View Full Version : The Deepest Place

Random Plushie
September 18th, 2007, 6:52 PM
..because I realized that it does take you to a very deep place.

The Deepest Place

Caught in a pattern of soft, sunset light
But still falling into utter despair
She listens to the voices of anger
And the explosions upon the stair

Her heart is pulled dangerously downward
Drenched in a puddle of tears
She stands there, cold and alone
Though two of her family are near

Hate and fear
And fear and hate
Distract all thoughts

She longs for harmony and care

Much later comes mumbled apologies
Hugs and regretful stares
And all the usual attempts
To bring comfort and repair

They have no idea of the damage they caused
In their fit of disgusting madness
They have no idea that she was trapped

In the deepest pits of sadness

melod.ii ous demyx~♪
September 18th, 2007, 8:05 PM
t-t beautiful.
I love the stanzas. (I think that's the term, I'm no professional poet...)

I love the title though, and the whole idea.
Because dang, I can relate... in a sense.

Nice poem, it's just so darn sad! You're writing is beauful though.

Random Plushie
September 20th, 2007, 10:15 PM

Aw, thanks for that!! ^^ Nice to know that someone
actually appreciated my writing.. got kinda scared
that it turned out too emo. xD

Hey, maybe I'll come back and post happier
poems.. if my dang school allows..

September 24th, 2007, 5:49 PM
Wow, that's was beautiful! The words you chose to describe everything and the flow/rhythm was great. It's a very powerful piece, and very very sad. Readers can really feel the pain of the girl when reading it. It's wonderfully done! =)