View Full Version : Unity

November 19th, 2007, 4:33 PM
A couple summers ago my local mosque went bankrupt and had to relocate, while we were looking for a new location a church in the area actually opened up a part of their building just for us to pray in until we found a stable location, I thought it was beutiful having Muslims and Christians praying under one roof, you don't really see that nowadays but yea, those events as well as the way muslims are normally viewed inspired me to write this and i was just hoping to get some feedback

In a time of need they took us in with open arms
Instead of bustin out their threats and pullin out their harms
All the Muslims and Christians praying under one roof
Instead of having the cold indifference and standing aloof
You can tell me things can never really stay this way
Yet for an entire summer
We went to a Church faced Mecca and prayed away
No tentions no differences just our faith and our prayers
Voices calling to the heavens rising up in these layers
No hatred nor discrimination just harmony together
But even now I guess it won't last forever
Just like the golden age of spain the harmony will sever
And we won't be able to make it through our endeavor
Misunderstandings and prejudice constantly renew
An entire group is blamed for the actions of a few
An issue may be solved but comes back anew
Provin that maybe we can't all make it straight through
Is it really just human nature that leaves us all broken?
Or is it sheer ignorance that is our dark token?
Our hatred our flaws and our mishaps have spoken
so finally
we can't seem to find the strengh to bring our unity back
no community intact, its just proving we can't
keep ourselves together on the right track

melod.ii ous demyx~♪
November 19th, 2007, 7:11 PM
Really Really amusing.
I had to comment, because I darn well loved this.

It's really fun, especially if it's read outloud, lol, I read it in a rap style but it worked well.

It seems very meaningful to you, and it's awesome that something like that can happen.

The only critisism I have that might make it flow a little better is taking some of the words you kept with full "ings" at the end, and cutting off the "gs" ... mainly in the first 4 lines~

Anyways, I actually liked this piece. I thought it was organized nicely, and brings a good true message. ^-^ kudos~

November 19th, 2007, 7:41 PM
lol thanks its supposed to be in rap style

Romance Hero
November 20th, 2007, 5:50 PM
I understand what you say when you see two conflicting groups like that. I've never seen two different religions in peace, since the Christians rule our neighborhood... and they're trying to force non-christians to switch faiths.

...Sorry for carrying off, okay... Not a big rap fan, I personally don't listen to it, because of the loose language it is spoken in, but your's was quite worth the read.

Our hatred our flaws and our mishaps have spoken
we can't seem to find the strength to bring our unity back

Ignorance is a wonderful little thing, isn't it? :]

no community intact, its just proving we can't
keep ourselves together on the right track

Your right about this, and it's really like an ethical opinion almost every peace-aspiring individual thinks. But it sucks that we can't agree on things and give up some of our ways of life, even if it meant on the brink of extinction, I don't think-not likely anyway- man would be willing to share on opinions and ideas.

Thanks for that outbreak from my regular read of works. Your theme is a wonderful topic, and your words inspiring. I would be willing to see more from you.

November 21st, 2007, 3:45 PM
thanks for the comment I'm glad you liked it, my subject manner is pretty different from most other rappers since i don't really like mainstream rap it really just pisses me off, i'm more of an underground style rapper and i write about things most rappers wouldn't normally touch on because it doesn't sell...i could care less how much i sell i just write what i want and what i feel so i'm glad you liked it man