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  #26    
Old December 12th, 2013, 05:09 AM
Dualik's Avatar
Dualik
Eloquent Trainer
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Reply hazy. Try again later.
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Dillon1102 you are still rejected for the time being. I didn't ask you to redo your personality or anything like that, I asked you to make it longer and you haven't. You should also really consider taking your history and maybe making it into two paragraphs. Not only does this look better, it makes it less tiring for me to read. Please take these points into consideration should you make a third attempt.

Kranic I am happy to say that you are accepted. I'm quite impressed with your revamped SU and I like your character alot. Well done.

With my own character now also completed we have a roster of seven character at the ready. I feel this is an acceptable amount and as such I will be submitting the IC thread today. If you have a character currently reserved that you are working on then do not fret. You still have plenty of time.

Also SU's will remain OPEN for the majority of the stories beginning up until a certain point which I will decide upon. So if anyone reading this is still thinking of signing up or if anybody knows anybody else who may or may not be thinking of signing up. Then I assure you there's an abundance of time left for that.

Edit: The IC thread has been submitted everyone! When it is up, I will make the first IC post and explain here in the OOC what everyone should be doing, at which point you may begin posting IC. ^-^
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Last edited by Dualik; December 12th, 2013 at 05:25 AM.
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  #27    
Old December 12th, 2013, 08:48 AM
Dillon1102
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Johto
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Nature: Careful
Actually I did make my personality longer it went from 97 words to 179 which makes my personality 2 words more than sylveonstar and only a few words behind Kranic around 15 I think. Darkmoonphase he personality is 176 words 3 words behind me and you accepted her so saying mine needs to be longer is kinda arrogant.
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Last edited by Dillon1102; December 12th, 2013 at 09:06 AM.
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  #28    
Old December 12th, 2013, 10:23 AM
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Dualik
Eloquent Trainer
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Reply hazy. Try again later.
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Dillon1102 my apologies. It looked shorter than I originally thought. However this was not the only reason for your rejection, just the most relevant one in my eyes. Allow me to explain to you then, exactly what I disliked about your SU.

Before I begin I'd like to also say you have no right to be making personal remarks on how you feel my comments came across. If you thought I acted "arrogant" then I must apologise for your own ignorant assumptions, as I was in no way expressing arrogance.

While I'm at it I should probably also mention that other players SU's have nothing to do with yours. DarkMoonPhase specifically has special circumstances and has already PM'd me outside of this thread and we reached a compromise as a result. Thus she has a bit of leeway.

Now then, with that out of the way... your Su's explanation.

I really didn't want to mention this part as it didn't seem fair at the time but the more I think about it the more I realise that it is entirely relevant to the situation as you obviously need further explanation for your rejection. What is this delicate fact I have neglected to mention to my own fault? It is that I was slightly harsher with your SU's judging as, much to both of our dismay I'm sure, it simply is not written as eloquently or generally well as a large majority of the others, being riddled with small grammatical mistakes and the misuse of one or two words.

Also unlike most others, your history is in desperate need of some fleshing out. There is only one king yet you refer to him as "a" king in your SU, you never specify where your character actually lived before receiving a letter in a small woodland settlement? The main city of Hearthome? etc. etc.

To finish up, even if your characters personality is up to par in terms of length, I should probably mention that your pokémons is not, I asked for one decently sized paragraph. Not a single line.

Now then, if it sounds like I'm being harsh then it's because I am. I was willing to let most of those problems slide under the carpet, I was not even going to mention them, instead deciding to give you a chance and allow you to lengthen and further flesh out the SU as a whole. That is why I said it was too short.

Please don't get me wrong mind you, this is in no way a personal attack, but you were clearly not satisfied with the reasoning I gave you for your rejection, so to make this easier on both of us I decided to list out all of the problems relating to your SU here and now. Thus this post came into existence.

Also despite the fact you decided to call me arrogant for turning you down I am not a bitter nor a spiteful person. I'm still willing to give you a chance for acceptance into the RP. As it shouldn't be too difficult to sort your SU out now that you know most everything that is wrong with it.

However until you do as much, I'm afraid my original decision remains in place. You are, for the time being, still rejected. No hard feelings or ill wishes intended in case you thought I was expressing any. I am aware that it can be difficult to understand ones tone through text alone.
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  #29    
Old December 13th, 2013, 04:11 PM
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SylveonStar
Sylveon
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Nature: Lonely
I can finish my sign up on Sunday, can't get to a computer til then and I'm afraid if I finish it on my 3DS it won't be good enough in detail.
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  #30    
Old December 15th, 2013, 11:06 AM
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DarkMoonPhase
The Lunar Beauty
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Hidden In The RP Corner
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Nature: Gentle
Send a message via Yahoo to DarkMoonPhase Send a message via Skype™ to DarkMoonPhase
Now that the IC is accepted, I'd like to ask how you suggest we start?
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  #31    
Old December 16th, 2013, 05:57 AM
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Dualik
Eloquent Trainer
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Reply hazy. Try again later.
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
SylveonStar your characters reservation is pending, as you seemed to be having trouble reaching a computer... I will continue to wait for you. However it is now Monday and your SU remains unfinished.

I am pleased to announce to everyone that you may now begin posting!

To help you with your first post and to keep us on track I ask that you please follow these guidelines;

1: Your character has now, through whatever means necessary, been brought to the Singard throne room. Your first post must be primarily located here.

2: You will be escorted into and through the throne room by two armed guards alongside your pokémon, if your character has a weapon then know that this WEAPON has been confiscated for safety reasons within the castle, it will be returned to your character very soon however so do not fret. If your character is a MAGIC user then there hands have been tied in an attempt to prevent them from using their abilities effectively, these bonds will be removed along with the weapons being returned when that happens.

3: You have creative freedom in terms of how your character is brought before the queen, be it politely, arrogantly, rudely, calmly or even kicking and screaming. But remember, your character MUST be in the throne room by the end of the post, they MUST be presented before the queen, they MUST be escorted by two armed guards and they MUST be brought to their knees before the queen by the posts end.

4: Once your character has arrived you may not post until the story progresses more. The story will progress once all (or most) of the player characters have arrived in the throne room.

5: I understand that weapon confiscation and strict procedures about posting may seem restrictive or linear but I assure you this is only for our little introductory phase in the throne room. Once the story progresses more, all weapons will be returned, all hands will be unbound and you as players will have creative freedom to be more inventive with your posts (in essence unbinding your hands aswell as your characters). So trust me, if these first few posts seem a bit linear, then you have my word that the possibilities for your character are going to be opening up very soon.

If you're still unclear about how your first post should work then you can use my first post as Ariana Kaizu Rowan as a guide line.

I look forward to reading what you all write.
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  #32    
Old December 16th, 2013, 04:58 PM
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SylveonStar
Sylveon
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Nature: Lonely
Sorry about the wait, my sign up is done
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  #33    
Old December 20th, 2013, 01:00 AM
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Dualik
Eloquent Trainer
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Reply hazy. Try again later.
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
SylveonStar my sincerest apologies for not seeing this sooner. I've been very sidetracked lately to no fault but my own. You are of course, accepted.

I will be progressing the story tomorrow everyone, so if your character has not yet made their opening post then I will issue you a warning by PM. If two days pass and I still see no attempt at a post or explanation for your lack of posting... then I will have to take drastic measures. I'm being lenient here, but I won't wait forever.
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  #34    
Old December 20th, 2013, 06:29 AM
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Garet
GhostFire
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: ...And I Dance
Gender: Male
Hello, again. I'd like to say that I just finished my SU, and thank you for not dropping my reservation after the three-day mark.
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  #35    
Old December 20th, 2013, 10:49 AM
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Veevee
Lucario's Sword
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: U.S.A.
Gender: Male
Nature: Brave
Sorry I haven't posted yet, but I really need to finish my SU for Monster Art Online. Once I have that finished (should be today) I'll post.
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  #36    
Old December 20th, 2013, 12:22 PM
Dualik's Avatar
Dualik
Eloquent Trainer
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Reply hazy. Try again later.
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Garet you are accepted! Welcome to the RP.

Black Ninetales, with Christmas just around the corner and considering that almost everyone has multiple projects going on... it's perfectly understandable if you are busy. If you feel you're taking a little longer to write your post for whatever reason, (even if it's writers block or simple lack of motivation) then I ask that you inform me OOC, like you have just done.

That same message is extended to everyone, if you're having trouble putting a post together then I won't be annoyed as long as you discuss it with me openly. We all have those days where we can't find any motivation to write a post and get it posted (and coded if you're into that). However in my opinion it's rarely a lack of fast paced activity that kills RPs, but more a lack of interest and communication. That's why it is my top policy and priority that all of you inform me if you have any problems, ideas or suggestions regarding any and all aspects of the RP.

I am nothing if not reasonable.
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  #37    
Old December 21st, 2013, 05:49 AM
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Garet
GhostFire
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: ...And I Dance
Gender: Male
All right, thanks! Looking forward to this roleplay.
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  #38    
Old December 21st, 2013, 12:12 PM
Dualik's Avatar
Dualik
Eloquent Trainer
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Reply hazy. Try again later.
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Alright everyone, the first "Major Plot Post" has been created and posted.

Apologies, if there are a few grammatical and or spelling mistakes. I am tired and it was quite a lengthy post.

I've seen a few issues that may arise due to the course this post has taken, so make sure to read this spoiler once you have read the plot post itself:

Spoiler:

1: If your character has not yet arrived at the throne room, then they will arrive in the middle of the current chaos. They can approach and attack the Zubat and Golbat swarm from behind if they wish, it is also worth mentioning that they most likely have already had their weapon confiscated / hands tied when they arrive on the scene.

2: On a related matter, if you can find some way to get your hand ties off, or maybe if you could somehow get your hands on a weapon of some description... then I can hardly stop you from doing that now can I?
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  #39    
Old December 21st, 2013, 03:57 PM
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SylveonStar
Sylveon
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Nature: Lonely
I will be posting tomorrow since I get a break from Christmas preparations

Edit: since my character communicates with her hands is it alright if her hands are untied
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  #40    
Old December 24th, 2013, 04:13 PM
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Greiger
A mad mind... hehe
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: A water pond, duh!
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Nature: Serious
Eh, sorry about the time to get a post up, but busy with Christmas on this side. Haven't had the time.
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  #41    
Old December 28th, 2013, 02:36 PM
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Garet
GhostFire
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: ...And I Dance
Gender: Male
Hey, everyone. Sorry for not getting a post up sooner, I'll work on checking in more often.
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  #42    
Old December 31st, 2013, 08:56 AM
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waningGrimalkin
Level 5 Spin Ninja
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: The North
Gender: Female
Nature: Relaxed
Name:

Duvai Trociam Melsoca
Nickname:

Your boss calls you Duvi.
Age:

14
Gender:

Female
Appearance:


You have short, messy brown hair that sticks to your face. You have 2 sets of cloths: a dark red tunic with pants of the same material, and a dress that is light red with light brown pants. You have a leather belt that you wear with both, a prefer the tunic. You have 2 different shoes, one comprise of a sack and straps, the other of some kind of leather. Also, a knife hangs at your side, along with some pouches for money and berries, and some rope. You carry at knapsack that holds Lar on a long stick. Lar sits in the knapsack, as you don't really like it when he rides on your head, and his legs are too short to have him walk along side you. Your eyes are brown.
Personality:
You are a total an utter natural coward. Pokemon scare the crap out of you. Well, Lar doesn't, but Lar couldn't scare a Rattata. You also have really over-the top reactions, so you're told. But that's just because most things deserve an over-the-top reaction! A narrow bridge?!? A piece of uneaten, probably diesease harboring meat?!? A horrible gigantic death beast!?! (*coughcoughpokemoncoughcough*) You're probably this way because it's one of the only ways to get Lar from walking to close to the edge of the bridge, eating that piece of meat, or going up and biting that pokemon.
You are a pessimist. It's kinda hard not to be, after your life was destroyed. You've been told that you are a downer to be around, well, when you've been with other kids. Most of the time they just ignored you, pretended like you didn't exist. It was weird that you had a pokemon. So, you're pretty antisocial. You aren't really all that good at talking to people. However, you're really good at getting stuff done. It's just so satisfying. Working is something you can do without talking to people. Plus, Lar is actually pretty good at helping and following directions. He once lifted this GIANT box that you couldn't! It kinda scared you, but it was also kinda amazing! Anyway, yeah. You like to work.
One final thing people tell you is that you get angry real fast. That's if something threatens you or Lar. It's so they can't see how scared you are. So, you gotta be angry.


History:

When you were 7, pokemon destroyed your life.
You were down getting water from the creek. Then you saw 2 giant pokemon, colors as brilliant as flowers, battling. Although you didn't know it at the time, they were a Salamence and a Tyranatar. Apparently they were fighting over the young or something, it wasn't really clear. Nothing about that day was really clear to you. The river ran through a small gulley, in a forest. You saw a group of young pokemon, Lavitar, run past you above. One, probably curious, stopped to look at you. One of the others bumped into it, sending the poor thing down the hill. It came to a stop a few feet in front of you, sat up, and started crying. You picked it up and fed it a berry. It smiled. You put it in your bag where it promptly fell asleep.
Then your dad ran along. He was a hunter, who got food for the city. He picked you up, and continued running. You think you might have asked him what was going on several times, but you don't think he answered.
The creek, and your house, was a 3 minuete run from the city. Dad set you on a bench outside the city and told you to wait there for him. He was going to get mom. Mom wanted to study the human in pokemon. A pokemon sympathizer. Dad ran off into the woods. The Larvitar climbed out of your bag and poked at your face.
Dad didn't come back.
You're not really sure how long you sat there for. The Larvitar stayed by your side, though. When he got hungry, he started eat the bench. After a while, it looked like he was worried. He ran off into the forest. You thought he had left, but he returned. With berries. Next thing you knew, you and the Larvitar were staring at the orphanage. Some good sumanitarian had dragged you there. You walked in.
When you were 9, you tried to release Lar. The social shunning and the stress of caring for him became to much for you. So, you walked outside the gates and left him there. You couldn't help but think of him all day, though. You saw a Rattata, and you almost yelled for Lar to leave it alone. Lar had become par of your daily balance. So, at the end of the day, you ran back outside the gates. He was sitting on the bench, crying. The same bench Dad had left you on.
When you turned 12, you got a job at a botany. The orphanage still gave you food, but required that you tried to get a job. So, you lifted, watered, and fed plants all day, and still do. It's a fairly good job. Lar likes he plants, and, THANKFULLY, understands that they are not to be eaten. You also get a good discount on berries.
A few moths ago, you turned 14. You've been pretty happy, housed in the orphanage, given good food by the botanist. However, when you turn 15, you get kicked out of the orphanage. You think that you could join the army, but you don't know if it would be good for Lar...
Pokémon Species:
Larvitar
Pokémons Level:

15. It took forever for him to get that strong!((Though, I'd rather be level 12. My character is supposed to be fairly weak.))
Pokémons Moves:
Bite(start) Sandstorm(5) Chip Away(14, so if it's okay to be Level 12, no) Ancient Power(Egg)
Pokémons Personality:

Lar is so cheerfull it bothers you. He's almost constantly smiling, that is, when he's not crying. He has
almost no pain tolerance, so if he gets hit, falls, or bumps into something hard, he starts crying. However, if you feed him a berry, he stops. That's good. He used to cry even more, but now he cries less. It's not unusual for him to go from wailing his eyes out to grinning in a matter of seconds. He also like to chew on stuff. You're pretty sure he's like some kind of uber omnivore! He ate some a rat once, then some weird leaves, then the ground! Lars is also very curious. You're really pretty sure he's gonna die some day because of that... however, he makes you more brave with all the suicidal stuff he does, or try out things you wouldn't have. In return, you keep him alive. He also falls asleep a lot. That's probably because he's still pretty young.
Weapon:

You have... a knife. And a stick. And a piece of string. SPEAR POWER!!!!
Magic:

As she is very weak and will probably lose her weapon somewhere, she may learn some magic. But for now, she doesn't know it exists and would probably find someone who knows it TERRIFYING. But then again, she finds the vast majority of people in general terrifying.
Password:

Pokemon and the past is fun!
Other:
You started calling the Larvitar Lar, as a short version screamed when he was about to do something dangerous. It became his name. What?!? You were 7, 7 year olds don't make good nicknames!
Also, is it okay if I write in 2nd person? It's more natural for me that way. Also, yay first post!
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Last edited by waningGrimalkin; December 31st, 2013 at 01:03 PM.
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  #43    
Old January 5th, 2014, 12:51 PM
Dualik's Avatar
Dualik
Eloquent Trainer
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Reply hazy. Try again later.
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
I'd like to make a formal apology to everyone... but I'm going to have to close this RP.

Two thirds of the original candidates have kept up while the rest have not and to be honest the original idea I had for this RP has felt less and less plausible in my mind the more I have thought about it. I didn't really plan it well enough in advance to make it a success of an RP and I have nowhere to go with it.

If that wasn't enough, I've been getting busier and busier lately. With work, things I do for charity and projects for school piling up on top of each other almost to the point where I can't really keep track of it all.

To be honest, the ever looming status of it has become a bit of a burden on my shoulders and to be honest I just decided to let it slip because of that. I'm really just not ready to be a GM... and as such I was trying to just let this die peacefully hoping nobody would really be too bothered by it.

I must apologize... I understand that what I'm saying is selfish and that I shouldn't have started this in the first place. But my own determination and excitement blinded me to my own lacking time and ability to be a good GM.

So in short... I think this is the end of Hollow Shadow. Perhaps I'll try to reboot it one day, when I have enough time and determination to see it through.

I'm also sorry for ranting about all of this to you. But it was either this or say nothing and keeping you guys waiting any longer would have been wrong... as such you can now officially consider this RP at a premature end.

Thank you all for showing any interest during this projects fairly short lifespan and, as I said, I may reboot it some day.
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  #44    
Old January 6th, 2014, 01:31 PM
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Kranic
What did you say about my hair
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Gender: Male
It's sad to see the roleplay go, but I understand where you're coming from and I'm happy your giving us a clear goodbye. It's pretty sad how many roleplays die without a word from anyone.

Good luck with your future endeavors!
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