View Full Version : pokemon wide world series 1

The Sceptile King
August 6th, 2009, 5:38 PM
ring!!!ring!!!ring!!!It was 10:00 am and it was Dylan's 10th birthday.Dylan's father:Koga was teaching new ningas and
his sister was gone for a long journey through Hoenn.So that ment that he was in charge of the gym for a while!!
Dylans lifelong dream was to be in charge of the gym.As he walked down the stairs his mom said this"Hi Dylan your sister
called and said that you should go out and have an adventure like her""but mom"Dylan said"oh right the gym
I can deal with it,go and get a pokemon from prof.elm he is the new prof here""ok mom." as Dylan walked to professors
lab across Fuchia city he saw many pokemon from the safari zone when he got to the door he was trembeling with fear
"Well hello there you must be Dylan"a strange man said "yes"Dylan said "I am prof.Elm I have three pokemon for you:
Cyndaquil,Chickorita,and Totodile go ahead and pick one"Dylan picked Totodile"here is a pokedex and some pokeballs"
"Thank you professor"Dylan eventually got to digets cave his totodile was now lv.13 "Totodile use water gun"
Totodile blast a shot of water hit the diglet"alright now!!" he tossed a pokkeball it shook 3 times and it stopped shacking
"yes I caught It"dylan said

so how do you like it any feedbackwould be appreciated

August 6th, 2009, 7:53 PM
Really needs to be written in a word processing program and read over by a beta reader.

It's very confusing, written in an unreadable manner, and needs a lot of improvement.

Closed for not meeting the standards of this section.