View Full Version : Superjub's Comic Gallery/Pokemon Fawna

June 6th, 2008, 1:37 PM
This is my first sprite comic.
Anyway, this is just the introduction so you may not understand who or what something is. Anyway,

Character Bios:
Bradley (Brad)
Age: 14
BIO: Bradley is a young quiet boy. He is inspired by his older brother wo is now the Kanto champ.Brad aims in being the Fawna (This region.) champ. But can he beat his brother to it?
Pokemon: None yet.

Story: Somewhere in the distant region of Fawna is a sinister group out to catch a pokemon. Can Brad and his friends save the region from its destruction. Many old characters like a girl with pink hair from pokemon XD will return on the side of Team Shadow. Also there is a new set of leaders and a Grand Tournament coming up as well. What will happen.

1. Introduction: http://i306.photobucket.com/albums/nn243/SuperjubVX/PokemonFawnaIntroduction.png

Recent comic:

Also credit to Kyledove for the tileset and Kike for the sprites recoloured by me.

June 6th, 2008, 2:54 PM
So, uh, yeah. What're the red stuff in the last panel?

June 7th, 2008, 12:04 AM
Yeah what is that red things in the last panel??

June 7th, 2008, 3:21 AM
Looks like there has been a drive by, by the looks of the last image.

June 7th, 2008, 2:59 PM
As in they got ran over, relating to the "Life sucks sometimes!"?

Also, fix your grammar and don't waste space where there aren't words (I'm talking about the speech bubbles). For example, in the first panel on the top-right, there's nothing there.

June 7th, 2008, 3:52 PM
Is it just me or did you spell Chikorita wrong? Or is it really with a C and I'm being an idiot?

You should probably make the text itallic when it is thoughts and normal when it is descriptive, etc. Something to distinguish when he is saying something out loud and when he is thinking.

Watch out for your and you're

And for Can't.

Oh and if its pretty late, shouldn't you make it look like night or something? XP

Lol Poor Girl XP hehehe

Weatherman, Kiyoshi
June 7th, 2008, 5:00 PM
Well... I'm not going to lie to you.

It's not Bad for a first comic, my first comic was WAY worse.
that's probably why it was never realeased in public.

however, it's not good.
at all.

you should work on grammer (spell check in microsoft before letting go of the text box), bigger, nicer panels would be nice, place of blood (like when the kids got killed, and the blood landed way over on the fence 0_o), some character developing, better speach bubbles, and some... less cliches. The only time you should be using cliches is when your making fun of them. "cause the way your telling me the comic is going to be like, er... *yawn* I've heard it a thousand times. literally. Uniqueness always gets the gold. or views, in this case. Not to mention effects. when The mother said "It's getting late! get in bed!" I got the idea from the daylight that it was like... mid-day. not time-for-bed time. The only part is the joke I always like- the image not related to the storyline where massave death happens and the characters ignore it. =D

anyway, good luck. You'll need it.