View Full Version : Corrupted Mentality

December 8th, 2008, 10:29 PM
No edits. Just straight writing for 3 minutes.
My head hurts so much, but I need to write 4 more pages...

I'll get about an hour of sleep tonight.

[css-div="width:400px;border:1px solid black;background-color: white; padding: 20px;background:url('http://www.free-background-wallpaper.com/images/Wallpapers1280/pebbles-stones/Sand.jpg');"]Corrupted Mentality
The last breaths of the flowsand
Call out to you. A whistling cry
For unrequited love - the chill of eventide.
Slithering dunes envelop the soul;
Glistening night amber transposed on
The obsidian darkness of night. The seiren's verse
Echoes through the bowels of society.
You, the lone nomad
Listen attentively.
The frozen fortitude of the intestines
Is shattered by the icy touch
Of life after death.
Embalmed in uncertainty -
As a single droplet in a sea of sand -
A chthonic storm of locusts -
The ephemeral hourglass drops the final grain.
Beckoning, kissing on the zephyrs,
It wants you.
Embrace it.

Glitter Stain
December 18th, 2008, 2:50 PM
I know there are poems without any rhyme, rhythm, or structure... but I don't see the point if it's hard to read/follow at points and has a cryptic meaning that may or may not be worth interpreting.

December 18th, 2008, 9:44 PM
fyi. It's a poem about sleep... Because I was tired and restless.
It doesn't have any profound meaning because it was written on the spur of the moment.

Personally, I think it's a piece of crap XD
Of course, it's open to your interpretation though.

December 20th, 2008, 9:05 AM
Wow. Beautiful word usage, and I love your style. It's very interesting and I hope to see more from you.