View Full Version : Survival of the Dumbest!

January 1st, 2005, 3:21 PM
Hey sweeties! It's me Mecha Joseph ;) I'm working on a story called Survival of the Dumbest! It has a cast of Charecters ranging from Pokemon,to sonic,to Mario,and to,well,A lot of places! Also be aware that all charecters are called by their real names(the Biggest situation is Tails,remember,he is Miles) With that Set aside,Here's my first Chapter! Enjoy Sweeties! :P

Note: The following Story is Rated PG-13
Language SexualContact(eventualy you pervs XD) Violence

Please Enjoy!

Chapter One: The Chaos Controlinataer

Ash: Ahhhhhh! What a beautiful day,eh Pikachu?
Ash awaits pikachu's reply,but is returned with silence.
Ash: Huh Pikachu? (turning around)
Pikachu: (Leaping out of the bushes) PIKA!
Ash: (with a rabid looking Pikachu on his head) AHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF,GET IT OFF!
Inocent bystander: Oh my! (points hose right at pikachu,but actualy begins to drown Ash)
Ash: (drowning)Help me *gurgle* HELP! *gurgle gurgle*
Innocent bystander: Opps! (turns hose off.)
Ash breaths heavily,and eventualy manages to catch his breath
Ash: Whew!
Pikachu: Pika,pi ka pikachu! Chu chu! Pipikachu! (Seriously Ash,it's not my fault!)
Ash: (attempting to hide his anger) Pi................ka................chu, YOU DO NOT WANT TO MAKE MAD AGAIN THIS HOUR AGAIN,DO YOU?
Pikachu: Pi(but!)
Ash: Quiet!! It's time to go home any way!
Pikachu: (ears drooping)Pikapikachuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.........

Meanwhile,in a remote forest:
Note in the following passage I will imediately translate the pokemon's speech
Bulbasaur: Hey,dude,what's that thing?
Weedle: I,like,don't know man.
Ivysaur: (staring at a little blue creature with yellow tips,and a hand to his mouth)No.
Bulbasaur and Weedle: ?
Bulbasaur: Bro just tell us what it is!
Ivysaur: that's.....that's........that's.....A CHAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Runs away screwaming his head off)
Bulbasaur: A chao?
Weedle: It's like,so cute man!
Outside the forest,screams of what apear to be those a Bulbasaur and Weedle are heard:
Chao with blood gushing out his mouth: Gaa!

Meanwhile,In Mobious
Sonic: (Yawn!) Man I'm bored as heck!
Miles: Hey Sonic,have you seen my newest.......
Sonic: Yeah Tails,i've seen your newest watchyamathingamaboper!
Miles: But I just made it!
Sonic: If that's the case(jumps up) LET'S GO!
(Later in Mystic Ruins)
Sonic: So uh,I guesse,to your lab?
Miles: (Panting and trying to keep up with Sonic)Uh *pant pant* huh!
Sonic: aw,come on Tails you can't be tired yet!(Jets up to Miles' workshop)
Miles: Aw come on! Sonic!
(When Miles gets up to his workshop he tells Sonic to come in with him.
Sonic does as asked,and walks in to discover there is a big machine in the middle of the lab.)
Sonic:Tails,what's that?
Miles: That,Sonic, is a Parralellunivershydrogenermanationvirtraflicknomiginogetabinosabbo Machine!
Sonic: Uh huh............What?
Miles: (sigh) It's simple! It's a-
Sonic: Save your breath there buddy!
Miles: but-
Sonic: Just tell me what it does!
Miles: It creates a virtual Chaos Control!
Sonic: And you named it THAT?!?!?! Why not,The "Chaos Conltrolinater"?
Miles: Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I don't know! Any way,just keep in mind that this button(Points to pretty button that says: Press me for happiness!)Can never be pressed!
Sonic: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo k,why the cheesy message?
Miles: It's All the button shop had! Just remember,it will destroy Mobius,and suck it into an Alternate Universe if pressed!
Sonic: Is it just me,or do you always seem to create things that will destroy the earth if pressed,and all you have to do is slip on this slippery--(Slips on Miles' Slippery floor)WOAH!(Slips and accidently presses the button)Uhoh
Miles: SONIC NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Suddenly a wind begins to pick up,and Sucks all things in Mobius into a dark and mysterious void. However,The void emptys into a strange place by the name of:Kanto

To be continued.............................

Please rate me so far! Ohhhh,I hope you enjoy it!

January 1st, 2005, 5:56 PM
Well,I havn't gotten any replies,so here's chapter 2!

Chapter Two: The Chao Are Dangerous
In a Magical Kingdom by the Name of:The Mushroom Kingdom
Mario:What the Heck is-a that?
Luigi:Looks like-a somthing you and-a Peach would -a make after about-a 9 Months of waiting!
Mario:Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Luigi!
Luigi(Laughing his but off):Oh hohohohoh! Eh hahahahahahahah!
Mario(Grabs his hammer and prepares to strike)
Mario: Die-a Luigi!

Meanwhile,In a dark Void:
Sonic: Well great Tails! You HAD to press your button didn't you?
Miles:But Sonic-
Sonic:Ububub! Now we know you didn't mean to,but still!
Miles sighs and turns to look for other signs of life. Suddenly out of nowhere,A voice was heard
???: Oh Sonic! I'm so happy you're here! I know you can help us get out of here!
Sonic: I don't like where this is going!Let me guesse,
Sonic&Miles: Amy
Sonic&Miles get huge sweatdrops! However,a door was suddenly opening on the other side of the bottom of the void.
Miles: Hey Sonic,Wait up!
Amy: Awwwww,guys! Wait for me!
Sonic goes rushing out of the void,with Miles right behind him,and Amy panting in the back!
As sonic breaks out of the door,he is greeted by someone yelling for help, followed by two wierd sounding screams. As he comes to a halt,he sees a chao crawling around.
Sonic: Hey little guy! Are you lost?
Chao: (Shivering) Uhnhuh
Sonic: Oh,looks like you have some fruit punch dripping out of your mouth,but.it.is.too.thick....to........be....punch
The chao suddenly bites Sonic in the leg,and blood squirts out,Miles and Amy show up just in time to see the horrific Scene
Miles: (trying to hold back from inducing vomiting) Disgusting!
Sonic: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Geeze little fella! You're pretty fiesty,huh?
The chao completely ignores him and goes for the other leg!
Sonic: Oh no you don't!
Sonic jumps up and bounces right on top of the chao!
Amy: *sniff* S-s-s-SONIC!*sniff*
Amy immediatly starts crying. Sonic and Miles have no idea what is going on when suddenly....
???: Pika pi!PIKA PI! Pikachuchachuchu!!
Sonic: what in the hell................

To be continued..........................

January 1st, 2005, 9:04 PM
The only real gripe I have with this is that for script format, you should put the narrative at least in some kind of parenthases. I usually use these <> for the narrative. That aside, it's not too bad.

January 2nd, 2005, 2:22 PM
Yay! a good rating :P Any way,here's chapter 3. If you couldn't tell,it's mainly a Sonic Fic,with other side stories :P

Chapter three:Boy meets hedgehog!

In the Mushroom Kingdom:
Mario:Luigi! I'm-a gonna kill you!
Peach: Boys,boys,stop fighting!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mario and Luigi turn to find the Princess gone,with the Wierd little Blue and yellow thing standing where she had been.
Mario: Hey-a,where did she-a go?

Back to Sonic:
Sonic What the hell is that thing?
Amy: Looks Like a yellow Chao on Chaos emeralds!(Note:In this sense,Chaos Emeralds are like drugs or something!)
Miles:According to my Computer,that thing is just an oversized Pika!
???: Chu!
Amy:awwwwwwwwww,and it says chu! I call it a Chupika!
???2: Hey what are you doing to Pikachu!?
Amy: HE'S CHUPIKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
???2: Pikachu, say what you are!
Amy: Ha! he said chupika!
???2: (Sigh)Pikachu,come here!
Chu/Pika/Chu(now known as Pikachu) jumped out of Amy's arms,and into the arms of ???2
???2:That's better Pikachu!
Sonic: Oh lord,can you show us where the Nearest Pika breeding grounds are,uuum,uuuh..
???2:Ketchum,Ash Ketchum
Sonic: Oh nice spoof there retard!
Ash:You think so? Anway,you can find plenty of pikachu in Viridian Forest! But be sure to bring plenty of Pokballs and antidotes,and maby some potions too!
Ash:What? Did I say something wrong?
Sonic: Just what in the hell are you talking about? We don't need potions,or antidotes! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog for god's sake!
Sonic,Amy,and Miles Gasp loudly,as Ash looks completly clueless
Sonic:you're not from Mobius are you?
Ash: Where?
Sonic: (sigh) A tourist,and he doesn't even know where he's going. Poor guy!
Ash: I'm not a tourist,I happen to live here in Pallet Town!
Sonic: Ummmm uhhhhh,Tails,look that up on your map of Mobius!
Miles: It's not here Sonic!
Amy: Guys,I don't think we're in Mobius anymore!
Sonic: So just where are we?
Ash: Welcome to Pallet Town,Kanto,Starting Point of trainers to the Indigo League!
Miles: WHAT?!?!?!
Sonic: Tails, are you alright?
Miles: It' can't be,it doesn't exist! I'm dreaming!
(Miles starts running aroun,going more than a little mental!)
Ash: Is he okay?
Sonic: Ah,he's fine,he's just kinda..
(Sonic makes a circle on the side of his head,and makes a stupid looking face)
Ash: Huh?
Sonic: (sigh)We have a long way to-WOAH TAILS LOOK OUT!
(Right as Sonic finishes his sentence,Miles runs head first into a tree.)
Ash: Can I show you to my house?
Sonic: Just a sec!
(Sonic walks over and picks up Miles' limp body)
Sonic: Let's go!

To Be Continued..........

Well? What do you all think on a scale from 1-10?

Lil' Schu
January 2nd, 2005, 3:23 PM
It's got language...and it's confusing. Maybe you should enter after each talk, and for 'Ok', don't use ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook. That makes it hard to read. o.x;

I'll give it a...8/10 ^^

January 3rd, 2005, 4:33 PM
Hey, Look at the rating,PG-13 for- Violence,Sexual Contact,and LANGUAGE!
Sorry about the format,i'll change that! :P
Here's chapter 4!

Chapter Four: If Zinks are Zorks............

In the Mushroom Kingdom:

Mario:Where did-a Peach go?

Luigi:I-a don't know!


(Before the Brothers can react,the chao leaps at Luigi,and starts chewing on his head)



(Mario gets out his hammer to smash the chao. When he swings,the chao jumps off,causing Mario to hit Luigi on his head)


(the Chao starts Laughing,and then a wierd portal appears. The chao jumps in,unaware that Mario grabs Luigi and Jumps in behind him)

Back to Sonic And Ash:

Sonic(Carrying Miles): So uh,how much further to your house?

Ash: Ah, it's not that far!

(After a while,they come up over a hill.)

Sonic: So (grunt) is that your house?


Amy:*Sniff* are there more *sniff sniff* Pikachu there?

Ash:Um uh no.


Sonic:uh oh

(Sonic Starts running from Amy with her giant hammer out)

Amy: (Foaming at the mouth) I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Sonic: HAVE MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Ash,apparently unaware of what's happening,notices Miles getting up)

Ash: Are they always like this?

Miles: Yeah,but deep down,I'm sure Sonic has some feelings for her!

Ash: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh huh

Miles: So,what you wanna head to your house?


(As Miles and Ash head to the house on the horizon,Sonic tries to run away from Amy.)

(Later:At Ash's house)

(Sonic crawls through the doorway with more black eyes ever thought possible,bloody nose,and what appeared to be a broken wrist)

Amy: oh no you don't Sonic the Hedgehog!

Sonic: (Desprately) Help................. ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ash:So you're realy that good with machines?

(As Ash and Miles talk,Amy drags Sonic back outside and punches are heard hitting,and hammers crushing)

Miles: Yup,by the way,do you need that blender?UI bet I could make another Parralellunivershydrogenermanationvirtraflicknomiginogetabinosabbo Machine with some
pieces from household appliences!

Ash: (clueless) A what now?

Sonic: ( holding on to the door step) Don't ask him! We'll be here all night! Woah!


Miles:It makes a chaos Control!

Ash: (Obviously clueless) uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.................

Miles: You have no idea what I mean huh?

Ash: Nope!


Miles: A chaos control occurs when-


Miles: Enough Chaos energy gathers in one place.

Ash:And just what is-

(Sonic's screams are heard in the background Soon the screams die down as Amy walks in,looking quite satisfied)

Ash: A chaos control?

Miles:Well it's--

??????: I think it's best I explain it to him!

(Miles,Amy,and Sonic,just crawling through the door,turn and see a black hedgehog with red highlights and what appears to be an evil look on his face)


Amy:It can't be...........

Sonic: Shadow!

Ash: Did I miss something?

Shadow: So hedgehog,it apears you are still helping humans! I can't brlive you! You make me sick! Why don't you just give up,and help me conqure the world? Together we
could put everyone under us,we'd be in control.we'd be the masters! The humans would listen to US! Why6 do you defy your heritage? Why? You were created by the same process as me,an accident with the chaos emeralds,by Gerald's Grandson,Ivo!

(Miles and Amy gasp,and look at Sonic)

Miles:Sonic,is-is that true?

Sonic: It's true guys. But-(Sonic starts to stand up) so what if I was created by Eggman? Back then,before the accident,he was a peace loving scientist,my Creator,father, yet worst enemy,known as Ovi Kintobor!

Ash: Wait! Ovi Kintobor? He was the main scientist in the creation of Mewtwo! He still works at Cinnibar Lab!

Sonic: So,he creats me,throws me out,and expects me to survive on my own?

(Sonic plainly starts to get ticked)

Sonic: Even worse,he becomes my,ENEMY?

(Sonics blood starts to boil)


(Sonic goes flying out the door,going about 5X the speed of sound)

Sonic: (thinking) : Why? Why do I feel the urge to destroy? Is it what Shadow said? Is it a program Eggman activated? Whatever it is I have to fight it,or else I fear for this
planet,I fear much indeed!

January 8th, 2005, 11:23 AM
^^;; Well, it's interesting. I think you should have a space in between each different speaker, to make it less confusing. You should also go back and check the spelling. They were little things like:
alright = all right

But there only a few, but it's hard for me to back-track to get them all. XD

Well, I'm afraid this one is a bit too confusing to really know what the plot is, but I'll give it my best. XD

So far, it looks like each chapter has different characters from different games/anime and they each have their own...erm...problems. XD It's actually kinda funny, but it's just a harder fic to read. ^^ Like I said, putting spaces in where they need to be would make your fic look a lot less cluttered. ^_~ Like you did in Chapter 4! Weeeee, you catch on quick. X3


January 23rd, 2005, 1:29 PM
Chapter Five: You'll just keep making me put something here won't you?
(By the way I'lol call Miles Tails now! Less confusion you know :P )

(In a Remote Island in the Southern sea by the name of,The Duelist Kingdom)

Yugi: Pegasaus I'm ready for the rematch you requested!

????: First you'll have to go through me!

Yugi: Who are you?

????:I am Edge! Ruler of all Chao! Overseer of bunnys,master of gorillas,buddy of bear.....

Yugi: Ok I get the point ! You're a cute cuddely little harmless creature!

Edge: Well,(Fangs come down) You may want to rethink that!

(Back to Ash Tails Amy and Shadow)

Shadow: I knew I could drive him out!

(Amy Begins to cry. Suddenly her body starts to grow(Picture the hulk) As does her hammer)


Shadow: HOLY ****!

(Tails and Ash look (realy freaked out) at Amy kicking the living crap out of Shadow)

Tails: Ummmmmmmm,I think we should go!

Ash: Uhhuh!

(Ash and Tails run out of the house and watch it being crushed to bits)

Ash: My house!

Tails:My lemonade!

(Ash looks at Tails and begins to sidestep away from him.Tails Starts crying and sputtering)

Tails: (Crying) Why? WHY? IT WAS SO YOUNG!

Ash: Um,it will be ok! We'll get you some more lemona........


Ash: OK OK!

Tails: Ohh,look! a Butterfly!

(Suddenly a car comes and hits the butterfly. It gets caught on the windshield,and is flung off into Tails' arms)


(Ash Sidesteps further away,when suddenly a portal appears beside him. He watches a fat Plumber holding another fall out of the portal)

Mario: What the.........

Tails: Look! A latino man! Make me a pizza!

Mario: Ahhhhh! Radiactive mutated fox!

Tails: I take that quite personaly........

Amy: (appearing from nowhere) I'm hungry,let's get chinese!

Ash: But.where....... and......

Amy: What got a problem, if you do,(throws hammer over sholdur) (Gruffly): I'll take care of it!

Ash: no!no problem at all!

Chinese man: So you want tha chicken chow mein witha noooooo mushrooms!

Sonic: No,I want a Job,A JOB!

Chinese Man: With wonton?

Sonic: (Sigh) Look buddy,I WANT A FREAKIN JOB!

Chinese Man: For here or to go?

Sonic: (Grabs chinese man by the neck) I WANT A GOD **** JOB!

Chinese man: That'll be 7 dowaroo, and 85 centses!


(After about 1 hour........)

Chinese man: OH! you want a job?


Chinese man: Sorry we-a all full!

Sonic: **** IT!

Chinese man on bike: I quit!

Chinese man: Welcome abroad! Snomic the warthog!

Sonic: (sigh) Close enough,so what's my job?

(the Chinese man points at the bike)

(Back to Ash's house)

Amy: So we'll take Chicken Chow Mein, Sweet and sour Chicken,......

Shadow: (Yelling to be heard on phone) WITH EXTRA SAUSAGE!

(Shadow and Tails start cracking up)

Amy: Some Lo mien noodles....


(Shadow and Tails laugh even harder)

Amy: And an order of wontons!

Shadow & Tails: WITH NO WONTONS!

Chinese man: (over phone) Okay,we'll-a send your food with our delivery worthog!

Sonic: (over phone) HEDGEHOG!

Amy: Who was that?

Chinese man: Our warthog.

January 30th, 2005, 7:55 AM
XDXDXDXD This is so funny! It's like a neat cross between a fan fic and an RP.

I loved the part where Ash's house get's crushed and he shouts "My house!," but Tails shouts "Me lemonade!" XD Well, I think this fic ish so funny, it's a neat thing to read apart from some of the other great fics in this forum. ^^

All I have to say is add a bit more detail into the plot. I'd recommend you show what the characters really look like etc. etc. Other than that, I love your fic the way it is. ^^ Keep up the good work. ^o^