View Full Version : My Poems

January 9th, 2005, 5:23 PM
These are a few poems that I wrote... I don't really like any of my writing, but I like to write, so hey I'm giving it a shot! ^^

Not having a dire need to expire
Staring at the fire while
thinking back when you were a child
blissfully unaware
of the cruel word you were about to
is what peace is made of

Relaxing in a field so far away
from the rest of the world
so much unlike today
unaware of your surroundings
not hearing the pounding
of your heart
is what happiness is made of

Put all the little pieces of the puzzle together
see what you get
because you cant forget
this is what nostalgia is made of

Good Advice
Lack of inspiration
makes me write these words
soon you will hear
something unheard

Never tell a story
Never tell a tale
Never tell a lie
unless you are ready to cry

Again and again they sigh
weve heard it a million times
not to tell a lie!

Take heed and mark my words
it is good advice
to get along well in life

Well, that's it for now... Hope you like them!

January 9th, 2005, 6:29 PM
They are good,I liked Good Avdice the best.

January 9th, 2005, 10:19 PM
Yes they are both beautifully written (when did I start saying "beautifully" XD), both of them leave a nice feel of satisfaction.

I shouldn't be one to talk about length because I often write short poems, but I just felt that on the topic of "Nostalgia" and "Good Advice", it should have been a bit longer when dealing with really what Nostalgia and Good Advice really are. But great job nonetheless ^^.

January 10th, 2005, 3:19 PM
I do like Nostalgia, your poem describes how nostalgia works and what it ruly means. I think I'd love it if you used ',' and '.' in your poems. Otherwise it's like one huge run-on sentence. XD But that's just a minor tactic.

Your second poem was short but sweet. It shows how many times we hear to never ever tell a lie, but even that sentence alone is a lie right in front of you. XD For, being humans, we are all bound to lie, that's just how life goes. ^^

I really liked both of your poems, Julia, very nice job! ^^


January 10th, 2005, 3:27 PM
I totally agree with what everyone so far has said in this thread. ^^ They are lovely poems, and well written at that. You just need to work on your puncuation, as Kelsey said. If you dont add your "," and "."'s then the whole piece seems like it will go on forever. Especially if someone is reading it aloud. They will run out of breath before they reach the end. ^_~

As stated, nice work. ^____________^