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View Poll Results: Do you like my Fan Fic?
W00T!! It's the BOMB! 11 55.00%
It's great 2 10.00%
It's okay... 5 25.00%
Not so good... 1 5.00%
It's HORRIBLE! 1 5.00%
Voters: 20. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1    
Old October 22nd, 2006, 03:00 AM
Skymin's Avatar
Skymin
the gratitude pokémon
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: australia
Age: 21
Nature: Quirky
Hey Guys, I'm sorta new at fan fiction, but I'v been writing something for a little bit, here it is
Any errors, compliments or critiques, just post!

Fire Island [contains volcano (Mt. Flame) & hotel]
Grass Island [contains forest (Bulba Forest) & hospital]-
Thunder Island [contains powerplant]
Water Island [ferry, Pool, Lake Squirt and hotel]
Clear Island [PokeCentres and PokeMarts]
Moon Island [Hotels and Mt. Night]
Sun Island [Hotels, Town Centre, Ferry and Mt. Day]
Psychic Island [PokeCentres and PokeMarts]
Rock Island [Fighting Dojo and Mt. Bruno]

----!!New Islands!!----

Bug Island [Beetle Forest & Lake Marquerain]
Dark Island [Small Island off Moon Island]
Dragon Island [Dragons Den, Hotels & Training Gym]
Fighting Island [Fighting Dojo & Mt. Machop]
Flying Island [Avory [Egg Centre], Hotels & PokeCentre]
Ghost Island [Haunted Tower & Training Gym]
Ground Island [Mt. Trapinch & Desert]
Ice Island [Frozen Cave, Ferry & Poke Mart]
Normal Island [Small Island off Clear Island]
Poison Island [Poison Cave & Training Gym]
Steel Island [Mt. Steel, Hotels & Training Gym]
Shadow Island [Small Island off Moon Island]


It was a Sunday morning. Madelaine Ryder (or better known as Maddy) was fast asleep on her bed. It was the day of her 10th Birthday, the day she had been waiting for, all her life. The day, she would receive her first pokemon. But being fast asleep didn’t get her anywhere. It was almost 7 o’clock, and she was supposed to meet up with Professor Palm, the town’s PokeCentre’s owner.Maddy lived in the Elemental Islands, a new set of islands that had been recently found. She lived in the ClearIsland, and in a town called WhiteTown.

The clock struck 7, and the alarm on Maddy’s went of, quite loudly. She awoke with a start, and then suddenly remembered what today was.

‘I’m going to get my first pokemon today!’ She thought excitedly.

She quickly got up, and got dressed in the adventure clothes she had been waiting to wear for weeks. It was a pair of gloves, bandana, a sleeveless shirt, a long pair of jeans, and specially made shoes for adventuring. Maddy was so excited, she tripped over several times. When she was fully dressed, she grabbed the backpack she had packed the night before.

Where are you going Maddy?” A voice coming from the kitchen yelled out.

“I’m going to Professor Palm’s lab, mum, she said she would give me my first pokemon today!” Maddy yelled back.

“Okay,” Maddy’s Mum replied. “But come back to show me, I heard that there are new pokemon around!”

“Okay, see you!”

Maddy left the house and walked the way to the lab. White Town was only little town, so everyone knew everyone. She said hi to the people standing outside of their houses while she walked by. The PokeCentre was at the top of the hill, so it was hard to get to. As she finally reached the tower, a boy, around Maddy’s own age, came out of the PokeCentre.

“Hey, how’s it going?” He said as Maddy went to walk past him. “I’m Kai, what’s your name?”

“I’m Maddy,” she said quietly in a shy voice.

“I just got my first pokemon, wanna see?” He said with a faint tone of boastness.

Maddy’s courage perked up a little. “Yeah, alright!”

Kai took a pokeball of his belt and yelled “Go! Skarmory!”

Out came a silver bird with red wings about half the size of Kai. It shrieked and flapped its wings.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He said while he adored his new pokemon.

“Wow, it’s so small, I didn’t think you’d get one like that!” Maddy beamed at the Skarmory.

“Neither did I, but Prof. Palm is one of the best breeders in the world, she gives out the hatched eggs to the new guys, like me and you,” Kai said proudly.

“Can you help me get a pokemon?” Maddy asked shyly.

“Yeah! Sure, I’ll show you where you have to go!” Kai said with a smile.

He returned his pokemon, walked her into the centre and showed her around.

“There’s the front desk, there’s the phones and there is the lab!” He pointed at a desk, several phones and a set of double doors.

“Let’s go in then,” Maddy walked over and pushed open the double doors.

“Whoa!”

The room was filled with eggs, young pokemon and older ones in glass pens. A young woman was in the corner, rubbing an egg while telling pokemon off for fighting. She noticed Maddy & Kai looking at a pair of blue eggs and walked over to greet them.

“Hey, how are you Kai? Back so soon? And who’s this? A newcomer?” Prof. Palm said with a warm smile.

“Yeah, this is Maddy, she lives at the white and blue house, at the bottom of the hill, she’s looking for her first pokemon,” Kai replied, gesturing towards Maddy.

“Ah, I know your mother. Okay a new pokemon? We have plenty! Pikachus, Clefaries, Natus, Pidgeys, Tailows, and even a baby Lugia, which washed up on the beach, but I’m afraid that she isn’t for taking,” Palm said, pointing towards several pokemon.

But Maddy wasn’t listening. She was staring at a small, brown, fox-looking pokemon. It had a tuff of cream fur under its neck, a bit or cream fur on the bottom of its tail and about the size of a shoe.

“What’s that?” Maddy interrupted, pointing at the pokemon.

Prof. Palm looked towards the small, shy pokemon and sadly said, “That’s an Eevee. It was the runt of the litter and hasn’t been able to get a good home.”

“I’ll take it!” Maddy said happily.

Kai went to stop her. “Hang on a second Maddy! You want a pokemon that’s good and tough! It needs to protect you out in the wilderness!”

“Kai, it looks fine. Don’t worry. Professor, can I have it?”

“Yes, of course you can have her, I’m sure she’ll love that,” Palm said with a big grin.

She picked up the Eevee and put it in Maddy’s hands. It was only small so she had to have a firm grip to keep it up.

Maddy went to put Eevee on the ground when Palm stopped her.

“That wouldn’t be wise,” Palm said with a slight note of laughter in her voice. “You don’t want Eevee to be squashed!”

Maddy nodded and put the Eevee in her backpack, so the Eevee would have her head poking out. Kai rolled his eyes as Maddy cuddled the Eevee.

“You better go now, I’ll see you later!” Palmed waved at them.

“Bye Professor!” Maddy & Kai said as the left the centre.

Maddy had started walking down the hill when Kai stopped her.

“What is it?” Maddy asked him.

“Um, well it’s just that when I go on my adventure tomorrow, I don’t want to go alone. I mean without someone I can talk to. But, I wanna ask, can you come with me tomorrow?” Kai said nervously.

Maddy thought for a moment and said, “Yeah, sure, I’d love to!”

Kai blew a sigh of relief and started to walk down the hill with Maddy.

“Thanks, thanks a lot,” Kai said.

“That’s okay, I don’t want to go “alone” either,” Maddy said with a smile.

“Okay! See you tomorrow!” He head off in the left direction at the end of the hill, as Maddy headed to the right.

“Eevee!” a tiny voice chirped from Maddy’s bag. Maddy lifted Eevee from the bag and held her like a baby.

“You and I are leaving tomorrow,” Maddy said as she wandered to the door of her home. “I hope you’re a
really good battler.”

“Eevee!” Eevee squeaked happily.
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Last edited by Skymin; January 14th, 2007 at 01:36 PM. Reason: Spacing
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  #2    
Old October 22nd, 2006, 06:46 AM
ProtrainerEon's Avatar
ProtrainerEon
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SPACING. Excellent way to get an Eevee. I can see you're trying. Very good effort!

HEY! Professor Palm is MY Professor! In my old fic. Stealer!
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  #3    
Old October 22nd, 2006, 07:29 AM
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ArmchairRomeo
Aura Master
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Somewhere in Johto
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Yeah, you should indent. It makes a story MUCH easier to read.

Professor Palm could be anyone's idea. You may have posted the fanfic first, but someone else could have thought of it before you did.
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  #4    
Old October 22nd, 2006, 07:35 AM
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Mudkip85
A.K.A ~KIPPER~
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Fox River International
Age: 24
Gender:
Nature: Careful
i think its great maybe some words repeated too often like 'said' try using alternative words it will make it sound much better good ideas nevertheless
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  #5    
Old October 22nd, 2006, 10:12 AM
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ArmchairRomeo, I was just teasing. XD I'm not stuck up like that. Who cares about the name? I was actually more surprised than even slightly angered that someone else used the idea.
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  #6    
Old October 22nd, 2006, 11:58 AM
Skymin's Avatar
Skymin
the gratitude pokémon
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: australia
Age: 21
Nature: Quirky
EON : oh sorry! i just used Palm, well one because all the professors names is a tree of a plant (Birch, Elm, Ivy, Oak)and we have palm tree outside so yer! with spacing, ill try & fix it upp

Romeo: uhhhh whats "indent"?

Mudkip: i know i use words like that, and im trying hard not to!! i usually back them up with "nervously", or "Happily"

Thanks guys!
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  #7    
Old October 23rd, 2006, 03:03 AM
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ArmchairRomeo
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Somewhere in Johto
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Relaxed
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtrainerEon View Post
ArmchairRomeo, I was just teasing. XD I'm not stuck up like that. Who cares about the name? I was actually more surprised than even slightly angered that someone else used the idea.
It's kind of hard to tell on a computer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ryder View Post
Romeo: uhhhh whats "indent"?
Oh my...

Just look here!
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Last edited by ArmchairRomeo; October 23rd, 2006 at 03:17 AM.
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  #8    
Old October 23rd, 2006, 12:53 PM
Skymin's Avatar
Skymin
the gratitude pokémon
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: australia
Age: 21
Nature: Quirky
Chapter 2 Coming your way! If you would like to be a character in the story (name and appearance and personality) just post
Maddy smiled as she walked in the door. Her mum was cooking and shrieked when she saw Eevee.

"Ohmygoodness! It’s so adorable! Ommygoodness! It’s an Eevee! It’s so... so... so small... Why is it so small?" Maddy’s mum went from complete happiness to utter confusion.

"It was the runt of the litter, so I guessed no one would get her. It would be so sad for just one to be left behind," Maddy said quietly.

"Oh Maddy, you have a heart of gold. You better have dinner, then head to bed, you have a big day ahead of you!" Maddy’s mum headed back to the kitchen and finished her cooking.

Maddy went into her room, took her backpack of and laid back on the bed. She took her bandana, backpack and shoes off. She changed into her pyjamas and said to Eevee,
"Do I need to give you a nickname?"

Eevee stopped playing with the pillow and looked and Maddy, slightly shrugging her shoulders.

"Hmm… I don’t think I need to, unless you want one," Maddy thought aloud.

Once again, Eevee shrugged her shoulders and said "Eevee…" in a quiet voice.

"Hey, Eevee! You need to learn to speak up. If you’re small, I guess you would be a bit quieter. So give me you loudest cry!" Maddy encouraged Eevee.

"Eevee…" Eevee said quietly.

"Aww, c’mon! Give me your loudest!"

"EEVEE!!!!" Eevee cried at the top of her voice. Maddy broke into a smile.

"Whoa!! That’s more like it! Maybe after dinner we can practise your moves!" Maddy said excitedly.

"DINNER! AND BE A BIT QUIETER!" Mum yelled from the kitchen.

Maddy headed out to the kitchen and saw her favourite, lasagne with mashed potato.

Eevee looked confused and looked at Maddy.

"Eevee…" Eevee looked confused.

"It’s okay, you can have some of my dinner," Maddy smiled.

"Oh, no! You need all you can get Maddy!" Maddy’s mum said, pointing at Maddy.

"Eevee gets her own bowl!" She dished out some into bowl and handed it to Eevee.

"Eevee!" Eevee said happily, and started eating.

Maddy nodded, and began to eat. As Maddy’s mum started to eat, there was a large bang outside. Eevee jumped with fright and hid behind Maddy.

"What was that?!" Maddy’s mum looked around hastily.

"We better check it out!" Maddy said bravely, even though she was a little scared.

"Eevee!" Eevee plucked up her courage and started to pull Maddy out the door. Maddy got up, and followed Eevee out.

Outside, there was a Gastly, banging into the wall, try to scare everyone.

Maddy cringed. "A-a-a gastly? B-b-but they’re g-g-ghost pokemon!" She trembled and started walking backwards. She tripped over and banged her head on the ground.

"Oww, well, we better go take it on!" Maddy got up and started running towards it.

"Eevee!" She nodded her head and followed suite.
Just as Maddy got near the Gastly, she heard a scary whisper and stopped dead. Eevee banged into Maddy’s shoes and looked around Maddy. The Gastly had licked Maddy and she was paralysed! Maddy fell to the ground, and nearly squished Eevee.

"Eevee!" Eevee squealed in surprise and tried to wake Maddy up.

[She w-won’t w-wake up for a w-while,] Gastly said to Eevee smugly.

[She didn’t do anything to you! Why are you scaring everyone!?] she said bravely.

[It’s s-so much fun! It’s like taking a lolly-pop of a baby, it’s fun to s-see them cry… heh heh heh…] Gastly laughed with a wheeze.

[You’re so mean!] Eevee growled angrily.

[Take me on, and I’ll w-wake up your dear h-human friend if you w-win! But I don’t even think you’ll last a s-second! Heh heh heh,] Gastly teased.

[Your on!] Eevee snarled.

Just as Gastly was about to cast a hypnosis, Kai came running along the road.

"HEY! Eevee! Get outta there!!" Kai shouted out to Eevee

[H-huh?] Gastly turned to see who was coming.

Eevee seized the moment and cast a Shadow Ball at Gastly. The Gastly turned around at the last minute, and was hit square in the face. He fell to the ground, fainted.
Kai ran to the scene and saw Maddy paralysed. He grabbed a paralyse heal and dabbed it on the lick wound. She "woke" and picked herself off the ground. She dusted herself off and said, "Kai, what happened?"

"Well, by my guess, I think you were licked by the Gastly, and then Eevee defended you, and used a shadow ball and wiped it out!" Kai said in amazement.

"Wow, really! Eevee?" Maddy asked Eevee.

Eevee nodded her head happily and jumped into Maddy’s arms.

"I guess I underestimated you, Eevee," Kai said with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

"Don’t worry, I think we all had our doubts on Eevee, but it’s all changed today!" Maddy laughed.

"Hmm, well, the gastly is knocked out, sooo…" Kai stared at Maddy. "Well? Can I?"

"Yeah, whatever, knock yourself out," Maddy waved a hand at him.

Kai chuckled and forcefully said, "Go! Pokeball!"

He threw a familiar red ball at the gastly. The ball caught the pokemon, rattled a bit, then settled.

"Allrighty," Kai picked up the ball and put it on his waist. "see you tomorrow!"

"Okay!" Maddy grinned, "Bye!"

She picked up Eevee and walked towards her home, happy that her pokemon was the best.
"Eve," She muttered. "I think I'll call you Eve,"
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Last edited by Skymin; November 5th, 2006 at 10:32 PM.
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  #9    
Old October 27th, 2006, 04:23 PM
ProtrainerEon's Avatar
ProtrainerEon
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I TOTALLY wanna be in the fic.

Name: Ian Daniels (The others besides his Growlithe I would like to be caught later in the story...is that fine with you?)

Pokemon (storage): Electrike(child)

Pokemon (in party): Ralts (close to evolution), Growlithe(starter Pokemon)

Island: (Whichever one you like, it's your fanfic)

Personality: Calm and caring. He is a tough and clever battler that sets his own pace for fights. He is very interested in Eevee though, so he will almost always be nice to Maddy's Eevee, trying to talk to it. Is that okay?

Appearance: His sweatpants are red to match his white top that has a red scoop symbol in the middle. He has on white Reebok shoes and wears a silver watch. He carries a duffel bag around, taking only what he needs and leaving it at a nearby Pokemon Center most of the time.

Is it allright if he sort of, likes Maddy? Just wondering. If not, whatever.



Okay then, about the story...

This is coming along well, but I can't say the same for your spelling. One example...

"lasange?" LASAGNA.

Work on that please.

HOW did Eevee use a Shadow ball? It's a baby! At least explain, like it was breeded with a mix of Eevee and a Meowth, or some Pokemon that knew shadow ball.

Hey, now that I'm on that topic, maybe one of the parents could've been an Umbreon? That'd be a good, and very realistic kind of explanation.

See ya around, waiting for next installment.

EDIT - you don't know what an indent is? It's a space on the first line of a paragraph.

Like this:

(press space bar at least five times)Joey stared at the girl with a shocked expression. What had she just done to him? He felt like he needed to drink water now. Did she have some kind of eerie ability?

Last edited by ProtrainerEon; October 28th, 2006 at 12:17 PM. Reason: ON SECOND THOUGHT, he only has Growlithe.
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  #10    
Old October 27th, 2006, 04:40 PM
Skymin's Avatar
Skymin
the gratitude pokémon
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: australia
Age: 21
Nature: Quirky
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtrainerEon View Post
I TOTALLY wanna be in the fic.

Name: Ian Daniels (The others besides his Growlithe I would like to be caught later in the story...is that fine with you?)

Pokemon (storage): Electrike(child)

Pokemon (in party): Ralts (close to evolution), Growlithe(starter Pokemon)

Island: (Whichever one you like, it's your fanfic)

Personality: Calm and caring. He is a tough and clever battler that sets his own pace for fights. He is very interested in Eevee though, so he will almost always be nice to Maddy's Eevee, trying to talk to it. Is that okay?

Appearance: His sweatpants are red to match his white top that has a red scoop symbol in the middle. He has on white Reebok shoes and wears a silver watch. He carries a duffel bag around, taking only what he needs and leaving it at a nearby Pokemon Center most of the time.

Is it allright if he sort of, likes Maddy? Just wondering. If not, whatever.



Okay then, about the story...

This is coming along well, but I can't say the same for your spelling. One example...

"lasange?" LASAGNA.

Work on that please.

HOW did Eevee use a Shadow ball? It's a baby! At least explain, like it was breeded with a mix of Eevee and a Meowth, or some Pokemon that knew shadow ball.

Hey, now that I'm on that topic, maybe one of the parents could've been an Umbreon? That'd be a good, and very realistic kind of explanation.

See ya around, waiting for next installment.

lol okay ill fix it...
Eevee used shadow ball, as its "special" lol and May's Eevee can use Shadow Ball... but we'll just make it that Umbreon thing lol
and your right to be in the ficc...
you can be someone who tries to attack Maddy, and steals her Eevee? but Kai comes to the rescue and attacks, then you just join lol
sound okaY?
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  #11    
Old October 28th, 2006, 12:24 PM
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ProtrainerEon
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Hold on, my character wouldn't do something like that, unless he ends up stealing it out of his love for Eevee. I'm not sure how you meant it. Unless you mean my character APPEARS after Kai saves Eevee...? I dunno, you tell me then.

And yeah, how the heck can May's Eevee use that move? It makes absolutely no sense at all, but who cares? I, personally, think it should learn RETURN. That seems like a "May's Pokemon" kind of attack, don't you think?

Anyway, I'll shut my flap so you can respond. Eheheheh...
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  #12    
Old October 28th, 2006, 12:30 PM
Skymin's Avatar
Skymin
the gratitude pokémon
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: australia
Age: 21
Nature: Quirky
lol ok.. yup i meant steal cause he loves Eevee so much!
How does that sound?

EDIT - about the lasagne thing...
i live in australia and by my microsoft word, the australian is lasange... so i have different spelling to americans
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Last edited by Skymin; October 29th, 2006 at 12:27 AM.
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  #13    
Old November 2nd, 2006, 01:55 PM
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Schizophrenic Charmander
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Ha ha, I love your story XD. I'm really getting into it. Try and put as much description as you did with Eevee, and it'll be even better. By the way, could I be in your story?

Name: Joe
Description: Tall, black hair with silver streak
Pokemon: Suprise me XD
Personality: He is a very determined trainer, who enjoys battling, but can be a little cold hearted. He has Tourettes Syndromes so tends to whistle and say "meow" at innapropriate times.

If you dont know what Touretttes Syndrome is, watch this.

Thanks!
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  #14    
Old November 2nd, 2006, 04:47 PM
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Volta.
NEEDS A NEW AVATAR@&$^@
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Kanto Power Plant
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nature: Timid
ROFLZ

I just noticed I was in this fic :D
Loox great! Dont worry about my opinion about myself. Methinks its a-ok!
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  #15    
Old November 2nd, 2006, 05:19 PM
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PkmnBreederSteven
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This Fanfic is Cool I want to be in it,

Nameteven

Age:12

Gender:Male

Apperanceteven has black Spikey hair a blue jacket and shoes and brown eyes.

Pokemon:Houndour(Can I catch more in Story)

goals: Ultimate Pokemon Breeder and Trainer

Personailtyteven has a very uncalm and he panicks alot he is afraid of boats(he is very they will sink) and flying (cause he thinks he might crash) he loves to play with Pokemon and gets along well with them he can understand what Pokemon wants alot of the time making it easier for him to be a trainer.

Island:Any Island

Favorite Pokemon:Houndour and Poochyena
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  #16    
Old November 2nd, 2006, 10:03 PM
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Skymin
the gratitude pokémon
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: australia
Age: 21
Nature: Quirky
the fan fic will be on hold for a while, i have to find the USB i use! lol it should be back anytime soon...
now if you want to be in the story, i can only have a few actual "followers" so maybe 4 or 5?
okay , just letting you know
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  #17    
Old November 3rd, 2006, 01:25 PM
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Skymin
the gratitude pokémon
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: australia
Age: 21
Nature: Quirky
Maddy woke up with a start. Last night had been sort of tough, and really tiring. She had been out late, and hurt a bit. But today she would set out to go towards Light City, the next town. By rumours only, it was a big city, and the biggest city on the Clear Island. Maddy packed her stuff. She put her clothes on, her bandana, her shoes and put food, pokeballs and basic supplies. She stuffed the rest that she would need and headed out the door. Eve shrilled in excitement as they walked along.

"Maddy!" She turned around, and saw her mother running towards her.

"Yupp?" Maddy smiled, and realised her mum was half crying.

"Take this, you’ll need it," her mum handed her a PokeBlocks case, a TM Case and a BerryBag.

"Thanks mum," Maddy said with a large grin, and hugged her mum. Eevee made a small chirp, and Maddy’s mum picked Eve and hugged her too.

"Bye, I will see you later!" Maddy’s mum burst into tears as Maddy walked toward the first route, and ready to head towards Kai and his pokemon.

"Hey Maddy! Are you ready?" Kai grinned. He seemed to be packed a bit more than Maddy.

"Yupp, always!" Maddy nodded towards her backpack.

"Allrighty, let’s get to it!" Kai nodded and started to walk in the forest. Skarmory took off and flew above, to keep watch. Gastly just floated, grumbling and muttering. Maddy followed them, and took her bandana off, to let her hair flow in the breeze. Eve got a shock and ran to keep up, as she was tiny, and had to jump to make between Maddy’s footsteps.

Kai stopped and gave Maddy a small smile.

"Hey, wanna have a pokemon battle? Skarmory vs Eevee?" Kai raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Skarmory vs Eve," Maddy corrected him, "Sure! Just don’t cry when you lose!"

"Bring it on, missy!" Kai threw a pokeball up and yelled "GO! Skarmory!"

Maddy smiled a small smile and said to Eve, "Sick ‘im"

Eve turned from a cute Eevee to a vicious dog! It ran towards Skarmory and bit his leg. The skarmory cried in pain and tried to shake Eve off. He succeeded and flew up to the sky.

"Flying type have advantages from the sky, and lightning quick moves!" Kai reminded Maddy.

"I know, I know!" Maddy snapped, trying to think.

"Skarmory! Gust!" Kai ordered, using Maddy’s confusion as an advantage.

"Quickly dodge!" Maddy said, not knowing anything else to say.

Eve tried to dodge, but got caught up in the whirlwind. It became confused, but quickly snapped out of it, as the gust wasn’t all that powerful.

"Eevee!" Eve attacked without Maddy's orders, as she could see that Maddy was in complete confusion. It slammed into skarmory in a mid-jump. Skarmory was hit right in the stomach and fell to the ground. It quickly got up, and used a tackle against Eve. Both Skarmory and Eve looked like they was on their last legs.

Maddy woke up from her trance and yelled "EVE! USE SHADOW BALL!"

Eve generated a dark ball out of no-where. It shot at skarmory, and skarmory dodged. Maddy was really worried, she didn't want to lose to Kai.

"Skarmory! Aim and fire!!" Kai shouted. It seemed like he knew that he was going to win.

Maddy growled. 'Growled?' she thought. 'Only pokemon do that,'

Maddy didn't care. She needed to win. Skarmory was only several feet from Eve. But maybe Maddy could use it to her advantage!

"Eve! Use COUNTER!"

Skarmory dived into Eve, but she knocked it back, sending double damage! Skarmory fell to the ground, fainted.

"Yyeess!" Maddy cheered. She did a little 'In your face!' dance, just to cheese Kai off. He mumbled and returned Skarmory back to it's ball.

"Hmph, well I almost won! It's a wonder how Eve knows all these weird moves!" Kai grumbled.
Maddy went to pick up Eve and hug her, but she wasn't there. Maddy looked around.

"Huh?" Maddy looked around and saw a boy running in the distance.

"Eevee!" Maddy could hear the tiniest faint sound, and she knew what the boy had done.

"Kai! That boy took Eve! Let's go!"

Kai returned Skarmory and ran after him. Maddy followed. The boy was leading into the centre of the forest, so no one could see him. Maddy and Kai followed him to a tree house in the true centre on the forest. The boy climbed up the tree house. Maddy went to follow, but Kai stopped her.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Maddy was puzzled, she needed Eve back!

"Send up a pokemon! Gastly! Go!" Kai quietly grabbed Gastly. Gastly hovered here and there, like a ball of smoke.

"You like to scare, right? Go scare the boy up there!" Kai whispered to Gastly. Gastly smiled happily and hovered into the house. After a minute a scream came and a boy lept out, with Eve in his grasp. Kai caught him as he jumped off the house. The boy was wearing red sweatpants and a white top that had a red scoop symbol in the middle. He had on white Reebok shoes and wore a silver watch. he was also carrying a duffel bag, with items in it (it also had Eve in it). Kai was holding him by the collar of his shirt, but the boy wasn't looking at Kai. He was staring at Maddy, with utter amazement.

"What are you doing with Maddy's pokemon!" Kai growled in the boy's face.

"Maddy? That's a nice name..." The boy stared into the distance.

"What's your name!" Kai continued, as if the last comment wasn't said.

"Ian... Ian Daniels," he also continued to stare at Maddy's face.

Kai had seen his interest in Maddy and quickly said, "Stop staring at Maddy and look at me!"

Ian looked at Kai and said,"Yes?"

"Give Maddy back her Eevee!"

"Oh! It is yours? Excuse me... I thought it was a wild one..."

"Bullcrap! You saw us battling!" Kai growled at Ian.

"Maybe, but I wanted an Eevee..." Ian looked worried.

"Say sorry to Maddy!" Kai pulled him into Maddy's face.

"S-s-sorry M-m-maddy," Ian mumbled.

"Give me back Eve!" Maddy poked him.

"Okay," Ian sadly opened his bag and Eve jumped into Maddy's arms. She hugged Maddy and tried to
stay well away from Ian.

"Can you put me down now?" Ian asked Kai with a plead.

"Oh, sure," Kai put down the small boy. "But! You have to do something to repay us... but what?"
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Last edited by Skymin; November 5th, 2006 at 10:20 PM. Reason: Changing Size, so it can be legible
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  #18    
Old November 3rd, 2006, 08:07 PM
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I wanna be a constant character (follower) PLEASSSE! Also, I'd like Ian to get hold of a Mantine later in the fic...like not so quickly but maybe by the fourth island or town, depending on distance traveled per episode...? This Mantine will be fast moving and cheerful, always spraying kids (usually Ian and Kai but sometimes other people) with bubbles and then thinking its funny. (Just to make the Pokemon unique ya know)


(Line I'd like Ian to use) "How 'bout I help you two out on your journey as a favor? I'd really like to tag along...and besides, I can be around an Eevee. Sorry about earlier..." All shyness gone, he shouted to them, "Just don't sick that Gastly on me anymore!" Now he was glaring at them in anger, but quickly cooled down.

(He is only shy or frustrated when he has just begun to get used to a situation, like Kai grabbing him after he stole Eve. Usually though, he doesn't let people mess with him like that just so ya know. Otherwise though, you nailed the preffered personality of Ian!)

One question...how many islands are there, or have ya not decided?

-------------------------------------------Review below*

This is coming along okay. Big chunks of text like the one starting the recent chapter should be indented. Keep up the good work, and thanks for adding in Ian so soon!
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Old November 3rd, 2006, 08:14 PM
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AUGH!!! The tiny font hurts my eyes!!! T_T, Im sorry, but I just dont wanna go blind reading your fic

Oh and ProtrainerEon, Check out her RP for the number of islands she has. Her FF and RP are basically a parallel, at least in setting!


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lol
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Old November 3rd, 2006, 08:43 PM
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Thanks Latias. In that case, Mantine could be found on this Island, or the one that has water. Ya know, water type Pokemon?

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Old November 3rd, 2006, 08:53 PM
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lol....
Just to let you know Eon, Latia's name is Kai...
that's where i got the name from
and also, im thinking of adding more islands to the elemental islands
how cool would it be, if someone made a hack of it?
lol oh well

EDIT: oh, about the poll, being so in the future to end, i just wanted the poll to last ages
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  #22    
Old November 4th, 2006, 02:32 PM
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Ahh, so that's who Kai is, I mean where the name originated.

A hack? New islands? Those both rock! There should be an Island called Time Island and another called Space island. These two could have legendaries on them (Time - Celebi) (Space - Mew maybe..?), or some strange kind of Pokemon. You should make up your own also if you get bored with the same old ones, now that I'm on that topic. Ever consider it?

Sorry, just throwing out ideas...don't listen to me!!! XD
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Old November 4th, 2006, 03:02 PM
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time and Space? but are they elements?
i might have on each island that they have a pokemon thats "legendarie" to them..
Any ideas for Clear Island?
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Old November 4th, 2006, 08:55 PM
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Clear Island? Uh...Lugia? Or create a normal type legendary, maybe...? Maybe the 3 Regis! Yeah, that is kinda fitting. Or even just Regice. Ice makes me think "clear."

Well, that any help? Buh bye!
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Old November 4th, 2006, 11:04 PM
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Maybe Regigigas should rule Clear Island...eh?
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