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  #1    
Old April 4th, 2005, 08:30 PM
LoveLy MiSha's Avatar
LoveLy MiSha
~Everfalling Sakura~
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: with Syaoran, of course
Age: 23
Gender:
Nature: Naive

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Whee!~ I finally finished my Advanceshipping fanfic. This fic was really for Valentine's Day, but I was too busy to write it then. ; This is my first one-shot, and my second fanfic(well...sort of) I've ever written. I hope I didn't make too many mistakes, forgive me if I did. Oh, and it's rated PG. Enjoy!~ ^-^

A Chocolate Heart
Bring!!!
The school bell rang loudly throughout the walls and doors of the entire school. The noise of students packing up and teachers shouting out last minute homework instructions was surrounded within the borders of the school.

A freshman ambled across the busy halls in the course of her next class. The young teen was undoubtedly lovely, striking with her mesmerizing eyes, silky brunette hair, and luscious lips just anticipating to be kissed; but alas, these lips had never come in contact with another. Boys have attempted and beseeched, most of them adolescent; but the young girl would not permit them to do so. This teenager, whose name was May, would only allow one person to do this: Ash Ketchum. The only question waswould he respond in her favor?

The following day was Valentines Day. This was Mays chance, but what could she do? She had thought about it the entire day, coming up with both the traditional and original ideas. Nonetheless, it was a complex decision. May entered her next class, home economics, hoping to cook up new suggestions.

May came in her classroom, which was magnificently beautiful and colorful. Mrs. Tachibana, the teacher in charge of the class, was enjoyably outgoing and loved to color coordinate her classroom every now and then. At the moment, the room was brilliantly decorated in purple and pink, which Mrs. Tachibana insisted they were actually a deep orchid and a vivacious bubblegum color. Streamers, banners, and posters of purple and pink patterns and textures encircled the room. The classroom itself was extensive; yet despite its size, it was not very spacious. Large cabinets, voluminous desks, miniature tables, and various other materials were filled inside.

May silently made her way to her desk, where her best friend greeted her.

Hi May! Melody waved and motioned her to sit down beside her. What's up?

May positioned herself comfortably in her chair. Oh, well, notnot that much, she answered with disquietude.

Melody studied May for a moment. Look May, dont you know by now that I can see there is something going on with you?

May grinned and nodded shamefully. You got me again, Mel.

Melody smiled and poked her. So whats up?

Well, you know tomorrow is Valentines Day so May flushed and stopped, but Melody already knew what May was thinking.

Oh my, May! What are you going to give Ash?

Um, II dont know yet, May blushed a rosy red. I havent decided up till now.

Well, I am sure you will think of something spectacular, Melody placed her hand on Mays shoulder. But you had better think fast, because you know you are not the only one going after Ash.

Thats true May considered. Ash was a popular guy at the school, and many girls chased after him.

Id offer you suggestions, but Im pretty sure that but now you had thought of all the ideas I could think up and more. Melody winked.

May smirked at her as the teacher made her way to the front of the classroom, signaling that class was to begin. Mrs. Tachibana wore a dress with purple and pink swirls decorated everywhere. She also had matching shoes and jewelry to go with her look. In other words, the teachers outfit was a bit too ornate. To May, it always seemed as if color coordinating was an obsession of Mrs. Tachibanas.

Now class, today we will start to cook. For a quiz grade, I want you to bake, cook, fry, anything you want to make and present it to me so that I may taste it. You may create anything, as long as it is edible, like maybe something like an old family recipe, a unique dish you eat at home, something from my many cookbooks, or an experiment youre willing to try. Mrs. Tachibana hesitated. Well, if youre making an experiment, just make it taste good. You may each have a buddy to work with, but only if you please. If anyone has any questions, feel free to inquire. I will give you today and tomorrow to cook something up. You may start now.

Immediately the class began discussing amongst themselves about their latest assignment.

Melody quickly looked at May. Want to be buds?

Of course, May replied.

Melody beamed. Okay, lets start. Is there any recipe in particular you want to create?

May shook her head. Do you just want to look in Mrs. Tachibanas cookbooks? I am sure she has several we could use. May pointed to a corner of the room where there were a various amount of recipe books.

Sure! Melody agreed.

The two girls made their way to the corner of the classroom and started skimming through the cookbooks. They looked at many books, scanning through each one carefully. Both girls saw many dinner recipes, fun snack ideas, delectable appetizers, and scrumptious dessert formulas; but they still kept rummaging around, until May picked up a recipe book about chocolate. The book, called Chocolate Lovers Delight, had numerous recipes of chocolate, from fancy chocolate truffles to some simple chocolate syrup. However, there was one particular recipe that caught Mays eye. It was a plain chocolate heart, but to May it felt to her it was the perfect gift for Ash. Thats it! She thought to herself. May gazed at the book, captivated by the words. All she needed was a few things, and it would not take very long. It was appealing and easy to make.

May nudged Melody and pointed to the recipe. Mel, this is what I can make for him!

Melody glanced to where she was pointing and grinned. See? I knew you could think of something. Way to go, May. Do you want to make it? Well make two, one for Mrs. Tachibana and one for Ash. Ill even help you.

May gave her best friend a hug. Thanks Mel, I honestly can say I dont know what I would do without you.

Melody hugged her back. No problem. Now lets get started, come on! She led May to the segment of the room where there was Mrs. Tachibanas abundant cooking supplies.

Throughout the period, both teenagers worked on the gift, perfecting the gift. At one point, May saw Ash outside the door strolling along. Seeing Ashs charming face made Mays heart skip a beat. She hoped he would appreciate her gift. At the end of the class, they managed to finish. May carefully draped the heart within a clear wrapper and secured it with gorgeous ribbons.

Im so glad we are done! Melody clapped.

Me too, May agreed. I think Ill take it hometo protect it.

Melody laughed. Well, Id better get home, she grabbed her backpack. Good luck tomorrow!

Thanks, May said in gratitude as Melody walked out the door. She needed all the luck she could get.

-[The next day]-

May woke up to the sound of her alarm clock, beeping riotously, urging her to leave her bed and get ready for school. After a few minutes, she got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. As she did, she remembered today was Valentines Day.

But something was wrong; her throat was sore, her face felt hot, and when she looked in the mirror, her eyes were red and puffy. May was very ill.

In fear that her mom would notice her sickness, May tried to wash her face and clean herself up as much as she could so she could go to school and give Ash her gift.

May endeavored to walk to the kitchen to grab some toast and depart as speedy as possible; but apparently her mom noticed.

May! her mom exclaimed and stopped May in her tracks. You look horrible! You are also running a fever! May, you cant go to school like this. Get to your room and Ill make you some soup. There is no reason for you to go to school today.

ButMom! Im fine, really! Im well enough to go to school. Ill be fine! May insisted after a series of coughs.

Her mom shook her head. No May, you will get even more sick if you go outside. Just stay in bed today.

May looked at her mother surprised. The one day she wanted to go to school, she couldnt! The world seemed so unfair to May just then. She had no choice but to retreat back to her room.

May sighed. She couldnt go to school. She couldnt give her present to Ash. She couldnt express her feelings to him at Valentines Day! Why do these things always happen to me? She thought furiously.

For the whole day, May sat around in her bed, depressed and wondering what to do. Melody called, concerned, but also brought some more bad news. She mentioned quite a few girls were giving Ash chocolates and cards. May lied down on her bed, miserable.

Finally, around early afternoon, Mays mom announced that she was well enough to go out, but cautioned her to be careful not to run or anything like that, for she was still a bit ill. Excited, May pulled on her jeans and a warm jacket. She grasped her gift and went out the door. School was ending, and she wanted to catch Ash before he went home. Despite her moms warning, May ran as fast as she could to get to the school.

A block away from the school, she abruptly bumped into someone. May feel down on the ground and dropped her chocolate.

Im so sorry! Ium, May looked up and gasped.

There was Ash, standing in front of her, looking at her curiously.

Thats all right; but I should have moved when I saw you coming. Need a hand? Ash held out his hand in front of May.

Iuh, s-sure, May blushed and took his hand.

There you go. Are you okay? he asked concerned.

Um, yes, May answered.

Ash gazed at May carefully. Youre May, right?

May nodded.

I noticed you werent in school today, he pointed out.

May blushed, her face rosy red. Um, uhyeah. I was s-sick.

Are you okay now? Ash asked in a fretful tone.

Y-yeah, Im f-fine. May replied, stuttering anxiously.

Oh! Ash picked up her chocolate from the ground. You must have dropped this.

He handed the heart to May and grinned. It looks homemade, did you make it?

Surprised, May nodded.

Its very nice, Ash complimented. Well, Id better head home. Bye! He waved and started heading home.

May looked at him nervously. I have to give this to him, I have to give this to him, I have to give this to him. She repeated in her mind. Wait Ash!

Ash turned around, eyebrow raised.

May walked up to him and gathered her courage. Thisthis is for you. She held out the chocolate to Ash, blushing a little.

For me? Ash took the chocolate.

May nodded. Ash, I-I love you.

Ash smiled. Do you want to go to the movies this week with me?

Right then, May knew he accepted her gift. Yes, Ash, Id love to.

They moved closer and closer, and May finally kissed the man she loved.

--

Did you like it? Please review! =]

Syaoran's Biggest FanGirl

~Aww...isn't he cute? <3~

YESH, I am back onto PC after that super duper long break. Miss me? :p

?My NEW LiveJournal?

--My Fanfics--
((though I currently write only CCS fics))

~|Proud Christian. Period.|~

Last edited by LoveLy MiSha; April 19th, 2005 at 08:37 PM.
  #2    
Old April 4th, 2005, 10:49 PM
mew151's Avatar
mew151
Trainer
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Endiness
Age: 29
Gender:
Very good, I must say. Now if only that font wasn't green-colored. *hmm*. Anyway, this is a pretty good AS fanfic like I said. Do you have plans of writing more AS fanfics? I'd like to see your other fics if possible.

My rating: 7 out of 10 for me. The color of the font was too bright to see so I had to highlight the whole story. Heh!
  #3    
Old April 5th, 2005, 03:51 PM
IceKing's Avatar
IceKing
Mime Jr.
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Gender:
The fact I prefer AshxMisty does not affect this review

Likes
Portrayal of Mays emotions
Plot twist (May getting sick)
Description of people

Dislikes
Green font (MY EYES!)
Its kind of bland

Im not a huge fan of shipping fics, but I am a sucker for romance. I thought you portrayed May's love for Ash in this fic very well, but the fic itself wasn't really that excited. Overall I give this a 6.5/10.

Sorry for the sucky review
  #4    
Old April 5th, 2005, 07:49 PM
LoveLy MiSha's Avatar
LoveLy MiSha
~Everfalling Sakura~
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: with Syaoran, of course
Age: 23
Gender:
Nature: Naive
Oh, eheh! Sowwy for thee green font, I use a dark layout, so...yeah.

Mew151--Thanks. I am planning to write another fic, but the problem would be that I'd have to find some time. =[ I'd love to write another fic, because I have to stories stuck in my brain that I really want to write. ^-^ So, maybe I will have some fics. It all depends on time I guess.

IceKing--It's all right, but thanks for the advice. After all, this is only my second fic. xP

Syaoran's Biggest FanGirl

~Aww...isn't he cute? <3~

YESH, I am back onto PC after that super duper long break. Miss me? :p

?My NEW LiveJournal?

--My Fanfics--
((though I currently write only CCS fics))

~|Proud Christian. Period.|~
  #5    
Old April 13th, 2005, 12:34 PM
Lily's Avatar
Lily
◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Joisey
Gender: Female
Nature: Bold
Send a message via Skype™ to Lily
Yes, I'm a closet reader. >.>

Congrats on the ff of the week! Cute story.

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.
  #6    
Old April 18th, 2005, 03:10 PM
SilverBlaze09's Avatar
SilverBlaze09
Christian American
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: *yawns* Um, behind you?
Age: 26
Gender:
Nature: Quirky
Hmm, it was actually interesting.

You missed a few words here and there, and inserted some words that were unneeded.

And I thought that Ash was 15-16. Yet, you say that he's the only MAN she ever loved...

Other than that, I liked it, which is saying a bit... I normally don't do shipping fics... Very bad to do, people begin calling you an "enemy shipper" or an "allied shipper"... Very bad for your health...

Well, other than this^ totally pointless comment, I have to summarize this as: if you write more, I'll be looking in on it...

I'd better leave... These ellipses are following me around... SB

P.S. Please eliminate that green font color, it hurts the eyes...
John 3:16- For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
I love that verse.
Currently unable to Fanfic on-line, but hope to soon.

Last edited by SilverBlaze09; April 18th, 2005 at 03:23 PM.
  #7    
Old May 4th, 2005, 01:36 PM
AngelMina
+Im Back+
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
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Age: 23
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~ this adavanced shipping fic was really good i loved it! u should write more fics. i give u 9 out of 10 ( the pink font was to light , i had to highlight the whole thing to read, but it was nice ) way to go!!!!

~Mina~
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