View Full Version : Polyamory

August 4th, 2011, 4:57 AM


Polyamory: It is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Polyamory, unlike polygamy, is not defined by marriage. Thus, unless the relationships violate any standing state laws, they are out of judicial purview-- but do not receive the legal and tax benefits and responsibilities as assigned by registered marriage.

Should polyamorous lovers be able to marry? Adopt?

Also, what types of problems arise in these relationships? Jealousy?

I personally believe that these relationships are much more complex than a monogamous couple. If you have just 3 people in this relationship there is essentially three sets of couples. I think that, especially with odd numbered relationships, that an individual might feel left out, like the fifth wheel. Although I think the odds are greatly against these relationships, I think that a healthy polyamorous relationship is possible.

With consent, I believe that these relationships should be permissible to marry. After that legal contract, I believe that they should be able to adopt as a group rather than an individual. For adoption, I think that the regulations and screening must be very stringent. Also, if two people within the relationship have a child, I think that the others should be able to have some type of legal parental rights over the child, but not full. I think that I would be just as wrong to deny the legitimacy of these relationships, as those who deny the legitimacy of same-sex couples.

Shining Raichu
August 4th, 2011, 5:04 AM
Wouldn't polyamorous people marrying turn them polygamous?

Personally, I don't see a problem with it. Anyone should be able to do what makes them happy without people trying to stop them from having it legally recognised. If something doesn't involve you, don't involve yourself in it. So yes, they should be allowed to marry.

As for adoption, of course! A loving home with a group of parents is still better than an adoption centre. A loving home is best for the child, no matter how many parents there are in the household. "Is the home loving and able to take care of the child" is really the only consideration that should be taken into account when deciding on adoption cases.

August 4th, 2011, 7:37 AM
I don't like the idea of having multiple partners, but probably only for personal reasons, such as religion (non-Muslim), and how I see things as normal or abnormal. Things like polyamory and polygamy, to me, are out of the norm (I won't argue further only because it's opinion and what I saw for past 17 years of my life). I also believe that having multiple wives degrade women's status in society further.

August 4th, 2011, 7:54 AM
I don't see the problem with it as long as everyone is consenting adults. The same thing for polygamy. I would never be in a multi-partner relationship, I'm just a very..monogamous person. But I don't see a problem with it. I don't see how it's degrading to woman. Polygamy does not say only men can have multiple wives (well, it does when Religion defines it). Women could have multiple husbands. Religion says it's alright. And just because it's not the norm that doesn't make it bad. Neither are gay marriage or interracial marriage but there is nothing wrong with those (in my opinion.)

Mainly because I don't give a crap who people who sex with, how they have sex with them, so on and so forth. And I don't think anyone else should..i's kind of creepy to care at all..ಠ_ಠ

August 4th, 2011, 8:11 AM
Well, here are my views on polyamory/polygamy:

I, myself, would never do this because I could never feel comfortable doing so. In my book, the one you get with is the only one you're intimate with until that relationship ends for whatever reason. Any intimacy with anyone else is cheating.

As far as other people doing it, it's OK as long as all people involved actively know that the person is with multiple people and all people involved fully accept that. As long as everyone agrees, it's perfectly fine with me.

August 4th, 2011, 9:18 AM
Regarding adoption: there's nothing wrong with single parents and nothing wrong with having two parents, and for economic reasons it's often beneficial, so three parents sounds even better. If you have three people in a relationship isn't that like having one more parent than the "standard" two parents? That would give each of them more time to relax or have a job to make enough to support a kid, or, if they're really into raising a kid, more time to spend with a child.

Regarding relationships: I've never been in a situation like this. I only one person personally who has and he said it eventually felt uneven (of course he's in his early twenties and the other two were in their forties and had already been living together for a while so those might be the bigger factors) and wasn't all that healthy for him in the end so he got out of it. It sort of colors my view, but I'm not going to assume a polyamorous relationship is going to be uneven.

August 4th, 2011, 4:22 PM
I know several polyamorous.. er, "couples," who have been together for years. Several of them claim being in a polyamorous relationship helps overcome feelings of jealousy or possession towards each other. They seem happy enough and it appears to work for them.

August 4th, 2011, 4:41 PM
I know several polyamorous.. er, "couples," who have been together for years. Several of them claim being in a polyamorous relationship helps overcome feelings of jealousy or possession towards each other. They seem happy enough and it appears to work for them.

Are they the same gender? Are they even numbers?

I think that for some people, a polyamous relationship could be beneficial. As far as sexuality goes, I think that homosexual/bisexual polyamorous relationships would be the least stressful. But if there are two guys, and a girl, and the guys are not sexually interested in each other, I can see jealousy being a big problem. I guess sexual attraction among all those involved in the relationship would be the most successful, and a sense of equality.

August 4th, 2011, 5:59 PM
To each his own. I see no problem with it.

August 4th, 2011, 6:09 PM
Like Gay adoption, Polyamorous adoptions should be accepted.

A polyamorous relationship can work indeed, with 3 or even 4 or more. It's just a matter of matching, if all members participate and love each other fully and equally...then why not? It may not be common, but that doesn't mean people don't have that right!

August 4th, 2011, 6:18 PM
I see nothing wrong with fully honest, trustful loving relations between/among multiple people. It works for some people -- the reason it doesn't work for others isn't because of polyamory's inherent flaws but because of jealousy / people not treating each other right ... something that, surprise!, ruins many monogamous relationships day after day.

I also believe that polyamorous adoptions should be accepted. Better a home with the love of many parents than no home -- as long as the parents are good, then it's cool. The only problems I can see arising are with existing laws that treat parents as two, which can be reworded, or with custody in the event of a relationship disintegration, which is, again, a problem with monogamous relationships as well.

Sadly I do not see them as likely in the USA or my own country, Australia, in the near future.