there." Pidgey's of course love shiny things, so despite what a short time they had been together she followed his request quite expertly and in no time the last pokeball was in his hand. He counted the pokeballs in his belt. "One, two, three, four, five...yup this is one of mine, but I'm pretty sure I've been useless for quite some time. I wonder how it got all the way down there, none of the others rolled in this direction."

After returning the Pidgey and lying on his useless bum a few more minutes and the distinct feeling that someone could have helped him but didn't Jeff was getting real impatient, especially since he was in a world where pain said "no sleepeh sleepeh" He braced himself with what little strength his arms had and pushed, once he had a start he flexed the muscles in his back and bent his spine upwards. CRACK! "Eek!" He froze as one of his ribs protested and his entire body locked up in response, but before he could really contemplate how bad he had screwed himself in a situation already filled with murderous nonsense a foot slammed into his back. The plaything of fate fell all the way forward and jumped up to yell at his assaulter. "Hey, what's the big idea?!? You see someone wounded who's already been through a bunch of crap and you decide to kick him? I should...up...I'm standing up!"

Dr. Theodore Gooseland (Who's last name has absolutely nothing to do with the sound Duckletts make when they aren't saying their own names, shut up!) Smiled at the energetic explosion survivor in front of him and reassured who would surely soon be a patient. "Yes, yes you are, I know a thing or two about the human body." Then, just as Jeff opened his mouth to thank his savior, a fist with an unorthodox amount of raw power for a doctor made friends with his stomach and convinced all the air to whoosh out of his lungs. The boy slumped forward and the Doctor just barely managed to catch him and drape him over his shoulder before grabbing the pokeball the subject dropped when he spontaneously lost consciousness with absolutely no interference from any other living being. "There we go, now just go ahead and relax, I'm a doctor you know. Don't listen to all those newspapers that say I'm a honk...has something to do with my name but a think a Ducklett sound would suit a doctor better." Dang it, I just told everyone your name was legit you jerk!


He opens his eyes, the Valkyries descend from the sky in a bright ray of light to whisk the warrior away from this mortal coil and to a land of eternal glory and feasting, he blinks one last time...whoah Deja vu...oh that's right. The light just so happens to be fluorescent, and the Valkyries are identical nurses named happy or something, personally I think it suits a winged cat better. "Is this the one that psycho doctor brought in? Should we just put him out of his misery now?"

"Don't talk that way about Gooseland, he outranks us."

"That's ridiculous, he comes around once in a blue moon and we work here all the time, our sisters run practically the entire medical circuit."

"Well yeah but Doctors outrank nurses, that's just how it works." And so on. One nurse Joy continued to pout while the other one continued to be annoyed by her sisters pouting until a terrifying figure crept into the room behind them and the patient simultaneously sat up.

"Serial killers wearing lab coats and stethoscopes! I mean, I'm okay!"

"Yup you're just fine."

Jeff blinked once, then twice, then his smile slowly stretched into a grin of terror. "He's still here! Oh Arceus I'm not in a hospital or a center, he dragged me back into his lair to perform horrifying medical experiments on me until I've outlived my usefulness and he makes a mask out of my face to disguise himself until he acquires his next victim!"

Dr. Gooseland smiled at the deranged patient who sounded like he should be in a different kind of hospital right then. "That's quite a vivid imagination you've got there, maybe that's what attracted BROtad's attention in the first place."

"How...How do you know about BROtad?" The doctor merely smiled and began to roll the gurney Jeff had been strapped too towards the exit, completely ignoring the protests of the pink-haired pokemon nurses. "Hey! Where are you taking me? I have rights! I'm fine, you just need to let me out! I've got a pokemon league to win! And I've got friends at least I think they're my friends to find! I demand you unstrap me from this torture device and-"THUMP! Yes i used thump as a sound effect again, get over it.


Wow, this chapter sure is filled with unconscious Jeffs isn't it? I'd be worried about what might have been done to him while he was unconscious accept all the fangirls who've been following his ships have probably shriveled up and died by now so there's nothing to worry about there. Where was I? Oh yeah, Jeff opened his eyes AGAIN. He was still strapped to the gurney and Dr. Gooseland was wheeling him down the street, somewhere in the distance he heard Jenny sirens, I mean what's even the point of calling them police sirens when all the police have the same name and bodacious bods?

"So uhh...where're we going?"

"The gym."


"Why do trainers usually go to a pokemon gym?"

"To get a badge."

"Ding ding."

"Okay smartass, why are YOU wheeling ME there?"

"Because I know your type. You've only recently met those other kids, and at least one of them is an air head who easily gets lost on shenanigans so you're worried they'll forget about you and leave you behind. And you're really impatient to get at least one badge and validate your state as a trainer, especially since you just achieved a great victory even if it was a fluke so if I tried to just treat you I'd have to waste a bunch of resources keeping you sedated since you'd be so intent on escaping. And if you did you'd just make everything worse anyways and I'd have to drag you back again."


"No snappy comeback?"

"Shut up I'm tired."

Fawkes Cortez the wondrous merchant couldn't help notice a muscular man in a labcoat wheeling a gurney down the street, but what really caught his eyes were the pokeballs strapped to the belt of the victim patient. Trainers always have money! Even though it's not a real job...hmm... Once his target was acquired he wasted no time at all in moving up to start his schtick. "Well hello dear friend! Since you won't be going anywhere I'm sure you will actually stay long enough to appreciate how great the deals I bring you are! Unlike some of those other morons, at least that one kid knew a good deal when he saw one. Well well, you're in luck, here I have many rare and heavily underpriced healing items, even revives for only 2.500 poke!"

"I don't have much money, I have a Munchlax to feed and all those healing items aren't all that useful one at a time."

"A Munchlax you say? Is there any chance that the rascal in question finds bits of food like berries quite often and munches on them?"

"Yeah, he sure does."

"Well food can heal pokemon, I have quite the deal for you. In my many epic journeys I have taken possession of quite a few precious items that aren't normally for sale, but I have one here that I've been told has a special tie to pokemon of the Lax family. The merchant dug around in a bag that was a bit smaller and more ornate than the rest he lugged with him until he pulled out an apple. "This, my friend is-"

"It's an Apple..."

"Ah, but it is no ordinary apple!" Fawkes flourished his arm for the sake of showmanship and took a bite out of the apple.

"Well no I certainly don't want-" Jeff stopped his foolish sentence dead when he saw the empty space where Fawkes' jaws had snapped up apple once again fill with juicy red goodness. "Uh...I...you...what?!?"

"I hear tell that this rare object is called a Leftovers, because it has already been snacked on, but never quite gets finished. One day that Munchlax of yours is going to evolve, and when it does it will want to munch on more food than a wealthy man could afford every time you bring it out. For someone who's already low on money that could be the nail in the coffin, especially if one of your most powerful pokemon can't even concentrate enough to battle, but with this beauty it would always have something to chew on!"

Jeff's mouth stood agape the whole time signor Cortez was speaking, and it showed no signs of loosening until the good doctor thunked his patient on the head. "That's amazing! I will take it, no price is too high for-"

"Only 10,000 Poke my friend!"

"...except that...that's more than I even have on me right now."

Fawkes smirked, of course money was what drove him, he was a merchant after all. But he had seen a lot of amazing things throughout his life, and he had realized certain things were meant to be used by whoever could get the most out of them. Besides all that, as anybody can tell you nearly every wild Snorlax has a Leftovers already, and what with how reluctant hey are to get up and well...do anything most of the time...not many Munchlaxes are around either, the odds were it would be a long time before he found anyone else who'd get good use out of the strange apple. Most people don't want something that a bunch of other creatures have already been chewing on, but luckily Laxes don't really care. "I tell you what boy, if you are a trainer I assume you plan on battling the gym at some point right? If you beat Wattson before I leave town and find me you can have the Leftovers for only 4,000 Poke, even if you don't have that much I'm confident the old man'd give you more than that as prize money.

The immobilized blockhead trainer nodded vigorously. "Yeah, definitely, that sounds like a good deal if I ever heard one, I'm sold!"

"Especially since we're heading to the gym right now." The doctor chimed in.

"Oh, are you? Maybe I'll tag along and watch the battle for myself, but until then I have more wares to show you." And so the merchant did as merchants do and charismatically peddled his merchandise to a poor sap valuable customer. If you've payed any attention at all you already know both of the strange stones are way out of Jeff's price range, but something tugged at his brain when he was shown the elemental stones.

Before he could remember why the stones were relevant one of the pokeballs on his belt burst open to reveal a Growlithe. It did something like a bow and barked. "Grrr-ow! Ow!" General I have no choice but to give you my loyalty, you have defeated me pseudo-honorably and so my life is yours. You showed you cared about the lives of those under your command with that tactical withdrawal, even if it was the life of that filthy philanderer you were saving.

"What is that?" Jeff asked no one in particular.

"You're Growlithe." Dr. Gooseland answered.

"My Growlithe? But I didn't throw any Pokeballs...I was pretty much exactly as you found me the whole time after the battle."

"Yes indeed? You really are quite the strange case...Maybe I should have experimented on you after all.


"I said I checked the storage in the PCs, this Growlithe is registered in the database as caught by you, I even scanned your Trainer Card to make sure."

"Huh...Maybe that pokeball rolled down the crater and the button bumped right into him while he was KOed...Oh yeah, Growlithe don't evolve naturally as far as we know, they only evolve from Fire Stones. I'll take one Mr. Cortez, but uhh...I can't really reach my wallet but-hey!"

"Here you are my good man." The not-so-good doctor said to Fawkes as he handed him the proper amount from the boy's wallet.

"What the hell are you doing with my wallet!"

"I said I scanned your trainer card didn't I?"

"So you took my whole wallet?"

"Simple logic."

The merchant took the Fire Stone he had been showing off so proudly and dropped it into the Items pocket of Jeff's backpack...because every bag is that specific I guess. Pleased that he made at least one solid purchase to the strange kid, Fawkes decided to show Jeff his last item. "And now for the most spectacular (And well-priced) item of my entire repertoire. I have here, especially for a trainer so great as you may one day be. A Magikarp! Trained by the champion of Sinnoh Cynthia herself! Only 500 Poke!"

Jeff sighed in deep disappointment, and completely meant the next words he said. "That sounds like a great deal...especially considering how awesome Gyrados are...but I just caught another pokemon and I prefer to earn my pokemon in battle...plus I'm afraid a girl I know would challenge me to a duel if she knew I had a Magikarp too.

"Well I'm saddened to hear that." Fawkes replied. "But there is good news too, I learned the layout of this city very quickly." No way, this city is set up so ridiculous and convoluted for no reason...there's no way. "And we are very close to the gym, I look forward to-" Fawkes stopped, and so too did the Doctor since he had begun to follow Fawkes without mentioning his own sense of direction was so terrible they'd be lost in no time if he hadn't. And the merchant shivered before stepping past Jeff. "I regret to inform you that I must take my leave now, I can feel there will be more trainers with deep pockets and need of items around soon. The life of a Merchant is a busy one, but no fear, just look for me if you get the badge." And just like that he was gone.

The Trainer-victim-patient lifted his head to look in front of them and indeed saw the Gym, and it even looked like Wattson was out front, ready for challengers. But he wasn't alone, two people were talking to him, and when Jeff saw who one of them was he stopped the doctor and asked him to help him find something specific. Minutes later Doctor Theodore Gooseland wheeled the gurney to the front of the Gym. "Hello Wattson, it's been a while, got a challenger here for you."

"Hey Imoen." Jeff called out lightly since the jerk-doctor had left him a few extra feet away from the door. He held something out as far as he could in the gurney so she would see it, it was a delicious waffle cone with vanilla ice cream on it. "I'm sorry about not going with you earlier, I was concerned about my pokemon and lost track. Plus...I hurt too much for Ice Cream right now, and considering how this trip has gone so far for me at least, I thought any number of things might go wrong and stop you from getting any. Is the Gym open?"
Sometimes all you need in life are the simple pleasures.

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Old November 30th, 2013 (1:24 PM).
Dansparce's Avatar
Dansparce Dansparce is offline
The Unbeatable
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Dark Cave
Gender: Male
Posts: 457
Vincent groaned as a pitiful stream of salt-water fired out of his gaping maw. It was nice for him to finally be back in the water, after spending what felt like years (2-3 hours at most) in that wretched girl’s Pokéball. He flapped his tail happily against the surface, creating a few gentle waves as a declaration of his love towards the silent Chinchou, Chell. Chell was hell-bent on confusing the Rattata, who had managed to dodge every attack they had fired at them. She fired smaller, faster supersonics in-between each larger one, but the Rattata managed to evade them all.

The rats were very quickly approaching their stream of water, bolting directly through Mia’s legs. “RATTATA, ANNIHILATE THOSE FISH WITH BITE!” The terrible twins shouted, demanding a blood sacrifice to their one and only god, Youngster Joey. Mia nearly questioned whether or not the two children were mentally stable, but was interrupted by the loud, squealing cry of a Feebas. The two Rattata had leapt onto Vincent’s back and dug their large, razor-sharp teeth into it. He started flailing uncontrollably, smashing his body against anything he could find while weeping tiny fish tears. “Uh... Chell, try using bubble to blast them off of Vincent’s back.” Mia nervously commanded, immediately scanning her Pokédex for any ideas.

Small rounds of bubbles were slowly fired towards the still flailing Vincent. They popped violently into splashes of water all around the Feebas, too frightened to think straight. He could very well die at this point in time, without a single pond to his name. His many, many fangirls would discover a new idol, and he’d be forgotten faster than he was born. Vincent started to mourn for his oncoming death, being bombarded by strikes of pain and despair. Chell continued her stream of bubbles, barely affecting the twin rats, which were seemingly enjoying this fish-rodeo. “IT’S NO USE, GIVE UP WHILE YOU STILL CAN.” The Joeys taunted, hoping to incite fear and panic into their opponent.

“Vincent’s practically useless right now... And Chell isn’t doing to well either,” Mia thought, trying to formulate a bunch of idiotic plans to get Vincent out of this situation. “Uhh... Vincent, just use tackle against a wall or something and hang in there. Chell, keep trying to knock the Rattata off.” Vincent immediately followed his trainer’s command, not wanting to bear through the pain for any longer. His head smashed against the tile walls repeatedly, as if it were a wrecking ball. Chell darted after him, keeping a steady stream of bubbles on the Rattata.

Mia’s eyes flicked through every digital page on her Pokédex she could find, starting off with Chell’s moves. She didn’t exactly have anything besides bubble and supersonic, and Vincent was too close to the Rattata to safely use the latter. Mia then checked through Vincent’s page, finding a peculiar move. Magic Coat. It sounded very familiar to Mia; isn’t it the special counterpart to counter? (Short answer: No). Before being able to check the move out fully, she heard the wail of everyone’s favourite Feebas again, prompting her to shout out the first command that came to mind. “Vincent, use Magic Coat when I tell you to, Chell, target Vincent with Bubble.” The Joey twins shared a slight look of confusion, before going straight back into character. They stared menacingly, shouting in response “RATTATA, BITE EVEN HARDER!”

Another wail of pain emitted from Vincent’s mouth, thanks to the razor-sharp teeth of the Rattata. He stopped moving, and, for the first time ever, he put complete and total faith in his trainer. Without hesitation, Chell blew another stream of bubbles in Vincent’s general direction. They quickly closed in on him, approaching 5ft away in a matter of seconds. 4ft... 3ft... 2ft... 1ft... “NOW!” Mia shouted, alerting the weakened Vincent to perform his move. A bright light shrouded him as the bubbles powerfully popped, smashing against Vincent’s shiny shield.

Unfortunately, Mia had confused Magic Coat with Mirror Coat, forcing Vincent to take the full brunt of Chell’s bubble. His health had dropped down to next to nothing, and the two Rattata were going to completely deplete him of the rest in a matter of seconds. Since his trainer was too incompetent to give him any commands, Vincent had to take this issue into his own hands. He launched a ring of tiny, pink hearts in every direction, first hitting the two Rattata attached to his back, and then striking Chell while she was waiting for new orders.

A pair of teeth gently removed themselves from Vincent’s back, allowing the fish to have a little more time on this planet. The rat immediately turned on its sibling, chomping onto the other Rattata’s tail without any hesitation. It squealed loudly, loosening its grip on the fish until it was forced to let go. They both tumbled into the water with a splash, finally freeing Vincent of the two. “Joey, GET A HOLD OF YOUR STUPID RAT!” Joette shouted, causing her brother to quiver out of fear. The two rats started scrambling to stay above the water’s surface, but something caused them to sink.

Two bright lights encompassed the Rattata’s vision as they quickly were forced onto the bottom of the pool. Whatever had dragged them down clearly didn’t seem very happy, as it fired bubble after bubble at their faces. They started to squirm uncontrollably, but it only made Chell’s grip even tighter. However, she noticed an amazingly majestic fish floating above her and immediately found herself swimming up towards him. Then she went back down. And back up. Her mind wrestled over what she should do. Admire the super smexy fish? Or risk missing his fleeting beauty to finish off the two Rattata?

After much inner deliberation, Chell decided that completing her mission would impress the fish. She went back to the bottom of the not very deep pool and waited for the rats to faint. Meanwhile, Mia and the Joey-twins had their heads perched above the small pool, watching the small anglerfish drown the rats. “God damnit Theo, we’re going to lose this battle and it’s all your fault!” The female Joey scapegoated, revealing the shocking truth that they weren’t actually Youngster Joeys. “Nuh-uh,” Theo defended, “If you weren’t dressed like a guy, none of this would’ve happened!” The two started bickering non-stop, completely ignoring the battle that was taking place.

A stream of bubbles blasted two purple bubbles out of the water, landing directly in front of the two youngsters. They were knocked out, winning Mia RéBURST’s first battle! “Yes. I won, I Won!” Mia shouted, bouncing up and down like a child.
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Old December 13th, 2013 (5:40 AM).
Lilizuki Lilizuki is offline
The Wise Lesbian
Join Date: Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 897
The first thing Imoen saw upon opening her weary eyes was her target. The man whom she had hunted down for so long, who had betrayed her so many years ago, was standing within her grasp, and all it would take was a few simple movements to approach the bastard and get revenge. Her blood boiled and roiled within her veins, sparking hot as she tumbled out of the cart and onto her knees. She wasn't thinking of any elaborate plan, machinations, or even a complicated fighting style to take down the chubby mustachioed freak that dared to dress in yellow cargo pants, stuffing his fat mouth with donuts and fast food while laughing. Not even apathetically, not the kind of man who ignored the suffering of others. No, he was something far worse than those who stood by the weak, the tortured, and did nothing. He was a sadist, and everything from his mohawk to his little jacket announced it to the world.

"WATTSON!" Imoen roared, flinging back her hair so it cascaded behind her as she leaped to her feet, yanking free the Magikarp attached to her waist and hoisting it over her shoulder. As she screamed bloody vengeance, the creature shot forth a massive blast of water that sent the fat freak tumbling up the steps to his domain, where all of his lackeys would surely be waiting. And she would let them come, for they all would suffer a defeat similar to that of their master. And with every body that hit the floor, Wattson would know that it was by her hand that his empire was falling. But he couldn't blame it on her. His hand had forced hers, and she was nothing but the karmic retribution that the world had seen fit to bring upon his head. She wasn't a soldier, or a child, or even a human any more. She was a force of nature.

As the fat man rolled around, the coppas who had already been arriving on the scene with swift feet redoubled their pace upon seeing their leader attacked, and that was all it took for Imoen to know that they were corrupt; paid off or their families threatened unless they followed the whims of the Horror in Yellow Pants. It stung her a bit to know that she might have been hurting innocent people, sufferers just as much as her, but she had not came so far just to fall victim to a few blue-hairs. She shot a glance at her plucky comic relief sidekick, Jeff, and yanked the ice cream out of his hands. Taking careful aim, and hefting her fish over her other shoulder, she tossed the ice cream towards the feet of one approaching Officer, who promptly slipped and came tumbling forwards to an end that would surely result in scuffed knees.

Yet more came. Atop the stairs of the gym, Wattson was getting to his feet and chuckling with every moment of Imoen's attempts to hold back the tide of corrupt officers arriving on the scene. Pushing past the debris and their fellows, they had soon tackled Imoen to the ground and dragged her to her feet, although their attempts at dragging her away where stymied by the Magikarp that she swung wildly at their heads whenever her arms would be bound. "NO!" The young woman screeched, kicking an Officer in the gut and pushing backwards to shove both herself and the gaggle of Jennies into the cart she'd arrived in, sending them into a fall. "I WILL NOT FAIL WHILE MY PEOPLE CONTINUE TO BE PERSECUTED, WATTSON! SO LONG AS I DRAW BREATH, YOU WILL FEEL THE BLADE OF IMOEN BLOODHUNT RESTING ABOVE YOUR HEAD!" She could not help but screech, yanking herself free of the nearest Officer's grasp in order to stand on her own two feet and glare at Wattson. Their eyes locked across the battlefield.

"Your people?" The Officer who had been kicked in the stomach asked weakly. "...gingers?"

"SHUT YO' MOUTH, FOO'!" Imoen brashly announce, slapping the Officer cleana cross the cheek and spitting on her cheek. "ONLY A GINGER CAN CALL ANOTHER GINGER GINGER!"

"Officers, Officers..." Wattson bellowed from before his gym, his voice ripe with mirth. "Ahahaha, a ha, hooo hoo, oh hooo, aheh, hihihihihi, ah ho, oh ho ho, AHAHAHAHA! Hehe, huh huh huh huh, ah hoo hoo, ha, pfhahahaHA! Ah...hihihi, ho ho ho, haha...ha...ho...ho ho ho, hahahahaha!" He pointed a chubby finger down at Imoen, re-meeting her gaze and giving her the broadest smile anybody could possibly manage without plastic surgery or an unfortunate incident with a knife. "You amuse me, my child! So, let's make a deal, shall we? If you can manage to get through two," He held up two fingers as though anyone present would need that guidance in learning how to count. "Of my trainers, then you will be able to challenge me for your gym badge! And the clearance of all charges against you by the city. I will pay for all costs myself." He chuckled, stuffing his hand down his jacket and tossing a few coins into the air as a demonstration of his affluence. "What say you, Imoen? Hahahahaha..."

"YOU GONNA GO DOWN, SUCKA!" Imoen yelled, as she had been since she first came to consciousness from her cart, as she sheathed Ni and instead drew what would be her blade. From her hip came Flunschlick, the blade of a few hours ago, whose skin shimmered with a slick layer of mud and whose blankness of gaze could almost match that of its wielder. "JUST LIKE YO MOMMA!" She twisting her stolen police officer's cap backwards and began to sprint towards both Wattson and his gym. Wisely, and chuckling as he went, the big-bellied villain ran into his domain and out of her sight, so she could face her opponents properly without going for him first. She would need to work for her victory, and all it would take was destroying some criminal followers. She'd beaten trash like it so many times before that it almost felt too easy.

At last, Imoen disappeared from the sight of those in the street, and the recovering squad of Officers, in order to get her well-deserved vengeance. She stepped across the threshold with a tangible tingling in her teeth to warn her of what vicious mobsters and internet pirates Wattson had managed to recruit this time, and what dirty tricks they might pull in order to try their damnedest to defeat her. She would let them try, then beat them down just like all of the forebears before them! The first room she encountered, which had a door that she kicked open, contained within it many artificial flowers, all lit by little bulbs inlaid within their metals, with stalks made from some kind of fibrous wire to disguise their nature as constructions of Wattson's Pokemon Labor Camp, but Imoen knew only too well his tricks. Amongst the flowers and perfumes, there stood a boy dressed in girl's clothing.

"Oh, oh my, hello..." The boy-girl greeted in a voice softer than most males, but quite obviously faked and hardly falling anyone. "M-My name is Chris Merrytush, and I'm a girl..." He introduced himself, his skinny fingers picking out a small Pokeball from his miniskirt as he ran his other hand through his long hair. "But I am still going to beat you, I think...I don't want to hurt you too much." He gasped, as a tiny little Emolga emerged from the device in a flash of red light. "Oh, the pains of being such a delicate flower of a girl, so waif-like and thin, but also very pretty! And the shame, oh the bullies, picking on me for liking pretty things and wearing girls' clothes! I am so sad, but so flattered, because so many boys want my affections, but do not know my shameful secret of having a weiner sausage instead of what they expect!" He cooed, his gestures small, but melodramatic.

"...WHAT?!" Imoen questioned as flatly as was possible in her current accent, as she tucked Flun's tail beneath one of her arms and held its form with both of her hands, ignoring the stickiness as she charged forward in time with the flying creature. The little flying mouse was swift as it bore down upon the wielder of the groundfish, bopping down beneath her arm before dashing upwards in a loop, its claws dragging across her freckled cheek in a painful motion that caused six thick lines of blood to start seeping down her left cheek. The young woman cried out in pain, but continued her charge, for she would not be defeated so easily by the creature while it attempted to defeat her in the field of battle, where she was born! She had been shaped by it, created by it, and it was her life; no creature or its oddly acting trainer could defeat her while she was so focused. Much less when her lifelong rival rested just beyond, waiting for his crushing defeat!

"'Tis me, Chris, the boy who is prettier than most girls, somehow, or at least perceived like that! Because feminine facial features are found in not just women, and are in fact fare more potent when on a male biology, which is just why they're feminine! Because they're so common on males!" The flowery young...person continued. "Or the fact that my colorful panties contain a wiener is what makes me so beautiful, despite inferior looks to actual girls! I know not what cruel ways this world works in, but I am pretty! So pretty! Probably because of some kind of fetish! Pretty!" Unfortunately for the Emolga, it hadn't planned its path of flight quite well enough, as it returned to the spot it had been in before the raging Imoen had began her charge. The stone-headed Flun collided with its fral torso, sending it scattering backwards and subject to slamming into the wall just behind it. Only by flapping its wings did it manage to negate some of the damage from the assault of human and fish combined.

"...WHAT?!" Imoen could not help but repeat in sheer confusion about the messed up kind of people that Wattson was recruiting for his organization of evil, and could see only the depravity of Chris' master in the way he moved and acted. Perhaps the electrical equipment had been used to torture him into the madness, but there was no time to ponder while battle was afoot and blood continued to pour from her wound in thin droplets that marred her top. Perhaps luckily for her, the rodent did not see fit to slice up her tender flesh again. It flew high out of her reach before darting back down towards her, spinning around at the last moment, all too quickly to dodge, and slammed its steel of steel against her forehead. The momentum sent it tumbling to the ground after her, but she had been staggered for the moment, Flun slipping from her grasp and falling onto the floor as she tried to rub her forehead and remove the ringing sensation that busted through her eardrums.

"But aren't my clothes so pretty and pure and feminine, but I cannot wear low tops! Because I have no cleavage to speak of, for I am a flat chested and very pretty boy!" Chris yet continued, ignorant as Imoen stumbled backwards and grabbed the Emolga out of the air in her strong hand. "If only more could see my woe, and sympathize with me! If only a big strong man could come along to save me fro the potent barbs of others, and the girls with cleavage that I cannot possess, and the embarrassment for enjoying lady clothes so much! I could be carried in his arms like a princess, wearing the prettiest of clothes and being far more beautiful than all of the other girls, somehow, but they would be jealous and all of their boyfriends would come to me, the most prettiest of all things ever, by virtue of my having a weiner or not, but I can't be sure! Where is my knight to come save my delicate hine-" The trainer was muffled as his Emolga was shoved into his mouth, the sparks knocking him into unconsciousness.

"STOP TALKING!" Imoen ordered the unconscious fellow. Once she was comfortable with the amount of words coming out of his mouth, she walked back to the center of the room and knelt down to pick up Flun. Yet, as she did, a curious tone emerged from the device attached to her waist; much like the noise of the dreaded Paralyfisk, the most horrific Stunfisk of all! Flun could not help but leap up in horror, its tail smacking Imoen in the face, whose bleeding she had since stopped by wiping it on her shirt. Once again, the young woman was forced backwards in a daze. But, this time, there was a curious giggling coming from her PokeDex, which had remained surprisingly quiet for quite some time. She fumbled around briefly, eyes flicking to and fro as she regained her Pokemon and advanced towards the next room. Her eyes glowed gently yellow for a moment before a suave smirk came to her lips and she crossed into the next room, decorated with a few posters, a couch, and a few entertainment goodies.

Inside the room rested a young woman, fairly attractive by most standards, with black hair tucked behind her ears and fashionable clothing adorning her body. As she noticed Imoen enter the room, she held up her finger and finished reading the page of her comic book before putting it down and putting a pair of glasses over her eyes. She pocked one of the nearby Pokeballs and smiled a warm smile about the newly emerging challenger, although she looked with some concern over the injuries that the trainer had apparently taken to her head and face. "Hello! My name is Leona, and it's a pleasure to meet you. What say you to getting this battle started as quickly as possible, hmm?" She tossed her Pokeball in the air and caught it in her palm again. "I bet you can show me a few neat tricks, and, if we do this right, I can show you a few of mine too. So let's go." She pushed her Pokeball forward, a shapeless mass of red light appearing before her in the small arena that made up most of the room.

"I'm Pokede...Imoen." Imoen greeted in response, giving Leona a low bow and smiling charmingly in her direction as she readied Flun in her hands, gripping it tightly. "But you can call me 'Oh God~'." She winked, almost ignoring the presence of the Pokemon that had formed opposite her. It seemed to be a particularly bulky pink Flaaffy, whose white wool had a few strikes through it to indicate its achievements and whose flesh practically rippled with muscles that were prepared to take down anyone who would dare oppose it. Yet, despite its intimidating stature, its eyes were soft and gentle, and a little smile adorned its adorable face. "So, Leona, tell me...when did you decide to stop being a model and become a trainer?" She asked, stepping into the arena proper, but keeping her gaze settled on the trainer instead of the potent combatant that she faced. She had been given plenty of time to prepare, but it wasn't enough, as her reactions didn't quite have time to react as an arc of electricity shot at her.

"I...never was a model." Leona replied, tilting her head at the fish clutched in Imoen's hands and drawing up her Pokedex in order to examine it. "Ah..." She began reading, as Imoen easily flicked away the electricity through the lightning rod that was Flun, striding across the arena with a confident swagger and practically slapping the Flaaffy across its face. The mark left was a small, but sore, and only seemed to serve to anger the wool Pokemon. "Sorry, I wasn't familiar with your Pokemon! I don't get out that much, really...but it's a ground-type, so you're mostly immune to the things that this gym will throw at you. Good planning!" She encouraged her opponent, positively grinning as she tucked away her little device and brought her fist up in the air. "But I won't make that mistake again! You're going to go down, Imoen, I promise you!" With that enthusiastic declaration of predetermined victory, she stomped her foot on the ground and glanced at her Flaaffy. "Stone Cold, take 'er down!"

"Oh, believe me, I wi-" Imoen's attempt at a sleazy remark was cut very short by the charging ball of muscle and pink that was Stone Cold, whose skull collided with her stomach and caused her to double over, practically pinned against the Pokemon's shoulder by momentum and groaning before the attack had even finished. It only ended when her back slammed into one of the walls, knocking a metal plating loose as she slowly slid down to the ground. With a hazy vision, she watched Stone Cold return to the center of the arena and slam its muscular front hood down on the ground in preparation for another take down. "Oh, so you li-" She coughed and spluttered. "Like playing rough, huh?" It was the only taunt she managed to get off as she struggled back to her feet, using the wall as support and squeezing Flun hard. A burst of mud emerged from the fish, leaving a trail of splattered blood in its wake as it collided with Stone Cold's face and covered it with dirt. It didn't like that.

It growled loudly to announce its soon-to-be destruction of the pale trainer. Then, it sprinted towards her on rapid hooves and with a scowling skull, bowed down and intending to punch a bruise in Imoen's stomach bigger than the woman herself. With wide eyes, she looked on, her legs to weak to leap out of the way. It was all she could do to clutch Flun to her stomach and hope that it would protect her from some of the blow's brute force. It did, to an extent. Stone Cold slammed its fluffy head into Flun and Imoen, winding her, but it wasn't finished quite yet. It noticed the metal plate that had slipped loose from the wall and had made certain that its charge would hit it just so, with Imoen's point of impact being near its top. This made the metal plate flip out of the wall, bottom-first, and send Imoen flying a few feet through the air in a tumble to land behind Stone Cold, slightly more injured for her trouble. At least she still had her hat on.

Another shot of mud across the creature's back. It was more effective than trying to hit it, as Imoen could tell by its flinching when the mud splattered across it and dampened the electricity that infused the creature. But she couldn't keep taking hits the way she had so far, or she'd be defeated, and that would not have been very impressive for her new lover to see at all. The answer was simple, then; she would have to use her surroundings and the people around to her advantage. With her smirk returning, she crawled a little as Stone Cold turned around and predictably slammed into her. The young woman was sent tumbling across the arena, in the direction of Leona and landing right in front of the girl's feet. Gasping to refill her lungs with air, Imoen rushed back to her feet; woozy, bruised, and beaten, but not yet defeated. Now was simply the time to enact her plan.

Imoen dropped Flun and grabbed Leona's hips, pulling her close and sliding one hand up to her hair, before bending her over much like an elegant dancer and supporting her by the small of her back. "Let us kiss with tongues!" She whispered in some mockery of seductiveness, leaning down to close her lips with Leona's and doing exactly that for a few moments, while a deep blush covered the cheeks of the latter young woman. Romantic music played from Imoen's Pokedex as the kiss commenced, while Stone Cold stood by without any orders to take and looked on awkwardly, wondering whether it should intervene. Unfortunately for the battle-hardened Flaaffy, Imoen's deep breath had served a purpose; she kept kissing Leona until the gym trainer got woozy from lack of breath and then placed her on the nearby couch. "Call me." Imoen winked, as Leona was too weak to respond or give orders to her Pokemon.

It was a different kind of victory, but one that Imoen could accept nevertheless. It was simply a matter of how she would face Wattson, who was definitely not a sexy lady, in the next room while she was so weakened from the two battles. Then, she laid eyes upon the hole in the walls where a metal plate had been knocked loose, and the wires that rested in it. Then, she got an idea! Ground types were resistant to electricity, which would be bad, which meant that negating the bad parts of electricity by using Flun as a conduit would mean that she only got the good electricity. Which would then heal her wounds! She knew her stuff, for she had spent most of her existence as a Pokedex, and electricity had only ever done good things to keep her energized and in good condition. Imoen shambled over to the wires, Flun held firmly in her hands and yanked a handful of them out, leaving sparks in the wake of her destruction. Then, she jammed Flun into the wires...

...and the electricity worked its way across both Flun and Imoen, healing her wounds, Flun's, and even Ni's. That was handy. Unfortunately, it made the Pokedex's control over Imoen's body misalign for just long enough for Imoen to regain control of herself. Unfortunately for her, even herself wasn't herself at that moment, and wouldn't be until she got a good long rest. Instead, she cleared her throat and made sure to tuck her top into her jeans. After brushing down her hair slightly to make sure everything was in prim and proper condition, as well as cleaning her face in a nearby sink, she approached the door to the next room, which was clearly marked as Wattson's, and held Flun straight in her hands, its head pointing down at the floor and her posture perfect as she elegantly opened the door and stepped inside the grand room that would serve as an arena. "Tally ho!" She announced, loudly, but not yelling, because that was rude in polite company. As she entered the next room, the door slammed behind her and many gears twisted to take Leona away to the recuperation area of the gym. The next person through would have to face a different of Wattson's trainers.

Imoen was greeted with a loud chuckle from Wattson, who sat in his chair with a Manectric sitting by his side. "Ho ho ho! Welcome, ahaha, Imoen! I suppose you will want to get right to it, well I say, let's!" He grinned widely as he pointed a finger at Imoen and got to his feet. "Fire Fang, Poppins!" He commanded his electro-dog, which reluctantly got up from its pleasant nap and began to sprint at the intruder of its master's domain. It danced across the electric tiles that took up much of the room, ignoring the sparks that leaped through its fur and feeling practically empowered by them, helping to fuel its charge. Its prey was curious, for this battle, at least, for she made no attempt at dodging or even seeming to prepare for an attack at it. Nevertheless, Poppins continued its sprint with fire burning around its lips. It leaped at Imoen with a low growl, a small burst of fire leaping out of its mouth before it sunk its teeth into Imoen's shoulder, biting deep and burning the flesh.

"I say." Imoen winced slightly, trying not to let the pain influence her calm demeanor. "What a ruffian we have in our midst, wouldn't you agree, Ser Flunschlick? What say you to giving this boisterous lout a good one-two?" She asked her good companion, which didn't give a response, as ever, which made a well-humored laugh escape Imoen's lips to push away the pain of the Manectric still clinging to her shoulder. "Too right! Now, then..." Adjusting Flun so that its mouth was just below Manectric, she gave its hide a little flick and allowed a small burst of mud to emerge from Flun's lips, which splattered across the Manectic's maw and made it splutter and whine, quickly releasing Imoen's shoulder in favor of shuffling away in order to regain its senses for another attack. It locked eyes with its foe once again, as she returned her weapon to its duelist's stance and waited patiently for when the discharge pokemon would strike. Poppins circled her for a few moments, prodding at her defenses, before an order came.

"Tackle, Poppins! Ahahahaha, hee hee!" Wattson commanded, and Poppins did just so. With its lightning speed, it shot across the ground and seemingly pierced Imoen's defenses, as it reached past her extended Flunschlick and was about to collide into her with its pointed head. Unfortunately for Poppins, this had all been a part of the gentlelady's plan, as she sidestepped its collision and made it go sailing past her, unable to account for the gained momentum and stumbling across the ground. This is the moment that Imoen chose to strike, turning classily on her heel and bringing Flunschlick down upon Poppins' head in one, clean strike, which knocked the Pokemon out cold with naught but a whimper. She returned to her stance and turned around to meet Wattson's eyes again, confident, but not overtly so. She didn't want to seem a braggart, after all. "Oh ho ho ho! A wonderful and exotic fighting style there, Imoen! Let us see how you fare against a classic, holohiholohiholohi!"

Imoen raised an eyebrow, just the right amount to express curiosity as a yellow rodent appeared from out of Wattson's next Pokeball. "Oh, a rodent! How unsavory!" She declared, trailing Flun's tail through the air in an attempt to goad the Pikachu into attacking her. Suffice to say, the energetic and angry little Pokemon took the opportunity to utterly destroy the person who had dared to insult it! There was no possible way she couldn't have known just who it was, given it appeared on everything ever, so it could only have been an insult intended to harm his pride and his status! She was to pay for it dearly, or so the Pikachu thought, as it hopped into the air without yet being given an order by its master. Electricity crackled around its cheeks and its tail, practically fizzling the air around it with potent electricity before it let out a cry of its name. A brillaint white bolt of lightning shot across the trapped arena!

The bolt simply ran through Flun's body harmlessly, being used as a conduit for Imoen, who promptly squeezed her weapon and shot a neat ball of mud at the Pikachu, painting its face with dirt and leaving it looking rather silly for having used all of its energy for a grand attack, only for it to be completely no-sell'd. That wasn't going to be good for his reputation at all. Feeling slightly silly for his outburst, and shooting an apologetic look at his master, he was given a silent nod as encouragement to continue the fight by its own decisions. And he knew exactly what it would do to the noblewoman who had so easily taunted and taken advantage of his pride. He darted across the field of traps, much like the Manectric had, and went for a similar strike; this time, aimed for the already weakened shoulder of his opponent.

The attack was too quick for Imoen to counter or dodge out of the way of, as the Pikachu scratched all across her shoulder and bounced off of the joint just as quickly, hurrying back to its field of electricity traps. Rushing with the urge to take down her foe before it got away and repeated the attack, Imoen held Flun firmly in her left arm alone and loosely aimed it at the evasive Pikachu. This time, the ball of mud was somewhat larger and not as refined, but its increased girth meant it slammed into the back of the mouse with full force. It sent Pikachu off balance, stumbling forwards as the ground knocked it into unconsciousness and sent it rolling to a pause at Wattson's feet. Clapping, Wattson got to his feet and fingered the Pokeballs wrapped around his belt, pondering just which one he could use to help challenge his opponent, especially while her arm was weakened by his previous Pokemon.

"You seem to be a fan of pugilism, hahahaha!" Wattson pointed out, squeezing the Pokeball and letting a very large version of it emerge from the flash of crimson light. This Pokeball had a very angry look on its face, but it patiently waited for any orders before it would attack the foe whose eyes is settled on hatefully, as though filled with hateful hate of the hating hater! "Let's see how you can handle Punchy Ball, oh ho ho ho ho ho! Mega Punch!" Wattson ordered, and the Voltorb needed no further instructions. It shot across the trapped floor, bypassing it entirely while Imoen looked on in horror at just what was happening to the creature. A lump began to form at its side, emerging first as a solid block before lengthening into a practical pole, which then bent halfway and near the tip, which then split into five and formed a very thin arm and hand. Then, it clenched into a fist and it all of a sudden became much larger; the pulled fist of a bodybuilder and it was aiming right for Imoen's injured shoulder.

The fist slammed into Imoen and Flunschlick. The fish went flying out of Imoen's hands as the knuckle of the fist slammed into her temple. She let out a pained cry, falling down to her knees and staring at the floor with tearful eyes. She looked first at her shoulder, injured, beaten, and unusable. She looked at the wall that Flunschlick had collided with, and now laid beaten and motionless on the floor. She looked up, at the Voltorb whose fist had receded back into its body, but its after effects still lingered all too well. They burned in Imoen's mind. The pain in her nerves, the vision of her friend abused by the creature before her. She felt something she hadn't truly felt for a little while, not as herself. But there it was. The focus in her eyes. The determination to defeat her enemy. The anger to fuel her strength. And the adrenaline to think nothing of the consequences. This battle was going to be won by Imoen Patricia Gesenbow.

Imoen got back to her feet and locked eyes with the Voltorb. It drew its fist again and slammed it into her cheek. Nothing. It did it again. Nothing. It did it one more time. Imoen grabbed the fist out of the air and slammed it back into Voltorb's body, forcing its mass back inside. She slammed her hands on each side of the Voltorb, one on red, one on white. She twisted it in her arms, turning the Voltorb on its side, and pushed its halves together. Then, she started twisting. The voltorb let out a garbled screech as each of its halves were twisted, but it was suddenly cut off as red and white was separated. Imoen tore the Voltorb in two with a cry of anger, then tossed them to each side of her. Panting and glaring at the air in front of her, she stood above the unconscious bodies of her enemies. And was victorious.

Imoen slowly recovered her senses and Wattson gave her a brief round of applause, as her Pokeball recalled Flunschlick automatically. "Well done, my girl! Haha, never a more passionate fighter have I seen! You will do well in this business, I assure you! Yo ho ho!" He smiled widely and offered her the gym badge. "Now, run along! I must get Poppins and Pikachu and Punchy Ball healed before my next challenges, hahahaha! And with your victory, the Officers know that your charges are cleared and you are free to go. So farewell!"

"Uhh..." Imoen looked around blankly. "Thanks." She tucked away her badge and walked away from the gym.
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Old December 18th, 2013 (7:05 AM).
Songbird's Avatar
Songbird Songbird is offline
RPT's resident fanfic & smut writer.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Posts: 458

Imoen leveled up!

Strength increased by 3
Speed increased by 4
Endurance increased by 4

Imoen learned Double-Slap!

After living through such a powerful punch from Punchy Balls, Flunschlick leveled up!

Flunschlick broke the game and learned Revenge!

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Old January 9th, 2014 (5:08 AM).
Sephear's Avatar
Sephear Sephear is offline
Believe in the you that believes in cheese
Silver Tier
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Nevada...ugh
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Posts: 1,185

Jeff Miles
First Gym Battle! The Eclectic Electric overlord of Mauville: What lies beneath that menacing paunch?

Imoen had noticed him, he could give her the ice cream, he had one good thing that day after all, maybe he wasn't a total jerkbag! Then her eyes locked on Wattson and glazed over for a moment, when they cleared again they seemed different somehow. With no warning Imoen attacked Wattson, viciously launching him to the top of his gym's front stairs with a blast of water from her weapon pokemon. Then the sirens Jeff had been hearing earlier got louder and all of a sudden an entire platoon of blue-haired bimbos hoes hoe-POLICE OFFICERS showed up, apparently to apprehend Imoen. Oh so she was the cause of all that ruckus I heard on my gurney ride through the city, why didn't I just tell her to scram when she bumped into me? Then again this kind of crap follows me wherever I go lately, better to at least deal with it with a friend...no matter how crazy. And then she dashed over to Jeff himself, and snatched the ultimate ice cream of apology and friendship...and vanilla. Jeff felt a tear form in his left eye as she ran back towards Wattson the moment she took the ice cream, before Wattson defused the whole situation and she went inside. For some reason he felt like the way she took the ice cream from him was the most cruel and evil thing she could have possibly done right then.

And, just like that, in a huff of hallucination-induced fury she was gone. After the door closed behind Imoen a certain im-patient's gurney started to shake, heck it even got him just about upright before going over and planting his face firmly on the floor in front of the stairs. It started to move towards the stairs, dragged by unyielding determination! Oh yeah, and Jeff's arms, of course this only went on for a few more seconds before a foot stomped his hand and pinned it to the floor. "And where exactly do you think you're going?" Some incoherent mumbling and maybe even a "Hmpf!" Or two were uttered by the gurney, and surprisingly Dr. Gooseland replied as if he were fluent in the language...which he is.

"Oh so you want to march in there and watch you're friends match do you?"

An affirmative mumble.

"Well you can't."


"Because I'm the doctor and I say so."


"My reasons? Why must you make me waste more words than are absolutely necessary? Can't you see? Down there, on the floor, where you put yourself because you are an idiot? The Jennies are forming a perimeter around the gym because if you're friend does lose she's going right to the slammer."


"Well...if she wins she's free to go...because Wattson said so, being a Gym Leader is like being a mayor...except you don't have to manage the city at all...your word just has a lot of weight, and you're good at fighting...and-well being a Gym Leader is actually WAY better than being a mayor, especially when you own the city biggest casino. Hooo-ey, you and your friend are lucky Wattson's just the right kind of coocoo, or she'd be screeeeeewed."


"What? Doesn't being a crazy person and bumping into you mean you're friends? Best friends? Forevvvvvsies? That's how I met my best friend."


"Yup, he bowled me right over while I was studying from the only medical book I ever bothered to buy."


"What do you mean you thought I'd be the one who bumped into him? And before you ask yes I still know what you're saying when you don't say anything, I KNOW EVERYT-well not quite everything, I don't know as much as Brotad. But I'm still a whole Groudon more knowledgable than you are you brat, that's it you're grounded, unless you beat Wattson on your first try you're staying on this gurney with me."

At this the hand under the good...ish doctor's foot pulled with renewed vigor and through his foot off as the gurney *cough* Jeff's scrabbling and pulling became so frantic he was up the stairs and to the front doors of the gym in no time, despite how much any physicist would want to argue with me. Sadly that didn't mean Jeff was standing upright, so since the Jennies had turned off the doors' sensors in case Imoen tried to sprint out after losing her battle Jeff merely scrabbled his face right into another painful meeting with an inanimate object.

Dear Dr. Gooseland reacted to the oh-so-rude actions of his beloved patient with admirable grace...as he gave Jeff a light kick to his hindquarters and laughed. "Did you really think you could get away from me with all the things you've learned about me so far?" Coincidentally after being low on oxygen from being squeezed by sadistically tight gurney straps and having said gurney's weight on him so long, Jeff was a little lightheaded and the violent kiss with that sexy sexy door knocked him straight to dreamland to hang with Kirby. "Alright, enjoy your nap ya doof, ah I love it when they anesthetize themselves."

A door opened, some feet stepped past the gurney, undoubtedly not noticing it was actually a Jeffery-turtle, a rare offshoot of the Jefferey Giraffe which is known for Pokemon battles and having bad luck, it's also a distant cousin of the black cat. "Oh, hello young lady." Dr. Gooseland greeted who he knew to be Imoen, if you're surprised by that you obviously haven't payed enough attention, but of course I can't say how. They don't pay me enough to get on Brotad's bad side...AW CRAP- Because Brotad hates spoilers of course, he has NOTHING ELSE TO DO WITH THIS EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP! Ahem, Dr. Gooseland continued. "You seem to be back to Imoen Gesenbow and no longer the great and powerful Bloodhunt, if you're back to your senses I suppose I should tell you Jeff intends to go battle Wattson now if you care. You could go and watch him but I'm sure you have other...things to get back to. It should be quite enter-hm? The doors haven't closed yet."

Of course the doors should have closed, the doors themselves still worked and with the sensors off there was no reason for it not to close...besides the gurney stuffed between the doors that is. "Oh no, you go in when I wheel you in, I'm responsible for you and I will NOT be blamed for any damage you cause! There's not enough money left in your wallet for me to pay off the Jennies!"

"Hmpf!" At the command - yes it was a command and yes the pokemon can understand it, they can understand just saying their own names to each other can't they? Shut up - Jeff's Pidgey burst from it's own pokeball as it was wont to do and promptly kicked sand into the doctor's eyes, his only weakness...no not attacks to his eyes, sand silly.

"Argh! My eyes! My perfect, all-seeing eyes of omniscience! They can't see anything, they're notniscient!" With that the Pidgey flew through the open doorway and Romanov - who everyone probably forgot was following Jeff and Doctor Gooseland the whole time because he's never in his pokeball - Slid on his belly like an obese penguin that still has a slick belly and pushed the gurney into the gym along with himself before the doors closed and would not reopen thanks to the dead sensors.

Dr. Gooseland sat on the ground and began rubbing his eyes, but didn't bother to yell or make the Jennies let him in as he most assuredly could have, instead his visage donned that maniacal look it showed Jeff back at the hospital clinic place-type deal. "Oooh I really hope he gets hurt while he's in there, I know just how I'll treat him if he does..."

Inside the Gym the gurney shook a bit and flipped over, revealing a gasping Jeff smiling like the idiot he had been accused of being. "I'm FREE! I'm free of that psychotic honk!" A honk is NOT the sound a Ducklett makes! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?! "Well...I'm still in this gurney...but I'm away from him, that's free enough for me a thousand times over. Pidgey, could you please press the pokeball that has the hot dog on it for me?" The little bird pokemon complied and out came Captain Beauregard Lefleur standing at attention with a happy bark. "Growlithe! Please use Ember as carefully as you can and burn the strap holding my arms down."

"Grow!" Of course! Precision is an important part of being a soldier, especially a captain, you will be free momentarily general. If Jeff had asked any of his other pokemon to do something so risky it probably wouldn't have ended well, but if nothing else Beauregard is a professional, and he IS many other things, so moments later our hero's arms were unrestrained.

Jeff removed the other straps with gusto before rolling off of the gurney and sitting still face down for a moment before jumping up, his face was quite numb from punishment now and he acted as if nothing had happened. "Success! now...ONWARD TO VICTORY!" And with no warning whatsoever to the 3 confused pokemon left in his wake Jeff dashed onward...towards victory...I hope, I know what Gooseland does to patients that actually piss him off and I don't want to see it happen again, not even to Jeff. The burst of adrenaline from the excitement and fear of being free carried Jeff quickly and efficiently...that is until his body remembered his legs were asleep from inactivity and he - you guessed it - faceplanted, luckily his face was planted in a very nice pot in front of who was to be his first opponent.

A man with a green mo-hawk many piercings and WAY too much leather jacket to actually be cool (None is cool) stood a good 20 feet away from our...brave...hero, tapping his feet as he tried to fight off the jitters. "Alright boy, you ready to rock?!?"

Jeff pushed the ground until his face lifted off of it and proceeded to stand before putting up two fingers. "Ok, two things: One, lame, that sentence and EVERYTHING else about you. Two, why aren't you asking ANY of the questions you should be and why do you know I'm here to battle you?"

"That was three things, and shut up I'm awesome, and because this is a gym, duh."

"...No you shut up."

"I'm not surprised to hear nothing clever coming from a brat who doesn't appreciate rock properly."

"I've been through enough today, I don't have to take that from a walking cliche who doesn't even talk like a rocker."

"Alright punk, that's it! You're going DOWN!"

"Oh look, more cliches, and an ironic derogatory name too!"

The rocker tossed a pokeball up into the air and began a sick riff on his air guitar while the deadly sphere of doom feel to the ground and released the instrument of Jeff's destruction: a Pachirisu.

Jeff immediately burst out laughing. "You've got to be kidding me! After all I've been through today all I have to fight to get through Wattson is a Pikasquirrel? A total knockoff? What's next? You're just a guy impersonating a wannabe punk rocker and you're actually the manager of some cheap boutique?"

"Hey! Don't talk about Amp the wonder-squirrel or Cotoure Le Wattson that way!"

"Oh please I-wait you're serious?...Uhhh...Okay Rodrigo you're up!" One tossed pokeball later and Jeff's other pokemon had to watch after chasing after Jeff as the green rockasaur stepped onto the battlefield accompanied by acoustic guitar noises.

Alright little fluffy-tailed rodent it's about time I teach you the meaning of pain as long as today is cliche day.

Once the rocker saw his target make an appearance he decided it was time for Amp to bring the gospel of rock to Rodrigo and Jeff as he had so many others. "Alright amp, let's start this show de-clawing that whatever it is! Charm!" The Pachirisu immediately let out an adorable noise and adopted a sweet pose in front of Rodrigo.

"Awww...it's. So. CUTE!" Jeff's eyes grew big and sparkly as he watched the fuzzy static ball attempt to sharply lower Rodrigo's attack stat. "Why I could just pick it up and-" WHAM! DOWN GOES THE SQUIRREL! HE JUST WASN'T READY FOR SUMMER SLAM!

Sorry, but the only charms that have any appeal to me are the feminine variety, now I think it's time you allowed me and my maestro to pass. The unphased Larvitar clamped his jaws shut around the Pachirisu's tiny torso and began to shake him through the air, ignoring the rocker's desperate attack orders and the type-mismatched electric attacks that moved harmlessly over Rodrigo's form. This continued until Rodrigo was satisfied and threw the squirrel to the floor, it's swirly eyes confirming it's loss. Jeff didn't say a word, he just strode past the poor rocker with his pokemon following, snapping his fingers in the guy's face on the way.

It only took another minute or so of brave marching...well actually it was more like relaxed, victorious walking with Jeff whistling a tune. Listen narrating is hard when you can't just make up hallucinations gimme a break! The point is Jeff's next opponent stopped him with a word...and her beauty but anyways. "Halt!"

Jeff froze in place and stared for a moment before standing at attention even tighter than Beauregard. "Yes ma'am whatever you say my sweet scarlet beauty." Standing there, looking at him with anything other than a smile, but still captivating him with her gorgeousossityness was Helia, another one of Wattson's trainers. Not only is she as tall as Jeff, she's got smooth blemish-free creamy skin, infallibly truthful hips and quite a nice small marble statue of someone's head and shoulders in her mansion. *Nudge nudge wink wink* Well she rolled her eyes at Jeff and reached for her pokeball, prepared to add him to the list of losers who got the honor of looking upon her before being thrashed in battle.

Romanov stepped forward, determined to get a piece of the action after having to spend an entire afternoon following Jeff's gurney and listening to him and the doctor snipe at each other. Helia smirked and tossed her pokeball to the ground. "Go, Hoplite!" And the beam from her pokeball formed itself into a vicious looking Squirtle.

Jeff swooned for a moment but quickly caught himself with the power of confusion. "Wow, she's so hot when she's getting ready bat-wait Squirtle's not an electric type! This is an Electric gym, you can't just-"

"Thunderbolt!" A bright golden energy sparked into life around and throughout Hoplite's body and arced towards Romanov from it's hand like a spear of Zeus and zapped the poor penguin Munchlax but good. "Ah!......Why do these things happen to me? Better yet, why haven't I learned not to question the logic of it all yet? Alright Romanov, go give that Squirtle a lick!" Romanov ran up to the Squirtle and prepared to confuse and disgust it into defeat, but it was for naught."

"Withdraw." The Squirtle hid inside it's ultimate fortress of doom and left Romanov to pick up and lick a shell, ignoring the salty tang of soft and fluffy reptile in all it's ridiculousness. "Thunderbolt" And thus the name "Hoplite" Was explained when the Squirtle zapped Romanov while simultaneously blocking his attacks.

Crapcrapcrap what'do I do? How do I stop her she's as adept at battling as she is at stealing hearts.

"Skull bash!"

Before Jeff could put anymore thought that would most likely just be ruined by the sensuality of his opponent into the battle it revved up again when the Squirtle came back out of it's shell and flew at Romanov almost like magic.

Ding! "Romanov, use counter!" Romanov slammed his left foot and then his right foot down sumo style and became covered in a threatening orange aura. Helia's eyes widened at the realization that there was no way for Squirtle to stop it's attack now even though her wits were definitely quick and sharp enough. Hoplite flew at Romanov inexorably and just when he was a bout to connect Romanov grabbed one of her arms and spun around, flinging her headfirst into the wall with all the momentum of her own attack and his throw. Jeff's hopes were dashed however when Hoplite promptly pulled itself out of the hole it had made in the wall and prepared to resume conquest. "Uhhh...Oh my, umm...Time out! Challenger get's one substitution sexy defender get's none, league rules!" Helia didn't bother arguing, sure he was right but it was mainly because none of his pokemon could stand a chance against Hoplite, even after a hit like that.

"Alright Rodrigo, Romanov's had enough of a workout maybe it was good enough for a level I dunno this junky pokedex won't tell me how much xp I get for some raisin It's time for you to shine after that last easy victory!"

Helia lost her composure at this for just a moment and had to speak up. "Seriously!?! You just complained about Hoplite being a water type and you're going to battle her with a pokemon that's quadruple weak against her?"

Jeff smiled, feeling assured of his victory now. "Oh don't you worry my fiery vixen who is not a vulpix, what I have in mind for dear Rodrigo next is something he's never failed at."

"Alright, if that's how you want it, I'll tell Wattson you put up a better fight than most of the trainers who had the misfortune of running into me instead of one of the weaker disciples. Hoplite, finish this farce with Ice Be-"

"Rodrigo use Attract!" Jeff gasped out as fast as he could.

Rodrigo winked and Hoplite froze in the middle of taking a deep breath and almost choked on the attack she was preparing as her blue visage was suffused with pink. She wasn't willing to hurt the gorgeous hunk of non-luminescent plutonium that was advancing on her with a seductive sway of the hips, but she would never fail her mistress because of her own mind, so she did the only thing she could. She hid in her shell where she could sort her thoughts in peace, that is, until she heard the voice of defeat like a doorbell of death.

Oh sweet damsel, why do you hide from true love? Come now, I'm sure I can think of plenty of reasons for you to come out of your shell, and it will be worth it I assure you. She poked her head out for a moment and he seized the chance, stroking her chin gently and coaxing her to stand back up and become like putty in his arms. Yes yes Senorita, just relax, the Maestro de amour is going to take care of you, and teach you the meaning of love. He leaned in close, his minted breath on her face, heating her up even more, he drew even tighter, smoochably close. He had been leering at her amorously the whole time and now his opportunity was at hand, just as his mouth drew close to her neck to place a tentative kiss. The first lesson is...in a relationship you must always establish who is the alpha right away. The perfectly sculpted lips were quickly replaced by domineering fangs and Rodrigo sank them into his beloved without hesitation. Hoplite was so shocked she fell without anymore fight, and once Rodrigo had a real grip on her she couldn't get enough traction to fight back even with her senses about. In no time Hoplite's struggles grew yet more feeble and Helia recalled her.

"Alright, I supposed you're not too bad." The voluptuous red head declared, drawing closer to Jeff in practically the same attack as Jeff without the biting. "Sorry not-so-stud, you are kinda handsome and I am impressed, but your destined to sail other ships, ships that aren't written by the same person you are. But we will meet again, I don't just take defeat...lying down, and next time I'll be the one who comes out on top."

Her words inflamed Jeff's face and just as she passed him she finished her speech with a tap right on the pack of his neck that covered him in shivers of more than one kind. Defeated, Helia left the Mauville Gym, knowing she had no more growing to do there and determined to become stronger. Jeff was left with nothing else to do but walk until he found the largest room of the gym to face it's mayor. Sadly Wattson was still plenty for battle, laughing and guffawing with honed battle prowess instead of a silly mustache, a monacle, and a hotline phone with a silly face to save the town from certain doom. It was time for our would-be hero to earn his first badge.
Sometimes all you need in life are the simple pleasures.

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Old January 14th, 2014 (5:53 PM).
DLMuerte DLMuerte is offline
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Seth: We don't, seriously
Mauville City

Seth stood, well was now sitting really, because some CSI unit of the organization known as Jennies, or were they Jennys, or were they just the po-po like in da hood NYC Unova? Well whatever, they were now so engrossed in their work that they had to check Seth's prints- whatever that was, and shirt size, since apparently "scientific evidence has shown that these correlate to the level of sexiness which correlates to..." uh... crime stuff apparently. Really he thought they were being weird, but most Hoes were weird Hoes anyways. So he sat, and they blocked off the perimeter- even though some disabled dude somehow got into the gym as well, noting this- and in the end he decided that, you know, he really wasn’t going to get anything done. He approached one of the Hoes, scratching the back of his head.

“Hey, you know when I can have my shirt back?”

“Erm, well, about that...” The woman he spoke to looked past Seth’s shoulder where a Jenny was taking his shirt, which she covered her nose and held over a trash can. That’s why you don’t visit Hoenn without a change of clothes. “Here, have this one.” She pushed a red one onto his chest, which he held and slipped into. Then, she thought about it for a moment, and before Seth turned around blushing slightly, she took a stick of deodorant and pushed it into his chest too. “Here, take this, too. You need it.”

“Gee, speaking of blunt...” He slipped his shirt on. “But thank you.”

“You also might want to clean it. The deoderant. It’s not mine.”

“Hoes these days...” Seth took it anyways, but decided not to use it. Instead he put it in his backpack and reminded himself to throw it out, then began to question whether deodorant was a recyclable. Nah, probably not. But the question was, is the plastic used deodorant. “Hrm... Hey, uh, Jenny!”

All the cops in the immediate vicinity looked up, even a few guys. Gods, even them?!

“Nonono, just one. Um, you!” He picks the one closest to a few blue screens. “Do you know if the plastic in these things is recyclable?”

“Honey, do I know what now?”

“Do you know if the plastic is recycla-”

“Gimme this.” She takes the deodorant and shoots it into a nearby trashcan, somehow lighting it on fire. “Oh crap, KOH-BEH!”

“No. Please. Stop.”

While this is going on, a member of the friendly neighborhood gang is talking to some other dude from another region. When the can lights up, he snarls. "Don't you realize mother******? We don't play, yo. We don't ****ing play. You see that? That’s the bad***ery of us Hoes right there, we don’t play. You don’t **** with us."


Seth looks towards the screens. “Hey, is that the inside?”

“Yeah hun, there’s some serious stuff going on in there...”

“Yeah, I’m not getting in, are I?”

“Not unless you-”

“Yeah no.” He sighs and walks away, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “There’s no way I’m going to challenge the gym now. No way in hell... I’d be screwed, for sure.” He mumbles to himself, walking pensively, before stumbling over a rock, which in turn leads him stumbling over a significantly larger rock, which in turn leads to him falling on top of a table and bringing it down with him, causing a flip only being able to be perfected by a gymnast. In one of the more urban areas of Mauville, he realizes that he’s surrounded by smaller stands; this is Kantotown. Looking up to see a woman jumping back and looking to his side to see a salesman, he gets up and wipes his pants, not realizing two very important things.

One, he’s stumbled over Fawkes Cortez, again. Two, he has about five Revival Herbs in his pocket and is about to walk off with them, not realizing what has happened. Fawkes has, however, and as Seth simply walks off with the herbs in his pocket, Fawkes lets out a shrill cry of “Profit-diminisher!” and Seth runs, not knowing why but knowing there’s two Kantonese guys running towards him and a whole lot more.

“Oh, dammit.” It’s like that gang moment again, except the thing is that the gang guy was Kantonese, and- oh screw it they’re going to kill him anyways. Even though it smelled... interesting. Even though the food was calling for his name- and the berries oh they had BERRIES- even though he could rant all day about the plain Kanto mythology- he ran. A stall or two was knocked over, and this was all before he finally, finally arrived near the Tularosa Research Facility- somehow- and found himself cornered with one and one man only.


“Oh hey Fawkes.”

“Oh hey you’re that customer, how’ve you been?” He randomly grabs a table, as if nothing had happened- with a screen of "NOT THE PUNCH!!!!"- and grins. “Win against that gym leader yet?”

“Nah- wait, how d’ya know that I was going to chal-”

“Sh sh sh...” Fawkes holds up a finger to Seth’s mouth. “I know everything.”

“Wait, wha-”

“Well, so did you win?”

“Nah, and I still dunno what this stone and all was for, y’know, because I just got it and I guess I haven’t used it and-”

“WAIT.” Fawkes gets up. “That’s right, that’s why I’m here! You stole my weed herbs! I WANT THEM BACK, or YOU'RE GOING TO PAY.” He suddenly went goop-eyed for a moment. "Literally."

“Okay, okay, here man, chill, this is... oh crap, I don’t have enough can I just-”

“NOPE.” Fawkes lets out his hand towards Seth, letting it tremble as he raises it towards the heavens. “You... Seth Arosi... must now face the wrath of the salesman, by the Grace of Goomy...!”

Seth’s eyes widen as he grabs a PokeBall by his side. Crap...! I don't think I'm ready!

But here I go!

homestuck fan club | astra story & ??? | the tatami galaxy
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Old January 14th, 2014 (6:16 PM). Edited January 14th, 2014 by Sephear.
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Sephear Sephear is offline
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Jeffery the not-a-Giraffe Miles: Boss Battles and fateful encounters...and of course random danger, what else?

A few more steps and he was in the gigantohugamongous pokemon arena that was the final room of Mauville's Gym, and at the end of it awaited the more and more sinister seeming king of paunches...Wattson. The man stood there with the same goofy grin as always plastered on his face, bellowing out a hearty chuckle the mirth of which nobody with a heart could resist, unless of course you just got done dealing with his gauntlet of cliches and hawwwwt temptresses that is. Jeff wasn't sure if Wattson had seen him what with how pointlessly big the room was (seriously was he expecting people to bring in Groudons?) so despite the obvious fact that it made him look like a "doof" he called out to his opponent. "Alright Wattson! I'm here to take that badge, you're zappy squirrels and gorgeous ladehs-ahem I mean thunderbolt-using squirtles were no match for me!"

Wattson let out yet another happy laugh...boy he sure does that a lot doesn't he? And stepped forward himself. "Alright young man, you've proven you're worthy of battling me even if you are awful at dealing with women." Jeff raised a hand and opened his heroic mouth to valiantly object, then the events since he had made it to Isle de Fairnorth (in the south) went through his mind and the words died in his throat as he hung his head in shame.

"Well, I'm sure you've had a tough enough time, after all I made sure my apprentices were as eccentric as I am, Hahahaha!" Sorry pal not even close...I wonder where Helia went, is it okay for Narrators to date characters in the stories they tell? Ah forget it Jeff would just find a way to ruin it, just like he ruined the rest of my life by getting me stuck with him.

GET ON WITH IT ALREADY Jeff shouted impatiently at...oh he's talking to me, wait. I THOUGHT I BEAT THAT OUT OF YOU, STOP KNOWING I EXIST! Who said that?...Okay, I see how it is, screw with me as much as you want but I promise you'll pay for it. Ok sorry folks, back to that jerk's battle.

The portly gym leader let out yet ANOTHER positively intoned variant of a laugh and tossed out his first weapon Pokemon, an Electrike. "Alright Rocky! I found a challenger for you!"

"Rocky?" Jeff muttered to himself. "It's an Electric type; what kind of name is Rocky? Bah, whatever. Romanov, you're up!" Romanov rolled around for a few more seconds munching on the latest berry it had managed to find even in the middle of a gym before bouncing up happily to confront his opponent.

"Alright! The battle between the Gym Leader Wattson and the challenger Jeff miles will now commence!" A judge in a referee's uniform shouted from seemingly nowhere, causing Jeff to swivel his head so fast he got a krick in his neck. The man swung the green flag downward and yelled "Begin!"

Jeff had been thinking about Romanov's current style of fighting and knew just how to start it. "Okay Romanov, use Metrono" POW! "Wait, what just-" BIFF! BAP! Before Jeff could even finish his first command Romanov's face met with a surprisingly powerful paw-fist. Our hero's jaw dropped almost as hard as it had at the sight of Helia. "I didn't know Elektrike's had breeds!"

Wattson let out a great guffaw at his challenger's surprise. "Oh, everything has a breed my boy! And sweet little rocky is a boxer. Bwahahahaha!"

Jeff rubbed the back of his head for a moment at the continuing insanity of it all and had the distinct feeling that he had just heard the punchline to some joke set up by the Electrike's name. Sadly it didn't make any more sense to him than Rodrigo's theme music, because Wattson seems to belong to the list of people that DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS IS A DIFFERENT WORLD WITH DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AND MOVIES.

Wattson pointed upwards...right where my booth in the gym was...Grah! Stop acknowledging my existence you idiots! The fourth wall is fragile enough here as it is! "Don't tell me what to do!" The gym leader belted out in a tone very reminiscent of a certain abridged Suzaku and Rocky restarted his relentless assault.

"Argh, why is it that every time I battle with Romanov that this move is my ace in the hole? I don't even like it! Romanov hurry up and learn a new move!" The grunts and various comic book fighting sound effects made it clear Romanov was in no position or mood to argue with his trainer. "Right, sorry! Romanov use Counter!" In the middle of another viscious left-hook being launched his way Romanov was covered in a familiar orange veil of energy and caught Rocky's punch, before throwing one of his own with double it's predecessor's power. But Rocky was not to be dissuaded, he HAD to keep the belt, and NO upstart bear-penguin was going to take it from him.

With no hesitation at all after the powerful strike Rocky redoubled his efforts in a new flurry of attacks, it was almost as if he had combined Mega Punch and Comet Punch into one move. Romanov was well aware this wasn't a fight he could win with his own normal moves, it was far too one sided between their speeds, so he kept his Counter poised and ready. And so the two warriors continued their nearly redundant battle for quite a while, but even though he was using Counter Romanov wasn't decisively winning as one might expect. While the move allowed him to give as good as he got, that was all he could do, even using counter he didn't actually have the power to hit Rocky any harder than Rocky hit him.

They wore down each other's defenses more and more until Jeff decided Romanov's unbelievable endurance wasn't enough to win this battle. "Romanov, put all your strength into the next Counter and jump back as far as you can!" The next time Rocky struck Romanov executed his command and gave the epic boxer an uppercut that sent him reeling before leaping backwards as best he could, but in case you didn't know "Laxes" aren't the most graceful ballerinas, so Romanov slipt and fell onto his back fat forthwith.. "Ok Romanov, waggle those fingers buddy, Metronome!"

Wattson knew all too well how dangerous Metronome could be, although considering the kind of luck this kid seemed to have he was more likely to believe the Metronome would be somthing detrimental. "Rocky, get to the Munchlax and finish it off so we can get back to tea time!" Right as Romanov began waggling his index-ish fingers back and forth and they gathered a pearlescent glow at their tips, Rocky ran at the downed Munchlax, keeping his gloves paws up the whole time.

Nothing had happened yet when Rocky reached Romanov, so he planted a foot on his victim's voluminous belly before hovering his fist over Romanov's face. I'm sorreh pal, but I can't let the belt go, it's all I got left. You gave me a good work out, and for that, I respect you. But just as he raised his fist a little higher to get more weight behind the punch, Romanov stopped waggling his fingers and his face puffed up simultaneously. The whole thing was so spontaneous and silly Rocky didn't react until Romanov opened his maw and released a massive flamethrower into the hapless boxer's face, made all the stronger by the gaseous emissions it was borne on, and sent Rocky flying nearly to the ceiling before he came crashing back down.

The chubby-rific Gym Leader was so surprised by the turn of events it actually took a few moments before he began laughing, and it sounded a little forced. "Oh hohohoha! Well it looks like you win the first round my boy! But can you handle my next warrior? Come on out Hakuna!" The pokeball that left his hand after said battle call released a white beam that quickly solidified into a Blitzle. Jeff could have sworn he saw a huge sunrise behind and heard Litleos meowing.

Jeff thunk for a moment before digging through his belt to find the pokeball with a flame sticker on it (conveniently placed by the not-so-good doctor) and threw it out. It was only when the ball fell anti-climactically to the ground and opened to nothing that he remembered all his pokemon were out already, not just Romanov. "Oh...erm...Yeah, Growlithe get to work!" Beauregard marched primly to the battlefield and harrumphed at both his opponent and his trainer.

"Captain Beauregard Lefleur: Captain of the 13th brigade of the Holy Growlithe Empirial Army." The Pokedex in one of Jeff's pockets sounded off and almost made him jump. "I forgot I had you for a minute!" He pulled Dex out and looked at the Growlithe's status page, making special note of his moves. "Completely different than when I battled you, just like I figured, someone better pick up that phone...Well Beauregard, let's see what you can do! This time I'm going first, Ember!"

Beauregard leapt forward, belching a small gout of flame at Hakuna. Hakuna reacted quickly, jumping out of the way and leaving a small scorch mark on the floor behind him. "Hakuna, give him a taste of your Iron Tail!"

"Beauregard dodge it!" Jeff reacted well and Beauregard was no slouch at dodging, but he was no match for Hakuna's almost vampiric quickness. Hakuna ran slightly to the left of Beauregard, seeming like he was going to run past the Growlithe until at the last moment his glowing tail whipped out like a Seviper, slapping Beauregard hard accross the chest. "Give Ember one more try!" Beauregard shot another small blast of fire at Hakuna, but he was just too fast, he dodged it almost effortlessly. It was starting to seem hopeless, Beauregard only had one legitimate attack and it was too slow to hit the Blitzle...but he could tell that Hakuna specialized in physical attacks, so he made a shot in the dark.

"Wow Wattson, so far the dangerous electric type gym mayor doesn't seem to be much of one for electric type attacks, no wonder my first victory against you was practically an accident. I don't even have to try to beat you!"

Wattson practically roared with laughter, yet somehow these chuckles and giggles seemed immensely threatening. "Oh it's electric attacks you want is it? Well I'm more than happy to oblige! BWAHAHAHA! Hakuna, let's see your Volt Tackle!" Jeff wasn't sure whether he had hit the jackpot or a snake-eyes, on the one hand that was exactly the move he wanted, on the other...

Hakuna was enveloped by crackling energy and in short order practically flew at Beauregard like a magnetically accelerated lightning bolt, as unscientific as that is. He crashed into Beauregard and flung him right to a wall, almost K-Oing him in a single hit. "HOLY SPHINCTERS! Uhh uhh...Beauregard use Morning Sun!" The wounded Growlithe jumped upright and looked to the ceiling, where a bright, warm light manifested and shown radiant healing goodness down upon it's reverent worshipper. The light came just in time, it healed Beauregard just enough to survive the next Volt Tackle that slammed into him.

"So, do you like it? You can have as many as you want dear boy! Hakuna, more and more! YARHARHARHAR!" The great and powerful Giggle Beard belted out. Beauregard put as much of his regenerating energy as he could into making the mini-sun stay up constantly while he was hammered on. Hakuna began to slacken from all the recoil, but his attacks were hurting fast than the sun could heal, so it was time for phase two of the ultimate turtle strategy.

"Beauregard, nap time boy! Rest!" At his command the Growlithe fell softly to the ground and began immediately kicking one of his hind legs. Thanks to how much energy he had offered the beautiful NOT giant monkey making mini-sun, it stayed out even while he sleapt, bathing him in gentle warmth.

Wattson's smile grew wider and more malevolent than ever before when he saw the corner Jeff had drawn himself into. "Good good, now he can't dodge. Hakuna! Horn Drill!"

Jeff paled and let out a terrified "Eep!" Meanwhile Hakuna's horn glowed and grew, even managing to spin with increasing velocity as he charged at the helpless growlithe sleeping on the floor. So Wattson had seen through his plan after all, and no amount of healing would help Beauregard survive against a one-hit K-O move. Luckily for Jeff, Beauregard had one serious flaw that only showed itself when he was sleeping. Just as doom descended upon the valiant Captain Beauregard Lefleur he opened his mouth and his nasal passages to let out the loudest, most racous snoring anyone had ever heard.

The snore became visible soundwaves and bounced Hakuna right off themselves, dropping him horn first on the floor, where he became stuck. He struggled to pull himself out until he lightly clunked his head on the floor and went out like a light, far too tired form the repeated Volt Tackles to really withstand a hit. The Referee-judge-type dude waved the red flag. "Hakuna is defeated! The next pokemon of Leader Wattson's that goes down will make Jeff the winner!

Wattson [insert witty title for laugh here] and tossed out his last pokemon for the battle without a moment's hesitation. "Come on out Daddy Stubby-legs!" Now on the battlefield stood the most terrifying, unstoppable force ever unleashed upon the Reburst world: A Joltik.

"I hate spiders!" Jeff yelled at the sight of the abomination. "Luckily, I know of a creature that loves to eat spiders. Pidgey, it's your turn! Oh yeah, you don't have a name yet....hmmm...How about Windshear? You haven't even used gust yet but that's a cool name for a bird, yeah, Windshear! Alright Windshear, get ready to tear that bug apart!" Windshear fluttered over to her opponent, licking her beak eagerly in anticipation of her oncoming meal.

Jeff's expectations of the battle were shattered however when Wattson gave the forecast of defeat. "Thunder." Were the only words uttered before Daddy Stubby-legs let out an enormous spike of erratic electricity that flew straight up and crashed right down on WindShear, leaving her a heap of prostrate limbs and feathers on the floor.

"I-I...ouch...just...ouch. Okay, let's finish this Rodrigo!" As the green knight of ultimate chivalry strode onto the battlefield Wattson cackled in tune with the guitar noises that surrounded him. Jeff tensed as he watched the combatants stare each other down, surely this final battle would be the most vicious and close of them all. As soon as the referee waved his green flag Rodrigo picked up the Joltik between his angry jaws with a speed that surprised everyone there.

That is not how you treat a lady! You worthless cow, you rapscallion! You INSECT! You would have been lucky to be graced with the digestive juices of such a perfect model of the female form! In the panic of being shook by rage-empowered jaws Daddy Stubby-legs could think of nothing but Electric attacks, which didn't even hurt Rodrigo, until the Larvitar flung his opponent to the floor and walked back to Jeff without a second thought.

"That's game set and match! Jeff Miles is the winner of this battle!"

Wattson laughed harder than ever, as if losing to a new trainer was the greatest victory he could achieve and stepped to Jeff with a sparkling trinket in hand. "I must say Jeff, that was quite the battle! BWAHAHAHARHAR! I knew there was something different about you, I was just wrong about what."

"Hey what's that supposed to me-"

"But regardless you have earned this badge! Take it and go do great things! Because if you don't Helia will give you quite the thrashing the next time she finds you."

"Wait how did you know Helia was the one I bat-"

"Alright shoo! Go on and celebrate! BWAHAHAHAHAHA me matey ahem, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jeff realized right quick that he wouldn't stop hearing the laughing until he left, and even then it would probably follow him through his dreams for weeks. He returned all his pokemon to their prisons pokeballs and sprinted back towards the entrance as fast as he could. He only stopped once to use the Pokecenter-quality healing machine right by the entrance before bursting out into the clean night air. As it turns out he had no time to notice all the Jennies and Dr. Gooseland were gone before his thoughts were interrupted.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—*LE CRASH*

A beautiful young girl ran in from the distance and bowled Jeff over, falling on top of him and the sweet scent of berries arresting his senses. He opened his eyes from the fall and took a look at who had taken refuge on his body.

She was very slim, dressed in a white sundress and sandals that gave Jeff a good view of her slender white arms and legs, and the delicate fingers clutching his shirt in what seemed like fear. Dark brown hair was laid out over her body with various locks of black and an unnatural baby blue strewn throughout, but he thought nothing of that. It was pretty.

Wait, why was she running? Jeff looked up and saw a pack of angry Lillipup, evidently chasing after this girl. Why was she being chased? On that note, who was she? Soon enough, time slowed and the world slowed with it as Jeff began to ponder, What? He was snapped back to reality as the swarm of puppies came upon him and the girl he decided to protect. Jeff reached for his Pokéballs and threw them into the air.

Beauregard spammed ember at the horde as much as he could, while Rodrigo threw rocks at them (without actually using Rock Throw) and Windshear kicked as much sand up at them as she could, blinding them and causing them to trip over each other. While the horde was distracted Romanov waggled his fingers until he was overcome with inspiration and grabbed his face to stretch it into the most terrifying Scary Face imaginable. All the Lilipups ran either from fear or pain in short order, leaving Jeff and the girl alone with his Pokemon.

"So..." He started. "Care to explain, well...ANYTHI—" Jeff was interrupted yet again, as the girl outright clung to him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, she made contact with her bright pink eyes and gave him a kiss on the cheek before laying her chin on his shoulder. Jeff was about to shout that a hug wasn't an answer, but her following actions both silenced and humbled him. Before he realized it he put a hand on top of her head instead of questioning her more.

Before long though the questions weighed heavy on his mind, and Jeff sat up, getting the girl to sit in front of him. "You are alright aren't you? I know what it's like to be chased by a horde of angry pokemon, I'm glad I was here."

The girl didn't respond—at least not verbally. She just fidgeted with the hem of her dress and looked away from Jeff's eyes.

He wasn't sure what to think, so he just sat there for another minute, contemplating a lot of things, but mostly the strange girl. "So, um... would you at least tell me your name?"

The apparently mute girl brightened up a bit, rummaging into a pocket in her dress and pulling out a slip of paper and a pen. She wrote something on it and handed it to Jeff. For a moment, he had some incredible trouble reading it. It was either unintelligible or in a completely different langua—nope, nope, wait, it was upside-down. I... I got it now.


"So your name's Anko? Cute... Do you have anywhere you need to be Anko?" He tried to make his smile reassuring, but his confusion made it rather strange looking.

Anko seemed to blush a little from Jeff's compliment, but she quickly brushed it off and shook her head.

"Do you at least have a home to go to? It's not safe at night." Or during the day, as it appeared; especially considering the fluffy hordes of death that he'd just repelled.

Anko shook her head a second time, leaving Jeff to consider the implications of leaving this girl out on her own—she didn't even have any Pokémon with her!

"Huh... Well, would you like to come with me? I'm traveling around right now anyways, and it wouldn't be right just leaving you he—" AGAIN?

Jeff was tackled to the ground, Anko's arms wrapped around his neck with a relieved sigh. Well, she's definitely appreciative... I should probably find a place for us to spend the night. I don't think I should share a single tent with a girl I just met. And sleeping outside so she can have the tent doesn't sound so safe. Jeff stood up and offered his hand to Anko to pull her up as well. "Okay, let's go find us somewhere to sleep. There are probably tons of hotels in this city."
Sometimes all you need in life are the simple pleasures.

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Old January 16th, 2014 (6:52 PM).
DLMuerte DLMuerte is offline
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Seth: The Salesman
Mauville City; Tularosa Research Facility -> VS. Fawkes

"Let's get to selling our style, Florence!" And thus plopped- no, gracefully amazingly and with even more grace floated- a Floette. Seth opened his eyes wide before opening his Pokedex as well.

"It flutters around fields of flowers and cares for flowers that are starting to wilt. It draws out the hidden power of flowers to battle. When the flowers of a well-tended flower bed bloom, it appears and celebrates with an elegant dance."

Seth however, was completely aware that this wasn't exactly a legal battle, so a two on one would be a perfect remedy for the situation. "Go, Low, and Meloeira!" Then, realizing the second one wasn't exactly, erm... on his side, he began to repent. But the Cubchoo- which conveniently for the sake of convenience has been present the whole time, simply because Seth was convenient to be with to cater her own needs- still stepped onto the battlefield, clutching her Pokeball and grudgingly staring at the Floette. That flower... it disturbs me. And without a word, she unleashes a Powder Snow of epic proportions.

Low gets caught in the crossfire without warning, tumbling backwards and keeping afloat, but already a bit weathered. Watch where you throw your thing!

I ain't throwing no thing around! If anything, you are!

The Floette stays quiet as Low swoops in for a Peck, and even though it took a good bit of damage from the Powder Snow, it's now obvious that she's at a higher level than either of the other two fighters. So much so, that Fawkes seems completely unfazed by the fact that there's two other competing Pokemon against his Florence. So much so, that Seth is pretty sure he's verily screwed. Holding in a desperate cry, he watches his Pokemon attack the Floette- only to see her gracefully float to the side and leave Low quite literally in the dust. Meloeira seems unfazed and nearly uninterested at this point, simply sitting down and watching the battle unfold- which unfolds with the Floette using Dazzling Gleam.

And that, is enough. Meloeira shields her eyes to no avail, but thankfully- very thankfully- Low isn't looking. Meloeira sneers. Girl, the only one allowed to pull such a crappy ripoff of a Flash is me, and that ain't you!

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be you, regardless. The tiny Floette lets out a small "hmph" of disappointment.

Fawkes then yells with savage abandon, "Petal Blizzard!" This attracts the attention of oh-so-many spectators witnessing an even more savage attack on the opposing side. Low, who had finally begun to rise from the ground, tumbles backward and groans, extremely and very annoyed... and also, conveniently, sort of passing out. Well, not really passing out; more like resting.


More like... sleeping. Yes, that's more like it. And when sleeping... obviously, a Tailow can't do anything except let out a shallow Growl. Wait... a Growl? Like... the move?! What? Don’t tell me you’ve become like Jeff! That’s totes unoriginal! Uh... Shut up and proceed with your ponderances- you fool! ...Right. So regardless, if he's using moves in his sleep, that's a sure sign of a... that move... Sleep Talk! Of course! That changes everything! In that case... "Use Sleep Talk, Low!" ...But Low stays quiet.

Fawkes laughs. "Really? You can't demand that a sleeping Pokemon use Sleep Talk, it can't hear you ask for it! You think such a rookie move- or rather, mistake- will work against the great Fawkes?! I think not! Wake him up with Dazzling Gleam, Floette!"

Although it hits Meloeira well, as Petal Blizzard did, Low is unaffected. Seth grins. "Firstly, Low is a deep sleeper... and secondly, how can that affect him if he's closing his eyes?" At this point, Low uses Sleep Talk on it's own accord, Growling again. Floette's attack quickly diminishes and Meloeira, without a command, takes this chance for her own gain; the move Blizzard is used.

Take that, BEE-ATCH!

It's extremely effective, and it looks like it's about to take out Floette as well. But it doesn't, and even after a second Blizzard, it stays standing; Seth is extremely bothered. "How in the heck-"

"Stats, kid, it's all in the stats. Haven't you heard about them levels? This Floette, aha, it's levels above yours. Many. Although... it is in bad sha-"

"Damn right it is!" Seth yells. "Meloeira, Blizzard!" Meloeira swivels around with a look spelling "uh, how about no" all over her face. Seth cringes, already seeing that she wasn't helping at all. That's it. I'm wrecked. It's over.

Until Low, y'know, casually gets up, still sleeping, and uses a Brave Bird; right through Floette and continuing straight; a perfect usage of the Sleep Talk move. On it's own accord. Which is pretty cool. "YES! LOW YES THAT'S AMAZING!" This move simultaneously KO'd the Floette- which had been hit by a direct impact and was still moving because of Low not stopping right away- and both of them being slammed into a wall, KO'ing the offending Pokemon as well. But that wasn't important. What was more important was that Fawkes was kneeling over the Floette, almost on the verge of tears.

Which was really weird because y'know he's a salesman and he's an adult and adults don't cry. Really, a childish part of Seth's instinct kicked in combined with a bit of crafty thought. "Hey, err, Fawkes. Umm. Hey."

Fawkes glared at him. "This isn't over, I'll send out my next Pokemon after... I grieve a little... this is why I don't like battling...."

"So, I got a Revival Herb here." Keeping in mind what Fawkes told him, he grinned. "Look at these biological structures here, here, and here." Fawkes, in his state of grievance, watched Seth's hand carefully, while Seth looked at him with a bit of a smile. Already bagged. "So you see, what this means is practically catered for a Floette and it will revive it right away, as well as an energy boost- it'll be like it was energized like it was young again! Perfect structure. You know, it's the best kind of herb, and I'll give to you only for a very very very small price."

"How can I believe you?"

"My father is friends with a Pokemon Professor, and uh..." He pulls a diploma from out of his bookbag, as if it had been there the entire time. "I've finished a set of biology classes. That declare me an expert on the subject, obviously." He didn't care to explain the lack of his name, why where the name should be there was whiteout, or, for the sake of continuity, where it came from.

"...What's your price?"

"You call off the match, and stop chasing me down! And stop trying to kill me. But if you stop those two things, trust me, this thing is sold! I'm telling you, just think of the biology. 100% Seth recommended. 10 out of 5 stars. Totally."


"Make up your mind, or I might sell it to, uhm-" he pulls a woman to his side- "This lady. She's very interested. Definitely." He then whispered in her ear. "Go along with it." The woman nods semi-eagerly.

"Alright alright fine just give the damn thing to me already anddddd-" He healed his Pokemon quickly, and Seth grinned as Fawkes realized what he had just done. "Wait a second; did you just use my own strategy against me?!"


"Kid, I gotta give you this, you got potential. SERIOUS potential. Y'know, I'm a traveling salesman and all, so I gotta hand it to you, you're pretty good. Maybe should become a salesman, help me sell my wares and all. Travel! You wanna travel, don'tcha? C'mon, it'll be great!" He grabs him by the shoulder and points his finger out towards the sky. "It's a whole world of butthu- I mean amazingwondorousthings- out there, and they're all waiting for you! You know you want to. C'mon. Just think about it."

"...Well..." He looked at him. What the hell? That was too sudden of a mood change for anyone to muster. "Aren't you a salesman too?"


"...I'll think about it."

"Think about it right now."

"FINE FINE FINE I'll... uh... I'll be a traveling salesman." He shrugs. I don't have much else to do, anyways.

"Okay young Seth my boy, so first..." And thus Fawkes begins, in a Deus Ex Machina of sorts, to explain a long and tedious speech Seth may or may not remember. But an idea is forming in Seth's mind.

Maybe doing something like that... wouldn't be such a bad idea after all, huh?

homestuck fan club | astra story & ??? | the tatami galaxy
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Old January 16th, 2014 (7:13 PM). Edited January 16th, 2014 by Sephear.
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Sephear Sephear is offline
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Jeffery & Anko: Why does Jeff get all the girls? He doesn't even want them!

Our oh-so-manly hero walked the streets of Mauville with his new female companion at his side, looking all the while for a place they could spend the night.

Okay, as confusing as this place is, it's also huge and prosperous. It can't be too hard to find a hotel; there must be a million of 'em. And I should be able to afford it...but I can't afford two beds, I guess I'll just sleep on the floor.

The two had passed a casino, multiple restaurants and a street stalls that sold ice cream—at which Jeff only found it proper to treat Anko—before they managed to find a hotel. It was very unassuming on the outside. Jeff had actually missed it on their first pass.

"One night please," Jeff told the receptionist as he handed her the money for the room. As the young lady registered the key card he needed, Jeff took a short look around the lobby. It was more decorated than the "Mauville Nights" hotel sign outside, but it still seemed rather professional. Gray carpeting with a second, dark red carpet rolled over the floor leading to a small restaurant, the stairs and a pair of elevators. The lobby itself housed single three-cushion couch, a love-seat and an armchair with a coffee table between them all, along with a television mounted at the corner of the wall.

"Here you go," the receptionist continued, handing Jeff his key card. "Your room is 213, on the third floor. We hope you enjoy your stay." When she finished, she gave Jeff an odd wink and a smile, as if she were expectant of something that wasn't gratuity. He looked back to Anko, and she wasn't paying attention, seated firmly in the armchair and her gaze fixed on the television. It was the news, talking about a crazed Magikarp-wielding fighter who had gotten the better of Wattson and received a pardon for a variety of crimes that bordered ridiculousness.

"Anko, c'mon, I got a room." The bright-eyed girl took Jeff's hand and stood from the chair, closely following his lead to the elevator.

When they got off on the third floor, they were greeted by a housekeeper.

Okay, she was actually visibly annoyed. "Stop showing off," she uttered as she went about her business. "Damn kids, getting younger every year and what am I? Single and working at this place, that's what. The s%!& I've seen here's ruined me. Next thing I know I'm the crazy cat lady. Only the freaks would be into me then. No, not even the freaks..."

Jeff had no idea what to make of that. Still, he noticed how clean the diamond-patterned ruby red and pink carpets in the hallway looked. He also noticed that Anko was uncomfortable, looking at the floor and twiddling the hem of her dress between her fingers—the pissed-off housekeeper must have gotten to her, and Anko did nothing wrong! However, as parts of his mind screamed to chew the housekeeper out, the rest of his brain vetoed the bill and brought Anko to their room.

He fiddled with his pocket for a second before pulling the key card out and put it in upside down before flipping it and finally opening the door. At the sight of the room he stopped in the middle of opening the door and completely froze for a second, he could almost imagine his pupils contracting. "Ah....I...what kind of place is this?" Crap...why would this kind of hotel look so plain and unassuming on the outside? Is it one of those places people only go to if they already know about it? It's just one thing after another isn't it? Maybe if I close the door right now and go talk to the front desk lady I can get my money back and we can find somewhere more wholesome. No wonder that maid or whatever was so...grumbly.

"Anko, I think I may have misunderstood what kind of hotel this is. We should find somewhere else—and don't look in that room." He looked back into the hall, but there was no Anko. "Anko?"

Jeff opened the door to the room again, already finding the girl curled up and sleeping soundly in the king-sized, heart-shaped bed with the red sheets and fluffy scarlet comforter laid over her body. He sighed and leaned against the doorway for a minute before deciding to just let it go. She's probably exhausted after being chased by a horde of pokemon, and who knows what else happened before that. I probably wouldn't've gotten a refund anyways. He stepped inside and tried to ignore the many suggestive things in the room, took one of the pillows Anko wasn't using off of the bed and took it with him to the other end of the room.

"Still better than sleeping outside. Goodnight Anko, here's hoping you don't have any night terrors because Arceus knows I need this sleep." Jeff plopped down lazily into a chair in the corner, setting his bag on the floor and putting the pillow behind his head. He noticed the bottom of the chair being a bit flimsy, and with the flip of a switch the bottom popped out for him to rest his feet on.

One of the pokeballs on his belt twitched just a short while after he closed his eyes and Romanov burst out, somehow managing not to wake up his trainer or his trainer's new companion. He had had enough of being locked in that pokeball after so much time walking alongside his trainer, so he nestled himself right between Jeff's legs.

Zs, lots and LOTS of Zs were had, while grumbling maids shuffled around throughout the halls.

A blink, darkness, another blink, guess what? More darkness. One last little series of blinks, then steady light. A ceiling that was all too red, then a stretch, a yawn, and a surprise. Jeff stared at the room for a moment, noting that despite the kind of place it was he hadn't slept so good in a long time. This chair is really comfortable...but I feel heavier than usual. Warmer, too. For a fleeting moment the boy simply thought he had been extra lazy and not bothered to actually set aside his backpack, but he was wrong in the best of ways.

Then he actually opened his eyes. He looked down to his body and found both the large, fluffy blanket from the bed and another person on top of him. Anko curled up on him! Even worse, at that moment, she was ever-so-gently snuggling into his chest! Jeff felt his breath catch and his heart stop, and almost sat up with a start, but stopped himself with a reminder of his earlier thoughts. I said I wouldn't wake her up... Besides, I'm sure it's significantly more tame than what this hotel is used to.

Jeff started thinking about how comfortable it was like this. Before he even knew what he was doing he had a hand over Anko's waist and the other at her shoulder, and pulled her in a bit tighter as he drifted off to sleep again, surprisingly deeper this time.
Sometimes all you need in life are the simple pleasures.

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Old January 25th, 2014 (8:43 PM).
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Fuyu Fuyu is online now
I'm still a tamer. I have my pride!
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(I seriously think I'm not random enough for this roleplay. Oh well!)

Noelani-A Slowpoke With No Tail


Welcome back to Noelani's journey of failing to get a water Pokemon! I mean- wait, wrong channel.

Well, it's an accurate summation at any rate.

Noelani has lagged behind the others since this journey of heroism and brilliancy began! Why? Because she pretty much stopped to stare at anything she could stare at and Zeus pretty much flared up at anything that went within a foot of his tail. He also then proceeded to beat them with it, leaving a lot of unconscious Pokemon after them like a trail marker. Not that this meant much, since it also ended with Zeus having a swollen tail and really, really fluffy fur from shocking everything but at least he got stronger during it. Maybe. Or he got angrier.

I personally assume the latter because Noelani didn't stop laughing the entire time. Or because he's not chasing down a furry red dog... who Lani named Clifford. Said Growlithe is now bolting down Mauville streets and laughing like an insane little doggy because is very fun to make a mouse mad.

Particularly Zeus.

Said Zeus was chasing her new catch around like he had nothing better to do with this life barring a very brutal beatdown of Clifford. Not that Lani actually thought he could do it, since both Pokemon were exhausted as it was because she hadn't even had the chance to get to a Pokemon Center becase of how distracted she had been.

So, eventually, wanting to get something done (aside from a gym battle because two Pokemon did not a good fight make, especially with her feet feeling so heavy), she decided to go searching. Which didn't go well because she lacked a GPS and anything remotely familiar to her being able to navigate anything and her Pokemon being next to useless. (She ended up dragging them both around by their tails because she knew actually getting either of them to go in the Pokeballs in their various states of joy was like asking her to sit still without her father's explicit and cheerfully worded order, usually because she had been spinning too fast on the diner stools again.

Speaking of which, that sounded rather fun. She should do that again sometime.

But first... sleep, rest, kicking shoes at the ceiling, letting her Pokemon pass out.

She returned them now because Zeus was squeaking what she assumed were curse words. She thought they were anyway, because her dad's Raichu had once made similar noises when he got mad. Hahaha!

She managed to get to the Pokemon Center and hold up her Pokeballs to the nurse! “Hi~ Healing please! And where's a store? And a hotel? And...” she paused, then grinned. “I forget!”

The woman gaped at her briefly before silently taking her Pokemon away, leaving Noel to cheerfully stare at the television. Ooh, gym fights. She really wasn't that interested in fighting right now. She probably couldn't punch too much right now and she bet the nurse looked at her funny because of how messed up she looked from all of her adventures. Slightly ripped clothes, scratches everywhere, messed up hair...

As far as Noelani was concerned, she had never looked better.

Getting her Pokemon back, the woman directed her to a nearby, cheap motel, which she skipped off to without much delay. She wasn't hungry, hardly ever was after an adventure. She needed sleep, which, after releasing her Pokemon, daylight or no daylight, she proceeded to get. She didn't even realize that Clifford and Zeus were so tired they actually laid near her, Zeus on her pillow so he could keep safe his precious tail.

(I will go into details about the capture of Growlithe later, which I think was obtainable before Mauville. For now, I needed a post.)
"Perhaps I misjudged you after all."

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Old January 26th, 2014 (2:47 AM).
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Dansparce Dansparce is offline
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Mia Farrow – Back in… velvet?

The terrible twins were stunned by what had just happened. After spending all those years training in the mountains of Sinnoh, they were beaten by some random girl? Some random, happily hopping girl? Oh how they have shamed the holy name of Joey; would they ever be able to show their faces at Joey-con again? Joette nearly cried at the mere thought of it. “Theo…” She depressingly said, “Did… Did we lose the battle?” Her brother froze in his feet. He imagined all of the horrible things she would do to him, like cut the heads off of all his official Youngster Joeytm action figures. “Well sis I… Uh… Yeah. We lost.” Theo trembled, preparing his body for the abuse that will follow.

Joette slowly shuffled towards her brother. The boy prematurely flinched, closing his eyes out of fear. Theo felt arms rest around his stomach. “Oh Arceus.” He thought, “She’s going to squeeze me to death.” Strangely, no such thing happened. Instead, the boy received a hug. He flashed his eyes open out of confusion; he expected to be murdered, not embraced by his now crying sister. Whilst the twins bonded through loss, Mia stood over the not so deep pool. She was... busy watching a much stranger event. For whatever reason, Chell had wrapped her tentacles around Vincent’s brown fish body, as he swam around gleefully.

Mia quickly rubbed her eyes before holding out Vincent’s Pokéball. “Alright, I’ve seen enough of this. Vincent, return.” A red flash escaped from the Pokéball, enveloping one of the two fish in its light. It then zapped back into its source, taking the Feebas with it. As soon as he was gone, Chell snapped out of whatever trance she was in. She bobbed around slightly dazed, before slowly making her way towards her trainer. “Wow... You must be really tired.” Mia muttered, pushing the Chinchou’s Pokéball out in front of her.

After reclaiming her Pokemon she walked over to where the Joeys were hugging, interrupting their little moment. “Ahem...” She held her hand out in front of the two, twitching it upwards after they had noticed it. The two instinctively knew what to do. Digging deeply into their pockets, Theo and ‘Joette’ dropped a few coins into her hand. Mia’s eyes quickly counted the money, but were disappointed when they were given a shake of the head. “That’s only 100 Poké...” She muttered, but was quickly interrupted. “It’s not our fault that unfair place made us lose most of our money.” Theo snappily replied, reminding Mia that they had been in the casino.

She wondered how they had managed to get in their in the first place. Their disguise and acting ability were both atrocious, so they couldn’t have gotten in through the front door. “How about I make a deal with you.” Mia smiled. “I’ll give you your 100 Poké back if you tell me how you got into the Casino.” Already back to her normal personality, Joette immediately snatched the coins back out of Mia’s hands. “You want to get in, ay?” The female Joey smirked, placing the money into her pocket. “What? There’s no way I want to go inside and win a bunch of money so I can launch a proper search for my...” Mia babbled, stopping when she realised that she was making things blatantly obvious. But before she could repeat what she was saying, Joette began detailing how they infiltrated such a lavish establishment.

10 minutes later...

Contempt with the information she had been given, Mia felt ready to break into the casino. “Thanks a lot for your help, but I think it’d be smart for you two to run home now.” She smiled, almost threateningly. Her head turned to face her entrance point, a medium sized air vent on the side of the building. Unfortunately, from what she could tell, was that the thing was shut. Breaking it open without attracting the attention of the bouncer would be impossible without a distraction. Just as the two twins were about to leave, Mia called out to them. “Actually, there’s something else I need your help with.” When neither of the two seemed happy about helping her, she added an incentive to do so. “I’ll pay you!” Faster than what could possibly be described, Joette seemingly materialised in front of Mia. “So what do you want us to do?” She asked, forcing a not as interested Theo to assist.

“All you need to do is annoy that bouncer for a while, alright? I don’t care how you do so; just make sure he doesn’t notice me.” A smirk was plastered across Joette’s face, causing Mia to worry. The girl hadn’t figured out her motive, had she? Hoping that it was just at the thought of annoying someone, Mia finished her request. “Start whenever you’re ready, but try not make it too obvious that you’re distracting him.” Seconds after Mia had finished speaking, the twins had vanished and appeared over at the Casino’s front door. “Mr, why’d you kick us out?” Theo asked. The bouncer didn’t give either of the children a second look, prompting Joette to be thrown into a blind rage. “HEY!” She shouted, grabbing onto the poor man’s shoulder and pulling him down to their level. “WHY WON’T YOU RESPOND TO MY BROTHER? IS HE NOT WORTHY OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT?”

As she snuck around the centrepiece, Mia wondered if the girl she had enlisted the help of was actually crazy. If the girl had taken it any further than pulling the man’s head down, all three of them could’ve been in serious trouble. Luckily, Joette managed to not rip the bouncer’s head off, just make him wish it was. As soon as Mia reached the air vent she attempted to pull it open, but unfortunately the door was bolted shut. It didn’t take long for her to think of a way in, but the only problem would be getting the fish to comply. She reached into her bag’s pocket, pulling out her two Pokéballs. “Vincent, I’m going to need your help with this. When you get out, use tackle on the steel gate keeping us from our destination!” Mia commanded, releasing the fish Pokémon into her arms. As usual, Mia nearly collapsed under his weight, but managed to stay up thanks to SHEER WILLPOWER! Unfortunately, Vincent looked incredibly unpleased due to being forced into fighting a steel wall, gesturing with one of his fins for the girl to do it instead.

“I can’t break through a steel door... and I’m your master, so hurry up and use tackle.” Mia... worded her sentence poorly. As soon as she had finished speaking, the fish bounced off of her hands and onto her face, causing both of them to fall to the ground. “Oh you...” Barely managing to contain her rage, Mia had an epiphany. If she couldn’t command the fish to tackle the wall, maybe she could manipulate him into doing so. Quickly picking herself up and standing in front of the vent, Mia commanded Vincent once more. “Vincent! Use tackle or so help me Arceus, I will rip your still beating heart from your fishy body.” Without a moment’s hesitation, the fish acted like expected.

“CRASH!” The steel door had been punched straight through by the Feebas, due to Mia hopping out of the way at the right time. Angry that he had been tricked into doing her bidding, Vincent prepared to charge Mia a third time. He was stopped by a well-timed recollection from the girl. Triumphant, Mia climbed into the vent like she had planned to. The next step of what she likes to call operation G.A.M.B.L.E (Gamble All (her) Money; Buy Lots (of) Everything), was to get into the main gambling room. Only problem, she had no idea how she’d be able to escape the vents unnoticed.

After crawling through the vast network of vents, Mia found an empty room, which she assumed to be the waitress’ changing rooms. Not only was it empty, but it might contain a disguise for her to travel the casino more covertly. However, while Mia was preparing to smash the grate open, a woman who appeared to be slightly older than herself walked into the room. Unfortunately, Mia failed to notice her. Even more unfortunately, when Mia opened the grate, the waitress happened to be standing underneath it. The unlucky waitress’ head was hit by the grate with a loud “THUNK” and brief yelp. Mia poked her head out from the hole where the steel once was, only to be shocked when she saw an unconscious woman lying still.

She immediately hopped out from the vents and checked to make sure the waitress was still breathing. A sigh of relief left Mia’s mouth once she realised that the woman was alive. Just before Mia was about to try wake the girl, she realised that this could be a perfect opportunity for her to acquire a uniform. It’s not like the waitress would need it for a while, and she’d be fine lying here by herself. So, without so much as thinking about how what she’d be doing could be taken the wrong way, Mia began to strip the woman of her velvet black dress, leaving only her undergarments behind. She then proceeded to lift the woman up and move her onto a conveniently placed couch, before finally getting dressed into the woman’s dress. Placing all of her clothes in side of her green duffel bag, Mia marched out of the changing rooms and into the hallway, where she was witness to a peculiar sight.

Roughly twenty police officers, each with the exact same hair, face and voice stood around a single door. “MCPD OPEN UP!” One of the Jennys shouted, pounding a hand vigorously against a room’s door. For whatever reason, she needed to get into that door, but it appeared to be locked up tight. From the inside, a voice asked the legion of Jenny’s. “Can’t a guy get some privacy?” The man shouted, before suspiciously humming incredibly loudly. This caused the policewomen to bombard the door with their bodies, eventually breaking through the door. Mia had no idea what to do or say, so she just slid past the events and acted like nothing insane just happened.

After 10 minutes of wandering the halls of the casino, Mia finally made it to the main event. The large and grand gambling room. Chandeliers and fancy people were in no short supply in this room, while fountains and flowers were also scattered around the place. But most importantly, all the different ways to win and lose money. They had roulette run by a Spinda, Clefairy themed slots, ‘Poker-mon’; the list goes on and on. Mia nearly lost her mind due to how much stuff there was. She began to close in on the Poker-mon tables, figuring that the game would be easy to win. But while she was on her way there, someone waved towards her and held up a glass. “Hey, lady. Can ya fetch me and my buddies a drink?” The man asked, followed by a cheer from the rest of his table.

In this situation, Mia had no idea how to react. So she said the first thing that came to mind. “Coming right up.” Her mouth cheerily obliged. Instead of walking to her destination, Mia went to the nearest bar. Words continue to form from the incoherent babbling of her mind, prompting the bartender to hand her 4 glasses of beer. Mia’s mind did what her mouth commanded, so she quickly found herself at the same table she had been called to earlier. “Here’s your drinks, boys.” Her mouth continued to yap. Was she even in control of her speech anymore? It didn’t take long for her to be dragged off to the next table by her mouth, then the next table... and then the next table... and then the next table.

She began to forget why she came into the casino in the first place.

A very fancy looking man began to approach her. ‘Was he going to order a drink? Or maybe some of our delicious selection of cheeses?’ Mia thought, truly believing that she worked for the place. “How may I-” Strangely, this man immediately interrupted her, demanding that they go to the front door of the casino. ‘Maybe the man needed some help with his luggage; after all, the casino had some pretty fantastic rooms available for our guests.’ The man stopped in front of the wide open doors, before turning to face her. “You may be a fantastic waitress, but you most certainly do not work here.” He said, in a very posh voice. This sentence finally reminded Mia that she was not a waitress, but a Pokémon trainer with a mission. “You are hereby banned from this establishment until we receive a formal apology. Now leave, before I call the Jennys to force you out.” As soon as she stepped outside of the building, the door was shut behind her.

When she turned away from the casino, Mia realised how big of an idiot she was. She blew her chances of making enough money to create a proper search party for her brother. That said, she did earn a couple thousand Poké in tips. As she walked down the steps, Mia scanned for the two Joey twins, although they were nowhere to be found. She noticed that it had mysteriously become night-time. How long was she in that casino for? Sighing, Mia started to walk down the city’s streets. She needed a place to stay, but It was too late to wander to her house and sleep there. So Mia settled for asking where a nice, cheap hotel was at the nearest Pokémon centre.

ITEM RETRIEVED: 1x Waitress’ dress.
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