I remember looking at that sad, tear-sodden face in the window. Somehow, it didn’t look anything like me, but at the same time it looked exactly like I did. Those hazy blue eyes reflected a dark side of life that no person ever wanted to visit. Not able to bare the harshness of it, I focused my eyes on the blur of trees, shrubs…what ever you call landscape these days. I heard my name being called, but the swirl of colors mesmerized my mind, and I was pushed back a few hours before.
“Are you sure you won’t get in trouble?” his voice was full of concern, like it always was.
I pushed him away, “Of course I’m sure. Why else would I be here” I snapped. His eyes dulled, and his checks lost a shade of their color. I could tell I had hurt him.
“But if Drew, or even your parents find out you’d-”
“I know the risks. But none of that matters,” I had to reassure him. I had to let him feel safe. He embraced me, and I him. I felt my very spirit spring out in joy, and my body seemed to melt in his arms. We could have been there for five seconds, or five hundred years. It didn’t matter, we were together.
An abrupt strike to my shoulder snapped me to my senses. I was tempted to look over at who had struck me. But I wasn’t able to tear my eyes from the kaleidoscope of colors washing over me, controlling me.
“Mom, is she alright?”
“Yes dear… she’ll be just fine”
The voices seemed to clutter together with the rest of the background noise coursing through my thoughts. Like the rest of my life, the noise meant nothing, and soon enough the sounds began to fade and everything around me began to dissolve into thin air.
This time it was him who pushed my away. “How much longer do you think we can keep this up? You don’t honestly expect us to do this forever do you?”
I gazed up at him thoughtfully. True, this inquiry had haunted me straight from the start. I knew that if my parents or best friend learned of me meeting a boy several years older then I, it would be the end us, the end of my Pokemon coordinating days, and the end of me. My heart yearned to tell him that I agreed we couldn’t keep this up, but I couldn’t force any noise out of me. Instead I kissed him lightly on the cheek. This seemed sign enough, seeing as how he took me back in his arms.
Everything after that seemed like a blur…
“Hey? Honey, you want something to eat?”
The colors had stopped. Replacing the lush landscape was a harsh mound of concrete and screws, overflowing with the foul odor of cooked fat. I grimaced at the sight, and shut my eyes tightly together.
“Did you hear your mother? She said- ”
“Leave her be Norman.”
I acted like I hadn’t heard any of it, and remained where I was until we began to rumble along, and back into the wilderness.
Everything happened so fast that it’s hard for me to recall just exactly how things went.
The door opened. Someone screamed, and yanked us apart. I heard a flurry of scorns and curses, all tumbled together with the frantic calling of my name. I was dragged from the room, down the hall and stairs, through the foyer and out the front door and into the car.
I began to cry as I was being buckled into my car seat, and then a tall, thin lady stood in front of me.
“May! How could you? Ash is five years older then you! Don’t you know the things he could have done to you?”
I starred at my mother and said nothing, only watching as her expression shifted from anger, to sorrow, to confusion. She shook her head, and shut my door. The car started up and we lurched away from the abode. My tears were flowing uncontrollably by this point, and my outfit was coated in a layer of fresh tear stains. Desperately searching for some sign that everything was ok, my eyes flickered towards the window, where I saw a reflection. At first I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me. Then the image began to comprehend. I was staring at myself.
The car lurched as it went over a bump in the road. It took me a moment to regain my senses. Where was I? Wasn’t I just with… then it all came back, the secret meetings, the separation, all of it. I glanced up from the window, and saw a dark shadow had drifted over everything. All of my surroundings were beginning to darken, and soon my entire world was black. I didn’t fight it, and even though I couldn’t see I shut my eyes and welcomed the darkness. And with that, my last connection to the realm of the living was severed.