View Full Version : Light to Night

kei ochima
May 30th, 2008, 4:59 PM
I woke up one morning, the sun was so bright
The flowers were blooming, a beautiful sight
I thought about my friends and how we would play
I was so lucky on this beautiful day

I woke up one morning, there were clouds in the sky
Something felt different, the birds did not fly
A man with a gun told me where I could play
Things sure got cloudy, on that cold windy day

I woke up one morning, it was black as the night
The flowers were dying, it was a terrible sight
No playing today, just do as your told
I was scared and lonely, without the light I was cold

I woke up one morning, and felt nothen inside
We ran and we ran but could not hide
With my mom and dad, we all wanted to fight
But they had a mission, to turn out our light.


June 2nd, 2008, 7:34 AM
This is gripping; it evidently has a story of the norm being changed into a life threatening situation. It does leave the reader wanting to see more, but i don't know what direction you could take it if you extended on it. Suprise me :) Good poem.

kei ochima
June 2nd, 2008, 2:17 PM
thank you very much. when i think of another one then i will post it ASAP. thanks again. =)