View Full Version : The battle for Mana

July 2nd, 2005, 1:23 AM
Ack not very good but its the first stage of my first chapter for my book, lots of work to do still but id like to hear your thoughts and critisisms, ( i so cannot spell) anyway thanks for reading. And yes i need a decent title too :(

With every use of Mana, the world dies, with every death Mana grows, this is the way of life
Book 1 Mana for Beginners.

Riaan jumped down from the branch he was sitting on, with his robes fluttering in the wind. Riaan was a basic Mage in the local Guild, of the town of Tymara; a relatively large town in the Vandiar continent, it is a beautiful town with laughing children and remarkably old gossiping ladies.

Riaan made his way through the orchard with an apple in his hand, taking a final crunch out of it he threw it to the floor. Making his way out of the orchard he was upon the main market place, The stalls were busy as always, bustling with women and men haggling for the best deals. Nemar the butcher was laughing heartedly with the seamstress who had a rather beautiful face.

Walking through the stalls he made his way to the bookstore, his favourite place. He lived for knowledge, the history of Vandiar, of Mana, of dragons and their riders called dragoons, of powerful Warlocks, and great mages. Weoon the bookstore owner greeted Riaan with the usual grunt. Here again boy?
Yes, Master Weoon. I was wondering if you had any new books sir. Riaan bowed swiftly.
Ha-ha my boy, always with the books, no wonder I like you so much. Pulling a book out from his counter and placing it on the surface. This, my friend, I have kept back for you. Its a magical book see the pages are blank, Fluttering through the pages Riaan felt a powerful force from it So ill part with it for say 50 Tynars?
Riaan was an accomplished haggler, and by using his magic he could have easily walked out of the shop with the book for free, but he respected this man, so he parted with the fifty Tynars, bowed, and left quickly.

Riaan ran to the Mages guild accidentally knocking into the Butcher.
Aaaahhh, Master Nemar, I am so sorry. Riaan apologised quickly, picking up his bag, he looked down at the floor in respect.
HAHAHAHAHA my boy dont worry, this big belly of mine protected me from you HAHAHAHAHA Nemar bellowed jollily, and walked away laughing.
Riaan looked after Nemar with a smile on his face, and continued for the mages guild at a slower pace.

Getting to the Mages guild the main door opened magically for him and closed similarly. Acolyte Riaan, where have you been? The High Mage towered at the Mana altar.
High Mage Trebus, many pardons master I went to the bookstore I am so sorry Bowing and looking to the floor in respect.
Ah more learning, very good young Acolyte, but remember your exams are soon, you are falling behind in your herb lore are you not?
Yes High Mage, I will work especially hard, I am sorry Riaans face went red, he had forgotten all about herbology, being his least favourite subject he tended to try and forget.
Go child, whispering he added I never did like herbology either, but dont tell Mage Helena giggling slightly Trebus gathered his books and disappeared with a pop.
Riaan stood as he felt the wave of Mana flow over him and through him. He had never told anyone he could feel the waves and flow of Mana, he just assumed that as it was never noted in any books, and that it was so common no one ever bothered. Making his way up to his room Riaan sat studying the book until it became dark, putting out his ball of light he went to bed. Where he was visited by a strange dream, he was older his body powerful, his hair flowing in the wind, he was shouting but could not hear what he was saying, a powerful beam of light appeared engulfing him. All was dark.

Riaan woke with a start. Opening his eyes he could see he was once again in his room. It was a small room fit for an Acolyte; his books were strewn over his desk which stood under the window. A chest which contained all his clothes lay open next to his bed. He walked to the washbasin. Preparing himself for the day he cleaned himself up, looking into his mirror, he saw himself staring back.
His eyes were a piercing blue, not many could hold Riaans gaze, beautiful sapphire blue, he was most pleased with his eyes. He was a remarkably handsome boy although he did not agree with that himself, he looked to his short platted hair. It reminded him he was a child, but for only one more month. All children in the land of Vandiar must wear the plats until the day of aging, the Childs sixteenth birthday. His beautiful white hair which he adored absorbed the water he had furnished it with, and it glistened beautifully in the sun. All in all he was remarkably perfect, apart from his slightly pointed ears.

He hated looking at them, and requested from the high mage if he could disguise them, when the high mage told him he must be proud of his heritage, Riaan stormed to his room and did not return to classes for a week. He despised his father who was an elf, he had left Riaan and his mother when he was 5 and had not returned since. Worse still, half-elves were generally treated badly outside of their hometowns, and Riaan knew life was going to be difficult.
Riaans magic surged with hatred and disgust, and his mirror smashed at his raw power. This had happened only once before, when he was 6: a pack of wolves had chased him and when all had seemed lost the wolves just vanished, for no reason at all Riaan had passed out. When the high mage arrived he told no one to speak about what had happened and to never tell Riaan.
Astounded Riaan fixed the mirror quickly grabbed his magical book with his class books and ran to class.

* * *

Rising from her daily meditation Liiara looked at her surroundings worryingly. It had been 2 days since her pet Clana had gone off hunting, it was unusual for her to go so far away, and not to have returned by now. Liiara was not powerfully built, but by being a pure blooded elf this meant nothing; she had the strength of ten men, and the agility of a cat. Her weapons of choice were her twin blades Marasume, and Manasume these weapons contained the souls of two elves: Mara she who is wise, and Mana she who is powerful. These two sisters vanquished a great evil in their time, but gave the ultimate price, their lives. However their great knowledge allowed them to fuse with the weapons they had held for countless years, and thus Marasume, and Manasume were born.

Using her mind Liiara called out for her pet, but there was no answer. Fearing the worst Liiara started to draw a magic circle around her, when created correctly these magic circles would increase the magic users power 10 fold. Amulets with the magic circle engraved into them are often favoured by field mages, but the power increase is less. Liiara quickly finished the circle stood inside and called for her friend with all her might, she could search the whole planet if she had to and she would. Then like a tug of string her mind was pulled northwards, felt her friends life force was so weak she almost missed her, Liiara allowed her mind to touch her friend. Clana! What vile beast hath done this to thee?!
A black creature so very dark, it engulfed me Liiara I could not hold it back, the pain, despair, it attacked and I could do nothing, Im sorry my old friend. The foul beast is heading westwards towards the town of Tymara, it is drawn there something powerful rests at that place and the beast wishes to devour it. Now my friend I must rest, Goodbye Liiaramiko.
CLANA!! NO please dont die my friend I need you. Liiara screamed with her mind.
But her pleading fell on deaf ears, the wolf beast Clana, the last of her race was taken away by the wind and nothing of her was left, she had become one with the planet. In place of her body, a little Omara plant started to open. Omara, the symbol of rebirth.

This puzzled Liiara for only a second, then the despair took her over, she fell crying. Her tears were absorbed by the ground, her prayers absorbed by the wind. When she was empty of both, she stood and made her way North westwards as fast as she could, and being an elf this was very fast indeed. She had no idea what she would find in this town when she arrived, she only hoped it was this vile creature so that revenge would be hers, with Marasume and Manasume, she was invincible.

July 3rd, 2005, 2:16 PM
awww come on people i need help XD suggestions anything PLEASE *cries* *whimpers*

July 17th, 2005, 6:38 PM
I think its a good story, yeah, its good, dont be so down on yourself....

July 25th, 2005, 3:40 AM
Thank you so much ^^ noone else commented yay ^^