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Reload this Page Shackles (sequel to Chains)

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  #1    
Old April 20th, 2005 (03:36 PM).
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Shackles

It did not matter whether his eyelids had finally given up or not; such was the darkness. His own forced breath was the only sound heard.

But he could sense the presence.

How do you feel, Mewtwo? asked a smooth, soft echo of thoughts.

He didnt react to the question for a while, but then answered.

I want to break out... I want to smash the glass... I want to shatter these chains...

He felt his wrists pulse with every beat of his heart, too numb to feel pain.

Will you?

...No... I must not...

He resisted the overwhelming temptation to break the shackles off his limbs with a stroke of mental energy.

You can.

Is this the only way?

He knew the answer. He had asked that question so many times, so desperately.

Yes, the only way...

He let out a series of coughs and chuckles.

I am suffering and dying for your creations, Mew... I hate to do it, I despise it, but I do it... do you know why?

There was no answer.

It is my purpose.

You are serving it well.

The Creators clone exists to suffer and die... isnt that ironic?

You are a part of me, Mewtwo... and that is exactly why you must die for them... you are the only one who can...

His brain was in insane fits of mental laughter while breathing grew steadily harder.

Are they even worth it? Do they even want to be saved? Maybe my death will be in vain. Maybe my suffering will all be for nothing and my pain pointless...

I must leave now, Mewtwo... the voice said softly. I could not bear to watch you die.

Goodbye, Mew.

The presence vanished. His unsteady breathing slowed gradually down; he felt a drop of blood trickling down his arm from the shackles.

My spirit is yours...

He chuckled insanely for the last time; then the chamber fell silent.
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  #2    
Old August 16th, 2005 (08:27 AM).
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Mmmm...very nice. I liked it. The thing is, I can't see much how it ties into Chains. You'd have been better off putting this as another one shot.

The exclusion of all the old characters, and the inclusion of Mew make this seem very different from the last. Not to mention we have no clue why Mewtwo is dying. It could be inferred that he's too dangerous to live? I dunno...

So, it was good...but I can't say I felt like it was a sequel =/ Great job!
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Old August 16th, 2005 (09:15 AM).
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Umm, exclusion of "all the old characters"? There were only three characters in Chains, and Mewtwo, the absolute main one, is still in there. The events of Shackles happen just after Chains. I don't see how it does not connect. As for why Mewtwo is dying? Umm, he's hanging on his wrists without food in a dark room...

It's like you decided that Chains and Shackles were separate, and then decided that we don't know why Mewtwo is dying. The reason Mewtwo is dying was in Chains; that's why they are inseparable.
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Old August 16th, 2005 (11:11 AM).
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The daughter looked like she had a definitive plan for seeing Mewtwo again, and I would've thought she'd free him.

And about the death... I felt more like Mew had decided Mewtwo had to die. The man in the other story had said they were keeping Mewtwo alive...if barely. Not sure how that suddenly changed.
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Old August 16th, 2005 (11:37 AM).
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Can I request a link to 'Chains'?
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Old August 16th, 2005 (11:52 AM).
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http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=34440

^I just was looking at all Dragonfree's fics today XD
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Old August 16th, 2005 (01:51 PM).
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Oh, God. And 'God' in the most literal sense.

Very, very good. I was offset by the prequel at first (it was good, but not OMGawesome), but this was amazingly creative and just... very well done in all aspects.

You often have to wonder what he really thought, don't you?

Good job. I don't want to say too much, so (even if it's an invalid interpretation) I don't put ideas into heads before they read it.

::nod:: Very good.
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Old August 16th, 2005 (02:07 PM).
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I almost saw a God-Jesus reference actually. Just from their conversation.

But, it could be interpreted many ways like ACT said.
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Old August 16th, 2005 (03:03 PM).
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Quote:
The man in the other story had said they were keeping Mewtwo alive...if barely. Not sure how that suddenly changed.
They were never keeping Mewtwo alive; on the contrary, they put him there to die.

As for Mary... she couldn't free him as that would wreck the whole point of the story, but on the other hand I've been trying to write (although I have Writer's Block on) the third story in the trilogy, where Mary comes in again.

o.O I got a compliment from Act. *blinks*
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  #10    
Old August 16th, 2005 (03:23 PM).
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I'm a sucker for this kind of thing. Like the Peter/Paul in purple_drake's fic.

It also takes a lot of work to write a piece with this subject area; it needs to be interestning with all symbolism aside for those who won't (or can't) get it, yet it has to be not-discreet-enough to get the point across.

Randomly, I just got the Mary thing.
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Old August 16th, 2005 (03:35 PM).
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Oh. Then I don't think that was stressed enough in the first story.

When the man was talking to his daughter about how they had to "keep him weak" it was fairly misleading.
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Old August 16th, 2005 (03:45 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Chains:
Yes, he told himself, the world was better when Mewtwo was chained in a secured chamber to die.
What you're referring to is probably when he is telling Mary why they aren't feeding Mewtwo, saying that "If we fed it, it would become too powerful to keep it here." But he mainly wanted to shield Mary from the fact that they were just hanging Mewtwo up to die a slow, painful death; with that sentence he was also implying that they weren't feeding Mewtwo at all, which was meant to make it clear to the reader that Mewtwo was definitely supposed to be dying there. :\
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Old August 16th, 2005 (06:48 PM).
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Point taken ._.

Well...that makes more sense XD Sorry 'bout all the confusion ;
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Old August 17th, 2005 (09:08 PM).
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Wow. o.o I like it, especially the way it..somehow ties in with the Bible. (My spirit if yours). Probably the second best one shot I've read of yours. =D

Quote originally posted by Dragonfwee:
o.O I got a compliment from Act. *blinks*
XDDD!!
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