FFotM (March 06) The Ties that Bind (One-Shot)

[lordledge]

There are a few things in the world that i am prepared to call a true work of art, writting is something i have a passion for and there is only one writter in the world who has ever made me cry (JK Rowling), but i must say that this fan fiction has brought me closer to tears than hundreds of other professionally written books, thank you for a wonderful peice of art and best of luck for the future.

[D3L3T3D]

It's heavily reminiscent of the gory battles experienced on the Plateau in the Pokémon Adventures comic. I like it--it shows a side of the universe so rarely displayed.

I realize I may be reviving a topic by posting here,b ut this is just too good to let it go without commendation. Very well-written.

[Gummy]

I read this a while ago but it seems I've never posted here. The is no doubt the best one-shot that I have ever read, and probabaly will always be. You know exactly what to say, how to say it and when to say it. This should be moved and stickied to the Lounge as an example of true greatness. Not to mention reading this fic along with another well written one is what got me into writing in the first place. Thank you for allowing me to read such a masterpiece.

[Saffire Persian]

Lord Edge:

Originally Posted by lordledge

There are a few things in the world that i am prepared to call a true work of art, writting is something i have a passion for and there is only one writter in the world who has ever made me cry (JK Rowling), but i must say that this fan fiction has brought me closer to tears than hundreds of other professionally written books, thank you for a wonderful peice of art and best of luck for the future.

Thanks. I need all the luck I can get. I'm just glad I still enjoy writing. Thanks for the compliment!

D3L3T3D

It's heavily reminiscent of the gory battles experienced on the Plateau in the Pokémon Adventures comic. I like it--it shows a side of the universe so rarely displayed.

I realize I may be reviving a topic by posting here,b ut this is just too good to let it go without commendation. Very well-written.

The battles are actually gory in the Pokémon Adventures manga? That almost makes me want to find some scanlations for them, as I like realistic pokémon fanfiction. And I actually thing reviving threads in the pokémon archive is okay... so far as I know anyway. In any case, I don't mind. XD

Thanks for the review!

Gummy:

I read this a while ago but it seems I've never posted here. The is no doubt the best one-shot that I have ever read, and probabaly will always be. You know exactly what to say, how to say it and when to say it. This should be moved and stickied to the Lounge as an example of true greatness. Not to mention reading this fic along with another well written one is what got me into writing in the first place. Thank you for allowing me to read such a masterpiece.

Thanks for the compliments, though I dunno about it being so great as to have it moved and stickied to the Lounge. xD I'm glad you're into writing, too! It's nice to see people enjoy writing and reading fanfiction, and I wish you luck with your own. ^^

[invisible-chan]

This is an amazing piece! It's so hard to find a 2nd person point of view so well written. Great job! I hope to read more of your works in the future.

[Twilight Wolf]

This one-shot was beautiful. The Charizard dying is what really left a deep gash inside of me. A horrible way to die, indeed. I love Charizard, and that made me well up inside. Congrats, and I am actually glad you wrote this story. I love it. *goes and hugs my level 100 Charizard (Pokemon Diamond game) tightly*

[kissing. raindrops]

Wow.. I just read this, it took my breath away. Charmander is my favorite Pokemon, that'd be so sad if it actually happened to me D=
But awesome job, Saffire Persian, thanks for the emotional read, it brought tears to me eyes.

[Clevink]

I realize how late I am in saying this, but *tear* easily one of the best fan fic's I've ever read. Geez, I can't even put into words how amazingly awesome this is!

[aceupthesleeve]

That was absolutely beautiful; and about Charizard, no less.

I tend to steer clear from anything written in 'you' form, bit it all just seemed so fitting. It wouldn't have been complete written any other way, I don’t think. It just added that something extra; making it all the more original.

The description you used set the scene, and the mood you’d set from beginning till end.

I loved it.

[Raibutai]

Wow. Just wow. This is probably better than countless professionally written books I've read. Charizard is one of those Pokemon I actually dislike... and now, I'm just feeling kind of... depressed.

It's surprising - I've read sad stories before, but none have actually made me feel like this.

This is truly a masterpiece. I wouldn't be surprised if you rose to be one the greatest writers ever.

[Feathing]

I almost cried like a baby
It's such so sad, but so beautiful too!
It's just like you actually trained a real Pokemon and he died..
I wish I could write like you did here, and I wish I could read more from you

Such a great story. Congratulations!!

[yuki3056]

Wow....I was going to tell you how much I liked this fic and why...but just wow...I can not put into words how the raw emotions and the very stylish writing made me fell...I felt as if I was watching him the entire time....Just wow that is all I can say, the rest can not be put into words...

[pocketst]

It was definatly a good read. I liked your style. A+

[9Gengar]

That was one of the most touching pokemon fanfics I've ever read! Though I can't believe Charizard actually died...

Now on to more specific comments:

Really like the emotional descriptions:

General Descriptions I enjoyed:

"evanescent white"

"bolting up into the blue noonday sky"

"Nothing is held back. The flame washes over skin and plant like a giant tide, "

(Great battle scenes btw)

"his eyes glimmering like ice while his tone is just as cold.

“Hold him down. Use Solar Beam. Don’t hold back.”"


"Vines loosen. " It's good to have short sentences like these to make a dramatic impact.

"Your heart shoots up in your chest, and you think for a moment it just might leap out as the euphoria swells deep within you. " You can really imagine her/his joy here.


Great suspense:
"You notice his tail flame is low – dangerously low...."

then "It is then you first know something is wrong."


"Nurse Joy stops you, placing a cold, pale hand on your shoulder. It’s meant to be comforting, but it isn’t. "

" she says in a fake, cheery voice that sounds robotic:"


"Of all the emotions rising within you, anger and frustration erupt to the top." Lovely and moving.

"The front doors whiz open, and the silence is shattered."


"Flashes. Bright, inconsiderate flashes of light illuminate your face.........You are barraged with questions from a thousand different voices, all clamoring to get the first word out of you, but you aren’t going to give it to them. " (Nice how you describe the senses of the trainer to make the moment more vivid)



The aura is a lot calmer near the end, but loses none of its depth of emotion:

"You walk slowly, inhaling in the clean air, tinged with the fresh smell of the berry trees that your parents grow here."

" once a living, breathing creature who, once upon a time, flew unchallenged across the heavenly sky." (No direct emotion 'telling', but the image still exudes a bittersweet poignancy.)

Well done!