View Full Version : w00t! I did something!

November 6th, 2004, 9:43 AM
Well, here's my bad poem!

~Super Cute Happy Time Poem~

Who would care about me when I die?
Let alone embrace me when I cry?
Why should I fear another man?
If I can do anything he can?
Who would care if I'm in pain?
Why people fuss if I'm insane?
Why nobody talks to me?
Why can't anybody let me be?
Why am I so confused?
Why do I constantly rufuse?
Why can't I be accepted?
Why must I be rejected?
Who would care if I live?
Nobody knows me, why should I give?
Who will enter my world?
The mind of a confused girl...

Well sweeties, I got bored! XD This isn't based on me. *Obvouisly. XD* It's more based on a friend IRL. Whatcha thinkie?

November 6th, 2004, 9:53 AM
Jeremy, nice job dawg! i'm glad u took the time to post here in the poetry section and double-happy that it was actually a good poem, even if the title was misleading XD
^ ^ 8/10

November 6th, 2004, 9:59 AM
Good job, Jeremy! ^^ I really like it. I dont think its bad at all. Keep up the good work!

November 6th, 2004, 10:43 AM
I like it a lot, although it is very depressing. ;.;

November 6th, 2004, 11:47 AM
Wow Jeremy that is very good! It really touched me. *rates a 5*

November 6th, 2004, 11:51 AM
nice 1 reflects my life jk

November 6th, 2004, 1:38 PM
Wow, Jeremy! I knew there was a true poet in you. ^_~ I like the basicness of the poem, but the flow could use a little bit of work. Maybe try using some more abstract words to make it more mystifying. Otherwise, good job! ^^


November 7th, 2004, 6:22 PM
Thankie sweeties! ^0^ *Hugs.* This is my first poem I did that wasn't about me or my family, and the first one I posted here. ^.^

November 9th, 2004, 5:55 PM
I think it's funny, but the title doesn't suit it :P