View Full Version : UNTITLED

July 27th, 2010, 1:46 AM
I decided i'd have a little go at some shorts after reading House of Leaves, which I recommend to everyone because it is that interesting :)

Note: The writing is deliberately being skewed around, to highlight the effects of the main character. Paragraphs are broken up, with mixed narrative, alternate stories and discussions purposely in order to give a wierd feeling about the story.

Note: Considering this is my first attempt at writing something, constructive criticism, even harsh criticism would be appreciated.


• a face in the cloud, no trace in the crowd.

August 9, 1993.

Eugen was doing the ordinary as he always would, he had just finished arguing with his mother about leaving the heater on in his room while he was in the shower, saying he likes a warm room before he goes to bed. As usual, his mother would disagree without a reason, probably knowing she had no reason to. Eugen, as usual finished his shower and was getting dressed, brushing his teeth, preparing to go to bed. A routine check of his face in the mirror to see if he had any pimples would follow, but this time, he looked closer into the mirror, deep into his eyes... and screamed.

July 27, 1999.

Ordinary would be the last word that would cross Eugen's mind, he knew he was in a state of paranoia, he knew it very clearly. Every day was another scary process, darkness shrouded every corner causing spontaneous twitches every other minute. But it was that one incident that shook Eugen the most, and his whole family to be precise. But to date, Eugen cannot recall what happened, and his parents do not wish to tell him the way they found him, he was left to ponder that in those brief moments when he knew he was safe, those were rare occasions. Eugen only felt safe in a few places, his closet and any other closet for that matter, he felt safe their because simple, he knew nothing could come out of it if he was in there, what was on the other side he didn't want to think about though. Eugen had woken up at 6:30 that morning, and had not realized hours had passed since he rushed into his closet, hearing his mothers footsteps coming up those god forsaken steps, he rushed to try and make something productive of himself.
His mother opened the door, and without hesitation shrieked "Eugen, you have school today, get dressed..."
"Yes mother..." Eugen's reply was loft hearted to say the least.
Eugen had not heard his mothers discouragement, or any of her discouragement to date, that was a fact. And luckily, he had not heard it this instance as well, when she was walking down those stairs...
"Blasted kid." she mumbled.

That day at school was again ordinary, in the eyes of Eugen, but his eyes were the last thing that were normal. Each second they would flicker from space to space, for what reason Eugen would have no clue of, his eyes were moving completely involuntary, it was confusing his brain. Each second he sat down at those tables was another second wasted to something imaginary, to him though, he never had anything imaginary in his head, friends were a thing of the past in his condition. He was stuck in the middle of his Literature class, a class he had chosen out of pure curiousity, but there were more curious things floating around Eugen's head. His eyes made yet another flicker, except this time it pained him to see through them, he quickly covered his left eye with his palm, unaware of what that eye had seen, his eyes were detached from his brains nervous system, not physically, but rather psychologically. When he opened his eyes, he stared straight ahead, this time, in full control. What he had seen to this day no one knows... but again, he screamed.

Eugen was a proud student, he never complained or for that fact overestimated himself in school. Openly discussing his theories about, well, what he thought. To him, light, sound, the mind, were all topics that crossed his head all through the day, to describe it best, it was, nonsense, distraught, constant bickering, useless information, superficial, the list of words could go on. He had believed sound was vision, and vision was sound, but where did the mind fit into all of this? His mind had no control over anything, Eugen's whole body acted by itself, unconscious feelings and behaviours that took control of his day to day routine. He had no say.
His mother had no say.
His dead father had no say.
The world had no say.
This paragraph is about as useless as the nonsense, distraught, constant bickering, useless information, superficial stuff that Eugen went through every day.
But for god knows why, we can't stop either.
One day maybe, I will scream.

July 28th, 2010, 1:29 AM
That night, Eugen sat there in his bed, unable to stay still.
What had happened today? What did he see? Did he see anything for that matter. What did his eyes see, or was he the one controlling them this occasion, there was too much for Eugen's brain to uncover yet alone handle. Maybe it was his brain. The truth behind those events may never be told. Eugen was left there, staring sideways at a smiley ball on his table, never before had his mind been so, consumed by thought. What Eugen didn't know was that he was staring at a blank wall that very moment the incident happened, he had said seen so much yet saw nothing. For the first time, fog covered the mirror in the bathroom.
Eugen did not scream.

[What happened? You make sense of it.]

scrambled all over

July 29, 1999.

Puzzled by the recent events, Eugen felt like he needed to search for answers, but the most sickening feeling took over him. He was on the train to school and spotted that very same shadowy blur, but he didn't flinch, he wasn't scared, before he could have any of those reactions, he fainted. He fainted to calmly, in such a way the other passengers thought he simply fell asleep. That very sickening feeling was that his mind was wide awake, but he could not wake himself up, a black dream, paralyzing him. Left to remain this way, he had time to brainstorm what was exactly going on with him.

[The best theory he could come up with was that he was blind, and yet visions took over him on a daily basis, what was to see? Bat's used supersonic sounds that bounce off objects to 'see', much like radars in a submarine, just on an advanced level. Eugen was no bat, to this day, he has forgotten what he actually believed.]

Eugen woke up.

This was the moment that,



He was stuck in an unknown place, this was when he was scared. Walking outside of the train, he saw nothing familiar, but it was the last stop. Reaching down to his pocket to check his phone, he had 12 missed calls and plenty of messages.

All from his mother.

And then again...
that sickening fe
eling. nobody ca

July 29th, 2010, 1:17 AM
When Eugen woke up, he quickly grasped his head, feeling some sought of pain. When he gazed back at his hand it revealed a large splatter of blood, oozing down from the top of his head. A man came walking over to Eugen, and with an amazed look upon his face spoke to him.
"Are you alright kid?" his voice sounding gentle, yet concerned.
Eugen strangely, replied "I think so"
"Some guy in a grey tank top came and hit you over the head with a skateboard, took all your stuff and darted."
Eugen spoke as he helped himself off the ground.
"I'll be alright." And without another word, walked off.

You would have to feel for this kid, he just had his stuff stolen after getting hit on the head, now what was lost seems gone. Eugen of course.

highlighting changed to red in further references.

Walking calmly through this unknown town, he was actually panicking on the inside, profoundly to say the least. There was no means of communication, and the recent occurrence left people untrustworthy around these parts. With his bag gone, he had no money, no phone (figure it out yourself), no train ticket, no identity. Eugen was now another face in the clouds. Best place to start as usual, the police department, but after a brief look around and reminder of how strange this place looked, Eugen came to a conclusion, there was no police department.
"F---" he said.
F--- was the best thing to say at the moment, the only thing to say, it gave him some relief even though he knew he was screwed... badly.
"F---, F---, F---!"
Again more relief.

F--- had become a powerful word in modern literature, it bluntly describes everything. In a nutshell, it is beautifully created, but we associate it negatively, unfortunately. During this writing, my pen ran out of ink. Ironically, I was as lost as Eugen, but my solution was in a cupboard in another room.
I should stop now.

We are lonely, they fooled us once again*, we are the loneliest of men. All of your friends are gone. Eugen sat in the corner of a bus stop, ironically not to evade fairs, but to figure out his next stop. For once Eugen wished to reach his mother, but her extension cord didn't reach that far*.

*First reference; See Anthony Green, Dear Child.
* Second reference; See Circa Survive, All of your friends are gone.
Don't forget to read that those
two references are in the wrong order.

Eugen took a quick glance sideways, a map was pinned on the bus stop. His eyes took him to one particular location, the skate park.


For further references, this story contains no chapters.



F - - -
T H A T.

As Eugen translated his thoughts into motion, a 20 dollar note would proceed his way. The duration it to to get to him was no longer then three seconds, he picked it up.
"Oi! Kid!" A stranger saw this, and screamed, knowing it was his money.
One thought crossed Eugen's mind, run. And so he was back to the start, his thoughts into motions. It would take him no longer then ten minutes to reach the skate park, and no longer then half a second to notice it was buried in rubble. No need to think about it, the man probable knocked him out in an act of rebellion, though that man had another thing coming. Without further ado, we present to you, Eugen. A large boy who always wars lone sleeves, built even if it may not seem like it. He crossed over the rubble to only reveal to himself, this place has no end. A sound in the background alerted him the 20 dollar man had not given up.
Eugen darted.

We come to understand the 20
dollar man as his reference, an
average bloke.

But lets not judge a book by it's cover, no matter how ugly
this book is.

F--- that, lets.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx idiot.