View Full Version : Secret relationships
January 28th, 2013, 6:13 PM
Have you ever had a secret relationship? I'm talking romantic.
If so, why? What happened?
If not, how do you feel about secret relationships?
January 28th, 2013, 6:18 PM
I had a very short online relationship with someone back in 2008, which was a secret, but I don't think it counts considering it didn't last long. I was kinda with someone in, I guess, an off and on situation, but it was online as well and I didn't tell my mom. It was never really official, so idk if it counts either.
The only people I'd keep my relationships a secret from are probably all my family members, except my dad, maw maw, and sister. And even then, I'd only keep online relationships secret until I could figure out how to tell them. Considering I'm 20 years old though, it's not like they could stop me.
Despite this, I'm not a big fan of secret relationships unless you have a decent enough reason. Just because a relationship is being kept secret doesn't mean it's one of those "oh you just don't care about them enough" deals. It's hard to keep a relationship a secret though...I mean damn, I wanna show off my boo. lol
January 28th, 2013, 8:07 PM
I don't really have much of an opinion. >_> Short of certain circumstances, it doesn't seem like a problem to me.
January 28th, 2013, 8:23 PM
Um, I suppose you could say I have a half-secret relationship? My family knows about it, but his doesn't, considering his family doesn't know he's bisexual.
How did it turn out? Well, we've been together four months and he broke up with me Saturday. We have talked A LOT about things since then. There's a lot of things going on, one of which being he's sort of questioning his sexuality, which I suppose is an issue for me if I want things to continue. >.>
So, I'm not particularly against secret relationships, especially if it's because your family doesn't know about your sexuality. (Technically speaking, my half of the relationship was also secret at first. Then my mom came to me about three days later and questioned me on my sexuality and I admitted to it. <.<) I'm not entirely for them, either. It kind of sucks having to keep such things secret, especially since it can be such an inconvenience when it's a secret you must keep from those you live with.
So, I'm neutral on the subject, I suppose.
January 28th, 2013, 10:08 PM
Had two online relationships before. Both were secret because my parents would have completely disagreed with the reasons for it.
First: With a boy named Scott (actually met him on here. Don't think he goes here anymore though) and my parents found out and busted me. Relationship fell apart after that.
Second: Girl named Rachel (again, used to go here, doesn't anymore) and we broke up because of a lot of reasons, one of them being that my parents might find out. Also I was very frustrated ATM.
January 29th, 2013, 5:34 PM
Yeah, and it lasted four years. To this day my mom still doesn't know anything about her. I've tried to bring her up twice since she passed away, but it just feels futile at this point.
January 29th, 2013, 9:45 PM
I had a really short online relationship that I was really quiet over. Nobody really knew... except for his friends though.
January 30th, 2013, 2:06 AM
No I haven't had one before
I believe it's kinda silly to have one as why wouldn't you want anyone to know you are in love ?
January 30th, 2013, 4:18 AM
I've been in relationships where I haven't told people, mostly my parents, that I'm in a relationship. It's not in an effort to keep it a secret from them, but just something I'd bring up when I know the relationship has been going on for a good length of time to finally tell them or when I see things are getting more serious. I don't want it to be like I end up in this new relationship, tell everyone about it, and then a week later it's over. That's happened before.
In 7th grade, however, I had a girlfriend who I had been with for a good while, but we couldn't tell her parents because they wouldn't allow her to have a boyfriend at the time. Unfortunately, living in a small town where everyone knows everyone, that didn't stay secret for long and we had to break up because of it. We stayed good friends though.
Ultimately, I'm indifferent about the topic. I feel like if you love someone, why hide that? If you have a good reason to keep it a secret though, then I respect that. However, there comes a time when a relationship just shouldn't be kept a secret anymore otherwise why are you in a relationship with someone you can't admit publicly?
January 31st, 2013, 11:17 AM
It wasn't so much a relationship but at one point me and a guy from my class suddenly liked eachother and did some things but we decided not to pursue it because it was too hard to keep it a secret from the whole class lol. And I didn't want to do that either.
February 1st, 2013, 4:32 PM
Yes, in fact, I was in a secret romantic relationship earlier this year. When I say secret, I mean that I never told my parents or friends about it. We just didn't want it to be a super serious thing. Anyway, we called it off a few weeks ago. Not going to go into details.
February 1st, 2013, 11:17 PM
Not really. But like Drakow, if I see one more love thread, you guys will make me kill myself xD Just kidding, I wouldn't do that
Anyways, if anything maybe the short thing with Checkers? Idk :P xD
February 3rd, 2013, 8:29 PM
I haven't told my parents about the guy I'm currently seeing. They know I'm gay but the reason I'm hiding it from them is because if they knew I was seeing someone they'd start asking questions about how I met him, and telling them that I met him on Grindr is not an option lol.
February 3rd, 2013, 8:35 PM
From my own experiences, secret relationships are a bad idea. Of course, it's exciting and all at first, but it's also exhausting.
I wished I showed off the gal I had. While I like to keep my relationship more like a secret because I don't like the whole world know our business, I feel like I personally invest myself into someone else the more it's seen. Does that make sense? It's like, the more people that now, the more I'm held accountable. This doesn't change my actions by any drastic measures, but any type of reinforcement is good.
Corvus of the Black Night
February 3rd, 2013, 8:49 PM
I'm very vocal about my personal life so nothing is really secret with me >.>