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  #1    
Old March 15th, 2006 (03:04 PM).
FSwenson FSwenson is offline
 
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I have a number of stories to share, and I hope that others will be inclined to add more stories from their own lines of work.

First let me give you a little background:

I work in a college registrars office for a school called Eisenhower University - see eisenhoweruniversity . com. My division deals with prior learning assessment (PLA) and evaluation for people with work experience and/or previous college credits that they could turn into an Eisenhower degree. Every day our office gets calls and emails from all around the country, and I have the pleasure of speaking to a number of upstanding individuals who think they could get a Master's Degree in Engineering because they once "built a do-it-yourself radio kit." While we mail out degrees in many trades for work experience, we're not going to give you an Accounting Degree because your aunt was an accountant five years ago and you once "balanced your own checkbook." If you expect a university to grant you a degree based on work experience you should have actually, you know, worked in the field for a number of years.

What makes things worse is that the hippies at my university recently artifically lowered the PLA fees to ridiculous levels due to of some kind of "education should be free or almost free" mentality. That means my office gets bombarded with inquiries 24/7 from idiots with no any qualifications or work references at all, who want to trick us into giving them a degree.

- Story 1 -

Earlier today I had a call from a redneck wanting to apply with us. During the conversation this is what transpired:

Me: May I have your zip code please?

Him: Zip code? You mean 804?

Me: Oh, I'm sorry I meant your 5 digit zip code

Him: Hold on, HONEY!! WHATS THE ZIP CODE!!

Me: *pause*

Him: We don't know, I just want to sign up for the PLA program

Me: Absolutely. I will be happy to help you further; what state do you live in?

Him: STATE? the UNITED STATES!

- Story 2 -

Often we'll get clueless people who are so out of touch with technology that its laughable. Here's a snippet from a conversation with a 40 year old guy about applying for our work experience degree program online.

Me: What version of Windows are you running?

Them: Hold on, let me check.

Me: OK.

Them: They're thermal.

Me: I...I beg your pardon?

Them: The windows are thermal.

Me: ...

- Story 3 -

Last week a lady called in who was having trouble accessing her student account on our website. I don't know why she called our office, since tech support is a different division entirely. But after a little trial and error we were able to get her account fixed and everything squared away. The tail end of our conversation went like this:

Me: Well, seems like everything is working, is there anything else I can help you with?

Her: Yeah, don't use anti-perspirant! Wanna know why?

Me: Not really, but I bet you're going to tell me.

Her: Because it causes cancer! Look at the first ingredient, it's aluminum! It gives you the cancer!

Me: Well, that's good to know ma'am, have a good day!

Her: Wait!! Do you know why 9/11 really happened? George Bush ordered it! There were secret Nesara computers in the sub-sections underneath the WTC!

Me: Wow, amazing.

Her: I'm part of this secret agency tied to Nesara, and we're planning on overthrowing the government! Here's a few links you should check out, and tell all your friends about!

Me: Will do ma'am, thank you for calling.

Her: No no! Wait! Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara !!!!!!

The call lasted about 40 minutes after I fixed her problem, and since I can't hang up on students I had to sit there and listen to these awesome stories. She went on and on about Nesara, and how I should watch the news because something huge was going to happen in the next few days. Of course nothing did. God I love my job.
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Old March 15th, 2006 (03:05 PM).
FSwenson FSwenson is offline
 
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I have more stories if you guys are interested. I'll probably be back later tonight since I have some important things to do at the moment.
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  #3    
Old March 15th, 2006 (03:33 PM). Edited March 16th, 2006 by Psycho.
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Do refrain from double-posting as it is illegal on PC

However, to contribute to the topic, I must say that the most ridiculous thing I can recall of hearing from a customer is:
Cashier: Paper or plastic?
Customer: Cardboard.

I find that to be ever so humorous.

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Old March 15th, 2006 (03:43 PM).
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Haha, I like this thread.

Cashier:That will be $50.
Customer:Oh sorry, I only have $45.
Cashier:Well put this back.
Customer:Will that bring the price down?

I was in awe. XD
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Old March 15th, 2006 (09:18 PM).
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Well nothing amsuses me anymore...for instance now everything is annoying and the customer should know better.

Cashier: Your total comes to $5.
Customer: Well the price over there says $3.
Cashier: Price Check to Register One.
Customer: I'm kinda in a hurry...
Cashier 2: Well the price does say $5...and the sign above it (or near it, for a different item) says $3.
Customer: Well I guess I didn't see that...
Cashier: (Argggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) alright is that all for you then"" alright you have a good day...

I mean come on can't they read...
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Old March 15th, 2006 (09:31 PM).
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Quote originally posted by FSwenson:
I have more stories if you guys are interested. I'll probably be back later tonight since I have some important things to do at the moment.
Please do...I haven't laughed that much in quite a while.
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Old March 16th, 2006 (12:36 AM).
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Hah, That was funny. XD I haven't laughed as much for ages.
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Old March 16th, 2006 (12:49 PM).
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When I worked in Victoria's Secret, some woman repeatedly told me not to show her any thongs, as she doesn't like objects being protruded into her. I don't know what her deal was.

And when I was doing a return for someone, some guy came up with a crumpled bag and wanted to exchange his purchases for store credit. I just nonchalantly said "oh, did your girlfriend not like the undies?" "No, they were too small for my sister." .................wtf. Who buys g-strings for their sisters?
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Old March 16th, 2006 (03:13 PM).
FSwenson FSwenson is offline
 
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Here's another antecdote:

As a teenager I worked in a Domino's pizza. One day some guy came into my work and asked if he could buy cupcakes and have us bake them on his pizza.

He was very fat and very serious.

And one more:

A few years ago I was working in the tech shop of a CompUSA. I had a customer give me grief for shaking a CD-R. He eyed me angrily and snapped, "Don't do that! You'll make all the data fall off!"
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Old March 16th, 2006 (03:33 PM).
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If I may include my experiences as cashier, I had a customer tell another about me, 'That's the [expletive] that has issues with us using up his bags!' Which of course, got gawks from the other people in the store. And they shut right up after that and paid me no further attention.
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Old March 16th, 2006 (06:11 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Kim:
When I worked in Victoria's Secret, some woman repeatedly told me not to show her any thongs, as she doesn't like objects being protruded into her. I don't know what her deal was.

And when I was doing a return for someone, some guy came up with a crumpled bag and wanted to exchange his purchases for store credit. I just nonchalantly said "oh, did your girlfriend not like the undies?" "No, they were too small for my sister." .................wtf. Who buys g-strings for their sisters?
I really hope the second one was sarcasm, xD.

Quote:
A few years ago I was working in the tech shop of a CompUSA. I had a customer give me grief for shaking a CD-R. He eyed me angrily and snapped, "Don't do that! You'll make all the data fall off!"
XDDD! I will definitly check this thread alot.
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Old March 17th, 2006 (06:33 AM).
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[QUOTE=Dawg 2005]I really hope the second one was sarcasm, xD.[QUOTE]

Ehh...I can usually tell when people were joking. Of course teenage white boys dressed as "gangstaz" were there as a joke and would say all sorts of things. But this guy was in his 40's/50's...I think he was serious. Just a bit disturbed. I kind of left it at that, and just returned his stuff.

What's more disturbing is, I don't know what we did with the used stuff that we exchanged/allowed to be returned. I only went in the back room when we had to get mannequinns and such, so ehh...those used underwears could be anywhere. I feel bad if people bought them...used.
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Old March 19th, 2006 (05:34 PM).
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*shivers*
disturbing aint the word for it....
more like....PERVERT!
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Old March 20th, 2006 (05:26 AM).
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I actualy had the comment that got me fired...' Im14, and this woman got me so frickin fired up...

Her: how old are you? You seem too young to work here

Me: Im 14

Her: Really? Oh, the youngins...Always so short these days

Me: *pause* *getting mad*

Her: Oh well...How tall are you? You look around oh...4 feet?

Me: How old are you? You look about 83 years



I was fired lol
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Old March 20th, 2006 (09:51 PM).
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She sounds really horrible. @_@ You were provoked, you shouldn't have been fired ._.

JA needs a job~
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Old March 21st, 2006 (03:29 AM).
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And other curious questions: 'Do we bag or not?'
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Old March 21st, 2006 (06:35 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Jedi_Amara:
She sounds really horrible. @_@ You were provoked, you shouldn't have been fired ._.

JA needs a job~
Thanks, its good to know I have 1 person on my side...-.- lol
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Old March 21st, 2006 (12:29 PM).
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My dad had some wierd experiences in a shop he used to work in

Some guy: I'd like a daily mail (or something) please
Dad: sorry but we're out of stock
S G: I said I'd like a daily mail
Dad: I'm sorry Sir but I the daily mail is sold out
S G: Kids these days, never understand a word adult's say

That was like when my dad was 16 and he's 50 something now O.o
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Old March 22nd, 2006 (09:00 AM).
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Quote originally posted by FireFox113:
Thanks, its good to know I have 1 person on my side...-.- lol
hahaha. wtf. You think tha'ts the LEAST of what you'll get on the job?

To handle a job, you should have a level of maturity. Granted, some can only take so much. But that is NOTHING compared to what you'll get someday at some other job. You should not have made that comment. You should have just done your job and left it at that.
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Old March 22nd, 2006 (09:11 AM).
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Quote originally posted by Kim:
hahaha. wtf. You think tha'ts the LEAST of what you'll get on the job?

To handle a job, you should have a level of maturity. Granted, some can only take so much. But that is NOTHING compared to what you'll get someday at some other job. You should not have made that comment. You should have just done your job and left it at that.
Well, some people just can't take insults. << They find it very rude and don't like to help people that do it. I for one wouldn't have been able to handle it, that woman would have so deserved it.
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Old March 22nd, 2006 (07:45 PM).
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I've hit customers back with far worse and I'm still holding the same job. As of May I'll have been there a year.
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Old March 22nd, 2006 (07:49 PM).
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Quote originally posted by Tyson:
Well, some people just can't take insults. << They find it very rude and don't like to help people that do it. I for one wouldn't have been able to handle it, that woman would have so deserved it.
yes, agreed....i'd find it hard to take insults like that XD btw, firefox that was a good one
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Old March 23rd, 2006 (11:54 AM).
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And I bet ya'll don't have jobs.

Jobs worth some credentials, anyway.

Or you're lying.

Or your boss is a piece of crap.

You're supposed to be above the idiot customers, don't you know that?
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Old March 27th, 2006 (04:03 PM).
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I work at a library, and one time I had this woman come up in the large print section and ask me if I knew of any books that didn't have "bad words" in them. She said she was "sick of reading books with bad words in them", and she thought that "the only reason they are in there is because of the author".
Well, yeah.

I did manage to find her some books without "bad words" (hopefully, anyway), but it WAS a little amusing.

We've also had Baptists come in and try to save us. My one co-worker had the Bible read to her and was quizzed on it afterwards. O-o

We also had a person urinate in the 800s because he was mad because he couldn't find the bathroom.
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Old March 27th, 2006 (04:12 PM).
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Lets see, I work at Subway, just so we have that down first.

Anyways, on Saturday night, this old man came in and got a sub. All was going fine until I got to the vegetable section of the counter. Suddenly, this guy just starts going on about all of the perverts in Korea, Japan, something like that, and it just got awkward from there... xx;
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