View Full Version : Misconception

February 21st, 2005, 12:39 PM
Well, here's my first real OT. It was met happily on fanfiction.net, so I figured I'd try my luck here. I haven't been here in a while... hn. Ah well. Anyway, here we go. And this guy is awesome: :laugh:

This chapter is a tad short, and, in reading it over now, it's not my best. I've improved a lot since December, it seems. Ah well, you'll have live with this. Enjoy!


Gina sighed. She flipped the map over until the small N on the compass rose pointed away from her. The map still didnt make much sense. It looked as if some kid had drawn it on some basic computer program. Her eyes shot down to the lower right-hand corner of her paper. Drawn by Lauren King, Winner of KonDraw Contest. So that was it. She sighed again. It was a crude, distasteful map, but a map nonetheless.

She flipped the paper over, looking at the descriptions of the cities in Konnichiwa. She didnt have to scan far down the list to find her hometown, quaint little Sunrise City. She quickly read over the description:

((2)) Sunrise City -- A small city. Breeding center located here (private, by appointment ONLY).

She glanced up at the breeding center as she waltzed past it. It had some fancy name, the kind of name that slips a ten-year-olds mind. The place was as uppity as it sounded in Lauren Kings description. The large brick building had been painted white and magnificently overdone in random dcor. Peeking into the backyard, where many prized Pokemon romped, Gina could see fountains, trees and grass greener than the cheap ink and oversaturated colors of the map. Not for the first time, she wondered why these Pokemon seemed to live better than she. She sighed, more happily this time. This placeshed keep it.

Til? Ca! The small, overly peppy bird hopped around as if it was desperately trying to get rid of energysomething, Gina thought, which wouldnt be a bad idea. Of all of the Pokemon her mentors could have chosen for her, they gave her Catiel. Catiel. The most common Pokemon in all of Sunrise. Wasnt she supposed to get some cool, rare Pokemon? And how was she supposed to nickname a hyperactive bird?

She flipped open her field guide to the page about Catiel. Shed read it before, but maybe she had missed some hidden power or something.

One the first page was a photograph of the bird which captured its essence very well. Its large eyes were closed happily, and the leaf marks on its cheeks glowed; the bird itself was a full foot off the ground. Its deep green wings were spread out wide, and its lime crest was raised high. Its scruffy white collar of feathers was puffed and vibrant.

Catiel (Cah-teel)

Ht. 23

Wt. 9.25 lbs.

Catiel are always joyous. They love to interact with everyone around them, especially other Catiel. If no other Pokemon or humans are present, they have been known to squawk at inanimate objects until someone comes along. They can be found in abundance in Sunrise City as well as throughout Triland.

Her Catiel was hopping around excitedly with the wild Catiel. Gina didnt have the heart to tell him to fight the other Catiel who he had become friends with so quickly, so she sat on a small bump in the ground and watched as Nameless the Catiel socialized.

She pulled out Lauren Kings map again. She wasnt very far from Sunrise City. That was fine with her. It was much more difficult than she thought it would be to leave home by herself. Her original plan had been to stay very close to Sunrise for the first day, but she didnt want to have to waste her supplies or set up camp when she was so close to home. She would have to make it to Cuamenara Pass in three days at most, and that meant they would have to leave soon.

Gina stood up. Several Catiel came bounding over to her, as if she had been stone, suddenly come to life. She couldnt pick out which one was her Catiel. She said to the whole group of them, Cmon, Catiel. Were gonna be on our way. All but one of the birds hung their heads and tottered away. The remaining one chirped happily and started down the path ahead of her. She quickly caught up to him.

Okay, we need to name you now, buddy, Gina declared.

Catiel looked up hopefully, as if he had been waiting for this.

Let me warn you, Im awful at this, Gina cautioned, I couldnt even name my online Pokemon.

Catiel cocked his head to the side curiously as Gina continued, Okay, so. Youre a guy and youre hyper. What should I call you? Catiel cooed softly, joining Gina in deep thought.

I guess Talkative would be a stretch, huh? she asked. Catiel nodded.

I wish I had my computer right now, Gina thought aloud, then I could look up some cool word in some other language to name you What about Hyper or something? Catiel made a disapproving guttural sound. She sighed, Okay

They strode down the path in silence for a while, enjoying the scenery. There were no disturbances for a while. Not much to Ginas surprise, Catiel suddenly began squawking. She whipped around. Catiel was being attacked by a small raccoon Pokemon, Zigzagoon. Spontaneously and excitedly, Gina shouted, Attack it, Catiel!

Catiel abruptly stopped its manic squalling. It looked to Gina, awaiting a more specific order. However, the Zigzagoon wouldnt wait. He puffed himself up and charged.

Ah! Quick, dodge it! Gina yelled.

Catiel jumped, shooting up several feet and evading Zigzagoons quick attack. Gina watched in awe. She hadnt known he could jump like that! Zigzagoon turned around, and prepared for another charge.

Okay, Catiel! When he charges, jump and try and land on him. But do a peck attack, so your beak hits him and not your feet, Gina ordered. She clapped her hands together, aggravated. That hadnt come out correctly.

Catiel understood what she meant. As Zigzagoon ran, he jumped, and prepared to peck right into Zigzagoons back as it ran under him. All this achieved, however, was Catiel getting a face full of the raccoons spikes. Catiel shook his head, chirping while Gina looked on, ashamed. She knew better than that. Catieldo you know she groaned, agitated, just dodge him for a second! She grabbed her field guide from the top of her backpack, and she flipped to the page about Catiel. She quickly scanned over his attacks, Thats it! Catiel, razor leaf!

Catiel chirped in agreement. His cheek leaves glowed, and he sent a gust of sharp leave toward the Zigzagoon. The raccoon staggered backwards, having to delay its next charge.

Okay, now peck it while its not looking, but not in the spike things! Gina commanded.

Catiel ran at Zigzagoon, who was still recovering from the leaves in its face. The raccoons head snapped up. It puffed, and charged at Catiel.

Catiel, jump!

Catiel took a bounding leap over Zigzagoon, and managed to land a peck on his opponents backside. He was met with more spikes in the face, but not without a small victory. Scared by the sudden uncomfortable jar from behind, the raccoon retreated.

Catiel ran over to Gina, chirping excitedly. He hadnt won, and he knew that, but he hadnt lost either, now had he? Gina scooped him up. Despite his continual pep, she could see that Catiel was exhaustedhis chest heaved in and out.

The sun was hanging low, so as soon as there was forest visible nearby, Gina rushed over to it and found shelter in the trees. She set Catiel down. Exhausted but not injured, he would be fine after a good nights sleep.

Day 1 (One! Uno!)

Okay, I know this is kind of kiddish, but my sister suggested it, and I think itll be fun to look back and see what my thoughts were. So, Im going to keep a journal for as long as I can remember to. Lets see. I didnt do much today. Well, I started my journey! I got a Catiel. A CATIEL. Oh well. Hes cute and hes really funny, so I guess its okay. Im thinking about naming him Sproing, considering he surprised me during our battle with a Zigzagoon today by jumping like five feet in the air!

Anyway, I got him. The ceremony is never spectacular, but I thought it was cute today. Its nice that they give us pre-packed bags. The guidebook is super-helpful. It saved me against that Zigzagoon.

So, there were only like seven of us. Usually there are about eleven, but there werent many kids in my class, so I guess it makes sense. We all stood on stage in the plaza, and Mrs. Byrne made some speech about how accomplished we were (are??). Then they gave us our bags, and one by one we took the Pokeballs out and opened them for our families and whoever else wanted to watch. Some people got really cool Pokemon. This one kid got a Rattata. I know they dont get that strong, but thats so cool! Theyre mad rare. I hear you can only get them when like shipments come in from Kanto and Hoenn and stuff. Maybe one day theyll start to live here. I wonder why they dont like Konnichiwa.

Hm. Okay, I should probably say something about Konnichiwa, in case if I ever go to Johto and someone reads this, theyll know what its like. Well, it doesnt have any evil organizations that I know of. Oh, and we dont have badges here. We call them merits. We each have journeyer I.D., though. Im not really sure what we call people who battle with Pokemon. Some are trainers, some are journeyers (I like that one), and some are well, other stuff. IDK. Well, Konnichiwa is named after Konnichiwa City. Its this huge city that takes up the whole southern coast of the continent! Most of it is forest, though. I live in Sunrise City, the city furthest to the east. Isnt that cute? Theres a Sunset City in the west. I wonder how the sun comes up there?

Anyway, there are 9 merits we have to get before we can battle the Dirija League, our league. Also, we have something really cool that no one else does. We have a mini-suburb thing called Triland. Triland is three islands and it even has its own league! You need the five merits of Triland to battle in the Triland League. I really want to go there. But, because Im from Sunrise, I have to beat the Dirija people before I can battle the league in Triland. I can go there for fun, though, and to battle non- merit trainers (AKA trainers who dont run Arcs, which is what we call what Hoenn people call GYMS.) So, if I can get there before I beat Dirija, Im going to go.

I think thats it.

Oh yeah. Catiel didnt beat the Zigzagoon, it fled. The Zigzag-y one fled, not Catiel. So we tied, I guess.

Wins: -
Losses: -
Ties: 1!

Battles: None but one!


Please review ^^ (Wow, that looks desparate...)

oni flygon
February 21st, 2005, 12:54 PM
Pretty good though short and you need to seperate the story into paragraphs...it's a pain to read and just repeat the same line over... X_X

If you can work a little bit on the descriptions, you'll be fine...

February 22nd, 2005, 7:40 AM
o_O I thought description was provided sufficiently...=] Ah, well. I guess I'll repeat what I said on TPM? XD
Eh, I just credit the originality. I absolutely love the region name, as well as Catiel. It's just, cute and original. You portrayed it nicely- a faint chirping sound is stuck in my head now. Usually when there's a diary at the end, it becomes unbearably tedious for me, but it explained a lot. Either way, post your next chapter soon. ^^

February 22nd, 2005, 6:53 PM
:D Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Haha, sorry there LilyPichu... I've plagued you with this three times! XD Glad you liked little catiel... he's quite different from his real world counterpart... though they're both noisy, I'll give them that -_-

As for description, meh. It's not my strongest point, though I'd been told it's pretty good in the next chapter. If you mean a description of Gina, sorry... I don't really believe in paragraph-long character descriptions. I think it's more fun to let the reader picture the character... because I find that I do anyway, and then if I ever see character x, I get mad because they're not how I pictured them-- how I think they ought to be. Yes, I'm very odd. XD That said, I think it'd be really fun to hear what people think she looks like and compare it to my mental picture of her.

Anyway, thanks muchly para tu reviews ^^ I'm all nice and excited to get the next chappy (weird word) up now. ^^


February 23rd, 2005, 4:57 PM
I think that's fine and creative. When I first read about Gina, I envisioned her as this girl with short purple hair and green eyes.

For some reason. XD

February 24th, 2005, 10:20 AM
Well, the 21k character limit and I weren't getting along that well, so this chapter is in two parts... and considering the next chapter is looking to be even longer than this one... :confused: Should be fun, neh?

Anyway, this chapter is more... well, better than the last one. At that, enjoy.


The next day didnt bring anything exceedingly significant.

Gina awoke early. How early she couldnt tell, but the sun wasnt entirely up yet so she assumed it was before seven. She was greeted by her catiel. He came bouncing over to her (from where she couldnt guess), chirping happily.

Hey, bud, she said softly, Oh yeah I think I have a name for you. How do you like Sproing?

The little bird cocked his head to the side, considering this proposal. He then looked at her and nodded, giving a loud shrill chirp. And so it was decided; he was Sproing the catiel.

It wasnt much longer before they were packed up, had eaten, and were on their way. Sproing hopped ahead of Gina, following the swerving path. Every now and then hed pick up a berry that had dropped from either a nearby tree or had been abandoned by another Pokemon. Hed run back to Gina with it; she would either take it and place it in her berry bag, or allow Sproing to eat it. They went on like this for a while.

Then Sproing stopped. He skidded to a sudden halt. Gina also stopped when she saw this, unsure of what to think of this uncharacteristic silence. Sproing tilted his head to one side, then the other. He did this when he was thinking, so Gina assumed he had seen or heard something, and was trying to figure out what exactly it had been. Nonetheless, she was worried by this abrupt change in his behavior.

The grass moved. Ginas heart skipped a beat. Slowly, Sproing raised one of his feet. He set it down a few inches further than it had been and leaned toward the grass. And, just as suddenly as he had stopped, Sproing shot up into the air, and upon his landing dashed into the tall grass. Gina stared for a second before running after him.

What she saw surprised her. A trio of meditite sat in the grass, meditatingthe perfect training for Sproing.

Ready for our first win? she whispered to him. He nodded eagerly. Okay ready set go.

Sproing dashed into the area where the meditite were sitting. Judging by their size, Gina assumed them to be a fairly youngnot much older than Sproing. One at a time, the monkey-like Pokemon opened their eyes and stared at Sproing.

Peck whichever one you can! And stick with that one! Gina ordered.

Sproing lunged at the nearest Pokemon. The meditite went tumbling, and it couldnt recover before Sproing landed another peck. This time, the meditite stayed down.

The fallen Pokemons companions scattered upon seeing this. In his glory, Sproing dashed after the next one. He received a kick in the beak, but shook his head and continued his chase, unphased. He landed peck after peck, and succeeded in silencing two of the monkey Pokemon.

Yes! That was so awesomely lucky! And you did great! Gina scooped up Sproing. The catiel cooed happily. Gina decided to try their luck with the next zigzagoon they saw. Maybe they could win now


Sproing walked alongside Gina as the sun lowered. Exhausted from unsuccessfully battling three zigzagoon, the spring had left his step. There had not been any signs for Cuamenara Pass, and it wasnt visible in the distance.

Gina plunked down on the path. She opened her guide book to the page about Cuamenara Pass.

Four Ways

Named after the four paths leading to and from it, it has been said that all roads lead to Cuamenara. Though the Pass is encased by a huge mountain and looks impressively ominous from the outside, especially from afar, it is actually a series of four simple, small underground passageways. Instability of not only the surrounding ecosystem but of the mountain itself prevents further spelunking and excavation. {See next page for map.}

Cuamenara is almost always swarming with new trainers, mainly due to its population of young Pokemon. Studies show that once these Pokemon, such as Larvitar and Aron, mature they move steadily to either Widows Peak or even to places such as the Panobi Desert or Mount Sci. Occasionally a Pupitar will grace a lucky newbie.

When approaching, the mountain will become visible when only a few more hours are needed to reach the Pass.

Virtix City Journey Time: Less than a day possible. {See pg.6}
Sunrise City : Approx. three days. {See pg. 2}
Widows Pass : Approx. seven days {see pg. 9}
Centrimark Town : Two days max. {See pg. 14}

Gina closed the book and stood up. They still had another day to go at least. Sproing cooed softly, wanting to stop for the night. Gina took the hint, and they entered the next patch of trees and set up camp.

Gina was up and about early again the next morning. Catiel lay next to her, still asleep. She sighed. Two days had passed, their destination was nowhere in sight, they couldnt beat zigzagoon, and she was exhausted. She sighed and lay back down as another thought crept up on her, And I got a Catiel as a starter Pokemon.

The catiel stirred, his sleep aggravated by his mentors movements. He raised his head and let out a chirp, happily greeting the morn. Soon enough, they had eaten their miniscule meal, and were off again.

Sproing hopped to and fro characteristically, and Gina walked along the dirt part sullenly, hoping desperately for a view of any mountain, even if it wasnt the one they were looking for. The way the field stretched monotonously in almost all directions out made her feel as if they were making little if any progress.

Much to Ginas surprise, the hours passed quickly. They lost to another Zigzagoon, beat another Meditite, and had a picnic in the grass. The day was cool and traveling was simple. It wasnt long before a dark shadow appeared in the sky, and Gina sighed in relief. Their first excursion was almost over.

As the guidebook said, they reached the mountain in another few hours, arriving in the late afternoon. The lodges and Pokemon stores and centers scattered about were all crowded, and Gina even got glimpses of some people she knew. Sproing bounced around, energetically exploring his new surroundings.

Cuamenara Mountain itself was gigantic, but, as the text had read, the paths inside it seemed quite simple. An oversized map was taped crudely to a table outside the Pokemon Center; Gina was relieved to see that each tunnels passage was either a straight line or only slightly curvilinear. As Gina was reading the caption below the map, Sproing came hopping back to her side, chirping loudly and looking toward the many buildings lined up next to each other.

She looked down at him, Hey, bud. Whats up?

Ca! Titi! He bounced to and fro, nodding toward the structures.

Those are buildings, Spro. That one is a Pokemon Center. Its where you get healed when youre hurt, and where we rest so we dont have to camp out. And those are called PokeMarts, where I can buy things, Gina replied.

Sproing nodded, taking this in and trying desperately to understand it. His thoughts were interrupted by Gina, So, do you want to hang out in the tunnels for a bit? I think were gonna stay here tonight, and maybe we can decide where to go by tomorrow. I mean, though, if youre too tired, we dont have to go into the tunnels now. The little bird titled his head, his mind draining of any prior thoughts as it considered this proposition. Eventually, the catiel gave a nod and the pair headed toward the tunnel entrance.

February 24th, 2005, 10:28 AM
Here's the second part because my compy is short on disk space as is XD:


The inside of the passageways was dimly lit by hanging lanterns strung haphazardly across the ceiling. Hills of rock separated one road from another, as well as the travelers from the perils of the inner mountain. The caves were full of people to the point that Gina started to wonder how everyone fit. Both she and Sproing gazed about in awe, neither of them having ever seen much outside of the fields surrounding Sunrise City.

As she finished taking everything in, Gina shoved her way through the crowds and, after many failed attempts, she managed to find herself a small spot on a bench. Sproing hopped into her lap, chirping excitedly, as his partner pulled her guidebook out of her bag.

I wonder how you find any Pokemon in here, Gina thought aloud. Sproing gave a chirp of agreement. He wouldnt like to live with so many people. Well, apparently, Gina continued, we can find aron, larvitar, geodude, machop a lot of Pokemon in here. I wonder if this thing tells me how She continued to scan over the pages for a minute or so, before finding the passage she was looking for:

Though Cuamenara is littered by hundreds of people at a time, it is still possible to catch Pokemon. In each of the four tunnels, there is a reservation where Pokemon may roam undisturbed by the crowds, and a set number of people at a time may enter to catch however many of these Pokemon they like. Some of these include: larvitar, aron, lairon (rare), pupitar (rare), magnegram (exclusive to Widows Peak area), and bagon.

Gina sighed, Well, apparently we cant train or catch or whatever until we decide which way we want to go. But with all of the people here, maybe we can get ourselves into a real battle. Most of them look like us. New to this, I mean. So I bet they have some Pokemon from the cave, which might give us a slight advantage. Okay so we dont have any Pokemon from the cave yet but we will!

Sproing squawked happily, jumping down to the ground. His new mission, all other thoughts aside, was to find someone for them to fight. As soon as Gina was ready to start heading back toward the entrance to the cave, the little bird shot out into the crowd, looking for someone he found suitable. He paid no mind to the girl running after him, shoving her way through the hoards of people. Finally, he came to someone sitting on the ground, playing with a small Pokemon. He recognized this Pokemon. It had spines and was striped brown and an off-white color. Its little face scrunched up as its human offered it food. It was a zigzagoon.

Gina, panting, ran up to her catiel, Sproing! Never, ever do that again! I couldve lost you, buddy!

Sproing gave his best pitiful look before pointing his foot toward the small rat. Gina looked the pair opposite them over before she replied, Spro, I dont think we couldnt beat the wild ones, and that one is bound to be better. Its with a partner. Sproing shook his head defiantly and continued to point. The zigzagoon wasnt taking food from its human. It didnt trust the boy. They would have an advantage.

She sighed, Alright. Well give it a try. Theres a Center right outside if we need it, I guess. Sproing jumped and gave an elated chirp. He ran up to the mouse. Gina followed.

Hi she said, not entirely sure of how to go about this, My catiel really wants to battle your zigzagoon for some reason uh do you mind?

Gina figured she had said something right, because she didnt receive a strange look and there was no sarcasm in his voice when he said, Oh, sure. Sounds like fun. We need to find a place, though

Well the crowd seems to have just stepped aside for those two over thereMaybe we just start, Gina suggested, not having thought of this problem.

Maybe we should meet outside just in case were not supposed to, or something, the boy offered, Why dont we meet by the map table in front of the Pokemon Center in about a half-hour. Sound good?

Alright. Ill see you then, I guess, Gina agreed. She scooped up Sproing, waved to the boy, and started to head out of the tunnel.


The Pokemon Center was huge. Though that was something, Gina realized, that she should probably have expected. Then again, it looked like the normally sized one in her hometown from the front. But it stretched back into a crag, making it, from the inside, seem very much like a hotel.

The rooms were very much like that of a hotel also. They each boasted their own bathroom, something Gina was extremely grateful for, as well as a bed and television. Unlike most Pokemon Centers, however, this one required a small fee per night. It didnt surprise Gina that a place like that couldnt run on donations alone.

Gina wasnt sure whether or not being fashionably late applied to Pokemon battles, but she had no interest in finding out. She stood in front of the map, by her time five or so minutes early. The boy showed up soon after. The acknowledged each other, and then started to head away from he mass of people and Pokemon.

Alright, are you ready? the boy asked, calling his zigzagoon out of its Pokeball.

Yup! Gina replied, nodding to Sproing. The Pokemon took their places between the two trainers. Oh! This is a one-on-one, okay? Gina said to the boy. He nodded in reply.

The zigzagoon puffed itself up, and Sproing bounced in place, each awaiting an order from their nervous trainers, each of whom was about to participate in their first battle. Gina finally took a deep breath, and said quietly to Sproing, Alright, Spro, you wanted to do this do your best. Lets try the uhwell, the butt-peck thing again. That we did to that first zigzag. The catiel cocked his head to the side, considering for a second, before nodding, and charging at the zigzagoon.

Alright, Spiny! the boy shouted, excitement taking over, Charge him!

The zigzagoon, presumably named Spiny, complied and rushed at Sproing. Sproing jumped over the little animal and tried to peck his backside, only to tumble in the dirt. He righted himself, and Spiny turned around for another charge. The command Tackle! rang through the small battlefield, but Sproing wasnt sure who had said it. The zigzagoon didnt make any move to answer it, and instead curled himself into a ball and shot forward at his opponent. Sproing made the quick assumption that the tackle order hadnt been for him, and he jumped the rollout.

Spiny uncoiled himself, much to his trainers delight, but still refused to listen to the order of tackle. Gina stood attentively, hoping that Sproing understood that their original plan was still in play. The two small Pokemon stood, staring at each other, for several seconds before the zigzagoon raised its spines, put its head down, and charged in full headbutt.

Sproing again leaped over this attack as well, but managed to land a hard peck on the unprepared zigzagoons backside. The small mouse squealed and swung its tail around vigorously, trying to hit a Sproing who had already retreated.

Okay, Spro, razor leaf! Gina ordered.

Cmon Spiny, rollout! the boy pleaded.

Sproing quickly called upon foliage, and Spiny, realizing that his mentor had chosen the best possible strategy, tucked himself into a ball.

Sproing! Uh can you fly? Not like the attack! Just normal flying! Gina shouted at the battlefield.

Sproing nodded, and flapped his wings, rising just enough off the ground to avoid the zigzagoons charge. He came down with a plunk, as well as to the command, Quick! Jump! He jumped, but to late. His small legs were kicked out from under him and he fell backwards hard.

Oy! Cmon, Spro, you can do it. Razor leaf again! Gina called. Sproing stood up and shook himself off.

Spiny! Rollout! the boy shouted.

The zigzagoon looked at his trainer, his face harboring an awfully malicious expression. Sproing stood in place, near his end, waiting for the rat to move. Gina stared on.

If he listens, he wins.

It came to everyone at the same time.

It was out of their reach now, Gina realized. Whatever happened, her catiel had fought well. They just needed to lay off those zigzagoon for a while.


I skipped yesterday. Nothing really happened. Spro and I got sorta discouraged, and we lost to some zigzagoon, so we just moped around all day, and went in earlier than we did the night before. But we also won our first battle against some meditite. It wasnt as glorious as I thought it would be. Sure, Spro jumped up and down and I hugged him, but that has happened before. I thought it would be a little more exciting, but it just happened. Then, boom, it was over. I can go on with my life. I wanted something much more, well, clich.

So, anyway, we finally got to Cuamenara Pass. Its this huge mountain that people wont excavate or spelunk (which is an awesome word, by the way) because its unstable. So its just these four separate tunnels. Worse, its overflowing with people. Its like an amusement park. You look up; youre going to lose whoever youre with. Thats what happened, actually. Spro and I went into the caves to catch Pokemon ( which, incidentally, we couldnt do because there are only certain areas near the intersection of the tunnels where you can catch themyou really need to decide where youre going before you can get anything). Well, we found we couldnt. So I said to him, Maybe we can find someone to battle instead. There were hundreds of people who only had one Pokemon, and plus, the guidebook said that a ton of new trainers gather there. I feel really clich this time, at least.

Anyway, Spro took that as, Go find someone for us to battle! That was really not cool because he shot off into the crowd! He ended up picking this kid with this awful disobedient zigzagoon. Seriously! He picked a zigzagoon, the one Pokemon (well, not the one, but one of the Pokemon) we havent been able to beat yet. So this guy and I decide to meet later for a zigzag vs. Spro match.

You would never believe this Pokemon center. Getting back to the whole amusement park this, it is a HOTEL! The place is huge! It has a swimming pool, for Gods sake! I got a hotel room! Theres this awesome, weird-smelling bed and a T.V. with one of those little controllers that you can play Super Nintendo games from (Kirby rules), and a cute little bathroom complete with mini shampoo bottles. Yeah, I did have to pay a little to get in, but its worth it. I could live here for the rest of my life with the fee they charge. And, hey, I could make money by battling people like that guy and his zigzagoon.

Anyway, that guy yeah, we battled him. I think Spro saw the zigzagoon, Spiny, being a jerk to his partner, so he thought it would be easier if the Pokemon we battled didnt listen. Wrong. It was much harder. We never knew what he would do. It was like battling a much stronger wild one. We actually did well for a while, Sproing landed a lot of pecks and a razor leaf, but the stupid little porcupine knew rollout.

So we eventually got to a bit of a dead heat, and nobody was landing attacks. Spro was starting to really get tired (though I guess it would be hard for anyone but me to notice; he was still bouncing around like a lunatic), and then this guy, who had been shouting tackle and headbutt the entire time, finally decides to order rollout, which would obviously be enough to finish the battle. I almost exploded. I felt so bad for poor Spro. I really wanted to do something, but I couldnt think of anything but to wait and see what this little rodent would do. He looked so evil.

I guess it was only a few seconds worth of suspense before the zigzagoon shifted that mean little glare of his from his trainer to Sproing, but it felt like forever. He tucked his head down and pulled his legs in. I really wanted to close my eyes, or run for the guidebook. They need to put like a Strategies for Defeating Zigzagoon thing in there or something like that. So, this zigzagoon starts to rollout, but suddenly, he changes his mind and unrolls, running to tackle Spro instead. Sproing was totally unprepared, and so was I, so he took the full force of the attack. This wasnt extra-effective like rollout, so he was able to get up. I was about to call him back, but he charged at Spiny, who thought he had won by surprise. Instead, Spiny got pecked in a really uncomfortable place.

So now Spiny is running in this little circle like a delibird with its head cut off, squealing. Sproing is just standing there chirping loudly. I swear he was laughing. I think, to him, it was like payback to all of those zigzagoon we lost to that we were able to see this evil, juvenile little zigzagoon acting so ridiculously. Maybe it was kind of mean to laugh (which I didnt), but it was great to see. The guy was just standing there, totally stunned. Once the zigzagoon calmed down, which was almost a full minute later (which is actually a pretty long time to run in little circles squeaking), he rolled himself up and did this full-on charge at Spro, who wasnt ready for it. So, yeah we lost. But it was worth it to a surreal degree! I seriously think we can beat the next zigzagoon. Last time I was wrong, but I have a good feeling now.

On another note, I think were going to head toward Widows Peak tomorrow. So, next time I write, Ill probably have a new Pokemon! Well, I hope so, anyway. I hope its as bright and fun as Spro. It must really stink to be stuck with a Pokemon with a bad disposition. The fun part will be naming it.

Yeah, right.


February 25th, 2005, 8:21 AM

For some odd reason, I loved the first sentence...I should compliment on multiple sentences, but that first sentence...O.o;
Anyway, another detailed chapter. Details (obviously) weren't a problem, considering I could envision the basics. Sproing was a cute name for Catiel- but a picture of Spoink (however you spell it) appears in my mind whenever I hear the name. It was a good idea to tie in the wild Zigzagoon with the trainer's Zigzagoon. I never really did find out what was the outcome of that battle, until I read the journal. The ending was suspenseful- I thought Spiny would listen....eh. Plus, you kept giving it different names...cute. XD
Either way, *long* chapter if I may add. Perhaps what Onii-chan (oni flygon) said should come in tact- about the descriptions. A bit more would make the story better...but there's also implicit description so I wouldn't exactly know. ><

Nice job again! It was really enjoyable to read. =]]]

February 25th, 2005, 8:36 AM
The first sentence? :o It's probably my least favorite in the entire 2 1/2 chapters I have done. Odd XD As for Spoink, yeah, that's probably where I got the name from o.o;; I'm about as adept in nicknames as I am in... uh... long distances running, AKA not capable at all.

Yep, again... descrptive writing and I... we just don't get along. I've always had a problem with it... I need to learn to overdescribe, I think, as then I'll probably have enough the get my images of the setting across. Though I'm glad you felt it was sufficient here.

I'm glad you're enjoying ^^ That's my main goal :)

March 12th, 2005, 5:31 AM
o.o;; been a while, eh? Finally finished up chapter 3. The word limit here will kill me, though.


Sproing, get over here now, Gina said, beginning to become agitated.

Sproing gave an obnoxious, defiant chirp before ramming himself loudly against the door of their room and shooting Gina a glare.

Spro, it is too early. I dont want to leave yet. Cmon over here, I want to ask you something anyway, Gina flipped open her guidebook and sat on the bed, only to be met by a knocking noise at the door. She looked up, Sproing, no! Dont if you like, dent this stupid door I hardly have any money left as it is! Gina grabbed her stubborn bird and carried him over to the bed where she sat down, still holding him.

She let Sproing go and proceeded to take stationary and a pen off the bedside table and write in large print, 6:00. She didnt notice Sproing bolt for the door.

Here we go she said, looking up. Oh, Sproing! Get over here!

Okay, Gina said once she had herded Sproing over to the bed, Here is what we do. See this paper? When the red on this clock says the same thing as what is on the paper, we can leave. Got it? So no more destroying the door, got it? The catiel gave Gina one more dirty look before sulking off to the far corner of the room.

No, Spro! Fine, Ill talk to you even if youre over there being difficult, Gina sat back down with her guidebook, Look at this. See, if we head toward Widows Peak Near the base of the mountain are a lot of bugs. You know, when I was little we had a family of wurmple living in my backyard. They scared the living daylights out of my big sister so I liked them a lot. I might want one, or maybe a caterpie...Yeah, actually I like caterpie better. So when we come out of the tunnel well catch a caterpie. You should be able to handle that, right? This statement evoked a squawk from the exasperated catiel, who prodded over to the door again and set himself down.

Gina gave an agitated moan, and then flipped to the final page of her guidebook. She began to write vigorously on the blank page titled, NOTES.

Suddenly, she fell back on the bed and proclaimed, Spro, I think Im broke.

The catiel, upon hearing this, dashed toward the center of the room and took a bounding leap onto the bed next to Gina. The bed fluctuated from the impact, and Gina sat up with a start, Not bro-ken, Spro. Broke. As in no more money. The catiel looked at her curiously. She had said the previous night that they were going shopping with this money. The way she had said it made the act of shopping sound appealing to Sproing But what now, that she didnt have any money to shop with?

Listen. If we buy all of the things we really need, well only have like 1000 left which is enough for five Pokballs but theres a minimum of five balls to enter a reservation. So either we blow all of our money trying to get a mountain Pokemon or we save some and catch a caterpie, and the odds of actually catching him are a lot better, Gina explained, more to herself then to Sproing. What do you think, Spro? You want a mountain buddy next?

A loud, negative chirp erupted from the corner of the room. Gina looked up, startled. The catiel had again retreated to the doorway, and was laying down staring intently at the grains of the wooden door. Gina sighed, and time passed in silence. By six oclock, both Pokemon and trainer had fallen asleep, and were victim to the rude sound of the alarm.

The Pokemon Center was swarming and, from the amount of dirty plates being cleared and garbage on a floor that had been clean several hours earlier, had been active for a while. Gina checked out reluctantly, and allowed Sproing to romp around and get in other peoples faces while she sat down and faced reality.

Once she set foot inside this cave, she would be on her journey. It was a difficult concept to grasp, though it was something she had prepared for her entire life. So little of a distance decided whether or not she was somewhere she knew. Her mind wandered to the time an overnight class trip had brought her to the foot of this mountain. The trip had been a lot faster. It only seemed like a few hours on the long golf cart-like machines that had driven the class across the fields. They had stayed in a nearby Pokemart, whose owners graciously offered to rent the top floors of their building as lodging to nearby schools each year. Gina imagined they were paid handsomely. She remembered a restaurant that had been in the area, long since lost to the convenience of the Pokemon Centers food court, and how they had eaten foreign foods for what seemed to be hours, hearing the stories the more experienced who were passing though had to tell of far-off lands. Yet they had never gone inside the Pass itself. Though, now that she herself had seen how rowdy and crowded it was that didnt surprise her.

Gina realized she didnt remember many of the details that one might think would stand out-- either that or she simply hadnt paid attention to them. The way the mountain loomed over everything around it and the awesome size of the Pokemon center, among other things, were sights she felt she was seeing for the first time.

A peck on her ankle interrupted Ginas thoughts, and she smiled at
the small bird that had roused her. Sproing supplied a happy chirp, and they proceeded out the door.

The Pokemarts werent any less crowded than the rest of the area, and shopping proved to be a challenge. It seemed, to Gina, to have the first-come-first-serve-Ill-race you-to-that-item feeling that Christmas shopping did. The pounding feet and small aisles were too much for Sproing, who thrived in open space, so he stayed close to Gina for most of the time. She quickly and quietly gathered what she needed and paid, dismayed to see that her earlier calculations were nothing but correct. The lost battle had devastated her funds to the point that she would have to choose between buying Pokballs and taking a chance with a Pokmon from one of the reserves.

Gina sighed and collected her thoughts on a bench outside the store. She hadnt realized how difficult decisions like this would be. Suppose she decided to take a chance with a mountain Pokemon, and she couldnt catch anything? Yet, she realized, the same thing could happen if she opted to claim for herself a caterpie. She looked at Sproing, who returned her gaze.

What do you think, Spro? she sighed, A caterpie or a mountain Pokemon?

Her catiel characteristically titled his head, considering. He stared into space for a second, carefully going through each option. Eventually, he looked toward the mountain longingly, and then at Gina. He had no desire to go back inside that thing she called a Pokemart, but he knew his authority as the original companion on this journey would be challenged much more heavily by a forceful, stronger Pokemon such as larvitar or magnegram. He made his decision, but then recoiled from it. The aspect of a team came into his head, carefully turning the gears. What good would a butterfree do them? A bug and flying type has the same pitfalls and a grass and flying Pokemon, and no more useful strengths.

Maybe, he reasoned, he could simply tell Gina that he wanted the caterpie, but then refuse to fight it, or just knock out all of the caterpie they met. This sounded like an acceptable plan until Sproings conscience bubbled up and over, and he gave a low, long chirp, sighing. He couldnt quite comprehend the origin of his desire to make this decision, but he was sure the feeling related to his loss the prior day.

Cmon, Spro, we have to get going, Gina said. Though, she realized, they didnt really have to get going. There was no one to tell them what to do anymore; no due dates or curfews existed in this new world. She smiled, Actually, never mind. Take your time.

Sproing gave his friend a confused look before continuing in his exploration of his decision-making skills. He reviewed his reasoning thus far carefully. He didnt have the faintest desire to relinquish any authority (or attention, for that matter), but he didnt want his own selfishness to get in the way of their overall success as a team. Had he lived a life like Ginas, he might have realized the validity of that thought as an oxymoron. Unfortunately, he had lived the uncultured, sheltered life of a grassland Pokemon, and this phenomenon passed over him, allowing him to venture further into his dilemma.

Gina looked down at her friend curiously. He was so deep in his thoughts; she began to wonder exactly what he was thinking about. Her question hadnt been that trivial though, she realized, it was important. She smiled. Judging by what she knew of Sproing, he had forgotten the point and actual question and had digressed onto a totally different tangent. She impatiently waited his verdict... or any motion from him, for that matter.

Sproing kept focused. It had occurred to him that Gina didnt realize the solemnity of this choice. It had also occurred to him that he was being overdramatic, but he dismissed that though instantly, enjoying the story he had begun to weave around what-ifs.

Her ten-year-old attention span finally winning her over, Gina stood up. Sproing jumped, startled by this sudden movement. She looked down at him expectantly, and he returned the gaze. Gina sighed, Okay, Spro, we need to do something before we end up being in that cave at like midnight. The little bird looked at her pitifully, and she sighed and sat back down, Cmon, Spro, I want to get going. Sproing continued to look up at the girl hed only known for a few days. If the butterfree turned out that bad, he realized, they could just give it to someone else. This seemed more than a little cruel to Sproing, and he decided to push that option away. Truth be told, neither option appealed much to him. Why couldnt she just decide? Why couldnt he have won that battle yesterday? Plagued with the latter question and his consciousness of his own well-being, Sproing finally came to a conclusion. He looked again to Gina and nodded, letting out a shrill chirp.

Oh, great, Spro, finally...so, are we going to the cave park? Gina asked excitedly.

Sproing took a deep breath before slowly shaking his head. No, no that wasnt his ideal, and he wasnt willing to forfeit anythingnamely, his authority-- for another Pokemon or a girl hed known only three days. Plus, she seemed to have an odd attraction to bugs, and wasnt at all disappointed with his decision. In fact, she graciously presented him with a happy face and her encouraging words, announcing the official beginning of their journey.


There will probably be two more parts... rr, please ^^

March 13th, 2005, 7:52 AM
Sproing plays a big part here, doesn't he? I think this part was focused mainly on the Catiel's emotions. It's very interesting to see you allowed it to think through these reasons and identify what a 'Pokemart' etc etc such and such is. Very cool. O.O

I think details were your strongest point. You have so much that fills in the reader on what they're thinking. Plus, the little insight on Sproing helped as well.

About the descriptions...the quantity was a tad low. It would help if you put in more, even if it is informative.

Otherwise, I love the thoughts Sproing had when it had to make a decision. You pulled it off nicely. Nice job =D!!

March 13th, 2005, 6:13 PM
I shouldn't double post....but congrats on the ff of the week. xD

March 14th, 2005, 3:45 AM
:o Why thank you! Heh, no one'll kill you XD

March 16th, 2005, 5:49 PM
1.Sproings Personality
2.You added new pokemon well
5.The overall wriitng
6.Fact Sproing loses a lot

1.I dont really like the whole diary thing
2.The region name is a little weird
3.Gina could use a bit more personality

I like this fic a lot! You added the Cateil (sp?) very well. Its supposed to sorta look like a parrot right because thats what ive been imagining it as. OT are my favorite type of fic (ORIGINAL is the key word) and you had good originality. Im not quite sure if this deserved fanfic of the week, but either way it is very good

Hawk of the North
March 17th, 2005, 3:57 PM
Wow, I clicked here completely by accident. I meant to click elsewhere. Despite, I'm glad I did. This is a great fic. Good job!

April 10th, 2005, 4:29 AM
Thanks reviewers ^^ I've been out for a while, but... well, apparently I'm updating.

And I'm also still cursing the word-limit.


The crowds in the cave hadnt thinned out at all since the previous day, and Gina and Sproing were hustled along the tunnels to an intersection branching off in three other directions. They made their way to the left, over a small hill that declared loudly the leaving of one area and entrance into another.

Gina stopped, a decision not met happily by those who were behind her, and gazed up at the tall building that was the entrance to the reserve. Shed come back, she decided, after she and Spro werent so tight on money. Sproing glared at the ground guiltily, as if it would soak up his regrets. He was beginning to feel the consequences of making a selfish decision, even more so because he constantly reminded himself that it was, in fact, his fault that the decision had to be made in the first place. In his attempts to console himself, he decided that he would win the next battle at any cost.

Cmon, Spro. Dont want to lose you, Gina said, starting to step away. Sproing quickly caught up, and they were off again, any problems and insecurities lost in the ever-moving crowd.

Very much to Ginas surprise, the hoards of people had thinned into small, dispersed groups after only an hour or so of walking outside of the tunnel. Soon the path dissipated into the forest, and Gina and Sproing had only distant shouts to remind them of the crowds. Sproing was once again freely running around, occasionally bringing back berries and rocks he found interesting. The region had transformed from the quiet plains around Sunrise City to an area of jagged rocks, and the invisible path Gina was taking hugged the wall of a plateau-- a plateau Gina hoped was Widows Peak. None of the maps the guidebook sported nor the map Gina had printed several days earlier were very helpful in determining her location relative to the Peak, so she hugged the wall of rock to ensure that she was heading in the same direction constantly.

Meanwhile, Sproing was having the thrill of his short life running around forest. Everything was something new, something to be discovered and explored. The wilderness concealed so many treasures that Sproing was, much to both his and Ginas disbelief, exhausting himself with all of the boomerang running he was doing.

The caterpie issue was settled fairly for both parties. In the late afternoon, Gina and Sproing happened upon a clearing in the woods where several other groups had dropped their belongings. According to her field guide, Gina found, caterpie were fairly common in the entire area around the still-visible mountain. It didnt take much searching around the edge of the field to reveal what looked to be a small nest of the little bugs.

Alright I think we will just need to land one solid peck on them, Spro Gina quietly instructed her catiel, When I say go... run in there and pick one.

Sproing nodded. He already had his eye on one particular mite that was nonchalantly lying by a nearby tree, staring at the sylvan canopy of the forest.

Ready Gina said, nervous, set Sproing tensed; eager to pounce. Go!

At Ginas shout, all activity within the swarm of caterpie stopped. They all looked up in Ginas direction, seemingly paralyzed. Sproing lunged in, charging for his acquired target. The bugs scattered in every imaginable direction, however, and Sproing quickly lost sight of the one he had initially been after. He stood as tall as manageable and looked around, trying to find his choice caterpie.

Spro, just get any one! Go, go! Gina shouted desperately. Sproing ran at the only caterpie who was standing still. The unlucky larva went sprawling, but quickly regained its poise.

Good job, keep pecking him! Gina called. Sproing steadied himself for another charge, and ran at his new aim. The caterpie responded by launching an attack of its own, and Sproing was met by sticky string in the face. The caterpie proceeded to throw itself at Sproing, who was running around, desperately trying to get the string off his face, and tripping over the caterpie who hadnt yet climbed to safety.

Provoked by Sproings pleading squawks, Gina did the only thing she felt she could; she threw the first of the five pokballs she bought. Sproing scratched the sticky substance away from his face enough to stop it from blinding him just in time, as the pokball broke open. The caterpie, now very obviously enraged, made another dash for Sproing, who deftly jumped over it.

Cmon Spro, just one more should do it! Gina yelled. The caterpie turned to her and made a high-pitched noise that was unmistakably an attempt at a hiss. Sproing took this opportunity to peck the caterpie again, and for a second time the bug was sent flying. It slowly got up, its determination apparent, and it sped into another charge at Sproing. Sproing jumped, but this maneuver didnt trick the caterpie again. Instead, it jumped with Sproing and grabbed onto his underside. He started to viciously bludgeon a very surprised Sproing in the face with his tail.

Sproing came down on top of the caterpie, and rolled over, manically kicking, trying to throw the caterpie off him. Now cut badly by his opponents sharp talons, the caterpie retreated behind a tree. Sproing stood, ready to pounce. However, the caterpie had a home turf advantage; Sproing was attacked from behind by the caterpie who had snuck around. The two rolled around, knocking into everything and anything, each of them striving to be the victor.

They separated again, caterpie breathing heavily and catiel exasperated and covered in the caterpies sticky thread. Each made another charge, and again rolled around madly. Gina desperately threw a second pokball. Sproing stood up and collected himself. There was a human word for this concept, he thought, but he couldnt quite remember what it was. He wasnt allowed the time to meditate on it, however, as the ball snapped open and the caterpie threw itself at him.

Ah one more peck should do it, lets go, Sproing! Gina called, becoming increasingly agitated as it dawned on her that she was repeating herself. Sproing recovered from another series of rolling and clawing, and tossed a pitiful look Ginas way. She threw a third pokball. Sproing stood tense, breathing heavily. He didnt understand how he could be having such a close battle with this little caterpie. His little legs shook and as the pokball clicked, capturing what was inside of it. Relieved, he allowed himself to collapse. It was right then that the word came to him, and he laughed to himself a little: Karma.

Day 4

Well, hello again. So much stuff happened today. I think Ill just relay a few important things I picked up along the course of the past twenty-four hours:

1: No amount of schooling or classes can prepare you for actually leaving home. I really did not want to leave Cuamenara today. It was a really weird feeling, and definitely depressing. It was so strange, going to someplace youve never been before in your life and knowing you wouldnt be going back not for a long time, anyway. And its not like moving or going to school far away, because you have your family to carry you through that. None of them could relate to any of this, so even when I do manage to talk to them its not like it will actually do me any good in the long run.

I have so much stuff I want to tell my brother. He and I never got along according to my parents, but we were really best friends for a long time, until my little sister came along. She sort of spoiled it Also, I really want to show my big sister the caterpie I caught, since shes so afraid of bugs but always pretends like she isnt and its so funny. Theres really no turning back now, and I cant wait until I get to see them next. I guess Ill get used to it, though. I mean, so many new people set off on big excursions every year, you must get over it.

2: Using a type advantage to your advantage is a lot easier when youre trading attacks on Game Boy Color. Seriously, I thought it would be just that simpleland a few pecks on a caterpie and you win because of type advantage. Uh, try no. I must've been like really lucky beating those meditite. It becomes a lot more complicated when you arent trading off moves and the caterpie your battling is some insane psychopathic little thing who looks like those animals from Animal Crossing when they get mad and do that weird thing where they shake their heads at the sky. Okay, thats a weird comparison. But still, when the other Pokemon does nothing until you attack a type advantage is much more of an advantage. Not exactly what I had expected going into the whole Lets catch a caterpie! thing.

Thats not to say that Spro was losing to a caterpie, but he was definitely getting tired and having some issues landing attacks. I feel bad, because I think I insulted him this morning when I asked him if he was sure he could beat a caterpie or something. Its really just my luck to run into to totally insane caterpie that ended up using half of my items. Seriously, after I caught the caterpie Spro collapsed, so I carried him back to this field we had passed on our way to catch a caterpie and set up camp. After getting him back up to near-prime, I let out the caterpie and used most of the remainder of me meager amount of resources to revive him. Typically, the first thing he did after coming back to his senses was whack Sproing in the beak and give me a dirty look. He warmed up after a few minutes, though, and ate an early dinner with us. Though, there was a very good chance it was the food that made him warm up.

3. It is better to have a small, well-trained, evenly strong team than a big team with only one Pokemon that has any battling experience. Okay, so maybe that first part doesnt exactly apply to me. But the overall idea is definitely true. After Spro, Caterpie, and I ate, it was still only late afternoon so we went out to train for a while. It actually went pretty well. Spro took out a few wurmple pretty successfully and Caterpie showed some weedle a thing or two. They actually tried to get along when we took on two other caterpie, and we won that too. We did have our pitfalls, losing to taillow and some bugs, especially when they got tiredand not to mention Spro and Caterpie still arent exactly best friends, but I really shouldnt rush them. For all I know, theyll never get along.

As far as Caterpie goes, actually, he turned out pretty agreeable. He was a poor loser and a little overly-aggressive on the battlefield, but overall he didnt give me many problems regarding listening, mainly to things such as, Please, Cat, dont hit Sproing with your tail. Every once in a while Id turn around to a very sour looking Spro, though. I wonder why he was so tolerant, that really doesnt seem like him. It would seem more in his nature to pummel the caterpie right back the second he touched him at all. I asked him, but he just gave me a strange look and walked away, so I guess I wont get to know. Not that I can understand him that well, but charades is always fun. I cant really blame him for not wanting to act the entire course of his reasoning out, though.

So, anyway, it was starting to get dark and my healing items were next to gone, so we decided to start to head back. After some creative use of my compass, I finally got us headed back in what eventually proved to be the right direction. We walked for a little while, Caterpie proudly leading the way and Sproing staying safely next to me, until Sproing suddenly stopped. He looked at me and turned his head a little, thinking. Just then, I heard someone calling me. It was the oddest feeling, because I knew Id heard that voice many times before, but I couldnt place it for a second


And there is a least one more part. Thanks anyone who still reads for putting up with my inconsistancy.

April 20th, 2005, 3:14 PM
Word limits and lack thereof of homework limits are pure evil.


Gina! Hey, Gina! the voice called through the forest.

Gina turned with a start. The boy who came quickly into view was one she had come to know very well over the course of her lifetime, a neighbor who had been in her class and departed from Sunrise City the same day as she. No Pokemon was in tow, and Gina didnt remember which Pokemon it was that had left with him that day.

He ran up to her in way that pushed Gina into thinking he was going to hug her, something she was not overly comfortable with. She stepped back a little, and he stopped. Not meaning to offend him, she smiled, Hey, Jon! How are you doing? It feels like I havent seen you in so long.

I know, he panted, I heard you yell not too long ago and I ran all the way here. Youre the first person from our class Ive seen. Im really good, what about you? Before she could answer, Sproing gave a loud squawk and Gina had to grab Caterpie before he began slamming into her friends leg. Caterpie protested greatly to this, and managed to work his way out of Ginas grasp and land a resentful pound on Sproing. Jon looked at her pitifully.

Gina forced a smile, Im really good! Theyre a bit, um, well, restless, I guess. The caterpie is sort of aggressive. She gave Caterpie a dirty look that was hastily returned.

He laughed. I bet youre doing really well so far. I already have a real team, four of them.

Gina looked at him, feeling utterly incapable at the thought of the effort she and Sproing had put into catching their first addition. She knew very well what he was waiting for her to say. She gave a sheepish smile, Wow, thats so cool. Sproing chirped pleadingly, and Caterpie shook in anticipation. Gina sighed, So, you want to battle?

Duh! he offered. Theres a clearing right here!

Yeah, I know I set up camp there, Gina said, watching him jog off before she was finished. Yes, she had lived right next to him her entire life. Had she disliked him her entire life as well? Possiblyit depended on her mood. She walked after him, praying for it to hurry up and be dark so they couldnt start. They arrived at the field a few minutes later, though, and much to Ginas dismay her hand in front of her face was fully visible.

So! Jon said energetically, What do you say about starting with a caterpie-on-caterpie battle? Ginas caterpie didnt wait for a response, but charged onto the open field in front of her. She took a deep breath and nodded, watching as her friends Pokeball ignited a burst of light onto the field. The other caterpie appeared and looked at its surroundings. It was noticeably smaller than the caterpie she had seen before in the forest, though it didnt seen much younger, so Gina guessed that Jon had caught it in the fields around Sunrise where they were much less common and very reclusive.

Alright there Caterpie, it looks pretty confused. I think if you just do to it what you did to Spro, well be fine, Gina said. Caterpie nodded, backing up to Gina and then shooting forward, and the battle had begun. The other caterpie panicked and retreated to a low branch of a nearby tree. Ginas caterpie eyed the tree before following his opponent up. It was an average tree, with just enough leaves to make it difficult to see too far ahead of you. Ginas caterpie maneuvered its way through the foliage until the other caterpie came into view.

Gina watched the tree. Jon was shouting orders at the wood, as if the maple would uproot itself and comply. Gina eyed him, unsure of what to make of him. He wasnt a bad person; definitely not mean obnoxious was more correct of a term. In fact, Gina realized, he was a very nice guy. He was an overachiever, though, and didnt detest anything more than being wrong or being told so.

The two caterpie tumbled out of the tree, rolling across the field. Ginas caterpie was, once again, mercilessly bludgeoning his opponent with the yellow end of his tail. After they didnt separate for some time, Jon called his caterpie back. Ginas caterpie came crawling over to Gina and Sproing arrogantly, and the grass was lit up again and a small bird appeared on the field. Gina knew what this was: a zippurah, another flying Pokemon indigenous to the area around her hometown. It was a small Pokemon with nothing to complement its flying-type. The male form of this Pokemon, Gina knew, lacked the vibrant coloration of its female counterpart; the mother zippurah being the one responsible for bringing food to the family and attracting a mate as opposed to watching the nest. This particular zippurah was a male, its short brown and black feathers camouflaging it effectively against the darkness that was continuing to grow. It shared the size physique of a finch, minute and fragile with stubby tail feathers and a small head, though it had large feet which allowed it to grasp into things many times its own size.

You stay out there, okay Caterpie? Gina decided. She was counting on Caterpie fairing as well against this bird as it did against Sproing. The caterpie nodded, bouncing around as much as a caterpie could bounce. Jon said something to his zippurah, and it ran at Caterpie. Caterpie returned the charge, and the vicious tumbling began again. Caterpies tail was beating faster than his little heart, and tiny bird was clawing madly. They separated, and the zippurah disappeared into the night. Caterpie looked around, unnerved by the overbearing dark. Suddenly, the zippurah shot through the grass and struck Caterpie with a peck. The caterpie retaliated by launching them into another bout of hopeless wrestling in the grass. Both Pokemon came out breathing hard, exhausted, and Caterpies opponent again disappeared into the night. Another peck was too much for Caterpie, and he fainted.

Gina recalled Caterpie, and Sproing ran onto the field. The dark didnt bother him, and he too ran right at the zippurah. His tackle hit hard, and the pint-size bird was sent sprawling. He managed to stand up, though Jon called him back. Gina looked on, a bit confused, as her opponents third Pokeball sent a flash through the ever-increasing darkness. Gina made out the shape of a totodile, another Pokemon easy to find around Sunrise.

Alright, Spro, Gina said as Sproing ran back in her direction for a battle plan, I think you can avoid him, and razor leaf is a pretty long range attack. I dont really get what hes doing, but if you dont get too hurt against this totodile, I think we can win.

Sproing nodded and ran out into the field. The totodile followed suit, running toward Sproing after receiving commands of his own. He continued the pattern of charging as an opening, but Sproings longer legs easily carried him out of the way. The totodile lowered its head and again ran at Sproing, who jumped his pursuer and fired a flurry of leaves his way. The totodile took the attack lightly, and ran into yet another charge. Sproing ran around him and fired another storm of leaves that was responded to as poorly as the first.

Keep going, Totodile, just follow our plan! Jon shouted his first audible order since his attempts to make mobile the tree.

Gina looked on to the best of her ability as the night took complete hold of their surroundings and she lost sight of Sproing, the totodile, and Jon. Though, she realized, if she couldnt see him he couldnt see her run to get a flashlight from her things. She didnt know if that was against any rules, but she didnt want to risk Sproing getting hurt, or, she realized, losing.

She had left her backpack in her sleeping back before she left, though retrieving it in the dark proved to be a chore. The lock she had put on it in order to keep animals out of her food chose this time to be stubborn and she spent much longer than she would have liked just getting to her things. Jons call of Keep charging at him! rang across the field, and Gina reassured herself that nothing would happen while she was gone. Her flashlight had managed to sneak to the bottom of her bag, and even more of a chore than opening the sleeping bag was putting everything away and closing it again. She ran back to the field to a Sproing who was chirping quietly in confusion.

She quickly flipped on the flashlight to unmask a large Pokemon she knew immediately to be Jons starter, though she didnt know exactly what it was. Gina remembered having marveled at the strange-looking creatures presence during the presentation of Pokemon earlier in the week, but it had very obviously evolved. This form was much more ominous, and every time its outlandish, two-fingered hand would open and shut, a loud metallic clang would echo across the field. It was absolutely a Kantoian Pokemon, definitely not native to any area she had ever heard of.

Sproing, however, saw things differently. He recognized one thing about the odd monster: It was built for water. Sproing awaited an order, standing patiently until he realized Gina didnt see this; she hadnt figured out her friends strategy. The Pokemon standing before him was obviously much stronger than he was, that was no secret. Sproing reasoned that this boy had trained it around the field area he and Gina had started at until it was incredibly strong for a beginning Pokemon, and then used it to capture Pokemon from that area. He had undoubtedly trained very much at the reserve as well, breezing even more easily through the mainly rock and ground Pokemon.

It had probably evolved there, and then this boy felt it was ready to leave. This, realized Sproing, was why there were no bugs from this area yet on this team, and why he had run up from behind them to meet them. He had just arrived in this area, his intense training causing him to lag behind a Gina who, in her catiels opinion, was very rushed. Not that it mattered, anyway. All of the other Pokemon on this team served no other purpose than to sap their opponents power, making way for the one-mon barrage.

Sproing gawked at the large Pokemon, wondering why no one was giving any orders. Looking back, he realized the light from the flashlight had gone, and Gina was presumably fetching that book that she was always looking in. Sproing backed up some, and then sheepishly launched a razor leaf which seemed to bounce off the intimidatingly enormous beast. Sproing began to back up, warily retreating until his Gina returned with information on the creature in front of him.

The thing made a noise, a disturbing gurgling sound. Sproing turned tail and began a full retreat. A pain seared through his backside, and he peered behind himself to see several of his feathers between the things two fingers. A full run was immediately employed, the now threatening darkness bearing no comparison to the lopsided monstrosity before him.

Kingler (King-ler)

Ht. 43

Wt. 132 lb

One claw grew massively and as hard as steel. With 10,000-HP crushing power, it is a deadly weapon. However, it can hardly life this massive, overgrown pincer and its large size makes it unwieldy to use and it is extremely difficult to aim properly. Also, if it lifts the pincer to quickly it the shift in weight will throw the creature off balance and it will stagger.

So, thats what the thing was, I found out: A kingler, the adult form of krabby. When I got back to the battlefield from checking the guidebook, I found Sproing standing a safe distance away from the creature shooting leaves at it while it made sluggish attempts at grabbing him in a vice grip. Jon wasnt shouting like a madman, so I figured he couldnt see very well. My light was weak and didnt accomplish much besides barely silhouetting the Pokemon, so I stood there sort of helplessly. I mean, what could I tell Spro to do that he wasnt already? The ugly gargantuan Pokemon wasnt moving anything but its claws, so Sproing didnt exactly seem to be getting much of a workout, forget about being tired.

In short, eventually Spro was taken out by bubble attacks. I think we did well, though. I dont exactly know what the point of having just one super-Pokemon is. I mean, his Totodile at least could probably be really good. And a Pokemon can only grow so old so what happens when Spro catches up to Kingler or Kingler just plain gets knocked out? Poof, you die. It's really a meaningless strategy... actually, it was the one my brother used in his game. It didn't really work, so there.

So, thats my analysis of the day. Luckily for me, Jon insists on escorting us to the entrance to the Widows Peak grave site. Awesome fun yeah right! He will absolutely not be staying with me any longer than that.

Hn, now I need to nickname Caterpie, too. Curses.

June 11th, 2005, 4:01 PM
Part one of Chapter Four. I took a liking to a certain invetibrae in this part... I really enjoyed him. Hope you do, as well.


It was stubbornly ominous.

Gina carefully let that sentence roll around in her mind. It had been tediously constructed, and she was then in a phase that consisted of considering the true meaning of it. It applied to so many things at once.

The decidedly bleak weather headed that list. The group had awoken to drizzle, and the drizzles grip still had hold as it neared noon. It wasnt pleasant for anyone, but Gina felt especially sorry for Sproing who, in his refusal to be belittled by Caterpie, did not want to go inside his pokball. Instead, he was stopping to preen his matted feathers every few steps; he was uncomfortable and sopping. The kingler from the previous day, appropriately named Cancer, had been released and was gratefully enjoying the closest thing to the ocean it had felt in a long time. It ran arounda strange side-to-side shufflewith Caterpie (who had made a game of trying to stay dry) chasing after it and trying to stay in one of the havens its large body and claw provided. Yes, the rain was stubborn and, Gina worried, ominous.

The mountain was something else that her concoction applied to. Jon had insisted that they stop traveling alongside the rock wallsomething about slides that Gina wasnt paying attention toso for quite a while they had gone without any directional marker. It had risen above the trees, though, and now towered over them; Gina wondered how this awesome congregation of solid rock could ever condense into something as simple as a plateau.

The next thing that came to Ginas mind was a more specific aspect of the mountain. The description of Widows Peak in her field guide had been very foreboding, almost like a warning. Common sense told her that this was written like that purposely, to attract attention (though, she admitted, this was the same common sense that had directed her wear jeans, which retain water very well and heat not so much).

This thought spurred several others. Her backpack was heavy. Her feet hurt. It was drizzling, and she was cold. She had layered her shirts, but a wet shirt was the same as several wet shirts: damp, chilly, and uncomfortable. And it wasnt as if she could simply fix all of these things, as she was flat broke. And more so, she realized, she was bored.

Hey, Gi? It was Jons voice. Gina shook herself out of her thoughts to see Jon standing with two other boys, talking to them, with Cancer nowhere in sight. Sproing and Caterpie, however, were standing by him. Jon nodded to the boys, and then approached Gina. Look, he said quietly, these guys want to do a two-on-two. All that this guy has been talking about it his amazing growlithe, so I figure I could beat him with Cancer and you could use your caterpie against the other guy, since hell probably evolve soon anyway. Plus, you really need the money.

Way to plan out the entire battle for me, Gina sighed. What if that other guy has a flying-type or something? Caterpie would get annihilated.

From what you told me the caterpie beat up your bird pretty bad, he pointed out.

It wasnt that bad. There were like five hundred other caterpie there. He took out all of the caterpie we saw afterwards easily, Gina said defensively.

No need to get all offended. You want to try or not? he replied.

Sure I do need the money, I guess, she shrugged.

After seeking out a small clearing suitable for battle, the four contenders took their places. It was about then that Gina realized she should have recalled Caterpie and Sproing; the two boys now had been given ample time to work out a strategy that could easily destroy either of her vulnerable duo. Three pokballs exploded onto the field, and Caterpie ran out to join them. Gina surveyed the scene. Both Cancer and the growlithe had appeared, as predicted. The fourth pokemon had, as Gina guessed, been chosen strategically: it was an electrike.

Immediately, Caterpie dove for the electrike. What ensued was chaos.

Every kind of element went flying. Cancer shot a slow bubble in the growlithes direction; at the same time the growlithe spat and ember at Caterpie. However, by then, Caterpie had been thrown off the electrike. The ember instead hit the electrike as the growlithe was hit by bubble.

Trainers shouted orders, and Cancer lunged for the growlithe, whose name had been revealed as Lupine. The dog was subjected to a painful vicegrip, but the sudden shift in weight threw Cancer off balance and he fell forwards, with the struggling growlithe still in his claw. Meanwhile the electrike, who seemed to not have a name quite yet, had begun to roll across the ground in an effort to choke the flames. Caterpie stood a safe distance away, watching the spectacle in amusement. As soon as electrike began to right itself, Gina sent Caterpie into another tackle.

Electrike, she had found, though they were in fact (and obviously) electric pokemon, did not have the ability to learn more than one electric attacks before evolving, and that attack was merely thunder wave. Instead the little animal was pawing wildly, hoping to hit the bug beating him mercilessly. When he had become bored, the caterpie deftly made to a safe distance and covered his foe with a string shot.

It was then that Cancer succeeded in righting himself and, though his large claw was becoming hot and sore, he held on still to the puppy. The crab shook his opponent, only to receive hot embers in the face. The vicegrip tightened. A noise, almost liked a muted gunshot, was heard and Caterpie staggered backwards, slightly convulsing. While Caterpie tried to recover, the electrike turned toward Cancer and, despite his trainers call of, No! let loose a thunder wave toward the large crustacean as well. As electricity generally is, the shot was almost immediately transferred to the growlithe. The giant claw slacked for s few seconds, and the electrike pulled Lupine out of its hold.

Caterpiehaving (for the time being) overcome the paralysischarged the growlithe before it, too, had a chance to recover. The bludgeoning that came with the larvas tackle followed soon after, and it was a considerable time before the growlithe managed to shake him off.

While he was distracted with Caterpie, another series of bubbles made their way toward the dog pokemon. Electrike cut in, taking the hit. Cancer again tried to grab one of his foes, but the electrike moved, and the crabs weight had nowhere to go. Cancer toppled forward; the claw came painfully close to crushing Caterpie.

Caterpie took no mind, however, and Gina quickly saw the advantage his partner had laid out for them. With Ginas orders in mind, he made his way behind the huge claw, and, using it as a shield, proceeded to shoot string madly through the opening the grooves the teeth of the claw produced. From there, he climbed the crustaceous mountain to look down on the electrike ramming his head into the underside of a very unhappy Cancer. As he was about to douse the green dog in string, the paralyzing effects of thunder wave once again made themselves noticed, and he fell forward in time to take a charge from electrike.

With every ounce of strength he had, Cancer managed to lift himself enough to send a flurry of bubbles aimlessly onto the field. Jon, very unsure of how to help his friend, stood still with his mouth open, waiting for the correct order to come to him.

It was about this time as Gina and Jon stood, feeling very helpless, that Caterpie made his way around the living mountain and threw himself into a desperate charge at the growlithes very injured midsection. Still getting hit by stray bubbles (and increasingly annoyed by the rain), Lupine took the hit hard and he sprawled onto the ground nearby. He gave a whimper, and was gone in a flash of light.

All save the electrike who was still ramming Cancer-- as well as poor immobile Cancer himself-- watched intently as Caterpie stood stationary, gazing absently at the spot the growlithe had been and slightly shaking. Not now, Gina prayed, not now. You need to be able to really move, Cat. Cancer cant get up. But Caterpie paid no heed to Ginas thoughts, and a glow radiated from him as a chrysalis was spun.

The metapod sat there for several seconds as Cancers underside became rawer as a result of the repeated charges by the electrike. Suddenly both Cancer and Metapod gave a lunge, the crab shoving himself backward, successfully trapping one of the electrikes legs under his massive midsection. Gina looked on, slightly embarrassed, as the results of the former caterpies attempt at movement took effect: Metapod wavered for a second, and then fell over. Cancer continued to push himself backwards, and it wasnt long before, in a flash, the electrike was gone.

The rain, as if having waiting for them, then began to pick up. Jon recalled Cancer, re-releasing him in an upright position along with his totodile, Lockjaw. Sproing, who had retreated to the shelter of a shrub to watch the battle, ran over happily to meet Lockjaw. Gina gave her little bird a smile as he ran to meet his unlikely friend, and she went to retrieve Metapod. The traveling again began in silence, and Gina fingered the bills now in her pocket. She thought about what shed buy, sell, and exchange once they reached the next city, or even the mountain.

Metapod tried to make himself comfortable to Ginas arms. He knew he had been offered to ride inside a pokball, and he knew he had turned it down. He eyed Sproing and Lockjaw jealously wishing he, too, could be running around in the rain with Cancer as a joyful umbrella. Not that he was entirely unhappy about evolution; this meant he would sooner be a butterfree. He was simply bored, wet, and uncomfortable.

He fidgeted again. It wasnt that he minded the rain. Hed always liked it. The drizzle generally drove everyone away, leaving him free to wander the fields. This wasnt to imply that humans caused any problems. No-- the dangerous, more experienced ones simply stepped over him. It was the other inhabitants of the forest who caused a problem. A caterpie was quick lunch, a punching bag for venting any anger.

Not to say that hed ever had that problem. Hed readily heard of it from other colonies, though-- those who lived deeper in the forest. Deeper in the forest was where the powerful trainers paid attention to where they placed their steps, where it was dangerous to be a small pokemon of any sort, caterpie notwithstanding.

It was dangerous to be a metapod. Hed seen so many butterfree, even in his own colony, who had been forever condemned to the ground, wings tattered and deformed. Some were sentenced to darkness, eyes not working properly. This was because they had to be metapod first: Weak, immobile. It was no wonder why there were hundreds of caterpie and so few butterfree. He wondered how his friends deep in the forest survived. He wondered if they were still surviving.

He shifted position and was glad to see that the girl had finally picked up on his lack of want for the pokball.

That book that she always looked at might have told her. But the boy was stupid; hed led them away from the edge, toward the Deep Forest. Hed seen power-hungry humans, but the boy was lacking some sense if he wanted so much to be in the Deep Forest.

He sighed again. It was good, he supposed, that he had ended up with a human, though such a juvenile one was not nearly what he had hoped for. But they were all juvenile once, and if his luck to decided to carry him further she would be comfortable in the Deep Forest one day. He gave an internal laugh. He was never lucky. It was all chance, as far as he was concerned. Not to mention that shed soon drop him for a pokemon more powerful. Something twisted inside him, and he closed his eyes. Hed had enough of this girl carrying him.

He called to Sproing. The little bird slowly approached them, and then began to walk in time with Gina. Metapod reassured him that there was no way he could cause the bird any bodily harm.

So what did he want, Sproing wanted to know.

He wanted out: To be placed on top of Cancer, possibly wedged in between two of the prongs in his crown for stability.

Cancer, hearing this, made his way over to the three. Gina slowed, and then stopped as the giant creature approached them. Metapod began to squirm.

Whats up? Jon said, looking back at them.

I think hes sort of uncomfortable. I think he wants to ride Cancer, Gina said, more to herself than to Jon. Cancer smiled in reply, slowly moving his torso into a twisted nod. Gina placed Metapod on top of the crab. Metapod toppled over as soon as his shuffle began.

It was a significant amount of time before the pokemon were able to communicate Metapods desire to be lodged in Cancers crown, yet it happened. With the language barrier leaving all frustrated, the rain continued.


Do Review.

June 12th, 2005, 7:55 PM
:D wow it was the best fic ever!!! 10/10!!! ^__^!!

...ok, anyway, a nice portion of a chapter as usual. ^^ Was the lack of dialogue intended, though? o.o As in the battle, considering it abruptly switched from dialogue with little details to big paragraphs.

Your details are great as usual - but (to me at least) this chapter seems so dreary. ;.; Perhaps it is because of the rain, whereas nothing really captivated much. I would really advise on descriptions, though...I think it'll help the battle be more effective. This chapter was basically all explanatory; everything was explained through neat succession without much excitement. Either way, good chapter. (Side note: do you not capitalize a Pokemon's name on purpose... Just wonderin')

Good luck with second half. =]

June 13th, 2005, 5:17 AM
Hn, I'n not much with dialogue. I didn't think it was necessary for this portion, and I didn't want to get carried away during the battle. Some commands were implied, but in reading it over yesterday I made some changes to my copy in Word... I do need some more transition before the battle.

It was dreary -_-;; It's probably going to get worse on that account, as they're headed toward the equivalent of Lavender's Ghost Tower. It was intentional, and I'm glad I did it well.

*nod* I still have a lot of the chapter to go... this is like the first third ;.; (if it took me like six months to write just this...)... hopefully the excitement will pick up.

Thanks very much ^^

July 3rd, 2005, 6:05 PM
I figured I'd tack on the next bit, though it's only about 600-700 words. Meh.


Gina played with her hair again, trying to leash the horrible animal into a bun on the top of her head. The fact that it was wet made this extremely difficult, but she stubbornly refused to admit to herself that advice on getting a short haircut should have been taken. She gave an impatient sigh and turned around to face the entrance to Widows Peak.

It was boarded up crudely. The hinges where a door had once been were still visible, and Gina wondered whether they were costume or if the door really had been torn off at one point. More so, she wondered if the door had been ripped off recently.

She turned around again and hugged herself, rubbing her arms. Over the last few minutes the rain had picked up significantly, and between this and her ominous surroundings Gina was becoming increasingly uneasy. The land had become barren, with no path from the forest that sat a several hundred feet away. A hardy tree or shrub had sprung up here and there. Gina continued to coddle herself as she looked hopefully out into the oncoming darkness, wishing to see Jon coming back.

Her friend had left earlier, with Metapodwho had fallen asleep atop Caner-- in tow. Both trainers had wanted ghost pokemon, which had become more and more abundant as the closed in on the Peak (Jon had gone as far as to claim hed seen a chimecho). After wasting her final two pokballs on a gastly, Jon offered to catch each of them a pokemon and meet her at Widows peak so she could check into the Pokemon Center.

But now there was no Center and no Jon, and with Metapod out of sight, Sproing had gratuitously accepted Ginas last offer to enter his pokball. Gina was unsettled and alone, without the initiative to check her guide to see if the Peaks closing was routine, normal. In fact, she thought, she had no intention of ever finding out if the closing was normal, as her gut feeling told her enough.

Her heart skipped a beat and she shuddered as creaking and banging could be heard from inside the mountain. Pokemon live there, she convinced herself, its not like those stupid boards keep everything out and in. Gina had seriously considered breaking in; getting in trouble with an officer didnt bother her at the moment as much as the rain and mysteriousness of her surroundings. In fact, she thought, an officer might even sympathize with a young girls situation.

Time passed slowly, and with every second came a new theory about what could have happened to Jon. Kidnapping, injury if Gina didnt have such a twist in her stomach when she thought about leavingabandoning Metapodshe would have been on her way to the city long ago.

Headlights appeared in the distance at one point in the void of time, and Gina gasped loudly, a gasp that verged on a scream. She stood paralyzed for a second before working up the will to dash away. It took even more of a will to stop running, and to make herself duck behind a nearby boulder. The creaking and banging suddenly exited the realm of Im hearing things and made its way over to the entrance of the plateau. A pickup truck pulled up to meet it.

Gina didnt want to see who was getting out, and she didnt want to hear what was being said. Hide she was always good at that. Shed always win tag and seeking games. She recited to herself the old rules she had lived by in hide-and-go-seek: Dont look, dont move, be quiet, dont panic. Dont look, dont move, be quiet, dont panic. Dont look, dont move, dont dont


Anyone know how I can change the title here? o.o' I want to. I may just start a new thread for that and the chapter one revision...

July 3rd, 2005, 6:25 PM
Edit the first post.

Anyway, I'll get onto the next coupla chapters as soon as I finish and post my own chapter one.

July 3rd, 2005, 6:45 PM
Edit the first post.

I tried that on another post and all it did was change it internally.

Better safe than stupid, I s'pose.

As a general though in reading over what I've written so far, it's amazing me how much my writing has changed with each part of the fic. Even the parts of chapters two and three differ. Weird.

EDIT: Si, all editing the title on the first post does is change the post title, not the thread. Hm...

July 3rd, 2005, 8:19 PM
****. I'm used to Invision. On IB you can edit the first post to change the thread's title.

Why not PM your local neighboorhood mod? :) I've got to, too anyway. My title's not tentative anymore. :(

July 9th, 2005, 5:00 AM
And the next part >.> I'm almost finished... thank God...


Metapod stirred. He felt his eyes begin to open, but he closed them again, begging Celebi to let him fall asleep once more.

A sudden thrust forward woke him up entirely.

He examined his surroundings. He was still on Cancer, though he had loosened significantly and one more such lunge threatened to throw him off. The land whizzed by too quickly and he couldnt see it well through his tired eyes, though it was obviously forested. Metapod wondered where they were, why they had left the barren land and headed back toward the forest. Most importantly, he wondered why he and Cancer were alone.

The king crab began to slow down in response to Metapods twitching. Breathing heavily, he came to a complete stop and set his claw down, facing the way they had come from. There was silence. Metapod waited for his taxi to offer an explanation, but none came. The eerie, complete lack of sound from not just his companion but from the forest as well unnerved Metapod, and he had no desire to break the silence. It seemed to him that Cancer felt much the same.

The brush in front of them moved without the prompting of a breeze. Metapod stiffened, hardened. They had been running. And Metapods common sense told him that a sea creature such as kingler, built for a life of leisure at the waters edge, would not be running so quickly-- against his nature-- without reason. As the bush again wavered, Metapod could hear a muted groan come from Cancer as he took off again.

Metapod finally worked up the courage to speak as they fled, ((Whats going on?))

The sound of Cancers feet dominated the air for a second before Metapod heard him grunt, ((Dont know.))

They again slowed as they reached the rock wall. Cancer turned in order to-- it seemed to Metapod-- make sure they werent being followed. Several moments passed before Cancer declared their safety by setting his torso to the ground. Metapod gave a sigh of relief.

((So. You have a name?)) Cancer asked, his voice still deep and more like a grunt than normal speech as he breathed heavily.

((Not by her yet,)) Metapod answered somewhat apprehensively. He wanted to know what had happened during his sleep, not what the weather was like. ((Youre welcome to call me Carsu.))

((Not by the girl; that much I know. But Carsu... Mean anything?)) Cancer droned, his breathing returning to normal. ((Not made for that,)) he added.

The metapod, seeing Cancers lax attitude, tried to calm himself. If the crab, who had assumedly seen whatever had happened, could relax, he could as well. Carsu took some time to examine his position. He carefully surveyed his surroundings. They had backtracked through the forest, most likely searching for a new pokemon. He gave a snort at the ignorance of the children as he realized they had just run from the edge of the dangerous part of the forest. There was no telling how deep into it they had been before he woke up. That would account for the missing human, the silly boy.

Still, Carsu put the question into the open again, ((What happened?))

There was no answer.

Now becoming nervous and exasperated, the inquiry neared a shout, ((Where is the boy? The girl? The stupid bird? The lizard! What happened while I was asleep?))

The silence continued. Carsu strained his body, trying to bend over and see if, possibly, the crustacean had been knocked out by exhaustion. No, the metapod concluded, his eyes were wide open. There were a few moments more silence, before an agitated moan came from the cocoon, followed by: ((It means small falcon.))

((Ah,)) Cancer came to life, ((I see. Dont worry yourself, as far as I know the girl is safe. She took the bird to the chansey building. If youd kindly direct me, Ill take us to her now.))

((The boy,)) Carsu demanded.

((He sent me to bring you to the girl,)) was the matter-of-fact reply.

((Why were we running, then?)) Carsu asked incredulouly. He leaned over again, trying to look Cancer in the face. He wasnt sure intimidation would work on a kingler as it had on other caterpie, but he wanted to see if Cancers expression gave away anything about the seriousness of their position.

((Before I left, we were attacked. We ran,)) Cancer continued, still unsettlingly serene. Carsu waited for him to finish; he expected some explanation for why they were alone. But instead he felt a rumble as Cancer again lifted himself and began to head along the side of the precipice.

((Youre going in the wrong direction,)) the metapod offered.

Cancer complied, turning himself slowly, and they walked for a while, quiet, as both sides contemplated their situation. After several minutes, Cancer spoke, ((I dont remember what happened to the boy.))

Carsu remained silent.

Reviews always appreciated o.o;;

July 9th, 2005, 6:57 AM
After several minutes, Cancer spoke, ((I dont remember what happened to the boy.))

What do you mean by that?! ;o;


Good chapter...I really envy word choices. I really do. It just seems to fit together (like a puzzle, almost). Yet I'm still having a hard time conjuring up a sufficient imagery of the scenes. Your details are splendid - marvelous - whatever *adjectives* I can think of, but it might just be me, or I just can't picture anything. O-O; Well, some of them I can, but I'd really love to see more descriptions.

For 'Carsu' and Cancer's dialogue, it basically showed what they did and all, although the dialogue itself was nicely written. The only shred I could find was 'forest,' 'rock wall,' and things of that sort.

Plot is moving along smoothly. Gina was portrayed well. =D I laughed a bit at the hair part. XP The first part had more descriptions in it than the second one; both were easy to understand, however. At least, I thought so. >> <<

lol either way I enjoyed reading this. :D

Oh, and if you'd like, I'll try changing the title of the thread. If I can't, then I'll consider myself a failure as a worthless mod and ask someone else to, probably the highly skilled Niko he comes back.

o.o;...I think.

I'll just shut up now. ;;

EDIT: OMG yay I did it!11 :D

July 9th, 2005, 7:07 AM
Haha, thank you very much ^^;

****, I really need to work on my imagery, huh? ::kicks something:: Not sure why I can't get that down. Practice makes perfect, I s'pose.

Carsu... it took me forever to come up with a name I didn't hate... o.o;; But it seems pokemon should have names to, ne? Thank you babynames.com, I guess xD

Lily, the Uber-mod who can change titles!!!1one :D:D:D